akatemple of reviews
 

Thought I would give a shot at starting my own review thread, I know there are already a lot on this site but just thought it can't hurt.

I am in the process of moving the reviews I have already posted on the Movie Tab thread and posting them here. The new reviews start at #51.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Heavenly Creatures (1994)
Directed by Peter Jackson
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Juliet Hulme and Pauline Rieper (later revealed in the trial to be Pauline Parker, as her parents never married) quickly become best friends when Juliet's family moves to Christchurch in 1952. They are both very creative and imaginative, they seem to use there imagination when they are dealing with harsh situations in there lives. They start to become lost in there fantasy and start to see Pauline’s mother as the enemy. The two girl’s parents try to separate them but the girls will do anything to stay together. Juliet and Pauline start thinking up a solution for this.

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I am very new at writing reviews for films, but I think that’s all I can say without giving away to many spoilers. I really enjoyed this movie a lot which kind of surprised me as I am not the biggest fan of Kate Winslet, so I was very pleasantly surprised by her acting in this movie which I believe was her first actual film.

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Melanie Lynskey (aka the stalker from Two and a Half Men) played a very scary and believably disturbed girl.

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The fact that this is based on a true story adds a lot to the film while you are watching it wondering how anyone can be this disturbed. In my opinion there punishment was very weak, maybe that is just the law in New Zealand.

I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend this to anyone who has not seen it.

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Sukiyaki Western Django (2007)

A gunslinger rides into a 19th century Nevada town inhabited by 2 feuding gangster clans, the Heiki and the Genji. The gunman (Hideaki Ito) offers himself to whichever clan will give him the biggest share of the rumored hidden treasure. The sheriff is in the pockets of the Heiki clan so the law in this town is nonexistent. The leader of the Genji clan (Masanobu Ando) has a holstered six shooter on one hip and a sheathed katana on the other. All the weapons in the movie are old-school, but the facial piercings and the emo haircuts bring a modern look to the characters. The story can be difficult to follow and demands that you pay attention to it. I had to re-watch several parts of the film because I was distracted by the bizarre nature of the film itself. The opening scene is amazing, Piringo (Quentin Tarantino) in front of a obviously painted background telling a animated story about a gunfighter while holding a blood red egg just removed from a snakes stomach while being held at gunpoint. It is hard to pay attention to the dialogue when the film is throwing these curve balls at you. This is not a complaint but just an observation.

Takashi Mike (Audition, Ichi the Killer, 13 Assassins) does a great job of Directing this Japanese take on the classic spaghetti western, the title actually refers to a classic Japanese dish called Sukiyaki, and Sergio Corbucci’s spaghetti western film Django.

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The Ninth Configuration (1980)
(also known as Twinkle, Twinkle, "Killer" Kane)

Written by William Peter Blatty (The Exorcist)
Directed by William Peter Blatty (The Exorcist)

The plot is a good one, and people who enjoy thrillers and mysteries will find enough action and plot twists in the film. But what makes this movie so special are the terrific performances (by Stacy Keach, Scott, Wilson, and Ed Flanders), the witty dialogue, and the religious undercurrents. Too often movies treat religious belief with sentimentality, but the Ninth Configuration deals with faith and doubt in with a dignity that isn't patronizing to either side.

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It’s Vietnam and a number of soldiers have gone psycho, during the film you will find yourself trying to figure out if they are faking or are they really crazy. The soldiers are being held in a abandoned castle in a remote forest, top USMC Psychiatrist is sent in to investigate. For his part Kane is determined to help the men, especially their leader Capt. Cutshaw. The film has many confrontations between Kane and Cutshaw. There debates are mainly about the impossibility of a God with so much evil in the world.

Cutshaw: " You're on your way out! I'm acting on orders so to inform you. "
Kane: " Who ordered you Cutshaw? "
Cutshaw: " Unseen forces far too numerous to enumerate."

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Sleep Dealer (2008)

Directed by Alex Rivera
Written by Alex Rivera and David Riker

Memo (Luis Fernando Pena) has always dreamed of leaving his small farming village, he accidently tunes into the wrong signal on his radio which turns out to be some kind of Top Secret government signal. The government finds out and kills Memo’s father accidentally. Memo runs to Tijuana to hide, he uses his time there to make money and send it back to what is left of his family. He gets a job as a plugged in worker, plugged in workers use a virtual headset to control machinery from south of the border with only a few side effects mainly blindness. Memo is contacted by a guilt ridden man who turns out to be the controller of the weapon that killed his father, the man is seeking redemption so they start planning the next move together.

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This is one of those Sci-Fi movies that I can really see happening not to far off in the future. The use of machines being controlled from far away by people desperate for money seems like a very realistic future.

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Stay (2005)

Directed by Marc Forster
Written by David Benioff

This movie did terrible at the box office and a lot of people still have not seen this film. The marketing and advertising for this film were almost non existent, what advertising there was does not do the film justice. The trailer that was released made this movie look like some kind of supernatural thriller, this film is not a supernatural thriller so the people that did go to the theaters to see the film were very disappointed.

Stay is a movie with really three main characters, Dr. Sam Foster (Ewan McGregor), Henry Letham (Ryan Gosling), and Lila Culpepper(Naomi Watts). The movie starts with Henry going to see Dr. Sam, Henry tells him that he is going to kill himself in 3 days. Pretty much from this point on you have to try and figure out for yourself what’s real and what’s not. About halfway through the movie scenes start melting together in a almost dreamlike way, this can get confusing and annoying.
I thought this was a great movie, I would not buy this but it is deffenitly worth renting and watching a couple times.



I know some people on this site do not like Ewan McGregor but even they should give this movie a shot.

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The Odessa File (1974)
Directed by Ronald Neame
Written by Frederick Forsyth (novel), Kenneth Ross (screenplay)

1963, President Kennedy has just been assassinated, Egypt has missiles posed to annihilate Israel. Egypt is missing one part, the guidance system for the missiles. They turn to the Germans for the part they need.

Peter Miller played by a very young Jon Voight (does he ever look young), is a freelance German journalist. Peter gets a journal that the police took after a man is killed. The man who was killed turns out to be a Jew that survived the Nazi concentration camps, his journal is filled with horrific about what happened to Jews in these camps, also in the journal are the names of Nazi officers that were behind all this violence.

As Peter keeps digging deeper into the man who died and the names in the journal he uncovers a secret Nazi group still in existence called The Odessa. Peter must go under cover and try to gain access to this secret group so he can stop them and prevent the guidance systems from getting into the Egyptians hands.

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This movie was really good, I have been avoiding watching this for a long time and I don’t know why but I wish I had of watched this years ago. I was worried that this would be a slow moving film, and maybe it was a bit but not enough to bother me in the slightest because I was really caught up in the story. I deffinatly suggest that anyone who hasn’t seen this movie should give it a shot and give your own opinion.

I like Ewan McGregor and I will deff give that movie a shot!! :):):)

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The Thin Red Line (1998)
Directed by Terrence Malick
Written by James Jones (novel), Terrence Malick (screenplay)

I went and saw this movie in theaters when I was 18 and I hated this movie. I watched this again about a month ago and have a whole new take on the movie. When I was 18 I think I was expecting a super action packed movie instead of beautiful cinematography, a great story, and amazing acting from the insanely huge and great cast. Nick Nolte, James Caviezel, Sean Penn, Ben Chaplin, John Cusack, Adrien Brody, John C. Reilly, Woody Harrelson, Jared Leto, John Travolta, George Clooney, Elias Koteas, and many more.

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This is the battle for Guadalcanal Island, Nick Nolte plays a intense career officer not seeming to care about how many of his men die but just caring about getting the mission complete on his superiors time table. Nolte's anger is so convincing that you are sitting there waiting for him to stroke out in one of his yelling rants. The cinematography is amazing, every shot is a masterpiece. The scenes that stuck out the most to me were the shots of the sloping fields with the tall grass, those shots made me really not want to look away from the screen. If you are one of the very few people who have not seen this movie then definitely do.

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Dogtooth (2009)
Directed by Giorgos Lanthimos
Written by Giorgos Lanthimos, and Efthymis Filippou

The director said that the idea for this movie started out as a science fiction movie about how in the future there would be these groups of people who would want to keep the idea of a proper family alive.

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Living in a house with no contact to the outside world and not being able to leave. A father and mother who appear to be psychotic in there methods of punishment and reward. The father brings a woman home who he has payed to have sex with his son to satisfy his sexual needs. But that was not enough for this director, the amount of incest and sexual awkwardness was hard to watch.

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The part that bothered me the most was thinking that somewhere in the world there might be a family like this. The scene with the cat being disemboweled, or maybe the fact that the father and mother teach the children that cats are the most evil animal in the world and will brutally kill you if given the slightest chance was bizarre(so deffinatly watch this movie if you are a cat lover, you can thank me later) as were all of the ways that the parents made there children to scared to even try to leave there fenced in property. I thought the film Castaway taught all of us a good way to remove a tooth, but this movie one ups Castaway and teaches an entirely new technique in how to safely remove that annoying little thing.

I loved the part showing the correct usage of a VCR during a fight. Also some good tips on what to do with those old VHS tapes laying around as long as you have some good duct tape.[/size]

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Bob Dylan: DON’T LOOK BACK (2011)
Directed by D.A. Pennebaker
Written by D.A. Pennebaker

DON'T LOOK BACK is a fly on the wall point of view of both the private and public life of Bob Dylan. When documentary filmmaker D.A. Pennebaker (Monterey Pop, The War Room) filmed Bob Dylan during a concert tour of England in the Spring of 1965, I do not think that he knew he was going to give everyone such a personal and intimate look into a very young Bob Dylan.

The scenes with Dylan and the reporters are my favorite parts, it must be so hard for someone to just get asked the same questions all the time and Dylan just throws it back at the reporters and makes them answer the questions often tripping up the reporters, some of the scenes I do not understand what point he was trying to get across other then he was tired of being called a folk singer. One of the best parts is after one of Dylan’s shows a reporter is phoning in his report and sais that Dylan is sermonizing rather than singing, but the people are so caught up on seeing Dylan that all they hear is the singing and not the sermon.

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Personally I am not a huge Bob Dylan fan however I really enjoyed this film, the concert footage and the sound quality is excellent especially since this was filmed in 1965. You can see the change in Dylan’s music, starting in the beginning as Folk music and starting to progress more towards Rock and Roll by the end of the film.

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Cold Fish
Directed by Shion Sono
Written by Shion Sono and Yoshiki Takahashi

THIS MOVIE IS INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS. The movie does not even have an innocent beginning, from the start you realize that something is wrong. When Shamoto’s teenage daughter is caught shoplifting they meet a man who is very cooperative in helping them out. A man who owns an exotic fish store driving a Ferarri, that was a red flag to me. The man offers to let there daughter work at his store and help put her on the right track in life, at first the Shamoto is all too happy that someone is going to help her. Very soon in Shamoto discovers that all is not right and then finds himself too far in to get help, the man uses Shamoto’s family to get him to help with his dirty work.
When someone is killed and all evidence is destroyed they call it making the person invisible, the man offers take Shamoto as an apprentice and teach him how to do this, let the killing begin.

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This is not a Japanese ultra gore movie, there is plenty of blood in this film but not enough to put people off of watching it. To think that this is based on a true story is enough of an upset, they do not need to add all of the extra gore.

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This film is well made and the story is very strong, basically a story of a week willed person versus a strong willed person and the week usually crumble under the circumstances. If you don’t mind sub-titles, and you enjoy a very suspenseful film then I strongly suggest watching this.

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Blue Sunshine (1978)
Directed by Jeff Lieberman
Written by Jeff Lieberman

This film is a classic from the late seventies indie horror scene. Blue Sunshine starts with a group of people having fun at a party, while singing a duet Frannie Scott’s (Billy Crystal’s brother) wig get’s pulled off revealing a bald head with long tufts of hair speckling his scalp, that teamed with his crazy eyes make for a very scary psychotic looking killer. It turns out this is not an isolated incident, more people are suffering from the same affects as Frannie, hair loss, headaches and finally psychosis. Jerry Zipkin (Zalman King) is an innocent man on the run from the police, trying to put together what these people have in common. As he digs deeper and deeper he starts to piece together the clues such as everyone that is affected is a graduate from Stanford and all from the same time, also the two words Blue Sunshine keep popping up.

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The political cover up in this movie is very fitting for today as the congressional candidate is talking about unemployment and trying to make more jobs for the people. Zipkin believes the politician is involved in some way and starts pushing forward trying to uncover the truth, but will he be able to in time to save everyone else?

Since this was a low budget film I think they made the right decisions to keep the gruesomeness at a minimum. I would not categorize this film as a horror but more of a mystery/thriller. Even though this movie was made in 1978 I think it can still hold its own against the newer movies coming out in the same genre.

This is the Sept. 20 2011 Dvd release, the only thing that has been added is an interview with Jeff Lieberman.

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30 Days of Night: Dark Days

Directed by: Ben Ketai
Written by: Steve Niles and Ben Ketai

I’m not sure what I am more disappointed in, the fact that I wasted 92 minutes of my life or that I wasted time waiting for this to arrive from Netflix. The story is about Stella, the only survivor from Barrow’s Alaska (30 Days 30 Nights) as she tries to get people to believe what happened. She soon meets 3 people who have had similar run ins with Vampires.
There is a queen in this movie of course, A queen which they must kill in order to stop the Vampire attacks from happening. Getting to the Queen will be difficult and matched with equally horrible CGI Vampire scenes. The only good CGI scenes in this movie are from the flashbacks from the original movie.

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Seriously don’t waste your time with this movie. In my opinion it is just a pathetic excuse to make money off of a movie that was good. You will never get this time back so just go and do something you enjoy for about 92 minutes. The only redeeming part of this movie is Stella (Kiele Sanchez) she is really hot and that’s all I have to say about that.

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My Left Foot (1989)
Directed by: Jim Sheridan
Written by: Shane Connaughton and Jim Sheridan
The Novel was written by: Christy Brown

This is the true story of Christy Brown (Daniel Day-Lewis) who is born with crippling Cerebral Palsy, he can only control his left leg and foot. Christy is born somewhere in the middle of his 13 brothers and sisters, they are a very poor Irish family, even with Christy’s disability the family never seems to give up hope even though there are some very rough patches that they go through. They cannot afford a wheel chair for Christy so they rig up a wheelbarrow to push him around in. The family seems to think that Christy is mentally handicapped, this is way before there was all that much known about Cerebral Palsy. I really liked the scene where he gets a piece of chalk in between his toes and writes MOTHER, his dad carries him on his shoulders into the local bar and sais: “This is Christy Brown my son the genius”.

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As Christy grows up more adult problems start to affect him, the main one is seeing everyone falling in love. The restaurant scene where he confesses his love for the Dr. is one of the most uncomfortable scenes that I have watched in a very long time. Watching Daniel Day-Lewis play Christy makes you hurt, he is so convincing that it is hard to believe that he is acting and not actually suffering with Cerebral Palsy.

These are my favorite lines from the movie.

Dr. Eileen Cole: “Christy, if you like we can work here.”

Christy: “F**k off”

Dr. Eileen Cole: “With speech therapy I could teach you how to say f**k off more clearly.”

In such a serious movie it is always good to have the comic relief just at the right times. Like the quoted lines above which made me laugh, there were other funny spots in the movie, just enough to keep it from being to overwhelmingly serious. The ending is fantastic and tear jerking but that’s all I think I can say about that. If you have not seen this film then please go out and get it however possible.

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Conan O’Brien: Can’t Stop

When all the S**t hit the fan at NBC Conan was not allowed to appear on television or radio for 6 months, So he got the idea to do a tour called The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour. Of course the title refers to Conan’s settlement with NBC.

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I have been a fan of Conan O’Brien for as long as I can remember. This film is great not only because it is freakin hilarious but also because you get to see the family side of Conan playing with his kids and being a dad. It is so great getting to see the uncensored Conan, even though he can get away with quite a bit on his old show and new one. He has a very dark comedy side of him that you get to see and you will find yourself rewinding over and over to see certain parts again. Sona Movsesian is Conan’s assistant, the way they treat each other is hilarious, and sometimes almost seems cruel even though you know they are just joking with each other, it also seems like he wouldn't know what to do without her. You also get to see what a tour like this is like and how much it takes out of the person and how much is asked of them, it seems brutal.



If you are a fan of Conan then you have to see this film.

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Infection (2004)

Directed by: Masayuki Ochiai
Written by: Ryoichi Kimizuka and Masayuki Ochiai

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This is a horror movie but with more of a thriller/mystery feel too it, the gore is less then you would expect from a Japanese horror movie. So in a nutshell: A decaying hospital (as well as healthcare system) is the setting for this nicely done thriller. Fear of illness, infection, hospitals, the dark, doctors.... they're all covered here. A botched death at the hands of doctors, a mysterious patient dropped off at the E.R., a hospital with very dark rooms and corridors, an aggressive virus that dissolves its host. The movie really builds tension, and the payoff does not insult the viewer. Most horror films today are pretty silly, and this was a nice little gem to discover. I Highly recommended watching this film.



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The Kennedys (2011)
Directed by Jon Cassar
Written by Stephen Kronish

I thought I knew a lot about the Kennedy’s from what I learned in school and TV programs that I have watched. It turns out that I knew a lot about John F. Kennedy but not about the Kennedy’s. This mini- series really gives a great look into the family starting with Joe Sr. (Tom Wilkinson) as a ruthless father who believes everyone has a price, John F Kennedy (Greg Kinnear) portrayed as a womanizing man that never really wanted to be president, Bobby Kennedy (Barry Pepper) who’s main job it seems is cleaning up after his brother’s sexual indiscretions, Jackie Kennedy (Katie Holmes) as the long-suffering but dutiful wife and first lady. What is odd is that Edward, Kathleen, Eunice, and Jean Kennedy are nowhere to be found in this mini-series.

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The Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis, Marilyn Monroe, the Mafia, drugs, and being the first Catholic president are just a few of the reasons that I think John F. Kennedy had one of the most interesting presidencies. It is important to remember that this is not a Documentary but a dramatized look at the Kennedy family. A lot of this film seems more suited to a soap opera then a serious drama, still this mini-series is addictive once you start watching making it really hard to press the stop button until you are all the way through.

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Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2011)
Directed by: Marvin Kren
Written by: Benjamin Hessler

Rammbock is a really great Zombie film from Germany and comes in at a astounding 59 minutes long. This being a very short film there was a lot of action and the storyline never lagged. The movie is about Michael a man who goes to Berlin to find his ex-girlfriend and instead finds a plumber’s assistant named Harper. Things happen very quickly and Michael and Harper find themselves being two out of the very few survivors in a apartment complex surrounded by Zombies.

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These are fast moving zombies, very fast moving zombies which mean’s the problem of survival for the characters even harder. They come up with a creative way to get by the Zombies, but that’s all I’m going to say on that. If you like Zombie films then I do not think that you will be let down there is enough action and gore to satisfy any fan.

It's the classic story, man falls in love with girl, girl dumps man, man goes to get girl back, man finds Zombies.

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R-Point (2004)
Directed by: Su-Chang Kong
Written by: Su-Chang Kong

R-point takes place in 1972 Vietnam. A radio transmission comes through and is identified as a South Korean Platoon that disappeared six months ago. Lieutenant Choi Tae is given the order to go to R-point and find the missing soldiers. When they get to R-point they find a marker saying that one hundred years ago the Chinese killed a lot of Vietnamese and dropped them into a lake, then built a temple over top of the place becoming a sacred place to the North and South Vietnamese.

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While trying to find the missing Platoon the soldiers find what looks like a abandoned southern style plantation house. Weird things start to happen, seeing ghosts and becoming possessed are just a couple ultimately leading to overpowering paranoia and violence.

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This not a huge budget movie but it still looks nice and has a good story that will not bore you. I have seen a lot of Asian ghost movies and this one is unique in that it takes place during wartime in Vietnam. If you like Asian Horror/supernatural movies then you should watch this one, just don’t expect to be scared that much, the movie focuses more on violence and blood then the ghosts.

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Eden Log (2007)
Directed By: Franck Vestiel
Written By: Franck Vestiel and Pierre Bordage

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This French film, this very long feeling French film is basically about a world where all their energy is supplied by a enormous tree. The Eden Log is a secret underground science facility for studying the exposed tree roots. The studies that the scientists are conducting include injecting people with sap from the tree which gives them a symbiotic relationship with plants, and plants with humans. Eventually the sap turns people into man killing mutants that are then placed in boxes and hung from the tree canopy.

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The part that bothered me the most is that the main character wakes up and can’t remember anything, in freezing cold mud, surrounded by dead bodies and when he does come into contact with a person he does nothing. He does no ask for a name, location, who are the freaks chasing me, any weapons, what’s going on, seriously what’s going on. This is a movie you either love or you hate there is no middle. I found the camera angles dizzying and annoying, Seriously what the hell is this film really about!

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YellowBrickRoad (2010)
Directed by: Jesse Holland and Andy Mitton

So the story begins zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh wow that was kind of disgusting
did not see that coming zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Oh god will the music
stop playing that is seriously getting annoying zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Wow that credits are rolling, did I really just
sit through that. :bawling:

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True Legend (2010)
Directed by: Woo-ping Yuen
Written by: Chi-long To

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This is a really sad movie about revenge, Su’s (Man Cheuk Chiu) son is kidnapped by his step brother Yuan, a very evil and dangerous fighter who has perfected the fighting style called Five Venom Fist. While Su is training to go and get his son back he meets two men, the God of Wushu(Jay Chou) and the Old Sage (Chia Hui Liu who also played 2 parts in Kill Bill). Both of these men are some sort of gods and he is the only one that can see them. After regaining his strength he goes in search of Yuan, Good versus Evil someone has to die. There is also some comic relief in this film with the help of the Old Sage and God of Wushu, some of the scenes are just so ridiculous it will make you laugh.

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This is also very very very loosely based on a true story about the invention of the fighting style called Drunken Fist which is still practiced today. The story is great and cinematography is just beautiful. David Carradine makes a appearance which I thought was just awesome. Anyone who is a fan of movies such as Ip Man or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon will love this movie. The fighting scenes are over the top goodness and there is plenty of blood and limbs flying around. I really suggest watching this movie.

Eden Log Looks like Dead Space. Will more than likely avoid as I can't see myself falling into the 'love it' category. Cheers.

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Clash (aka Bay Rong) (2009)
Directed by: Le Thanh Son
Written by: Johnny Nguyen

Trinh, a mercenary, must complete several missions for her boss in order to get her daughter back who is being held as collateral to make sure she completes the jobs. While starting her next job Trinh assembles a team of five including herself. Amongst the five is Quan (Johnny Nguyen, stuntman in Spiderman 1 and 2, We Were Soldiers, Collateral, Serenity, Jarhead, and X-Men: First Class) who has his own motivation for helping Trinh complete her mission. This movie has car chases, a love story, crazy action scenes, tons of bullets and heads getting kicked in, enough to make me smile. The entire mission is to recover one laptop, evidently the only one in existence that can hack into Vinasat.1 (a satellite), so the story as far as that goes is not really one that will make you think too hard. The story about the relations of the group that is assembled is quite good and has some unexpected twists.

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This is a Vietnamese film, I think this is either my first or second one that I have seen. A lot of the combat looks more like something you would see in a Thai movie, but that’s just me being picky because the fight scenes are great. I recommend this to anyone who likes a good ass-kicking movie.

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Troll Hunter (2010)
Directed by:Andre Ovredal
Written by:Andre Ovredal and Havard S. Johansen

This mockumentary starts with 3 young college students making a documentary about Bear Poaching (I’m guessing, it never really sais), soon it becomes obvious that one of the men is not a Bear Poacher but something else entirely. Of course the naïve kids follow the man into the forest at night and discover that he is hunting Trolls. None of the kids believe in Trolls but the man lets them follow him as he goes on a Troll killing spree.

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At the beginning they really try and make you think that this is a real documentary with footage that was just found and analyzed by professionals and found to be authentic. They do a really good job of that in the film also, the special effects are really good and the story line was pretty good. The only thing that killed it was that the girl (only one in the movie) was smiling way to much instead of being scared stupid.

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There is some good dry humor to help this movie along, such as the almost Monty Pythonish armor the actor wears in one scene, and learning about the secret government squad known as the TTS. The Troll hunter complaining about how he gets no overtime or benefits from his job, saying this as he’s jack hammering the remains of a troll he just turned to stone. This is a Norwegian film so yes there are subtitles even though I am sure you can get a dubbed copy somewhere. In my opinion it is well worth the 1 hour and 44 minutes it takes to watch this film, and I really suggest you do.

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Get Carter (1971)
Directed by: Mike Hodges
Written by: Mike Hodges and Ted Lewis

Jack Carter (Michael Caine) heads north back to his hometown of Newcastle for his brothers funeral. Nothing really adds up about the way his brother died, supposedly he was dead drunk and drove his car into the river. Only problem with that is apparently Jack’s brother did not drink. It’s not that Jack is very smart but more that he’s unpredictable and goes on instinct making it so that you don’t have any idea what he is going to do next.
Get Carter is a story of revenge, a very dark and gritty story of revenge. Even though Carter is a morally challenged protagonist, you find yourself rooting for him, this film taps into your dark side making you want more of the force without pity that is Jack Carter.

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I went and saw the remake of Get Carter (2000) with Sylvester Stallone and walked out of the theatre about 30 minutes into it, it was one of the worst movies I have ever tried to watch. After seeing that it did not make me want to run out and watch the original, big mistake on my part.
There is a huge difference in the story, main thing for me was that in the remake Sylvester Stallone’s character tried to hard to make you like him. Michael Caine did not try to make you like him or hate him, his character was just ruthless and didn’t care if you liked or loved Jack Carter. I really loved this film and thanks to HK for getting me to watch a movie I never probably would have on my own.

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Allen Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold (2008)
Directed by: Mark Atkins

I really like the 1986 Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold movie. I should have rented that and watched it again, but I did not do that. Instead I went ahead and got this 2008 FAILURE. Wow this movie is so horrible, there is nothing good at all to say about this film. There are so many mistakes in this, I don't see how during editing or shooting they did not catch that in Allan Quartermain's house in the film it has a alarm system, there was a blinking red light on a motion sensor in the hallway and this isn't one of those fraction of a second shots but probably about ten seconds the sensor is in view and right under it a modern day American style toilet, oh yeah and this movie takes place somewhere between 1910 and 1920. Just please don't waste your time with this, I have just done anyone who reads this a huge favor.



So to make myself feel better I will put the Trailer for the 1986 Allan Quartermain movie below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3071D-KQ3E

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9 (2009)

I can't believe I waited so long to see this film. This was a great animated movie, not for kids, this is a animated movie more for adults. This is a dark and gritty post apocalyptic story about a scientist who puts part of his soul into each one of the sewn up little lives, the characters must battle the evil machines so that they can finally be free. Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer, Jennifer Connely and John C. Reilly add there voices to this film. If you are a fan of post apocalyptic and/or animated dark movies then you should deffinatly watch this one.

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Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are on vacation up to there new cabin in the woods accidentally giving college kids they pass on the way the wrong impression. After things start going badly is when the hilarity starts when both sides (Hillbilly's/College Kids), the college kids think the Hillbilly's are trying to kill them and the Hillbilly's think the college kids are in some kind of suicide pact. Let the fun begin.

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This is the perfect combination of Comedy and Horror, in my opinion this is the best thing that Alan Tudyk has done since Firefly and Serenity. I really recommend watching this movie, I laughed my ass off while watching plenty of blood flying through the air.

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Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
Directed by: Jason Eisener
Written by: John Davies and Jason Eisener

A hobo (Rutger Hauer) jumps from a freight car hoping for a fresh start in a new city. Instead, he finds himself trapped in an urban hell. This is a world where criminals rule the streets and Drake (Brian Downey), the city's crime boss, reigns supreme alongside his sadistic murderous sons, Slick & Ivan. All the hobo wants is to save enough money to buy a lawnmower that is in the Pawn shop window, but winds up spending the money on a Shotgun instead. In a nutshell, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN is a homage to the sleazy "Grindhouse" cult films from the 1980's. It's not a throw back to the 1970's cult films (like the amazing DEATH PROOF or HOUSE OF THE DEVIL), but more along the lines of the neon bright splatter flicks of the mid 80's.
This was originally a fake trailer created when Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino were bringing their Grindhouse film to the masses. The film is bloody, very bloody right from the very beginning. You really find yourself caring for the hobo and hoping nothing happens to his new friend Abby the hooker (Molly Dunsworth).

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The car that Slick and Ivan drive in the movie is awesome, but I had no idea what kind of car it was so I did a bit of googling and found out it’s a Mid-70’s Canadian made car called a Bricklin.
There were references to a lot of great older movies and I swear right after the shotgun alteration scene there was an Evil Dead 2 Ash lookalike stuck in there, I might be wrong about that. If you like blood and guts with a bit of humor then watch this movie.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Directed of course by: Michael Bay

I watched the first Transformers because I was curious and wanted to see it with my friends, I watched the second Transformers because Megan Fox was in it. I am not really sure why I watched the 3rd Transformers, tons of explosions and violence is usually something I really like. But this was so PG-13 that you could tell, there was not on drop of blood even though hundred of humans were being slaughtered. The thing that really bugged me was the comedy and dumbass smaller Transformers, they tried to put way to much comedy in this film. Bottom line is just don’t watch this movie and I am not trying to offend anyone who is a fan but in my opinion this was just a big steamy pile.

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I Am Number Four (2011)
Directed by: D.J. Caruso
Written by: Alfred Gough and Miles Millar

Tonight I decided to go for a bad double feature, first was Transformers and as you can tell from above I did not care for that very much. I Am Number Four is not a bad movie, it’s about a alien world that was taken over and their saviors were sent to earth to do something, still a little fuzzy about what they were there for except to survive. The story line is pretty much the same as quite a few others, there just isn’t anything new in this movie, I am a big Sci-Fi person but this just did not do that much for me. I am a big fan of Timothy Olyphant and I really liked him in this movie. I am not really sure what else to say, I just told you the whole story line so there you go. The Blooper real on the bonus features was the best part to me.

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Oh yeah the dog was really cute in the movie, that's another point for the film.

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Phase 7 (2011)
Directed by: Nicolas Goldbart
Written by: Nicolas Goldbart

Coco returns from the grocery store with his 7-months-pregnant wife Pipi, when their building is quarantined due to the outbreak of a deadly flu. Some of the neighbors start running out of food and turning on the more well stocked ones forming rifts within the people in the building. Coco joins up with there conspiracy theory nut neighbor who as it turns out is right about everything and really well stocked on supplies and weapons.
You don’t get to see outside the building until almost the end of the movie, so I’ll let what they find outside to be a surprise.

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The soundtrack of the film is amazing, it really reminds me of 80’s early 90’s horror movie music. The movie is a bit drawn out and slow moving but all in all it was definitely worth watching.

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SHROOMS (2007)
Directed by: Paddy Breathnach
Written by: Pearse Elliott

This is your basic teens doing something really stupid around really weird locals and expecting nothing bad to happen. This film takes place in Ireland where 5 teens from America meet up with an Irish man and go Shrooming way out in the middle of nowhere Ireland, apparently Ireland is like the king of Shrooms, at least that is the way the movie makes it look like almost everyone in Ireland is up to there ass in Shrooms. One of the teens eats one of the really bad shrooms and starts tripping really bad, seeing the future and who is going to die.

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Oh yeah did I mention the talking cow, that part made me laugh pretty good. If you like movies like Wrong Turn and Cabin Fever then you should really watch this one.

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Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
Directed by: Lloyd Kaufman
Written by: Daniel Bova and Gabriel Friedman

If you learn anything from this movie it is that building a Fast Food restaurant on top of a Indian burial ground is a very bad idea. Arbie and Wendy (yes it’s part of a joke along with other characters names such as Denny, Carl Jr., Humus, Jose Paco Bell) are the two main characters of this film. Wendy goes off to college and becomes a lesbian while Arbie gets a job at the fast food restaurant named American Chicken Bucket. After a few really bloody deaths the people finally figure out that something is wrong, and of course with the help of the reincarnated Paco Bell who comes back as a Sloppy Jose sandwich.

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This film insults EVERYONE, if you are easily offended then don’t watch this movie. Luckily it is almost impossible to offend me so I loved it, enough blood and body organs being ripped out to make a Japanese Ultra Gore movie blush, and more nudity then a softcore porn. What’s not to like?
The song and dance numbers are hilarious and insanely offensive, oh yeah and Ron Jeremy even has a cameo in this. They completely rip on Jared the Subway guy (the guy that has ruined my name for the rest of my life) which is more than okay with me.

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The pop culture and political references as well as every race, creed, color, sexual preference, and body type in this film are very thick and hilarious. I think this is definitely the best Troma film I have ever seen.

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Devil’s Playground (2010)
A.K.A London Zombie Epidemic

Directed by: Mark McQueen
Written by: Bart Ruspoli

Zombie films have been coming out of everywhere within the last few years it seems, we have had the slow moving zombies and the fast moving zombies. So what did they bring new to this movie, well something I wasn’t expecting and that is Parkour (a.k.a. Free Running) zombies. This not only speeds up the zombies but gives them the ability to jump walls and leap through windows making it almost impossible to get away from them.
The film starts by introducing a company called New-Gen and a new drug they have just started testing RAK-295 which is supposed to increase strength and stamina. At the end of the trial 29,999 or the 30,000 volunteers all start having very horrible reactions to the drug, the end result being that you become a zombie and start eating whoever is closest. Angela (MyAnna Buring) is the 1 person who appears to be immune to the drug, but before New-Gen can find her thinking that she might have the antidote in her body all hell breaks loose in London making it near impossible to find her.

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Cole (Craig Fairbrass) is a mercenary who has lived his whole life doing horrible things to people, he thinks if he can find Angela and take her to safety that he will have finally done something good with what’s left of his life and get redemption for the things he has done. Cole, Angela and her boyfriend Joe (Danny Dyer), along with four others find themselves running for their lives trying to make it to safety.

This film really seems to be more about friendship and morality then zombies, when you have seven people and your lives are on the line what extremes would you go to in order to stay alive. This is a great zombie film with plenty of blood and flesh eating to satisfy any fan of the genre.

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The Perfect House (2010)
Directed by: Kris Hulbert and Randy Kent
Written by: Kris Hulbert

This film contains 3 short stories about a house or to be more specific the basement. In the present day Mike and Marisol are going to look at their dream house, the real estate agent showing the house is a sexual innuendo dropping sadistic woman, eventually at the end of the tour she takes them to the basement which is when the 3 stories start.

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“THE STORM” The first story is in black and white and takes place around the 60’s, the family is taking shelter in the basement because of a massive storm that is approaching the house. The kids are always being tormented by their mother being called weak and useless. With the flashbacks that you see that there are a lot of skeletons in this families closet. They soon realizes that the storm is not the only thing they have to worry about.

“CHIC-KEN” The second story set in 1986 starts off with a man mopping up blood and a girl locked in a cage in the corner of the basement. The man uses her as an audience while he allows people to choose the way they die and then carries it out, the girl is forced to watch while this is being done. The girl in the cage (Holly Greene) and the psychotic killer (Jonathan Tiersten) have great on screen chemistry and really play off each other doing a top notch job. This section of the movie has some extreme gore and you really feel you are watching one of the sickest killers ever.

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“DINNER GUEST” You get a teaser of the third part at the very beginning of the film when a man invites his neighbors over to his house for dinner. There is an important lesson to learn from this part and that is to always remember to return stuff to its owner after borrowing it and definitely don’t call it trash and throw it away. The man (Dustin Stevens) ties the family up in his basement, he is very upset at having his Weed Whacker thrown away by his neighbor, so he decides to start taking stuff from the father starting with his kids and proceeding from there. This is by far the sickest and most sadistic part of the film, starting with the two youngest children having to fight each other to the death in order to save their mother. The anger and viciousness of the killings provide any horror fan with plenty of blood flying everywhere.

As far as I can tell this is not available on DVD yet, the extras on the copy I have said that this was going to premiere on Facebook, so I did some looking and I'll put the link below.
http://www.facebook.com/ThePerfectHouseMovie



Oh yeah and Chris Raab from CKY, Viva La Bam and Jackass makes a small appearance in the film.

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Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

I have never read the comic series so there are a few things that bugged me about this movie. Does Dylan have some kind of super powers or anything because the beating he took in the movie was just beyond ridiculous if he didn't. There was a good amount of comedy in this but not to much to make it suck. All in all this was a good movie, I enjoyed watching it very much. But I will say one last thing and that is if your going to make a vampire/werewolf/zombie film then please rate it R.

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Good Neighbors (2010)
Directed by: Jacob Tierney
Written by: Jacob Tierney and Chrystine Brouillet

The movie starts out slow. In fact I was ready to turn it off a few times. But it is just attempting to establish the plot I suppose. Almost the entire movie takes place in the apartment building in Montreal in the neighborhood of Notre Dame de Grace (I really don’t know why that is so special). Louise (Emily Hampshire) lives alone with 2 cats with which she has bonded. The crazy French lady upstairs hates her cats with a passion. Spencer (Scott Speedman) is a man bound to a wheelchair with a crazy love for fish that eat other living things, he’s not to big on the cats either because they tease his fish, also there are definitely some anger issues with him.

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The new neighbor that moves in at the beginning of the film is Victor (Jay Baruchel) who is basically the same in this movie as he is in any film, spazy, nervous, weird, and has a crazy looking cat that he brought back from China(in the movie). Louise becomes obsessed with the serial killer that’s on the loose, this just becomes more so when her friend is killed by the serial killer(don’t worry that’s not a spoiler). Basically this is just another story of people contained in a small space trying to figure out who the killer is, I said at the beginning that the movie starts out slow but in truth the whole movie is slow and I found myself still waiting for things to happen. Might make for a rental if you really love Indie films and cats.

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2LDK (2003)

Director: Yukihiko Tsutsumi
Writers: Yuiko Miura and Yukihiko Tsutsumi

2LDK (2-bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen) only has two actors in the entire film, Nozomi (Eiko Koike) and Rana (Maho Nonami) are two budding actresses sharing an apartment in Tokyo. The movie starts out so calmly by introducing Rana who is such an innocent girl brand new to the big city Tokyo. Nozomi is the kind of girl that will do anything with a guy if he buys her stuff and is not by any definition innocent about anything. The two girls are sharing a penthouse in Tokyo, and come to find out they are both competing for the same role in an upcoming movie called Yakuza Wife. This film becomes a little tiring after a while, there are several fight scenes and by that I mean a lot of fight scenes where after they make up for a minute and then start fighting again.

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The movie consists of their outer dialogue and inner dialogue that is all, and it get’s kind of old after the first 30 minutes, luckily this movie is only 70 minutes in length. The fight scenes get old and the ending is well you’ll just have to watch it, but I didn’t find it to really satisfy me at all. But if you are just wanting to watch a crazy Japanese movie then this is a good one, the gore is good but if you don't like the shakeycam stuff then don't watch this.

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Assault Girls (2009)
Director: Mamoru Oshii
Writer: Mamoru Oshii

This entire movie takes place inside of an incredibly immersive virtual video game, sounds like a cool idea for a film right, well wrong. There are four characters in this movie, Jager, Lucifer, Gray, and Colonel, that’s pretty much all you get is just names without background or any clue about anything in the real world or in the game. Lucifer was my favorite out of the four just because she had wings and a cool hat. I’ll put a picture below.

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The whole point is the three girls and one loner guy are trying to get to the next level of the game, and in order to do that they must team up in order to beat the boss. Descent sounding story but so much of this movie is wasted with them just walking through the desert in silence. There is one part where they each walk past a snail and take time to examine the snail in detail before moving on (about 10 minutes). The movie is less than 65 minutes long so out of the entire film you only get about 5 minutes of action. The CGI is way too obvious and boring, the monsters and boss look exactly the same and not scary at all.

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THX-1138 (1971)
Director: George Lucas
Written by: George Lucas, Mathew Robbins and Walter Murch

This movie has been out longer then I have been alive and I just watched it for the first time, I don’t know what took me so long I guess it was just one of those films that I always skipped over because I did not think I would like it. I was wrong, I really liked this movie. The color or lack there of, the actors it was all great, and wow Robert Duvall was so young in this (yes I know it was 40 years ago) I mainly know Duvall from a lot of his more modern films. The mechanical confessionals were hilarious probably about as effective as the ones today (just my opinion, please no hate mail).

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To be perfectly honest I really did like this film but I did not understand a lot of it. From what I got this is a love story between THX and LUH, also I believe sex is illegal. This look at the future has almost came true IMO with so many people being on sedatives for one thing or another, that part of the movie at least I found quite fitting with the world today. I do not understand the reason in the movie why it was mandatory to take the sedatives and if you didn’t you got put in jail (futuristic bright white jail). A lot of this movie reminded me or George Orwell’s 1984 and the whole Big Brother thing. THX (Robert Duvall) finds out LUH is pregnant and escapes from jail in an attempt to reunite with LUH. I don’t want to say too much about the ending even though everybody but me probably saw this film a while ago, all I will say is that I thought it had potential for a good ending, but all it did was leave me hanging.

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Maybe it's just me but a young Duvall to me looks a lot like a young Robert De Niro. If anyone even reads this and can maybe explain the ending or the reason for the sedatives please let me know, also I really like Sid Haig but I don’t remember seeing him in this movie and he has to be in it somewhere, so if anyone can point him out that would be nice.

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Suspect Zero (2004)
Director: E. Elias Merhige
Written by: Zak Penn

Tom Mackelway (Aaron Eckhart) is a demoted and kind of burnt out FBI agent who get’s transferred to a smaller town because of screwing up a very big case the FBI was working on. Dead people start popping up with the same symbol on or around all the bodies, at the same time someone starts calling and faxing very vague clues about missing children. Benjamin O’Ryan (Ben Kingsley) is a man with a top secret past having something to do with experiments that the Russians were doing a long time ago but then the American government picked up where the Russians left off and continued the experiments. O’Ryan becomes the FBI’s number one suspect, Mackelway becomes obsessed with the case making others concerned that he might screw this one up just like the last big case he was on. This is a great movie about trying to track down a serial killer with some kind of ESP talent, there are lots of twists and turns that keep you watching, the ending is great and ties up the story nicely, this is a really good and suspenseful movie. Carrie-Anne Moss is also in this movie but to no great extent, she is more of an afterthought in this film.


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Meet Bill (2007)
Directed by: Bernie Goldmann and Melisa Wallack
Written by: Melisa Wallack

Bill (Aaron Eckhart) is a man who is trapped in his job and cannot win with his in-laws. Bill works at a bank that is owned by his father in-law, he has a made up job title and only has the job because he married into the family. His wife Jess (Elizabeth Banks) starts out the movie as a bored wife who has a thing for Chip Johnson (Timothy Olyphant) the local news reporter. When Bill finds out everything he lashes out at Jess, and Chip resulting in both of them taking out restraining orders against him.
Bill starts living in a tent in his brothers backyard while trying to mentor a young rich high school kid. Bill the kid and a lingerie sales girl (Jessica Alba) team up to try and win back Bill’s wife. This is a great comedy and had me laughing almost all the way through it. Aaron Eckhart put on a good amount of weight for this movie and is a part of the story with him trying to get back in shape and change stuff about himself. Through the entire film there is this donut franchise that Bill is wanting to invest in, that is actually quite a bit of the story but all in all this was a funny movie, but to be honest the only reason I got it was I stumbled upon the .gif I will post below, and then just had to see the movie.

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Rope (1948)
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Written by Hume Cronyn and Patrick Hamilton

This was the first time I have seen this movie, I have been trying to find a film that was made in one continuous shot. It was Alfred Hitchcocks idea to film the movie in one continuous shot but the technology did not exist at that time so he made it look like it was continuous by panning the camera behind someone’s back making it look like one shot. The movie starts with two really close friends Brandon (John Dall) and Phillip (Farley Granger) killing there other close friend, they then put the body inside of a chest in the main sitting room of the apartment. Brandon and Phillip then invite a group of people over for a dinner party the guests include the parents and fiancé of the murdered man. Brandon invites Rupert Cadell (James Stewart) without telling Phillip, Rupert was the schoolteacher of all the men at the party and the one person who posed the biggest threat of figuring out what had happened.

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Brandon and Phillip murdered there friend for the excitement and rush, throwing the party was just to see if they could get away with it. Brandon has interesting views on murder thinking that the superior intellectual people should be able to commit murder as long as it was against an inferior person, Rupert shares their views on murder because he was the one who use to talk about his ideas with Brandon. The main difference is that Rupert was a good person and would never have acted whereas Brandon and Phillip did. You can tell almost from the very beginning that Phillip is the weak link and immediately regrets what they have done to their friend. You find yourself on the edge of your seat waiting for Phillip to do something or say something stupid. Brandon is the exact opposite and definitely the alpha male in this film, he throws gas on the fire with some of the stuff he sais almost trying to see how close he can come to getting caught, he thinks he has committed the perfect murder. I left a few characters out because the movie seemed to mainly move around the three that I have described. I looked up some info on this movie and it turns out that this is based on an actual murder committed in 1924 which makes this movie way more disturbing.

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Special (2006)
Directed by: Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore
Written by: Hal Baberman and Jeremy Passmore

Les (Michael Rapaport) has a job as a meter maid (not sure if that term is unisex), he does the same unfulfilling job every day and has no one that is really in his life. He gets the chance to go and partake in a drug trial for a drug that is basically an anti-depressant it is supposed to remove the feeling of hopelessness. The medicine has an unforeseen side effect and makes Les start to feel like he has super powers such as flight, telekinesis etc. Suddenly he has a purpose and meaning in his life and uses this to start doing good and stopping crime. Maybe it is Psychosis or maybe Heroism from all the comic books he reads but in the real life he is ineffectual and powerless but he does not let that stop him from doing everything he can to help, and that really made me feel something for this character.

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This film is a very dark comedy and will make you never want to sign up for a drug trial. But this is also a heart ripping story of an example of one person trying his hardest to make a difference. If you like dark comedies or just in the mood for a good dark pick me up then you should watch this.

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Super (2010)
Directed by: James Gunn
Written by: James Gunn

Frank (Rainn Wilson) is a short order cook at a diner, he is married to Sarah (Liv Tyler) a recovering addict. One day Sarah is gone, when Frank goes to find her he finds that she is using again and has been taken by Jacques (Kevin Bacon). Frank finds himself unable to deal with the situation so he turns to god and starts praying, evidently Frank has been a victim of hallucinations or seeing gods signs since he was a young boy.

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Seeing a man on television (Nathan Fillion) dressed up as a religious superhero gives Frank the push to go out and start doing good and fighting crime under the alias Crimson Bolt, only he is less then prepared to start this new line of work. After a few minor successes he picks up a side kick Boltie (Ellen Page) who just acts all spazzy constantly just like Ellen Page in most of her movies. The two join forces in the effort to rescue Frank’s wife and a lot of unexpected things happen which I can’t go into detail here without spoiling the movie. This is a dark dark comedy/superhero movie, this is a must watch in my opinion especially if your into the dark/superhero movie genre if such a thing even exists.

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Bunraku (2010)
Directed by: Guy Moshe
Written by: Boaz Davidson and Guy Moshe

A Drifter (Josh Hartnett) walks into a bar, the Bartender (Woody Harrelson) sais to the guy….. yeah I’m not sure where that’s going. This is such a bizarre movie which takes place kind of like a post WW3 in which guns have been outlawed so now the sword has replaced the guns. The Drifter meets up with a mysterious Traveler with the help of the Bartender convincing them that they need to work together in order to achieve their goal of defeating the very elusive Wood Cutter (Ron Pearlman). Alexander (Demi Moore) is the Wood Cutters woman who really is just in a couple scenes but hardly enough to matter to the storyline at all, just thought I'd throw Demi's name out there.

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This film reminded me of Sin City just based on the artistic way it was made, there are some amazing action scenes but believing that Josh Hartnett is some kind of Martial Arts expert is kind of a stretch. But the fight scenes are imaginative and original to say the least. I really liked this movie just because of the artistic and bizarre nature of the whole thing.

For the Story.

For the creative and artistic way it was filmed.

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Noriko’s Dinner Table (2005)
Directed by: Shion Sono
Written by: Shion Sono

This film is a sequel (I know the picture above sais Prequel but everything I have been able to find sais it is the sequel) to Suicide Club which is a film that I really like. I had no idea that there was a sequel but am happy that I found it. The director is also the same who just released Cold Fish (2010) which is another great film. I was expecting a lot from this film and I did get a lot, about 2 hours and 50 minutes worth.
Noriko (Kazue Fukiishi) is a shy and very unhappy girl, she hates the town she lives in which she describes as in the middle of nowhere and dreams about living in Tokyo. Using the computer lab in her school she finds a website dedicated to girls ages 16 to 17, she becomes a little obsessed with talking to one girl Kumiko (Tsugumi) with the handle Ueno Station 54 who lives in Tokyo. Noriko comes up with the handle Mitsuko and keeps it throughout the movie never revealing her real name to her friends. Her new name helps her to change and become the girl she’s always dreamed of becoming. One night she runs away to Tokyo to meet up with Kumiko, this is when it starts to get really confusing and hard to follow because they should have put 2 hours 50 minutes of this movie into a 90+ minute movie. This is also when I realized that this was a sequel to Suicide Club because flashbacks from Suicide club and mentions in the newspapers start to pop up frequently in the movie, also for anyone who has watched Suicide Club the website is the same website where the two girls meet in the beginning of this film.

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When Noriko get’s to Tokyo is when all the confusing stuff happens, she and her friend start working as rental families for lonely people who want a family for the day. Noriko’s father tracks her to Tokyo but by the time he finds her she has been brainwashed into thinking that she was her handle Mitsuko and was unable to recognize her father. The rest of the story is just confusing, there are so many alternate reality stories that happen in the movie that it just get’s annoying, you will watch 30 minutes of the movie only to find out that it is a dream or a fantasy or something like that. This movie is long, confusing, annoying, and boring, most of the dialogue in this is their inner monologue which just get’s again annoying and confusing. This was a huge letdown so I suggest not even watching this and sorry if you already have.

Suicide Club
Noriko's Family Table

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Teeth (2007)
Directed by: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Written by: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Dawn (Jess Weixler) lives in a small town, right behind her house are huge smoke stacks I am guessing from some kind of power plant, I am not sure exactly how that ties in with the rest of the film. Dawn is very outspoken about her beliefs in abstinence that is probably a good thing since she suffers from Vagina Dentata (teeth in her vagina). She discovers that she has this after being sexually assaulted by her boyfriend who forces himself on her only to lose his most precious part. After this happens for the first time her character starts to change both sexually and her becoming a more dark minded person. Soon she starts to learn that she can use her GIFT to her advantage by getting revenge on people who have wronged her in the past or threatening her in the present.

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This movie was classified as a Feminist Horror film, I guess I can kind of see that. For me it seemed like they were just really trying to get there point across about pre-marital sex and puberty or coming of age for a teenage girl. I found the film to be more of a comedy than anything else but there was also a pretty descent about of blood and gore.

This is one brutal horror movie you should snatch up quick

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Faces in the Crowd (2011)
Directed by: Julien Magnat
Written by: Julien Magnat and Kelly Smith

Anna (Milla Jovovich) is the only survivor of the serial killer Tearjerk Jack, hitting her head during the attack gives her a diagnosis of Face Blindness where she cannot identify anyone by their faces meaning that she cannot identify her attacker. I did a little searching and Face Blindness is a real medical condition that just makes this movie all that more terrifying, trying to imagine this happening to yourself is such a scary thought. The cops become fed up with Anna since she can’t recognize the killer and because she makes a few mistakes, and calls them when she thinks the killer is after her, the one time it was her father that she couldn’t recognize. There is one person who continues to try and work with Anna, a Detective Kerrest (Julian McMahon and David Ingram) who has some kind of special connection to Anna that they really don’t explain and I can’t really go into this without giving away too much. Anna becomes very detached from life with all that she is going through, her boyfriend can’t stand the idea that she can’t tell him apart from any other man, even looking in the mirror she cannot see her own reflection she sees somebody else looking back at her. Anna starts seeing Dr. Langenkamp (Marianne Faithfull) who is deaf and starts to teach her how to recognize people by their body language and other distinctive things about the person she wants to remember. After going through some Hypnosis exercises the killers face begins to clear and Anna starts to remember.

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The ending without giving to much away was for me at least just really boring and not nearly the way I was hoping it would end, just kind of a Blah feeling when the credits started rolling. The way this was filmed was cool, the number of actors they had playing one person was interesting because they changed actors each time she looked away from the person or just blinked her eyes. All in all it’s a good movie and if you like the Psychological Thriller genre then you should watch this.

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Logan’s Run (1976)
Directed by: Michael Anderson
Written by: David Zelag Goodman and William F. Nolan

With the remake of Logan’s Run still a ways away I thought it wouldn’t hurt to watch this classic again since it has probably been about 17 years since the one and only time I watched this film till now. Logan 5, the movie's central character, is a sandman and is played by Michael York. He is given orders by the central computer to track down a group of runners who have not been "renewed" and might have set up sanctuary outside of the City of Domes. To do this, the computer advances Logan's life clock (all the citizens of the city have life clocks that tell their ages) to make him appear as if he's 30. Now Logan is forced to run, hence the title.

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While the billowing, disco-ish haircuts and outfits might scream "'70s!" to those who watch Logan's Run, the truth is that there is a lot to like about the movie. For starters, the premise is an intriguing one, and handled well. Giving Logan a succeed-or-die mission gives much of the movie an urgent, claustrophobic feel. York and Jenny Agutter (who plays Jessica, Logan's accomplice in his escape) appear on the surface to be the perfect bland "pretty people" for the shallow society depicted in the movie, but in the course of the movie, reveal their characters' depth.

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"Logan's Run" is a time capsule of what large budget sci-fi movies were before "Star Wars", but it succeeds, mainly from having a creative plot that draws the viewer's interest and transcends the trappings of the dated 70's designs. By no means the best sci-fi movie of the seventies, but one that’s quite enjoyable nonetheless. In the remake I really hope they keep the hair and clothing style that was in this film, I know it was made in the 70’s and reflects the hairstyles and other aspects of that time but without that then I really believe the movie will be to different and not a remake but a remodeling and after watching this again I just really hope they keep that feeling in the new one.

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Rika: The Zombie Killer (2008)
Aka: High School Girl Rika Zombie Hunter
Directed by: Ken’ichi Fujiwara
Written by: Ken’ichi Fujiwara and Takeyuki Morikaku

This well cast low budget, silly and goofy Zombie movie has actually got some really great parts, the fight scenes are actually pretty good and the film has a strong lead actress and a very diverse cast of characters. Fun and entertaining and fans of films like Tokyo Gore Police or Machine Girl will dig this. Nudity = check. Swearing = check. Gore=eh, a little. Blood = hell yeah and a lot of it.

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The film revolves around a scientific program gone haywire. While the emergency sounds are blaring in the background, the main scientist seemed to have slept after having an erotic dream after looking at a porn magazine. When he wakes up, he finds out that his colleagues are now zombies and instead of running away, he looks at his comrades in the eye and ends up being bit by one and thus becoming a zombie. We then see the exploits of a European wandering zombie hunter via a streaming video clip that a guy is watching on his computer. But somehow in this film, the main protagonist is defeated by a huge zombie monster which ends with the hero's arm being cutoff (and evidently, the hero is killed). We then see the monster take the cut off arm (which is still holding the sword) and throwing it towards the forest. It appears that this was not a fake movie but a real clip that had happened.

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Enter Rika and her high school classmate and BFF Nami as they ride in the subway and talk about Rika's grandfather who is a skilled surgeon who moved away and Rika still missing him. The two suddenly have an idea to run away and visit her grandfather Ryuhei at his summerhouse. We then see the grandfather who seems to be an invalid and just sits down with hardly any movement. A woman named Sayaka is seen taking care of him and happy that her brother is to be coming to visit. While at this village, we see Rika and her friend at the village and come face to face with a zombie. The town seems to be filled with zombies and now Rika and Nami try to run away and encounter some gangster guy named Tomoya. The three are then chased by zombies and end up escaping together and go to the summer home where Rika's grandfather is at. Meanwhile at the village in which zombies are growing and growing, three guys (who are like the comedy support of the film) try to find a way to escape the village. The three managed to make it to the village and we learn that Sayaka is the wife of Rika's grandfather and Tomoya is her brother (fake). Sayaka explains to her that her grandfather has Alzheimer's and Dementia but in truth, it was a plot by Sayaka and her boyfriend Tomoya to get money from Rika's grandfather and plans to kill him off in order to get the insurance money. Also, arriving to the residence is the original scientist who was responsible in everyone turning to a zombie. Supposedly, despite now being a zombie, he has resisted his zombie urges and wants to help Rika and everyone. Anyone who is a fan of the Ultra-Gore Japanese films should definitely watch this, great zombie movie, tons of blood and enough action to please anyone.

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Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)
Directed by: Brad Anderson
Written by: Anthony Jaswinski

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET taps into one of humankind's most primal anxieties: fear of the dark. An unexplained blackout plunges the city of Detroit into total darkness, and by the time the sun rises, only a few people remain surrounded by heaps of empty clothing, and abandoned cars. A small handful of strangers that have survived the night (Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, John Leguizamo and Jacob Latimore) each find their way to a rundown bar with a working generator to keep the lights working. With daylight beginning to disappear completely and whispering shadows surrounding the survivors, they soon discover that the enemy is the darkness itself. It seems if a shadow catches you then you just disappear the same with any kind of darkness. Luckily they have a generator however they are running out of gas (of course) to keep the lights on.

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This movie for the most part is entertaining and a good story in general, however there are so many unanswered questions and the ending just sucks. There are some really intense moments so if you like the sci-fi thriller genre then watch this movie, and you get to see Hayden Christensen do something other than screw up Star Wars movies.

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The Terminal Man
Directed by: Mike Hodges
Written by: Michael Crichton and Mike Hodges

A computer scientist (George Segal) is in a car accident, and the resulting brain injury causes him to have sudden, violent seizures. When he assaults his wife, he is imprisoned. Now, he's a volunteer in an experimental new medical procedure that might end his rampages, with electrodes planted in his cerebral cortex that are supposed to control and ease his bad impulses. The operation seems to be a success at first, but--as in FRANKENSTEIN--there's a downside to playing God. The electrodes malfunction, and he escapes from his hospital room. He's at large in a big city, and it's a matter of time before he becomes uncontrollably violent again....

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I have always been a huge Michael Crichton fan and The Terminal Man was the first book I read by him, to this day it is still one of my favorite books. But as in most cases the book is far better and much more interesting. The movie is good but it is long and very drawn out, about the first hour of the movie is just prepping for surgery and then the operation. If you are a fan of movies like the original Andromeda Strain or just a Michael Crichton fan then you should watch this movie.

I gave it a 3 just for being so drawn out, otherwise it would have gotten a better rating.

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Night of the Comet (1984)
Directed by: Thom Eberhardt
Written by: Thom Eberhardt

“Since before recorded time, it had swung through the universe in an elliptical orbit so large that its very existence remained a secret of time and space. But now, in the last few years of the twentieth-century, the visitor was returning. The citizens of Earth would get an extra Christmas present this year, as their planet orbited through the tail of the comet. Scientists predicted a light show of stellar proportions. Something not seen on Earth for 65 million years. Indeed, not since the time that the dinosaurs disappeared, virtually overnight”

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This movie follows two valley girl sisters in a post apocalyptic Las Angeles, after the strange comet passes by Earth everyone who was outside it seems has been reduced to dust just leaving there clothing behind. Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Samantha (Kelli Maroney) find a radio broadcast and decide to track the signal and head to the radio station thinking that the signal is live. Once at the radio station they find another survivor Hector (Robert Beltran, better known as Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager). Hector is a truck driver who has to head to San Diego and try to find his family promising that he will return and find the sisters. While Hector is gone a underground laboratory somewhere in the desert find out about the two girls who have survived and send people to bring them back to the lab for further testing. The people in the lab seem innocent at first but they might not be quite what they seem. There are a few other survivors it shows in the movie, but they are the typical looters and generally bad people you would expect in this kind of movie.

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There are some great early 80’s shopping montages set alongside the incredible 80’s horror film music. The shopping scenes are hilarious and have one of the best quotes of the movie when the younger sister asks the older which outfit she should take and the sister responds, "That one, it'll stay in style longer". It’s only a good line if you remember this is in a post apocalyptic world. The music, and especially the clothing fashion is one of the things that just makes this movie so awesome, if somebody tried to do a modern remake and change all of that it would be such a disaster. I saw this movie about fifteen years ago and just watched it again 16 years later and it’s still just as good as I remember, Horror/Zombie fans have probably already seen this movie but if not then you have to watch it.

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Incendies (2010)
Directed by: Denis Villeneuve
Written by: Denis Villeneuve and Wajdi Mouawad

Starting in Canada twins Jeanne Marwan (Melissa Desormeaux-Poulin), and Simon Marwan (Maxim Gaudette) are being read their mothers Last Will and Testament. The dead mother, Nawal Marwan (Lubna Azabal) asks that the twins go and find their father whom they thought was dead and a brother that they did not know existed. Simon does not have much of a part in the first half of the film, mainly it is Jeanne somewhere in the middle east (I believe in Lebanon as most of the flashbacks take place during the Lebanese civil war during the 1970’s) trying to find anyone who has a connection or any information about her mother. There are flashbacks during a lot of this showing Nawal Marwan taking a major role in the civil war and ending up in prison, the flashing from past to present at times for me was a little confusing, this is one of those films where you really have to concentrate and not miss a single line of dialogue. I think that’s all I will say about the flashbacks as to not spoil anything for others who have not seen this because most of the story and twists in this movie happen during those moments.

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During the second half of the film the brother has a large part when he starts helping his sister retrace their mother’s past, but for the most part I did not feel like he made much of an impact in the movie at all. The twins start discovering stuff about their mother that they would never have imagined and parts of their childhood that they were much too young to remember. I really think this is an amazing story of what a mother will do for her children as well as the lengths the children will go to too make their mother’s last wishes happen no matter what obstacles come up along the way. There is a bit of violence in the movie and it is the kind that is quite disturbing as most of it happens to very young children, but I am sure a lot of that kind of violence especially in that part of the world happened much too often in real life. This is an amazing movie, a very moving movie, and a twist ending that I did not see coming and it blew my mind, everyone should watch this.

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The Horde (2009)
Aka La horde
Directed by: Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher
Written by: Arnaud Bordas and Yannick Dahan

I remember when I was younger wishing that there were more zombie movies to watch, and now they are everywhere and coming from all different countries which is a good thing in my opinion. The movie starts with four police officers entering a huge condemned apartment building in order to get revenge for one of their friends that had been killed. Things immediately go bad, there is no wasting time in this movie. People start dying really quickly and equally as fast start coming back to life, the zombies in this movie are very fast, very strong, and almost impossible to kill (again). The cops and criminals soon join together to survive even though there is a ton of mistrust throughout the rest of the movie. The director said that he wanted to make an action movie and not just a zombie movie, he pulled it off very well I think. Parts of this movie will remind you of 80’s style Rambo films, tons of violence and way more than enough blood to please any horror/zombie fan. If you are the type of person who does not like fast zombies and prefers more of a Romero feel to their zombie films then this is not your kind of movie. The thing that stuck out to me was that I did not feel as if there was a lead/main actor, all of the actors were all equally intense and there was no real take charge person. The female actress (yes there is only one unless you count zombie women) is intense and quite often steals the spotlight off of the rest of the crew.

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The movie was just zombie insanity, I believe the director said there were 300 extras and in some scenes it seems like they are all attacking the actors at the same time, like a huge zombie mosh-pit. I would compare this movie to 28 days/weeks later, the ferocity and intensity of the zombies felt the same to me. It’s a movie for the whole family.

I love the description written on the top picture.
“A ZOMBIE MOVIE that bypasses the BRAINS and goes straight for THE NUTS.”

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Shaolin (2011)
Directed by: Benny Chan
Written by: Alan Yuen and Chi Kwong Cheung

Shaolin takes place during the early 20th century shortly after the collapse of the Imperial reign. This movie is all about different warlords trying to claim their piece of the pie, the main one being General Hou Jie. Hou Jie barely escapes with his life after a failed assassination on another warlord that goes very wrong, with his wife missing and his daughter dying he goes to the people who he thinks can help, the Shaolin monks. After suffering major losses Hou Jie find himself helping the cook (Jackie Chan) to get food to the starving refugees that had gathered outside the temple. Hou Jie starts to reflect on his life and all of the violence that has led him to this path in his life, he starts to embrace the Shaolin monk way of thinking which is completely different to the violent and heartless character that we see for the first 30 minutes of the film. Once Hou Jie’s brother realizes that the assassination attempt failed and Hou is still alive this forces the monks to decide how they are going to help Hou and also to save the refugees that are being held captive by Hou’s brother.

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This is where the movie turned for me, even though this is not a Jackie Chan movie, he has his parts in the film but he is by far not the main character he is “just the cook”. The cook still plays a really important part in helping to guide Hou from his life of violence to the tranquility of the monk’s life. When Jackie Chan goes to help rescue the refugee’s we get transported back to every film he’s ever made. I was hoping I would make it through this movie without seeing Jackie Chan using some kind of prop to kick some ass, I thought I was going to get what I wanted but I just don’t think he can help himself. This is a great movie but Jackie Chan killed it for me, luckily he is such a small part that you can kind of just ignore it and move on.

I think the moral of this story is that Karma is a bitch.

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Bellflower (2011)
Directed by: Evan Glodell
Written by: Evan Glodell

Woodrow (Evan Glodell) and Aiden (Tyler Dawson) have been best friends since growing up in Wisconsin where their favorite movie was Mad Max and they watched it until they became obsessed with how they will survive after the apocalypse. Now they live in California where they spend their time building flame throwers and trying to build their own Mad Max car Medusa. Out at a bar one night the two guys meet Milly and Courtney, Milly get’s in a competition with Woodrow to see who can eat the most live grasshoppers, I was immediately hooked at this point. Woodrow and Milly begin to spend most of their time together thus making Aiden jealous and throwing a wrench in their plans to finish building there post apocalyptic devices. After some relationship issues and an extended stay in the hospital Woodrow and Aiden start drinking heavily, that is more than the already heavy drinking in the first half of this movie.

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From this point on starts a chain reaction of some very psychotic, self-destructive, disturbing, and depressing actions that are just so awesome. There are some crazy twists in this movie that I did not see coming, I really loved this movie because I could identify with some of the characters, I have been waiting to see this ever since I randomly stumbled upon the trailer and it didn’t disappoint me.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3KX2IPTbjE

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Norwegian Ninja (2010)
Directed by: Thomas Cappelen Malling
Written by: Thomas Cappelen Malling

What the hell, the movie is called "Norwegian Ninja." It takes one of the largest political scandals in Norwegian history and writes an alternate, and absolutely lunatic, version of actual events. However, I'm afraid some of the humor and satire might be lost in the translation for overseas audiences as we may not be particularly familiar with the source material, I know that I did not get much of the comedy, Norwegian comedy?. If you are expecting non-stop fighting and comic mayhem due to the "Ninja" in the title, you'll likely be disappointed by the non combatant way of the film. The movie plays more as an outlandish spy spoof than as an action epic. And the film's humor doesn't rely so much on jokes or pranks but on an absurd hyper-reality.

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Mixing newsreel footage and fake educational films with the central narrative, "Norwegian Ninja" starts off with the capture of a high ranking diplomat spy. Based on the real life incident in 1984, It seems so according to first time filmmaker Thomas Cappelen Malling. Malling builds an elaborate world that includes international intrigue, secret plots, and an island paradise inhabited by an elite team of ninjas. It's all very cheesy, by design, capturing the feel of early era Bond with unusual contraptions, gadgets, and a flying car or two. This just reeked of a really bad late 70’s early 80’s very low budget action film, I really don’t know what to make of this movie except that I did not really care for it, but someone else might.

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Breathing Room (2008)
Directed by: John Suits and Gabriel Cowan
Written by: Gabriel Cowan and John Suits

Thrown naked into a room with 13 strangers making Tonya (Ailsa Marshall) number 14, apparently the last person and the one they’ve been waiting for to start the game. None of the 14 can remember how they got there and there are no obvious connections between any of them, the one thing they all do have in common is not knowing what is going on or how to escape. There are clues hidden all over the room (very large room) and finding them and interpreting them is very important, the only problem with that is that you can’t trust anyone because not everyone is what they seem. There are lots of rules posted throughout the room such as, wash your hands, do not step over this line, anyone who breaks these rules are killed. Everyone has a leash around there neck and one of the main rules is that you cannot adjust your own collar, but if you don’t have a collar then the rules do not apply to you. Out of the 14 starters the number starts to dwindle down quite quickly from the start, each time the lights go out someone dies, is it someone in the room or someone entering under cover of darkness.

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About halfway through they find a clue that sais there are three bad people in the room, a pedophile, a serial killer and a rapist, this is what starts the paranoia. Trying to track down the bad 3 in a room full of let’s say 14 is not an easy thing to do, and it is very interesting who is who. There are weapons in the room such as a gun with no bullets and a hammer, also some alcohol, there are others who have bullets, lighters, key’s, and clues but no one is willing to share because everyone is paranoid of what the other people might be.
This is a very low budget film of 25,000 dollars and it is painfully obvious as in the collars being made out of the tie downs you use on car hoses, the acting is good but the set is horrible. This could have been a great movie if it had more money thrown into it, but it is still a pretty good thriller regardless. The twists that happen are great and you don’t see them coming, the ending is awesome, another twist in the story that throws you for one. I would recommend watching this movie, it is good but could have been great if they had more money (or talent) to throw into this movie.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

By the way, great thread, thanks for bringing to my attention some horror I've never heard of that looks good.

Also, wanted to mention how pleased I was to read your review of Conan's doc. It was so much fun, absolutely wonderful, and a must for anyone who likes him.

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Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War (2004)
Directed by: Je-gyu Kang
Written by: Je-gyu Kang and Sang-don Kim

Jin-tae is a street smart shoe shiner who also works odd jobs to help his younger brother Jin-seok to study and go to college to be the savior of their very poor family, Jin-seok is the smart one in the family on his way to university and a much better life. The joy of this South Korean family fills the screen for the first moments of the film, only to change abruptly on June 25, 1950 when suddenly the North Koreans attack at the 38th parallel, forcing communism and death down the throats of the South Koreans. Jin-seok get’s drafted the South Korean way by being put into the back of a truck and being told you are going to fight, older brother Jin-tae forces himself into a situation where he will be drafted so he can look after and make sure his younger brother is safe. The degree of honor and camaraderie amongst the entire South Korean platoon, and especially between the two brothers is a very touching and emotional element portrayed in this film. Jin-tae makes a deal with his CO that if he can get a medal that they will discharge his brother, Jin-tae becomes obsessed with killing and volunteering for every suicidal mission that comes up. This leads to a rift between the two brothers, the younger not wanting the older to take care of him, and thinking that all the killing is starting to affect him in a very bad way.

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The remainder of the film explores the progress of this war with great detail, visually depicting the atrocities of war more brutally than any other war film that I have ever seen. But overriding the visuals of the war is the relationship of the two brothers and what they go through to stay together to try and make it back to their mother and Jin-tae’s fiancé. The ending to this movie is great and I have to admit that this goes on the very short list of movies I have cried at the end of.

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There are very few films that I am familiar with about the Korean war, I believe that this movie did it justice in the way of showing all the brutality and the way people can turn on each other under those types of situations. This film has all violence and limbs being blown everywhere as Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, and Hamburger Hill combined. If you like war movies then you have to watch this, I have never seen a movie of that genre that can compare.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

^ One of the best Korean movies ever! I would give it a 4/5. Have you seen Memories of Murder? It's like a Korean Se7en.. you should check that out.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Thanks it sounds great, I just put it on the top of the Netflix queue.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Also, if I've not recommended it to you already, take a look at The Chaser.

The director is Bong Joon-ho, who also directed the excellent 'Mother (2009)' :D Anyway, great review!

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Ach I've got this sitting around somewhere, been meaning to get to it. Cool review :)

On the Korean divide front I'd also recommend JSA by Chan-wook 'Oldboy' Park. Different vibe by the sound of it, but an intriguing take on more modern repercussions.

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Thirst (2009)
Directed by: Chan-wook Park
Written by: Chan-wook Park and Emile Zola

Sang Hyun (Kang-ho Song) is a Catholic priest who volunteers in a local hospital. He provides last rites when necessary as well emotional support to its patients. Father Hyun is well-respected but he secretly suffers from emotions that can be defined as doubt, as he witnesses the suffering going on around him. Yet, he cherishes life, so he volunteers to take part in an experiment to eradicate the lethal EV virus, which is a threat to every Caucasian and Asian male. Father Hyun becomes stricken with the deadly virus and a blood transfusion is ordered up for him to save his life; in turn he becomes the first survivor of the deadly virus and some folks begin to regard him as a saint. But soon after his new lease on life, Hyun finds out that the blood he had received is infected and he is now living as a vampire and only the consumption of human blood can stave off the virus.

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Father Hyun struggles with his new found desire for blood, and now also, his faith is put to the test when a childhood friend's wife, Tae-Ju (Kim Ok-Vin) comes to him to escape her horrible life. Sang-Hyun becomes overwhelmed as he plunges deep within the world of physical and sexual desires. The vampirism as seen by Park's rendition does have similarities to the established myths about vampires; vulnerability to sunlight, superhuman strength and speed, with a strong need for human blood--curiously this vampire does not grow fangs. Hyun becomes a compelling character as we see him torn between the need to survive while avoiding the need to kill. Hyun resorts to slowly drinking the blood from comatose patients in the hospital (but never killing them) and people who wish to commit suicide. Tae-Ju is one imbalanced woman who is manipulative of any situation. She seduces the kindly priest and manipulates him into believing that she is an abused wife, she is a woman torn between being dependent on her and the need to be free. The sex scenes between Kang-Ho and Ok-Vin are quite erotically creepy at times, and very graphic, comparable to some Japanese ultra-gore films. This film is funny, bizarre, and gritty. There is one very bizarre scene when Hyun and Tae-ju is having sex, with a vision of Tae-ju's dead husband sandwiched between them because of the guilt of murdering him. If you are a fan of Vampire films and would like to see a different take on the genre they you should watch this movie.

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My Date with Drew (2004)
Directed by: Jon Gunn and Brian Herzlinger

Brian (honeykid's evil twin) wins 1100 dollars on a game show and decides to use that money to make his dreams come true by getting a date with Drew Barrymore. They have 30 days to do this due to financial issues, they go to Circuit City and buy the most expensive video camera they have because they can return it within 30 days and get their money back. After the camera starts the endless amounts of phone calls trying to track down someone who knows someone who might in some way be able to contact Drew and let her know about this documentary and hopefully agree to be part of it. Somehow they actually get in touch with and get interviews with John August (writer of Charlie’s Angels), Corey Feldman, and Eric Roberts but none of them can offer any advice or any way of getting in contact with Drew.

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Finally they get the idea to put up a website about their documentary and do a radio interview to promote the site, unfortunately the site crashes 10 minutes before the interview. 30 days go by without anything, they leave the website up and running and on day 87 they get a call that gets the documentary back up and running after going to a different Circuit City and doing the whole 30 day transaction all over again. The movie has a happy ending and a pretty straight forward message throughout the whole movie which is to never give up on something you want. Seriously HK this is like a video tutorial for how to meet Drew Barrymore.

Would have gotten a higher rating but the main guy Brian just bugged me, he was such a spaz about everything IMO.

Yes, but it's only going to work once and it already has.

I quite liked him actually, which I'll admit surprised me. There again, I probably saw a lot of myself in him. :D He only bugged me twice. Firstly, when you find out that HE'D ALREADY HAD THE CHANCE TO MEET HER AND BLEW IT!!! And, then again, WHEN HE BLOWS IT AGAIN!! Honestly, I think I was shouting at the screen "YOU DON'T DESERVE TO MEET HER!" while punching the sofa in frustration. *Don't worry, I'm already medicated and under psychiatric supervision. :yup:*

Also, this is how to do it when you have 'friends in the biz' as, let's face it, while he's a complete outsider and on the extreme fringes of Hollywood, it's not like you or I (well, I certainly can't) can ask our friends if any of their movie friends knows anyone who could introduce us to Drew Barrymore.

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The Perfect Host (2010)
Directed by: Nick Tomnay
Written by: Nick Tomnay and Krishna Jones

John Taylor (Clayne Crawford who in my opinion looks just like a young Ray Liotta) has just robbed a bank and gotten away with 300,000 dollars, when he limps into a convenience store to get some bandages for his foot (I don’t think it ever shows how he hurt his foot) he catches a glimpse of himself on TV and realizes that there is a citywide search out for him, he has to find a place to lay low for a while. John abandons his car and starts walking through a random neighborhood, he finds a mailbox with a postcard inside, the postcard is from the residents’ daughter who is on vacation in Australia. When John knocks on the door you get your first look at Warwick (David Hyde Pierce), John pretends he is a friend of his daughter in Australia and tells Warwick that she told him that he should look up her father when he got back in town. Warwick invites John inside to stay for a little bit, in the beginning Warwick comes off as a very accommodating host offering wine and snacks to his guest so he basically plays his character Niles from Frasier with the same mannerisms and everything (but just in the beginning). A radio broadcast about the robbery makes John stop pretending, and starts getting violent and letting Warwick know who he really is. After John passes out from a few glasses of wine is when the movie really get’s interesting. I am not sure how much I want to say without giving away to much for someone who has not seen this.

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I really was only familiar with David Hyde Pierce from the Frasier sitcom (I looked up some info on him and he’s mainly just done a ton of voice over’s and other smaller TV sitcom’s), his character in this movie after the twists start happening is amazing. He plays a character that in my opinion could come really close to competing with Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lamb’s, the sick and psychotic way that he acts and thinks in this film just blew me away. I kind of knew what this film was about before I watched it but there are just so many twists, you see a few of them coming but the really huge twists in the story I did not see coming at all and it just blew me away. This movie is great, watch this movie if you have not already, an awesome Psychological Thriller with minimal blood, so it’s great for people that don’t like all the gore.

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The Final (2010)
Directed by: Joey Stewart
Written by: Jason Kabolati

The Final is a story about 5 high school kids (Dane being the main character) who get harassed on a daily basis by the jocks and popular kids, the bullying has been going on for so long and gotten so severe that the 5 have had enough and gotten to a point where they cannot take it anymore. Dane and his four friends are all avid horror movie fans and have devised a plan to throw a fake party, drug everyone, and torture them as payback for all the harassment that they have had to endure. Their plan is not to kill them but to inflict pain and punishment on them so they will know what it’s like to be “different”. That is pretty much the plot, there are some minor things that shake stuff up towards the end, but this is a story that’s all too familiar in the news in this day and age, Bully picks on boy and boy does something stupid to hurt, scare, kill the bully. From watching the trailer I had high expectations going into this and was disappointed, there is a huge buildup with the bully’s picking on the weaker boys and you find yourself wanting the bullies to get what is coming to them.

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That is where the disappointment comes in, the revenge they get is just boring, it is all stuff you have seen if you have watched a few horror films, nothing really new was thrown in. The acting was what you get when you have bullies playing the stereotypical bullies and the weaker kids playing the stereotypical nerd, goth, foreigner. Oh and the all too familiar “Mean Girls” that say stuff like “We are going to be the hottest bitches at the party”, it’s just all been done before. If you are looking for a weak revenge flick where bullies get some weak torture and you see the ending coming a mile away then go for it.

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The Rig (2010)
Directed by: Peter Atencio
Written by: Scott Martin and C.W. Fallin

While starting a new drill line into the bottom of the ocean the drill bit hits some kind of unknown pocket and wakes something up that has been unseen up till now. With a hurricane coming oil rig C is evacuated except for all vital personnel, that leaves 9 people on the rig to ride out the storm. The killing off of the crew starts quick and in such a generic way with some blood splashing on the window or on a wall, this was obviously a very low budget film. More and more start dropping dead until just 2 crew members are left, the communication is down (of course) and there is no way off of the rig, also no weapon except one gun with a few bullets and then it’s just using pipes to try and beat up the monsters. About the monsters, they really reminded me a lot of the Morlocks from The Time Machine (1960), yep this was low budget and not in a fun way just in a really bad attempt at making a horror film. Just do yourself a favor and don’t watch this movie.

To spare everyone's eyes from having to see the horrible images from this movie I thought I would put some of the original art from the book on here instead.

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The Three Investigators And The Secret of Skeleton Island (2007)
Directed by: Florian Baxmeyer
Written by: Philip Lazebnik and Thomas Oliver Walendy

I grew up reading the Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigator series even though they were all released in the 60’s and early 70’s which is a bit before I was born. I still read these books to this day, they are great, you can easily finish one or two in a day, they are cheesy and corny but still my favorite books ever. I found out that they had made two of the books into movies, Skeleton Island and Terror Castle, it has taken me forever to get hold of a copy of this movie, and it hurts me to say that it sucks it just plain old sucks.

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There are your three main characters in any Three Investigators story, Jupiter Jones, Bob Andrews and Pete Crenshaw, these three are described over and over again at the beginning of every book, the cast in the movie is entirely wrong and they just make the characters look like a bunch of prepubescent dumbasses. In the book the characters are 14 – 15 years old and the story is set on or before the years that the books were written (1960-197?), so taking the nice story from 50 years ago and putting it in the present day was just one of the worst mistakes they could have made. Half of the fun of the books were the cool gadgets they would make with spare parts, stuff that was not easy for kids to afford or maybe even get their hands on at that time but in the movie they have modern day gadgets which takes away a lot of the stuff I enjoyed while reading the books.

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Now just about the story of the Secret of Skeleton Island, the part I liked best about the book was the haunted merry go round and all the spooky stuff that was scaring off the workers from building the amusement park on Skeleton Island, yeah forget that it is not in the movie at all in fact there are no ghosts or haunted anything. 90 percent of this movie does not even take place on the Island, when these books were made the three boys still thought that girls had cooties but in the movie they threw in a romantic interest for the boys it's just wrong. Even though this is just so bad I am still going to try and find the next one which is The secret of Terror Castle, but anyone who is normal should just not watch this movie, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

very cool

Great review, Pierce gave the best performance I've seen of him and despite the film taking odd turns near the end I also enjoyed it. It's more of a for me though.

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Attack the Block (2011)
Directed by: Joe Cornish
Written by: Joe Cornish

I started watching this movie thinking that it was just going to be another clichéd alien invasion movie, but it definitely is not, the director did not go the safe way with using the boring kids from the American suburbia but instead used a bit more rough group of kids. Beginning of the movie starts out with aliens crashing into one of what I am guessing is a pretty bad part of London and start converging on one particular ‘council block’ I am guessing in America that would be what we would call ‘low income housing’. The council block in question is home for a street gang of young thugs who make up most of the main characters in the film, the movie does not waste any time and the movie quickly evolves into a fight for survival as the thugs try to evade/kill the aliens attacking “their block” especially when it becomes increasingly obvious that the aliens are coming after them in particular. The aliens in this movie are not the cute and curious type nor are they the super soldier with amazing technology variety. They are not here to make contact, or to study us, and definitely not trying to take over the world, they are here for a reason but I cannot give that away without spoiling the movie for people who have not seen it yet.

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The aliens are done in an interesting way in that less is more, they are so black that they are almost invisible seeing how this whole movie was at night or in dark hallways and rooms. They have teeth and eyes that glow a very nice shade of blue, when there is only one on the screen it is nothing special but when there are twenty in one hallway then it becomes a very cool looking affect. The kids in this movie are your tuff young gang members who swear and smoke pot, they do not play it safe. There are parts of the movie that gives you a glimpse into the kids and their hard edges and street tough swagger, but it also lets you see that they are still just kids when it comes down to it. I really liked the little side story surrounding the pre-teen baby thug wannabees, they keep trying to join up with the older boys insisting that they be called Probs and Mayhem, but are always told to leave and go home. I really like the line from the exasperated Probs when he sais to Mayhem "No one is going to call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy!” The two pre-teens do actually have a very nice moment in the movie where they are very helpful to the cause of killing aliens.

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I as an American had to use subtitles to watch this movie and still a lot of the time had no idea what they were talking about or what the words meant, but that is a very small complaint and does not get in the way of the story. I thought it was funny that they put Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead) as the stoner with the weed room, which is the referred to in the movie as Fort Knox because it is the most secure room in the building for the boys to take cover in from the aliens. This was a good movie, not great but I would say it is worth watching if your into SciFi movies, if you are looking for a gorefest then you will have to look somewhere else.

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Wrecked (2010)
Directed by: Michael Greenspan
Written by: Christopher Dodd

A man (Adrien Brody) wakes up and finds himself in a wrecked car, looking in the mirror he can see his face is badly broken and bloody, his leg is trapped and the door to the car will not open. Trying to get his bearings the man starts looking around, there is a body that looks like it has been thrown from the car there is also a body in the back seat. If this wasn’t bad enough the man seems to have amnesia and has no idea how he got there or if he even knows the obviously dead people around him. Searching the car or where he can reach from where he is trapped turns up a pistol that was hidden under the driver’s seat and a credit card with the name Raymond Plazzy, is the man Raymond Plazzy? Finally getting the door open and turning the radio on which still works amazingly the man is sitting outside the car when a news alert comes across the radio about a bank robbery that ended with the bank teller and a security guard being shot, one of the suspects names they say on the radio is Raymond Plazzy.

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This is when things start to get confusing and interesting, the man doesn’t remember anything so he has no idea if he is Raymond or not, or if he had anything to do with the robbery and shootings. The man’s leg is really messed up from where it was trapped, he makes some splints and rig’s them together so he can move around. If his present situation wasn’t bad enough at the moment there is also a very big Mountain Lion (or some other large feline, I am not sure.) which has already taken the other two bodies and seems to want him. He realizes that if he crawls back to the road and gets caught then his life is over, so he heads for a nice long walk down the mountain down a river, this part I really did not understand. After walking/crawling for a long time (it’s hard to tell time and days in this film because it just never tells you how long it’s been) it turns out he’s been going in circles and winds up right back at the crashed car.

The man is having hallucinations all through the movie that really annoyed me until they made sense at the very end, and there are some really good twists in the film. I really liked this movie it kind of reminded me of Buried as it is a one man film, if you’re looking for action and violence then this is not something you would enjoy, but this is a pretty good Psychological Thriller.

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Fright Night (1985)
Directed by: Tom Holland
Written by: Tom Holland

For me this was the first time getting to enjoy this classic vampire flick, I thought I should watch this first before I watch the Collin Farrell remake. This movie starts out like most 80’s teen horror movies with the high school boyfriend and girlfriend Charley (William Ragsdale) and Amy (better known to most as Marcy D’Arcy from Married with Children) getting into a stupid fight because he would rather spy on the neighbor then have sex with the girl. While watching his neighbor out his window Charley sees them moving a casket into the basement of the house next door, after asking his mom it turns out that someone just bought the house a Jerry Dandrige (much better know to me as Prince Humperdinck). Charley’s favorite TV show is Fright Night, it is kind of a late night black and white horror film marathon hosted by Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall) the great Vampire Killer. After telling his best friend Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys), who is such an annoying character and his girlfriend that he is going to go into the neighbors house that night and kill the vampire his first thought is to go to the local TV studio and try and find Mr. Vincent. Mr. Vincent says he believes in Vampires until he realizes that Charley is serious then decides the kid is insane and drives off. Amy and Evil Ed decide to track down Mr. Vincent themselves and wind up paying him to go with Charley just to help prove that Mr. Dandrige is not a Vampire hoping that Charley will just drop the idea and everything can get back to normal. When they all go inside of Mr. Dandrige’s house it becomes apparent really quickly that Charley was right all along and they must kill the Vampire.

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Oh yeah and Charley’s girlfriend Amy is identical to a painting of an old flame that the Vampire has in his house, so there is a different kind of romantic twist in this movie. I enjoyed this movie, it was cheesy and had really bad acting but that’s what a 1985 horror film should have IMO. Evil Ed is such an annoying character, you will really hate him from the first time he is introduced. The special effects were not that bad at the end with the vampire waking up out of his coffin (definitely my favorite scene) and just the ending in general. The only really bad thing I have to say is that there was not enough action and the final fight scene was way too easy and much too short. If you are one of the few who have not seen the movie then please go and watch it.

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AGAIN TO SAVE YOUR EYES FROM THE HORROR I WILL JUST PUT ILLUSTRATIONS FROM THE BOOK.

The Three Investigators and the Secret of Terror Castle (2009)
Directed by: Florian Baxmeyer
Written by: Philip LaZebnik and Aaron Mendelsohn

I wrote a short review of the last Three Investigators movie recently and even though it was horrible in every way I had to watch the second one (technically first if you go by the books) just because I am a huge fan of the original books so this review is going to be more of a comparison of the movie to the book. The best thing I have to say is that it is great that they kept the same characters from the book, Jupiter Jones, Bob Andrews, and Pete Crenshaw, but that is the only thing they kept from the book other then the title. In the book it was a Castle (thus the title), in the movie it was a large house. They went and threw another romantic childish love interest in the movie which is just wrong if you’ve read the books. In the movie they find a 8mm video tape and it turns out that it is Jupiters dead parents leaving a message that he must go to Terror Castle and finish solving the puzzle, while trying to get to the house they meet up with a backwoods sheriff and his daughter who believes that she and Bob were lovers in another lifetime.

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The sheriff is obviously trying to keep the kids from the house for a reason but the boys sneak back and enter the house, in the movie the owner of the house is long dead but he was an inventor and has rigged his entire house to run on steam power, such as a moving hallway to save you the trouble of walking, automatic doors, automatic coat rack, and even a roll top desk that opens for your convenience (it is just plain ridiculous). Eventually you find out that the Sheriff and another masked man are trying to figure out the puzzle also and that is why they want the kids to stay away, however the kids outsmart the adults and find the secret basement first and thus finding the prize. I can’t tell anymore about the ending without giving away to much, but I still say just to not watch this movie and go find the book, because everything I just wrote about the story in the movie is absolutely not in the book, none of it and that is a really good thing.

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In Bruges (2008)
Directed by: Martin McDonagh
Written by: Martin McDonagh

Two hit men, Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are on a sort of makeshift holiday in Bruges, Belgium after a hit gone wrong. While awaiting word from their boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes), Ken is interested in sightseeing and the history of the place, while Ray couldn't be more unimpressed and can't wait to just get to the bars for some pints. Ray is bored with the whole place, he’s also got a guilty conscience since it was his fault that the hit got screwed up. Ken is the older and more mature one, he enjoys art, architecture and learning about the local architecture, I think he knew what was coming so he was using this time to relax and have a brief respite from what he knows is a powder keg waiting to explode. I am not a huge Colin Farrell fan but I found his acting in this to be excellent and it was nice that he got to play an Irish character so he actually got to use his native accent. When Ray’s mistake is finally revealed it is quite a heartbreaking story, I thought that Farrell managed to portray Ray’s guilt and his attempt at redemption in a very moving way, I also love that Ray is charming, annoying, childish, and totally screwed up nut about to crack. Gleeson’s acting is also very convincing in playing the exact opposite as the quiet, calm person. He seems to be tired of the whole business of death but he knows he’s got to do what has to be done even if it means coming to blows with his evil boss Harry. When Harry is offered the Uzi his riff is hilarious about how he’s not in LA looking to go on a drive by and shoot twelve ten year olds.

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The movie has a great ending, the kind of ending I love and I think I can say that without giving away too much since I do not believe I have voiced my opinion about the type of endings I love, it is very emotional and has an interesting twist right at the end. Oh yeah I haven’t mentioned the racist midget (Dwarf) who while on a cocaine bender starts going off on a rant about how there’s a war coming between the black people and the white people and not to mention the Vietnamese people, I should probably just stop there before I get into trouble but I thought the midget did the perfect job as some great comic relief. If you haven’t watched this movie then I really suggest you do.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

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Red Cliff (2008)
Directed by: John Woo
Written by: John Woo and Khan Chan

The year is 208 AD. After years of civil war, a deathly calm has fallen of northern China. One by one, the rebel warlords have met their end under the sword of Prime Minister Cao Cao. Now, even the Han Emperor bows before his power. Yet from the south, a challenge is heard. Two leaders arise against Cao Cao's tyranny, the aging Liu Bei, and the inexperienced Sun Quan. So Cao Cao petitions the Emperor to brand these men as traders, and declare a new war against the peaceful Southlands.

I watched this movie a couple years ago and got it again thinking that I was getting the International version but wound up with the Theatrical version which I had seen before. I was disappointed but I watched it again anyways because it is just the kind of Epic Asian film with huge battles that I love, when you are watching this you might think that this was a movie written by Sun Tzu the famous writer of the Art of War (500 BC), this movie is all about military battle planning and strategies to use against your enemy. The only thing I bad I have to say about this movie is that there is only one character that you really get an emotional attachment too and that was Zhuge Liang (Takashi Kaneshiro from House of Flying Daggers and more).

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Tony Leung (from Hero) did play an excellent part as Viceroy Zhou Yu, all the acting was really well done but again I only felt connected with the one character. The movie is all about the Great North trying to take over the peaceful and very beautiful south land’s, Cao Cao is the great and undefeated General of the North who is sent south with over eight hundred thousand soldiers again a much much smaller army in the south. The main battle takes place at Red Cliff, this is where Zhuge Liang who is the master military advisor shows how talented he is and that he can predict the weather by knowing history (weather patterns) and paying attention to the movement and shape of the clouds, Liang uses this knowledge to try to change the odds in the favor of the greatly out numbered south. Anyone who likes epic medieval war films I think would really like this movie.

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Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970)
Directed by: Joseph Sargent
Written by: James Bridges and D.F. Jones

This is another example of a movie I should have watched years ago but anyways. At the beginning of the movie we learn that the United States has completed there self-sufficient, impregnable, impervious, A.I computer called Colossus, the Brainchild of Dr. Charles Forbin (Braeden). The purpose of this computer is to automate the defense system for the United States thereby completely remove the annoying human element from the decision making process regarding nuclear weapons. The thinking behind that is that we can’t trust ourselves with that kind of power because humans are volatile, erratic, and usually use their emotions to make decisions rather than making logical decisions. When they flip the switch on Colossus they are basically opening Pandora’s Box, Colossus discovers that the Russians have also came up with their own version called Guardian and the two computers begin communicating with each other and eventually combine there computing resources to become one ever-growing, faster learning god like mechanical entity that decides that humans have their uses but should not be left in charge of managing themselves or the planet, so the computer decides to take control of everything and uses nuclear annihilation as it’s means to an end. Dr. Forbin must find a way of stopping Colossus before the computer can turn the human race into slaves, once Colossus realizes this he keeps the Dr. locked in his room unless absolutely needed, but is nice enough to give the good Dr. some female companionship when Colossus decides he needs it.

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I thought this was a really good movie, considering that this film came out in 1970 it seems like maybe this was a catalyst for the Terminator or Matrix films, in that the system created by humans surpasses it’s programming and reaches the point of self realization, and basically making humans it’s bitch. If you haven’t seen this movie then I highly recommend watching this.

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Before the Fall (2008)
Directed by: F. Javier Gutierrez
Written by: Juan Velarde

This is a Pre-Apacolyptic movie, and a kind of interesting one at that, the movie starts with the people of a small village learning about the meteor coming towards Earth and nobody can do anything about it, so they say everyone will be dead in a few days. But the Apocalyptic part of it only takes like five percent of the movie, the rest of the story lies somewhere else. When all the panic from the meteor starts getting everybody moving the police abandon their post allowing everyone to escape from prison, this normally would be just part of the ordeal but the main character Ale and his mother have something else to worry about. Ale’s brother Tomas put a man in prison a number of years back and the man always swore he would kill Tomas and his family, Ale’s mother finds out about the prison breaks and knows this is going to happen. Ale’s mother goes to see her grandkids and spend some time with them before the end of the world, the kids do not know about the news and Tomas their father is out of town. After the death of one of the last remaining family members Ale knows that the convict is close and goes into fortifying there little house to keep the kids safe. The convict does show up and finds out that Tomas is out of town and not there so he decides to try and pick off the kids and Ale one by one.

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This was a good movie and a good story but the world is coming to an end and they only bring it up at the beginning of the movie, so I think it just goes without saying that the ending to this movie sucks and just leaves you wanting to know more

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Harsh Times (2005)
Directed by: David Ayer
Written by: David Ayer

This is another one of those movies I watched when I was really faded so I decided to watch it again seeing as I don’t remember anything from my first viewing. I really liked this movie I am a big fan of Christian Bale and Freddy Rodriguez. Jim (Christian Bale) is an ex army ranger who was honorably discharged trying to find a job as a cop in Los Angeles, his best friend Mike (Freddy Rodriguez) is also looking for a job just to make his girlfriend happy, but when these two get together the job hunting goes out the window and they just spend the day drinking and smoking. You can tell from the beginning that Jim is the Alpha Male in this movie, also that he is quite crazy and always getting himself into crazy and sometimes dangerous situations. They never really say in the film but I am guessing that Jim is dealing with PTSD after coming back from Iraq, this explains a lot about the way he behaves and some of the flashbacks that happen during the film. Jim does not get a job with the police but instead get’s offered a job with the DEA and is going to have to take a drug test, the scene with the saline solution and the turkey bayster just made me hurt all over. After Jim gets the job he wants to take Mike and another of his friends down to Mexico to see his girlfriend and get a couple nights of partying under their belt before they both have to get serious with their new jobs. This is where it just starts going crazy, Jim seriously starts to lose his mind and Mike is barely able to control him, I really can’t say anymore about the ending without giving away to much.

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I really liked this movie I thought it was great acting by Christian Bale and especially Freddy Rodriguez. I wish they had of said why he was honorably discharged out of the army maybe that would have answered the question of why Jim is so messed up. American Psycho was definitely where Christian Bale got to show off how great he is at playing a psycho but Harsh Times gave Bale another chance to show what he can do to make you (the audience) scared about what he is going to do next which happens in quite a few scenes in this movie. If you haven’t seen this it does not matter what Genre you are into everyone should watch this.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

"Harsh Times" was worth watching solely for this Christian Bale quote:

"Damn, those are bad-ass kicks, dawg. You're lucky you got little bitch feet, or
else I'd be stompin' around in them mother f*ckers."

:p

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Dumplings (2004)
Directed by: Fruit Chan
Written by: Pik Wah Li

A wealthy woman, Mrs. Lee is losing her good looks and she fears her husband as well. To try and boost her looks and self-esteem she tries to find Aunt Mei (Bai Ling) a local chef, Mei cooks special dumplings which she claims to help you look more youthful. From the beginning Mrs. Lee is aware that Mei uses unborn fetuses “imported” from the abortion clinic where Mei used to work. Mrs. Lee keeps seeking more powerful youthful remedies and turns out she is in luck, Mei performs a black market abortion on a girl five months pregnant who was impregnated by her father. There was a really disturbing part when Mei reveals that she has done more than 30,000 abortions in China.
Mrs. Lee get’s a look in the kitchen and sees the fetus, being initially disgusted and leaving (rookie mistake, you never look in the kitchen at a Chinese restaurant) but wanting to look young she later comes back for the delicious fetus dumplings which Mrs. Lee devours, and has an amazing affect on her libido making her husband temporarily happy. There is a disturbing flashback where they show the young girl and her mother walking, the girl collapses on the road and the mother can only watch as the girl whispers “I don’t want to die” then slips away (never really sais but I am guessing it’s from a ruptured uterus from the abortion).

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When Mrs. Lee starts smelling like fish in front of her friends she gets really embarrassed and immediately calls Mei, Mei tells her that the inbred fetuses are the most potent causing the smell. Mr. Lee overhears the conversation and goes to see Mei himself, he decides to try a dumpling for himself to see if it works and then has some crazy sex with Mei finding out that she is really sixty-four years old (but she looks like Bai Ling) and credits her youthfulness to her cannibalism. Mrs. Lee realizes that she cannot stay young without more and more of Mei’s dumplings, however by now Mei is now Mr. Lee’s mistress and ignores any pleas for more dumplings from Mrs. Lee. Cutting to the apartment of the girl with the inbred fetus the police break in and find that the mother has stabbed her sick husband nearly to death. I did not make the connection but in the movie somehow the police while searching the apartment they find out Mei’s identity and raid her apartment but Mei has already fled. The ending is disturbing (not that the rest of the movie isn’t) and has a twist ending that I thought was good and fitting for the movie.

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The Man From Earth (2007)
Directed by: Richard Schenkman
Written by: Jerome Bixby

As professor John Oldman (David Smith) is getting ready to leave town after being there for only ten years all of his good friends, a biologist, a archeologist, a psychiatrist and other professor’s come by to see him off. Not with the best judgment he starts to propose a topic of a person starting off as a caveman and not dying, what would that person experience and how would that affect everything. This movie gets into a lot of religious discussion as John sais he was a caveman and just kept living, eventually studying with Buddha and then becoming whom we know today as Jesus Christ. There is much more to the story then that according to John, he goes on to tell that history changes the more and more stories are passed down and rewritten and so on. The part about him being Jesus was really interesting to me because it was just such an interesting thing to think about, he said that the Bible got it all wrong and that he was just doing the stuff Buddha had taught him, basically being a good person, he says that the Sermon on the Mount was not that big of a deal, a few people were there but most of them left. John cannot scar so when asked to see the nail holes in his hands that is his answer also that they did not use nails but rope to tie him up, the discussion can go on forever if you ask me.

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John has no proof to give anyone so the movie is really just a long and interesting philosophical debate about whether or not this is even possible. The ending is amazing and sad, this film really leaves you with stuff to think about and discuss with others, probably getting yourself into a huge argument but that’s just how good I thought this was, it is worth it.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Nice review of Man From Earth. I actually picked that up on DVD a few years ago for a couple of pounds but still not got round to watching it. Will need to do so one of these days

Kingdom of Heaven. With the cast they had here, it could've been amazing. But it fell kinda short.. I give it a 2.8/5

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

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Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010)
Directed by: Hark Tsui
Written by: Kuo-fu Chen and Jialu Zhang

Wu Zetian is about to become China’s first Empress and is building a giant standing Buddha that will be completed for the inauguration. Very weird murders start happening where people start catching fire and burning from the inside out, Wu Zetian is forced to bring in the best detective even though he is in prison for treason because he was against Wu becoming Empress. Detective Dee (Lau) has to put aside his feeling about the empire and try and solve the mystery of the Phantom Flame. There are some excellent fight scenes and some of your usual bizarre Asian characters thrown in such as an 6 armed enemy which turns out to be three people and can split into three and go back and fight as one person when it wants, definitely my favorite enemy and fight scene in the movie. The talking Deer and fighting Deer are also interesting and kind of disturbing if you’re an animal lover because Detective Dee has to fight the Deer in one scene.

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You find out that there is more to this mystery then the first impression you get, there are different factions who want the throne and ones that strictly oppose Wu Zetian from taking the throne. The tag-line says Crouching Tiger meets Sherlock Holmes and that is a really good description that I can’t say anything bad about, if you like Asian martial arts and crazy enemy’s and weapons then this is a really great movie, I liked this a lot and suggest this to all fans of this Genre.

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The Horseman (2008)
Directed by: Steven Kastrissios
Written by: Steven Kastrissios

I randomly put this movie on my Netflix Queue because it sounded like something I would be interested in and I am really glad that I did. The story starts out with Christian (Peter Marshall) beating the crap out of someone with a crowbar, taking a video, covering the room and guy with gasoline and setting everything on fire. You quickly learn that the video was a underground porn movie that his daughter was involved in right before she was killed, the rest of the film is Christian traveling around New Zealand tracking down everyone that was involved in the film. Along the way he befriends Alice who is a down on her luck teenager that he tries to help and protect by giving her fatherly type advice.

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This is a fairly low budget movie, you can tell because of the way they filmed the torture and fighting scenes, it worked for this movie because it left more to your imagination. Even though the budget was low the brutality of the torture and fighting is very realistic and in certain scenes you almost feel sorry for the bad guys until Christian finds out the rest of the story then you find yourself really wanting Christian to just kill everyone that had anything to do with his daughter. Sadly what happened to his daughter is probably not far from the truth that happens to a lot of young girls in real life. Christian is a ass kicking character but not in a cheesy way where he kills all these people and does not get a scratch, he gets his face kicked in during probably half the movie along with the bad guys. This movie is brutal but if you like that kind of stuff like me then you should watch this.

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Feast (2005)
Directed by: John Gulager
Written by: Marcus Dunstan, and Patrick Melton

Honeykid brought this movie to my attention, but until I watched it I had no idea what this was about or anything about the story at all, also HK did not mention that this movie has Henry Rollins in it. The movie starts in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere and starts introducing the characters you will be watching for the next little bit. I thought I would put the introductions the same way they do in the movie, it’s not an original idea for a movie to do this to the characters but I liked the humorous swing that they put on these so I apologize for the extra room it is going to take up, but let’s get started…

Name: Bozo
Job: Not Likely
Occupation: Town Jackass
Life Expectancy: Dead by Dawn

Name: Harley Mom
Fun Fact: Robbing Bar in Ten Minutes
Life Expectancy: Wild Card

Name: Hot Wheels
Occupation: Selling Fireworks to 7th Graders
Life Expectancy: They Wouldn’t Kill A Cripple, Would They?

Name: Coach (my idol Henry Rollins)
Occupation: Motivational Speaker
Reputation: The Poor Man’s Tony Robbins
Life Expectancy: Stay Far, Far Away

Name: Grandma
Fun Fact: Blew Mick Jagger… Recently
Life Expectancy: May Be Dead Already

Name: Jason Mewes (it is Jason Mewes aka Jay from Jay and Silent Bob)
Occupation: Actor
Life Expectancy: Already Surpassed Expectations

Name: Beer Guy (Judah Friedlander – 30 Rock)
Occupation: Beer Guy & Part Time Host at Red Lobster
Life Expectancy: Losers and Dorks go First… He’s Both

Name: Bartender
Fun Fact: Shot 4 Times, Stabbed 6 Times, Bit by 1 Squirrel
Life Expectancy: Horrifying Death in 70 Minutes

Name: Tuffy
Occupation: Career Waitress
Job: Single Mom
Life Expectancy: Expects Nothing From Life

Name: Vet
Fun Facts: Has Never Had Fun
Life Expectancy: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Name: Bossman
Vibe: Mean, Stoned and Horny
Life Expectancy: Regular or Extra Crispy

Name: Honey Pie
Occupation: Actress/Singer/Dancer/Model
Fun Fact: Dying To Get Out Of Town
Life Expectancy: May Get Her Wish

Name: Cody
Occupation: Tax Break
Skill: Can Fit Into Tight Spaces
Life Expectancy: A Wonderful, Full Life

After the lineup of the films main characters who are all obviously locals and regulars at the bar some action starts to happen and in pops…

Name: Hero
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Life Expectancy: Pretty F*cking Good

Hero charges in with a gun (completely Bruce Campbell Evil Dead 2 style) in one hand and a dead Alien/Monster in the other telling everybody that a storm from hell is about to come down on the bar, upon hearing this then exactly that starts happening. We start off with a lot of blood (always a good beginning), an amputation and a couple of people get shot by accident, wow these people that it just spent the first bit of the movie taking all the trouble to introduce are starting to drop like flies already, also and I don’t consider this a spoiler since it’s so close to the beginning of the movie but the one just introduced as Hero immediately dies right after the introduction. Just before they get the first alien taken care of something I found disturbing and funny happened and the alien starts dry humping the stuffed Deer head on the wall. 15 minutes into the movie and someone else pops in uninvited and another introduction takes place…

Name: Heroine
Occupation: Wear Tanktop, Tote Shotgun, Save Day.
Life Expectancy: Hopefully Better Than The Last Hero

Even with all the guns that everyone seems to have in the bar they do not seem to really do any good against the monsters, people continue dying, seriously I thought they were going to run out of actors 30 minutes in. There is some comedy to balance out the horror for example the monster puking green stuff mixed with maggots, ok it’s gross humor but that’s the kind of movie this is, oh yeah and the monsters having sex on the hood of the car and then immediately after dropping a baby onto the ground, or slamming a monsters penis in a door and then cutting it off, yeah it’s pretty much all dark comedy. Well now I thought I was through with this but then it’s time for another introduction…

Name: Heroine 2
Occupation: Childless Mother
Fun Fact: Dealing With The Loss Fairly Well
Life Expectancy: Let’s All Hope For The Best This Time

I could not find a picture of Henry Rollins in the Pink Sweats so I just thought I'd put an awesome picture of him on here instead.
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As with all movies where a group of people are trapped in a confined space throughout the movie everyone starts having personal problems or personality problems with other people leading to violence amongst themselves, makes sense to save the monsters the trouble and just do it to yourselves. The movie is great, tons of blood and gore throughout, enough to please any horror/monster movie fan. And I have to give this a really good rating just for Henry Rollins wearing a pair of very Pink sweatpants then having his head used as a battering ram. Thanks HK for making me aware of this movie I really thought it was great.

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

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The Football Factory (2004)
Directed by: Nick Love
Written by: Nick Love and John King

So being an American it is hard for me to grasp the point of these football organizations or firms I believe they called themselves, also what is even more mind blowing to me is that these firms or whatever they are called actually exist to some extent, not saying that this movie is a documentary. I watched Green Street Hooligans a while back and when I started this film I immediately was reminded of it, the main difference in my opinion was Green Street Hooligans was more of a youthful thing whereas The Football Factory is more grown up and older people that are involved in these “firms”. As I said I am American so if I am getting this wrong that they really exist just let me know and I will correct my mistake.

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I am a big fan of Danny Dyer who plays the main character who is going through something big in his life, everyone telling him that he needs to grow up and stop kicking peoples face’s in. Dyer’s character starts thinking he is having some kind of breakdown because he starts seeing things on TV and Billboards that he thinks are talking directly about him, also he keeps having the same nightmare over and over where he is the one getting kicked in the face. The movie is basically building up to the big match between their team (it never sais exactly where this takes place so I have no idea) and their arch rivals, basically planning how they are going to beat the piss out of the other people that really is what this movie is about. There is a sad kind of side story about Dyer’s grandfather and his best friend, they had went through WWII together and bean best friends ever since. They have plans to move to Australia and live out there few remaining days drinking and enjoying the girls in bikinis. This was a good movie but just boggled my mind that people would actually go through all the trouble just to beat the crap out of another group of people over a football match, still I suggest if you have not seen this then you should watch it.

Memories of Murder (2003)

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I have been trying to figure out how to sum up a brief summary of this movie as well as my feelings about this movie. I will start with the beginning of the movie, 1986 South Korea's first serial killer strikes and a dead body is found in a ditch in I guess what you would call the backwoods of South Korea. I am kind of bored with the movie already, there is no blood in a serial killer movie and the story is just starting off really slow. An investigator from Seoul comes to the small town to help out the police with the obvious disaproval of the local police. I thought it was interesting but I am not sure how true of how they depicted police interigations in South Korea at the time, but honestly I would completely believe that is not far from the truth, I think that American police wish that they could get away with doing some of that roughing up stuff sometimes. The interigations are quite brutal and basically they kept you in the basement at the Police Headquarters with no food or water, sometimes hanging you upside down until you confess to the crime wether you comitted it or not, so yeah it's not the most effective way to go about that.
Murders continue to happen and patterns start to emerge one of which is that the women that are killed are always wearing red shirts or tops, also that it is always raining and the same song is always requested on the radio just before the killings happen. They try to lure him out on rainy night using a female police officer dressed in a red dress on a rainy night, nothing happens, something that is a continuing theme it seems in this movie. I really wanted to like this movie but it was just way to long and drawn out, and the fact that a lot of this film is just botched police work and interogations that go nowhere. The movie is way over 2 hours long and should have been condensed down to 90+ minutes IMO.

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I probably would have enjoyed this movie much more but the DVD that I got was dubbed which I always hate, and because of thin walls and annoying neighbors I had to use the subtitles anyways, normally there would be nothing wrong with that except that the subtitles did not match the dubbed dialoge and that just annoyed me so much. If you are going to watch this movie then make sure you do not get a dubbed copy.


The DVD copy I got.

I can see that you and I have different movie tastes :nope:

Re: akatemple of reviews
 

Seriously the dubbed part killed it for me and I meant to put it in the review but I was really disappointed in the ending, but being dubbed and the subtitles not matching the dubbed speech I may have gotten it completely wrong.