View Full Version : Movie Reviews by Mose
Rather than start numerous threads of my brief reviews I thought I'd consolidate them all into this one thread. I am always trying to improve as a film critic so please feel free to comment and/or criticize grammar, structure, etc. I'm interested in any/all constructive criticism so please don’t hold back
Before I begin, here’s a brief paragraph from my website to let people know where I’m coming from.
Whether it's a new release or a classic from the vault, Toefuzz.com has you covered. Our system of brief, or capsule, movie reviews recognizes the value of time and is geared towards conveying our thoughts on a particular film in a brief and concise manner. We will always consider ourselves to be movie lovers first and foremost and realize that time spent reading and writing reviews only detracts from the time available for watching movies, and isn't that what life's all about?
Garden State
Zach Braff's screenwriting and directorial debut stars himself as Andrew Largeman, a young man living in L.A. whose career as an actor has been somewhat stunted by the drug induced haze he finds himself living in. It’s not until he meets the charming, self-effacing Sam (Natalie Portman) that he begins to realize there is more to life than placidly getting by. Featuring a stellar Graduate style soundtrack, Garden State quickly establishes itself as one of my generation’s most auspicious coming of age films and one that is likely to be “the beginning of something really big”.
8/10
MovieMaker5087
01-09-05, 10:56 PM
Whether it's a new release or a classic from the vault, Toefuzz.com has you covered. Our system of brief, or capsule, movie reviews recognizes the value of time and is geared towards conveying our thoughts on a particular film in a brief and concise manner. We will always consider ourselves to be movie lovers first and foremost and realize that time spent reading and writing reviews only detracts from the time available for watching movies, and isn't that what life's all about?
10 bucks says a little Jewish man made that slogan up for you.
MovieMaker5087
01-09-05, 11:10 PM
A little Jewish man?
Nevermind.
Uncle Rico
01-10-05, 01:32 PM
I saw Garden State. Very Good movie.
Uncle Rico
01-10-05, 01:43 PM
I love the name Rico :)
Why Thank You. Since you love that about me could you give me a positive feedback report?
chicagofrog
01-10-05, 02:56 PM
now THAT is disinterested love!
Dang reputation whores ;)
Mean Streets
It's odd how easy it is to review films generally regarded as being unimportant (Billy Madison, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, etc) and how difficult it can be to review important works such as Scorsese's Mean Streets... Of course things are even more difficult given the rather passionate Scorsese addicts who frequent this site :) I'll quit rambling and get to the review.
One of Martin Scorsese’s earlier works, Mean Streets brilliantly deals with the problems faced by a group of low level hoodlums in New York City, paying particular attention to spiritual Mafioso Charlie Cappa (Harvey Keitel). Believing true penance comes on the streets and not in church, Charlie attempts to protect those around him who may not be conscious of the dangers created by their disruptive behavior. And while Keitel plays the films central character well, few would argue that Mean Streets belongs to anybody other than Robert De Niro. His breakthrough performance as Johnny Boy combines with Scorsese’s superb camera work to create a deprived world populated by rich characters living amongst a backdrop of crime and violence. This deeply personal film delves into now familiar Scorsese themes such as redemption, love, and violence with such aplomb that we often forget this is essentially Scorsese’s directorial debut and one that should not be missed by anyone who considers themselves a student of film.
MovieMaker5087
01-10-05, 08:15 PM
Dang reputation whores ;)
You tell 'em.
Uncle Rico
01-10-05, 08:21 PM
Im sorry im pretty desperate because people like to hate me. But Garden State was my third favorite movie this year.
chicagofrog
01-11-05, 07:52 AM
oh, you're green again!
Tea Barking
01-11-05, 09:19 AM
Reputation points won't make people like you.
Nice little reviews there mose.
chicagofrog
01-12-05, 08:47 AM
some were born green, nothing's gonna change that, you're right, Teabarkin'
:)
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
I will always remember Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey as being the film where the world’s finest thespian, Keanu Reeves, perfected a little something I like to call the Keanu Face’ (blank look on his eyes, mouth open, drool hanging out). Those of you who have yet to witness this masterpiece of self-control had best run to your local video store as soon as possible and prepare to be astonished at the intensity of Keanu’s glare as he and his heterosexual life mate (nod to Kevin Smith) travel through heaven, hell, and time in order to bring peace to the world via their crappy music.
Hehe, The Bill and Ted stuff is so goofy, but they pay tribute to "The Seventh Seal" in the film, so I laughed at that. Good Megaseth song in their too. Cool review :)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
I will be the first to admit that Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a bad movie. That, however, shouldn’t prevent it from being enjoyable, providing you watch it from the proper perspective. Those expecting Shakespeare will be surprisingly disappointed. Those of us just looking for mindless entertainment are likely to be rewarded with beaucoup explosions, beautiful women, and plot holes the size of Liberace’s ass, all requirements for a proper popcorn flick. In fact, Apocalypse often combines gratuitous violence and sexy women in a glorious celebration of the female form by accentuating certain assets as only gun holsters and 6-inch f-me pumps can! Of course it doesn’t hurt that the females in question (primarily Sienna Guillory but also Milla Jovovich) happen to be two incredibly fun to look at women.
6/10
After Hours
I tend to not enjoy stories revolving around one character being constantly barraged by unfortunate circumstances so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I didn’t particularly care for Martin Scorsese’s strange late night odyssey through downtown Manhattan. Griffen Dune stars as a bored word processor whose life is turned upside down by three very strange women over the course of a single night. The cinematography, music, acting, etc. are all top notch, but I never really cared about the story nor did I care for the central character. The cast of character he encounters was interesting, but the shtick became repetitive rather quickly. Overall a disappointing film from one of my favorite directors.
5/10
House of Flying Daggers
Being a fan of the Wuxia genre (loosely translated as martial arts chivalry) and director Zhang Yimou’s previous foray into the world of stylized kung-fu, I had high hopes for “House of Flying Daggers” and midway through the film I had not been disappointed. Its gorgeous cinematography and outstanding cast (led by Takeshi Kaneshiro and the beautiful Ziyi Zhang) elicited obvious comparisons to “Hero” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. Unfortunately these comparisons soon faded from memory as “House of Flying Daggers” outstanding production values and Zhang’s brilliant use of color were rapidly overshadowed by a plot that rang hollow and an ending that defined the word ridiculous.
5/10
Lance McCool
01-17-05, 03:07 PM
Wait, you feel that Resident Evil: Apocalypse was better than After Hours?
I was wondering if anyone was reading these :)
I can't imagine myself ever arguing that a Paul Anderson movie has better production values than a Scorsese flick, but it's certainly within the realm of possibility that one of his films could be more entertaining, which is the case here. In general I try to rate films based on how entertained I was, not how well made the film was.
Does that make any sense?
Lance McCool
01-17-05, 04:31 PM
So you're saying Apocalypse was more entertaining than After Hours... :nope:
Yup... I didn't really care for After Hours and am getting some slack for it in the Worst Scorsese flick thread. I've resigned myself to watching it again though b/c I was in a crappy mood when I watched it the first time :)
Apocalypse was cheesy film making at its finest... Not to mention the unbelievably hot Sienna Guillory... a lady who single handedly made the film worth watching :)
Lance McCool
01-17-05, 10:50 PM
Oh man, I've been staring at your avatar for like 20 minutes...
Hmmm... typically I only have that affect on women :)
Bad I know, I just couldn't resist!
Lance McCool
01-17-05, 10:58 PM
No it's good, just a little bit odd.
Yeah... it's been messin' with my head as well. My toddler was showing me how to type the other day and stared at it for a few seconds. Miraculously he didn't want to type anymore, but he did go hit the dog... coincidence?
The Manchurian Candidate (2004) 7/10
Proving once again that a boy’s best friend is his mother, Jonathan Demme and team score a surprising hit by remaking the 1962 classic, The Manchurian Candidate. Starring Liev Schreiber and Denzel Washington, this well paced, character driven thriller is meant to be savored like fine wine as a series of strange events and conflicting memories surrounding a “Lost Patrol” in 1991’s Operation Desert Storm unfold. And while the social and political commentary oftentimes feels forced and/or silly, I’m confident in saying Jonathan Demme’s remake has adroitly stepped outside the shadow of its predecessor and into the realm of respectability, something which most remakes are not able to do.
The Iron Giant 9/10
Director Brad Bird’s beautiful parable of friendship and the power of personal choice tells the moving story of a young boy and an Iron Giant from unknown origins. Bird’s conscious decision to use traditional two dimensional animation works splendidly and gives the film a more realistic and classic feel given it takes place in the late 1950’s. Filled with both heart and message, The Iron Giant is one of the best animated films in recent years and one that families can watch together, over and over and over again… at least if the youngsters have their way!
Friday Night Lights 6/10
This above average sports drama overcomes its innate Billy Bob Thorntonness and cliché ridden plot to provide a gritty glimpse into the life of football obsessed Odessa Texas as Coach Gaines (Billy Bob Thornton) attempts to lead his team to the State Championship game. Solid performances from a relatively unknown cast and Peter Berg’s directing highlight the film, but it’s the final thirty minutes, which the crew over at NFL films filmed that elevate the film above its contemporaries.
Face/Off 7/10
An exercise in the wonderfully excessive stylized violence director John Woo is known for, Face/Off overcomes its biggest failing, the ridiculously miscast John Travolta and delivers a fun story of two men, one an FBI agent, the other a terrorist for hire who trade identities and blow a lot of things up. Throw in some beautiful women and an incredibly implausible, though thoroughly entertaining and surprisingly involved story and you have yourself a fun way to kill a few hours.
The Village 6/10
Yet again people have been so blinded by their need for another Sixth Sense they have completely missed the point of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. This tale of an isolated village and the truths that lay beyond its borders is more concerned with a message of not being able to hide from pain under the guise of clinging to an innocence that never existed. And while I will be the first to admit that The Village was not a great film, Shyamalan’s directorial eye is able to capture a convincing and well acted world filled with genuine moments of suspense without relying on fancy computer aided effects, something most directors today seem unable to do.
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle 9/10
Updating the traditional stoner fairytale made famous by Cheech and Chong, John Cho and Kal Penn go on an inspired adventure comprised of various sketch comedy pieces in search of the only thing that can satisfy their weed induced munchies, White Castle burgers. Their self-awareness and intelligence raise the ante on the traditional racial and stoner jokes prevalent throughout the film, as does the greatest cameo in the history of cinema, courtesy of Mr. Doogie Howser himself, Neil Patrick Harris. Let’s just hope that director David Leiner continues to make this type of low brow comedy so those of us who, like Harold and Kumar, don’t take ourselves too seriously can always have a guilty pleasure or two to fall back on in times of boredom.
Catwoman 1/10
Director Pitof’s arrogance at believing himself worthy of a single moniker is exceeded only by the dumbness of his feature film debut. Catwoman’s insipid story of revenge is populated by annoying characters, ridiculous plot points, and the same type of meaningless female empowerment crap spewed by today’s mindless pop divas. This exploration into the dark underworld of home beauty products is so bad it somehow manages to make one of the world’s most beautiful women seem unattractive, a big no no in my book. I can think of only one place for a movie this bad, and that’s downstairs in the kitty-litter, though I don’t think I’d subject Harvey (our cat) to this type of cruel and unusual punishment!
The Forgotten 4/10
Julianne Moore stars as a delusional mother unable to let go of her possibly non-existent eight-year-old son’s death. What begins as an intriguing thriller soon erodes into a repetitive series of “Ah, they’re after us, let’s run down this dark alley and hope they are too slow to catch us” chase scenes and a plot twist so contrived it stinks of being written by someone who wrote himself into a corner and couldn’t find any plausible way out. Its ridiculous story does a disservice to both the actors and the audience, though we shouldn’t be too surprised given the crap being released nowadays.
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington 10/10
Frank Capra’s picturesque view of America has never shone brighter as Jimmy Stewart plays an idealistic young Senator who must filibuster against a corrupt political machine to clear his name. And while Stewart is excellent, it’s his secretary (played by the lovely Jean Arthur) who steals the film. Her quick witted charm and jaded nature highlight the corruption enveloping Washington and prove her to be a brilliant comedic actress. As relevant today as when it was created, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is a true classic, meant to viewed by all who love cinema and appreciate the mediums ability stir the emotions within us.
Richard Hell
01-23-05, 12:21 AM
Hey mose where is your forum?
Don't have one... I did on previous versions of my site and some of the folks here were even kind enough to help me out (Holden, SB, etc), but at this point in my life I really can't justify the time required to start up a board... especially not when there's a great board like MOFO available.
Richard Hell
01-23-05, 01:07 AM
Same here but I finall have a little atraction on mine. Maybe three people you, I and someone else. :p
Mean Girls 6/10
Written by Saturday Night Live’s Tina Fey, this surprisingly amusing film stars Lindsey Lohan as a home school student raised in Africa yet unprepared for the wilds of America’s high schools. Fey’s script, while entertaining, lacks the fortitude necessary to go for the jugular (like the teen angst classic Heathers) and is content to wrap things up in a cute manner, one that most of Ms. Lohan’s fans will find acceptable. Fortunately enough mean spirited fun remains to make the film worth watching by those of us outside her typical target demographic, aka teenage girls.
This is Spinal Tap 9/10
The original and perhaps greatest mockumentary film, This is Spinal Tap chronicles the disastrous exploits of Britain’s loudest band as they attempt a comeback tour of the United States in the fall of 1983. With an obvious tongue-in-cheek nod to Scorsese’s masterpiece The Last Waltz, director Marti DiBergi, (Rob Reiner) uses back-stage scenes, archival footage and interviews with the three principle members of the band: lead singer David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Christoper Guest), and bassist Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) to paint a gentle, though scathing picture of what it means to be a geriatric rock star. Surprisingly relevant today, This is Spinal Tap created a formula that has often been imitated, though never equaled.
Lance McCool
01-24-05, 05:52 PM
http://www.haro-online.com/stuff/thisiss2.jpg
:yup: :cool: :yup:
The Color of Money 6/10
It’s been 25 years since Fast Eddie Felson (Paul Newman), one of the screen’s greatest characters, last picked up a pool cue. Now retired from the game he earns his living selling liquor to various pool halls and investing in talent, such as a brash youngster named Vincent (Tom Cruise). The two form a rocky partnership and hit the road hustling their way to a nine-ball tournament in Atlantic City.
Arguably director Martin Scorsese’s most commercial picture, The Color of Money exhibits very little of his trademark style and comes across as being a necessary stepping stone to bigger and more personally important projects for Marty. And while Scorsese, along with current box-office superstar Tom Cruise may get the name recognition in today’s ‘what have you done for me lately world’, its Paul Newman proving he’s still one of the coolest cats around who steals this clichéd, though entertaining 80’s film.
Uncle Buck 6/10
One of John Candy’s better films, Uncle Buck has the portly comedian playing a childless bachelor forced to baby-sit his brother’s children for “no more than a week” during a family emergency. Light hearted comedy ensues as the affable Candy learns the ropes of home and child management, the latter involving most of the film’s best comedic bits. Featuring giant pancakes, a phallic power drill, and a not-yet-annoying Macaulay Culkin, Uncle Buck is another in a long line of solid John Hughes comedies and helps to remind us just how much fun it was to watch John Candy.
I'm trying to go back to work tomorrow so the pace of reviews should slow down :)
Damn! I queued up Rush this morning and am having a terrible time listening to them without laughing after watching Christopher Guest and Co. sing Stonehenge yesterday :)
Alien vs. Predator 2/10
What begins as a guilty pleasure soon becomes yet another dumb sequel that never should have been made as a bunch of no name actors and genre great Lance Henriksen investigate a strange heat signal buried beneath 2,000 feet of Antarctic ice. They soon become trapped in a strange interstellar coming of age ceremony between guys in rubber suits and a computer generated alien whose climactic finale reminds me of nothing more than Beldar fighting the Garthak in Coneheads, never a good sign for what is supposedly one of the top action flicks of the year.
Richard Hell
01-25-05, 10:15 PM
Good review,mose.I also thought the movie was rushed and crappy. I was thinking about makeing a music review one for the (my) site.
A music review what for your site?
AboveTheClouds
01-25-05, 10:30 PM
I felt compelled to give you positive rep for these reviews... very well done. Keep it Up
Richard Hell
01-25-05, 10:35 PM
A music review what for your site?
Yeah Ill work on it to night and post it tommorow
I felt compelled to give you positive rep for these reviews... very well done. Keep it Up
Thanks Wiz! Is the positive review b/c you enjoy them or b/c you admire my perseverance?
AboveTheClouds
01-26-05, 12:19 AM
A lot of column A and a little from column B :)
Sweet :) Just glad to know somebody is reading them!
Caitlyn
01-27-05, 05:25 PM
Great Job Mose… I thought about your take on Keanu Reeves the other night when I was watching The Gift and caught myself watching for the drool… his - not mine… :p :D
Play Misty For Me 3/10
Play Misty For Me starts slow, slows down a bit in the middle, and stays slow through the supposedly twisting end, though it did receive a rating of R, for retarded. Of course it was made in the 70’s, a time that featured more patient audiences without our need for instant gratification, but that’s still no an excuse for the rest of the film’s faults. Donna Mills’ 70’s chick mullet, Clint Eastwood’s understated man-with-no name crappy radio voice, the long drawn-out love scenes, Mr. Eastwood’s inability to change the locks after the crazy chick uses her spare key to enter his house and hack up Grandma Huxtable, and the pansification of Dirty Harry in the ‘climactic’ finale are unforgivable sins in my book. Still, the flick featured an excellent soundtrack, a great over-the-top performance by Jessica Walter, and some solid slasher scenes, but it’s a case of too little too late for my man Clint’s directorial debut.
Holden Pike
01-27-05, 10:14 PM
You are insane. Play Misty... is great. :yup:
Garrett
01-27-05, 10:31 PM
I wouldn't say it's great, but I'd certainly give it higher than a 3/10.
I just didn't really care for it... seemed like a waste of talent. The movie is 108 minutes long and with the exception of two scenes nothing really happens. I was all set to give it a 4 until The Man With No Name got his butt kicked in the final scene... What was up with that?!? I expect more than a less than average thriller/slasher flick from Clint Eastwood.
What did you two like about it?
Thanks Mose for all the reviews, I don't care if Keanu can't act :randy:
Thanks for the praise all! As I said before, it's nice to know people are reading them and more importantly enjoying them!
BTW, I've been pinned to the top of the forums... I feel like Naven Johnson when the new phone books arrived... I'm Somebody!!!!
THX 1138 7/10
Lucas’ Orwellian debut stars Robert Duvall as THX 1138, a seemingly average guy in a dystopic future where pharmacology is used as a means to control the masses. His roommate (Maggie McOmie) stops his sedation, gets naked, and the two are soon arrested. The first film for Francis Ford Coppola's American Zoetrope, THX 1138 uses stunning visuals to investigate themes now considered common to the dystopic genre. And while the narrative is at best sketchy, the subdued performances from a solid cast and the sheer fun at seeing the origin of much of Star Wars (mainly sound fX, but someone does comment about a Wookie, keep an ear open for it!) more than make up for any shortcomings from this surprisingly artsy debut film from one of America’s most commercially successful directors.
Undisputed 6/10
Featuring the worst rendition of the national anthem ever recorded, this well paced prison/boxing drama sports fine performances from Ving Rhames and Peter Falk and a very surly Wesley Snipes. Columbo plays an aging prison-bound Mafioso who wants to set up a boxing match between the prison champ and the recently convicted heavyweight champion. And while Mike Tyson could certainly make a legal case against writer David Giler and writer/director Walter Hill, it makes for an interesting story. Hills use of black and white flashbacks, on-screen text and some great boxing sequences help develop the characters without wasting screen time on needless exposition, a definite plus in a solid B-movie like Undisputed.
Mr. Deeds Goes to Town 9/10
Starring the incomparable Jean Arthur and her beautiful, frog-like voice, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town is yet another piece of Rockwellian Americana from my favorite director, Frank Capra. This time its Gary Copper playing the fish out of water role as Longfellow Deeds, an intelligent, though naïve country bumpkin who inherits $20 million dollars from an uncle he’s never met. He travels to New York City and unwittingly falls in love with one of the city’s most notorious newshounds (Jean Arthur) and soon becomes fresh fodder for the front page of her paper. Capra’s classic contains a special heartwarming charm absent from today’s films. Whether this is due to the film’s stars, Capra’s magic, or perhaps an innocence of days gone by, I don’t know. All I do know is it Capra’s America seems to have been lost and the view he preserved on film should be cherished by each successive generation of Americans.
Garrett
01-30-05, 01:30 PM
What's your favorite Frank Capra movie?
I was just thinking about that with great difficulty earlier today. It's kind of like saying "Who would you rather have sex with, Eva Longoria or Heidi Klum?" You just can't go wrong!
If you put a gun to my head and said make a decision I guess I would rate them like this:
1.) Mr. Smith Goes to Washington 10/10
2.) It's a Wonderful Life 10/10
3.) It Happened One Night 9/10
4.) Arsenic and Old Lace 9/10
5.) Mr. Deeds Goes to Town 9/10
How do you rank 'em Garrett?
Wake of Death 1/10
Director Philippe Martinez’s ominous sounding movie seems like the type of film made to impress one’s mother in an attempt to justify the cost of film school. Its ridiculous story stars Jean-Claude Van Damme as a bouncer of some sorts for the French mob who must avenge the murder of his wife. Surprisingly, Jean Claude and Co. aren’t very smart, though they do try to make up for their lack of brains by frequently swearing while mugging for the camera and performing random acts of gratuitous violence. Case in point, they use sheets instead of plastic to cover the floor while torturing a subject with a power drill. I mean really, you wouldn’t want to prevent the blood (Also known as evidence!) from staining the floor so it only makes sense to use sheets. Personally I would have gone with Bounty (the quicker picker upper) if they had insisted I use a fibrous product, but to each his own. Sarcasm aside, this absolutely horrible film, like most of Mr. Van Damme’s work should be avoided at all cost. Unless, that is, you are feeling nauseous and need a little something special to get you over the hump, so to speak.
SamsoniteDelilah
02-01-05, 12:52 AM
Mose, these reviews are wonderful. I really like how concise they are. Makes them fun to read.
Hopefully this won't sound like a conceited comment, but I think I'm starting to find my voice. It's taken me awhile, but if you go back and read some of the earlier reviews (you should see the ones I have on my hard drive) I think you'll see they sounded different. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it... Lately I've been a little less formal and thrown in some of the comments I make to Mrs. Mose during the movies and am much happier with my work. Just be sure to spread the word about Toefuzz.com ;)
I am working on my top 100 list while I write this... I've narrowed it down to 100 films, but am having a heck of a time trying to put them in any order. I did cheat quite a bit though and combined trilogies together... Otherwise, Indiana Jones, The Godfather, Star Wars, etc would have taken up half the damn list!
SamsoniteDelilah
02-01-05, 01:25 AM
It doesn't sound at all conceited, because you have a clear voice in these. Mrs Mose seems to be a good recipient of your ideas. (I'd said something about "bouncing things off her" and it sounded so wrong I had to delete it.)
I couldn't do a top hundred if you put a gun to my head. Kudos on the effort!
Hopefully this won't sound like a conceited comment, but I think I'm starting to find my voice.
I am working on my top 100 list while I write this...!
Mose, I agree with Sammi you defiantly found your voice. :D
Have you seen LordSlaytans top 100? :cool:
Yes I have seen Slay's top 100... It's actually what inspired me to try and come up with my own :)
1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
2. Goodfellas
3. Godfather I, II
4. Casablanca
5. Dr. Strangelove
6. Princess Bride
7. Harvey
8. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
9. Rear Window
10. It’s a Wonderful Life
11. Star Wars Trilogy
12. When Harry Met Sally
13. Patton
14. Rounders
15. Best in Show
16. Big Fish
17. Braveheart
18. High Noon
19. Philadelphia Story, The
20. Usual Suspects, The
21. Saving Private Ryan
22. Indiana Jones Trilogy
23. Gone with the Wind
24. Terminator Trilogy
25. Shawshank Redemption
26. Great Escape
27. High Fidelity
28. This is Spinal Tap
29. Rosemary’s Baby
30. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
31. Evil Dead Trilogy
32. Life is Beautiful
33. Dark City
34. Leon
35. Shining, The
36. Mallrats
37. Predator
38. Platoon
39. Brain Donors
40. Blair Witch Project
41. Bringing Up Baby
42. It Happened One Night
43. O Brother Where Art Thou
44. Desperado
45. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
46. Matrix Trilogy
47. Die Hard Trilogy
48. Bridge on the River Kwai
49. Hoosiers
50. Blade Runner
51. Harold and Maude
52. Notorious
53. Arsenic and Old Lace
54. Natural, The
55. Dances with Wolves
56. Exorcist, The
57. Thing, The
58. The Game
59. Babe
60. Clockwork Orange
61. South Park – Bigger, Longer, Uncut
62. Sting, The
63. Nightmare on Elm Street
64. Commando
65. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
66. Clerks
67. Secondhand Lions
68. Mulholland Drive
69. Kill Bill I, II
70. Papillion
71. Field of Dreams
72. Memento
73. Fargo
74. Slap Shot
75. Fish Called Wanda
76. Forrest Gump
77. Jaws
78. Glengary Glen Ross
79. Rocky IV
80. Dead Alive
81. Roman Holiday
82. Happy Gilmore
83. Halloween
84. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
85. Toy Story 2
86. Jerk, The
87. Rocky Horror Picture Show
88. Waiting for Guffman
89. Untouchables
90. Office Space
91. Glory
92. Caddyshack
93. Blues Brothers
94. Bull Durham
95. Back to the Future
96. Open Range
97. Moulin Rouge
98. Blazing Saddles
99. Big Sleep
100. Christmas Story
A few thoughts/observations after going over my list...
- I am actually rather impressed with the number of old movies on my list. Mrs. Mose and I have really only been watching movies on a regular basis for 3 or 4 years and seem to have done a decent job of catching up on the classics.
- I am a sap... the number of romantic comedies on the list reflect that, but heck, one of the reasons Mrs. Mose was initially attracted to me was b/c I made her watch Breakfast at Tiffany's... Everyone else just thought I was gay.
- I LOVE old comedies
- I admit it, I wimped out and lumped trilogies together... Otherwise the list would have been populated by only a few series of films.
- That's a damn solid top ten, IMHO
Comments and/or complaints from anyone else?
Unstoppable 3/10
Unstoppable, as in I am unable to stop the bile from exiting my body via my mouth after watching Wesley Snipes latest creative endeavor. Borrowing from such brilliant films as the original DOA and Hitchcock’s North By Northwest, Unstoppable sets its overall tone of crappiness in the first two minutes when the worst dummy in the history of cinema falls from an ambulance and is run over by a semi-truck. Sadly, things went down hill from here as Snipes’ retired covert ops specialist is injected with the world’s most powerful hallucinogen after being mistakenly identified as an informant’s contact with the FBI. He now only has a few hours to live and must find his killers and exact revenge, courtesy of lots of explosions. While not a complete waste of time, which is an improvement over many of Mr. Snipes’ movie, Unstoppable is far from being good and should be avoided unless you really love bad movies.
Lance McCool
02-03-05, 04:02 PM
7. Harvey
Oh man, I just saw this on Turner Classic Movies. What a great film, definitely one of Jimmy Stewart's best.
I've always thought it was underrated... Most people say it's a good movie, but I rarely see it in anyone's top 10 or top 20... and as you can tell from my list, that's where I think it belongs :)
Pyro Tramp
02-04-05, 03:28 PM
Mose, I can't find Showgirls on there...?
82. Happy Gilmore
Some interesting choices Mose, Just need to say this, AM I MISSING SOMETHING :scream: I seem to be the only person who hates "Happy Gilmore". :(
I had a hard time with that one Pyro... It got bumped off when I remembered Breakfast at Tiffany's, so you can say it's number 101 ;)
As for Happy Gilmore, yes you are missing something! There's really no explanation for it though... just personal taste. Besides, even I'll admit that Happy Gilmore is one of the all-time great guilty pleasures... Just like Road House!
Some interesting choices Mose, Just need to say this, AM I MISSING SOMETHING :scream: I seem to be the only person who hates "Happy Gilmore". :(
Not the only one ;)
I really need to stop watching crappy movies.
Tomie: Replay 3/10
A 6 year old girl is rushed to the hospital and must undergo an emergency surgery to remove a foreign object from her stomach. Soon after strange things begin happening and it’s up to the very attractive Sakaya Yamaguchi to figure out what in the heck is going on. Being a firm believer in the theory of not saying anything unless you have something nice to say I should first state that Tomie: Replay did not disappoint (I had never heard of the manga and thus had no expectations) and had the kind of opening scene that really set the tone for a solid horror movie. Unfortunately it fails to live up to the expectations set in the films first 15 minutes and is quickly brought back down to earth by its incredibly slow pacing and a confusing plot that makes only a half-hearted effort to fill in the unhip as to what in the world is going on.
Below 5/10
Strange times abound as the crew of a World War II U.S. submarine pick up three survivors from a sunken British hospital ship. Given the claustrophobic nature of life on a submarine I’m amazed someone hadn’t tried to combine a phallic boat with a ghost story before Below. Unfortunately some not so smart Hollywood studio waited to give the concept to director David Twohy who was too busy picking the seaweed out of his arse to be bothered with taking advantage of the possibilities open to him. After a suspenseful first hour his film soon enters the realm of the ridiculous, climaxing in a manner that can best be described as laughable, never a good sign for a horror/suspense movie.
I really need to stop watching crappy movies.
Someone has to review them for the rest of us. :yup:
Ya'll are lucky I'm sacrificing for you! In order to correct things I just finished up the William Powell classic The Thin Man... Review to come :)
Ya'll are lucky I'm sacrificing for you! In order to correct things I just finished up the William Powell classic The Thin Man... Review to come :)
I love "The Thin Man" :D
Tacitus
02-05-05, 06:39 AM
I love "The Thin Man" :D
I've just finished making the sequel - The (Slightly) Balding Man Who's Not As Thin As He Once Was But Makes Great Pasta: The Chronicles Of Baldrick.
Ginger Snaps 7/10
One of the few good things to come from our so-called peaceful neighbors to the north, this gory horror flick offers a refreshing new spin on the traditional werewolf legend by equating a werewolf’s monthly change with a young girl’s menstrual cycle (always a welcome topic for us guys). Two sisters, obsessed with death, head out one night to exact revenge on one of their school’s more popular girls when Ginger, the older of the two, is attacked by an unseen creature. It’s now up to younger sister Brigitte and the helpful neighborhood drug dealer Sam to find a cure for Ginger’s new appetite. With a brief nod to one of my favorite movies, Harold and Maude, director John Fawcett creates what is probably the best werewolf movie since “American Werewolf in London”, though that’s not saying much given the genres abysmal track record.
LordSlaytan
02-07-05, 01:54 AM
Ginger Snaps 7/10
One of the few good things to come from our so-called peaceful neighbors to the north...Dude, I'm really starting to wonder about you.
Was your puppy killed by a Canadian or something?
No, I live in Michigan and just love to pick on Canadians! It's the only place our misguided youth can go to drink and gamble :)
Besides, being one of the 231 Americans who loves Hockey I am exempt from being politically correct when it comes to Canadian jokes... Kind of like when Jerry's dentist converted to Judaism just to get the good jokes!
How else might you be wondering about me?
LordSlaytan
02-07-05, 02:18 AM
No, I live in Michigan and just love to pick on Canadians! It's the only place our misguided youth can go to drink and gamble :)
Besides, being one of the 231 Americans who loves Hockey I am exempt from being politically correct when it comes to Canadian jokes... Kind of like when Jerry's dentist converted to Judaism just to get the good jokes!
How else might you be wondering about me?You think that all the coastal cities are to blame for America's downfall...I live in Portland. You hurt me terribly, so I'm not sure if I can go to your party this weekend. Besides, if it wound up going poorly, you might blame me for its downfall which would cause me to 'go inward', and my psychiatrist told me I'd have to 'check myself in' for 'electric shock therapy' if I did that or 'kill anyone' ever again. She's so unsympathetic and prude.
You think that all the coastal cities are to blame for America's downfall...I live in Portland. You hurt me terribly, so I'm not sure if I can go to your party this weekend. Besides, if it wound up going poorly, you might blame me for its downfall which would cause me to 'go inward', and my psychiatrist told me I'd have to 'check myself in' for 'electric shock therapy' if I did that or 'kill anyone' ever again. She's so unsympathetic and prude.
:rotfl:
Of course I didn't meant you in particular Slay... Just the Nancy Pelosi's of the Coasts!
You also have to bear in mind if I write something it's almost always meant in the most sarcastic of ways... I'll admit, not the best form of humor for the internet, but it's all I've got :)
You hurt me terribly, so I'm not sure if I can go to your party this weekend.
I am hurt terribly too, I didn't even get invited. :bawling:
Who's Your Daddy 3/10
At an early age I came to the crushing realization it was unlikely I would become my generation’s Hugh Heffner. To combat this sad awareness I often fantasized about creating a movie that would cast me, the all knowing Mose, as the central character in grotto life. Of course being the rational person that I am, I never attempted to turn that dream into a reality, rightfully assuming nobody wanted to see it. Unfortunately the gentlemen responsible for “Who’s Your Daddy” never reached said realization and went on to create this cliché ridden comedy comprised of 90 minutes of filler and a few brief moments of hilarity, though not enough to make this supposed coming-of-age tale worth watching. For those interested, the plot involves an adopted high-school student whose biological parents pass away, leaving behind a Playboy type enterprise. Will the money, fame, and ‘Angels’ (think Bunnies) go to an 18 year old straight males head? I’ll leave that for ya’ll to decide. On a side note, am I alone in thinking Ali Landry might be the most beautiful woman in the world?
1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
2. Goodfellas
3. Godfather I, II
4. Casablanca
5. Dr. Strangelove
6. Princess Bride
7. Harvey
8. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
9. Rear Window
10. It’s a Wonderful Life
11. Star Wars Trilogy
12. When Harry Met Sally
13. Patton
14. Rounders
15. Best in Show
16. Big Fish
17. Braveheart
18. High Noon
19. Philadelphia Story, The
20. Usual Suspects, The
21. Saving Private Ryan
22. Indiana Jones Trilogy
23. Gone with the Wind
24. Terminator Trilogy
25. Shawshank Redemption
26. Great Escape
27. High Fidelity
28. This is Spinal Tap
29. Rosemary’s Baby
30. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
31. Evil Dead Trilogy
32. Life is Beautiful
33. Dark City
34. Leon
35. Shining, The
36. Mallrats
37. Predator
38. Platoon
39. Brain Donors
40. Blair Witch Project
41. Bringing Up Baby
42. It Happened One Night
43. O Brother Where Art Thou
44. Desperado
45. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
46. Matrix Trilogy
47. Die Hard Trilogy
48. Bridge on the River Kwai
49. Hoosiers
50. Blade Runner
51. Harold and Maude
52. Notorious
53. Arsenic and Old Lace
54. Natural, The
55. Dances with Wolves
56. Exorcist, The
57. Thing, The
58. The Game
59. Babe
60. Clockwork Orange
61. South Park – Bigger, Longer, Uncut
62. Sting, The
63. Nightmare on Elm Street
64. Commando
65. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
66. Clerks
67. Secondhand Lions
68. Mulholland Drive
69. Kill Bill I, II
70. Papillion
71. Field of Dreams
72. Memento
73. Fargo
74. Slap Shot
75. Fish Called Wanda
76. Forrest Gump
77. Jaws
78. Glengary Glen Ross
79. Rocky IV
80. Dead Alive
81. Roman Holiday
82. Happy Gilmore
83. Halloween
84. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
85. Toy Story 2
86. Jerk, The
87. Rocky Horror Picture Show
88. Waiting for Guffman
89. Untouchables
90. Office Space
91. Glory
92. Caddyshack
93. Blues Brothers
94. Bull Durham
95. Back to the Future
96. Open Range
97. Moulin Rouge
98. Blazing Saddles
99. Big Sleep
100. Christmas Story
A few thoughts/observations after going over my list...
- I am actually rather impressed with the number of old movies on my list. Mrs. Mose and I have really only been watching movies on a regular basis for 3 or 4 years and seem to have done a decent job of catching up on the classics.
- I am a sap... the number of romantic comedies on the list reflect that, but heck, one of the reasons Mrs. Mose was initially attracted to me was b/c I made her watch Breakfast at Tiffany's... Everyone else just thought I was gay.
- I LOVE old comedies
- I admit it, I wimped out and lumped trilogies together... Otherwise the list would have been populated by only a few series of films.
- That's a damn solid top ten, IMHO
Comments and/or complaints from anyone else?
what about the Wizard of oz? great american film!
I've been away from the computer for awhile but have a few I'd like to add.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid 4/10
With the aid of ominous sounding music, a greedy team of scientists trek through the jungles of Borneo to find something called the Blood Orchid, a flower they hope will be a Viagra of sorts for the human life span. Lead by Captain Badass, this team of intrepid explorers begins dropping faster than KaDee Strickland’s southern accent, no small feat given she wasn’t cast for her acting chops. In short, if you are the type of person who lives for bad snake movies (and after all, isn’t that the only kind?), then Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid is for you! All else need not apply, unless they happen to be gluttons for painful acting and cheesy effects.
Joe Somebody 2/10
Joe Scheffer (Tim Allen) decides he’s not going to take it anymore after his daughter watches a coworker kick her father’s butt over a parking space. He decides to challenge this giant and quickly becomes one of the most popular people at work, but do these newfound friends like him for who he is or what he’s going to do? Joe must now weight this newfound popularity against the love and respect of those who liked him for who he was, not what he’s become. Jim Belushi aside, Joe Somebody squanders any chance it had at being a successful comedy by trying to fit into the ABC after-school special mold. At this they are unsuccessful due to some of the films language and violence, both of which will prevent many parents from watching this one with their children and there is no way Joe Somebody can stand on its own as a movie for adults. Essentially it feels a bit like an HBO sitcom they toned down for the networks, only a really, really, really long sitcom without the laughs.
Porky's 8/10
I was sitting down to watch Porky’s the other day when to my surprise, my handy dandy movie guide gave it a Turkey rating, essentially saying it’s one of the worst films ever made. Confused, I began to question whether my recollection of films such as Porky’s was skewed by my adolescent need to see naked boobies? Was I really this shallow at such a young age? I’m proud to say the answer to such questions is a resounding NO! One of the original crude teen sex comedies, Porky’s is deserving of its reputation as a classic amongst those of us who gladly lack any and all sophistication.
Porky's II: The Next Day 6/10
Set against a backdrop of bigotry and intolerance, Porky’s 2 deals with complex issues in a matter befitting their serious nature, mainly through the use of crude sexual humor. The adult in me was repelled by the coarse humor prevalent throughout the film while the adolescent boy was thrilled by the vulgar fun as this group of randy teenagers battles a corrupt minister hell bent on shutting down their production of Shakespeare.
Thanks Mose, I think I will give Joe Somebody a miss. :yup:
Punker69
02-13-05, 06:12 PM
"Joe Somebody" in my opinion would'nt even be worth reviewing.It was so bland and unfunny that I thought I was going to die of boredom as I viewed it.
Ah, but then you'll miss out on the cinematic excellence known as Tim Allen! 'Tis a shame!
The Grudge 3/10
Given the recent success of The Ring it comes as no surprise that Hollywood would elect to remake more Japanese horror movies, unfortunately The Grudge isn’t one of their better attempts. Based on an old Japanese saying that loosely translates into “If you die while really ticked off you turn into some creepy looking kid in need of a serious attitude adjustment that only Buffy the Vampire Slayer can give”, The Grudge resorts to the lowest of Hollywood horror trickery, mainly cheap scares consisting of some creepy looking kid jumping into frame from off camera. And while I can’t claim surprise given the movie’s star (Sarah Michelle Geller), I can claim disappointment given the positive word of mouth the original film has received.
8 ½ 5/10
One of the definitive art-house movies, Fellini’s 8 ½ deals with a director disillusioned with his most recent sci-fi endeavor and unable to assimilate his interesting surroundings into a compelling and coherent narrative, I think. Jumping between reality and fantasy seemingly at whim, Fellini’s oftentimes confusing story is regarded as filmmaking at it’s finest, though I don’t see it. His brilliant and fluid tracking shots aside, this story seems to go nowhere and doesn’t mind taking it’s time along the way. Perhaps I’m simply not smart enough to understand what makes the film great. If so, I’ll be content to stick to my mindless action flicks while only occasionally trying to broaden my horizons with films I don’t understand.
LordSlaytan
02-13-05, 07:40 PM
Mose’s Reviews:
Garden State:
I still haven’t seen this one, but I really want to. I’m in love with Portman (who isn’t) and enjoy Braff a lot. I hope I walk away content after I see it.
Mean Streets:
Stop gushing, you’re embarrassing yourself. ;)
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey:
Not really a review, but rather a synopsis of the film. I never really liked it anyway, though Keannu is dreamy.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse:
This is why you should always masturbate before writing reviews. :)
After Hours:
Spread your legs, and then bend your back, then present your nuts for a serious kicking. I love this film. It’s too bad that you’re so busy hating Canadians and being horny to enjoy it.
House of Flying Daggers:
I’m checking this one out this week; I’ll get back to you. Considering that I’m a huge Yimou Zhang fan, assume to follow the steps I outlined above.
In general I try to rate films based on how entertained I was, not how well made the film was.
Does that make any sense?Yes, that makes perfect sense. You can protect your testicles now. *grumble…lucky bastard*
The Manchurian Candidate (2004)
Great review and you captured my sentiments perfectly. I was really annoyed when I saw they were making a remake, but it wound up being one of the best remakes I had ever seen. It sure as hell didn’t hurt that Demme acquired the cast that he did.
The Iron Giant:
I liked it, but never fell in love with it. Nice wording though; it’s easy to tell you’re a loving papa.
Friday Night Lights:
Sigh…I suppose I should eventually rent this one…but why bother as long as the sappy Rudy is still one I enjoy so much?
Face/Off:
Hated the film. Can’t stand the director. Hate the fact that he’d like to change the face of the war genre by making them action/adventure movies. I’ll never forgive the hack.
The Village:
I’m one of the few that wasn’t overly disappointed with The Village. Yes, I went in expecting it to be more than it was, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I’d rate it fourth among his last four movies though. Good review.
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle:
I assumed that I would like this one after watching the trailer, but I failed to see it. Nice of you to remind me…another reason why your testis are safe…for now! Mwahahaha!
Catwoman:
I saw this one on a brainless day of movie hopping that included films I didn’t want to pay for. I didn’t quite hate it as much as you, but I sure didn’t like it. If Pitof would have made up his mind what type of movie he wanted to make, it could have been better, but he couldn’t. It kept trying to be serious, yet campy…and that does not work. I would have enjoyed it more if it had gone all out camp…but alas.
The Forgotten:
It’s too bad that this film is as poor as it is. The story could have been great, but only achieved mediocrity. Good call.
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington:
The fact that you slipped this one in among so many, well, crappy films, leads me to believe you’re bi-polar. Were you off your medication? ;) Nice review of a wonderful classic. I also like the way you gave Jean Arthur her…props, I guess.
Mean Girls:
All right, all right, I’ll rent it! doG! Give a guy a break will ya’?
This is Spinal Tap:
What can anyone say about this film that won’t sound like a slobbering puppy eating a steak? It kicks ass…and you agree with all of us. Good job, you’re not a hack like me. :D
The Color of Money:
Perfect commentary on a lackluster film made by a legendary director…and you’re right…Paul Newman will always be one of the coolest cats to ever grace the big screen.
Uncle Buck:
I’ve never been a big John Candy fan, and this film didn’t change that. There are a small handful of roles that he did that I did enjoy, but most of his films fall into the category of forgotten flicks as far as my brain goes.
Alien vs. Predator:
Okay, we’re back to the nut kickin’ time. Well, actually, you did hate it. So I guess you’re safe. :)
Play Misty For Me:
DAMNIT!! Stick those nuts out, bro! And I don’t mean on my chin either, you sick ^%^$&*$!!! I do understand how watching a film from a time not remembered or ever known can lose the impact it once had, but try to remember that this was a groundbreaking movie in a lot of ways. But actually, it would be better if Holden Pike defended this one. Clint’s his passion.
THX 1138:
This one needs to be complimented with an 1/8 of shrooms. I never got into it all that much. Nice review though.
Undisputed:
Never wanted to see this one, and you certainly haven’t changed my mind about that! :laugh:
Mr. Deeds Goes to Town:
You know, there should be a law that prevents Adam Sandler from ever making remakes. He couldn’t get this one right, so who can possibly expect him to get The Longest Yard right? I know he didn’t direct them, but you know he had some creative ( :sick: ) influence over them. I’m glad you chose to watch and review the original instead of wasting time on the garbage. Frank Capra movies should be left alone.
Wake of Death:
Let me guess…you review everything that you watch. Ugh. Why the hell would a Frank Capra fanatic even bother watching a movie like this. Your testicles are going to be nothing but pudding soup when I’m finally done kickin’ ‘em!
Hopefully this won't sound like a conceited comment, but I always thought I was better than all of you slackers. You guys think you have good taste, but you don’t! I have nothing but contempt for the lot of you.What the hell?!?!?
Yes I have seen Slay's top 100... It's actually what inspired me to try and come up with my own :)Hmm…Who is this Slay everyone talks about? Tell me…is his, you know, his thingy…as big as everyone says?
Comments and/or complaints from anyone else? (concerning his top 100) Pretty damn spiffy for a top 100! Here are the only comments I have (and remember…I’m just playin around).
12. When Harry Met Sally (yipes! Actually, one of the better contemporary romantic comedies.)
15. Best in Show (couldn’t get into it…I know it’s smart and witty…but just couldn’t.)
36. Mallrats (not bad…but not even close to being great. But it’s cool that you’re being honest.)
39. Brain Donors (never even heard of it before…thanks!)
44. Desperado (cool, I like it too…but why a favorite?)
46. Matrix Trilogy (shame on you!) ;D
47. Die Hard Trilogy (the whole trilogy?)
64. Commando (eww…)
67. Secondhand Lions (you are a sappy slob, ain’t ya’?)
71. Field of Dreams (see above.)
74. Slap Shot (cool…more honesty. I forgot this movie existed.)
79. Rocky IV (okay…present nuts. I can understand Rocky, but Rocky IV?) :D
82. Happy Gilmore (icky.)
94. Bull Durham (hmm…yeah, you're honest...blah/blah/blah.) :)
Unstoppable:
Wow. You really hated this one. Maybe you should quit watching ****ty movies. :rolleyes: ;)
...I'll admit that Happy Gilmore is one of the all-time great guilty pleasures... Just like Road House!I have my own too. Can anyone say The Fifth Element?
Tomie: Replay
Never heard of it before this very moment. I guess I’ll check it out if I stumble upon it, but there’s really no shortage of better movies of this type. Or is there?
Below:
Again; WHY ARE YOU PICKING OUT THESE CRAPPY FILMS?!?!?! :laugh: I don’t get it. Are you self-destructive? You seem to know ahead of time that they’ll suck…I’m just confused.
Ginger Snaps:
I think I’ll still skip it. Horror movies are notoriously crappy anymore.
Who's Your Daddy:
Where do you find the films you write your reviews about? I haven’t heard of a few of them before. This is one of them…and thanks to you, I’ll remember to never hear of it again. :)
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid:
I had a screening pass for this one and was actually able to sell it for $5. Boy, I sure felt guilty doing that.
Joe Somebody:
Wait a minute! You’re reviewing movies shown on TV, aren’t you? Well, at least you didn’t pay to see the ‘next’ Tim Allen crapfest. Lucky you. I actually paid to see this a number of years ago. I kicked myself in the nuts…which was no easy task, my friend!
Porky's / Porky's II: The Next Day
I won’t bother with these. For some reason I have always detested all the Porky’s movies. Nice of you to remind me of them though. ;D
The Grudge:
I thought it was slick looking, but that’s it. Weak writing, weak acting, and cheap shocks, make this another forgettable, and regrettable horror movie. I like your review of it.
8 ½:
I’d like to see you write another review of this one after you’ve seen it a few more times. Have you watched many older foreign classics? Or is this one of your first?
Thanks for all the effort, Mose! Now treat yourself to some good movies. :)
Wow, it's going to take me awhile to properly respond to that post :) I am slightly concerned with your fascination with my manhood though ;)
You do have to at least give me some credit for diversity! I mean really, who else watches the crap I do while still working in the classics? Consider me a student of the human condition attempting to understand why it is that crappy films like Unstoppable and Wake of Death are even made... at least that's what I tell myself :)
LordSlaytan
02-13-05, 08:08 PM
If fascination means that I want to smash them because you keep tormenting your eyes, your mind, and your wife, with the choices you make...be concerned.
Be very concerned.
Oh...don't feel compelled to answer it, I just felt like responding to it today.
81/2 is one of my favourites, I am a big Fellini fan, I agree with Lordylord give it another look. :D
Grudge I won't bother to see this. :p
Punker69
02-13-05, 09:45 PM
“If you die while really ticked off you turn into some creepy looking kid in need of a serious attitude adjustment that only Buffy the Vampire Slayer can give”
But Gellar is Buffy :eek:
But Gellar is Buffy :eek:
She used to be, now she is mortal, with that go bad reviews. :D
If fascination means that I want to smash them because you keep tormenting your eyes, your mind, and your wife, with the choices you make...be concerned.
Be very concerned.
Oh...don't feel compelled to answer it, I just felt like responding to it today.
Then yes, I am very concerned!
D'yer Mak'er
02-14-05, 03:03 AM
I'm not one to tell a person they are wrong about a movie, but why would you write a review of a film that you know for a fact you didn't understand? If it is plain to you that 8 1/2 requires multiple viewings and total concentration, why decide its value after a single watch?
Otherwise, good reviews. I've always liked harsh reviewers but not when a breathtaking film is subject to an uneducated opinion.
I wrote what I thought about it, there's nothing wrong with that... As Slayton figured out, I write my reviews based on entertainment, not artistic merit. I simply did not find 8 1/2 to be that entertaining. Here is a section of my review detailing what I understood the movie to be about: Fellini’s 8 ½ deals with a director disillusioned with his most recent sci-fi endeavor and unable to assimilate his interesting surroundings into a compelling and coherent narrative, I think. Jumping between reality and fantasy seemingly at whim, Fellini’s oftentimes confusing story is regarded as filmmaking at it’s finest, though I don’t see it What haven't I understood?
I wrote what I thought about it, there's nothing wrong with that...
Don't worry about it, I got bad rep yesterday :( from someone who liked a movie I hated....we are all different. :D
Wow... I can't imagine giving out bad rep b/c someone doesn't like a movie... that's just crazy! This board would be damn boring if we all agreed :)
Still though, I would love for someone to explain to me what makes 8 1/2 so good. All I've been told so far is I need to watch it several more times.
I've been trying to get Mrs. Mose to write some reviews for our website for quite sometime now and have finally worn her down... So without any further adieu, here's her very first review!
Open Water 4/10
Dah Dum. Dah Dum. Dah dum dum dum dum! Jaws’ distant relatives return for revenge in this low budget (cough, looks like a bad 80’s porn, cough, cough) thriller. On a much needed vacation, Susan and Daniel decide the best way to fix a rocky marriage is to go scuba diving, of course! I’ll sum up the rest of the movie for you-they float around and talk a lot. There’s not a lot positive I can say about this movie, but I must admit the idea of being left behind was pretty scary. I personally will not be scuba diving anywhere but in my local YMCA pool, and God only knows what’s in there.
Lance McCool
02-15-05, 06:47 PM
I personally will not be scuba diving anywhere but in my local YMCA pool, and God only knows what’s in there.
http://www.carlspackler.com/archive/cs_188.jpg
Caddyshack was awesome... :cool:
LordSlaytan
02-15-05, 07:10 PM
Pretty damn good flick if you ask me...but what do I know?
Nice to see you poking your head in here Mrs. Mose...maybe you can join yourself. But be more imaginitive with your monikor that what squishy nuts (I still owe him...) thought up for you. ;D
Frailty 9/10
Virtually ignored by moviegoers, this little gem of a flick marks the directorial debut of Mr. Bill Paxton (Yes, THAT Bill Paxton) who plays a father commanded by angels to destroy demons that have taken the form of normal human beings. Enlisting the help of his two young boys, Paxton sets out to fulfill his destiny as a demon slayer against an eerie backdrop of white picket fences and beautiful rose gardens. Proving he has absorbed much from some of the better directors he’s worked with over the past twenty years (Raimi, Howard, Cameron, etc.), Paxton delivers a solid little thriller filled to the brim with atmosphere and implied violence, both of which are aided by his decision to leave much of the film’s gruesomeness off-screen, showing a strange respect for his audience not often found in Hollywood today.
D'yer Mak'er
02-17-05, 07:27 AM
Still though, I would love for someone to explain to me what makes 8 1/2 so good. All I've been told so far is I need to watch it several more times.
Yeah, I don't think you will get one soon. I would love to write a review on a film such as 8 1/2 but I simply am not up for the challenge. To be a film critic one of my largest fears would be 8 1/2, especially in an extremely positive light. I guess the reason you won't see a detailed 8 1/2 review on these boards is the same reason there is a complete depravity of Fellini discussion as well.
But once again, nice reviews. Your review thread is one of the few I bother reading.
Thanks D'yer Mak'er!
I agree with you on movies like 8 1/2. It's amazing how easy and fun it can be to review a bad movie (see most of my reviews) and how difficult it can be with a good movie. I find I spend a lot more time when I write a review of a movie I gave an 8 or higher to. It's often difficult to keep reviews of good films concise and they also start to sound repetitive after awhile (great acting, great cinematograpy, great directing, etc)... There's only so many ways you can say these things, while it's almost impossible to run out of mean things to say, though maybe it's just me :)
Caitlyn
02-17-05, 11:21 AM
Frailty 9/10
I love Frailty... thanks for the review[s]... and tell Ms. Mose, thanks too... :)
Will do Caitlyn, and thanks for the rep... It's interesting to see how much more positive rep from you jumps my rep up than from others... Guess you've been around awhile :)
Stander 5/10
This well made little flick falters under its central character’s sense of self-importance which in turn causes some of its social commentary to fall a bit flat, thus negating the purpose of the movie, in my humble opinion. Jane stars as Andre Stander, a captain in the South African police department who becomes disillusioned with his departments mission to protect a privileged minority. In an attempt to combat his feelings of despair he decides to rob banks, as any sane minded person would do. And while I’ll admit I am certainly no expert on South Africa, I have to believe that Mr. Stander was painted in the very best of light in this picture. I can’t help to feel that he was nothing more than a man who craved attention and not some modern day Robin Hood robbing from the oppressors to help free the oppressed. Still, the movie was well made and reasonably interesting, I just question some of the motives behind it and the truthfulness of what we were told.
Thanks for the review, my hsb was brought up in South Africa, I have been there about 10 times, I would like to see this as I find it a sad, fascinating and in some ways optimistic place. :D
The movie starts out really strong and some of the chants the blacks use while protesting are actually quite beautiful... just can't quite sustain the momentum it develops as a character driven crime piece. It was interesting to listen to some of the whites justify what was going on in South Africa.
It was interesting to listen to some of the whites justify what was going on in South Africa.
I have seen a lot of that. :rolleyes: Also many people who were not happy with apartheid, my hsb has a friend who is a Doco film maker who was banned from making film in South Africa for a long time, the government didn't like the content of his films. :rolleyes: My Hsb and myself stayed up all night to watch Nelson Mandeela walk free from Jail, it was an exciting time for South Africa. :D
You seem to become even more interesting by the day nebs :)
Kunoichi Lady Ninja 5/10
Rarely has a movie that makes so little sense been so much fun to watch as a team of ninja nuns set out to exact revenge on seven demons who slaughtered the inhabitants of a convent while looking for pleasure partners for their wimpy feudal lord. Aided in their quest by a one-eyed master swordsman and such awe inspiring powers as nipple shock wave, vaginal echo, virgin blood phoenix sword and a host of other special powers never before seen on the big screen they set out on a bloody and campy rampage of revenge that must be seen to be believed.
Now that sound like an interesting movie, and those special powers, I want those. :nope:
Saw 4/10
You know your horror movie needs a great script if it’s going to overcome a cast of Wesley (Cary Elwes), the MILF guy from American Pie (Ken Leung), Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series (Danny Glover), and a Julia Roberts clone (Monica Potter). Unfortunately Saw does little more than attempt to borrow from the much better Se7en with it’s disturbing visuals and similar plot as some holier than though kook puts people into kill or be killed situations to teach them the value of life, which makes a lot of sense because they very often have to kill someone to live. Of course my objections to the film could center on my turning into an old fart, but I’m willing to venture a guess that most people will agree with me. And while the film isn’t a total waste of time, it’s certainly not what I would consider a must see.
Just caught up on most of your reviews. I especially liked your thoughts on Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, THX 1138, and Frailty.
Your Top 100 looks interesting, but like LordSlaytan said, at times you seem to be bi-polar.
Here are the films in your Top 100 that would make some sort of Top something of mine (I'll cheat a little too with some of the trilogies, but not all):
Goodfellas
Godfather I, II
Princess Bride
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Rear Window
It’s a Wonderful Life
Star Wars Trilogy
When Harry Met Sally
Braveheart
High Noon
Saving Private Ryan
Raiders of the Lost Ark - (not the entire trilogy)
Gone with the Wind
The Terminator - (not the entire trilogy)
Shawshank Redemption
Shining, The
Platoon
Bringing Up Baby
It Happened One Night
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Matrix Trilogy
Die Hard - (not the entire trilogy)
Bridge on the River Kwai
Dances with Wolves
Exorcist, The
The Game
Clockwork Orange
Memento
Fargo
Jaws
Glengary Glen Ross
Halloween
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Toy Story 2
Caddyshack
Blues Brothers
Back to the Future
Open Range
Blazing Saddles
Christmas Story
I think I axed about 60 from your list. Again, the films I kept from your list are the ones that would make some sort of list of mine, but of course, not in the same order. Some of the films I removed, I may like, but they just wouldn't make the cut on a "Top Something" list of mine. A few other films I removed left me wondering (Second Hand Lions?).
Anyhoo, I'm glad I finally got a chance to go through your thread.
Thanks for reading! As you can tell, I love stupid comedies and am not afraid to admit it! I've always been an emotional sap and it's only gotten worse since I became a father... I think that's why movies like Secondhand Lions and Big Fish really get to me :)
Saw 4/10.
Thanks for the review, i think I will wait for this to come out on DVD here. :yup:
St. John's Wort 4/10
Coming off as more of a video game than a movie (though I assume that was intentional), St. John’s Wort deals with a young video game designer who inherits a creepy mansion from an unknown father. With nods to some of the giallo greats, particularly in his use of color, director Shimoyama Ten delivers a visually interesting film brimming with tension, only to have it fall apart in the final 15 minutes. His debut film reminded me of that girl in high school who would tease and tease yet never quite deliver the goods, which is a damn shame given the film’s potential.
LordSlaytan
02-21-05, 09:37 PM
Thanks for the review, i think I will wait for this to come out on DVD here. :yup:He's being generous giving it a 4.
He's being generous giving it a 4.
Now come on... The production values were solid and the story was reasonably interesting... It was primarily the uneven performances and ridiculous ending that brought the film down... A 4 isn't being generous, in fact, according to IMDB it's rather inflammatory (7.5/10 (10,568 votes)) :)
LordSlaytan
02-21-05, 10:13 PM
It had a ridiculous plot.
Cary Elwes was a ham.
The 'twist' ending was terribly weak.
It was just plain awful.
Giving it a 4 is being generous.
...and who gives a rats ass what the IMDb ranking is? That doesn't prove anything.
Damn, you sure are feisty tonight Slay! As for my rating of four, I think it's fair if you read my definition: Rapidly approaching the realm of bad movies. While not a total flop this one will be remembered more for what was wrong with it than what was right.
Now, onto the review of Broken Wings. I am not entirely happy with it and will probably change it around a bit later on, but I wanted everyone to head out and pick it up so I thought I'd throw the review up now.
Broken Wings 9/10
Beautiful and moving, Broken Wings catalogs the struggles of an Israeli family after a husband and father of four passes away. And while the basic story of death and its aftermath may not be new, Bergman’s approach differs in that it focuses on those left behind after their primary care giver, both financially and emotionally, is suddenly taken away rather than on the loss of a child. The casts’ outstanding performances take advantage of everything offered to them and create characters so real they made my heart ache with compassion, no small feat given the amount of celluloid I churn through in a given year. On a related note, we live in a truly amazing time when an average schmuck like yours truly, living in Hicksville, USA is able to watch director Nir Bergman’s universal portrait of grief and redemption, a film made on the opposite side of the world and in a language I cannot even begin to understand.
LordSlaytan
02-22-05, 12:27 AM
Damn, you sure are feisty tonight Slay! As for my rating of four, I think it's fair if you read my definition...
Now, onto the review of Broken Wings.Ah, I'm only feisty with the ones I love. Gimee a smooch Papa Mose! :kiss: Truth is, I hated Saw...passionately. What pissed me off about it most of all was that Elwes acted so miserably throughout the film. I really like this guy and always hope that he'll get a role that will make him popular again, but this role can only hurt his career.
I’ve been waiting for your review of this one. I too really liked this film, but I’m partial to foreign films that deal with ‘regular’ life.
Thanks for the review Mose. :D
As for you Lordylord the only people you are allowed to smooooooch with is Me, Annie, and Caity. so stop flirting. ;) :kiss:
Limbo 4/10
Limbo is a well crafted and poetic drama that features rich performances from a solid cast and outstanding direction from an underrated director, which makes it difficult to give the film a low rating. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never experienced much of what defines the films central characters, or maybe I’m not cosmopolitan enough to enjoy an artistic drama such as Limbo, heck, it may have just been a boring movie. Regardless, this sometimes interesting study of human nature and how focusing on the past can drastically affect a person’s future failed to draw me in, which makes it difficult to justify an investment of over two hours.
Sorry Slay ;)
SamsoniteDelilah
02-23-05, 06:21 PM
...On a related note, we live in a truly amazing time when an average schmuck like yours truly, living in Hicksville, USA is able to watch director Nir Bergman’s universal portrait of grief and redemption, a film made on the opposite side of the world and in a language I cannot even begin to understand.:up: Beautiful.
LordSlaytan
02-23-05, 10:49 PM
Limbo 4/10
Sorry Slay ;)No need to be sorry...I still love it.
Ashes of Time 5/10
Best classified as Wuxia for the art house crowd, Ashes of Time uses a non-linear narrative to tell the story of several desert dwelling people whose lives become entwined as they seek love and revenge while reminiscing about the power of choice. Wong Kar-wai’s direction, in particular his use of the full frame close-up while his actors are at rest and in action only adds to the narrative confusion, though at its heart Ashes of Time is still a cracked out piece of Asian cinema so being a confused viewer doesn’t necessarily diminish the viewing experience. I still only have a rough idea what happened, but don’t mind as the action scenes are entertaining as is most of the story, or at least what I was able to discern after a single viewing.
Butterfly and Sword 7/10
Incredibly over the top action sequences highlight Butterfly and Sword, a Wuxia epic revolving around feuding martial arts clans. And while the story itself leaves a bit to be desired, the stunt work (choreographed by Ching Siu-tung) is top-notch and worth the price of admission alone. Highlights include Tony Leung literally plowing through a caravan of his enemies to open the film, a wonderful battle atop bamboo trees (a precursor of things to come in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), and Michelle Yeoh sending Toney Leung through enemies as a human arrow. Easily accessible the uninitiated, Butterfly and Sword ranks as one of the better Wuxia works released in the last 20 years and is considered required viewing by fans of Asian cinema.
I continued my wuxia kick last night :)
Swordsman II 6/10
One of the most poorly subtitled I’ve ever seen, Swordsman II begins with a disillusioned Ling and his brethren seeking a life of quiet solitude on some remote mountain. Unfortunately a eunuch/chick named Asia the Invincible read a sacred scroll, Bobitized himself and now rules the Sun Moon Sect with supernatural powers. Producer Tsui Hark revamped the cast given the disappointment of the original Swordsman and Jet Li and company reward him for the effort. Beautiful women performing insane stunts abound, as Jet Li and company attempt to rid the world of the dreaded Asia the Invincible. While not the most accessible example of wuxia, it does feature two staples of the genre, fantastic swordplay and a plot so confusing it will make us all feel like window lickers and should be considered required viewing for those interested in Asian swordplay.
I continued my wuxia kick last night :)
Swordsman II 6/10
While not the most accessible example of wuxia, it does feature two staples of the genre, fantastic swordplay and a plot so confusing it will make us all feel like window lickers and should be considered required viewing for those interested in Asian swordplay.
Gotcha! I'm lookin for it right now!
Swordsman II 6/10
should be considered required viewing for those interested in Asian swordplay.
Only like them sometimes, I will give this a miss. :cool:
chicagofrog
02-28-05, 08:40 AM
My Tai Chi and Chinese Sword teacher recommended House of Flying Daggers...
House of Flying Daggers was visually breathtaking, but the ending was so dumb it overshadowed the good.
As for Creed looking for Swordsman II, I would definitely try to find Butterfly and Sword as well. A better film, plus it has Michelle Yeoh in it :)
Gojoe: Spirit War Chronicle 5/10
Visually impressive, Gojoe: Spirit War Chronicle offers an interesting spin on a traditional legend by pitting warrior turned Buddhist monk Benkai against the effeminate yet demonic Yo****sune, a deposed prince set on exacting revenge on the Heiki clan. Clocking in at a bloody two hours and twenty minutes, Gojoe is not for those short on time or faint of heart as its interesting premise is unfortunately lost amongst spurting blood (a good thing) and a seemingly never-ending story (a not so good thing).
Another good one Mose. ;)
Thanks... I think I need to start writing reviews of movies people may have actually seen though :) Might stimumulate a bit more conversation
LordSlaytan
03-01-05, 11:58 AM
Or write reviews for movies people will want to see because of your review. It gets old saying, "Thanks, Mose. Here's another one I never heard of that I'll make a point to not see."
chicagofrog
03-01-05, 12:28 PM
Thanx, Mose. Here's another one i kinda heard of that i'll make a point to see some day soon.
Slay, are you saying my review of Wake of Death didn't inspire you to see JCVD's latest cinematic endeavor?!? I am hurt ;)
LordSlaytan
03-01-05, 04:40 PM
Wak of who?
Just to be clear though...I like your reviews. I think you have a good voice for it.
Constantine 7/10
John Constantine (Reeves) uses his gift/curse of being able to see the angels and demons amongst us to send those who disrupt a mysterious balance back from whence they came as a means of purchasing his spot in heaven. And while much of Constantine’s theology and faithfulness to its source is open for debate, the wildness of director Francis Lawrence’s imagination is not. His bold visual style allow us to forgive many of his directorial debut’s shortcomings, most notably its confusing look at good and evil. Surprisingly Mr. Reeves’ performance did not piss me off and actually led to the creation of an addendum to my earlier proposed Keanu theory. In movies such as Constantine his incessantly vapid looking state allows him to achieve a serene, almost Zen like appearance that allows him to deliver the cheesiest of lines in the strangest of circumstances with an amazingly straight face, something even the greats struggle with.
Wimbledon 8/10
Paul Bettany plays a journeyman professional tennis player whose rank has dipped to 119th in the world. Convinced the game has passed him by he announces his retirement following that year’s British fortnight only to have his game and attitude change after meeting and falling in love with Kirsten Dunst, a female tennis pro on the upside of her career. Bettany’s natural affability infuses his character with so much warmth and likeability that we couldn’t help but cheer for him as he woos the oh so lovely Ms. Dunst. It is their chemistry, combined with the film’s solid supporting cast and some incredible camera work from director Richard Loncraine that allows us to overlook the sport and romance clichés prevalent throughout the story and turns this would be generic romance into a must see for the non-cynical amongst us.
SamsoniteDelilah
03-03-05, 12:56 AM
Wimbledon 8/10
Paul Bettany plays a journeyman professional tennis player whose rank has dipped to 119th in the world. Convinced the game has passed him by he announces his retirement following that year’s British fortnight only to have his game and attitude change after meeting and falling in love with Kirsten Dunst, a female tennis pro on the upside of her career. Bettany’s natural affability infuses his character with so much warmth and likeability that we couldn’t help but cheer for him as he woos the oh so lovely Ms. Dunst. It is their chemistry, combined with the film’s solid supporting cast and some incredible camera work from director Richard Loncraine that allows us to overlook the sport and romance clichés prevalent throughout the story and turns this would be generic romance into a must see for the non-cynical amongst us.
Wow.. that's high marks from you. I like Paul Bettany. A lot. Did you see the one where he's a priest turned actor? If not, I recommend you check it out. You will not believe what Willem DeFoe does with his own body. ANyway, Bettany is great in it. He's a very intelligent actor and it shows.
D'yer Mak'er
03-03-05, 02:33 AM
Constantine 7/10
:eek: Holy Jesus. This is probably the most surprising rating I've seen you give in your review thread. I knew you would be putting a review of it in your thread, but not for any other reason than pouring sh*t on it. What happened to you China?
The film reminded me of End Of Days[1999] and how destructive the combination of religion and action can be. It's a pity that such a cool comic and potentially interesting plot had to be ruined.
By your system I would give the film a 2/10. A large reason for this is Keanu Reeves.
Wow.. that's high marks from you. I like Paul Bettany. A lot. Did you see the one where he's a priest turned actor? If not, I recommend you check it out. You will not believe what Willem DeFoe does with his own body. ANyway, Bettany is great in it. He's a very intelligent actor and it shows.
Well, you should probably keep in mind I am a hopeless romantic who loves sports movies and is a big tennis fan. Kind of puts things in perspective :)
As for Bettany... he just comes across as such a likable guy without that floppish annoyance we sometimes find with Hugh Grant. I have not seen the movie you discussed, but will be looking it up... I expect big things from Mr. Bettany in the future :)
On a related note, a friend pointed out the true moral of the story to me... If you have sex with Kirsten Dunst you get better at tennis. I think I should call and see if she's available for 'doubles' before Spring hits :D
:eek: Holy Jesus. This is probably the most surprising rating I've seen you give in your review thread. I knew you would be putting a review of it in your thread, but not for any other reason than pouring sh*t on it. What happened to you China?
The film reminded me of End Of Days[1999] and how destructive the combination of religion and action can be. It's a pity that such a cool comic and potentially interesting plot had to be ruined.
By your system I would give the film a 2/10. A large reason for this is Keanu Reeves.
I think roles like this are made for Keanu... As I said in my review, his blank, window-licker like expression (minus the drool coming out of his mouth) allows him to keep a straight face in the strangest of times... Add Ms. Weisz into the mix and you have my attention.
Of course I have always been interested in theology, the occult, etc. so it should come as no surprise I enjoyed a reasonably well done movie centering around that subject matter. The visuals alone earned it at least a 4.
Dream a Warrior 5/10
If crack had been invented back in the day, and if Shakespeare had been an addict, Romeo and Juliet might have turned out something like Dream of a Warrior. This whacked out tale of love involves time travel, guns, swordplay, attractive Asian women, shape changing warriors, and a dystopian/utopian future/past. If that synopsis fails to make sense then you might have some idea of how I feel after watching this ambitious, yet thoroughly strange film.
7 Grandmasters 7/10
If you have fond memories of watching Sunday morning kung fu as a youngster and want to scratch that nostalgic itch while watching a surprisingly good movie, then 7 Grandmasters is the movie for you. An aging kung fu master of the Pei Mei style has been awarded the title of champion only to receive an anonymous challenge upon announcing his retirement. He sets out to confront the 7 provincial champions to prove once and for all that he is the best. Along the way he picks up a tenacious Jackie Chan wannabe and faces an old rival. Unlike many of its contemporaries, 7 Grandmasters transcends its low production values to achieve fame for more than its unintentional comedy. In terms of all out old school chop socky goodness 7 Grandmasters nonstop action and well choreographed fight sequences cannot be beat.
Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning 4/10
This prequel to the successful Ginger Snaps series finds Brigitte and Ginger taking refuge in a besieged fort set during 19th century Canada. Solid makeup fx aside, the movie fails due to the screenwriters disregard for what made the first two films so entertaining and a blind insistence on recreating the wheel. The special bond between the two sisters, the crux of the series’ success, feels forced here, almost as if it had been thrown in during a rewrite after someone realized the mistake. The plot, which granted, isn’t the most important aspect of a horror movie falters as the first hour of the film is used to set up the final 30 minutes. Normally this would be fine except this is the third in a series of film and we all know by know what it is that goes bump in the night. The slow build up does nothing to create tension and instead bored yours truly, never a good sign for a horror flick. The Indian mysticism was an interesting twist on what is a now familiar plot and the director took advantage of his atmospheric setting, but these pluses seemed like a case of too little too late.
Sideways 5/10
Writer/director Alexander Payne has made a career of using humor to detail the more fallible side of our everyday lives and does so once again in Sideways, a story about two friends with little in common on a wine tasting trip. Like his earlier works (About Schmidt and Election) I failed to see much of the humor, nor did I connect with either of his central characters whose morally bankrupt behavior (Church’s in particular) gave me very little reason to. On the brighter side, it was nice to see Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh cast in a movie receiving so much critical acclaim. Hopefully we will be seeing more from these two women in the future. Like many of today’s more cosmopolitan films, Sideways made the country boy in me feel as if I was hanging out with a big city jackass who insists he’s sensitive and intelligent while berating a poor waitress for not knowing the difference between Pinot and Merlot.
Lance McCool
03-08-05, 03:08 PM
Nice reviews, although I disagree with you about Sideways.
Down and out with a nasty cold but I did manage to write a few reviews.
Jaws 9/10
After almost drowning while on vacation in Florida my babysitter decided to treat 12 year old me one to of the most frightening movies of all time, Jaws. Needless to say, I’m still not a big fan of lakes and absolutely refuse to swim in the ocean. As the original Fat Bastard (John Pinette) says, “**** bites you in the ocean!” Much of what was once considered serious now comes across as being humorous to those of us who grew up watching the countless imitations and parodies spawned by the films success, though I was surprised to find the hokieness only makes the film even more endearing. Still, there’s little doubt that Jaws remains an effective horror movie filled with rich characters and will forever be remembered as the movie that launched director Steven Spielberg’s career into the stratosphere.
Bio Zombie 3/10
If you’ve ever been inebriated and wondered what would result from a mix of Clerks, Dawn of the Dead and a host of whacky Asian horror flicks let not your heart be troubled, this and many other of life’s puzzling questions have been answered in Bio Zombie. All kidding aside, this mishmash of clichés stars two lazy VCD store clerks, Woody Invincible and Crazy Bee, who unwittingly release a zombie plague upon their mall. What begins as a horror comedy (Think Dead Alive and Return of the Living Dead) eventually succumbs to the temptation of trying to be a real movie and becomes a little too serious for my liking as it wraps things up. Add in some very bad makeup affects and terrible dubbing (Ditzy surfer dudes from Cali as Hong Kong mall clerks, WTF?) and you have a pretty disappointing movie, though I’ll admit I am in the minority on this one after talking to various Internet buddies. Be forewarned though, if you don’t already know whether or not you enjoy Asian horror I recommend you stay as far away from this one as possible.
The Incredibles 8/10
Long time readers of the site know that for some odd reason I often enjoy a movie more after watching it at home as opposed to the theater. The Incredibles was yet another case of this happening. For some reason the characters seemed more real (I know, it’s animated), the humor funnier, and the satire much more crisp the second time around. Is this because I’m not a big fan of people and don’t enjoy public movie going experiences? Perhaps I was traumatized as a child and have repressed the memory? Or maybe it’s because I have a kickass sound system that really takes advantage of DVD’s like the Incredibles? More than likely the actual reason (and the one most would agree with) is that I am simply an antisocial idiot. Regardless, this fun story of a loving, though troubled family of super heroes forced into the Superhero Relocation Program with the promise of never acting super again never feels like an animated feature, but rather a live action tribute to the super heroes of yesteryear. Director Brad Bird, as he did in the criminally ignored Iron Giant, deals with adult themes in a satirical fashion likely to be missed by younger moviegoers while still managing to convey the central themes of family and being true to ones self in a manner able to be understood by all. Seamlessly weaving together humor, action, and suspense Bird has created a timeless family film and yet another hit for Pixar.
Bloodsport 8/10
It’s never a good sign when the best acting in a movie can be credited to Bolo Yeung’s dancing pectoral muscles. Fortunately Bloodsport isn’t meant to be taken seriously and the subsequent result is a classic B action movie filled with bad acting, marginal fight sequences and 1980’s cheesiness at its finest. Based on the rather dubious real life exploits of Frank Dux, Jean Claude enters the illustrious Kumite martial arts tournament in the hope of honoring his dying sensai, a Japanese martial arts master (played by Chinese actor Roy Chiao. You’ve just gotta love Hollywood!) who initially trained The Muscles from Brussels to be his son’s punching bag.
Thanks yet again to the traumatized, antisocial, big cheese of Toefuzz. :cool:
Flight of the Phoenix 5/10
A group of air crash survivors are stranded in the middle of the Gobi dessert with little hope of rescue and dwindling supplies. Realizing their time is limited they turn to the goose stepping, bleached-blond hair sporting, Giovanni Ribisi who does his best to impersonate an S.S. officer as he leads them in constructing a new plane from the wreckage. Featuring paper thing characters and little to no suspense, director John Moore’s remake of what I consider to be a classic has little going for it other than its solid visuals. If you are in the mood for The Flight of the Phoenix do yourself a favor, listen to the Johnny Cash song that opens the film, watch the plane crash and at the 20 minute mark put in the original.
Heh, loved the Bloodsport review ;)
If you are in the mood for The Flight of the Phoenix do yourself a favor, listen to the Johnny Cash song that opens the film, watch the plane crash and at the 20 minute mark put in the original.
ok :D
Sedai: If I remember correctly you aren't too much older than me so I feel safe in betting Bloodsport was considered required, and constant viewing, in your formative years... A classic, but not in terms of how good it was... Nostalgia plays a big factor :)
Nebs: Definitely watch the crash sequence... Top notch, and Cash is was and will always be the man... Then watch my man Jimmy tear up the original.
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead 7/10
This slow moving (or methodical if you’re an optimist) piece of modern noir stars Clive Owen as an unkempt nomad trying to escape his past only to be drawn back to London after his brother suddenly takes his own life. While best known for his 1971 gangster piece “Get Carter”, director Mike Hodges first came to my attention while watching 1998’s “Croupier.” Like “Croupier”, “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” finds him working with Clive Owen, one of the most underrated actors working today. It’s Owen who makes the film successful, oozing charisma in every scene, no matter how much dirt and grime he’s buried beneath and helping us to overlook the film’s flaws. Those looking for the latest Michael Bay disaster had best look elsewhere. “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” was made for those of us who expect a bit more from a film and are willing to put in the effort necessary to appreciate such an effort.
Greetings all... I doubt many of you have noticed, but I haven't been around much as of late... The reason behind this was a troublesome cable internet installation... Well I'm back online and my connection simply flies now! It's amazing, I went from 1.4k per second to over 200k... Yeah baby! Plus, I set up a wireless network in my house so now I can post on mofo while 'dropping the kids off at the pool'... if you know what I mean :D
Sin City http://www.toefuzz.com/stars/3%20half%20stars.gif
Never before has a comic book (or graphic novel if you prefer) been brought to the big screen with such panache. Co-directors Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez have created a dark neo-noir world populated by relentlessly cruel and violent individuals who talk as if they were in a Mickey Spillane novel. Set against a backdrop of stunning visuals the film’s story is divided into three loosely connected vignettes. I really don’t want to reveal much of the plot, but will say Sin City is not for the faint of heart. Special note goes out to Mickey Rourke who turns in an incredible performance beneath a prosthetic face.
Note - I have switched over to a 5 star system for a couple of reasons... 1) It might help down the road if Chris decides to integrate everyones reviews into the site more and 2.) this way I can have neat little graphics on my site :)
Hello... is this thing on? ;)
The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension
As best I can tell, after defeating their planet’s version of Hitler, the Black Lectroids (good guys, I think) from Planet 10 banish him and his followers, the Red Lectroids to the 8th dimension. Unfortunately he escaped and now inhabits the body of Dr. Lizardo. In order to ensure his demise, The Black Lectroids threaten to annihilate Earth unless part time neurosurgeon, rock star, nuclear physicist, modern day samurai and all around good guy Buckaroo Bonzai stops him. Perhaps the cheesiest movie of all time, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension features an outstanding supporting cast (most notably John Lithgow chewing up scenery like Oprah at an all you can eat buffet), a ridiculously incomprehensible series of subplots, and enough 80’s fashion to satisfy the androgynous Boy George. Deserving of its cult status, TAOBBATED should be considered required viewing for anyone who grew up in the 80’s or is looking for mindless, though thoroughly confusing fun.
http://www.toefuzz.com/stars/3%20stars.gif
Strummer521
04-03-05, 11:23 PM
That sounds so crazy that I've got to see it. :) Btw I like your style of reviewing, short and sweet. :)
Thanks... Yeah, Buckaroo Bonzai is definitely a trip.
Elektra
As Mrs. Mose will attest, I have a slight predisposition to enjoying all things Jennifer Garner. Unfortunately she is out of her element here and is unable to play a convincing heartless ice princess who has bangs. I mean really, why in the world did they give her bangs?!? This pet peeve is a symptom of a larger problem, the general incompetence of just about everyone involved with Elektra. Sure the effects and a few of the fight scenes were well done, but the underdeveloped characters and storylines were enough to annoy even yours truly, and if you’ve read the site before you’ll know I’m not exactly the most discerning of movie goers.
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Lance McCool
04-06-05, 06:39 PM
Nice review, Elektra did suck...
I won't say I was disappointed... I really didn't expect much from it, but after watching the first season of Alias I had hoped the lovely Ms. Garner would be able to elevate to 'watchable' status... Unfortunately I was wrong :(
House of Flying Daggers
Being a fan of the Wuxia genre (loosely translated as martial arts chivalry) and director Zhang Yimou’s previous foray into the world of stylized kung-fu, I had high hopes for “House of Flying Daggers” and midway through the film I had not been disappointed. Its gorgeous cinematography and outstanding cast (led by Takeshi Kaneshiro and the beautiful Ziyi Zhang) elicited obvious comparisons to “Hero” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. Unfortunately these comparisons soon faded from memory as “House of Flying Daggers” outstanding production values and Zhang’s brilliant use of color were rapidly overshadowed by a plot that rang hollow and an ending that defined the word ridiculous.
5/10
Hey, someone who agrees with me! This is exactly what I thought. I wanted to like this movie. And I did, for about an hour. Then the absurdity set in.
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