Pyro's Piss poor review

[Pyro Tramp]

I decided to attempt a review, so here it is. I've choosen to review Happiness of the Katakuris as its such a unique genre bending movie, i think people here should definately see it.
http://www.splattermac.com/films/happiness_of_the_katatkuris.jpg

Directed by Takashi Miike, the man who directed Audition and Ichi the Killer so before you start to get the wrong idea, this film is nothing like them, in fact it's a musical. I'll be honest and admit i didnt really understand the films plot, but i dont think i was meant to.
It begins with a claymation scene where a woman orders some soup and finds a demon in which comes out of the soup, the film transfers into claymation and the devil falls in love and then rips out the womans uluva. Then there's a life cycle where the devil is eaten by a crow which is then killed by a evil teddy bear. Odd, yes. Then there's some more randomness and suddenly we are introduced to the Katakuris.
The Katakuris are a family who run a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere that has no guests. Their first guest commits suicide and instead of reporting this they decide to bury the body. There's a couple more comic deaths which are buried and the final death is of Richard, the daughters latest love. He was pretty cool, the most memorable character, and the 'I Love You' song and dance is undoubtedly the highlight of the film. I wont ruin the twists of his character, though they aren't major factors in the narrative. After this i don't really know whats happens, a guest turns nasty, the police arrive and the volcano they are situated under erupts. THis is followed by more clay-mation as they carry the guest house away from the volcano (??).
I think for this film being so frighteningly unique alone makes it a must see. Saying that, its not for all, but a sure treat for those who do see it. It may not be the Sound of Music but heck, it's a riot. All in all a film that has something for everyone and one you wont see in the multi-plexes anytime soon.

Overall 8.5/10

[SamsoniteDelilah]

Are there any midgets?

[Sedai]

Cool review.. I just picked up "The Eye" yesterday, but have yet to watch it. Now I can add this one to my list of asian cinema to see. :)

[Anonymous Last]

I thought I saw something about midgets....(where?)

[Piddzilla]

I don't think your review is piss poor.

[joshuafor]

Interesting choice of genre....and, nice review

[Tea Barking]

Good review, sounds very weird gana have to see this film.

[Pyro Tramp]

Thanks, errrm although there are numerous odd folks in it, i think midgets are in the minority. As for the piss poor, i didnt want to blow my own trumpet (1st review n'all) and i liked the alliteration

[Anonymous Last]

It's a good first review...nicely done!

[Pyro Tramp]

Well, if anyone wants to read this, i have a few Asian treats to share with y'all. I'll keep the reviews brief and simple.

Takashi Miike is one busy man, churning several films a year. Of course, this would lead one to believe they're rushed and, well bad. Luckily, as far i can see, this is not the case and in my opinion, the highlight of his career so far has to be this film....

Bird People in China (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0142181/)

http://homepage.mac.com/vanvdo/images/Bird-people-in-China.jpg

The film serves as an interesting contrast against the seemingly excessively violent reputation Miike has garnished. If you've seen any of his films, you probably wouldn't believe the same guy made this exsqusite film.

The plot involves two opposite characters, a Yakuza and a business man. It's relatively simple, the business owes the Yakuza money, so our two characters are both sent to China to retrieve rare jade from a mountain village and*repay* the Yakuza debt. This basic plot outline is essentially irrelevant. As each character realises they're both stuck in the same boat, a bond forms, especially after their guide suffers a campfire accident. The film is a true study of character, not to mention wholly beautiful. To explain the title, when we reach the village the locals believed their ancestors could fly, as such there are flying schools etc. Each character embraces this new culture, the Yakuza even reforms and chooses to live there, although goes slightly mad. I won't spoil it but he doesn't allow the business man to leave with the jade as it would bring development to this untouched society. The film is also full of quirky humour, the mini van section of the journey is a fine example of Miike's comic ability. There are a some some scenes of violence, a Yakuza shoot out and an animal massacre, although gory, none of these reach the violent depravity of his other films.

Much of the films reloves around the character interactions, thankfully the acting is spot on. As well as this, every shot is lush and the screen oozes with beauty, a far depature to oozing with blood. Admittedly i do feel a lot is lost in translation. The culture clash of China/Japan and the languages went over my head a bit, however you can still appreciate the isolation. In terms of a Miike film, this is his most unique in my opinion. While Happiness of the Katakuris mingled genres, it kept a lot of his signatures and visual styles however this is just awe inspiring and unlike any of his other films (that i've seen). A real treat to anyone who sees it, and the ending is heart-warming and breathtaking.

9.5/10

[Aniko]

Nice review Pyro! I enjoyed reading it. :)

[Pyro Tramp]

Review #3

Tears of a Black Tiger (Wisit Sasanatieng, 2000)

http://www.ukquad.com/tears.jpg

Now, i'm not ashamed to say this is probably the 1st Thai film i've ever seen, hopefully it won't be my last.

The film has the standard love story plot, and well that's about it as far as plot goes. It takes a lot of the codes and conventions of the Western genre, especially visuals. Whether or not it actually IS a Western is another question, it certainly looks like one.

A problem with this film was if it actually was tongue in cheek, or deadly serious. My bet's on the first. Bearing in mind the costumes (including an especially dubious moustache) and theatric sets, it's hard not to laugh at some of it. That said, there is some generous helpings of violence, contrasted with the love story. The film is highly plaesing on the eye, with some equally lush and garish settings and shots. My favourite would have to be the river turning red.

Overall, a mixture of comedy, violence and romance in a odd blend of Thai and West cultures. Over the top, and humouress shootouts with oddball characters help to create one of the zaniest films i've seen.

7.5/10

[Pyro Tramp]

Gozu (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361668/) (2003, Takashi Miike)

http://www.facets.org/Images/gozu.jpg

Gozu is initially an accessible and interesting Miike film. It begins with mild humour and the introduction of a 'crazy' Yakuza boss- Ozaki, in one scene throwing a small "yakuza attack dog" against a restaurant window (lol). The humour initially presented is slightly lost towards the end, at least i hope it is.

The film is very similar to Twin Peaks, the small town full of quirky inhabitants, but where the TV series format allowed us to recognize and emphasise with this variety of characters over the time of the series, a 120 minute film simply isn't long enough to develop such a diverse set of characters. This was the initial flaw i found in the film, characters would be built up and appear in a scene, and they are presented well and undoubtedly they have a rich and colourful personality but this is briefly touched upon, leaving us wanting more that we never actually get. Then these character are just disregarded for the rest of the film.

The aforementioned yakuza, Ozaki, is being driven and about to be killed (unknown to him) by his close brother- Minami. A long the way the boss dies of natural causes. The brother, Minami drives to the Twin Peaks-esque town but the body disappears. What follows is a dragged out yarn of Minami doing some detective work and meeting the useless and quirky characters. A notable scene is the cow-headed yakuza (Seen on poster) dream and although i was expected this character to be in a more primary role, it was still a sick, and slick scene. Later a woman appears, claiming to be Ozaki, i'll be honest and admit i didn't really understand what was going on here. She convinces Minami with intimate knowledge only he'd know, though no-one else believes it, including the head yakuza and she/he goes back to his place, wink wink, again no idea why.

Now we're moving towards the end, it gets really ****ed. The boss can only 'pitch his tent' with a strategically placed ladle (just see the film). Minami, naturally strives to prevent his brother having intercourse with the mob boss, and this culminates in a sticky and electricrifying death scene. Ahh, it's all resolved. Ozaki isnt really Ozaki and Minami can express and release his sexually feeling towards her (Minami has problems you see, one of which is he's a virgin). After banging her something appears to have gone wrong... yeah, did you forget it was a Miike film?

I'll leave you in suspense as to what happens but i've made all my flatmates watch it, and their reaction was quality. Hopefully you'll see the film and get the disturbing shock I had. The film is good, despite being slightly over ambitious and dragging in places. It does seem like an exercise in Miike experiment with character and creating a more mainstream film, until the end that is. Overall, if you like Twin Peaks, it's an interesting Asian take and anyone who likes to be shocked should too, enjoy it.

7/10

[Pyro Tramp]

Lone Wolf and Cub, Sword of Vengeance (Kenji Misumi, 1972)

http://shopping.yahoo.com/video/images/muze/dvd/sm/17/226517.jpg

Ok, now I havn't seen any 'classic' Samurai films (i.e. the works of Kurosawa) but this film is damned good. To be honest, one of my few experiences of the genre is Shogun Assassin, of which this was edited into. But anyway, the action scenes are fly, the acting just good enough to not let it slip into the cheese and Ogami Itto is safe as ****. That's not to say it doesn't have its problems, the fractured narrative was at times confusing, drifting into flashbacks with little warning or few pointers.

Overall, I reckon you should see it if you hold even a dwindling interest in the samurai films. Kitano's Zatoichi come close to this, but Sword of Vengeance takes the biscuit. Roll on the rest of the series.

10/10

[nebbit]

Thanks for the reviews trampy, I have added a few to my must see list, it is so long now, thanks a lot. :rolleyes:

[Pyro Tramp]

Which ones you added Nebs?

[Anonymous Last]

I don't wanna judge a book by it's cover...but this one looks like it's going to leave a nasty stain. I must see it!


http://www.facets.org/Images/gozu.jpg


Thanks man!

[nebbit]

Which ones you added Nebs?

Well all of them. :cool:

[Pyro Tramp]

Cheers guys.

Ahh Gozu, Mr Last, i'd be very intrigued as to your what your feelings are after seeing it. Last person i leant it to got really really angry at me, lol.

[Pyro Tramp]

Into the Mirror (Seong-ho Kim, 2003)

http://www.e-m-s.de/cover-large/into_the_mirror.jpg

Although this horror film comes from Korea, it still adheres to the same formula which Ringu created and used so well.

In case you havn't seen Ringu and don't know this pattern i'm talking about its consists of a unique and supernatural force, killing, our hero and often a cynical partner investigating, a family secret revealed and a confrontation then a twist. The unique aspect here is the villian comes through mirrors to kill, oooh.

TBH, when the typical Asain horror formula emerged i rather gave up hope and lost interest. The first few deaths aren't particularly scary or well done, though that's not to say the film isn't intelligent. It has some interesting moments, not including the poor twist, or most the formulaic plot. The mirror aspect has some interesting touches and anyone who has an interest in Asian horror would probably enjoy it. It doesn't rank up high with The Eye or Dark Water and probably won't get the American remake treatment but as i said, it's not too bad for a quick watch.

6/10

[nebbit]

Thanks pissy, oh sorry i mean Pyro ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Infernal Affairs (2002)
http://www.hotpress.com/movielounge/images/infernal_affairs_1024.jpg

Perhaps my most delayed review, as i've been into this movie for quite a while now. If anyone needs a starting point in Hong Kong cinema, then this is it. It's a fine example of a film that's neither comedy or martial arts, genres which most people associate with HK.

The plot is painfully simple when you think about it, a police mole in the Triads (Tony Leung) and a Triad mole in the police (Andy Lau), each trying to find out who the mole is. With this narrative it excells, a favourite scene is when the Leung follows Lau out the cinema- Lau knows he's being followed by the mole, and Leung knows he's following Lau however neither can look each in the eye lest reveal thier identity, pretty tense, and intelligent, something lacking in many Hollywood films. Both play the opposing side for a while, but when Leung's police boss is killed, he's really on his own, especially as the cop to bring him is Lau. Tony Leung simply excells in his role and it furthers my opinion that he's one of the best actors around. Lau is also suitable scheming and evil, and when his fake world starts to crumble he manages to convey many emotions and create a fantastic conflicting view of his character. A bonus on top of these perfomances is brilliant support from the character's superiors, both are friendly yet coniving, supportive yet aggressive.
Ok, so the story is invigorating and the perfomance's are perfect but the cinematography is also beautiful. Any fans of Wong Kar Wai, will be interested and delighted to know of Christopher Doyle's input. The climax atop a skysraper is moody and charming and is the perfect end to this tale. I won't spoil the twist but it's avoids the Hollywood cliche of a glorified shoot out and totally rocks.
It's hard to find fault in this film, it borrows a rather Western approach and does have a similar feel to Micheal Mann's Heat, although is just as good in it's own right. The eternal conflict the characters suffer from leading split lifestyles is played just right, there's no overly dramatic scenes, the perfomances tell enough. One mild criticism is the echoes of John Woo's Hard Boiled, where Leung is in an almost identical role but its too minor to worry about. There a a few leads to the following additions to the series (a brief note on them later) which seem a bit out of place.
Overall, I thought it was a wonderfully crafted, tense, intelligent and most importantly exciting film. Must see!

10/10

In regards to the remake, my main worry is the choice of actors, as good as they maybe, will be hard to top Leung and Lau. In other remakes, the original performances have been mainly adequate hence, change didnt matter as much. And the film doesnt recquire much cultural capital so its appeal extends to most, imo. I hope Scorsese has just used Infernal Affairs' concept as a spring board for The Departed and doesn't make a carbon copy.

As mentioned, here's a brief note on the prequel/sequels. Infernal Affairs 2 provides some interesting background on characters despite the rather to eager to confuse plot like the intelligent original, or maybe it was just me. Both 2 and 3 use the original cast (Lau and Leung), though not to the best effect. It serves mainly as linking background to the 1st and for star appeal. The 3rd concludes the series with SPOILER:
Lau's takedown. Although the climax was good, and Lau played the part perfectly again, I feel there was too much added to 3 and it tried to avoid falling into the rather irrelevant nature of 2 by creating a bigger story, which perhaps would work on it's own but didn't gel that well into the grander narrative.
Infernal Affairs 2: 6/10
Infernal Affairs 3: 5/10

[nebbit]

Thanks for the review Pissy ;)

[hobbledyhips]

Nice one! I think Katakuris definitely merits more than one viewing, as the first one generally spawns a WTF is going on kind of feeling. The musical numbers are definitely the highlight. Really funny stuff, really charming, in spite of all the death.

I think I missed the midgets. They can get into those nooks and crannies in the blink of an eye though.

Tears of the Black Tiger looks very interesting, and Bird People in China. I must have a hunt for these two. Great picks!

[Tacitus]

a similar feel to Micheal Mann's Heat, although is just as good in it's own right.

Did you catch Mann's return nod to Infernal Affairs in Collateral?

Maybe I read too much into it...

[Pyro Tramp]

Did you catch Mann's return nod to Infernal Affairs in Collateral?


No, remind me....

[Tacitus]

Both feature shot-up bodies being dropped from a great height onto a red taxi.

See, maybe I was reading too much into it but when I saw the scene in Collateral, Infernal Affairs sprang to mind immediately. :)

[Pyro Tramp]

maybe I was reading too much into it

Yeah, maybe....

[Sedai]

Excellent Asian reviews, and cool to see someone reviewing Lone Wolf and Cub...

[Pyro Tramp]

Thanks, i got the DVD boxset, last one i saw was Babycart In Peril, the 4th i think and also the one IMDB quotes as being remade by Aronofsky. What's your fav Sedai?

[Sedai]

None of them. A friend of mine has some of the Dark Horse books, which I have perused...

[Pyro Tramp]

You referring to the comics?

[Sedai]

You referring to the comics? Yup. Big Frank Miller fan over here. Varley too. I remember the stuff being quite cool and well-done. Do you have the comics, as well? My friend is a MASSIVE Miller fan, and has everything Miller he can get his hands on, including the LWAC stuff. I tend to think Miller is at his best, art-wise, with the B&W stuff.

[Pyro Tramp]

Didn't realise Miller had anything to do with the LWAC comics, i'm only partially aware of them at all, the ones i knew are the Japanese ones writen by Kazou Koike and artist Goseki Kojima. Comics aren't widely available to me and they certainly aren't popular over here, i've noticed a few LWAC stuff on eBay though selling quite high. Ask your friend for some recommendations? Cheers

[Pyro Tramp]

Tetsuo: The Iron Man (Shinya Tsukamoto, 1988)

http://www.voodoovenue.com/images/DVD/tetsuo.jpg

Now, this film, or rather short film with a running time of 65 minutes, caught my attention due to the Black Sabbath song and the character Tetsuo from Akira. Although there's probably no actual link between these, they hardly prepared me for the shock that i received after this film was over.

Shot in black and white, it begins with a close up graphic shot of a metal fetishest (played by the director) slicing his leg open and inserting a metal pipe into it, it's a bold move, its sets the tone of unrepressed depravity and also high degree artistic editing and shooting. This man's wound becomes infected, removing bandages he sees maggots crawling in the wound, horrified the fetishest runs wild, and into the path of a car, driven by our protagonist Salesman. I think its the salesman, but either him or fetishest gets some metal in their brain. Plot is hardly an issue here, instead the narrative is progressed via imagery, with utter minimalistic use of dialogue. The lack of character development and interaction creates a foreign atmosphere, and the unexplained events and actions make watching this akin to having a nightmare.

As the 'plot' progresses, the salesman is attacked by a remote controlled (i believe) woman with a mechanical hand, this was by far the best moment, the stop motion creating a gliding movement for characters enhances it's nightmarish effect and the bizzare actions and chase just left me speechless, mainly through confusion. Now our salesman, is slowly becoming in iron man, after shaving and getting blade stuck in his face. A bizzare shot of a woman with a long tube extended from her groin is shown, and this tube then proceeds into salesmans anus, errrm yum... Salesman continues to mutate, his hands are metal and he has rockets (!) on his heels, but his girlfriend still makes love to him, that is until a further mutation- his cock becomes a drill, yes a moving drill. He forces his girlfriend onto him, despite her stabbing him in the neck, and she subsequentially is drilled and killed.

After this, it's revealed that salesman and his girlfriend, after killing the fetishest, dumped him in woods and then made love, explaining the previously random wood sex. Now the fetishest is back and has been controlling the salesman mutation and coming after him by being reborn via his dead girlfriend, i think. They both mutate with excellent stop motion and continue to fight, blasting around with their rocket feet, trying to mutate into each other, then a brief (random?) interlude of a bum (Renji Ishibashi for Miike fans) beating salesman up in a disturbing POV shot. Eventually the two merge into a phallice machine and decide to turn the world to metal. Charming.

Now the plot speaks for itself, much of the 65 minutes is close up shots of the slow and often perverse mutation into Iron Man. These are done marvelously, especially considering they were all homemade. The themes are very reminiscent of Cronenbergs The Fly and there are several Lynchian moments. Also the editing and selection of shots are all well chosen, and a real nightmarish world is created. It's hard to explain how slow close up shots can create a rivetting experience. To be fair, i was shocked and rather disgusting through most events- in the hard to look but can't look away style. Despite a meagre running time, you wouldn't want more, the highly stylised shots become over evident and slowly effect is lost with the impact. Although the moving mutation is stunning, some of the prosthetics are a little poor, helped by B&W, though still one of the few negatives.

It's still a stunning film, though a little random, you can either take the little plot as good in vien to Bunel and Un Chien Andalou, or it can be a criticism. Personally, i appreciated it the lack of plot explained through shots and not actions, though there was an actual plot, unlike Un Chien, and aspects have difficulty being understood. By far the most disturbing film i've seen, and memorable, though not the best film i've seen. Take it or leave it, laugh or hide, cheer or fear, love or hate. Try to see it.

9.5/10

[nebbit]

Um Errr thanks for the review ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

I quite fancy whacking a Kitano review out. Zatoichi seems too easy, i'm thinking Hana-B,i though i reckon i'll need to watch it again- the film's a beast. Any help Tacitus?

[Tacitus]

I was gonna give hana-bi a turn after my Sonatine review, but go for it. I'll switch to Kikujiro instead. ;)

Wonderful, wonderful film. As elegiac as Sonatine but with greater character development possibly (Murakawa has pretty much travelled his road by the time Sonatine opens, I reckon, which isn't a criticism) and lashings of guilt...

[Pyro Tramp]

I feel i missed much of what Kitano was saying, yet still enjoyed it. (Who is Murakawa?) I'm definitely going to need to watch it again, perhaps the rest of his work as well. Feel free to review it though.

I have Kikujiro on tape, still havn't watched it yet.

[Tacitus]

Murakawa is the central character in Sonatine. ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Gotcha ;)

[Strummer521]

Thanks for the review Pyro, I think I'll skip that one. ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Skip Tetsou?

It may sound weird, but it's a must see

[Pyro Tramp]

OK, forget Kitano (for now)- and moving away from Asia, this time we're in Spain for....

Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes)
(Alejandro Amenabar, 1997)

http://images.art.com/images/products/large/10077000/10077747.jpg


The plot for this film is tricky to explain while avoiding spoilers, its very jumbled and has a mixed chronology with events left unexplained. Now, trusting most of you have some experience with slightly more challenging films, this shouldn't be a problem- think Mulholland Drive only with an explanation.

The plot basically revolves around a handsome fellow (Cesar) who has many one night stands, however never sees the woman again. One night at his birthday party, one of his accomplishments (Nuria) is waiting, wanting more, Cesar rejects her and uses his best friend's (Pelayo) love (Sofia) to help avoid her. Sofia is reluctant to fall for his charm but as time turns, things change. His best friend Pelayo accepts their relationship in order to save their friendship. However, after spending a night with Sofia, the woman from the party, Nuria, is back, neither got any the night before so Cesar takes a ride with her. Unfortunately, the Nuria is psychotic and crashes the car, killing herself and disfiguring Cesar.

Cesar desperately tries to restore his looks however, it's near impossible. He rejects himself and becomes unhinged. He meets Sofia again, who, hardly knowing him, is a little disconcerted by his appearance. Sofia, Pelayo and Cesar meet in a club, with Cesar hiding his face behind a mask. He drinks himself silly and tries to rekindle the spark he and Sofia experienced at his party, only he makes a fool of himself and they all leave and go there seperate ways. Cesar eventually realises Pelayo and Sofia have met up again and are now seeing each other. In despair, he passes out, from the alcohol, on the street. This marks a change in the story that will make sense after watching it, so i'm reluctant to go into details. During all this time we have intercuts of Cesar being confined in prison with a psychologist (Antonio) claiming he's a murderer.

The twisty second half succeeds as an almost seperate film, while not alienising the 1st half. The mixture of character development and tense sci-fi mystery create a joyful mixture and are masterfully blended. The second half did take me by suprise and out of context seems a little un-original and stupid but it's so masterfully built up it seems completely natural. The acting, especially be Chete Lera (Antonio) gives a perfect reflection of the mixed emotions and confusion we should be feeling- grounding the surrealism in reality whilst Cesar is enlightened, becoming sane and Antonio in effect swaps roles, becoming the unhinged character. His character is a good point of identification as he articulates the thoguhts of the audience, as the mystery of Nuria appearing as Sofia and his ongoing nightmare is gradually revealed. Cesar's gradual downfall is potrayed excellently Eduardo Noriega, and Penelope Cruz gives great support showing the complex emotional range necessary to pity and love the disfigured Cesar, the weakest character was Pelayo who seemed to be neglected a bit unfairly.

The pace is maintained throughout, the occasional enigma thrown in keeps you on your toes, guessing the outcome yet it is kept perfectly subtle, giving no major pointers to any possible outcome. As i said, the what would normally be a cop-out cliched finale takes you by suprise and is built up so well and logically, it's just a fantastic ending. It also ends just when it should, some films tend to make an emotional impactful scene to end on, but then drag it out some and loose that punch. Open Your Eyes does it all right. Superb all round. A haunting and subtle sublime blend of genre.

10/10

In case you didn't notice, this has been remade as Vanilla Sky. I havn't seen it but am pretty sure in saying, you should see this one first. Penelope Cruz plays the same role, not sure if she flashes them in both, but she sure does in Open Your Eyes- so see it for that alone :p

[Pyro Tramp]

If anyone reads this, i'd appreciate some general feedback on my style, negative and positive.

[adidasss]

hmm...well i saw this movie some years ago ( well before the vanilla sky incident ) and was absolutely blown away by it, but i just din't see any moral message or emotional depth that you seem to speak off, i just saw it as a clear cut thriller...i didn't want to watch vanilla sky, because why would you really wanna watch the same thing only in english and with tom cruize, i hate remakes especially when they're made so recently after the original, and i hate the fact that vanilla sky made much more money even though abre los ojos is clearly superior.....

[Pyro Tramp]

I said emotional depth? I just loved the way Sofia looks at Cesar for the first time after the accident. She was disugsted but tried to hide it and gave a loving look, i just thought it was nice acting- her eyes said a lot.

[Strummer521]

The reviews are quite good but IMO, you tend to give away too much of the plot.

[Pyro Tramp]

Is that a problem?

[Strummer521]

Well its up to you, but you might be better off with a very general summary that keeps most of it under wraps rather than telling us the first half of the movie.

[Anonymous Last]

Is that a problem?

Stop! Collaborate and listen!
Strum is trying to treat the problem, not the symptoms.

*Stifles a tear drop!*

[SamsoniteDelilah]

Since you asked for feedback on your style, I will say I agree with Strummer. One paragraph is plenty, IMO, about the plot. I am interested, as a reader, in knowing your reaction to it. I can see the movie for myself. :)

[Pyro Tramp]

Cool, i get the picture. Thanks.

[Pyro Tramp]

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001)

http://www.sendit.com/img/video/cover/front-sorted/7000000/07/22/73.jpg

As a young film viewer, i rented this film in earnest on it's release, knowing nothing of Lynch and had little comprehension of the film. Years laters, at college, it seemed every media and film class had to screen this film to students at least once a year, slightly annoying when based on a previous viewing, i had no ****ing idea what it's all about. But, after choosing to watch it several more times (which are essential if you want to enjoy this film), it's becomes clear that the films a media students wet dream.

David Lynch comes under flack for making a film that has no clear, linear narrative, and can quite understandably be described as making no sense. The story begins with Rita, suffering from amnesia after a car crash, living with an aspiring young actress called Betty. The film plays out the set up as one would expect, trying to find Rita's past and love blooms. Along the way meeting several characters who seem midly irrelevant. The plot comes to halt and does a triple flip backwards in the last third, and this is where people get pissed. The characters rolls have been reversed, nothing of what we once knew exists, only minor threads linking the two universes.

For me, this is a master stroke of genius. Lynch manages to maintain enough structure for the threads between each section to be seen hance not making completely seperate and random films. A lot is down to personal reading, anyone can understand this film in anyway they like, there is no preferred reading. Which personally i think is great, it's a film truly for an active audience, who get what they give from the film. Of course, this is also the film's downfall, people unwilling to appreciate or try and create their own perception of the universes Lynch creates come away empty and annoyed. There are clues placed around, i like to think of the 1st section as a dream, which for me, explains most aspects.

As well as the great plot, the performances are spot on. Justin Theroux's two film directors are both the same yet different. All the actors, especially Naomi Watts and Laura Harring play their roles to a tee, the backflip and character reversal is almost perfect. From niave to heartbroken and desperate, and lost to cold and manipulating. The direction has to be good to make the film work, and Lynch succeeds. For fans it also has several of his trademarks evident. It has great cinematography. I feel it bears strong resembalance to Lynch's earlier Lost Highway and as a film maker he has improved on this considerably, making this the peak of his film making work, imo.

10/10


And if my review doesn't persuade you to watch this, it has hot lesbian action.

[Anonymous Last]

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001)

http://www.sendit.com/img/video/cover/front-sorted/7000000/07/22/73.jpg



And if my review doesn't persuade you to watch this, it has hot lesbian action.
Sold!

[Pyro Tramp]

Drunken Master (Yuen Woo Ping, 1978)

http://hkfanatic.com/jackie/movies/dm/images/drunken_master_dvd1.jpg

For me, this ranks alongside Shaolin Master Killer as the greatest martial arts film ever. Forget the over indulgent visual fests like Hero and Crouching Tiger, this is where it's at. It has the stereotypes you expect in the genre bought together in an unsurpassed martial arts epic. There's non of that high flying wire work, this is the ****.

http://www.kungfucinema.com/images/feature/2003-06-09-01a.jpg
Jackie Chan makes his breakthrough as the young Wong Fei Hung. The son of a kung-fu master, he has no respect, and while showing of to friends, he dishonours the family name by accidental incest. His outraged father tries to kill him, but his Aunt offers a diet of strict training courtesy of Beggar Su. WFH escapes and meets with an old drunk, who happens to be amazing at kung-fu. WFH later learns this old drunk is Beggar Su.

http://www.tvdance.com/drunken-master/sspicts/sam21.jpg

A lot of the film is training, however, it's all tongue in cheek and oftern very humouress, instead of dull and boring like many other similar flicks. WFH encounters a nemesis after fleeing from Beggar Su, Hwang Jang Lee (martial arts B-movie legend) setting up the final battle after the nemesis is given a contract on WFH's father. Fully trained, the best kung fu fight ensues between Chan and Lee.

http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/intrigue/images/2004/dec16/jackiechan19.jpg

The performances, although shaky and cheesy are just what you want. For best results, i reccomend watching with subtitles and the dubbing, some of the completely different translations are hilarious. Yuen Woo Ping (Kill Bill, Matrix) knows how to direct a fight scene, and the final fight is epic. It's great to see the training of the 8 Drunken Gods merge into a complete style. And of course the concept of Drunken kung fu is shown in it's full glory. Sweet premium wine! The fillers are ammusing and seeing the old Beggar Su roll around is a sight to see. And the film IS funny, it's not the cringe humour or the trying to hard, it's spot on, the 8th Drunken God Miss Ho, lol.



It's a shame kung-fu films aren't made like this anymore, even though set in a historical time, it still has all the awe inspiring action needed, without wires and CGI. For me, this is the peak in the genre. Anyone who likes lesser Chan films like Rush Hour etc, has an obligation to see this film.

See it with friends and some wine, and let the inevitable happen. 10/10

[SamsoniteDelilah]

Thanks for the reviews, Pyro! :up:

[Sedai]

Ya man, glad to see another Mulholland nut around. Good work!!

[nebbit]

Good work Pyro :up:

[Pyro Tramp]

Cheers, glad to know people actually read my reviews. Nebs and Sammy, you seen Mulholland Drive?

[Tacitus]

Nice one PT. By the way, did your copy of Mulholland Drive have no individual scene access? Mine doesn't, which is quite annoying...

[TheUsualSuspect]

I enjoyed your Mulholland Drive review, good job.

[Pyro Tramp]

Nice one PT. By the way, did your copy of Mulholland Drive have no individual scene access? Mine doesn't, which is quite annoying...


I'll be honest with you, i havn't actually watched my DVD of it yet :(

But i have read this is a technique Lynch uses on other DVDs to prevent skipping parts of the movie, so it's watched as a whole, as it "meant to be".

[Pyro Tramp]

The Region 1 DVD of the movie does not feature "chapters"; attempting to "skip" to the next scene or chapter takes you to the "DVD" logo animation at the very end of the movie after all the credits and ratings and so forth. Director David Lynch requested this himself, as he has done on previous releases, such as The Straight Story (1999). By allowing the film to be on one chapter, Lynch believes people will be more inclined to view the feature in one sitting, as intended. Robert Zemeckis also used this idea on his laserdisc release of Forrest Gump (1994).

[Pyro Tramp]

Undead (Spierig Brothers, 2003)

http://www.allthingszombie.com/images/movies/undead_a.jpg

You have to appreciate this film, that's whether you like it or not. The film is rather technical and polished considering budget and adds
some fresh elements to a rather, let's be honest, simple genre. The
sci-fi element was the most notable, and it gives a nice hybrid nature to the genre, the comedy, well, can't have everything. The special effects and CGI are, as mentioned, something to be in awe of, all home computers and their own budget etc. Though, where lack of budget forces film makers to be creative, much of Spierig Brother's finesse was lost or recycled later on.

When the films started, i was expecting a decent zombie flick, the
meteors and the gore were all initially really well done and
imaginative, even the first zombie attacks were fun. Though, it becomes clear, once the film takes off, the makers don't really know where they're going. The supposed cool outsider hero just looked like a numpty, there was no menace, no fear or respect in or for his
character. His plans and actions were inconsistent, 'we've been chosen to fight them..... so we'll hide from them in the basement'. The plot was weak. Much of the following action came repetitive and
uninteresting, OK, they won't die, lets shoot them anyway. There was one scene later on in the store that touched at the earlier finesse but sadly most of this scene was just copied from Peter Jackson.

The acting, while not great was agreeable. The characters just showed how poor the script was, there was no empathy or anything to make you give a damn about these people. There were a few decent one liners, though most dialogue falls flat on it's face, basically it wasn't funny, even the zombie fish were dumb. The direction in general was fine, there was nothing to make it stand out, or collapse. The character development was weak. The ending twist just sticks with the codes and conventions of zombie genre films and i mean the actual end. Though i did enjoy seeing that the protagonist was actually wrong about the whole thing, especially as he was a twat.

Overall, not a bad film, certainly one for zombie fans, though nothing
special or what it was hyped to be. In terms of technical value it's outstandingly well done and as for the genre ingenuity it's pretty good, but genre is nothing without script, and the script was just borrowed from other films. The film itself should have been 30 minutes shorter as pace did suffer. There are times when it seemed to try and be too big for it's shoes and most scenes are re-used, sadly. The fisherman was no Ash and the gore and violence pales in comparison to Braindead or Bad Taste. So to conclude, see Evil Dead or Braindead for A+ zombie films for fun, or see this, a less gratuitous zombie film with interesting mix of sci-fi and horror.

2_5

[Pyro Tramp]

National Treasure (Jon Turteltaub, 2004)

http://images.killermovies.com/n/nationaltreasure/gallery/poster.jpg

Im sure most the American mo-fos will be more than familiar with this, as it was no1 at US box-office a while i believe. It's just come out in UK and well, i dont think its going to enjoy the same success. Based on the content, the film is very pro America, it almost revolves on America's history, which isn't per se a negative but when it comes across as a tour guide it starts to become weak. This idea could have been interesting for a non-american citizen but i found it to be advertorial.

Nic Cage gives a decent perfomance, not anything special mind. I enjoyed Sean Bean having a big role in the film and NOT dying, as he seems to in most films. Nic's side-kick just reminded of Blade's in his second outting and Dianne Kruger (Troy) started as an almost interesting character but quickly descended into the stereotypical role most women potray in action films. Harvey Keital was criminally underused as was Jon Voight. Both gave average performances.

This was a kids film and aimed at that audience, and when realised, the banner changed from Touchstone to Disney, which should give some clues to content. I could have enjoyed this more, and i think under the surface, there was a more mature film trying to get out. A slightly darker edge and more threat from an almost comical villian would have helped drastically. I did enjoy the FBI/Cage boat escape, set-up scene (trying not to give to much away).
A major cripe i have with the film is that it seemed to lack a beginning, going from early childhood introduction, straight into the middle of the film. This did leave me somewhat disorientated, which is never a good start. Also, during the opening scenes, there's is a massive character change, and devolpment just thrown in your face with no tact what-so-ever- it's not natural, blatantly scripted. The start packs in all the introductions and set-ups into an un-easy fitting package then twists them.

Although, after this and when the films is fully underway, there's a lot of enjoyment to be had. Cage has a lot of charisma and i think there was some nice pacing, no moment was dragged out, particualrly. The ending was a little confusing, and if i didnt get it fully, i have no idea how its young target audience would.
To be fair, this isnt a bad film, even for audiences outside of USA. Several improvements, like Cages irritating thought processes could have been altered. They could this another go, with more focus on Sean Bean's character and a more developed villian all round, also a lot more attention on the FBI and Keital. Of course, this would leave less time for the actual treasure hunting, but i prefer it like that, seeing as when they reach the conclusion, the treasure becomes somewhat irrelevant.

Basically, to make this better, Disney **** off. And in the beginning, when they're on the boat, instead of Cage and side-kick surviving, they should have died, this would follow with Sean Bean, being British and devastating America's history and being bad, with Keital in pursuit.

As it is- 3

See Indiana Jones trilogy instead

[nebbit]

Thanks for the reviews Pyro, I won't be rushing out to see Undead :nope:

[Pyro Tramp]

Not even to support your local industry?

[nebbit]

Not even to support your local industry?
Ummmm http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/1.gif

[Pyro Tramp]

Star Wars Epidode 3: Revenge of the Sith (George Lucas, 2005)

http://fantasybedtimehour.com/episodes/images/ep3/tequila.jpg

2_5

Early note, i don't really understand the Star Wars political story, so the lack of plot i found in the early hours maybe due to this.

Basically, i appreciate what Lucas has done, and it does improve on aspects of Ep 1 & 2, and yes, the film is stunning to look at it- but that's about it.

The film begins with a huge space-fight. Ok, looks good, lots of ships, lots of action, though this sequence is set up only by the conventional introduction, which kinda left me to fill in the spaces, although i don't mind being active while watching a film, it did seem rather lazy and eager to show all it's cards in the opening moments. Anakin and Obi Wan are leading a rescue of Palpatine, this brings me to a question- why can't Hayden Christenson act? Lol, no. Why has Palpatine been captured? Maybe someone can answer me this. Perhaps it because the captures know only of him as a Sith Lord leader or it was to do with Anakin, but it's not explained. And the sequence is empty, i wasn't comfortable enough with the characters to care and the outcome was inevitable anyway.

And as i already mentioned it, the acting. It sucked. Anakin spends the whole film pouting like an angry teenager, hardly the solid Darth Vader. Sam Jackson (Mace Windu) got better after a shaky start and his showdown was possibly my favourite moment of the film. And not technically acting but Yoda, he was safe when he was a puppet, why couldn't he remain a puppet? Personally, its hard to emphasise with a green bit of cgi, Frank Oz also seemed to be lacking in the acting department. This brings me to another criticism, the lack of human actors- in particular Commander Cody, he's bloody cgi for most of his parts- what the hell's wrong with a real person? That really annoyed me, and the Wookies- i'm pretty sure they're all cg as well and why are they there? Their little narrative was poor and undeveloped, the only logic i could see was to use Chewbacca to link the III and IV for idiots and have another excuse for some action or the whole Episode VI ewoks thing. Also the new villian General Greivous, pointless. First of all- his cloak, what does he need to hide his indentity in case someone recognizes him or something? And why the **** does a robot have a cough- ok so he has some biological parts but he was just there, with bare relevance to the story and had no history or character to make him interesting in the slightest. Shoulda kept one of the few good actors- Christopher Lee to continue being the antagonist who instead was utterly wasted. And don't get me started on the banal dialogue:

Padme: " I wuv you wots and wots"
Anakin: " Padme, I wuv you more. you're purty"
Padme: " you wuv me"
Anakin: "I wuv you, you purty"
Blah blah blah....

And on a side note, Natalie Portman, fine specimen of a woman, looked terrible in this scene.

The thing with Ep 1 and 2 was they contained new and interesting narratives, which were able to develop characters. maybe there was a little too much of this and less action, but at least there were characters and there was a story. Sadly i felt this was lacking from 3. The first two hours were empty just a chance to show some fancy effects. It's only the towards the end they story emerges and I was given something to follow and engage with.

So I spent all this time complaining about the film, let me share some reason for seeing it- it is the final Episode (allegedly), the graphics are brilliant, despite being overused and Ian McDiarmid does a groovy job.

I don't aim to persuade you not see the film or to see it, as i'm sure you've decided already, or have seen it anyway. Just don't go praising it or comparing it to the originals. Yes, it has lots of action scenes, no Jar Jar Binks (bar one quick shot) and is more enjoyable then the prequels but that doesn't make it good. One can't complain for knowing what happens, who's going to die, who's going to live or the final conclusion, all I wanted was something with good acting, developed characters, strong sensical narrative, a 'darker' edge that doesn't just mean Anakin wears black (hey, look at that great hint- black costume, he's a baddie...duh). and kills some kids.
End of the day, want a film with good effects and good story see Lord of the Rings (especially as i'm sure Lucas ran out of ideas for an ending "hey that lord of the rings was successful, how did that end? huzzah- a volcano, that's where ours will end!") or just see the original 3. When Star Wars Epidode 3 ROTS (geddit'?) away and when the hype dies down, one can only pray producers will realise fancy effects alone don't make a film.

[Pyro Tramp]

Thanks for the reviews Pyro, I won't be rushing out to see Undead :nope:

Undead (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0339840/) is Australian, are you not also Australian?

[Tacitus]

I haven't seen Ep III, got no desire to. In fact, it took me until a few months ago to watch Ep II, which was one of the worst big budget films I've ever seen. ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Wolf Creek (Greg McLean, 2005)

http://sorenz.dk/Wolf%20creek%20poster.JPG


It's hard to watch this film and not be reminded of either The Hitcher or The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Wolf Creek takes from both these movies and fails to come up with anything other than a slightly unhinged Crocodile Dundee. Where the two aforementioned films succeed is with unrelenting pace, and intriguing villians. For a film that's trying to be nasty, the opening hour which is just a road trip is uneventful and does little to help. Character's aren't set up well, although that's clearly the intention, neither is the plot or menace, just some anectodes about alien abductions. Secondly, the villian, while he's played well, and pulls his role off, but there's no catch to his character, i'm not talking childhood trauma motives, just a bit more depth to his character.

The three backapckers are very uneven. Only one character seems real, the others are clearly scripted. One wakes to find herself trapped and tied, instead of screaming or being even a bit concerned she tries to escape, OK, but she then gives up though the 'key' was right in front of her the whole time. The Austrailian character runs into the Outback, he should know best that his chances of survival are slim. The one real character, despite shaky acting, shows the true horror of their predicament with manical giggling and screaming, very Marliyn Burns.

The film is shot with well and on HD, some of the ambient shots get a bit tiresome but it captures the emptiness of the outback well. It's certainly not an MTV horror movie, it's very gritty and revels in nastiness. Most is performed well, there's no major gore scenes, just a few moments of torture, which will make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, most the film will make you uncomfortable, it can get quite tense, not unbearably, but quite. It's good to see that the ending doesn't cop out, though it is 'based in true events'.

Overall the film takes to long getting of it's feet, with characters hard to believe in and subsequentially not care about. A romance is thrown in, though it's left totally unexpanded on. Some of the chases are tense and well shot, but it's not going to give you anything you havn't seen done better in other incarnations.

2

On a side note, if you approach it with a very open mind, and read into it, as i did, a little twist can be seen. I reckon that the killer was actually an alien, which explains some scenes from the film, especially as nothing says he can't be an alien. With that in mind, it gives the film some much needed depth.

[Tacitus]

I'll be honest with you, i havn't actually watched my DVD of it yet :(

But i have read this is a technique Lynch uses on other DVDs to prevent skipping parts of the movie, so it's watched as a whole, as it "meant to be".

Well, that's a load of bollocks which I haven't encountered since buying Prince's Lovesexy (yes, I was one of the few). And it's definately on the R2 disc too as I bought the thing in Tescos.

I've paid my money and I'll watch it how I darn well like...

Auteur! Auteur! (this should be in the complaining thread, I know :rolleyes: )

[nebbit]

Undead (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0339840/) is Australian, are you not also Australian?

Yes but I don't have to like every Australian movie, i met a guy at a party years ago, he told me about this zombie movie he had written, and they were making it into a movie, this must be it :eek:

[Pyro Tramp]

I wasn't sure if we were on the same page is all. Of course you don't have to like every Australian film. And wow, you know someone famous (ish)!

[nebbit]

I wasn't sure if we were on the same page is all. Of course you don't have to like every Australian film. And wow, you know someone famous (ish)!

Well not really, I just met him at a party, yes I know someone famous(ish) :laugh:

[adidasss]

who ever said that he didn't like star wars episode 3....i spit on your shoes....

[Tacitus]

who ever said that he didn't like star wars episode 3....i spit on your shoes....

Spit on mine then, big boy. They could do with a clean. :)

[adidasss]

*spits on tacitus's shoes*....there.....

[Tacitus]

*spits on tacitus's shoes*....there.....

Ackkkk! I forgot I was wearing suede... :(

[Pyro Tramp]

who ever said that he didn't like star wars episode 3....i spit on your shoes....


Get out of my thread boyo.

[adidasss]

make me!

[Tea Barking]

I don't remember a naked woman drinking a bottle of booze in starwars ;)
Lucas has gone to far with these special editions.

[Pyro Tramp]

I don't remember a naked woman drinking a bottle of booze in starwars

No, but it was the most interesting image Google offered :p

[Pyro Tramp]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

http://www.houseofhorrors.com/tcm2.jpg

Let me start by saying, don't compare this to the original too closely (although i will) in terms of it's overall low budget and dark tone. With that out the way you can start enjoying this comedy horror film. It's great to see a director take a sequel in a completely different direction to the original and create a fresh piece. The story is minimal, radio host hears some young idiots get killed and rumbles the police cover up of the chainsaw family's killing. Her only support is unhinged Dennis Hopper out for revenge.

Leatherface returns only plays for laughs over scares, as does the Hitcher's replacement Chop Top. The opening car scene is a great start and puts in the gore people didn't see in the first and marks a good use of the obviously increased budget. The radio host- Stretch starts to becomes a pain in the ass after a while and Hopper, while cool, really needed more screentime over her. She really didn't convince at all, her screaming began to grind but she had a great set of legs. On the brightside, the chainsaw family, despite somewhat small considering all work well individually though not so much as a whole.

There aren't many deaths but it has a wicked sense of humour including Stretch wearing her partners face while he stumbles around after being skinned alive. The main problem is it falls into repeating the original including the Grandpa scene which shouldn't have been there at all since it's a total rehash of the originals. As it descended into a long chase, i lost interest but i still enjoyed the rest. Any film with a chainsaw fight gets my vote, let alone a double chainsaw fight. It doesn't stand out against other horror films from the time but gets my recommendation if only for prooving sequels don't have to suck.

3_5

[Pyro Tramp]

Sha Po Lang

http://www.video.martialarts.ru/release/spl/sposter.jpg

Kind of like a cross between Infernal Affairs and The Untouchbles with a bit of kung fu though this story is given little time to develop or even really get explained. The cops are trying to take down criminal kingpin Sammo Hung by framing him for crimes, though he always escapes. Donnie Yen is set to take over the case and lead the rest of the team however the team have stolen some money unknown to their boss, which leads Sammo to hunt them down.

A lot of the film is jumbled up and too concerned with its internal logic and little time for character or plot development is given. Much of the beginning is ridiculously melodramatic so it's not until the first outbreak of violence that i paid much attention. Considering the cast, i was hoping for a lot more action instead it's more scenes of nothingness. The final showdowns with Donnie Yen do have ****ing amazing choreography, are shot really well and are certainly worth watching the rest of it for. However the police story really is nothing compared to a film like Infernal Affairs which has great pacing and characters, something SPL really needed to make half decent.

http://www.twitchfilm.net/pics/Sha_Po_Lang_TIFF.jpg

The film has a nice polished look and good atmosphere with sprinkles of dark irony. It's interesting to see the corrupt cop's justify their actions though as said, there's a lot of jumbling to really get a clear idea of what's happening. The lack of action scenes were a bit disappointing since there wasn't much else merit to be found in the film and the martial artists aren't exactly great actors. Sammo does own his role, mainly by brooding, which is about the only other good thing other than the fights. Basically something to watch when you've seen everything else in the police genre or if you're a Sammo or Yen fan because you'll definately get a kick out of the (few) awesome fights.

3

[OG-]

Good review of SPL. You had pretty much all the same complaints as I did.

And was it just me, or did the entire subplot of the cops stealing the money come out of nowhere? I wasn't sure if I had left the room or dozed off or something, but all of sudden the plot became about the stolen money and I missed that transition entirely.

But man, I loved the scene with them all in the station on Father's day and the stories of what they were missing out on. It was a tad melodramatic, but I thought that scene had a ton of potential to actually fill out a better movie on its own.

[Pyro Tramp]

Yeah, the plot was all over the place, definitely could have been a much better film.

[Pyro Tramp]

Peep Show

http://www.channel4sales.com/programming-and-schedules/images/peep-show.jpg

This is possibly my favourite comedy TV show ever, Friday nights out are based around staying in and watching it, it's that good. Set around the lives of two loosers, hard working Mark and lay about Jeremy. It takes a unique perspective, shot entirely with point of view shots, it's a bit of an obstacle at first but it works. It's quite weird when characters kiss but the best bit is hearing their innner thoughts, which are stupidly cringe worthy, dirty and often completely contradict the conversations.

Mark: [thinks] If he hangs himself over this I can stick an orange in his mouth and call it a fatal wanking accident.

The show's only enjoyed three series and is apparently being axed, which is a shame since it's never stopped being funny. Most episodes involve Mark trying to get with his work mate Sophie and Jez doing drugs with Super Hans. It shows quite a few real inner male thoughts, and the POV shots glimpsing at cleavage give a perspective on men's dirtiest nature and desperation. And it is ****ing hilarious. I'm not doing it justice here as it probably sounds like a male pervert show, and maybe it is but it certainly appeals to me and my peers (inc girls).

One thing i like about it is the lack of canned laughter, it relies on awkward laughter, random humour and sex gags. Most jokes really stem from the characters idiocy and embarassment. Some favourite moments are Mark falling in love with a guy and trying to decide if he's gay and one where Mark follows a student to her Uni. There's a lot of dirty jokes, so definitely NOT suitable for easily offended people, another reason why it's a popular student comedy. Here's a funny excerpt which pretty much summarises the humour :

Jeremy: [masturbating while looking at a "Fantasy Figure Modeller" magazine]
[thinks] I'm a dirty hobbit and she's a sexy elf so she might be... "Oh! You dirty hobbit. Take off my bodkin and my jerkin." "Oh, yeah... pixie ears. But that sword." What if she was a hobbit slayer? I'd just use my enchanted amulet. "Yeah. Yield to me, hobbit-slayer. You will touch my magic cock."

Obviously, that's not very funny to read, but when you watch it, damn it is.

On the out it's a really simple premise but never fails to make me laugh. If any of you American MoFos are slightly interested in a totally different comedy show, i really recommend hunting the DVDs down.

5

[Pyro Tramp]

Lucky Number Slevin

http://www.ioncinema.com/beta/images/upload/2979poster.jpg

A case of mistaken indentity leads Josh Hartnett's Slevin to be at the will of two rival mobsters, The Boss and The Rabbi (Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley). Along the way a romance with Lucy Liu blooms and an assassin, Good Cat (Bruce Willis) kills a few people.

The premise is fun and is well delivered for a time, ultimately you know the film's leading to some sort of twist and when this come the pace certainly slackens. Josh Hartnett really suprised me, i actually enjoyed his charismatic and laid back peformance. That is until his character became lost in the script. The eventual twist seemed over estimated, it was relatively simple, and i'd pretty much sussed it from the beginning but it was totally overplayed with unecessary flashbacks and time devoted to explaining it. Any opportunity to think was distinguished when they hand the twist to you on a plate.

The direction is smooth throughout though i was expecting more of an action film than a thriller. It's quite a short story, never really lifts it's feet, which helps keep focus though reduces it to a story hard really entertain on the level of say Usual Suspects. On the brightside, it's not pretentious. It has a dark edge and some good humour which had me laughing. The most annoying part was the romance and it's weak cliche finale, if they kept the shock twist of it, i would have rated this a lot higher instead they opt out for a happy ending.

Despite some downfalling towards the end, the rest is enjoyable. You really ride along with Slevin and his character is well writen. The biggest downfall though, is the somewhat undeveloped romance with Lucy Liu which really should have been cut or expanded on, to make it worthwhile. All the perfomances are spot on, Kingsley was slightly under used appearing in less than a handful of scenes. Overall the film is enjoyable to the end, pace needed tightening, probably more of a rental than something to rush out to see but all the same a fun film with some good acting from ensemble cast.

4

[Pyro Tramp]

Wtf? My thread's been moved.


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Pyro Tramp]

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/v3/Tests%20-%20Previews/SPE/Advent%20children/Logo.JPG

This review is coming from a player of the original PlayStation Final Fantasy VII and i'd imagine the main people who would watch this also played the game. It's hard to watch imagine the reaction a non player would have to the film but i know they wouldn't enjoy it as much.

http://images5.theimagehosting.com/kadaj%20fighting%20cloud%202.JPG

The plot is pretty poor to be honest, especially on first viewing, some new characters are trying to acquire the head of their Mother (Jenova). As far as i can work out, these villians are fragments of the will of the games villian, Sephiroth. The villains kidnap children who are infected with a disease, after the events of the game, and control them, as they all share infected Lifeblood (basically, Mother Nature), with plans to strike back at the Planet for infecting them . Cloud comes to the rescue and basically kicks ass.

All the characters from the game make an appearance though it's only Cloud and Tifa who really get any worthwhile screentime. Unfortunately, there is no character development or interaction, i was expecting the romance from the game to be at least hinted on. When the rest of the cast appear to fight a huge monster, it's a sweet feeling seeing them again, though this is followed by disappointment as this is all we get to see of them. Strangely Reno and the Turks, minor characters get more screentime than the characters loved the most in the game. Though, considering that the last hour of the 100 minute film is just amazing fights, I was still happy since it keeps the fights simple and fun.

As a film, it's possibly one of the best CGI films i've ever seen. The graphics are detailed and sharp, plus the direction is fluid and the action scenes move with the great pace and control. Also, an aspect i hardly notice in many films, the soundtrack totally complimented the film in every instance. It gave it a pump, that just made the fights so very cool. Apparently they're versions of the games tunes but i didn't recognize them.

http://img.engadget.com/common/images/7424321543353066.JPG?0.7982649142545644

There's lots here for the fans. Materia makes a brief appearance, mainly Bahamut is summoned which leads to the big city battle and the character reunion. Cloud uses Limit Breaks. Even a tune from the game is used as a mobile ringtone, which was used a nice joke. The characters all look better on this form, Tifa was slightly objectified in a typical anime way, erect nipples, short skirt but damn, she looked fine.

The film is extremely enjoyable, i watched it twice within hours. The fight scenes, which ARE what the film is about, are all excellent, exhilarating and fun and for this the poor plot and bad character direction is almost excusable. The other major gripe was the fact the game's main characters only really had cameos, though after spending time with them in the game, the new and less used characters are refreshing and good to watch. And for fans yet to see this (((SPOILER: Sephiroth does make a return for the final showdown, as does Aerith.

http://www.insomniacmania.com/news/news_15_2.jpg

4_5

Not sure how this will fare with non game players, either way it's got great visuals and some amazing action scenes and most fans are bound to enjoy it regardless of downfalls. It didn't disappoint.

[TheUsualSuspect]

Yea, playing the games will just enhance your enjoyment of Advent Children.

[Pyro Tramp]

Pirates of the Carribean 2- Dead Man's Chest

(spoilers)

I'll open and admit i went in with low expectations, after the great original which i feel was the crucial point in creating Depp's fanbase, i could only get the vibe that this sequel would be used as a Depp vehicle. With sequels like this you need to strike the right balance with the original in terms of plot and characters. There needs to be enough of both in the sequel as there was in the original and not let the predecessor's work carry the follower. Sadly this balance was way off here. With no flashbacks, it's essential to watch the original to understand the characters at all.

Will and Elizabeth are the weakest aspects by far, their relationship is not shown or developed bar a few scenes with awkward dialogue, just carried off the back of the original. I've never been convinced by Bloom, i think he managed in LoTR but except for that i've never liked him, and he's just as bad in this Pirates as the last but at least he's consistant, if poorly written. Knightley does look fit but her character is all over the shop, i think she loves Will and Jack then likes Jack then she kills Jack, none if it ever convinces or settles. Plus transport really is a doddle, somehow she can travel the world and find Jack while only having to worry about being female. Newcomer Bill Nighy does impress, his character is sick to look at it and, well, just a good visuals though him and his crew felt like a knock-off from the firsts. A lot of the cast return, Macenzie Crook and Davenport (<Norrington, best character) were the best; their characters are actually interesting and developed from the originals where as Pryce is pretty inconsequential popping up now and then. As for Depp, he delivers as expected, and well, adds nothing new except a few poorly explained character turns. A lot of his dialogue uses the same tricks as before and becomes tiresome after 3 times but he does carry the film and all the other characters manage to fit in around him.

As for the plot it flaps around like a fish out of water, the whole Island cannibal section (Kong, anyone?) came far too early, the plot had yet to gain any momentum and they take a detour already which delays much of the film. As soon as anything relevant starts happening and it goes where we want it to, it ends. Plenty of this film needs cutting down though with such a one note plot (find a chest, free his soul) there'd be nothing left. From its ending, this should have been one film (with the 3rd). The wheel scene with the threeway sword fight was really fun at first yet again, they drag it out till its boring and sadly this is about the only bit of actual action in the film. It's all chatting and running and chatting and a squid.

Luckily, the set design and cinematography are amazing, they capture a real feeling and tone which does allow you to stop thinking about why nothing interestings happening and feed your eyes. The CGI is also really well done, it reminded me of War of the Worlds where most the obvious CGi is put to background, behind smoke or in distance and these parts work and as said, it looks great, though it's not all seemless. Squidey's crew are all 'imaginative' but often hit and miss and empty.

Pirates 2 isn't very good. It's plot has trouble carrying the film and even more trouble carrying the characters. Depp's performance, which i'm sure was what the film's marketted on was fine, though not as remarkable as the first. The only thing i can really recommend this for is the visuals. With so much meandering and dragging, until seeing the 3rd i'd probably skip this one and wait. Then at least there might be some closure since there's NONE here.

2

[BobbyB]

Perfect review. I agree with you 100%. I really did expect more from it than what I got.

[nebbit]

Thanks Pyro :( I was hoping it would be good :(

[The_Walrus]

I thought it was great. Maybe I went into the theatre thinking differently about it though. I was looking for a fun film that reminds me just how fun movies can be. I wasn't looking for the sweeping epic of Lord of the Rings. I wasn't looking for the perfect acting of Forrest Gump or Rainman. I wasn't looking for the personal drama which is what too many people seem to care about these days.

I was looking to go into the theatre, watch some great action scenes, have a few laughs while sipping on an overpriced Coke while I ate my over-priced popcorn. And I got that indeed.

I loved the spinning wheel fight scene, no matter how fake or impossible it seemed. I loved the cannibal scene, it was some good action and worth a few laughs...plus the eye make-up looked awesome. I actually jumped the first time the camoflauged cannibal jumps out at Will.

I like the little love triangle that's going on between Liz/Will/Jack...of course this isn't gonna be some crazy Best Picture epic drama, but I could care less. It was a merry-old time watching this movie, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

[Angel_of_Music]

I'm with all of you. The expectations for the film, for many people were very high - we all knew Depp would be brilliant, Knightly would be the pretty face (although there are a few good but fleeting moments) and Bloom would be Bloom, he wasn't as bad as he could have been, and on the whole I thought his characters story line was the better of all of them. The return of Norrington was a little unexpected - I knew the Character was in the film, but didn't know what they were going to do with him.

Unfortunaly this is a "sequal" and fits that brand very well - its launches head first into the new story with next to no references to the 1st movie, which could be seen as both a positive or negative depending on if you prefer to et bogged down in past events or not. And even though it goes for over 2 1/2 hours - it doesn't really get anywhere in that time, but ends rather abruptly. When it reached the final scene and then suddenly went to Credits - the entire cinema cried out in desperation at the dreaded cliffhanger ending.

The re-occuring jokes - the wooden eye, the rum etc were familiar, although not over done in my opinion - they could easily have over used some of the old jokes, luckily they havent. CGI again plays a large role, of course. And the Pirate Ships are wonderful - the Flying Dutchman is fantastic with all its barnicals and seaweed.

However, having said that, I did enjoy the film, the 3-way fight was very cleverly done, the fight in Tortuga and Jack escaping the cannibals (the fruit!) are definatly highlights.

[Pyro Tramp]

The whole cannibal scene annoyed the heck out of me, as i said, it was a major detour from any actual narrative, though considering there wasn't really a narrative anyway, suppose it's a moot point.

[Sedai]

Reminds me of the bad early 80s horror flick The Boogeyman, where the soul of a killer is trapped in a mirror. The mirror gets broken, and the killer is released into the shards, and when it's being thrown out, a piece sticks to someone's shoe (yawn) and they inadvertently bring the Killer home. The film apes scenes from Amityville horror and other 70s horror, but the whole thing turns out to be mind numbing and ridiculous. Stay clear of that one! ;)

[TheUsualSuspect]

The constant "rum" jokes annoyed me.

[Pyro Tramp]

Saw 3

Just as the last two Halloweens, this year comes with a new Saw.... for better or worse. I went in watching this after enjoying the first two. Both worked at what they wanted to do and the sequel even managed to be a fresh shade on the first. There are two keys tropes evident in these films, gruesome scenes and a twist. And un-suprisingly the people behind Saw 3 are accutely aware of this leading to a film probably made based on these ideas.

As such the gore and torture scenes are some of the most painful and wince inducing scenes in the series (and it's hard to think of a film that matches it). I'd say i'm quite de-sensitised in films but during the power tool brain surgery i'll admit my toes were curled like a bitch. It's a shame that this was the only aspect they put any thought into and the rest of the film does suffer from this. The characters are a waste of space tumbling along to reach the final twist. The A-B plot point approach with characterisation leaves the film limp leaving only death scenes to meaningless characters holding up what's left. And the deaths do become slightly absurd (drowning in minced pig) and the rush to reach the twist just cuts stupid holes in the plot making lots irrelevant. Considering the obvious build up to the twist it meanders loosing much impact plus it's actually pretty poor, so much so i'd inadvertantly guessed it.

The thing with Saw is it's a clear cut franchise so you'll know going into it whether you're going to like what it offers or not. As a film i did enjoy it despite most of said enjoyment being derived from feeling slightly sickened. This installment doesn't have the ingenuity of the first or the successful franchise affirment in the sequel but a rushed mix upping only the gore. The franchise is capped well though, shame we can expect two more which are in my opinion only going to get worse.

2

[nebbit]

Saw 3
The franchise is capped well though, shame we can expect two more which are in my opinion only going to get worse.

2

Not 2 more :eek:

[Pyro Tramp]

Hot Fuzz

I've wanted to write something on this for a while so lots of you Americans see it when it finally gets released over there, but had trouble starting the review. To cut it short i thoroughly recommend it, no it's not quite as good as Shaun of the Dead in my opinion but Wright and Pegg have definitely confirmed themselves as talents in Brit cinema.

The film in whole works perfectly, admitedly there's a lull in moving into the third act and some cutting could be employed but the characters give the piece such a strong drive to keep you entertained. A lot of the film is more smirk inducing than full out laughter (though there are more than enough moments that had my rolling) and some of this was just from playing spot the Brit actor, which also gave the film a great start; the Martin Freeman> Steve Coogan > Bill Nighy threesome. Despite the multitude of talent, it's Nick Frost who really shines with his lovable and funny slow-witted Constable, and he's also the one i considered to have improved the most since Shaun. Some of Wrights directorial quirks, the quick cutting worked in the context of Shaun but appeared jarring here. And more than enough jokes were throw backs to Shaun. Though these minor gripes hardly retract.

Despite being a take on the cop genre, the parody aspect is down played considerably in favour of a more character and diverse piece. Heck, some parts made me think i was watching a slasher film thanks to the gruesome deaths in tone of Shaun. The parody aspect works well, though the quaint English country side setting made it a quintessentially British cop parody, though this works well as a juxtaposition to the more Hollywood cop aspects most notably the final shoot out that is actually, considering the budget, amazing, there's a lot of ingenuity involved. One of the elements that i'm not decided on was the way they explicitly made the references to say Point Break by playing the excerpt of the folliwing the later homage. The scene works great as character building but on the flipside it seemed like a lazy set up to a gag made only for films fans.

This is just a slap dash review, since saw it a while a go and am planning to see it again, when i might come back with more to say but it's still gonna be 5

[Bill]

Thank for the reviews, Pyro. I added some more movies on my must-see list.

[Pyro Tramp]

INLAND EMPIRE (2006, David Lynch)

Now, i start this write up with the question is it even a film in the back of my head; any illusions of narrative quickly dissolve after about 50 minutes of the seemingly epic 3 hours and the much of the film reminded by of Stan Brackhage's Avant Garde work. To make it worse, the main character is actually characterS, all played by Laura Dern, giving no indication to when we're witnessing a different character or even if they actually are different or just characters she playing. See, the basic plot is Laura Dern's character gets a part in a movie, foretold by a freaky Polish woman, and her entanglement with co-star Justin Theroux off the set mirrors the plot of 'cursed' film they're starring in- thus even before the narrative is lost, there's a degree of confusion.

The turning point is when we release that the mysterious intruder on Dern's and Theroux's rehearsal, unable to be found, was actually Dern appearing later in the film. Whether a doppleganger, the same character, a fracture of one character is unknown, instead from here we're lead through repetitions of events, different time frames and seemingly completely unrelated (irrelevant?) events, including Dern as a hooker in America, a Polish housewife; then there's the sitcom with humanoid bunnies and a cursed girl who's been raped? A lot of the film is speculative, if that, the coherency is to the extent that placing a reading on it may be near impossible. Where Mulholland Drive had decypherable markers, and compared to INLAND EMPIRE, coherency, we're left with Dern possibly walking into movies as the actress or as the character in the film.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/inland460.jpg

Dern handles the multiude of roles well, and the supporting cast admittedly don't have a lot to do or near the depth of roles Dern has to perform but they all do well, especially Harry Dean Stanton. I'm not sure whether to place credit in Dern, she does have a hard task and performs well but all her incarnations are distanced, perhaps it's from the digital video shooting, awkward close-ups or because there's rarely any point for empathy. Watching INLAND EMPIRE a Lynch fan can pick out many similarities from Twin Peaks like the red curtains or some alternate dimension and themes of dopplegangers from Lost Highway. There's some brilliant surreal moments, eerily captured on digital which, if you were to begin to doze off, definitely would wake you back up. It's on very few instances i will actually notice the soundtrack employed in a film and in INLAND EMPIRE is rather note-worthy in creating the surreal experience and helps create a LOT of the atmosphere the digital shooting often ends up removing. It's also very important when we have little idea of what's actually happening and what we're meant to be feeling.

With that being said, the film is a test of endurance with very little to no climax or closure. A lot of the scenes are quite bare and with not really anything but unsympathetic characters to follow it could be boring. Personally i was glued to it, perhaps Mulholland Drive had me expecting to have to look for answer to understand the film. Though Lynch, i feel has taken a different approach here, not choosing to challenge how one understand the film but how one understands film as a form. Hence the everchanging perception we have, including the prostitute dying a propchecised death from a screwdriver, continuely marked out in the film, surrounded by homeless who re-assure "you're just dying" then continue to rant unmoved about nothing, concludes with a camera pulling away and it being a movie but then Dern walking into a cinema with what she sees on screen. It's an interesting film, full of complexity someone familiar with film will enjoy otherwise it's hard to see anything particualrly of merit other than the film as artifact. Whether Lynch was trying for something similar to Warhol's Empire is very possible, certainly through the length; and seeming false endings, leaving the viewer learning to not wait for the end but live the experience. Or something. It's hard to say when a film has prostitutes start dancing to do 'Do the Locomotion'.

5

[Sedai]

Awesome. Once I actually get a chance to see this... I will post some comments of my own...

[adidasss]

I've never really understood any of his movies. A friend of mine described them perfectly, "they're just like incoherent dreams that he decided to put on screen". From everything I've read about this film, Mulholland drive makes all the sense in the world compared to it....so I'm a little apprehensive about watching it, despite the 5 star rating you gave it.

[Pyro Tramp]

It's a completely opposite concept to Mulholland Dr but that said the delivery is very similar. I certainly would not suggest jumping in on the film, i'm extremely grateful i had a lecture on Avant Garde before seeing the film since it gave a great insight and having also a great respect for Lynch making films that aren't spelled out. If you can enjoy Lost Highway and Eraserhead, which INLAND EMPIRE is most similar to then watch it!

And imo, Mulholland Dr is only as incoherent as one is lazy to think about it. There's any amount of answers to it, therein lays its beauty.

[TheUsualSuspect]

Seeing Lost Highway, Blue Velvet and Mulholland Dr. I got a basic idea of what was gonig on...but I've heard nothing good about this one. Only negative...yours is the exception.

[Pyro Tramp]

Where've you read? Most i've read over here have been good

[JBriscoe]

but I've heard nothing good about this one. Only negative...yours is the exception.

Where've you read? Most i've read over here have been good

another example of the differing opinions when it comes to Lynch...I'd say the best place for a combination of both stances would be rotten tomatoes

[nebbit]

Thanks for the great review Pyro, I will see this when it gets here :yup:

[Nexus]

I didn't like Inland Empire; I thought it was the worst film Lynch had ever made. It was far too self-indulgent.

[Pyro Tramp]

It was his most unique and he certainly had a lot of creative control due to the independence of the production. A self indulgent film, for me is King Kong where Jackson just seemed to want to fellate himself. INLAND EMPIRE was a clear progression from Lynch's other work where he's pooled all he's incorporated before. The only bit i didn't like was where she was talking to the man with glasses. I think Lynch had an interesting concept piece and i didn't feel it was pretentious enough to be self indulgent except for the fact Lynch made the film he wanted.

[Pyro Tramp]

Hostel 2 (Eli Roth, 2007)

Hostel is a film that's got a strong split of lovers and haters; genre fans seem to hate it for it's false promises of gore and violence and the reason i despised it was for all the lovers of this waste of celluloid. A film that is essentially a one note concept, it promised 'torture porn' yet exploitational shocks were not delivered. Hostel 2 takes this concept of torture porn and the same storyline of backpackers in Eastern Europe swayed to staying in a small village only to be sold off to the highest bidder to be brutally killed. The only new thing the sequel offers is a perspective from the torturers and female victims and a lot more rubbish from start to finish.

The main idea of showing the torturers is unfortunately where it really fell apart for me. Although the actors playing the torturers have both been in good roles (The Weasel in Lost Room and the other a villian from the 24: Season 1) but both have however been in Desperate Housewives removing any opportunity to get into the film or their roles leaving them distanced and verging on comical. That's not to mention they're both very unevenly written characters; i can imagine Roth thinking he's hit the motherload having them swap roles of timid and sadistic but the writing doesn't support this and it just seems out of the blue and random. Equally as focussed on are the prospective victims, who are even less interesting than the predecessor's who just wanted to get laid and stoned, something i can actually relate to. Having women this time round is probably something else Roth thinks was a masterstroke but it just confuses the films mood with lost sexual tension and misplaced motivation.

Anywho, anyone expecting well rounded characters here is looking in the wrong place, we're here for the promised torture porn! Although apparently Roth got to caught up on his over complicated plot to remember this. Characters run around and get taken places for no reasons other than little narrative winks making straight forward kidnappings into over complicated affairs just so we know so and so is bad and he's the head of this Torture Business that we're meant to be given an insight to. The insight that extends to going to a house and seeing people in security rooms. Thats it. Oh, and the conclusion of the first film's Paxton's fate, beginning with a fake dream alluding to the power of the people behind all this which despite being see through would have been better than having this main character killed... OFF SCREEN. It's absurd that Roth could miss the mark so much on this film, we see only one of three main characters killed on screen, one's dangled upside down and slashed with a scythe (off screen) letting a woman below bathe in blood till her neck is slit, though there's more focus on the fetish than the death, which itself is poorly developed, only a whisper in a film that should be shouting about these kind of twisted sadistic fetishes. The pay off scene in the climax, something i will leave unspoiled, is quite gruesome, not that visual mind but still tries to adhere to the premise, shame Grindhouse beat Roth to it.

The whole concept of Hostel is people being tortured and Hostel 2 fails remarkably at capitalising on this principle, the film pushes no buttons what so ever, it can't ellicit any form of emotional response except boredom. I can just imagine Roth smirking at his film admiring how he characterised the two torturers who don't create any sense of fear or intrigue. Admittedly the films put together acceptably, it's watchable but then surely that means it's missed the point. The sad thing is how many people will praise this like they did the first for making them sick to their stomach or unable to watch, something i can't for the life of me understand. Even if people praise it for that, there's still so many plain stupid aspects like the local kids from the Hostel who didn't work then nor do they now. The endings unwise implentation of humour goes to undermine all the dark horror it attempted to achieve. There's nothing in this film to recommend, it's not got the slight originality of the first of the actually intriguing concept and plots of the Saw or Saw 2. Don't waste your time with it.

1_5

[nebbit]

Hostel 2 (Eli Roth, 2007)
Don't waste your time with it.

1_5
Ok, Thanks for the review :)

[Pyro Tramp]

Halloween 2007 (Rob Zombie)


Starting this review, i'm going to avoid a plot synopsis because if you don't know it already, you havn't seen the original and by golly if you're gonna watch this you should see the original. That out the way can mention the most notable change in this adaptation, that of the characterisation of Micheal Myers; where the original has his first killings and subsequent escape years later, Zombie fills in these gaps with some lengthy characterisation of Myers and his therapist Loomis (Malcolm McDowal replacing Pleasance). McDowal does a good job but adds nothing to the character, luckily Myers slow development does. To start with the film has a shaky start, the dialogue is contrived and obvious as are the characters but once Micheal becomes the focus in the Asylum it's picks up speed. Unfortunately the speed only brings us to the derivative stalk and slash finish. For a film that spends half it's run time making it's own path in through the franchise it's a shame Zombie turns the second half into a direct copy of Carpenter's original, from identical scenes and dialogue- it's cheap and tacky.

That problem aside, Zombie probably was the best person for the job, despite his auteur tendency to put his wife in the movie who's kinda sucks. The dark shots and outbursts of brutal violence, while not graphic as some, do make the film worthwhile. However with Zombie's reliance on this to carry the film also comes the lack of any anticipation of the violence letting the film revel in these outbursts without actually creating any opportunity to engage the viewer, a nice 70s throwback, complimented by a whole host of B-Movie stars. In comparison to the original, there is more blood and more violence which i'd say holds up high against today's standards, Zombie wisely leaves certain scenes untouched and wisely keeps the highly effective original soundtrack. This Micheal is also a lot more ferocious, instead of a slow skulking menace he dispatches victims in, dare i say it, a better fashion than the original. However, unsuprisingly the Laurie character is terrible, given only half the movie to develop empathy with by appearing only as the secondary character to Micheal and having the same dialogue as the original, the victims may as well have been nobodies.

Overall film is worth a watch and is a decent horror, there's a lot of nice brutal violence and avoidance of tacky 'jump' scenes but unfortunately Zombie tries too hard to offend with certain scenes, like the un-necessary rape scene and badly writen Step Dad, only counter balanced by the 70s style hard killings. The additional half was a nice addition but sells the rest the short, that save for Zombie's penchant for cruelty, would be classed as awful with shameful theft and a bland cliche. The ending in the workprint however, i did like, Zombie clearly has a love for the character of Micheal and wraps the film up rather well with a different twist to other installments. I did enjoy what Zombie did but can't help comparing it to the original, which wouldn't be a problem were the copying not so obvious.

3

[jrs]

Even though I kinda so- so disagree with that review (in a way), some parts won't even be in the theatrical version.

Overall film is worth a watch and is a decent horror, there's a lot of nice brutal violence and avoidance of tacky 'jump' scenes but unfortunately Zombie tries too hard to offend with certain scenes, like the un-necessary rape scene....

[TheUsualSuspect]

Seeing Halloween tomorrow night, will read your review after then.

[nebbit]

Halloween 2007 (Rob Zombie)


Overall film is worth a watch and is a decent horror, there's a lot of nice brutal violence and avoidance of tacky 'jump' scenes but unfortunately Zombie tries too hard to offend with certain scenes, like the un-necessary rape scene

3
Thanks :) I might wait for this to come out on DVD not a big horror film fan :)

[jrs]

Thanks :) I might wait for this to come out on DVD not a big horror film fan :)

That part of brutal rape scenes wont be seen in final theatrical cut. And besides the review given is from a workprint. There are many things taken out and a couple added.

[Pyro Tramp]

And you saw theatrical Jrs? Either way, can't see the problems being resolved in it.

[jrs]

And you saw theatrical Jrs? ...



Uh, No...but those are the differences for those who want to know (like Nebbit) . Besides, your opinon on the film doesn't affect mine. ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Well, you just seemed to know about all the difference so i assumed you'd seen both.

[jrs]

Well, you just seemed to know about all the difference so i assumed you'd seen both.

I understand. :yup:

According to what has been mentioned 6-7 scenes have been removed and an alternate scene has been shot. I am checkin this out to see the differences.

[TheUsualSuspect]

Nice review, I'd say I agree with pretty much everything you said.

[jrs]

I suggest to wait for a different opinion if you read someone's review of Zombie's Halloween. Wait till someone gives a full, enticed, well thought out and well done review on the final film. The theatrical version is like much, much different to the workprint that was seen. And the ending......perfectly done. You'll have to see it for yourselves.

[Pyro Tramp]

I suggest to wait for a different opinion if you read someone's review of Zombie's Halloween. Wait till someone gives a full, enticed, well thought out and well done review on the final film. The theatrical version is like much, much different to the workprint that was seen. And the ending......perfectly done. You'll have to see it for yourselves.

Look Jrs, our opinions may very but there's absolutely no need to disregard my opinion and criticise my review like that. I've acknowledged that it was the workprint thus my opinion on that is still valid, even if the theatrical cut changes it around a bit, the story is still the same and i'm sure a lot of the flaws and successes will be the same; epsecially considering TUS saw the theatrical cut and agreed with my feelings towards the film. Have YOU seen both Jrs? If you're so amazing and your opinion is perfect why the **** don't you write something instead of being a damned free promoter for the film. Particularly since it's not actually released here for a few more weeks as well. I never get offended by people on the internet of pissed off by them but you've succeeded, which i'm sure was part of your intention. I know i've had a few niggles at you but it's always been harmless and tongue in cheek, and too my memory never a directly insulting you.

[jrs]

Look Jrs, our opinions may very but there's absolutely no need to disregard my opinion and criticise my review like that.

I don't how you could observed that from what I wrote.

Have YOU seen both Jrs? If you're so amazing and your opinion is perfect why the ****** don't you write something instead of being a damned free promoter for the film. Particularly since it's not actually released here for a few more weeks as well..


Yes I have seen both. I have NEVER said I was perfect in anyways. Noone is. And a promoter? :nope:


I never get offended by people on the internet of pissed off by them but you've succeeded, which i'm sure was part of your intention. I know i've had a few niggles at you but it's always been harmless and tongue in cheek, and too my memory never a directly insulting you.

I'm never bothered. Besides I know when the right time comes to get mideviel on someone's ass. :rotfl:

[nebbit]

I suggest to Wait till someone gives a full, enticed, well thought out and well done review on the final film.
I thought it was a good review :furious:

[7thson]

JRS, I almost-always respect your thoughts and suggestions and even if I agree and understand what you meant I must say you were a bit/lot........ loutish in this instance. It is okay to disagree and to even lambaste someone who deserves it, but this is a thread of one's own volition, and well, you were rude. I do not say that to make you mad or angry or to even judge, but hey I thought I would try to help out.

Oh BTW.....Nice review, and I do not agree, but I do respect it.
:):):):)

[jrs]

I suggest to wait for a different opinion if you read someone's review of Zombie's Halloween. Wait till someone gives a full, enticed, well thought out and well done review on the final film. The theatrical version is like much, much different to the workprint that was seen. And the ending......perfectly done. You'll have to see it for yourselves...

I'm sorry for wording that in a bad way. I am not saying your review Pyro is not worthy of respect ......... but I was mentioning that, if anyone wrote up a review on the theatrical version to make sure they read that too.

[Pyro Tramp]

I do not agree, but I do respect it.


Have you seen it then? What were your thoughts about it, better or worse?

[Pyro Tramp]

Found a site listing the differences between the Halloween 2007 workprint and theatrical cut. Which aren't drastic, just the odd scene and a different ending. http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com/1978/10/secret-post.html

[7thson]

Halloween 2007 (Rob Zombie)


i'm going to avoid a plot synopsis because if you don't know it already, you havn't seen the original and by golly if you're gonna watch this you should see the original.



This is the only thing I do not agree with, a plot synopsis, which you kinda do anyway, is a staple of a good review. Just my opinion, other than that solid.:):)

[Pyro Tramp]

This is the only thing I do not agree with, a plot synopsis, which you kinda do anyway, is a staple of a good review. Just my opinion, other than that solid.:):)

Oh, i thought you were talking about the movie. Hmm, well, it was because it's a remake and was trying to emphasise seeing the original first so didn't want to take up first paragraph/few sentences with something people seeing the film should already know.

[Pyro Tramp]

Alien vs Predator: Requiem


Let's not make any bones about it, Alien vs Predator was a pretty poor film, the human characters took too much precedence on the narrative to the extent of one forming some awkward quasi romance with the Predator. Is that really what a film about two battling screen legends should have. No. In this sequel however a clear attempt has been made to rectify this, there are obviously some human protagonists to follow but are wisely kept seperate from the Predator fighting the aliens, bar a few inherent cross overs. And perhaps the strongest point with these human characters is, ironically, how little the filmmakers care for them, gladly using the knowledge that the audience won't like them either or even want them in the film at all, which allows many smile inducing dispatches of them.

As much fun as is had with Requiem it's still very flawed, the target audience is painfully apparent with too many deaths being cut away from seconds too soon in a bid for that 15 certificate. Here's hoping the uncut DVD will include the gruesome deaths missing. Opposed to the first with multiple Predators against the aliens, Requiem offers just one so his fight becomes far more interesting, and while empathy is probably a stretch, he's certainly who the audience are rooting for. Aside from the editing, the other major problem is how the creatures are handled, often it's far too reminiscent of their previous incarnations to the point where their scenes could've effectively been copy and pasted. The predator is handled best, though unsurprisingly having only one to focus on but the directors seem at a loss as to how to show the aliens past copying others, from the swimming to the uncurling from ceilings, their framing and direction is unoriginal and evokes little tension. And they never seem to sure when to show them and when not to giving little scale or insight to their genuine threat. It's probably best not too mention the massacring of Giger's brilliant alien design apparent in the Alien/Predator hybrid, which seems like they literally mashed the two images together without consideration.

Past the gripes the film does work well, moving from the weak points of the original most notably in the character handling. From the opening with the little boy, the hope of his death is satisfied paving way for more characters to be remorselessly killed, which provides most the fun. Every cliched character from the hero to the love interest are fair game, to an extent. Sometimes the shock value seems a little forced, like impregnating the women in the pregnancy ward and audience patience is tested when it's revealed they must have a helicopter to escape (opposed to their tank) which happens to be at the hospital. But much of this is rewarded, from the hero's bad decisions leading to what we knows coming instead of convenient rescue and cliched characters getting what's not expected. Most importantly however the battles between the two species are well handled and enjoyable, although maybe not as fluent or exciting as the initial promise. There's some pretty cool moments when the collide and the predator is mostly badass providing fun kills but the film sometimes verges on tedious like the predators injuries being forgotten or his constant inability to hit a target and long range.

Overall Alien vs Predator: Requiem strives to break certain conventions of horror films and works to an extent but all this is still hampered when the unoriginal characters do survive. Nonetheless it is enjoyable and doesn't disappoint and i'd almost say it's possibly as good as the worst each franchise has to offer. It's certainly an improvement on the first so gets my recommendation if you're even remotely interested in them but would further recommend waiting for an uncut version and definitely an alternative ending.

3_5

[Pyro Tramp]

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/02/mandylane_450x250.jpg


Mandy Lane is a little flick that's been kicking around for sometime, trailers came out sometime last year only for the release to be withheld, and to be released now. Although this marketing wasn't a tactic, ironically, it's certainly worked as a plus; the initial sparks of interest from a well put together trailer were later stirred by it's re-emergence, perhaps the main draw to seeing yet another slasher. Post-Scream and amidst slews of over stylised MTV 70s horror remakes and gorno, slashers are easily dismissed these days as derivative trash and Many Lane treads familiar ground, the attractive teen virgin, lusted by peers, placed in an isolated location where her friends her slowly dispatched around her but it works, well.

Lane is nothing special in genre terms yet succeeds in it's competence which gives it strong ground to raise above recent horror. The most notable instance is revealing the killer early on, removing the overdone whodunnit element and red herrings, allows the characters more room to develop depth and interest. But of course, in a slasher no real emotion is invested in characters, most are portrayed as unlikeable and their deaths inevitable but it's balanced out by a more realistic depiction of the youth characters and activities, from drug use as character traits opposed to a cause to be followed by effect (i.e. death as drugs are bad) or over stereotyped characters. Another plus strike is a removal of exposition, yet this leads to some faltering where the killer lacks the development to make them truly frightening, an instance where the particular characters jump to killer was due some more explanation then what's given. While Mandy Lane doesn't hold any pretenses to being a typical horror slasher, arguably using this to avoid cliche, no suspension of disbelief can make the killer seem scary or threatening. While this would work well enough in a thriller, the time it spends happily in the horror genre compromise this.

For a lot of the film it seems unsure what it wants to be, from some decent scenes of gore only then to have off screen deaths, leaving a tinge of disappointment. The more momentum it gathers as it moves away from introducing us characters to killing them is frustratingly where it's weakest point is. As soon as the killer starts relying on a gun and becoming a flesh and blood person, instead of a seemingly supernatural force is when a slasher is in trouble and for me, arguably switches genre to thriller. There's not much to separate the genres and with a bit more intelligence, it could have worked; as one character dies from an off-screen shot it starts to ratchet tension up, the fear of the killer out of the camera shot thus out of control of the formal restrictions of the screen and what audiences control. For me it was the only moment i was actually engaged, sadly the moment isn't capitalised on as the killer comes into shot to chase the other victim, loosing any sense of fear, which sadly may appear that the prior inspired moment was more accidental than purposeful.

There are certainly enough reasons to recommend the film, it's cinematography captures a great gritty 70s aesthetic and the direction is surprisingly assured for the most part, if lacking in tension be grateful for the absence of overused 'jump' scenes. I wouldn't hesitate speculating it's release delay is due to recent High School massacres as it's eerily evocative of these more than any other teen horror, which (considering the ending that i won't spoil) is even more disturbing with the emergence of a recent suicide cult in the UK; it's surprising more haven't cited the film as playing in bad taste. Regardless of it's release context, it does stand above recent horror, if solely for it's simplicity and not relying on a gimmick; the ending wisely avoids one of the awkward and absurd twists excellent horror films like Dead End and Switchblade Romance were let down by. That's not to say the end twist is good, however, it did seem forced and after expecting a stupid twist i was almost disappointed there wasn't one.

Overall, there's some nice kills, some smart direction, better than average characters and is kept simple and while this stops it descending into trash it also stops it being anything truly special.

3

[OG-]

I'm so jealous of you. I've been waiting damn near a year for this freaking movie!

[Pyro Tramp]

Did i mention HA and errm HA in my review! Anyway, thought you would, that was half my motivation for writing more than a reply in a thread. Least UK gets perks now and then instead of always being behind with releases.

[Pyro Tramp]

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The most biting issue regarding this film is it is Indiana Jones and with this comes expectations. Indy 4 is a give and take film. In any other context, Harrison Ford would not pass as an action hero any more, at least to the extent he is portrayed here. This is the only 'give' aspect its predecessors offer, the chance to see a much loved screen icon around again. However, the 'take' is far more substantial, and like many reviews the negatives are easier to list but unlike many reviews that remain firmly subjective, cutting slack plainly because it is Indy, i will attempt to be more objective. I have recently watched the originals so don't think my memories will be merely reminiscing either

If the film wasn't set in the established world if Indy and with a different hero, it probably would have been a fine movie but the dichotomy of context or content undermines the film at almost every step. The opening shot is CGI, now i know it's nearly unavoidable nowadays for a Hollywood film not to use it but here it seems to be done for the sake of it, or for sheer spectacle. The two main examples are the nuclear explosions and the finale. The latter i'll save spoiling, as for the former at a basic level you can argue it sets the era but considering the installation testing it had been wiped out, i'm not sure how they even went ahead with it. Apart from the odd extravagant setting, where does this happen in the originals? It seemed like a Roland Emmerich set piece. Next, what i loved about the originals was their ability to immerse the viewer into the location, blue-screens are completely alienating.

I'm surprised there aren't more critics of the action. Most comments are on the plausibility, bar the one silliness in Temple of Doom (and i figured the three waterfalls were an allusion to this), in most of the originals action pieces, it could be believed that someone could do that. And in most of them someone does do them, the tightly choreographed action and stunt scenes were far more enthralling in the originals then "let's do it all in CGI". Thus Indy 4 lacks the skilled directing craft to create enthralling moments were there is actual tension and realism about the character and the beating they're taking. I do not want to see a computer animated Shia Lebouf rope swing through the jungle with an army of CGI monkeys. Not only is that not Indiana Jones, it's the polar opposite. A lot of it belonged in a cartoon.

Possibly the biggest gripe i've noticed is the alien plotline. For clarity, i've no problem with aliens or skepticism about them appearing in films. Their inclusion goes back to earlier, give and take. We are given a Crystal Skull which is explicitly flaunted visually through out the story, removing any enigma about the artifacts plus it is a bit ridiculous, i couldn't get AvP out my head where she uses the alien skull as a shield. Anyway, we're given the narrative marker of the skull and then it takes us completely out the diegetic world created around Indiana Jones. There's not one hint towards extra-terrestrial life in any of the films. Making a firmly established genre of traditional adventure into a science-fiction yarn is pretty cheeky. But like i said earlier, it would have been fine in any other film but with Indy it doesn't belong. I know most people counteract this criticism with The Ark being supernatural thus also a strain on believability but 'The Ark' was kept as an enigma through the film and in the climax when it was opened it, there had to be something decent as the pay-off. But furthermore, Indy's eyes are closed so it doesn't necessarily have to happened like that. The odd ghost and religious artifacts are what we are told is natural in Indy's world. I wouldn't have minded exploring the mythos they took, but if they'd left it ambiguous and more on suggestion, it would have been far more successful and less like Close Encounters.

Maybe this is the standard starting point for reviews but it seemed so irrelevant i didn't think it worth addressing the story first. The whole script is heavy handed, from explaining Brody and Connery to recycling plot devices from the Last Crusade and then failing to expand them. The clues and actual 'adventure' where far too easy, more over they were excuses for set pieces. Take finding the the clue under the waterfall, there's no indication how they get all the way up there or the final clue in the temple Ox couldn't get being a pretty dull answer. I never once felt any sense of discovery, as a viewer or on Indy's behalf. I would rather call the characters under-written opposed to un-developed. Winstone, for example, i thought was fine but the way characters reacted around him wasn't natural nor was his fate. Blanchett's villain was tame and failed to make a worth adversary for Indy when she should have been either ruthless or a reflection of a different Indy. It was by the time Mutt and Indy had the chase around the city i'd settled with the older Indy being action orientated, however couldn't help noticing how slack his trousers were, looked like proper Grandad style.

The film was thoroughly flawed but that's from a subjective viewpoint of what Indy was and what Spielberg and Lucas have done now. Except for the lovingly created 50s and the admittedly brilliant Mutt (i've liked Shia since Even Stevens) i fail to see this as a continuation of the series. Personally, it seemed like Lucas using CGI wherever possible and Spielberg getting bogged down in his penchant for extra-terrestrial. It's not an inherently 'bad' film but it is flawed in a lot of respects and considering what it could, and should have been- a classic stunt orientating adventure, it fails to deliver.

2_5

[nebbit]

Thanks for your review Pyro :yup: interesting :)

[Used Future]

Re - Undead.

Nice review,

I agree completely that the film didn't live up to expectations, and thought it was pretty terrible really. Shame because like you say, it did try and do something a little different with the sci-fi angle. But the lead guy was just annoyingly unfunny.:)

[Pyro Tramp]

Re - Undead.

Nice review,

I agree completely that the film didn't live up to expectations, and thought it was pretty terrible really. Shame because like you say, it did try and do something a little different with the sci-fi angle. But the lead guy was just annoyingly unfunny.:)

Heh, you must be the first person i've come across to see that one, nice not be a lone. Thanks for taking time to read btw :)

[Pyro Tramp]

Dead Set TV SHOW
(5 Episodes, 2008)

http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk254/bbspy/dead-set-3.jpg

So this was on TV in the lead up to Halloween over here in the UK on Channel 4 side channel, e4. If you've heard of any of them.

The premise is simple, and pretty ingenious- there's a zombie outbreak and this show takes the focus of the housemates in the years Big Brother. Sound good? I thought it was a pretty cool idea, though as Dead Set pans out that's not so much of the focus. Instead it's mainly about Jamie Winstone (daughter of Ray) who works behind the scenes and eventually joins the contestants as they struggle to get along with the tasks at hand and her boyfriend trying to get back to her from outside.

If you watch Big Brother, then i feel sorry for you. If you're one of the hopefully many who despise it then this is a welcome treat. More so if you like zombies. The characters form a typical lineup of standard overblown contestants you see on the show every year, and surprisingly they work. Exception has to be Kevin Eldon who's been on too many other shows to be buy into but if you don't him then more for you. To be honest, by now i wouldn't blame you for thinking this sounds like a single concept gimmick show. Luckily several points let it rise above this trap. For one, as mentioned Dead Set doesn't rely on this gimmick to carry the show and when you see host Davina and last years winner chomping away like normal zombies, it would sound a bit cheesy. So thank **** they had the balls to, surprisingly, make this a brutal, gory and stylish affair; it's very reminiscent of the 28 ___ Later films- maybe at times too reminiscent but for the sake of actually being horrific i can let that go. It shifts the focus around from the three strands of characters- housemates, workers on the show and 2 people on the outside. Although the latter seems like a diversion, it does keep some fresh momentum to what may struggle to last 5 episodes. However, saying that, when the finale does come it seems to be in too much of hurry to finish, preventing any real time for emotional responses or spatial awareness for what's happening.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2008/08/21/ds-screen-grab-2460.jpg

Despite the high concept, it still treads familiar zombie-film ground, the attempt to get supplies from outside or factions forming between survivors. Either way, it still manages to carry itself off in a strong style. There are a couple of uneasy ideas- the production manager, for one, is too much of an obviously scripted character but is fun to watch. Overall, there are surprisingly high production values present which let this stand up to most zombie films around. The concept works and fortunately isn't laboured or patronising like the social commentary Romero attempted recently in Diary of the Dead. If any of the elements interest you, i really recommend this quite highly and think you'll be surprised with the results. It's not perfect but is a competent and enjoyable twist on the genre and rises through the TV formats limitations.

4_5

[Tacitus]

That show flew completely under my radar. It's now intriguing me and making me think about completing my screenplay about a zombie outbreak in a milking parlour, the title of which is so obvious and corny that even I won't insult your collective intelligence... ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Insult my intelligence if you want. Or temporary ignorance. Make sure it ain't too familiar to Zombie Strippers, don't want Jenna Jameson suing ;)

Dead Set ain't anything new but I do think it excels considering its production context. Won't be surprised if someone gets critical and err, criticises it but it's enjoyable enough reason to have some restored faith in British TV and our talent.

[Tacitus]

Dairy of the Dead? :blush:

[Used Future]

I don't have set top box so unfortunately I missed this one. I really like Charlie Brooker's stuff (Nathan Barley was great), and when I saw he was scripting a zombie satire it sounded like a cool combination. I was put off by the Big Brother angle and publicity shots of Davina in zombie makeup though. The fact that you likened it to 28 Days Later (which I hated) also arouses my suspicions that this might not be for me. Still, the proof of the pudding...as they say. Nice review.

[n3wt]

I completely missed Dead Set due to me being stupid I was ment to see it but dont know what happened!?! It does look like it was a great show.

*Hides behind the couch* I do watch Big Brother I dont mind it, and the whole concept for this looks awesome.

Nice review dude!

[Pyro Tramp]

Brooker said on the radio it was coming to channel 4 in the New Year sometime. That said, i don't know what it was you didn't like about 28 Days Later so hesitant to recommend it, it's got a very similar aesthetic but is more generic, the concept aside. There's always the DVD, that's where i saw it, though the are the inherently annoying problems of having to watch the recaps.

[n3wt]

If I dont catch it on tv over the New Year I will more than likly pick a copy up after Christmas.

That does annoy me, watching re-caps when you buy a DVD before every episode. There is no need for it on DVD'S as I have never just watched one episode in a series, when I have it on DVD.

[Used Future]

That said, i don't know what it was you didn't like about 28 Days Later so hesitant to recommend it, it's got a very similar aesthetic

That should be ok as the aesthetic of 28 Days Later isn't the problem. My biggest beef is the silly third act in which the soldiers decide to 'breed the women' and an undernourished looking Cillian Murphy suddenly goes all Rambo. Not only that but just because it was written by Alex The Beach Garland, and directed by Danny Trainspotting Boyle, we're not allowed to call it a zombie flick (which it definitely is); instead we're supposed to treat it as art house horror or something (which it definitely isn't). Plus the opening hospital scene is a direct steal from John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids, and the supposedly original concept of highly mobile zombies is lifted from Umberto Lenzi's Nightmare City and Cronenberg's Shivers. The scene involving the Rage infected kid in the petrol station is ripped from Romero's Dawn of the Dead (a sequence originally censored by the BBFC) Essentially it's nowhere near as clever or original as Garland, Boyle or certain critics would have us believe. I actually think Fresnadillo's sequel is far superior...rant ends.

*loud exhale*

So yeah if it's just the aesthetic then I might like Dead Set:blush:

[Pyro Tramp]

Heh, i think i prefer the sequel as well. As long your issues are with the narrative and pretence of Days, Dead Set *should* be ok with you. Obviously it does "borrow" a fair amount but then again, how original can zombies be? I was quite happy they kept the Big Brother message as a more of an undertone so hopefully that won't bother you. I think just as a Brit it's worth watching for being quite a daring venture against anything else on TV.

[Used Future]

I think just as a Brit it's worth watching for being quite a daring venture against anything else on TV.

Yeah that's a fair point I'll definitely be giving it a go at some point.

Re the stealing vs. borrowing from older films, I'd be a hypocrite if I condemned a film outright for doing this; you only need look at my Trash thread to see that. It is as you said the rubbish narrative and arty pretence that winds me up with 28 Days Later.

I actually went to a special preview screening of the film at the corner house in Manchester. Afterwards Alex Garland, Cillian Murphy, Danny Boyle and Naomi Harris came onto the stage for a Q&A session in which Garland and Boyle stressed how it wasn't just a zombie flick but something new and fresh. The whole vibe from them was a bit highbrow, but most of the audience were clearly Romero fans out for some zombie kicks (I know I was). I was dying to have a pop about the silly third act; how it was just a commercially well timed but derivative horror film, but I chickened out and it would have been rude anyway.

[Pyro Tramp]

Heads up for anyone interested, Dead Set starts this Tuesday on Channel 4, i believe. Funnily enough i'm watching it on DVD again as we speak. I did criticise the Andy Nyman producer character but now i've seen more of Charlie Brooker's (the writers) excellent TV show Screenwipe (think more intellectual/adult version of TV Burp) the character seems more and more like an embodiment of Brooker's personality.

[Thursday Next]

My biggest beef is the silly third act in which the soldiers decide to 'breed the women' and an undernourished looking Cillian Murphy suddenly goes all Rambo.

Funny, that's exactly what I did like about 28 Days Later! I thought the human horror of the survivors' behaviour more interesting and scary than than just running and blowing up zombies. Murphy coming over all 'Rambo' is undeniably silly, but hey, this is a film where we are believing in zombies in the first place so what the heck :)

I think there's a difference between films which are simply derivative and ones which use aspects of other films to good effect to create something complete of their own. There's no denying that neither 28 Days or Boyle's Sunshine are entirely original, but I think they're original enough.

As for it being pretentious...there is an arty quality to the way it is shot so I'm not sure it's claims are entirely unjustified. I don't know what claims were being made for the film that meant it didn't live up to your expectations - perhaps it was because I was expecting very little from it that I liked it so much. Tied in to that, I didn't watch Dead Set precisely because of all the hype around it (constantly trailed all over C4 ande E4), but on Pyro's recommendation, perhaps I will give it a try.

[Pyro Tramp]

Martyrs (Pascal Laugier, 2008)

http://www.cinemaisdope.com/news/films/martyrs/martyrs2008_5.jpg

Recently, France have been throwing out some pretty strong horror entries; most will be familiar with Switchblade Romance/Haute Tension, then there was Frontier(s) in 2007. Both films follow a very similar sylistic approach, extreme graphic violence. And it's worked, in fact the directors of each entry have gone to Hollywood and made The Hills Have Eyes and Hitman respectively. So it would seem Martyrs is continuing this trend in French genre, with Laugier set to direct the Hellraiser remake. But how does this compare to it's brethren? The answer is not very well.

The films starts out with a young girl escaping, for a quickhand description imagine Hostel. We're introduced to the two protoganists and their sisterly bond. It turns out the girl who was tortured is being tormented by something, which was actually quite jumpy at times and bit freaky. The narrative develops into revenge which works pretty well as films go, with some nice in your face shock violence. Yet, just as there's a relatively interesting dynamic established they disperse this notion and head straight into a Hostel story. It's a confusing turn, that splits the film right in two and is the start of the problems. Introducing a clandestine organistion into a tightly character bound film undermines a lot of the work gone into the film. From here it only gets worse.

The other girl is put in the focus from here on as some ludicrous plot intervention is introduced to give some sembelence of meaning to what happens. Basically, the plot of Hostel is regurgitated with some crap to justify it past just being torture. The main problem is the character is just so pathetic, despite being held against her will there's no fight in her! She just does nothing and lets it happen. There's one attempt at escape and one scene of "emotional" outburst of anger. It starts to get frustrating we're watching her go through this and they not actually bothered scipting any emotional development or making her a character to care about since SHE DOESN'T REACT TO ANYTHING. It's just not believable and watching this bloke smack her around just gets tedious. And i thought it was pretty insulting that they tried to tie in her lack of reaction as part of the character and thus their overall goal.

The film basically mushes A Tale of Two Sisters and Hostel together without ever giving enough commitment to either, leaving a very unsatisfying film. There's not much to recommend, the first half is pretty good even if it's isn't treading new ground. The second half is it's 'shock' half and there's one bit that's got an effect from Hellraiser written all over it. Sadly it's tries too hard to 'shock' without giving any character to care about and some hokey transcendal/existential excuse for what's happening. I'd heard strong reviews saying how hard it is too much at the end. They're right but it's hard for the wrong reasons.

1_5

[nebbit]

May give this one a miss :yup:

[Powdered Water]

I caught Dead Set this week Pyro, really enjoyed it. Thanks for the write up. The Producer was just hysterical.

[honeykid]

I enjoyed Dead Set. The most troubling thing about it was the fact that I still found Davina quite attractive as a zombie. :eek: :goof: :sick:

[Pyro Tramp]

Good to see it travelling across the water. What's Big Brother like over there?

[honeykid]

They don't have Davina, so it's ****. :yup:

[Powdered Water]

Oh, does Davina do the show in real life too? Over here I think it usually comes in a distant third to Survivor and The Amazing Race as all three are on the same channel. I've never watched it myself.

[honeykid]

Yes, Davina is, and has been, the host of BB since it started in 2000. There were also some past BB contestants in Dead Set too, but I think they were confined to a couple of cameo appearances in the green room, before the zombie action kicked in.

[Pyro Tramp]

Yeah forgot a lot of that meta-realism would be lost on ya PW. Wonder if it would have effected your viewing. You watching this year HK?

[honeykid]

Nope. I watched the first three, then I watched about the last 6 weeks of 2003. Watched most of 2004 and then about an hour altogether since then. I will stop by on an eviction night sometimes though, just to see Davina. ;)