View Full Version : Do you often feel nostalgic?
TheVanillaGorilla
05-28-24, 10:17 PM
It can be really hard to find a group of people you have chemistry with or even one special person. I was watching the show Friends. The show has its moments but it got me thinking that there's probably a group of people out there who I would fit right in with. A group perfect for me with a beautiful dynamic and flowing chemistry. When I watch these shows I think how wonderful it would be to have a group dynamic as strong as that and I want to look back on my life with something to feel nostalgic about. To have loved and lost rather than the void there is now. Why do so many people feel nostalgic about the chemistry between different characters in film and places they've never been to. Are there any others who have this strange feeling? Perhaps you could call it second hand nostalgia, but I don't know. I've come to realize I'm a hopeless romantic and dreamer, but I find it interesting to ask myself these questions.*
Captain Steel
05-28-24, 11:20 PM
I think we all long to belong to something. Maybe not something big, but just a small group of friends, or to have a place to go where everybody knows our name. It's human nature to want to be part of some kind of social group.
I have a phobia of large crowds and even of parties... yet I wish I could just sit down with about 5 or 6 people, share some drinks and talk. For those of us who don't have this as a regular part of our lives, it's hard not to envy those who do.
And nostalgia is important - last year some new neighbors befriended me & another neighbor who is older than I am. The new neighbors are in their early 30's while I'm 59. As much as I cherish new friends, the generation gap is clear. My new, young friends aren't even aware of most of the things that would be common knowledge among my peers, and it's awkward to have to explain everything with a history lesson.
Citizen Rules
05-29-24, 12:21 PM
That's an interesting post, VG. There are several thoughts running parallel to the main theme of nostalgia.
...I was watching the show Friends. The show has its moments but it got me thinking that there's probably a group of people out there who I would fit right in with. A group perfect for me with a beautiful dynamic and flowing chemistry. When I watch these shows I think how wonderful it would be to have a group dynamic as strong as that...For most of us the closest we can get to having a close knit, supportive group of friends like Friends, is to buy this: https://www.amazon.com/Friends-Complete-Collection-Anniversary-Repackaged/dp/B07S86K91M
I don't think any group of real life friends is going to have that 'beautiful dynamic and flowing chemistry', of Friends. That's the magic of fiction, it can be better than real life.
...I want to look back on my life with something to feel nostalgic about. To have loved and lost rather than the void there is now. If I hadn't tried as hard as I could to find that special someone then I'd be typing this alone with a pet rock. What I'm saying is TRY to find that special person, if, that's what you want in life. Don't give up.
Why do so many people feel nostalgic about the chemistry between different characters in film and places they've never been to. Are there any others who have this strange feeling?
I feel that warm fuzzy nostalgia almost nightly when I 'live' another life for a couple hours watching a movie. There's something about two people in a movie finding each other, falling in love that sparks those same feelings in us. Like you said it's 'second hand nostalgia'.
Mr Minio
05-29-24, 12:33 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzRk9f-f1Fc
I dislike Friends, too :(
I sometimes feel nostalgia when watching films. Sometimes even for things I never lived.
One of the defining characteristics of nostalgia is that it is, to some degree, false. It remembers certain things and not others, or, if based in youth, is specifically remembering a time where we were unaware of life's inherent messiness. It's often a desire to take our expanded minds and return them to smaller dimensions, which is obviously impossible.
That's why people are ostensibly "nostalgic" (a misnomer, but whatever) for things that never happened to them, like things in TV shows. They're always limited pictures of reality, and to whatever degree they contain trials and tribulations, they're never as thorny or intractable as the real thing, and you generally know it's going to be fine in the end.
Far from being strange or unusual, this is close to a universal thing, and it's just a part of growing up.
Yeah at this point it's well understood that people's memories are a mix of actual memories and things they've heard describe to them, or things they think they would have thought/done based on their sense of identity now, rather than then. Everybody has childhood memories that contain things which were not possible based on timeline or who was there, or whatever.
FilmBuff
05-29-24, 01:22 PM
Yeah at this point it's well understood that people's memories are a mix of actual memories and things they've heard describe to them, or things they think they would have thought/done based on their sense of identity now, rather than then. Everybody has childhood memories that contain things which were not possible based on timeline or who was there, or whatever.
Isn't that like the Mandela effect?
There's some similarity, though the key difference is that the Mandela effect is about shared false memories and not personal formative ones. And it's usually incidental changes rather than ones that, say, have to do with your sense of identity and whatever personal life narrative you've been writing.
crumbsroom
05-29-24, 01:49 PM
One of the defining characteristics of nostalgia is that it is, to some degree, false. It remembers certain things and not others, or, if based in youth, is specifically remembering a time where we were unaware of life's inherent messiness. It's often a desire to take our expanded minds and return them to smaller dimensions, which is obviously impossible.
That's why people are ostensibly "nostalgic" (a misnomer, but whatever) for things that never happened to them, like things in TV shows. They're always limited pictures of reality, and to whatever degree they contain trials and tribulations, they're never as thorny or intractable as the real thing, and you generally know it's going to be fine in the end.
Far from being strange or unusual, this is close to a universal thing, and it's just a part of growing up.
This is all basically true, and I think it freaks a lot of people out to think that a lot of the life that they think back on might never actually have happened. Or at least far from how they imagined it. Leaves them wondering 'well, if I wasn't any of those things...who the hell am I?"
But I'm personally at ease with all of this, because it still stands that my memories are still very much a representation of who I am, no matter how made up they might be. And maybe because of this, they are even more so mine, especially when you consider how the only place they exist are in my head...all just a result of some primordial need to make sense of 40 some years of totally pointless and arbitrary events happening to me.
At least I figured out a way to make all this empty nonsense matter. At least I have a reason now to look back fondly on it, whether or not there is actually anything back there to see.
Yeah, I think the degree to which people are freaked is largely the degree to which they obsess over fuzzy notions of identity as a thing that just exists in the ether, instead of a simple accounting of their actual choices.
It's often said that recent generations, inundated with media from a young age, fall into the trap of thinking of their life as a movie with themselves as the protagonist, and from that perspective a false formative memory would be a big deal. But if you think of your life as just one person gradually feeling out the world around them and trying to learn from it, it's not as big a deal if a few of your childhood memories are more useful than true.
I think the correct posture towards this stuff is to just use it to realize that we are all capable of deceiving ourselves about anything, great or small, and to exercise more humility as a result.
Mr Minio
05-29-24, 01:58 PM
One of the defining characteristics of nostalgia is that it is, to some degree, false. It remembers certain things and not others, or, if based in youth, is specifically remembering a time where we were unaware of life's inherent messiness. It's often a desire to take our expanded minds and return them to smaller dimensions, which is obviously impossible. Is that true? I mean, memory is obviously selective, but there's a difference between reinterpreting memories and having different memories.
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 01:59 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzRk9f-f1Fc
I dislike Friends, too :(
I sometimes feel nostalgia when watching films. Sometimes even for things I never lived.
I've found that being caring, compassionate, sympathetic and generous tends to attract people into your life who are "takers", ne'er do-wells, moochers, grubbers, grifters, dependents and needy (who are always looking for a favor, or time, or money, but who rarely are able to give any of these things in return - not that you're looking for their time, while they are always looking to suck up yours like an emotional vampire).
With "friends" like these...
We have to hope there is a reward for being good in heaven because, on earth, these qualities make you seem like a wounded sparrow when surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves.
I'm still struggling for that Ground Hog Day-type of epiphany where I decide to be good for it's own sake, not for any reward or recognition. But what makes it more difficult is, as I said, goodness & compassion towards others stands out like a lure or beacon to emotional predators that pretend to be your friends.
Is that true? I mean, memory is obviously selective, but there's a difference between reinterpreting memories and having different memories.
I'm confused by this question because it sounds like a response to the other stuff I said, in this post (https://www.movieforums.com/community/showthread.php?p=2463490#post2463490) about false memories, but the bit it's quoting is from a different part. Can you clarify?
Stirchley
05-29-24, 02:02 PM
And nostalgia is important - last year some new neighbors befriended me & another neighbor who is older than I am. The new neighbors are in their early 30's while I'm 59. As much as I cherish new friends, the generation gap is clear. My new, young friends aren't even aware of most of the things that would be common knowledge among my peers, and it's awkward to have to explain everything with a history lesson.
True, but they know tons of stuff that you don’t. I prefer young people to old people, I must admit. The most fun thing about being friends with people not one’s age is actually how much both groups have in common. I’ve met young people whose favorite movie is The Deer Hunter, just to give one example. How random is this. Or their favorite rock group is The Animals. Equally bizarre.
Mr Minio
05-29-24, 02:08 PM
I've found that being caring, compassionate, sympathetic and generous tends to attract people into your life who are "takers", ne'er do-wells, moochers, grubbers, grifters, dependents and needy (who are always looking for a favor, or time, or money, but who rarely are able to give any of these things in return - not that you're looking for their time, while they are always looking to suck up yours like an emotional vampire). Sorry to hear you had this kind of experience. I didn't, mercifully.
I'm confused by this question because it sounds like a response to the other stuff I said, in this post (https://www.movieforums.com/community/showthread.php?p=2463490#post2463490) about false memories, but the bit it's quoting is from a different part. Can you clarify? I quoted the wrong post, sorry!
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 02:12 PM
Yeah at this point it's well understood that people's memories are a mix of actual memories and things they've heard describe to them, or things they think they would have thought/done based on their sense of identity now, rather than then. Everybody has childhood memories that contain things which were not possible based on timeline or who was there, or whatever.
I had a friend, and within the group of friends he belonged (including his now wife and brother-in-law) they dubbed him a "history usurper"!
He lived a very sheltered childhood due to his mother who refused to allow him to do very much or go anywhere (I'm assuming this was one cause)... but he would adopt other people's stories and then repeat them (much later on) as his own!
As a kid he was always talking about adventures & travelling (we never went on a single trip together beyond going to the movies or the mall). Yet, decades after I went to Jamaica, he claims HE went to Jamaica and that he did all the things there that I told him I did.
He claimed we worked together at the restaurant where I got my first job at age 16 (he NEVER worked there). I was mugged during my college years - later he claimed he was mugged at that time. Basically, anything interesting or exciting that happened to anyone else became part of his personal past - I guess that's what happens when you spend most of your life after school locked in a house. I guess this was his way of having nostalgia to make up for a childhood that lacked any kind of really fond memories.
I quoted the wrong post, sorry!
Just making sure!
Yes, it is observably true in many anecdotal cases. People remember playing such-and-such game with their family and it hadn't even come out yet, people remember something about a family member when they were out of town, or more often, two people just have totally different memories of some major event as children, meaning at least one of them is wrong.
There's no real way to know exactly how common this is but there've been studies (and I say this as someone who is generally skeptical of phrases like "there have been studies," but the methodology on some of these looks pretty solid) that have shown that people can be primed to "fill in" fuzzy memories based on things they've been told since.
I had a friend, and within the group of friends he belonged (including his now wife and brother-in-law) they dubbed him a "history usurper"!
He lived a very sheltered childhood due to his mother who refused to allow him to do very much or go anywhere (I'm assuming this was one cause)... but he would adopt other people's stories and then repeat them (much later on) as his own!
As a kid he was always talking about adventures & travelling (we never went on a single trip together beyond going to the movies or the mall). Yet, decades after I went to Jamaica, he claims HE went to Jamaica and that he did all the things there that I told him I did.
He claimed we worked together at the restaurant where I got my first job at age 16 (he NEVER worked there). I was mugged during my college years - later he claimed he was mugged at that time. Basically, anything interesting or exciting that happened to anyone else became part of his personal past - I guess that's what happens when you spend most of your life after school locked in a house. I guess this was his way of having nostalgia to make up for a childhood that lacked any kind of really fond memories.
Yep, people will sometimes hear a story and years later act like it happened to them. And it's not always dishonest, sometimes they really think it did. Usually nothing quite that dramatic, of course, that probably speaks to something deeper/more troubling.
There are a few things from my childhood where, even now, I am genuinely not sure if it happened to me, or if I observed one of my siblings saying/doing it. We routinely have different memories about who said some funny line that we all still quote. But then, I have a lot of siblings, so maybe that makes it trickier.
I think this becomes less common over time. I've talked before about how there's a big line of demarcation in life between remembering things and remembering thinking about them at the time, usually sometime around when you hit double digits, if I had to put a range on it, and I think that also doubles as the time when this kind of mis-memory becomes moderately less frequent. Moderately.
John McClane
05-29-24, 02:15 PM
https://media1.tenor.com/m/nq6Q5WgA4tAAAAAC/themummy-rick-oconnell.gif
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 02:25 PM
Yep, people will sometimes hear a story and years later act like it happened to them. And it's not always dishonest, sometimes they really think it did. Usually nothing quite that dramatic, of course, that probably speaks to something deeper/more troubling.
There are a few things from my childhood where, even now, I am genuinely not sure if it happened to me, or if I observed one of my siblings saying/doing it. We routinely have different memories about who said some funny line that we all still quote. But then, I have a lot of siblings, so maybe that makes it trickier.
This is a great point as I never got the feeling my friend was out to deceive, (impress maybe, along the lines of a tall-tale-teller, but not deceive). It seemed like he actually processed these stories others told him & stored them in his mind as memories.
On several occasions when I called him out and literally proved his claim didn't happen to him, he appeared hurt. Not like someone caught in a lie, but like someone being told that they lacked credibility because their memory is false.
So I never got the impression that he did this on purpose or was intentionally attempting to lie. That's probably why the group who knew about this trait viewed it more as an eccentricity where as if it was thought as compulsive lying, it would have been viewed less favorably.
I actually have a specific story relating to this I can share.
Years ago I was playing a board game, a word guessing kind of game, with some friends. Me and my teammate had a particularly good turn and, to my memory, we had some discussion afterwards about how we could've done this and it might've resulted in this even better turn. Or it might've been a completely fictional turn we might've taken in some other context. Something like that.
Months later, when we were talking to some other people in this little online voice chat thing, he referenced this hypothetical as if it had actually happened. "Remember that great turn we had, where we got six words with one hint?"
I should add, this is a very smart man. One of the smartest men I know. A capable lawyer, tremendous chess player, all sorts of other intellectual credentials I could list. But my memory, which I'm about 75-80% sure of, is that he's remembering a thing that did not happen. He's mentioned it several other times since and I have never contradicted him, in part because I don't think we'd be able to resolve it (not that he'd be mad at the suggestion or anything).
The fact that I'm "only" 75-80% sure I'm right speaks to the nature of the problem, too.
This is a great point as I never got the feeling my friend was out to deceive, (impress maybe, along the lines of a tall-tale-teller, but not deceive). It seemed like he actually processed these stories others told him & stored them in his mind as memories.
Yeah, it gets thorny when it's a really big thing. Not remembering which person in your family said or did something (particularly if you were all kids) is one thing. Misremembering whether you visited an entire country (and not in a "oh we went through Europe and passed through X" way) is something else, so I can kind of understand why that would be disturbing. Everyone is susceptible to some degree, but I don't think everyone is susceptible to that level of self-deception, and it would be hard for me to witness that level of self-deception without it influencing my overall opinion of the person and their trustworthiness.
One really important part of this is the reinforcement of the false relaying. If someone contradicts you immediately, that's one thing. If you're telling people who have no way of knowing if it's true, and you tell people for awhile, the mere act of saying it happened to you without being contradicted makes the false memory stronger.
Mr Minio
05-29-24, 02:31 PM
Yes, it is observably true in many anecdotal cases. People remember playing such-and-such game with their family and it hadn't even come out yet Interesting. I remember playing with toy soldiers that I perhaps never ever had. I also had a memory of throwing one of the soldiers behind a wardrobe. Years later, during renovation, when they pulled off the wardrobe, I was sure to find the soldier there. But it wasn't there. The soldier toys might've been from my dream, a movie I watched, or an actual memory when I was very little, meaning I might've had them, and maybe one of them really was behind the wardrobe for some time but it was taken from there long before and nobody else remembered.
I also have a childhood memory where I would jump up and it would take a considerable moment before I landed back on the ground. A second, at least. I also had a similar sensation when I walked really, really fast. It felt like I was flying. I had asked my mom and she had a similar memory from when she was a kid.
crumbsroom
05-29-24, 02:33 PM
We have to hope there is a reward for being good in heaven
Being good is a reward in and of itself.
I really wanna dig into that but it's the kind of statement nobody can reply to without breaking the rules, so I guess I won't/can't.
If anybody fancies a private conversation about metaphysics and ethics feel free to hit me up someday.
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 02:44 PM
Being good is a reward in and of itself.
Yes, that's why I mentioned the concept in Ground Hog Day.
Understanding this is similar to the concept of reaching enlightenment.
"Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water."
You do the same things over and over whether you're enlightened or not - the difference is how you think & feel about what your doing; the spirit in which you do them, that makes all the difference in the world. And within the power of changing perspective lies the potential for true freedom. (Or something like that!) ;)
But for some, goodness & compassion are seen as a weakness to be exploited.
There's a reason the expression exists: nice guys finish last.
crumbsroom
05-29-24, 02:50 PM
But for some, goodness & compassion are seen as a weakness to be exploited.
There's a reason the expression exists: nice guys finish last.
I think it is possible to be both good and not a total dupe. It might be a fine line, but it's there.
Also, it's important to mention that if you're not in a race, you can't finish last. Like me. I'm just standing here as everyone leaves me in the dust, mostly laughing at how silly everyone looks when they run. Not able figure out why everyone is so eager to run out of breath to get to these things that don't matter in the slightest.
Citizen Rules
05-29-24, 03:07 PM
...If anybody fancies a private conversation about metaphysics and ethics feel free to hit me up someday.Start a thread, that sounds interesting.
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 03:11 PM
I'm still not sure what to make of this one: back in the 80's I had a girlfriend named Patricia. She liked to go by "Pat". I called her "Patty" which she didn't like, but I explained I felt that "Pat" sounded too ambiguous.
So, I have this specific memory that every time we had this conversation (which was often, since I had to call her something) she would then imitate this SNL skit (and subsequent movie called "It's Pat"). She would do the voice of the "Pat" character and everything. I have memories of her doing the impression in private with me and even doing it for others where we worked whenever the topic of her name came up.
For those who don't remember, the running joke of the skit was that "Pat" was sexually androgynous and no one could figure out if he/she was male or female. Pat would often refer to her equally-ambiguous significant other: "Chris".
So one day (in recent times) I was curious who had played "Pat" on SNL and in the movie. The lady who played Pat was a lesser-known Not Ready for Prime Time Player named Julia Sweeney (no wonder I couldn't remember as her name still doesn't sound familiar).
Here's the problem: the character didn't appear until 1990 - this is about 3 years after I broke up with my Pat.
So why do I have the specific memory of her doing the character from SNL (and a movie) whenever we had a discussion about her name before said character even existed?
This one's really driving me crazy because I remember her doing the character & talking about the character on SEVERAL occasions.
P.S. The only explanation I can come up with is that I did speak to her a couple times almost a decade after we broke up - and it's possible she made the reference then, and I'm just switching the timeframe around.
Mr Minio
05-29-24, 03:13 PM
Maybe she came up with and then pitched the sketch to the producers.
matt72582
05-29-24, 03:50 PM
Why do so many people feel nostalgic about the chemistry between different characters in film and places they've never been to.
I think it's because we pick and choose the best stuff without having to endure the negative aspects of this vicariousness. Our imaginations have moments of fun thinking about the possibilities, and of course we can also edit on our feet/head.
Citizen Rules
05-29-24, 03:57 PM
I've found that being caring, compassionate, sympathetic and generous tends to attract people into your life who are "takers", ne'er do-wells, moochers, grubbers, grifters, dependents and needy (who are always looking for a favor, or time, or money, but who rarely are able to give any of these things in return - not that you're looking for their time, while they are always looking to suck up yours like an emotional vampire)...Captain, this is so you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhYQ-aAL-aY (https://surprise.ly/v/?ZhYQ-aAL-aY:0:76:0:100)
Remember The Rules of Acquisition;)
Captain Steel
05-29-24, 07:50 PM
Captain, this is so you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhYQ-aAL-aY (https://surprise.ly/v/?ZhYQ-aAL-aY:0:76:0:100)
Remember The Rules of Acquisition;)
I didn't even know Odo and Kira ever "got together"!
Despite all I've said, I won't ever stop doing good deeds.
After all I'm a phila... philan.. phil.. yes.. *ahem*... a good deed doer!
For me nostalgia is an autumnal vibe, with images of like bare tree branches against a cloudy sky, and birds cawing menacingly, and Baroque adagio music, and thinking wistfully of those times when i'd have a female friend before puberty hit, and those kinds of things, i feel it about 5 times a day.
John McClane
05-29-24, 08:18 PM
Re being nice: I opt for the give someone the rope and if they are dead set on making the deadly knot that’s on them.
I did get bullied into giving a guy a $20 one time because I was a country ****ing rube (and it wasn’t my money). I don’t carry cash anymore because of that. Baltimore is a great city if you’re hungry!
man i’m feeling nostalgic now
crumbsroom
05-29-24, 09:09 PM
P.S. The only explanation I can come up with is that I did speak to her a couple times almost a decade after we broke up - and it's possible she made the reference then, and I'm just switching the timeframe around.
Most likely this. Generally our brains (and certainly my brain) are pretty bad at keeping things in order of how they actually happened.
Citizen Rules
05-29-24, 09:36 PM
So, I have this specific memory that every time we had this conversation (which was often, since I had to call her something) she would then imitate this SNL skit (and subsequent movie called "It's Pat"). She would do the voice of the "Pat" character and everything. I have memories of her doing the impression in private with me and even doing it for others where we worked whenever the topic of her name came up.Knowing that you think about cross universe movie and comic book characters interacting in unique ways, makes me think that sometime after you broke up with Pat, you were thinking about her and randomly remembering the Pat episodes from SNL... Oh, Julia Sweeney was a cutey! I always liked her on SNL.
BTW, I thought you despised starting sentences with so? So what happened;)
Captain Steel
05-30-24, 12:06 AM
Knowing that you think about cross universe movie and comic book characters interacting in unique ways, makes me think that sometime after you broke up with Pat, you were thinking about her and randomly remembering the Pat episodes from SNL... Oh, Julia Sweeney was a cutey! I always liked her on SNL.
BTW, I thought you despised starting sentences with so? So what happened;)
I didn't mean to continue talking about this, but the narrative I created in my mind (apparently) surrounding this alleged memory has actually become part of my nostalgia.
In my memory, Pat going into an imitation of the skit was kind of changing the subject from one that could have potentially turned contentious to something silly. So I remember it very fondly because it's a funny memory from my time with her.
I'm sad that it apparently didn't happen the way I remember it. The dates don't lie.
P.S. Check my usage of "so" (and let me know if I've broken my own rules). I use it for thus, thusly, therefore, getting to the crux of the matter, in conclusion... or where previous sentences have set up a preface or have been building to a conclusion. Also, used for "muchly" or "very"; as in, "It's SO windy out today."
This coincidentally popped up in one of my feeds just now:
99013
Summary: the time people think is the best, in aggregate, is generally whatever year they were between 11-16. Which I think fits this theory pretty well:
It remembers certain things and not others, or, if based in youth, is specifically remembering a time where we were unaware of life's inherent messiness. It's often a desire to take our expanded minds and return them to smaller dimensions, which is obviously impossible.
Citizen Rules
05-30-24, 12:52 PM
This coincidentally popped up in one of my feeds just now:
Summary: the time people think is the best, in aggregate, is generally whatever year they were between 11-16. Which I think fits this theory pretty well:That graph does seem to fit your hypothesis to a tee. Though I must be odd, because if I understand what being nostalgic about a decade entails, then I fall outside of that curve, as I would be 'nostalgic' about the 1950s, if I'm understand how other's are using that term.
John McClane
05-30-24, 01:28 PM
Definitely 17-21 for me. Although, 7-8 were pretty good. Minus the death of my grandpa. But even that kinda makes me nostalgic. Damn you Captain Steel for making this thread! It was already bad enough. Now my insides get soft every time I see this thread pop up.
https://i.ibb.co/4ZLxNZD/ezgif-7-53ff52845d.gif
EDIT: Yoda, that study tells me kids are idiots? ;)
Stirchley
05-31-24, 12:59 PM
As a kid he was always talking about adventures & travelling (we never went on a single trip together beyond going to the movies or the mall). Yet, decades after I went to Jamaica, he claims HE went to Jamaica and that he did all the things there that I told him I did.
He claimed we worked together at the restaurant where I got my first job at age 16 (he NEVER worked there). I was mugged during my college years - later he claimed he was mugged at that time. Basically, anything interesting or exciting that happened to anyone else became part of his personal past - I guess that's what happens when you spend most of your life after school locked in a house. I guess this was his way of having nostalgia to make up for a childhood that lacked any kind of really fond memories.
He sounds like he was a very lonely guy who had to invent memories he never had.
Captain Steel
05-31-24, 01:22 PM
He sounds like he was a very lonely guy who had to invent memories he never had.
Agreed. In grammar school, his mom would lock him in the house after school on most days. I'd go talk to him through the window screen.
Stirchley
05-31-24, 01:27 PM
Agreed. In grammar school, his mom would lock him in the house after school on most days. I'd go talk to him through the window screen.
Yet - I think you did mention he’s married?
Captain Steel
05-31-24, 01:47 PM
Yet - I think you did mention he’s married?
Oh yes. Things worked out relatively nicely. He's married (I was best man at his wedding) & has a child who's a teenager now. His parents still live down the street from me as I now live in what was my parents' house.
Stirchley
05-31-24, 02:00 PM
Oh yes. Things worked out relatively nicely. He's married (I was best man at his wedding) & has a child who's a teenager now. His parents still live down the street from me as I now live in what was my parents' house.
Glad to hear this. :)
Plot twist: Steel's the one who's married, and this guy is just saying it's him again.
Stirchley
05-31-24, 02:45 PM
Plot twist: Steel's the one who's married, and this guy is just saying it's him again.
Ha, there ya go! :p
Captain Steel
05-31-24, 06:45 PM
Plot twist: Steel's the one who's married, and this guy is just saying it's him again.
Somehow I saw this coming! :D
GulfportDoc
05-31-24, 07:55 PM
That graph does seem to fit your hypothesis to a tee. Though I must be odd, because if I understand what being nostalgic about a decade entails, then I fall outside of that curve, as I would be 'nostalgic' about the 1950s, if I'm understand how other's are using that term.
I too have lots of nostalgia about the 1950s, mostly because I admire the way society was back then, as I was gradually coming of age.
But I had the times of my life, was most productive, and had the most fun from ages 18-30 (1962-1974).
Citizen Rules
05-31-24, 09:42 PM
I too have lots of nostalgia about the 1950s, mostly because I admire the way society was back then, as I was gradually coming of age.
But I had the times of my life, was most productive, and had the most fun from ages 18-30 (1962-1974).Lots of dramatic changes in American society between those years. If you had to live in one of those times, say like an alternative reality which time frame would you choose? The Camelot early 60s years? The Summer of Love/hippie movement of 67-68. The turbulent years of late 68-69 with the self proclaimed 'death' of the hippie movement, the Manson slayings and urban unrest. Or the beginning of the end of Vietnam in the early 70s or the beginning of the disco era in 74?
I used to feel more nostalgic than I do now. I miss those days.
FilmBuff
05-31-24, 10:33 PM
I am nostalgic for the days when I was too young to experience nostalgia.
Citizen Rules
05-31-24, 10:44 PM
I'm nostalgic for someone espousing what nostalgia means to them?
Mr Minio
06-01-24, 04:17 AM
I used to feel more nostalgic than I do now. I miss those days.
All work and no fun makes Yoda an unnostalgic boy.
Captain Steel
06-01-24, 07:26 PM
Summary: the time people think is the best, in aggregate, is generally whatever year they were between 11-16. Which I think fits this theory pretty well:
Funny thing is, at that age when my peers were listening to the Bay City Rollers, Kiss and the Bee Gees (Disco era that is), I was discovering Doo-Wop music (because my older brothers were going through their own nostalgic period & purchasing vintage albums).
Musically, I was always about 2 decades behind. Although I skipped Disco and went right to New Wave. Rap considered as music pretty much ended my following of anything considered popular. I've been in limbo ever since.
Speaking of the Bee Gees: my first exposure to them was their Disco songs - I hated them.
Much, much later I discovered they were a brother-band from the 60's - I absolutely loved their early stuff (and still can't stand their disco songs)! ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbsUj3oK1wU
Barry: the handsome heartthrob, Robin: the class clown, Morris: the quiet one.
It's like Bloom's anxiety of influence.
GulfportDoc
06-02-24, 08:19 PM
Lots of dramatic changes in American society between those years. If you had to live in one of those times, say like an alternative reality which time frame would you choose? The Camelot early 60s years? The Summer of Love/hippie movement of 67-68. The turbulent years of late 68-69 with the self proclaimed 'death' of the hippie movement, the Manson slayings and urban unrest. Or the beginning of the end of Vietnam in the early 70s or the beginning of the disco era in 74?
If you held a gun to my head, I'd probably say the early '60s. After JFK was assassinated, Camelot died too, and post war America hit a brick wall. The Hippie movement started taking hold in '64, then soon society started getting much meaner.
liscarkat
10-14-24, 10:29 PM
All I ever feel is nostalgic. Today sucks.
Citizen Rules
10-14-24, 10:38 PM
All I ever feel is nostalgic. Today sucks.Hey you're my twin:p I say the 1950s ruled, how bout you?
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