Car accident

[AgrippinaX]

So, I was in a car accident yesterday morning. I was completely unharmed physically (or so I think/feel, to your point, Yoda), but it has messed with my head in a proper dystopian way. There was a lot of admin and I got a kind of a welfare check call today which freaked me out. I’m back to work today though I was offered time off because I know I’d be watching something inappropriately depressing in bed otherwise, and how is that helpful?

Nothing happened per se, but I feel numb and profoundly weird on every level. I also have all sorts of what they call ‘intrusive thoughts’ which aren’t really appropriate for any medium except my shrink.

Always feel all these ‘80s car-themed horror films miss the mark/the point a bit, much as I like them. I’d be interested to dig up something like Skinamarink approach-wise that tries to imitate how it feels to be inside a moving vehicle and the peculiar disorientation associated with that (I’m sure that’s the sort of thing Dashcam was aiming for, though it failed spectacularly imo).

My boss told me to tell a select group of people about the crash yesterday, so that ‘if I snapped at them during office hours, they knew why’. I don’t really snap at people, but I guess that’s sensible advice, though now I feel strange as everyone asks how I’m feeling etc.

Not sure what my point is, but I guess if anyone has any thoughts about any of the above, be that car accidents or films with car POVs, they are welcome.

[Yoda]

Can't think of any films that do that off the top of my head, but I can say that after my wife and I were in a major car crash, they certainly felt different to see on screen. You can sort of shrug them off otherwise, but they definitely felt tenser and I'd pay more attention to the actual mechanics of what was happening to the car(s), wondering about how that movement changed things inside, etc.

So, I suppose it'd be worth preparing for that before watching anything, just in case you have strong reactions to it.

(Really glad you're okay.)

[AgrippinaX]

Can't think of any films that do that off the top of my head, but I can say that after my wife and I were in a major car crash, they certainly felt different to see on screen. You can sort of shrug them off otherwise, but they definitely felt tenser and I'd pay more attention to the actual mechanics of what was happening to the car(s), wondering about how that movement changed things inside, etc.

So, I suppose it'd be worth preparing for that before watching anything, just in case you have strong reactions to it.

(Really glad you're okay.)

Thank you for all your support, that was very much appreciated. The only thing I’ve got is some kind of a stress cough which is clearly psychosomatic (I did not have any sign of a cold until it happened and now I walk around choking, isn’t this surreal?).

And yes, that’s a good point about mechanics, I feel the change in depth perception very strongly (I have synesthesia, so I’ve had to delete the song I was listening to when it happened). But yes, I suppose I almost have a kind of (sad? Morbid?) curiosity about it now in terms of how different it would feel to watch something with this subplot. Not even a crash, just driving.

Maybe I’ll hold off on that for now, anyway, I don’t think I’m quite thinking straight. It’s all very mysterious, for sure.

Dashcam definitely belongs in the extreme horror thread by the way, it was revolting (even though it doesn’t have much gore), and I do not say that lightly.

In an ideal world, I feel like I should be watching safe ‘80s stuff like Gremlins for a bit, but my neurotic brain just goes in all the wrong directions.

[John McClane]

CBT therapy (https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral) was instrumental in me conquering some of my most traumatic memories. If you feel like you can't get over things by yourself there's no shame in finding someone to help.

[AgrippinaX]

CBT therapy (https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral) was instrumental in me conquering some of my most traumatic memories. If you feel like you can't get over things by yourself there's no shame in finding someone to help.

Thank you. Might do that. I don’t feel that affected which actually I think is a pretty ominous sign. I did have a therapist at some point so there’s definitely always that.

Yeah, 3 hours later that is very amusing to read, hell yes I’m affected.

[AgrippinaX]

Thank you, everyone. Feeling a bit better today.

[gbgoodies]

Thank you, everyone. Feeling a bit better today.


91865

[Captain Steel]

As with any trauma, it will take time for the new thoughts & feelings to subside.

I've had a couple accidents (none with injuries luckily). But one "funny" story from my last collision was... although damaged, my car was still drivable (while the woman's who hit me was totaled) - I was waiting on the side of the road and the cops were just about ready to send me on my way.

The collision was at an intersection. As I'm in my car talking to the cop I can see the traffic behind him as rubber-neckers are looking to see what happened. Sure enough, right at this moment, one car with the driver looking at the crash site instead of what's in front of him rear-ends the car in front of him!

Both I and the cop I was talking to said "Oh sh*t!" in unison and I said, "I don't believe that just happened!"
So now the cops had a second accident to attend to.

[gbgoodies]

As with any trauma, it will take time for the new thoughts & feelings to subside.


I think the amount of time it will take for the feelings to subside depends on the circumstances of the accident.

I've been in three accidents where I was the driver, and my car was just sitting at a red light or a stop sign, and I got rear-ended by the car behind me when the driver wasn't paying attention. (Sometimes I think I drive an invisible car. :rolleyes:) Fortunately nobody was injured in any of those accidents, and I got over them pretty quickly.

But I was in an accident where I was the passenger, (in the front seat), and I was paying better attention than the driver, and I knew that the accident was about to happen, but I couldn't do anything about it. It was a three car accident, we were in the middle car, and I was the only person who was injured enough to have to go to the hospital. I had a concussion, a fractured finger, and almost 30 stitches on my face.

It took me a long time to get over that accident, and to this day, I'm still a nervous passenger when I sit in the front seat, so much so that several people won't let me sit in the front seat when they're driving. (I tend to watch the traffic better than the driver, and I point out every bad driver and every potential accident.)

[Corax]

Sorry to hear it. The mundane truism that time makes everything better I think has truth to it.

[AgrippinaX]

As with any trauma, it will take time for the new thoughts & feelings to subside.

I've had a couple accidents (none with injuries luckily). But one "funny" story from my last collision was... although damaged, my car was still drivable (while the woman's who hit me was totaled) - I was waiting on the side of the road and the cops were just about ready to send me on my way.

The collision was at an intersection. As I'm in my car talking to the cop I can see the traffic behind him as rubber-neckers are looking to see what happened. Sure enough, right at this moment, one car with the driver looking at the crash site instead of what's in front of him rear-ends the car in front of him!

Both I and the cop I was talking to said "Oh sh*t!" in unison and I said, "I don't believe that just happened!"
So now the cops had a second accident to attend to.

That sounds… intense. But yes, your story is quite ‘funny’. Mine was, in the same dark way, when I came back to the office looking prim and proper and had the best excuse ever for being late. Convenient that this was literally next to my office; didn’t even occur to me to go home.

[ScarletLion]

Glad you're ok. Sounds horrendous.

I take it you've seen 'Titane' ? Not really what you're after but is still on theme.

I have a phobia of RTAs. Hate them and dislike travelling by road. But I love watching road movies.

[Sedai]

Wow - sorry to hear about the crash, but glad to hear you are on the mend!

[John Dumbear]

Glad you're doing alright physically. The mental end of it can take time, which is expected. Trauma, anxiousness, anger, confusion, all those nasty human traits come to the surface. Yet time will heal, but does make you more aware of your surroundings when you get behind the wheel again.

I've totalled five cars in my life. One was my fault, three were not and one was a huge eight point buck. I must be immortal because I walked away unscathed from all. That, or cars are just better engineered with safety first in mind.

But I can attest, those air bags going off is a rush!

[honeykid]

Sorry to hear you've been through this, AgrippinaX I'm glad you're 'ok' but it can certainly take some time for these things to be processed and the ripples to bump into the rest of your life. Trauma, much like grief, plays out differently with each of us and, sometimes, in different ways to the same person. It depends on a lot of things so don't think 'this is ok because X hasn't happened/I don't/do feel a particular way.

My sister was in a car accident when she was a 18. It was at night on a country lane and they swerved to miss a rabbit which ran out and they flipped over completely in a barrel role and landed on its wheels. Everyone was fine, the car was fine and she came home high on adrenline and as 'up' as I've ever seen her. The rest of the evening was fine, but the next day she was in tears and almost inconsolable. I didn't really start processing my aneurysm for months and it's something which I think will always be with me and get triggered every now and then.

Thankfully I've only ever been in prangs but I've always felt that time goes super-slow in that final second or so as you realise it's going to happen.

I guess I'd just suggest keeping an eye on yourself and be aware of your feelings and what your body is telling you. I know that sounds like a load of hippy bullshit, but after my aneurysm this is what I had to do to keep getting well.

[AgrippinaX]

Glad you're ok. Sounds horrendous.

I take it you've seen 'Titane' ? Not really what you're after but is still on theme.

I have a phobia of RTAs. Hate them and dislike travelling by road. But I love watching road movies.

Thank you (especially for the commiseration)! Yeah, I keep coming back to the fact it was a Tuesday which is a bit of a point I’m clearly mentally stuck on, but I still feel like it’s so ridiculous, stuff like that just doesn’t happen on a Tuesday.

I loved Titane, it was profoundly ****ed-up (just as I like ‘em…), much better than Raw, and I’m overdue a rewatch, so thanks for that. Funnily enough, I started writing the initial post pretty soon after it all happened (I guess this is my safe place), but then went back and forth about posting (ended up going to the Shoutbox first) and was just in complete and utter shock, but anyway, my first thought was Cronenberg’s Crash, and then my brain went, Might be best if I don’t mention that one, because, yeah, I’m not even going there. I’m still feeling profoundly weird, but not that weird. (I adore the film though so in that sense it’s perfectly apt).

I never was afraid of RTAs as such, but I always felt uncomfortable behind the wheel, hated driving lessons and just felt that the whole thing wasn’t for me; the expectation that the driver pays attention to everything at all times, looks everywhere and is just completely ****ing omniscient and omnipresent had always really bothered me, I have synesthesia, for crying out loud, I concentrate on the task at hand like a maniac and can forget to eat, but other than that, I’m overly sensitive to stimuli, and this need to do everything at the same time and not die is just too much. Besides, I can barely leave the house/work/function without headphones (I’ve never in my life driven in headphones, I’m not suicidal), and driving without music is even more stressful; I need it to tune things out which then in turn impacts safety.

Well, that was a rant, but it sort of sums up my state of mind.

Shockingly, this morning I drove to the garden centre a 12-minute walk away from my house (no, I don’t know why, either), and the world didn’t end, so I guess I can still drive. :)

But overall yes, I’m a mess. Yesterday when I was at work I had a lovely leisurely chat with my boss in the main conference room… looked around at the glass walls and saw 20 people politely waiting outside for us to finish… (it’s the biggest enormous meeting room) and just went back to my convo. He’s a lovely guy and I adore him so he just went, ‘Yup, I guess no one is kicking you out of a meeting room.’

So then I get up, we leave, pass the 20 people, he gestures at them and says, ‘Aren’t you in that meeting?’.

It’s fascinating and scary how all mental capacity just goes, poof.

[AgrippinaX]

Sorry to hear you've been through this, AgrippinaX I'm glad you're 'ok' but it can certainly take some time for these things to be processed and the ripples to bump into the rest of your life. Trauma, much like grief, plays out differently with each of us and, sometimes, in different ways to the same person. It depends on a lot of things so don't think 'this is ok because X hasn't happened/I don't/do feel a particular way.

My sister was in a car accident when she was a 18. It was at night on a country lane and they swerved to miss a rabbit which ran out and they flipped over completely in a barrel role and landed on its wheels. Everyone was fine, the car was fine and she came home high on adrenline and as 'up' as I've ever seen her. The rest of the evening was fine, but the next day she was in tears and almost inconsolable. I didn't really start processing my aneurysm for months and it's something which I think will always be with me and get triggered every now and then.

Thankfully I've only ever been in prangs but I've always felt that time goes super-slow in that final second or so as you realise it's going to happen.

I guess I'd just suggest keeping an eye on yourself and be aware of your feelings and what your body is telling you. I know that sounds like a load of hippy bullshit, but after my aneurysm this is what I had to do to keep getting well.

Thank you so much, yes, I can relate to the ‘next day’ mood swings. No hippy bullshit whatsoever, I really appreciate it. Actually very interesting point about ‘being up’, I’m suddenly pretty sure I’m at that stage right now, so best be careful and stay on the sofa. :) Thanks for that.

[AgrippinaX]

Glad you're doing alright physically. The mental end of it can take time, which is expected. Trauma, anxiousness, anger, confusion, all those nasty human traits come to the surface. Yet time will heal, but does make you more aware of your surroundings when you get behind the wheel again.

I've totalled five cars in my life. One was my fault, three were not and one was a huge eight point buck. I must be immortal because I walked away unscathed from all. That, or cars are just better engineered with safety first in mind.

But I can attest, those air bags going off is a rush!

That does…. Put things in perspective for me.

Fun fact: I haven’t told ANYONE in my family. Am I crazy?

I live alone.

[ScarletLion]

Thank you (especially for the commiseration)! Yeah, I keep coming back to the fact it was a Tuesday which is a bit of a point I’m clearly mentally stuck on, but I still feel like it’s so ridiculous, stuff like that just doesn’t happen on a Tuesday.

I loved Titane, it was profoundly ****ed-up (just as I like ‘em…), much better than Raw, and I’m overdue a rewatch, so thanks for that. Funnily enough, I started writing the initial post pretty soon after it all happened (I guess this is my safe place), but then went back and forth about posting (ended up going to the Shoutbox first) and was just in complete and utter shock, but anyway, my first thought was Cronenberg’s Crash, and then my brain went, Might be best if I don’t mention that one, because, yeah, I’m not even going there. I’m still feeling profoundly weird, but not that weird. (I adore the film though so in that sense it’s perfectly apt).

I never was afraid of RTAs as such, but I always felt uncomfortable behind the wheel, hated driving lessons and just felt that the whole thing wasn’t for me; the expectation that the driver pays attention to everything at all times, looks everywhere and is just completely ****ing omniscient and omnipresent had always really bothered me, I have synesthesia, for crying out loud, I concentrate on the task at hand like a maniac and can forget to eat, but other than that, I’m overly sensitive to stimuli, and this need to do everything at the same time and not die is just too much. Besides, I can barely leave the house/work/function without headphones (I’ve never in my life driven in headphones, I’m not suicidal), and driving without music is even more stressful; I need it to tune things out which then in turn impacts safety.

Well, that was a rant, but it sort of sums up my state of mind.

Shockingly, this morning I drove to the garden centre a 12-minute walk away from my house (no, I don’t know why, either), and the world didn’t end, so I guess I can still drive. :)

But overall yes, I’m a mess. Yesterday when I was at work I had a lovely leisurely chat with my boss in the main conference room… looked around at the glass walls and saw 20 people politely waiting outside for us to finish… (it’s the biggest enormous meeting room) and just went back to my convo. He’s a lovely guy and I adore him so he just went, ‘Yup, I guess no one is kicking you out of a meeting room.’

So then I get up, we leave, pass the 20 people, he gestures at them and says, ‘Aren’t you in that meeting?’.

It’s fascinating and scary how all mental capacity just goes, poof.

I have 2 suggestions for you - both 20 minute short documentaries. Neither of which have anything to do with cars. Quite the opposite. You may be in the mood for these or may hate them, just thought I'd try. The first is about inner peace, solitude, finding happiness in the most basic things in life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNl7qmKIEAs


The second is more downbeat and worrying. About climate change but equally fantastic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mKBZ9dy5fQ

[AgrippinaX]

I have 2 suggestions for you - both 20 minute short documentaries. Neither of which have anything to do with cars. Quite the opposite. You may be in the mood for these or may hate them, just thought I'd try. The first is about inner peace, solitude, finding happiness in the most basic things in life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNl7qmKIEAs


The second is more downbeat and worrying. About climate change but equally fantastic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mKBZ9dy5fQ

Thank you so much. I’ll give that a try in a few hours.

[AgrippinaX]

I have 2 suggestions for you - both 20 minute short documentaries. Neither of which have anything to do with cars. Quite the opposite. You may be in the mood for these or may hate them, just thought I'd try. The first is about inner peace, solitude, finding happiness in the most basic things in life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNl7qmKIEAs


The second is more downbeat and worrying. About climate change but equally fantastic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mKBZ9dy5fQ

Thank you for these! There’s something wonderfully random and wholesome about them and especially the one about the sheep/farming. Just what I needed. I don’t know if I’ve gained inner peace, but I’m suddenly super-jealous of the proximity to nature and just ability to breathe.

[gbgoodies]

Thank you (especially for the commiseration)! Yeah, I keep coming back to the fact it was a Tuesday which is a bit of a point I’m clearly mentally stuck on, but I still feel like it’s so ridiculous, stuff like that just doesn’t happen on a Tuesday.

I loved Titane, it was profoundly ****ed-up (just as I like ‘em…), much better than Raw, and I’m overdue a rewatch, so thanks for that. Funnily enough, I started writing the initial post pretty soon after it all happened (I guess this is my safe place), but then went back and forth about posting (ended up going to the Shoutbox first) and was just in complete and utter shock, but anyway, my first thought was Cronenberg’s Crash, and then my brain went, Might be best if I don’t mention that one, because, yeah, I’m not even going there. I’m still feeling profoundly weird, but not that weird. (I adore the film though so in that sense it’s perfectly apt).

I never was afraid of RTAs as such, but I always felt uncomfortable behind the wheel, hated driving lessons and just felt that the whole thing wasn’t for me; the expectation that the driver pays attention to everything at all times, looks everywhere and is just completely ****ing omniscient and omnipresent had always really bothered me, I have synesthesia, for crying out loud, I concentrate on the task at hand like a maniac and can forget to eat, but other than that, I’m overly sensitive to stimuli, and this need to do everything at the same time and not die is just too much. Besides, I can barely leave the house/work/function without headphones (I’ve never in my life driven in headphones, I’m not suicidal), and driving without music is even more stressful; I need it to tune things out which then in turn impacts safety.

Well, that was a rant, but it sort of sums up my state of mind.

Shockingly, this morning I drove to the garden centre a 12-minute walk away from my house (no, I don’t know why, either), and the world didn’t end, so I guess I can still drive. :)

But overall yes, I’m a mess. Yesterday when I was at work I had a lovely leisurely chat with my boss in the main conference room… looked around at the glass walls and saw 20 people politely waiting outside for us to finish… (it’s the biggest enormous meeting room) and just went back to my convo. He’s a lovely guy and I adore him so he just went, ‘Yup, I guess no one is kicking you out of a meeting room.’

So then I get up, we leave, pass the 20 people, he gestures at them and says, ‘Aren’t you in that meeting?’.

It’s fascinating and scary how all mental capacity just goes, poof.


Just take it one day at a time. You probably won't ever forget what happened, but it will get easier every day and you'll feel "normal" again soon. (It took me a while after my accident to stop slamming on a non-existent brake pedal on the floor of the passenger side of the car, (when someone else is driving), but I think everyone I know was glad when I stopped doing that. :lol:)

[AgrippinaX]

Just take it one day at a time. You probably won't ever forget what happened, but it will get easier every day and you'll feel "normal" again soon. (It took me a while after my accident to stop slamming on a non-existent brake pedal on the floor of the passenger side of the car, (when someone else is driving), but I think everyone I know was glad when I stopped doing that. :lol:)

Oof, that sounds like something I could totally do. For now I just flinch and try to operate in very loud AirPods 24/7 so that I didn’t flinch at every sound. But I’m definitely a little more with it. Went to the gym this morning.

[MovieMeditation]

Damn man, really sorry to hear. One should definitely not dust off a “mild” car crash or any other “lesser” dramatic or traumatic experience… it can hit hard in many more ways than just physically and/or in the moment.

I hope each day is better for you and I wish you the best. Us at MoFo are here to keep you company the best we can. All the best!

[AgrippinaX]

Damn man, really sorry to hear. One should definitely not dust off a “mild” car crash or any other “lesser” dramatic or traumatic experience… it can hit hard in many more ways than just physically and/or in the moment.

I hope each day is better for you and I wish you the best. Us at MoFo are here to keep you company the best we can. All the best!

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. :)

[honeykid]

That does…. Put things in perspective for me.

Fun fact: I haven’t told ANYONE in my family. Am I crazy?

I live alone.

I don't think so. But then, I am, so maybe not the best person to judge. :D Seriously though, it's taken years of therapy for me to even think that I might tell someone something like this or that they might want to know.

[AgrippinaX]

I don't think so. But then, I am, so maybe not the best person to judge. :D Seriously though, it's taken years of therapy for me to even think that I might tell someone something like this or that they might want to know.

Yeah, to everyone who brought that up, I called my therapist, will see her on Monday. But yeah, I don’t think I’ll tell anyone else. I always feel very weird irl when people express ‘concern’. I actually regret telling my boss, feel I’ve jeopardised my career and will now be perceived as ‘messed up’.

[cricket]

I'm just glad you were not hurt.

[honeykid]

I actually regret telling my boss, feel I’ve jeopardised my career and will now be perceived as ‘messed up’.
I think a lot of people (I mean in the UK as that's where I live) feel this way and it's a fear which, I feel, becomes greater the more 'professional' the job/career. I don't know how justified this feeling is, but given the culture of this country, I'd guess it, at least, used to be very much the case. I'd hope the last 5 or 10 years have moved the needle somewhat in the right direction.

[AgrippinaX]

I think a lot of people (I mean in the UK as that's where I live) feel this way and it's a fear which, I feel, becomes greater the more 'professional' the job/career. I don't know how justified this feeling is, but given the culture of this country, I'd guess it, at least, used to be very much the case. I'd hope the last 5 or 10 years have moved the needle somewhat in the right direction.

Indeed. I’m in London. But I also think, at this point, whatever. The whole thing was bad enough for me to worry about this.

[honeykid]

Just saw your post about having developed a cough, AgrippinaX and it reminded me about another aspect of my sisters accident. No idea if there's any connection though it seems likely, but after her accident she developed these weird little wavy red lines on her scalp. They weren't painful and she went to the docs and he had nothing to add, but her hair became very difficult to curl afterwards and wouldn't hold any shape for long. I think this was the case for years. Never knew what it was, but it happened very soon after the accident. This cough could just be a coincidence, maybe you already caught a cold before the accident? But it might be worth just keeping in mind that, if this doesn't go soon, this might be something you have for a while which isn't an issue other than it happens? Especially if you've always had respritory issue(s).

[AgrippinaX]

Just saw your post about having developed a cough, AgrippinaX and it reminded me about another aspect of my sisters accident. No idea if there's any connection though it seems likely, but after her accident she developed these weird little wavy red lines on her scalp. They weren't painful and she went to the docs and he had nothing to add, but her hair became very difficult to curl afterwards and wouldn't hold any shape for long. I think this was the case for years. Never knew what it was, but it happened very soon after the accident. This cough could just be a coincidence, maybe you already caught a cold before the accident? But it might be worth just keeping in mind that, if this doesn't go soon, this might be something you have for a while which isn't an issue other than it happens? Especially if you've always had respritory issue(s).

Thank you. My respiratory issues are a grim topic but it was basically a mechanical issue that got surgically rectified years ago (think appendix etc), not something like asthma. But I’m obv. still very psychologically sensitive to such stuff. Will probably see someone yet again just in case.

I may have had a cold before, who knows. The whole thing is getting blurrier in my mind and I’m now worried about insurance calling (they still haven’t, heh) because I can barely recall any useful specifics. My hair roots/scalp do tend to hurt when I’m stressed which, yeah, let’s just say that’s been the case for a good decade or longer. But I’ll keep an eye on that, too.

But yeah, other than that, I’m doing okay, thank you. Everyone seems to have left me alone and I’m sort of just recovering to music.