Post Jokes From All Over The World

[matt72582]

Old jokes, new jokes… Not only for the laughs, but I think you can learn a lot from humor, especially with a date to correspond with the events of the time.

I was just talking to a friend about jokes from all over, and he told me one that was excellent.


Here's an Iraqi joke from not too long ago:
Saddam Hussein goes on a hunting trip with his Vice-President Tariq Aziz and Secretary General Izzat al-Douri… Aziz takes his rifle, points to the sky, and shoots the bird, and down he goes. Al-Douri takes his rifle, points to the sky, shoots the bird, and down he goes.. Saddam takes his rifle, aims at a bird, and misses. He tries to shoot the same bird again, but misses again. Now the other guys are nervous. Saddam takes his third shot at the same bird, aims, but misses.

Tariq Aziz replies, "I can't believe that bird is still flying after being shot THREE times!"


Here's another modern joke, this time from Russia…
"A young soldier is asked: 'If you see twenty combat soldiers, what would you do?'"
"'I would take an AK47 and shoot them.' 'Good.' 'What if a tank was coming at you?' 'I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself,'" the general continues.
"'And what if you see planes, tanks and combat soldiers together?' He replies: 'General, am I the only one in this army?'"

[matt72582]

There was a Chinese comic in the 80s who moved to the US and had a great joke.

"Capitalism is the system where man exploits man. Communism is the opposite".

[EsmagaSapos]

"A monkey in the zoo"

Zoo visitors were curious about a monkey. Whenever someone threw peanuts at him, he took them, put them in his ass, and then ate them. They asked the keeper: So, why does the monkey, whenever someone throws peanuts at him, puts them in his ass before eating them? He replied: Don't you know? I will tell you. A week ago someone threw a plum at this monkey, he ate it all and then the lump wouldn't come out.

[matt72582]

Soviet era joke:

A Bolshevik has been standing in line for meat for several hours. Unfortunately, they run out just before his turn. Frustrated, the Bolshevik bitterly complains to the meat distributor. “Comrade, I fought in the wars, served my country, and this is my reward? I have been a loyal member of the Communist Party and I have nothing to show for it!”

The distributor puts his hand on the Bolshevik’s shoulder. “Comrade, you should count your blessings. See that guard over there? Last year, he would have shot you for speaking against the mother country in public like that.”

The Bolshevik returns to his home. His wife sees him empty-handed, and asks “What happened? Did they run out of meat?”

“It’s worse,” he replies. “They ran out of bullets!”