View Full Version : Holding Grudges
Hey, I don't know if it's just me, but it seems to me that there is a real grudge-fest out here in MoFo. I just seems that some people, taking offense at something one says or does, find themselves incapable of getting past it, and develop a grudge against one, which subsequently colors their opinion of everything one says or does. I don't know if the reason I encounter such an attitude has to do with my ethnicity or nationality, and considering the extremely hostile, xenophobic and outright racist atmosphere in the US of late (subsequent to 9/11 and the Iraq War)--so much so that it seems that some people think that they have the right to hold grudges and express hostility against some people purely because of their ethnic origins. I have had to contend with this atmosphere of hatred and bias ever since I joined the forum. People twist everything I say, ignoring the thousands of times I have been targeted with baseless hostility, blaming me for the hatred and antagonism that I have borne for no good reason. I've tried to be a voice of tolerance and good will, only to have to deal with downright malicious people who seem intent on demonizing and persecuting me endlessly for no good reason. All right, I admit that on some occasions, I might have inadvertently treaded on some toes, and I apologize for whatever errors I might have made. But is that any justification for a lynch-mob mentality, for singling me out for no good reason at the slightest pretext, for hounding me with hostile comments, for salaciously editing my posts and filling them with vile, disgusting, profane crap, for spreading salacious lies about me to defame and malign me, for making up absolutely ridiculous nonsense about me? Fact is, I've been getting along just fine with most people in here, except for the few hostile malcontents intent on hounding me out of here, it seems. On a couple of occasions, I did, in fact, leave, but returned, because I figured that the atmosphere in here had changed. However, after awhile, it just returns to the same old story--the lynch mob resurrects itself and starts screaming bloody murder. I'm just in here to contribute my 2 cent's worth of opinion about the movies and the issues. What I don't need is some whacko pretending to be "Dame Edna" posting freakish nonsense about me, and another self-admitted gay making ridiculous allegations about my own sexuality, etc., etc. It just gets to be a drag. Way back when, it was Yoda and Silver Bullet on my case for no good reason. Now, it's blibblobblib and Sexy Celebrity. Enough's enough. This crap isn't funny any more and has to stop.
Holding a grudge and holding someone accountable are two very different things. You can't really forgive someone who denies any wrongdoing, which is precisely what you've done.
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but these days you receive just as much criticism from those who share many of your political views as you do from those who do not. If the gripes were political, why do Monkeypunch, Pidzilla, and Golgot side against you? They're all very, very liberal.
I've got to wonder how many people have to join in on this supposed plot of hostility before you recognize that the problem is not with everyone else, but with you. I guess some people would rather believe in a grand, improbable conspiracy than acknowledge a personal shortcoming.
Django, i am truly sorry if you're receiving rascist treatment out in the real world.
In here, it's not your views that have ultimately caused everyone to get tired and just start slagging you off [tho of course, many disagree with you, but many others agree with some of your so-called toe-treading points i dare say]. The reason you receive so much abuse is almost entirely down to your way of going about things....
You refuse to accept when you're wrong or even possibly wrong, you start and perpetuate arguments over nothing, you are incredibly defensive (alright, you're under attack now, but you've brought it on yourself. Be big enough to ignore or laugh off the pointless stuff. And by laugh off i don't mean just taunting the other person childishly) Rationalise all you like, but this is the unfortunate situation. I'm sure you have many wonderful aspects. Why don't you try and let them win over your more aggravating ones? I argue with Yoda like you do, and he drives me up the wall sometimes, and i certainly don't agree with the majority of his beliefs (quite possibly near all of them ;)). Yet D, i prefer him to u these days. Can you get this thru your skull? Why do you think this is? It's coz at least he listens, conceedes points (to an extent ;)), and is aiming to alter his perception on some levels. You just come in with guns blazing, and if things don't go your way you reach for the ammo belt. Stop rationalising, and rationalising, and rationalising why you must be the good guy coz everyone else is just so damn bad. It's bull****.
On your other post, which i'm grudgingly acknowledging:
-if you don't pay attention, as you said, what's the point in replying/posting?
I refuse to say any more on the topic coz it seems to go nowhere. Until you examine yourself and realise that you are not as reasonable as you think you are, this will continue. Stop acting the martyr for ****'s sake.
If you make some valid points, i might respond (why should this be like bribing a kid with cookies? I'm being so patronising, but you bring these kinds of responses out in people D, and you seem to require it. Sort yourself out.)
I cannot beliiiiieeeeve i have spent so much time on this. Off to finally watch Battleship Potemkin....please please consider what i've said Djangini. It's for your own good mate.
If I have made mistakes, I have admitted to them. What you seem to want from me, Yoda, is to grovel before you in awe of your immense intellect :rolleyes:. I'm sorry, Yoda, but your comments do not hold much weight in my eyes--you are totally lacking in credibility, in my opinion, because you yourself NEVER admit to error. I've made my fair share of errors, and I admit to them. However, I don't feel obliged to take every trivial slip of my tongue seriously, as Yoda feels compelled to inflate every darn thing I say into a major issue! To expect this sort of perpetually defensive attitude from me--to hold me accountable for every trivial thing I might say--that is racism--the racism of double standards and bias. Sorry, Yoda, but you are and have been on several occasions, outright dishonest in your attitudes, pretending to be objective when you have been blatantly biased and hostile for no reason.
Golgot, I appreciate your point of view, but I wonder, how much of it has been subtly influenced by the general attitude of bigotry and intolerance that has, I am sorry to say, been prevalent in here for far too long, and even encouraged by Yoda's shabby forum mismanagement. It never is my intention to start a fight. If, for example, you check my threads in the other sections of the forum, you'll see that, for the most part, I have engaged in many, many civil discussions with forum members. It's just a few grudge-holding malcontents who seem to think they have the right to take issue at everything I say and make a major issue over my every word. Add to that the screwy tactics of Silver Bullet and Sexy Celebrity--namely, editing my posts with profane garbage and perpetuating salacious lies, rumors and gossip about me--and that accounts for the majority of the hostility I have encountered in here. If I were to resort to similar twisted tactics myself, I'm sure that I could fend off, to a substantial degree, the hostility targeted against me in here. However, the fact is that: a) I don't take this movie forum seriously enough to go that far; b) I don't believe in the sort of underhanded tactics resorted to by SB and SC, and c) I have more important things to do with my time. So I come on in here trying to talk straight and get along. Unfortunately, however, the spin-doctors and character assassins refuse to let me alone, picking a fight with me whenever the opportunity presents itself. That's how I see it, at least. Please correct me if I'm mistaken.
Yes yes, Yoda is theo-logical, and so liable to twist and turn using a version of rationality/"logic"-alone-argument that i have practical doubts about [but, as he points out, we all have our inner-beliefs that we can't help but rationalise around - tho i'd argue that some people can end up with more flexible core beliefs/mind-sets than others, but here comes a bigger...]....BUT....he can also help those that argue with him, and himself, get closer to possible "truths" within an issue. You never seem to even approach this. I understand your apparent acceptance of contradiction/alternate "spiritual" views etc and other forms of thought, but you need to balance yourself up a bit [or possibly a lot!]. Believe it or not, you could do with a bit of the yoda within you [as much as he might even benefit from a smidgen of you too ;)]
SB probably shouldn't have edited your posts - i didn't see that bit. But i dare say you drove him to distraction first . It's about the only valid gripe you have [ok, gripe is a word i've probably been [I]influenced by Yoda into using, but not coz he uses it soley against you, just coz he uses it a lot ;)]
Django, you need to check the word rascism in your dictionary i think. Stop with the bombast. It's bull****. You are so ironically guilty of everything you accuse others of (except the post manipulation - but let it go. People will judge you on your current actions as much as past representations, so please please please stop with the helpless-pariah nonsense)
You obviously do care about MoFo and your standing within it otherwise you wouldn't waste so much time in defensive blather [oops, there i go again, Yodelling]
D, it's not up to me to point anything more out to you, it's up to you to recognise your own failings. Who cares if others have them too, to differing extents? You should care about your own internal world and your corresponding actions. You know to disagree is natural, so why make out that, oh i can't be bothered. Yes, django, whatever you say. Yes. I need to sleep.
Gg -not wanting to "attack" you but finding no other choice- Djang, as my dear old ma loves to say "you are in the wrong" [god i hate that phrase. Like "the wrong" was a country or something. But D, regardless of race, age, sex or anything else, you have slipped into that teeming land called "wrong" ;). Soz mate. Hard knocks]
I admit that I have my failings, as do the other forum members. The difference is that whereas other forum members are not held accountable for their failings, I am relentlessly called upon to account for every single human failing I might display in here. If that isn't bias and racism, I'd like to know what is. I'm sorry, but the treatment I have received in here in the past goes beyond mere personally merited antagonism. If it were no more than that, believe me, I would not have made an issue of it. It has gone way beyond the point of a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED campaign of antagonism and persecution, solely, I would argue, based on ethnic considerations. The post modification bit is only the tip of the iceberg. I can't prove all the subtle motivations and hidden biases in here, but I have sensed them all too often. YES, there IS a VERY DISCERNIBLE trend towards bias and racism in here--the more so, because whenever I try to raise this issue, it gets marginalized and discarded. I can personally perceive this, from an objective, level-headed standpoint. I have been repeatedly targetted for hostility for NO GOOD REASON. I have taken MORE than my fair share of antagonism from people who seem to have nothing better to do than to antagonize me. Point is--this has crossed the threshold of something I can just turn my back on and ignore. It's gone beyond the limits of decency and propriety and verges on turning into a really ugly, sick scenario. I can't account for the sickness in other people's minds, but I can say that enough is enough. I've just about had it with having to deal with mudslinging, hateful, sadistic sickos.
Where is the "ethnic" basis for the discriminsation? i know you previously got stick for making "anti-american" (i.e. anti-war/bush) statements from some over-patriots and rascists who felt offended coz you weren't a born-and-bred yank (not that that helps for some of those people, coz some of them believe American = WASP). I'm a white skinned mongrel, brought up in england, so my predominant perspectives and expectations might align/differ from those of your mother-land, which might account for some confusion. But i'm not convinced, even tho my experiences of cultural varience suggest that this is very possible
(where are you from originally btw? I try and scrupulously remove every lurking bit of rascism in my head, so don't be afraid of any sort of reaction of that sort. It's not easy - some stuff is programmed in, even tho i come from a very multi-cultural/racial, integrated city [well, it's getting better, on the whole, as far as opportunity and acceptance of difference goes - tho if a i hear a fundamentalist this-that-or-the-other saying britain should be only-this-that-or-the-other i get angry - but those are exceptional cases] Whoops, digression.
Listen, i hav to go. But i can't see any foundation for your claim in all the hundreds of exchanges i've read. I think you are certainly creating a conspiracy (there is no intent to discriminate against you racially amongst the vast majority, especially the regular posters.)
The problems people have are with how you go about things. Accept it.
Golgot, no, I'm not accusing you of anything. Our exchanges have been extremely civil, amicable and fair. I'm referring to a trend I have sensed in MoFo in general. I think your comments above have been extremely insightful in addressing at least part of the issue of what I have been facing, but there is more to it than that--I just wish I could put my finger on it. As for my ethnic origins, I am originally from Bombay, India, currently residing in San Francisco, CA. Ethnically, I am East Indian.
Sexy Celebrity
08-05-03, 11:50 PM
I am originally from Bombay, India.
Go back!
Golgot, no, I'm not accusing you of anything. Our exchanges have been extremely civil, amicable and fair. I'm referring to a trend I have sensed in MoFo in general. I think your comments above have been extremely insightful in addressing at least part of the issue of what I have been facing, but there is more to it than that--I just wish I could put my finger on it. As for my ethnic origins, I am originally from Bombay, India, currently residing in San Francisco, CA. Ethnically, I am East Indian.
I have never read any racist slurs about you, where , when did this happen, this is the first time I have heard that you are from India, so what!
We are all the same here I don't even know if some people are male or female, it isn't important.
You are not the only person who has been edited, no big deal I took it, end of story. :rolleyes:
Monkeypunch
08-06-03, 01:22 AM
I don't know if the reason I encounter such an attitude has to do with my ethnicity or nationality, and considering the extremely hostile, xenophobic and outright racist atmosphere in the US of late (subsequent to 9/11 and the Iraq War)--so much so that it seems that some people think that they have the right to hold grudges and express hostility against some people purely because of their ethnic origins. I have had to contend with this atmosphere of hatred and bias ever since I joined the forum.
Homer Simpson: "Play the Race Card!...PLAYYYY IIIIT!"
Nobody is against you cause you're indian or whatever, hell, my room-mate and my favorite teacher in High school were BOTH from India! They're against you because you attack people when they don't agree with you and make an all around ass of yourself. What you give is what you get, D. Next, post a topic where you say people hate you because you're so much smarter than the rest of us, cause I could use a good laugh!
Heheheh. Django, i think you might want to offer your head to science for its denseness properties. Or perhaps it's your eyes that you need to donate to studies-into-blindness. I'm so frustrated with your inability to see that the problem resides with you not with others i'm going to turn american now: Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh
The "ethnic" slant was my last attempt to dig up a reason for why you don't get this. I've given up completely now. And re-thinking about my experiences in other countries, with other nationalities, and with other languages i've remembered something: unreasonableness is the same wherever you go.
Please try reading what people write rather than acting like an affronted trilobite. You have no reasons for complaint (and i'm going to ignore the ridiculous reasons that you are now going to re-post)
r3port3r66
08-06-03, 10:00 PM
AGAIN DJANGO, I must emphasize, and ask, why did you return again after leaving the last time, saying that the age ratio around here was far too young for you. And you did not, did not want to participate in any kind of debate with the likes of minors? Remember? Why, after having said that did you return?
I returned because MoFo is in my blood and I can't break free! :eek: Do you have any suggestions on how one can break the habit?
r3port3r66
08-06-03, 10:18 PM
Alas, no. But I do know what you mean about it being in your blood.
Then we're in the same boat, my friend!
blibblobblib
08-06-03, 11:03 PM
What I don't need is some whacko pretending to be "Dame Edna" posting freakish nonsense about me
Im pretty sure you mean that this "Dame Edna Whacko" has been posting "truthful exmaples demonstrating how you attack other members of the board and are constantly reminded to grow up becuase of this"
The reason you chose to come back is becuase you Enjoy the reception you get around here. You Enjoy coming back and attacking peoples posts and throwing your ridiculous comments around. But after doing this for about a week, people end up making you look stupid and you have no way of defending yourself so you leave again for another 2 weeks or start up another post about how tormented and badly treated you are. Its the same pattern all over again. You chose not to respond to my post on my Superhero thread because you know its the truth. So here comes the new post about how misunderstood and unfairly treated you are...
BUT everyone deserves a second chance.....fair enough your on probably something like your 8th chance but.... if you are being treated so badly and you want it all to end, why dont you do something about it other than whining? Stop making posts about everyones gripes with you and do something about what all these "Attackers" are accusing you of. Theres obviosuly no way your ever gonna leave this forum so why dont YOU make it nicer for yourself to be here? PROVE TO US that there is a person in Django that can have more than one civil conversation with more than one board member. Me, SC, SB and Yoda arent evil posters who like to attack and annoy people. Do we treat any other memebers the same way we treat you? NO. Because the way you act and post on this board provokes us to defend ourselves against your immature comments. SO lets see if there's gonna be a change. Ill have not one bad thing to say about you if there is. Heres a few small tips on how to do it...
1. Dont post on a thread with a topic that you are in no way interested in and dont continue to post on that thread when poeple have asked you nicely to stop. This is what is known as "Attacking"
2. When you disagree with someone try debating it and coming up with strong arguments rather than putting smilies on the post along with a degrading comment/insult then dissapearing with a "Thankyou! Goodbye!"
3. Try posting on the movie threads with some insights into your own thoughts and ideas about movies....thats what the board is for.
4. Dont start up controversial threads with a soul purpose of looking for an argument...becuase as you will have seen by now, poeple will argue back, and you normally lose.
5. Try and be a little more accepting of other poeples ideas. It is possible for other people to like things that you do not.
and finally 6. Dont talk about yourself so much. there are a lot more interesting things around if you have a look.
Sorry if this is all a bit too patronising (Hopefully you know the true meaning of that word now from your use of it on the Order of the Phoenix Post ) but it is the only way i know how to speak to you. I have never seen any evidence telling me otherwise.....but maybe now i will? lets seeeeeeeeeeee........ :suspicious:
Sir Toose
08-07-03, 03:53 PM
http://www.lancutdistillery.polishvodka.com.pl/mus-violin.gif
*cracking knuckles*
I'm going to play for you django.
Toose, I'm listening.
Blibblobblib, I don't even care what you have to say--I'm not even paying attention!
Too busy being the passionate Latin lover! ;D
Sir Toose
08-07-03, 05:06 PM
Toose, I'm listening.
Blibblobblib, I don't even care what you have to say--I'm not even paying attention!
Too busy being the passionate Latin lover! ;D
hey... is Valentino latin?
I guess maybe he... are italians latin?
hey... is Valentino latin?
I guess maybe he... are italians latin?
Well, if by "latin" you mean Hispanic, no, Valentino is not Hispanic.
But he is the original "latin lover." Ask anyone.
Piddzilla
08-07-03, 05:16 PM
hey... is Valentino latin?
I guess maybe he... are italians latin?
Is the pope catholic? He is also polish. But kind of latin. Isn't he? I don't know about the violin though... I know that Bono once met the Pope so there must be some kind of musical connection, I guess. Does The Edge **** in the woods?
Sir Toose
08-07-03, 05:19 PM
I think Valentino was Italian...hence the question regarding him being Latin.
I do think Italians are referred to as Latin, though.
did yallz NOT get the violin reference?
Dig deep within yourselves...
Piddzilla
08-07-03, 05:22 PM
I think Valentino was Italian...hence the question regarding him being Latin.
I do think Italians are referred to as Latin, though.
did yallz NOT get the violin reference?
Dig deep within yourselves...
I dig, Daddy O
I think Valentino was Italian...hence the question regarding him being Latin.
I do think Italians are referred to as Latin, though.
did yallz NOT get the violin reference?
Dig deep within yourselves...
Well, there are any number of big-screen "Latin Lovers" who happen to be Italian, case in point, Valentino.
Missed the violin reference, though.
Caitlyn
08-07-03, 08:23 PM
I think Valentino was Italian...hence the question regarding him being Latin.
I do think Italians are referred to as Latin, though.
did yallz NOT get the violin reference?
Dig deep within yourselves...
There is a whole orchestra of violins playing on the Superhero thread… want to join in… ;D
blibblobblib
08-07-03, 09:32 PM
Toose, I'm listening.
Blibblobblib, I don't even care what you have to say--I'm not even paying attention!
Too busy being the passionate Latin lover! ;D
Why it would seem that it is not us that holdeth the Grudge...but it is YOU. How ironic...also hypocritical and predictable but lest not go there ;)
Why it would seem that it is not us that holdeth the Grudge...but it is YOU. How ironic...also hypocritical and predictable but lest not go there ;)
Oh, sure, blame it all on me. That seems to be the standard practice in here! Talk about lacking in originality!
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