Some Guy Just Walked in My House.

[Captain Steel]

I know this is a stupid place to post this... but some guy just walked in my house!

I just got home and had left the side door open (it was even cracked open a bit) because I was getting ready to take the recycling out.

Decided to look at MoFo on the computer for a bit first then, all of a sudden some guy is coming through my kitchen and talking to me. Except he's calling me "Rich" (my middle name happens to be Richard, but no one calls me that).

I start yelling "Who is it?" That's when I realized I didn't know who this person was as they kept moving toward the room where my computer is. I don't know anyone (not even my brother) who would walk right in and not knock first.

I started yelling in my best cop voice, "Who are you? Identify!" I also realized I had no weapons at hand as I could now see the guy's silhouette outside the doorway. My hands were clenched into fists as I stood up.

The guy said he was looking for "Richie" and that Richie lived in a little white house like mine and that Richie had told him he'd leave the door cracked open. The only thing that seemed suspicious is that he didn't know exactly where Richie lived, or his house number, but decided to just walk right in because the door was cracked. He did say he came from the bar out on the main road. Never move near a bar, it's been nothing but trouble.

I got the impression the guy got just as scared as I was when he realized he was in the wrong house and I (although out of shape, am quite massive) was approaching him with my fists clenched and yelling at him to identify himself.

My heart's still pounding.

[TONGO]

Damn thats screwed up Dude! Lock your doors man! :eek:

[Sexy Celebrity]

Umm... cool story, bro.

[foster]

http://i.imgur.com/2JvHaP6.png

[Sexy Celebrity]

This should be thread of the year. Something about making an entire thread devoted to a guy popping in the wrong house is kinda funny. I'm sure I've made worse threads, though.

[CiCi]

Put it on Reddit Let's Not Meet! That's horrifying! :eek:

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://i.imgur.com/2JvHaP6.png
He seriously might have been looking for a guy he met on the internet to have a little fun with.

Was he cute?

[Captain Steel]

And this is all coming to you LIVE! I literally started writing this 2 minutes after the guy left (and I did lock the door behind him).

Get this... on the way out he asked me if I wanted him to leave the door cracked open! (Oh yeah! It's open house night! I want more complete strangers just walking in.)

I considered calling the cops, but it seemed like an honest mistake (like somebody he knew or met at the bar told him his house was down the street and to just come in when he got there). Although I don't know of any other tiny white houses on my block.

I saw something like this recently on TV where guys came home to find some drunk dude had wandered into their house and was sleeping in their bed... and they filmed the confrontation on their cell phone.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He might have freaked out when he saw that you were big and out of shape.

He probably thought... You damn liar. That wasn't really you in the picture!

[gbgoodies]

That's terrifying. :eek:

I'm glad that you're okay. Just the thought of what could have happened is scary. You're lucky he wasn't a killer.

[Citizen Rules]

Damn scary!... He was there to rob your house but gave up the idea because you were home. A common MO is for the intruder to make up an excuse if caught by the home owner. Usually they knock on the door with a lame excuse if someone answers and only break in if no one answers.

If you don't like or believe in guns get some pepper spray, the fogger type in a big can...the stuff you use on grizzly bears. It will stop an attacker cold, I should know I tested my can out by spraying up in the air and a little amount got in my eyes. My eyes burnt like hell, I could not open them and had to crawl into the house. A couple hours latter and I was fine. Seriously Captain be careful, you can buy good Pepper spray on ebay, it's legal in all 50 states.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And this is all coming to you LIVE! I literally started writing this 2 minutes after the guy left (and I did lock the door behind him).

Get this... on the way out he asked me if I wanted him to leave the door cracked open! (Oh yeah! It's open house night! I want more complete strangers just walking in.)

I considered calling the cops, but it seemed like an honest mistake (like somebody he knew or met at the bar told him his house was down the street and to just come in when he got there). Although I don't know of any other tiny white houses on my block.

I saw something like this recently on TV where guys came home to find some drunk dude had wandered into their house and was sleeping in their bed... and they filmed the confrontation on their cell phone.

At least you considered calling the cops. But seriously -- two minutes after this happens, you decide to write all this down and make a thread about it? On Movie Forums? Geez, there are people worse than me.

[Captain Steel]

He seriously might have been looking for a guy he met on the internet to have a little fun with.

Was he cute?

First, thanks for the jokes - they're helping calm me down.

He was clean cut. Early middle aged. I was slightly relieved when I saw he was on the short side (although that means nothing if the guy had a knife or a gun).

But yeah, I was thinking - maybe he made a hook up at the bar and was coming to find his man-date? After all, most people know where their friends live or at least get the address before coming over.

The whole thing now is starting to seem like one of those To Catch a Predator episodes where the guy just walks into the kitchen calling out for the person he thinks he's supposed to meet. That kinda makes me a much angrier, much fatter Chris Hansen coming out of the back room in a total fight or flight response (and I didn't have anywhere to flight to, so I was ready to fight.)

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's terrifying. :eek:

I'm glad that you're okay. Just the thought of what could have happened is scary. You're lucky he wasn't a killer.

That strange guy's lucky he didn't arrive at another wrong house -- yours.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Damn scary!... He was there to rob your house but gave up the idea because you were home. A common MO is for the intruder to make up an excuse if caught by the home owner. Usually they knock on the door with a lame excuse if someone answers and only break in if no one answers.

If you don't like or believe in guns get some pepper spray, the fogger type in a big can...the stuff you use on grizzly bears. It will stop an attacker cold, I should know I tested my can out by spraying up in the air and the a little amount got in my eyes. My eyes burnt like hell, I could not open them and had to crawl into the house. A couple hours latter and I was fine. Seriously Captain you can buy good Pepper spray on ebay, it's legal in all 50 states.

Captain Steel, I bet you'll be voting for Donald Trump now.

[Captain Steel]

Damn scary!... He was there to rob your house but gave up the idea because you were home. A common MO is to make up an excuse if the robbery is caught by the home owner. Usually they knock on the door with a lame excuse and only break in if no one answers.

If you don't like or believe in guns get some pepper spray, the fogger type in a big can...the stuff you use on grizzly bears. It will stop an attacker cold, I should know I tested my can out by spraying up in the air and the a little amount got in my eyes. My eyes burnt like hell, I could not open them and had to crawl into the house. A couple hours latter and I was fine. Seriously Captain you can buy good Pepper spray on ebay, it's legal in all 50 states.

That totally crossed my mind, Rules. Except, my car was in the driveway, I'd just turned some lights on,, and the door was open - why would someone wanting to rob a house walk into one where it looked like the occupant was home? (Unless they weren't expecting a fat angry man to be there, but if you didn't know who lived there, why take the chance and risk an armed homeowner?)

[Sexy Celebrity]

I just got a text from my friend, Fred. He's sorry he scared you. He finally found Richie. He says if you calm down, you can join them. Want the address? It's close by.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, now he's inviting me, too.

[Camo]

Yeah, that is seriously scary. Don't think i'd even risk giving him the chance to explain i would have probably have just attacked him out of fear. Damn, glad you're ok.

Not the same at all obviously but it reminded me of when i was about 14 i was staying with a friend, he was in a single bed and i was in like a foldout bed or whatever you call it next to his bed and we both woke up with a random scruffy guy with long hair sleeping in between us :rotfl:. Turned out he was his brothers friend and drunkenly walked into my friends room instead of a different one he was sent to, no idea how we didn't wake up.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He loves your wallpaper.

[Citizen Rules]

How old was this guy would you say? Did he seem drunk? Was he wearing a hoodie;)

[Sexy Celebrity]

Was he wearing a hoodie;)

He would have already told us if he was a black guy.

[Camo]

I thought of this too for some reason, no idea why because it's not even related.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSEyWqYFi_U

[Citizen Rules]

I'm betting he was a white guy on drugs.

[Captain Steel]

At least you considered calling the cops. But seriously -- two minutes after this happens, you decide to write all this down and make a thread about it? On Movie Forums? Geez, there are people worse than me.

Well, MoFo was already up on the screen - and I don't do any other social media (and I've been banned from the eBay discussion boards!)

So, it was like I had to tell somebody. I'm really kicking myself now - I didn't even watch where the guy went - I just shut and lock the door. It's true how you get tunnel vision in shocking circumstances and forget to do the common sense thing - instead of turning all my outdoor lights on and watching the guy, I start chatting with Sexy Celebrity!

[gbgoodies]

That strange guy's lucky he didn't arrive at another wrong house -- yours.


He wouldn't have gotten in my house. I always lock my doors, and I have two double-locked doors that he would have to get through to get inside. Plus an alarm, and a nosy downstairs neighbor.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least he didn't walk in dribbling a basketball. I know how much you hate those.

[Captain Steel]

I'm betting he was a white guy on drugs.

White guy, short grey or white hair slicked back. He didn't seem drunk or high to me (although he said he'd come from the bar), but he did enter very casually calling out a name. He seemed fairly articulate (even shook my hand and told me his full name - which for the life of me now I can't remember.)

[Sexy Celebrity]

(and I've been banned from the eBay discussion boards!)

Well, of course -- eBay doesn't have time to hear about you freaking out every time you think the mailman coming at your door is a mass murderer.

So, it was like I had to tell somebody. I'm really kicking myself now - I didn't even watch where the guy went - I just shut and lock the door. It's true how you get tunnel vision in shocking circumstances and forget to do the common sense thing - instead of turning all my outdoor lights on and watching the guy, I start chatting with Sexy Celebrity!

I make guys stupid.

[Sexy Celebrity]

White guy, short grey or white hair slicked back. He didn't seem drunk or high to me (although he said he'd come from the bar), but he did enter very casually calling out a name. He seemed fairly articulate (even shook my hand and told me his full name - which for the life of me now I can't remember.)

Never shake hands with a stranger who just walked into your house........

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did he have nice hands?

[Sexy Celebrity]

This isn't an April Fool's Day joke in any way, is it?

[Sexy Celebrity]

You might want to call the police and report what just happened, anyway. Just to be on the safe side. It might even help you sleep better tonight.

[Swan]

He must have ran for it when he found out you're Superman.

[Sexy Celebrity]

No big deal. Swan's probably walked into many strange houses before, thinking they were UFOs that were gonna take him to outer space to meet Elvis and John Lennon.

[gbgoodies]

This isn't an April Fool's Day joke in any way, is it?


I doubt it. It's still March 31st in Capt Steel's area.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Maybe this is the beginning of an April Fool's Day joke put on by Captain Steel..... maybe he's gonna disappear from the forum now and we're all gonna think the house intruder came back AND GOT HIM.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This thread is so silly you could April Fool's Day trick people into thinking it's a Sexy Celebrity thread when it's really not.

[Citizen Rules]

White guy, short grey or white hair slicked back. He didn't seem drunk or high to me (although he said he'd come from the bar), but he did enter very casually calling out a name. He seemed fairly articulate (even shook my hand and told me his full name - which for the life of me now I can't remember.)OK I change my mind, that doesn't sound like the actions of a criminal. We need Gunslinger in here to give advice.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It sounds like someone just trying to hang out with someone he met back at that bar. Doesn't even sound like a gay love affair kind of thing anymore. Gotta be straight guys. Straight guys don't actually tell other straight guys what their home address is. "Just find the little white house. That's mine."

[Sexy Celebrity]

They were probably gonna smoke pot together or something.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This thread needs to seriously set off a chain of other "Some Guy Just...." threads.

Some Guy Just Ordered Me a Beer.
Some Guy Just Gave Me the Finger.
Some Guy Just Laughed at Something I Said.
Some Guy Just Asked Me for the Time.
Some Guy Just Called and It Was a Wrong Number.
Some Guy Just Said I Look Like Jim Carrey.
Some Guy Just Found Me Unconscious.
Some Guy Just Farted Right in Front of Me.

And then, of course, there can also be a Some Woman Just series (or "Some Gal", "Some Chick", whatever) featuring women. And something for transgender people, but I don't know what the correct word would be (what is it, Iroquois?)

[Captain Steel]

Okay, I called the police.
Had to explain why I waited so long to call - I told them it didn't seem like a big deal right after it happened until I started thinking about it - like maybe he had meant to go to my neighbor's who is a single female or something of that sort.
(I didn't tell them that it was due to all the potential implications you MoFo'ers brought up.) ;)

Anyway, they found the guy a few houses down and it seems he'd walked into the wrong house. (But still, like I said to the cop - if you'd never been there before and didn't know the address, who would just walk in?) But anyway, they confirmed he wasn't a burglar or anything.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Really? They already found the guy?

[Captain Steel]

Really? They already found the guy?

Yep - two houses down... at Richie's house... and it is white.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Nothing to worry about anymore, then. You're free to relax. Lock your doors.

[Captain Steel]

He would have already told us if he was a black guy.

I just realized... that's...
RACIST!

http://source.superherostuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Fish-Mooney-2.jpg

[Captain Steel]

Captain Steel, I bet you'll be voting for Donald Trump now.

I'm voting for whoever is running against Hillary!

I don't like Trump, but as Captain Jack Aubrey said, "You must always choose the lesser of two weevils."

[Sexy Celebrity]

Just think of all the great nightmares you're gonna have now, though.

A man bursting into your place, he calls out a name and everything is in black and white and slow motion. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

You slowly stand up..... you feel the urge to run, but you can't...... meanwhile, the sound of loud BASKETBALLS dribbling and bangin' around somewhere are heard, very loud and also in slow motion. They get louder and louder as the strange home intruder, who's dressed all in black and holding a knife, comes closer and closer to you.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiicccccccccccchhhhhiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee............"

Your computer goes haywire. You slowly try to type in a post and make this thread on Movie Forums, but the keys on the keyboard will barely punch in. Some of them even break off. Some make your fingers sink into them, like that quicksand staircase in A Nightmare on Elm Street, but now it's a computer keyboard.

As the man gets closer and closer.... as you reach for the phone, but in the dream, you tell yourself that you don't have a phone, which is ridiculous 'cause in real life you do, but it's a dream and it makes total sense that you don't in the dream. So now you can't call the police. And the man is getting closer..... and closer..... and closer............

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee..... is this your white house, Ritchie? Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiicccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee..............."

[Omnizoa]

and I've been banned from the eBay discussion boards!
And you're telling us THIS? Give use the real story!

He seemed fairly articulate (even shook my hand
Getting in arms reach was a bad idea. What if he was a judo master? Or had a pointed stick?

as you reach for the phone, but in the dream, you tell yourself that you don't have a phone, which is ridiculous 'cause in real life you do, but it's a dream and it makes total sense that you don't in the dream. So now you can't call the police.
I'VE HAD THAT DREAM! Only the name was "Gideon".

[foster]

Random strangers never visit my house :(

[AboveTheClouds]

+1000 for you SC, that killed me.

I once caught two guys coming into my backyard through the back gate, this was like 2PM. They didn't see me, so I grabbed my aluminum bat and walked out onto the back deck, which is basically right over top of where these dudes had entered from. I looked down at them from the stairs with the bat cocked for action and they both freeze and look at me and the conversation went something like this

Me "WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING BACK HERE?"

Guy 1 "We..we just came to pick the cans and junk out of the bin back here, the owners told us that we're free to take what we want"

Guy 2 "Yeah we've been coming here for years"

Me "I've lived here for 7 years and never once seen either of you greasy fvcks around here, nor have I ever given permission to either of you to enter my property. Kindly get the **** out before I'll have to do something that you'll regret"

*At this point they kind of look at each other weighing their options. Yes there are two of them, but I'm a big strong dude who just came flying out of the house with boots on and a bat. And I am ready to mash these two, and just itching for a reason, and I think they can tell*

Guy 2 "I think we have the wrong house."

Guy 1 "Have a nice afternoon sir"

Me "You too, don't ever let me catch you snooping around my block again, or else. Have a pleasant day.

I get sooo mad when this **** happens. I once had an ex's best friend break into my house, she cut my screen and stole things roughly amounting to $250. I saw her at the mall one day, and she was carrying a few bags so I walked up and snatched them from her and just walked away. She kind of looked at me dumbfounded, but she wouldn't do anything. I ended up giving most of it away to girls I knew, a bit strange but hey.

But really, don't do this kind of ****, people have cell phones for a reason, I would have called "Richie" and been like "Hey bud I'm in the area but don't know exactly where you live, can you stand on your doorstep and wave me in?" Glad you were on the ball though captain and he was really just bad at boundaries.

[Omnizoa]

I've lived here for 7 years and never once seen either of you greasy fvcks around here,
Nice.

For the record though, it's probably best if you just anchor your trash containers down and let scavengers be. They can help recycle and raccoons tend not to respond too well to verbal threats.

[mojofilter]

Captain Steel, be honest...you wish that intruder was a hot chick instead

[Captain Steel]

Captain Steel, be honest...you wish that intruder was a hot chick instead

Yeah, but that only happens in porn movies.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Captain Steel, be honest...you wish that intruder was a hot chick instead

Please. If he's big and out of shape, he wishes it was a pizza delivery man.

[Captain Steel]

Please. If he's big and out of shape, he wishes it was a pizza delivery man.

That also only happens in porn movies - except the delivery man shows up and interrupts two women having a private pool party.

[Gatsby]

Please. If he's big and out of shape, he wishes it was a pizza delivery man.
In porn pizza delivery men usually have their thing hidden inside the box.

[AboveTheClouds]

Nice.

For the record though, it's probably best if you just anchor your trash containers down and let scavengers be. They can help recycle and raccoons tend not to respond too well to verbal threats.

They would have looked like Raccoons when I was done with 'em ;)

[Hit Girl]

I don't tend to get bothered by 'visitors' since I installed one of these in the house.

http://www.hobbymap.de/assets/maps/judith-hoederath/thumb_500x375_2731_hobby-hunde-dobermann-img-6695.jpg

:)

[Tacitus]

That used to happen to us fairly often (once or twice a year) when I was growing up but as it was one of our neighbours we didn't complain.

A little old retired farmer called Barney lived across the road and Barney liked a drink. If the stars were in perfect alignment, someone would be coming home just as Barney was staggering back from one of the village bars and he'd ... just ... follow the car up to our house instead of the few yards further down the road to his own place. If we hadn't locked the door, he'd come in.

And stand there, silent. In the kitchen. Looking at us.

It was then down to someone, usually me once I'd got old enough, to take him by the arm and escort him back to his own house. Poor wee Barney. :)

[TheUsualSuspect]

When my wife lived on her own in Guelph for university, she lived in the basement of a rental house. Her roommate had left the front door unlocked and in the middle of the night some guy walked right in, walked downstairs and into her bedroom. She was awake and didn't know what to do, he then realized he was in the wrong house and proceeded to leave. Now she triple checks the doors.

[Omnizoa]

And stand there, silent. In the kitchen. Looking at us.
O_o

in the middle of the night some guy walked right in[X], walked downstairs[X] and into her bedroom[X]. She was awake and didn't know what to do, he then realized he was in the wrong house and proceeded to leave.
[X] = Moment of realization when you should GTFO.

[Yoda]

You know, if this is an April Fool's joke, I have to say, I'm kind of impressed by how plausible and restrained it is. Way more likely to be believed.

[Mr Minio]

Too bad it wasn't a hot Asian chick.

[Captain Steel]

You know, if this is an April Fool's joke, I have to say, I'm kind of impressed by how plausible and restrained it is. Way more likely to be believed.

No joke, Yoda. If I wanted to pull a prank, I'd have come up with something much more entertaining. Plus, if it was a joke, what's the punchline? It's just a random event that had a pretty boring outcome (which I'm glad of).

[Yoda]

The punchline of any good April Fool's joke is the mere pleasure of getting to tell people you tricked them, of course. :D

[Captain Steel]

The punchline of any good April Fool's joke is the mere pleasure of getting to tell people you tricked them, of course. :D

Understood, but telling a story of a personal event that ends up with no major implications and which cannot be proved on a discussion forum seems a rather meager joke to try to get people to believe. What would be the point?

If I simply wanted attention, as said before, I would've come up with something much more exciting.

Plus, it happened on April Fool's Eve rather than day.:)

[Omnizoa]

Plus, it happened on April Fool's Eve rather than day.:)
This is where you tell us he left his underwear.

[Captain Steel]

Well, another true story, but this happened many years ago... I had a pick-up truck and I was getting in it to go to work. As I got in, out of the corner of my eye I saw a boot in the bed of the truck. The only thing I could think at that moment was that maybe it was my roommate (at that time) playing some sort of joke. So I looked into the bed and there was a homeless man (and yes, he was black) sleeping in my truck. I woke him up and politely asked him to vacate. He said he was travelin' and had no where else to sleep. (We lived right off a highway).

I could only imagine if I hadn't seen his boot, and started driving down the highway and he sat up - I would've seen this man in my rear view mirror right behind me - that could have been terrifying.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Shame on you, Captain Steel, for making him get out of bed. Don't you know that all black homeless men should get at least 8 hours of sleep?! Some Superman you are......

[Captain Steel]

Shame on you, Captain Steel, for making him get out of bed. Don't you know that all black homeless men should get at least 8 hours of sleep?! Some Superman you are......

Heh! I would have gladly let him sleep, except I had to get to work.

We used to get a lot of strange visitors at that house - we named this one guy because he came and knocked on the door, and through the closed door we asked who it was and replied "Guy from the street." (not kidding!)

Someone had left their car lights on and "Guy From the Street" was nice enough to stop and let us know.

I have to add that Guy-From-the-Street stopped there twice over the course of a few years to alert us that someone had left their car lights on - but both times, when asked who was there, he identified himself as "Guy from the Street"! :D

Guy-From-the-Street took on mythical proportions as we imagined him some angelic street-wanderer who walked around doing good deeds.

[Omnizoa]

(and yes, he was black)
( o_o)

[Guaporense]

I showed up in wrong houses many times.

Once I went for a barbecue in a friend's house and I got at the door of a house and I asked is this Luis house? He said it was but when I got inside it was the wrong Luis.