Best way to make friends in a new town?

[90sAce]

What's your opinion on this? Assuming you don't know anyone in the new town (ex. from HS, college, work, etc) - which is where I think that most people get their circle of friends from.

Ideas that come to mind are joining a club or activity (ex. martial arts, volunteering, etc) or visiting a church. I have been able to make a few guy friends just hanging out at bars, though we never got past beyond just being drinking buddies. Any ideas?

[foster]

Definitely some sort of club.
I've met literally hundreds of people going to bars playing beer pong.

Whatever your game is .. darts, pool, something like that is an easy way to integrate into an existing social circle. Or even something more active like kickball or dodgeball.

[Camo]

Join a cult :cage: .

[Godoggo]

Yeah, you can go out drinking with your friends but I think trying to make friends while drinking isn't always the easiest thing to do. It's easy to get stuck in that perpetual drinking buddy stage.

Definitely getting involved in something is going to put you out there and among people you share common interests with. Don't be afraid to let people know that you're new in town and don't know anyone. You may get a couple of invites to places and get to meet more people.

I find when I frequent the same places over and over again I find myself talking to people even if that wasn't my original intention. I live 30 minutes from town so between various jobs and appointments I would go to Starbucks to read or draw. I ended up meeting a couple of people that I regularly draw with and go to art shows with and also my boyfriend.

Mainly I think if you get involved in enough stuff that puts you in contact with people but also keeps you busy enough so that you are not so lonely and desperate to make friends that is the best way to go about it.

[Citizen Rules]

What's your opinion on this? Assuming you don't know anyone in the new town (ex. from HS, college, work, etc) - which is where I think that most people get their circle of friends from.

Ideas that come to mind are joining a club or activity (ex. martial arts, volunteering, etc) or visiting a church. I have been able to make a few guy friends just hanging out at bars, though we never got past beyond just being drinking buddies. Any ideas? Ace I would need more back story to make a suggestion. Are you new to town? Are you dating anyone? What age range are you in? What are your hobbies or interest?

[cricket]

Deal drugs

[The Rodent]

Don't walk around with a shopping trolley full of tin cans and cats.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Don't walk around with a shopping trolley full of tin cans and cats.

Or Young Guns DVDs.

[Choo Yao Chuen]

Go bar hopping -:)

[matt72582]

Wear a shirt with your favorite band or movie in perfect isolation.

Shovel people's driveways!

[Mr Minio]

Keep runnin' around with your gun screamin' "I'm lookin' for friends!". Then, ask a random person is he or she wants to be your friends. If he/she says no, blow his f*ckin' head! Then ask another guy. I assure you he will agree to be your friend!!! This way you can make a lot of friends! Everyone will be your friend! When cops arrive, hide your gun and say you're just makin' friends and that these people agreed to be your friends. THEY CAN'T SAY THEY DIDN'T, BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY DID! NO MATTER UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES, THEY SAID THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS! AND FRIENDS DON'T RAT ON EACH OTHER, SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO TO JAIL AND YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS AS WELL!!!!

[matt72582]

In response to Mr. Minio's amazing advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FSQnvaXchA

[90sAce]

Ace I would need more back story to make a suggestion. Are you new to town? Are you dating anyone? What age range are you in? What are your hobbies or interest?
Thanks, I'm new to town yes, I like martial arts (I was in a Tae Kwon Do class here for 1 year but quit because I can't afford it right now), going to bars and clubs, and trying new fun things (like playing tennis) - I'm in my 20s and work from home. Not currently dating any 1 person - I can meet girls at bars and clubs, but meeting male friends is tougher - would seem weird to me just to "ask a guy to hang out" like you would a girl.

[jamierreed92]

I think you should try going to a church. Mostly because the Church gathers specifically to Worship together and to Fellowship together. So, everyone there has already come ready to fellowship. That might take away from you having to strike up awkward conversation. Plus, you automatically have a Go To common interest, just read up on the denomination before you go. And a huge plus is that you most churches offer life groups or Sunday School classes divided up by gender and age, so you could pretty much just show up to a young adult men's life group and all potential friends would be in the same room as you. Definitely ups the chances, haha. If you plug into groups and get involved in service projects or whatever is offered ASAP, people will come around quicker. Churches prefer active members over pew sitters. And if you go to a Southern Baptist church you can definitely count on getting invited to houses for gatherings non-church related. We seriously will use any excuse possible to get together to eat food, haha!

Do some research before you choose one though. You're going to want to make sure that there is a good age range among the congregation. Young adult singles that aren't in college are sometimes forgotten in super family oriented churches and churches made up of Senior adults, so avoid those. If you're lucky (or live in a big city) you may be able to find a church geared toward young adults. (Passion City Church in Atlanta, GA is a huge church made up mostly of people 18 to 35.)

Good luck, man! If you give it a try and need help deciding where to go, I can help!

[Optimus]

Maybe through a new job. Things become very social through a work place.

[Citizen Rules]

Thanks, I'm new to town yes, I like martial arts (I was in a Tae Kwon Do class here for 1 year but quit because I can't afford it right now), going to bars and clubs, and trying new fun things (like playing tennis) - I'm in my 20s and work from home. Not currently dating any 1 person - I can meet girls at bars and clubs, but meeting male friends is tougher - would seem weird to me just to "ask a guy to hang out" like you would a girl. Ace, sorry for the late reply. I just now seen that you replied to me...and that was 2 weeks ago.

So my follow up answer to your question: Being a guy who's new to town would indeed make it hard to make guy friends. Maybe almost nearly impossible. Once us guys lose touch with school friends and if we also move, then we can become isolated and on our own.

My suggestion:...find a girl to hang with as a friend. Doesn't have to be for romance. There are plenty of women who like activities that most guys do. Try the online personals, and state your looking for friends. It would be much easier to meet a girl to go rock climbing, movie watching, etc, etc....then to find a guy to do those things with.

I know some people who did the online personals and they had great successes and fun too.

[Captain Spaulding]

Act the exact opposite of how you act on here.

[90sAce]

Act the exact opposite of how you act on here.
That's the reason I come here to act this way, yeah - ever tried bringing up evolutionary biology in casual conversation at a bar - I'm sure it wouldn't go over well.

[Guaporense]

Join a cult :cage: .

Join an internet forum to fill the social void of our life! :)

[Guaporense]

I can meet girls at bars and clubs, but meeting male friends is tougher - would seem weird to me just to "ask a guy to hang out" like you would a girl.

Yep, I think that all my male friends I meet from work/school. Except a couple of people from my political movement but they are more comrades from the party rather than friends. And there were a few crazy guys I meet personally after meeting on the web regarding ideas in economic theory as well.

Living in the US for 18 months and all my friends here are also foreigners. That's one thing we have in common.

[Gatsby]

Go en route de Taxi Driver.

[matt72582]

Check out couchsurfing.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Become the town celebrity and give seminars and lectures at the local library.

Be sure to wear sweatpants while you do it.

[Mr Minio]

He could give lectures about cinema. Maybe some cool people interested in the topic would participate.

[90sAce]

Go en route de Taxi Driver.
If Bush was still in office I might just do that - but I'd only settle for 70 virgins in the afterlife rather than a mere Jodie Foster :cool: