Yoda
11-12-11, 02:53 PM
Let's do this.
11 Angry Men (7-2) vs. Flash II (5-4)
Michael Bush can fall out of a suspension-based roller coaster and fracture his tibia for all I care. *deep breath* Okay, sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm sure he's a lovely human being who reads books to mentally handicapped puppies. The problem is, when he's not doing that, he's almost tripling his projected point total in two leagues against me. Makes me mad just thinking about it. You know what? Forget it. I'm sticking with the tibia/roller coaster thing.
PREDICTION: I actually think I'm gonna pull this one out, as I've got good reason to expect solid totals out of every lineup spot, but it's very close. The only upside here is that, with Dionne playing the PIT defense, Ben, and Wallace, if I lose it'll probably mean the Steelers won.
Wyld Stallyns (3-6) vs. Mindsculptors (1-8)
Oof, both teams projected right around 100 points. Adam's been a bit better as of late and lost a game last week his point total really should have won him, so I'll go with that, especially since Mathews already underperformed a bit. Also, I'm playing poker with him tonight, and after I take his money he'll need something to cheer him up.
PREDICTION: Adam wins game #2, celebrates wildly by streaking. Which he actually did once.
Beantown Champs (3-6) vs. Sookie's Suckers (4-5
Boy, as trash-talky as LT is when her team's good, that's exactly how quiet she is when they struggle. She's as quiet as a church mouse these days. I've always wondered about that saying, though: I get that mice are quiet, but why would a mouse in church be quieter? Doesn't the statement imply a level of self-awareness (AND social decorum!) in mice that completely belies our experiences with them? These are the kinds of questions that stopped me from going to college.
PREDICTION: Beantown. Foster and Vick should have strong days, and that's usually going to mean a win.
The Mean Machine (5-4) vs. The Replicants (6-3)
Massive disparity in projection. I think TONGO will outperform his, particularly Bryant and possibly Tebow. But Seds' has a little too much firepower and it's easy to see Bowe having a big game against Denver.
PREDICTION: Replicate another victory.
Big Damn Heroes (5-4) vs. PW's Odd Squad (3-6)
Jay's Patriots are going up against the Jets, which has got to scare him a little given how much he relies on, well, all of them (you just know he wants us to add a Punter next year so he can take Zoltan Mesko in the 12th round). Probably the toughest call of the week, but I'll go PW. Why? You know that roller coaster Michael Bush is riding in the whole tibia thing above? It's name is "Vincent Jackson." I'm pretty sure that dude has an identical twin he lets play every other game for fun.
Hired Goons (4-5) vs. Team Zissou (5-4)
Probably gonna be Fiscal here. Three pretty reliable backs these days, what with Felix Jones out another week. The WR situation is a little sketchy, but it's the only thing that is.
PREDICTION: Fiscal puts Badger in a red knit body bag with a little tassle thing on top while a David Bowie song in Portugese plays in the background.
The No Name Gang (6-3) vs. Dextruction (6-3)
Big playoff implications here; the winner's in the running for a bye and the loser probably kisses the chance goodbye. And the projections are almost identical, to boot. And on top of that, Dex's three players put up totals almost completely in line with those projections.
PREDICTION: Dex, simply because it's easy to imagine Stewart or Lynch turning back into a pumpkin in a given week. This probably isn't the week that happens to Aaron Rodgers, though, if it ever does. He might be unpumpkinable. Awesome word I just made up, there.
Think I can blow a two-game lead on everyone in just two weeks? I think I can. Let's find out.
11 Angry Men (7-2) vs. Flash II (5-4)
Michael Bush can fall out of a suspension-based roller coaster and fracture his tibia for all I care. *deep breath* Okay, sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm sure he's a lovely human being who reads books to mentally handicapped puppies. The problem is, when he's not doing that, he's almost tripling his projected point total in two leagues against me. Makes me mad just thinking about it. You know what? Forget it. I'm sticking with the tibia/roller coaster thing.
PREDICTION: I actually think I'm gonna pull this one out, as I've got good reason to expect solid totals out of every lineup spot, but it's very close. The only upside here is that, with Dionne playing the PIT defense, Ben, and Wallace, if I lose it'll probably mean the Steelers won.
Wyld Stallyns (3-6) vs. Mindsculptors (1-8)
Oof, both teams projected right around 100 points. Adam's been a bit better as of late and lost a game last week his point total really should have won him, so I'll go with that, especially since Mathews already underperformed a bit. Also, I'm playing poker with him tonight, and after I take his money he'll need something to cheer him up.
PREDICTION: Adam wins game #2, celebrates wildly by streaking. Which he actually did once.
Beantown Champs (3-6) vs. Sookie's Suckers (4-5
Boy, as trash-talky as LT is when her team's good, that's exactly how quiet she is when they struggle. She's as quiet as a church mouse these days. I've always wondered about that saying, though: I get that mice are quiet, but why would a mouse in church be quieter? Doesn't the statement imply a level of self-awareness (AND social decorum!) in mice that completely belies our experiences with them? These are the kinds of questions that stopped me from going to college.
PREDICTION: Beantown. Foster and Vick should have strong days, and that's usually going to mean a win.
The Mean Machine (5-4) vs. The Replicants (6-3)
Massive disparity in projection. I think TONGO will outperform his, particularly Bryant and possibly Tebow. But Seds' has a little too much firepower and it's easy to see Bowe having a big game against Denver.
PREDICTION: Replicate another victory.
Big Damn Heroes (5-4) vs. PW's Odd Squad (3-6)
Jay's Patriots are going up against the Jets, which has got to scare him a little given how much he relies on, well, all of them (you just know he wants us to add a Punter next year so he can take Zoltan Mesko in the 12th round). Probably the toughest call of the week, but I'll go PW. Why? You know that roller coaster Michael Bush is riding in the whole tibia thing above? It's name is "Vincent Jackson." I'm pretty sure that dude has an identical twin he lets play every other game for fun.
Hired Goons (4-5) vs. Team Zissou (5-4)
Probably gonna be Fiscal here. Three pretty reliable backs these days, what with Felix Jones out another week. The WR situation is a little sketchy, but it's the only thing that is.
PREDICTION: Fiscal puts Badger in a red knit body bag with a little tassle thing on top while a David Bowie song in Portugese plays in the background.
The No Name Gang (6-3) vs. Dextruction (6-3)
Big playoff implications here; the winner's in the running for a bye and the loser probably kisses the chance goodbye. And the projections are almost identical, to boot. And on top of that, Dex's three players put up totals almost completely in line with those projections.
PREDICTION: Dex, simply because it's easy to imagine Stewart or Lynch turning back into a pumpkin in a given week. This probably isn't the week that happens to Aaron Rodgers, though, if it ever does. He might be unpumpkinable. Awesome word I just made up, there.
Think I can blow a two-game lead on everyone in just two weeks? I think I can. Let's find out.