Peculiarities / 'special' behavior from other cultures / nationalities

[Brodinski]

Alright, sounds like a strange idea for a thread, but I'm sure everyone has been into contact with people from another nationality of whom you thought: "hmm, this is pretty weird what they are doing / saying." So, why not talk about it here and perhaps learn a thing or two, seeing as chances are good there will be someone of that very nationality on this board who can clarify what you think is peculiar or special.

I don't mean stereotypes like 'Arabs = terrorists'. I'm talking about describing specific situations where you thought that that kind of behavior was uncomparable or even unthinkable in your own culture. I gotta say beforehand, try NOT to get offended when people say what you think is racist or biased...

Fire away...

[Brodinski]

I will go first, seeing as the very idea for this thead is the direct result of my going out last night.

So, last night I went out with some of my old mates from back when I was in Sheffield on my 6 month Erasmus program. They were in Belgium for the weekend and we decided to get together for old times' sake. Now, 'they' are 2 guys from Sheffield and 3 from Manchester, UK. The plan was to reminisce early on the night and then go out on the town later that night, meaning going to get drunk.

While we were at the pub, it occured to me that the way they talked about women was quite... direct. Well, it was more than direct. It was pretty offensive and even misogynistic. When contemplating this for a bit, I remembered from my time in Sheffield that this was pretty much the case every time British lads would talk about women that are hot.

I'm not saying a whole lot here, but I'll clarify it with some examples:

ladies, look away :cool:

Terms used by British lads to describe 'sex':

violating
destroying
punishing
ruining
fling my goo at it
shoot one up her dirtbox
split her like a piece of firewood
And there are more that are unsuited for this board due to the profanity. Anyway, you get the point.

Now, I am not saying that the British guys on this forum talk like that. I'm just saying that pretty much every British guy aged 18-25 has talked to me like that regarding women.

I personally think it's quite ingrained in the British 'lad' culture. When I would ask them about it, they just say it's "lad talk". They wouldn't say that stuff to anyone other than another lad. It's largely jokey of course, but I haven't come across any other culture where males talk in that manner about women.

Am I on the mark here, HK? Is it part of that lad culture? And is it really something the majority of 'young' guys do?

[Nausicaä]

^ I think most of the men that talk like that/'showing off to their mates' are substituting for the fact they are not getting any or are rubbish in bed.

:yup:

[gandalf26]

I will go first, seeing as the very idea for this thead is the direct result of my going out last night.

So, last night I went out with some of my old mates from back when I was in Sheffield on my 6 month Erasmus program. They were in Belgium for the weekend and we decided to get together for old times' sake. Now, 'they' are 2 guys from Sheffield and 3 from Manchester, UK. The plan was to reminisce early on the night and then go out on the town later that night, meaning going to get drunk.

While we were at the pub, it occured to me that the way they talked about women was quite... direct. Well, it was more than direct. It was pretty offensive and even misogynistic. When contemplating this for a bit, I remembered from my time in Sheffield that this was pretty much the case every time British lads would talk about women that are hot.

I'm not saying a whole lot here, but I'll clarify it with some examples:

ladies, look away :cool:


Terms used by British lads to describe 'sex':

violating
destroying
punishing
ruining
fling my goo at it
shoot one up her dirtbox
split her like a piece of firewood
And there are more that are unsuited for this board due to the profanity. Anyway, you get the point.

Now, I am not saying that the British guys on this forum talk like that. I'm just saying that pretty much every British guy aged 18-25 has talked to me like that regarding women.

I personally think it's quite ingrained in the British 'lad' culture. When I would ask them about it, they just say it's "lad talk". They wouldn't say that stuff to anyone other than another lad. It's largely jokey of course, but I haven't come across any other culture where males talk in that manner about women.

Am I on the mark here, HK? Is it part of that lad culture? And is it really something the majority of 'young' guys do?

I'm British, and I have a lot of friends that talk exactly like that. Every female is refered to as "Breed", for example she is "top Breed" or can't come out tnite I'm staying at "the Breeds" house, meaning GF.

I think that you will find most of these so called "lads" will turn into complete sweethearts when there are no mates around, real pussycat romantics.

You are spot on about this being ingrained into "lad" culture. Magazines, TV, Media in general are telling us we all need to be these "lad" type creatures that see women as objects and we need to spend every waking moment outside of work concentrating on Women/Sex, Drinking, Cars and Football.

I ve never really bought into that although I was a semi "lad" from the age of probably 17-21. Quickly grew out of it though unlike some of my mates. (I'm 27 now). I have been drunk only once in the last 2 years, not interested in Fast Cars, Football and certainly don't buy into the "lad" view on Women.

[Brodinski]

I don't know if it's that. Of course, guys throw out the occassional remark when they see a hot girl, but there's a difference between saying 'damn, she's hot' and 'I would ruin that bird'. From what I know, British guys are more 'extreme' in their ways of talking about (hot) women than other cultures, except Australians.

Maybe I hung out with the wrong bunch of people...

[Brodinski]

I'm British, and I have a lot of friends that talk exactly like that. Every female is refered to as "Breed", for example she is "top Breed" or can't come out tnite I'm staying at "the Breeds" house, meaning GF.

Yeah haha, just the way how you refer to women. My mates just call women 'birds'. If they are hot, they are referred to as 'fit birds'. [/quote]

[gandalf26]

To put things in perspective you are an American Breed are you not?

[Harry Lime]

And don't do drugs!

[akatemple]

I think that you will find most of these so called "lads" will turn into complete sweethearts when there are no mates around, real pussycat romantics.

I am American and it's the same here, when guys are in a group they talk pretty much the same, different words but meaning the same. Get them alone with a girl or something like that and they are completely different, I would think it's like that in every culture. I am 30 and most guys my age have grown out of it but luckily I am insanely immature, but for the most part it is guys around 17 - 25 but this is just from my personal experience and can't speak for all Americans obviously.

[mark f]

It sounds like basic "locker room" talk. The exact words and phrases are different but the meanings are the same. I've never been one for locker room talk, so I guess that makes me "gay" or somehow less-masculine than these other "lads". Then again, it's been 30 years since I could be considered a lad. I understand it but I've always gone out of my way to avoid people whose depth of discussion about women was so shallow. Now, don't get me wrong. I just watched Cabin Fever for the first time today and it had two incredibly HOT women, but I had no desire to share with my brother and my best friend what we were actually thinking about them. That's way beyond obvious, especially for three old men.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Terms used by British lads to describe 'sex':

violating
destroying
punishing
ruining
fling my goo at it
shoot one up her dirtbox
split her like a piece of firewood

Can someone get me a British lad, please? Maybe arrange for one to show up for my birthday next week. I'll be firewood. I've got enough to warm up several houses this winter. Please - I must be destroyed!

[Brodinski]

I'm not at all convinced this is a global occurrance. Those are some vile terms right there. It's not like saying 'she would get it' or 'I would poke her'. Like I said, it's one thing to say a girl is hot, another entirely to say you'd turn her into a sobbing pile of misery.

And SC, I don't know what gay British men's vocabulary is for describing sex. What I do know is that Britain is pretty much the last bastion when it comes to utilizing homosexuality as a means to ridicule straight men. Calling other straight guys homo's, benders, knights of the bumhole,... is not done around here, but British guys don't really seem to have received that memo.

[Golgot]

And don't do drugs!

Or Nancy Reagan.

What I do know is that Britain is pretty much the last bastion when it comes to utilizing homosexuality as a means to ridicule straight men.

Um, no you don't know that. It's quite rife in Mauritius for example, where homosexuality is illegal. I'd imagine it's quite rife lots of places.

---

*Edited*

On the brutal/demeaning terms you mention before, yeah I've known plenty of lads who speak like that. And it does tend to be lads, and they grow out of it. Interesting that you say there's nothing like that in Belgium.

PS I wouldn't want you to think all young male Brits were like that. I never chucked my goo at anyone. (Well, like, not verbally. Oh dear)

(PS that last one is definitely on the playful end out of all those phrases ;) And as you say most of that talk is all 'big up' talk between boys. The 'objectivising' side of it is pretty dark tho, true)

[Deadite]

Oompa loompas in their native habitat fart in each other's mouths as a form of greeting.

[Brodinski]

On the brutal/demeaning terms you mention before, they are definitely sick, and speak of a twisted view of women, but I wouldn't want you to think all Brits are like that. Certainly I can't think of anyone I hang with who'd let that sh*t roll off their tongue - and they'd get a verbal smack down if they did. (Alright, if I'm honest, they'd get a sarcastic retort. It's the British way ;)). Aside from anything else about half of those strike me as phrases those guys have generated themselves, they're not anything I've heard before. (Altho i've def met guys who say comparable stuff. I'm just not mates with em ;))

Are you suggesting that in Belgium no such terms and phrases exist to describe women in derogatory, 'objectivising' or brutal ways? And that there are no groups of lads around the place that might be making their own?

No, I reckon there are Belgian guys who talk about women like that. It's just that I haven't heard anyone talk about it with such vile terms. It's more stuff along the lines of "I'd do her" or "she would get it after a couple of drinks".

What I mean is that as far as I know, it's a marginal appearance over here, whereas in Britain it's more ingrained in the lad culture. I'm not overstating when I say that almost every British guy I went out with spoke in such terms at one point.

Oh and in regards to the whole homosexuality thing. Last bastion is overstating it, but it just has a nice ring to it so I used it.

[Golgot]

No, I reckon there are Belgian guys who talk about women like that. It's just that I haven't heard anyone talk about it with such vile terms. It's more stuff along the lines of "I'd do her" or "she would get it after a couple of drinks".

What I mean is that as far as I know, it's a marginal appearance over here, whereas in Britain it's more ingrained in the lad culture. I'm not overstating when I say that almost every British guy I went out with spoke in such terms at one point.

Oh and in regards to the whole homosexuality thing. Last bastion is overstating it, but it just has a nice ring to it so I used it.

We are the last bastion of milky tea ;)

I think Xbox is the new frontier of 'everything is gay'. (Seriously, some of those kids. And it's mainly US kids I feel I should point out, altho that could just be because there's more of em on there)

Some of those phrases you mention sound pretty specific to those groups of friends and regions. I'd say it's hard to guess just how prevelant the more brutal end of the spectrum is. And being a Brit, I can't help but bring class into it... amongst my middle-class Londonite mates no one ever spoke like that, but my more 'chavvy' mates would go there for sure. (Often with that jovial bullsh*tting spin to it. And my 'northern chavvy' mates had a particular talent for eccentric creative language, in all circumstances. Gandalf's caveat is a good one tho, that often those same guys would be absolute gents with their ladies. Not like monagomous necessarily, but old school 'coat on puddle' gents in many ways.)

[Brodinski]

Ha, Golgot, I went out last night with some Brits I work with, and those guys are stone cold misogynists, were it not that it was all just banter. That being said, I laughed so hard, my stomach was hurting and I was literally crying.

A taste:

Bloody 'ell, that girl is small enough to use as a fleshlight. Slap 'er on yer dick a couple o' times and den toss 'er out the window.

Well, if my Mrs ever left me, I'd just shack up with a 20 something hot bird and if she steps out o' line, well, let's just say that Fritzl's ideas weren't all bad.

I don't mind riding a girl's dirt track. My pole doesn't have taste buds.

Just to put things in perspective, this was all in good fun. Two of those guys are married, one had a kid and the other is in since recently in a relationship. But still, you Brits ;)

[Golgot]

We roll around in the gutter, but we use a starry array of words. And then we look up women's skirts ;)

[Thursday Next]

Some of those phrases mentioned as being used by British lads reminded me very much of the comedy show The Inbetweeners. In which, as Nausicaa points out, the more vile language is very much a cover for not actually getting any/ not being good at sex.

I really don't think all British men talk like that, though.

And as a counterpoint to such unpleasant behaviour, someone I know from the US came over to Britain recently and remarked on how often Brits apparently say 'sorry'.

So apparently we're rude but really apologetic about it?

[quint]

Heck, I'm a middle aged male, and I was offended by those phrases.

No matter how anyone spins it, blame it on social mindsets, the male whatever, it's not 'special behavior'.

It's just plain vulgar.

[Golgot]

Heck, I'm a middle aged male, and I was offended by those phrases.

No matter how anyone spins it, blame it on social mindsets, the male whatever, it's not 'special behavior'.

It's just plain vulgar.

I think the focus on competing to be the most creative/outrageous, and the fact that most Brit guys who talk this way don't actually act that way with women, are the mitigating factors.

That said yeah, I only found the third one amusing really, and I still woulda probably rolled my eyes and bit-back at the guy myself if I was there ('Your entire body doesn't have any taste buds' etc ;)). But that's a game in itself :D

[Brodinski]

Heck, I'm a middle aged male, and I was offended by those phrases.

No matter how anyone spins it, blame it on social mindsets, the male whatever, it's not 'special behavior'.

It's just plain vulgar.

Nah, wasn't like that. I don't mean to 'spin this', but it was said in good fun in between a couple of pints.

And Golgot, spot on with your assessment that men don't talk that way when women are around. You'd have to be dumb as hell to say stuff like that when in the company of women. It's extremely offensive and misogynistic.

It's kinda like how women talk about sex partners to each other. They wouldn't do it when men are around; wouldn't dream of doing it. But amongst each other? No secret is safe; no stone of your bedroom accomplishments is left unturned. Basically when you have sex with a girl, you can 100 % sure that not only she knows how good you are in the sack, but also every woman in her (close) social circle.

[honeykid]

As the thread's about, it's a cultural thing. As I've mentioned before, we're slowly becoming the 51st State, but some things may never change.

It's Jim so, y'know, language and stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKhnZlQr0Bo

I was going to post this in the Stand-Up thread, but as it's mostly about national differences, it works here too, I think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwLodb1wRzQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kbtx1XEtyw&feature=related
The British/English stuff starts around 3:45m of the first clip.

[Used Future]

Joking or not, I think you've been hanging around with the wrong kind of British men.

I've never classed myself as a 'lad' and have never used those phrases regardless of whether I was in female company.

It comes off as sad, immature, and demonstrates a complete lack of respect for women.

'Phwoar! I'd give her one' was more the order of the day when I was a youngster. Sid James has got a lot to answer for. ;)

[will.15]

I don't really see British men are so different than any other nationality in talking about women, except they say it more colorfully and less crudely apparently than Americans who just use straight obscenities to describe what they would do.

[quint]

Americans who just use straight obscenities to describe what they would do.

Yea, but if a woman approached a guy talking like this, what he'd really do is cry and wet himself.

[christine]

Ha, Golgot, I went out last night with some Brits I work with, and those guys are stone cold misogynists, were it not that it was all just banter. That being said, I laughed so hard, my stomach was hurting and I was literally crying.

A taste:

Bloody 'ell, that girl is small enough to use as a fleshlight. Slap 'er on yer dick a couple o' times and den toss 'er out the window.

Well, if my Mrs ever left me, I'd just shack up with a 20 something hot bird and if she steps out o' line, well, let's just say that Fritzl's ideas weren't all bad.

I don't mind riding a girl's dirt track. My pole doesn't have taste buds.

Just to put things in perspective, this was all in good fun. Two of those guys are married, one had a kid and the other is in since recently in a relationship. But still, you Brits ;)

ha the more you laugh the more imaginative the descriptions will be!

[mack]

I will go first, seeing as the very idea for this thead is the direct result of my going out last night.

So, last night I went out with some of my old mates from back when I was in Sheffield on my 6 month Erasmus program. They were in Belgium for the weekend and we decided to get together for old times' sake. Now, 'they' are 2 guys from Sheffield and 3 from Manchester, UK. The plan was to reminisce early on the night and then go out on the town later that night, meaning going to get drunk.

While we were at the pub, it occured to me that the way they talked about women was quite... direct. Well, it was more than direct. It was pretty offensive and even misogynistic. When contemplating this for a bit, I remembered from my time in Sheffield that this was pretty much the case every time British lads would talk about women that are hot.

I'm not saying a whole lot here, but I'll clarify it with some examples:

ladies, look away :cool:

Terms used by British lads to describe 'sex':

violating
destroying
punishing
ruining
fling my goo at it
shoot one up her dirtbox
split her like a piece of firewood
And there are more that are unsuited for this board due to the profanity. Anyway, you get the point.

Now, I am not saying that the British guys on this forum talk like that. I'm just saying that pretty much every British guy aged 18-25 has talked to me like that regarding women.

I personally think it's quite ingrained in the British 'lad' culture. When I would ask them about it, they just say it's "lad talk". They wouldn't say that stuff to anyone other than another lad. It's largely jokey of course, but I haven't come across any other culture where males talk in that manner about women.

Am I on the mark here, HK? Is it part of that lad culture? And is it really something the majority of 'young' guys do?

sooo...... funnily enough, a few months ago, I read Sigmund Freud's Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious (http://www.amazon.com/Jokes-Their-Relation-Unconscious-Sigmund/dp/0393001458), and would you believe me if I told you there were whole chapters dedicated to "smut" jokes - between opposite sex people and same sex people.

enlightening, truly. do browse it, you'll really have your eyebrows raised then. :yup: :up: