How Do You Become a Devil Worshipper?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Enough about God or the non-existence of God. Let's just assume that the Devil exists.

http://www.niksula.hut.fi/%7Ersirokov/covers/boy_george_-_the_devil_in_sister_george2.jpg

Who here is a Satanist that could teach me the ways of Satanism?

What exactly is The Devil like? Why is he worth the worship?

How do you sell your soul to The Devil? Or does that even happen anymore? How much do you get in return for your soul?

What is the lifestyle of a Devil Worshipper these days? How do you recognize them on the street? What sort of clothes do they wear? Is being a Devil Worshipper easy in this economically challenged time?

What exactly are the afterlife benefits? Do all Devil Worshippers go to Hell or are they sometimes snatched away by God and taken to Heaven? What kind of treatment do you get in Hell? Is there a V.I.P. section for Devil Worshippers? Do you avoid the fire at all? Or do you just go inside something a little less severe -- like a giant microwave or something?

Is it ever okay to worship both The Devil and God? What about other Gods?

MoFo Satanists, speak out! Tell me, how do you become a Devil Worshipper? I want to know all there is to know about that red guy you adore. It's almost Halloween and I think we need a little multicultural moment of the darkest kind, don't you?

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00804/Marilyn_Manson_804312a.jpg

[wintertriangles]

Satanists don't worship Satan. Thread over

[Sexy Celebrity]

Satanists don't worship Satan. Thread over

Ah! No, no, no! Need more input. God, Triangles, you can be so evil. I'll allow it, though, since this is a thread about the Devil. Are you a Satanist, then?

To be honest, I've heard of Satanism. Don't they worship themselves? I'd be curious to know more about this, but Satanists that worship Satan -- feel free to have pride in your own version of Satanism and do talk openly about what goes on in your little sect.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Theistic Satanism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theistic_Satanism)

Theistic Satanism, also known as Traditional Satanism, Spiritual Satanism or Devil (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil) Worship, is a form of Satanism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanism) with the primary belief that Satan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan) is an actual deity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deity) or force to revere or worship.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theistic_Satanism#cite_note-autogenerated6-0)[2] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theistic_Satanism#cite_note-1) Other characteristics of Theistic Satanism may include a belief in magic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_%28paranormal%29), which is manipulated through ritual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritual), although that is not a defining criterion, and theistic Satanists may focus solely on devotion. Unlike the LaVeyan Satanism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaVeyan_Satanism) founded by Anton LaVey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_LaVey) in the 1960s, Theistic Satanism is theistic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theism) as opposed to atheistic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism), believing that Satan (Hebrew: הַשָׂטָן ha-Satan, "the accuser") is a real being rather than a symbol of individualism.

See, now I've started a debate. Triangles says Satanists don't worship Satan, but there is a clan of them that do!

Anybody here a Theistic Satanist? If not, what do you think about it?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Speaking of the Devil, what exactly does he look like? There's been some conflicting interpretations. Honeykid says the Devil looks like this:

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2011/07/Whoopi-Goldberg-3-1310496202.jpg

I assume that those are the horns surrounding his/her face. Kinda droopy horns, aren't they? And there appears to be a lot of them -- not just two. I wonder why that is. More money? More souls?

[will.15]

God and Satan are one.

[Sexy Celebrity]

God and Satan are one.

Then shouldn't Heaven and Hell be the same thing?

[will.15]

Yes, it is.

[will.15]

How to Summon Demons

*For people who have had problems in getting a Demon to appear, click on the link at the bottom of the page


The most important thing you can do is forget everything you have been taught about Demons from sources that are hostile to Satanism.
There is nothing but misinformation from most of the readily available and most popular writings. Following the instructions written in most grimoires is not only wrong, but can be very dangerous.
My own experience with various Demons is that they are very proud and being respectful is very important.
Recently, several High Priests and High Priestesses performed energy work with many different Demons including all of the Demons of the Goetia. All 72 of the Goetic Demons have been freed and many more. We found the true identities of most of these Demons. Many have used different aliases in order to avoid being viciously abused. These Demons, unlike the descriptions given in many of the old grimoires are not monsters. They are beautiful, popular, and important Gods.
ASMODEUS TOLD SOLOMON:
"SO ASK ME NOT MANY THINGS; FOR THY KINGDOM ALSO AFTER A LITTLE TIME IS TO BE DISRUPTED AND THY GLORY IS BUT FOR A SEASON, AND SHORT WILL BE THY TYRANNY OVER US."
Demons are immortal; a “season” is but a few thousand years to them. The Christian "God" is losing power. Father Satan has informed me that our side has won. We warn everyone: using the spiritually abusive methods of the old grimoires is not only foolish, but will inevitably result in personal disaster. The Demons must always be approached with extreme honesty and respect. The days of using enemy "God" names, nine-foot circles, threats and other destructive and abusive methods are over. Don't say you weren't warned.... When we are new, most of the Demons are willing to help us. The goal of Satanism is to become as a god. This means self-empowerment.

As we progress through our own efforts, we become more and more adept. We should be able to rely upon our own powers instead of the powers of others outside of us.
The Demons are best when it comes to imparting knowledge and wisdom, so that we may learn and advance our own powers.
As we progress, we should be able to be competent in all aspects of magick and be able to influence others and our environments on our own, without any outside help. Although, even with an adept, there may be circumstances where issues can be overwhelming and the help of a Demon is needed.
For spiritual guidance, the Demons are here for us at all levels, from those who are new, to those who are advanced.
From my own experiences, I would highly recommend to those of you who are serious in progressing spiritually, to establish a close and strong relationship with a Demon who is willing to work with you and guide you along the left hand path. This can be a very rewarding experience to say the least.
How to summon:
Always treat the Demons with honesty and respect. Never command, demand or try to exploit them in any way.
THE CORRECT METHODS FOR SUMMONING A DEMON:
Know the Demon you intend to summon. This website lists the attributes and available knowledge about different Demons. All of the Goetic Demons are human friendly, as we know from experience.
It is important to have a specific purpose; know exactly *why* you are summoning a particular Demon.
When we ask assistance from a Demon, it is only proper to offer something in return. Be prepared to give something in return. This is something both you and the Demon should agree upon. Remember, the Elder Gods value one’s word, honesty, integrity and one’s honor as the utmost importance. NEVER agree to anything you know you cannot follow through on.
Know the method you plan to use to communicate with the Demon.

One of the most important steps in the summoning of a Demon you are not yet familiar with, is to go through Satan.
The reasons for this are serious. Not all Demons are friendly to humans, nor are all Demons of Satan. Satan has authority over all of the Goetic Demons. Most Demons are friendly when treated with respect and summonings result in a positive experience. I have found many Demons that have caused outsiders problems are often friendly to a confirmed Satanist.
I have learned much through my own interactions with Demons and through the many experiences of others, both the laity and the Ministry. Experience is, as always, the best teacher.
There are different levels of experience when one establishes contact with a Demon:
The Demon speaks to us through our thoughts (telepathy). With telepathy, the words of the Demon come to us through our thoughts. In the beginning, it can be difficult for those who are not as sensitive or lack psychic ability to differentiate between the communication from another entity and their own thoughts. With power meditation and experience, this becomes much easier over time.
We see and hear the Demon. This is with people who are more psychic and open.
We invoke the energy of the Demon. This is powerful and electrifying. We are engulfed in a strong aura. During this time, we will often hear the Demon speak to us and we may in addition, see the Demon.
During an actual summoning, the Demon appears and speaks to us through scrying into a mirror, in the smoke of the incense, or in some other manner. This is best for those who are new. With scrying, if we are sensitive enough, we can often feel the Demon touch us if he/she chooses to do so.
Tangible contact; objects in our rooms are moved, there is actual physical evidence of the Demon having been present.

There are accounts in popular books concerning extremely powerful energies encountered when evoking a Demon. To my knowledge, no one using the methods outlined on this website has ever experienced anything negative or overwhelming. I have invoked Demons many times (see Invocation & Evocation (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Evocation.html)) and the energy was never beyond anything I couldn’t handle or in any way uncomfortable.
Methods:
Copy, print out or draw the sigil of the Demon you wish to summon on clean paper. It is important that you be left alone and not disturbed in any way. Close your eyes and visualize the sigil in your mind as best you can. It is ok to open them and look at the sigil again ( as many times as needed) to get a clearer image. While visualizing, recite, or chant the name of the Demon repeatedly either in your mind or aloud.
Recite the following prayer:

Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever. I entreat thee to inspire__________(name of Demon) to manifest before me that he/she may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his/her office. This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father.
The Demon can manifest in different ways.

Through a mirror as in"scrying." (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Black_Mirror.html) You will see the Demon in the mirror.
Through the smoke of the incense
The Demon appears directly, when one is sensitive enough and in a deep meditative state.

Prepare your area. Your first summoning rituals should be performed at night. The reasons for this are the energies are different at night from those during the day and it is easier to be alone and free from distractions. When one has established relationships with certain Demons, it is no longer necessary to perform a formal summoning ritual. The Demon can appear to us night or day and all we need do is concentrate to contact them through telepathy.
You will need:

A quiet place where you will not be disturbed.
Quality incense with a pleasing fragrance. I strongly recommend when working with any new incense to try it out before the actual ritual or summoning as cheap stinking incense is insulting to the spirits and can be embarrassing in any ritual. See INCENSE (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Incense.html)
One or more black or blue candles. Black is choice, but blue is ok for a substitute if you cannot obtain black. Also, if available, the candle color of the specific Demon you wish to summon. (These are listed on this website).
Your paper containing the Demon’s sigil.

When finished with the sigil, find a safe place to store it, preferably in your own black book or journal. ALWAYS treat this paper/sigil with extreme respect and NEVER burn it! The sigil can be reused.
There is no need for a nine-foot circle. Demons *hate* circles and there is no need for a “license to depart” as both are offensive and insulting. Treat the Demons with respect and in turn, you will receive the same.
After the petition to Satan, you should feel his positive energy. This is a good sign and a go-ahead. If for some reason the Demon doesn’t answer, try another time. Many times the Demon does appear, but those who are new to summoning are not psychically open enough or experienced to sense him/her. Most people have had to perform the summoning ritual more than once for the Demon to manifest.
Often, the Demon does answer, but many are not aware. Look for coincidences and things out of the ordinary. Awareness here is everything.
Always offer a token of appreciation and gratitude in return for his/her services. Some ideas are publicity for the Demon, working against Christianity, working to advance Satanism or any service that you both can agree upon.
PLEASE READ THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/FAQ.html) IF YOU ARE NEW!
People ask the same old questions over and over again in the e-groups. Most questions are answered by clicking on the above link and taking the time to read the information.
IF YOU HAVE HAD PROBLEMS IN GETTING A DEMON TO APPEAR AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS AT SUMMONING, CLICK HERE. (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Summoning.html)
© Copyright 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, Joy of Satan Ministries;
Library of Congress Number: 12-16457

[wintertriangles]

Then shouldn't Heaven and Hell be the same thing?Fire above, ice below

[Powdered Water]

Everybody knows that if you want to sell your soul, you have to go to the Crossroads.

"Hot damn, son! I do believe you did sell your soul to the Devil!"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gK1PK_-4Za8/TQNAmWDGOYI/AAAAAAAAAi8/h9qHXOTtOIo/s1600/oh%2Bbrother%2Bwhere%2Bart%2Bthou.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

Let's try to summon a demon right now. Afterall, it is night and I don't see why a demon can't appear via a Movie Forums post.

Okay, a mirror:

http://www.artsignsinteriors.com/images/pg17/sexy_decor_abstract_mirror_wood_02.jpg

Incense:

http://stores.wholesalecentral.com/images/R3TJZ99QC0YZ03IPBYI00VF3MVPYPZ/Cutout_1846IN_v1.jpg

Black Candles:

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_30/1132268964XzXgra.jpg

Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever. I entreat thee to inspire ...

Any Demon Will Do, Thanks -- but preferably one that looks like Jake Gyllenhaal

to manifest before me that he/she (he/she? Are demons hermaphrodites?) may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his/her office.

This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father.

Okay, Demon -- show yourself!

[Halfangel337]

Satanism and the Satanic Bible both teach that G-d is found in oneself. They teach that the way to find the G-d inside is to act on all baser desires instead of supressing them like Judeo-Christian religions teach.

[DexterRiley]

its in the details.

[honeykid]

As SC did his demon conjuring and Halfangel was the next to post, does that mean she's a demon? 7th! We need to know! :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

As SC did his demon conjuring and Halfangel was the next to post, does that mean she's a demon? 7th! We need to know! :D

Hmmmm... interesting. Half angel... sounds like a demon to me.

http://www.logoi.com/pastimages/img/demon_4.jpg

[will.15]

Devil worship looks a lot more fun than Christianity.

[Sexy Celebrity]

My summoned demon came:

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=7656&stc=1&d=1319178978

[AdamKane]

Devil worship looks a lot more fun than Christianity.

That's because you lack an understanding of Christian theology. A Christian can do whatever they want. However, their desires are changed,

[honeykid]

Exactly. Christians, like with all religions, are brainwashed and controlled. :yup:

[AdamKane]

Wrong again. Christianity is about more self control and less control by others.

[will.15]

I think it is wrong for the Christians to hijack this cool thread about devil worshipping and summoning demons.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think it is wrong for the Christians to hijack this cool thread about devil worshipping and summoning demons.

I worried about this happening.

Let's be sinful.

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltetbtSGhD1qd87p3o1_400.gif

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lteeb2N2CT1r3oi1to3_500.gif

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpycqq3ByV1qljt6yo1_500.gif

[honeykid]

Absolutely.

http://yearinrevolt.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/sluts-demotivational-poster.jpg

[Used Future]

As much as the girl in HK's post tickles my fancy...

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/7/4/128912304781050140.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

We're Supposed To Be Worshiping SATAN!

http://groveonline.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/satan-three.jpg

[will.15]

The internet is a great source for enlightenment:




"Satan is not evil he is Christians true savior not Jesus.

A while back someone pointed out how Satan is the unsung hero. Satan is not evil, he is the truth if I was a Christian I would trust him more and skeptical about God intentions. Satan is only guilty for being principled and rebelling against God’s evil ways. God being the ego maniac who hates dissidents and criticism condemned him to hell and blamed him for his evil ways. Christians can’t pinpoint anywhere in the bible where Satan is responsible for causing evil but I will exhibit numerous instances God was evil. God has admitted creating evil. Sometimes, Satan sounds likes Gods alter ego than an adversary. Even when Satan approached Adam and Eve he did not threaten with evil; he was presented and articulated his case which turned out to be true. God in his evil genius had entrusted the future of humankind on two naïve people. Who was more deceptive God or Satan? Did Satan commit delusion of grandeur by offering Adam and eve path of truth? What kind of benevolent God would banish and punish the entire human race for finding the truth from Satan. Adam and Eve had no knowledge of good and evil so they had no way of knowing what’s wrong. God being omniscient was too aware of what would happen.



This is the only true instances in the bible where Satan is involved with inflicting evil

Job 1:6-2:3. In these 2 chapters Satan kills Jobs family, takes away everything he has and give him a horrible disease but all with the permission from God. He asks God if he could do those things to him.
On the flip side God is twisted, evil and a psychopath capable of the most horrible crimes

Genesis 7:23 He killed, intentionally, every man, woman, and child on the planet save eight of them.


God commands Hagar go back into servanthood and bear children for her master though she does not want to. Genesis 16:7-9


Genesis 19:23-25 God burns down a whole city (women and children included) simply because they were supposedly homosexual.


Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and that the Lord slew him. How was Er wicked? The Bible doesn’t give us this bit of information, only that Er was wicked in the sight of the Lord. Genesis 38:7


Genesis 38:10 God murders Onan for refusing to commit incest with his sister in law.


God endorses slavery. He even set up laws as to how slavery was to be carried out, and goes as far as okaying beating them. Exodus 21:2-6


God sanctioned the selling of ones daughter. How can any being tell another to literally sell their child into slavery? Disgusting.. Exodus 21:7


Exodus 32:27 God ordered to be killed, 3,000 Israelites for no greater crime than worshipping a golden calf. I don’t know about you, but death is a pretty harsh f@cking punishment.


Leviticus 26:30 “And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shill ye eat.


Leviticus 27:28-29: God ordered and allowed human sacrifices.


Numbers 31:17-18 God commands Moses to kill all the Medianite people including children and women. To top it off he commands that the virgins be saved for later raping by Moses’ soldiers
.

Deuteronomy 3:3-7: God ordered Moses’ army to "utterly destroy" 60 cities, killing all the women and children within.


Deuteronomy 7:12: God ordered the Israelites to kill all the people of seven nations. He even adds, "show no mercy unto them".


Deuteronomy 20:16: God orders that we kill everything that breathes in the cities that he gives us for an inheritance"

[Used Future]

If Clint Howard can summon the devil on a prehistoric computer, then we can do it here

http://sharetv.org/images/posters/evilspeak_1981.jpg http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PPgU44tBL8E/SdyzW8QnF7I/AAAAAAAABAY/ApRC4m_6yec/s400/evilspeak+3.jpg

[Tyler1]

I am as curious about Christianity as to Satanism.

Sorry dont have much knowledge about religion at all :(

[wintertriangles]

Job 1:6-2:3. In these 2 chapters Satan kills Jobs family, takes away everything he has and give him a horrible disease but all with the permission from God. He asks God if he could do those things to him.Actually he didn't ask god, god told him to do it. He's not even described as the devil but as a lowly traveler of sorts.


That's because you lack an understanding of Christian theology. A Christian can do whatever they want. However, their desires are changed.
I think it's you who lacks an understanding of Christian theology

[will.15]

It's a paste job, and it is tongue in cheek.


But if Satan didn't kill Job's family, then it looks like he hasn't killed anyone.

Hail Satan! Christians have libeled him as an evildoer when he just wants us to have free will, to make our own decisons. Satan is a Libertarian.

[Deadite]

Let me show you how it's done.

http://troll.me/images/bible/cool-story-bro.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYdfsZRURF0

[Deadite]

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldsw4zIUKl1qd7hayo1_500.png

[Godoggo]

http://i1039.photobucket.com/albums/a476/ashafer_bucket/633677466639454746-satan.jpg

[Dog Star Man]

Satan is a Libertarian.

If Satan is the absence of God, then I take this as a compliment.

[Dog Star Man]

http://www.moneyteachers.org/images/kenneth_anger.jpg
(Kenneth Anger)

[will.15]

Look what I found for you, Sexy Celebrity. All these people on the internet claim Satanists don't actually believe in Satan and don't worship him. But it turns out that is not true. Here is everything you need to worship the devil, not a symbloic one, the real McCoy. God may not exist, but Satan does. He walks among us. He isn't returning someday like God promises to. He never left us. God may be our creator, but it is Satan who accepts us for who we are, and is never disappointed and never threatens us with plagues and end of days if we don't live up to His expectations. Satan is not our father. He is our friend. Hail Satan!

http://theisticsatanism.com/

[will.15]

The salinity of the ocean helps it to regulate Earths climate. Jews are 'Gods chosen people' eh? Maybe you shall read Galatians 3:28.

Titus 1:10-16 says:

10. For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. 11. They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. 12 One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.” 13. This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14. and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. 15. To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

Galatians 5:2-4 says: "2 (http://bible.cc/galatians/5-2.htm)Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3 (http://bible.cc/galatians/5-3.htm)Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4 (http://bible.cc/galatians/5-4.htm)You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace."

In Galatians 5:11-12, Paul says: "11 (http://bible.cc/galatians/5-11.htm)Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12 (http://bible.cc/galatians/5-12.htm)As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! "

Galatians 6:12-13 says: 12 (http://bible.cc/galatians/6-12.htm)Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised. The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ. 13 (http://bible.cc/galatians/6-13.htm)Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh.

Gods love is conditional eh? Why? Because he tells us what we can and can not do? Well, human parents tell their children what to do and what not to do for the most part because human parents care about their children. That's Gods motivation for telling us what we can and can not do!

Oh and the idea of God paying for the sins of humanity makes reinforces the idea that his love is conditional.
I don't remember Adam Kane preaching the gospel to the other members of Mutant X.

[DexterRiley]

That's because you lack an understanding of Christian theology. A Christian can do whatever they want. However, their desires are changed,

hey look another Republican.

:laugh:

[Deadite]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X13Kb_DktHg

[DexterRiley]

This thread make me almost want to watch the upcoming flick about the supposedly true story of a woman that allegedly killed 3 people while having an exorcism performed on her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3QWhmKboaU

but these sorts of flicks arent my cup of tea, so i'll probably skip it.

...

what i will do is revisit the excellent 1987 Album Kick by Inxs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPDh0F67YsA

[Godoggo]

This thread make me almost want to watch the upcoming flick about the supposedly true story of a woman that allegedly killed 3 people while having an exorcism performed on her.

Oh dear. I nearly jumped out of my chair watching that trailer. I can't wait to see that one.

Oh and Sexy you will be pleased to know that your thread has inspired the name for my soon-to-be pet goat. Baphomet.

http://i1039.photobucket.com/albums/a476/ashafer_bucket/images-1.jpg

Satan related at 1:23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYGoougMHSQ&feature=related

[DexterRiley]

Baphomet eh,. oh right he was the bad guy in dragnet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2faQpD5MsY

[Sexy Celebrity]

Are you seriously getting a pet goat?

[will.15]

Goats are great for animal sacrifice in voodoo rituals.

[DexterRiley]

they are a kick to own.

[Godoggo]

Are you seriously getting a pet goat?

Yep. I'm moving to the country in a couple of months and I have always wanted a goat.

You've got goats, Dexter? I may hit you up for advice if you don't mind. I've never owned one.

[Dog Star Man]

AdamKane seems to be taking this joke thread way too seriously. Which I think is making this thread more funny than it already is:

http://www.seabythecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/arguing-on-internet.png


Nothin' wrong with debate. But assess content.

[will.15]

This is a joke thread?

[Dog Star Man]

This is a joke thread?

I know, I'm as shocked as you are.

[DexterRiley]

Yep. I'm moving to the country in a couple of months and I have always wanted a goat.

You've got goats, Dexter? I may hit you up for advice if you don't mind. I've never owned one.


All i know about those beasts, i learned from George W Bush.

:D

[Dog Star Man]

How to Summon Demons

*For people who have had problems in getting a Demon to appear, click on the link at the bottom of the page


The most important thing you can do is forget everything you have been taught about Demons from sources that are hostile to Satanism.
There is nothing but misinformation from most of the readily available and most popular writings. Following the instructions written in most grimoires is not only wrong, but can be very dangerous.
My own experience with various Demons is that they are very proud and being respectful is very important.
Recently, several High Priests and High Priestesses performed energy work with many different Demons including all of the Demons of the Goetia. All 72 of the Goetic Demons have been freed and many more. We found the true identities of most of these Demons. Many have used different aliases in order to avoid being viciously abused. These Demons, unlike the descriptions given in many of the old grimoires are not monsters. They are beautiful, popular, and important Gods.
ASMODEUS TOLD SOLOMON:
"SO ASK ME NOT MANY THINGS; FOR THY KINGDOM ALSO AFTER A LITTLE TIME IS TO BE DISRUPTED AND THY GLORY IS BUT FOR A SEASON, AND SHORT WILL BE THY TYRANNY OVER US."
Demons are immortal; a “season” is but a few thousand years to them. The Christian "God" is losing power. Father Satan has informed me that our side has won. We warn everyone: using the spiritually abusive methods of the old grimoires is not only foolish, but will inevitably result in personal disaster. The Demons must always be approached with extreme honesty and respect. The days of using enemy "God" names, nine-foot circles, threats and other destructive and abusive methods are over. Don't say you weren't warned.... When we are new, most of the Demons are willing to help us. The goal of Satanism is to become as a god. This means self-empowerment.

As we progress through our own efforts, we become more and more adept. We should be able to rely upon our own powers instead of the powers of others outside of us.
The Demons are best when it comes to imparting knowledge and wisdom, so that we may learn and advance our own powers.
As we progress, we should be able to be competent in all aspects of magick and be able to influence others and our environments on our own, without any outside help. Although, even with an adept, there may be circumstances where issues can be overwhelming and the help of a Demon is needed.
For spiritual guidance, the Demons are here for us at all levels, from those who are new, to those who are advanced.
From my own experiences, I would highly recommend to those of you who are serious in progressing spiritually, to establish a close and strong relationship with a Demon who is willing to work with you and guide you along the left hand path. This can be a very rewarding experience to say the least.
How to summon:
Always treat the Demons with honesty and respect. Never command, demand or try to exploit them in any way.
THE CORRECT METHODS FOR SUMMONING A DEMON:

Know the Demon you intend to summon. This website lists the attributes and available knowledge about different Demons. All of the Goetic Demons are human friendly, as we know from experience.
It is important to have a specific purpose; know exactly *why* you are summoning a particular Demon.
When we ask assistance from a Demon, it is only proper to offer something in return. Be prepared to give something in return. This is something both you and the Demon should agree upon. Remember, the Elder Gods value one’s word, honesty, integrity and one’s honor as the utmost importance. NEVER agree to anything you know you cannot follow through on.
Know the method you plan to use to communicate with the Demon.

One of the most important steps in the summoning of a Demon you are not yet familiar with, is to go through Satan.
The reasons for this are serious. Not all Demons are friendly to humans, nor are all Demons of Satan. Satan has authority over all of the Goetic Demons. Most Demons are friendly when treated with respect and summonings result in a positive experience. I have found many Demons that have caused outsiders problems are often friendly to a confirmed Satanist.
I have learned much through my own interactions with Demons and through the many experiences of others, both the laity and the Ministry. Experience is, as always, the best teacher.
There are different levels of experience when one establishes contact with a Demon:

The Demon speaks to us through our thoughts (telepathy). With telepathy, the words of the Demon come to us through our thoughts. In the beginning, it can be difficult for those who are not as sensitive or lack psychic ability to differentiate between the communication from another entity and their own thoughts. With power meditation and experience, this becomes much easier over time.
We see and hear the Demon. This is with people who are more psychic and open.
We invoke the energy of the Demon. This is powerful and electrifying. We are engulfed in a strong aura. During this time, we will often hear the Demon speak to us and we may in addition, see the Demon.
During an actual summoning, the Demon appears and speaks to us through scrying into a mirror, in the smoke of the incense, or in some other manner. This is best for those who are new. With scrying, if we are sensitive enough, we can often feel the Demon touch us if he/she chooses to do so.
Tangible contact; objects in our rooms are moved, there is actual physical evidence of the Demon having been present.

There are accounts in popular books concerning extremely powerful energies encountered when evoking a Demon. To my knowledge, no one using the methods outlined on this website has ever experienced anything negative or overwhelming. I have invoked Demons many times (see Invocation & Evocation (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Evocation.html)) and the energy was never beyond anything I couldn’t handle or in any way uncomfortable.
Methods:
Copy, print out or draw the sigil of the Demon you wish to summon on clean paper. It is important that you be left alone and not disturbed in any way. Close your eyes and visualize the sigil in your mind as best you can. It is ok to open them and look at the sigil again ( as many times as needed) to get a clearer image. While visualizing, recite, or chant the name of the Demon repeatedly either in your mind or aloud.
Recite the following prayer:

Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever. I entreat thee to inspire__________(name of Demon) to manifest before me that he/she may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his/her office. This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father.
The Demon can manifest in different ways.

Through a mirror as in"scrying." (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Black_Mirror.html) You will see the Demon in the mirror.
Through the smoke of the incense
The Demon appears directly, when one is sensitive enough and in a deep meditative state.

Prepare your area. Your first summoning rituals should be performed at night. The reasons for this are the energies are different at night from those during the day and it is easier to be alone and free from distractions. When one has established relationships with certain Demons, it is no longer necessary to perform a formal summoning ritual. The Demon can appear to us night or day and all we need do is concentrate to contact them through telepathy.
You will need:

A quiet place where you will not be disturbed.
Quality incense with a pleasing fragrance. I strongly recommend when working with any new incense to try it out before the actual ritual or summoning as cheap stinking incense is insulting to the spirits and can be embarrassing in any ritual. See INCENSE (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Incense.html)
One or more black or blue candles. Black is choice, but blue is ok for a substitute if you cannot obtain black. Also, if available, the candle color of the specific Demon you wish to summon. (These are listed on this website).
Your paper containing the Demon’s sigil.

When finished with the sigil, find a safe place to store it, preferably in your own black book or journal. ALWAYS treat this paper/sigil with extreme respect and NEVER burn it! The sigil can be reused.
There is no need for a nine-foot circle. Demons *hate* circles and there is no need for a “license to depart” as both are offensive and insulting. Treat the Demons with respect and in turn, you will receive the same.
After the petition to Satan, you should feel his positive energy. This is a good sign and a go-ahead. If for some reason the Demon doesn’t answer, try another time. Many times the Demon does appear, but those who are new to summoning are not psychically open enough or experienced to sense him/her. Most people have had to perform the summoning ritual more than once for the Demon to manifest.
Often, the Demon does answer, but many are not aware. Look for coincidences and things out of the ordinary. Awareness here is everything.
Always offer a token of appreciation and gratitude in return for his/her services. Some ideas are publicity for the Demon, working against Christianity, working to advance Satanism or any service that you both can agree upon.
PLEASE READ THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/FAQ.html) IF YOU ARE NEW!
People ask the same old questions over and over again in the e-groups. Most questions are answered by clicking on the above link and taking the time to read the information.
IF YOU HAVE HAD PROBLEMS IN GETTING A DEMON TO APPEAR AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS AT SUMMONING, CLICK HERE. (http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Summoning.html)
© Copyright 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, Joy of Satan Ministries;
Library of Congress Number: 12-16457


I may indeed follow through on this just to prove back what I already know, there is no such thing as Satan or Demons. That's right. Call me a blasphemer. But you know what this could mean? Without Satan, there could be no God. And I'll be content with that.

[Yoda]

It wouldn't prove anything other than that whoever wrote that is full of crap.

[Dog Star Man]

It wouldn't prove anything other than that whoever wrote that is full of crap.

That too. Hahaha. The flux capacitor seems more probable than this.

[will.15]

Don't try to summon demons when you are off your meds.

[lundy1026]

:eek:

[Dog Star Man]

Don't try to summon demons when you are off your meds.

Now your just making things difficult. Because it's only when I'm off my medications that such things seem possible. In reality, which medications designate me to, I realize no such thing.

[DexterRiley]

Arguably the greatest Devil ever is due to return soon for all you worshippers. (http://wwwc.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/puddy-devils.jpg)



Fitting, since he's french.

You can all blame the french for Duke teams being called the Blue Devils as well fyi.

[Godoggo]

Yea! There is now an ad for satanic jewelry on this site. Now I can get all that devil bling I've always wanted.

[honeykid]

http://www.b3ta.com/features/realnames/

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm trying to get the satanic jewelry ad that Godoggo saw and it just won't come up. I feel like a frustrated woman with an impotent husband.

Honeykid: GAY SEARCH! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. But why are you looking up funny names? Aren't you satisfied just by knowing the name Whoopi Goldberg? No? Maybe you need another picture:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bQ0SqifjNcg/S8-YfxgYdeI/AAAAAAAATrw/x6xPvrBvJK0/s400/whoopi-goldberg-tattoo-2.jpg

[DexterRiley]

Yea! There is now an ad for satanic jewelry on this site. Now I can get all that devil bling I've always wanted.

Coming soon to E!

Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous

:laugh:

[honeykid]

Honeykid: But why are you looking up funny names?
Partly because I have a love of silly/rude/weird/etc names. But, mainly, because I was watching an old episode of HIGNFY and they reminded me of the greatness that is Randy Baumgardener. :rotfl: It's one of the best names I've ever heard. That said, the name/job combo of Lisa Minge, Gynecologist is going to be difficult to beat.

[DexterRiley]

i think SC has a man crush on HK or Whoopi, its hard to tell sometimes.

fingercuffs maybe.

:laugh:

[will.15]

Barry Mycock is a ringer for Stewart Granger.

But what does silly names have to do with worshipping Satan?

Focus, people!


I don't see any satanic jewelery ads, but I do see something I never saw on this forum:


Flirty Chat Room is Open (http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/aclk?sa=L&ai=BpombB3ijToyLGpmmjQSmvIjGDuSFzqAChKiShiPAjbcBgLDqARABGAEg7LX2ATgAUNW35bP5_____wFYnM3-2CJgyd7ohsijkBmyARN3d3cubW92aWVmb3J1bXMuY29tugEJNzI4eDkwX2FzyAEB2gE8aHR0cDovL3d3dy5tb3ZpZWZvcnVtcy5j b20vY29tbXVuaXR5L3Nob3d0aHJlYWQucGhwP3A9Nzc0MDQ3qQL7trWEwoC6PqgDAcgDF-gDzwfoAyLoAyHoA9II9QMACQDAoAYa&num=1&sig=AOD64_2EWUPVVmvpa8fTPFqxycYur17f-g&ctype=21&video_id=O3CmFrSx1R8&client=ca-pub-5749494218316031&adurl=http://www.flirt.com/ppc.php%3Fage%3D3%26country%3Dus%26text%3Dchat%26sc%3Dcontent%26a_bid%3Dca3600f2%26a_aid%3Dfdc6de70% 26ppc_cp%3D5800000036)Find hundreds of great singlesin our chat rooms and get excited



Clearly Satan has heard Sexy Celebrity and his evil is among us!

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4897643310_d0d511c1c3.jpg

He's all ears.

[lundy1026]

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4897643310_d0d511c1c3.jpg

he's all ears.


lmao!!!!

[Deadite]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07dsI6kZjK0

[will.15]

I tried to summon a demon. What I got was:
http://www.celebrityviplounge.com/wp-content/themes/hello/thumb.php?src=http://www.celebrityviplounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/betty_white.jpg&w=628&zc=1&q=80&bid=1 (http://www.celebrityviplounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/betty_white.jpg)

[Sexy Celebrity]

Enjoy.

[Dog Star Man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcgmWrhSg8c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy48BKiB6gI&

(Glen Benton trolls Bob Larson)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HexIlEE95s&

(More Satanic trolling)

[Godoggo]

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4897643310_d0d511c1c3.jpg



Satan is adorable!!!

I swear I saw that jewelry site. It was imosh.com or something.

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsvwezo1hJ1qf5newo1_500.jpg

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuyvmolMAu1qaun7do1_500.jpg

[will.15]

Jayne Mansfield was a devil worshipper?

At a time when most of the nation was still somewhat conservative, she attempted to do all in her power to liberate men and women from the moralities that governed them. Her movies sought to exploit sexuality in new and risqué ways considered perverse in the 50's and 60's. She was one of the first to break the taboo of no nudity in her films, which became the forerunners for the 'swinging sex films' of the 1970's. What few people realize is that Jayne Mansfield was a full-blown Satanist who worshipped the Devil and relied upon his power for her success. Appropriately, her image graces the cover of Satanist Kenneth Anger's Hollywood Babylon, which documents the web of depravity found in the movie industry.
Before becoming a disciple of Anton LaVey (http://goodfight.org/a_co_sataniccults.html), Mansfield held a strong interest in the supernatural. According to May Mann, Mansfield's best friend of 12 years, Mansfield pursued astrology, religious cults, was fascinated with Satanism and the occult, and engaged in bizarre behavior such as wandering around graveyards and cemeteries.
Following an introduction to LaVey's Church of Satan, Mansfield insisted on meeting him. Upon their meeting, Mansfield came to embrace all of the Satanic doctrines, as well as pledged membership to the Church of Satan. Mansfield had a custom pink and black Baphomet medallion made for her, and as an avid promoter of Satanism even wore it to the 1966 San Francisco Film Festival. Mansfield's perseverance and determination within the Church soon escalated her to the position of High Priestess. This honor came with a certificate that she had framed and proudly hung in her bedroom. To compliment her occult studies, she also enveloped herself in witchcraft and black magic.
According to LaVey, Mansfield would plead with him for Satanic blessings and curses, calling him several times a day for blessings on her work. When Jayne's son was seriously wounded, Lavey was sought after and responded by saying “I give you my word, I will do everything in my power.” LaVey said that he called on Satan to save the boy. Jayne again vowed “eternal gratitude” when further complications arose and LaVey was requested to summon Satan for assistance. A ritual was promptly conducted for Satan's blessing.
Jayne's friends all insist that her greatest desire was to be in the movies. As LaVey's disciple, she was encouraged to trust in Satan for her wishes and desires. Eyewitnesses speak of Mansfield's full compliance to evil- “stretching out nude upon the altar of the Black Mass,... opening herself up to the devil,” and “asking LaVey for help in strengthening her career.” More than anything else Mansfield wanted success as a moviestar. LaVey told Mansfield:
“the Devil has supreme power on this earth. If you want anything here, the Devil can give it to you if you join him.”
Mansfield increased her ravenous studies of Satanism. LaVey says:
http://goodfight.org/images/articles_images/video/a_v_mansfield_lavey_1.jpg
“Jayne was very proud of the fact that if she liked something enough, she would commit it to memory. At the time, The Satanic Bible was still in monograph form, and Jayne had poured over those pages until she knew most of it by heart.”
The Satanic Bible has 272 pages! Mansfield told LaVey that Satanism “was the only way of thinking she had ever found meaningful.”
Film critics often commented on Jayne's natural abilities in front of the camera; LaVey however touted her natural abilities as a witch and Satanist. Her onscreen and off screen images were very intertwined. Onscreen she was alluring, voluptuous, and caused men everywhere to drool. The primary focus of the Church of Satan is the destruction of Christianity and it's influence in society. As a Satanist, Mansfield's desire was, as Mae West (http://goodfight.org/a_v_west_mae.html)'s before her, to emancipate mankind from the Biblical concept that sex outside of marriage was sinful. These on and off screen messages through her stories definitely pay homage to her natural abilities as a Satanist. Thus, when Hollywood promoted Mansfield's philosophies, they were really following LaVey's.
Her role as a change agent is very apparent in her movies that were simply the vehicles to promote this freedom type of lifestyle. Her popularity and exposure added to her vast ability to affect so many people. Rules are not curses, as Satanists believe, but rather a blessing. Every driver realizes the importance of red lights when driving. To have a child or a loved one killed in an accident due to another person running a red light would be an incredible loss. However, what if the reason behind that person ran the red light was due to a blatant refusal to be subjected to a stoplight. They did not want to follow a rule, but rather wanted expression of their freedom and individuality. This would constitute a monstrous perversion of normalcy. Sadly, the masses are encountering spiritual wrecks of phenomenal proportions and suffering catastrophic fatalities due to their defiance to submit to Biblical guidance. The Biblical book of Proverbs warn against Mansfield's philosophy of sexual freedom:
“For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is a light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life, To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress.”
Young men and old, know that Satan hates a man who pursues righteous purity before God. He revels when he causes a man to rebel against God through sexual perversion. Mansfield actually sought to bring men to states of perversity by enticing them and whipping their lusts into a frenzied state. LaVey says: “Jayne unabashedly encouraged men to leer at her, to desire her. She reveled in the lusts she evoked in men.” Scripture warns about evil women who are pawns of sin and hunt for those who are pure:
"Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her catch you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot, one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life." –Proverbs 6:25,26
One does not have to be a member of the Church of Satan to be a Satanist. Simply rejecting God's red lights and will for one's life, and following after ones own will deposits that person on Satan's side of the fence. What better way for Satan to instruct and plague the masses with his rebellion than to disseminate it through film to hundreds of millions of people at once? Crowley's axiom of “Do What Thou Will Shall be the Whole of the Law” and his claims that “free sex” would mark the attitudes manifesting themselves in the New Age definitely were advocated by Mansfield. Crowley's liberation of perverted free sex under the Antichrist were echoed by Mansfield:
“'I love sex...It should be animalistic, it should be sadistic, it should at times even be masochistic...There are few rules and moral conventions.' ”
While Mansfield triumphed in her liberation of sex, in reality she was delivering them over to bondage; the Scriptures say sin "burns like a fire" and "leads to death." In order to bring people into bondage, sin first has to be dressed up to appear enticing enough to pursue and surrender to. Apropos, her New York critics said of her: "She sold sex better than any performer in the world." Their implication is that this transaction of antibiblical liberating messages occurred on the screen.
LaVey states concerning the purpose of the members of the Church of Satan:
“The idea is to free peoples minds and send them out among others...magicians who are working advanced Black Magic and influencing the outside world.”
Her seductions effectively lured the masses and even best friend May Mann named her as a “sorceress.”
For Mansfield's millions of fans, her ultimate diabolical aims were indoctrination into Satanism through discarding Biblical principles. Jayne loved talking about Satanism and would attempt to proselytize others by reciting the works of various occultists, and in the words of LaVey, give his philosophies “huge build ups.” Jayne would telephone constantly to put people in touch with LaVey desiring that they too would adopt “the merits of Satanism.” LaVey says:
“They'd call from their table in a restaurant after they finished dinner. Before they got on the phone she'd give them a big build up: 'This fellow is very big here, Anton, very influential. He can do you a lot of good. I've told him all about you...here he is now.' I'd find myself giving a spontaneous lecture about Satanism and what I was doing.” Of her efforts to convert society he says “She was very zealous, to say the least.”
The power that she wielded as an actress and her influence on the acceptance of immorality was enormous. Mansfield said:
“My career is moving in a sensitive direction. I'm going to do a movie in which I portray three parts: a prostitute, a cripple, and a pregnant mother.”
One would think that women would fill with hatred and jealousy over Mansfield's ability to captivate men. Not so. The awe and reverence steadily continued primarily from them. In spite of Mansfield commonly asking women if “she could play with their husbands,” women worshipped her. According to May Mann, Jayne said: “[Women] would come up crying and kissing my skirt, and they line the roads to say hello.” Mansfield's satanic practices catapulted her into the limelight as an exemplary role model to these innocent young women.
http://goodfight.org/images/articles_images/video/a_v_mansfield_jayne_2.jpg
In the 1950's and 60's pornography was considered seedy and irreverent. Mansfield's pictures appeared in Playboy magazine on several occasions and helped increase it's exposure to mainstream America. Playboy single-handedly owes her for getting them “out of the backhouse and into the house.” Her issues were not only the biggest sellers in Playboy history but sellouts as well. Playboy acknowledges her influence on liberating women from the wisdom of modest dressing.
“No capital in the world is more cunning at playing peekaboo with the human body (female) than our film capital.... The recent wave of 'nudie' movies, however, has injected a breath of fresh air upon the scene. Their unpretentious nakedness and their wide public acceptance have helped push bodices down and hemlines up (to where they virtually vanish) in otherwise 'straight' productions. It is therefore fitting and proper that the trail from 'nudie' to 'straight' be blazed by none other than the undisputed of in-the-altogether brinkmanship, Miss Jayne Mansfield. Jayne now proudly heads the scant list of authentic Hollywood heroines whose feats of baring do go beyond the call of duty.”
Hugh Hefner, wanting to justify his pornographic pictures, downplays their seriousness by comparing them to the movies, saying “The pictures of Jayne in the June issue are in our opinion, simply candid photographs of a movie in the making.” The message: that if it's acceptable in a movie then it has to be OK.
Hugh Hefner admitted that his Playboy Philosophy was primarily based on the work of Dr. Alfred Kinsey's Sexuality Reports. These reports were falsified to advocate perverted sexual practices as normalcy. Dr. Kinsey was also a strong admirer of Aleister Crowley (http://theater.goodfight.org/?vdId=Aleister_Crowley) and included Crowley's practices in his reports. To a Satanist, the promotion of the Playboy philosophy was critical in numbing the conscience of society to the evils of pornography (http://goodfight.org/a_v_hollywoodandpornography.html) by advocating a 'Do What Thou Wilt' mindset. Mansfield vigorously pursued this course:
“I have just finished reading the October installment of The Playboy Philosophy. ...I strongly support you in your efforts...and in your championing each individuals right to make up his own mind.”
http://goodfight.org/images/articles_images/video/a_v_mansfield_jayne_5.jpg
Sadly, the moral decline of our country in the 1960's was primarily facilitated by Hollywood's elite who through movie messages and active personal lives, set the trend for immorality among hundred of millions of people, thereby destroying families, marriages, and all things sacred. Sin leads to destruction. If you sow to the wind the Scriptures say that you will reap the whirlwind. How is it that individuals, possibly you, can be at ease with a moviestar who is wiping out real people with real lives by their movies and example. If you are honest, there has very likely been some moviestar or member of the Hollywood elite whom you have admired, their making an impression on you in some way. Does that person know your name? Do they care about you? Do they desire you to have eternal life with the Creator of the Universe? When have they spoke of mans sin and separation from God because of it? That the only way to bridge the gap to God is through His Son Jesus Christ through faith in His death, burial and resurrection? That those who refuse God's grace await a fiery eternity separated from God? There is nothing more important than eternal life, and those who lead people away from understanding that reality are simply pawns that are deceiving and being deceived. Hollywood does not care about your soul. Do not sow to his deceptions.
Christians are called to be separate from the world, set apart for holiness as lights and salt in the world. Jesus said:
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how will it be made salty again? It is good for nothing anymore, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men." –Matthew 5:13
Television and motion pictures are designed to send messages that annihilate and tear the truth of the Scriptures from mankind's hearts- thus subjecting them to a process of becoming tasteless. Adolf Hitler, the master of manipulative messages wrote in Mein Kampf:
“In every really great world shaking movement, propaganda will first have to spread the idea of this movement. Thus, it will indefatigably attempt to make the new thought processes clear to the others, and therefore to draw them over to their own ground, or to make them uncertain of their previous conviction.” MK583
While the world eagerly gobbles the Hollywood messages of propaganda up, Christians will do well to remember that they are to be transformed by the renewing power of the Holy Spirit and abstain from the conforming power of the world.
http://goodfight.org/images/articles_images/video/a_v_mansfield_lavey_2.jpg
Due to a hatred that Jayne developed for her lover, Sam Brody, Mansfield pleaded with LaVey to conduct a ritual of destruction against him. LaVey complied by writing Brody's name on a piece of parchment and burning it in the fire. As the parchment was consumed LaVey invoked Satan's powers requesting Brody's death within one years time. In The Satanic Bible LaVey issues dictums for placing curses on others to bring about their death and concludes by saying: “and if your curse provokes their actual annihilation, rejoice that you have been instrumental ridding the world of a pest!” LaVey's personal administrator and assistant Blanche Barton comments “No simple undirected curse would do this time. LaVey would only be satisfied when Brody was dead.” Mansfield states:
“Mr. LaVey called me into the back room. There, he told me, 'The Devil has placed a curse on Sam Brody. There is a heavy black cloud over him...He'll be killed in a car crash...Get rid of him at once!'”
Scripture says that Satan has been a murderer "from the beginning." (1 John 3:8 ) Jesus said that Satan's modus operandi was to "steal, kill and destroy." (John 10:10 ) Satan is evil to the core and his hatred seethes against mankind, even those who serve him. There is no love or favor in Satan's kingdom, but a contemptible usage of people who open themselves up to him. Mansfield served Satan, but he hated and despised her. She was only a pawn to further his agenda of worldwide spiritual enslavement under the New Age.
http://goodfight.org/images/articles_images/video/a_v_mansfield_jayne_6.jpg
Mansfield's trust in Satan proved illegitimate as it cost her her life. The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes says "that those who practice evil will not be delivered by it." Within a few months, Brody lay dead in a catastrophic car accident. Mansfield was also killed in the crash, and according to her death certificate, suffered a "crushed skull and avulsion (tearing away) of cranium and brain." Her death was tragic and sudden. Ironically, LaVey reported that 15 minutes before he heard of the accident that he had cut Jayne Mansfield's head off of a picture with a pair of scissors. Mansfield had truly run her last spiritual red light and the Scripture stating that God will not be mocked came into effect. God's Word states that your sin will find you out and that those who sow to the flesh will reap destruction.
By placing her trust in Satan, she was deluded into believing that she would have power, success, and protection. Instead, when Satan was done using her to manipulate millions, he threw her away like trash. In spite of her proclamations that Satan was mankind's “best friend,” he truly was and is friend to none.

[Deadite]

tl;dr

http://blogs.trb.com/entertainment/news/gambling/blog/satan.jpg

[Deadite]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl4dEAtxo0M

[Sexy Celebrity]

Will, I hate it when you post lengthy articles you find on the internet. All that reading that isn't even something you wrote -- I'm not gonna read all that! Plus, it takes up so much space. That's one thing that I think is even worse than Dexter and his Youtube video obsession.

[Deadite]

If it can't be said in a pic, it doesn't need to be said!

http://clutch.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/tumblr_lfba9jraen1qzozj1.gif

[will.15]

You don't think it is interesting Jayne Mansfield sold her soul literally to the devil (the article is serious) and got naked for Satan in some rituals or something? She should have read the fine print of that contract, promised super stardom and her career except briefly was mostly B movies and her career was practically dead when she died. If Jayne really was a Satanist she was a stupid one.

[DexterRiley]

Will, I hate it when you post lengthy articles you find on the internet. All that reading that isn't even something you wrote -- I'm not gonna read all that! Plus, it takes up so much space. That's one thing that I think is even worse than Dexter and his Youtube video obsession.

that stings, and is whollly unwarranted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXAIf9gPVHI

[will.15]

I looked in this futher and it looks like Jayne being a publicity whore (we all kmow that) took some pictures with the Church of Satan leader, but wasn't a Satanist.

There are pictures of Mansfield sitting with Sophia Loren and Loren is looking at her with hate and the reason, Mansfield as a publicity stunt sat at Loren's table uninvited to get her picture taken with her.

Satan made her do it.
http://www.rafaelcastillejo.com/cine/glamour01/loren-mansfiel.jpg

[DexterRiley]

I'm waiting for a pro athlete to win some championship, and when handed the mic, say " first off, none of this would be possible without my lord and Savior Beezlebub"

if only for the stunned expression on the sideline reporters face.

it would be, in a word, epic.

[Sexy Celebrity]

that stings, and is whollly unwarranted.

Didn't intend for it to sting, but I am a Scorpio.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsv6gruY8d1qg39ewo1_500.gif

[will.15]

Didn't intend for it to sting, but I am a Scorpio.


(http://charlesmansonatwar.tumblr.com/day/2011/05/23)
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llnmdbHGIP1qfqe2oo1_500.jpg (http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/5768178324/1/tumblr_llnmdbHGIP1qfqe2o)
“I’m spiritually allied with the scorpion and the wolf. Spiritualism scares you people because you got this little stereotype church that you’re buying and selling and you’re trying to put God in a building. God is much bigger than that little church. Spiritualism is a lot more than they put in libraries and books. I’m allied with certain awarenesses of the desert.”
— Charles Manson, 1986

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, yes, Charles Manson is a Scorpio, too. His birthday is two days before mine.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Also, guess who's birthday is THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY.

http://www.insoonia.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Whoopi-Goldberg.jpg

Yes - that's right, Honeykid. And it's coming up.

That's three days of birthday terror -- Charles, Whoopi, Sexy.

Nature is cruel.

[Godoggo]

There are pictures of Mansfield sitting with Sophia Loren and Loren is looking at her with hate and the reason, Mansfield as a publicity stunt sat at Loren's table uninvited to get her picture taken with her.

Satan made her do it.
http://www.rafaelcastillejo.com/cine/glamour01/loren-mansfiel.jpg


Sophia's looking at Manfield's boobs about to pop out of her dress.

I like articles on old Hollywood. Mansfield is one of the more interesting characters.

[will.15]

Also, guess who's birthday is THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY.

http://www.insoonia.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Whoopi-Goldberg.jpg

Yes - that's right, Honeykid. And it's coming up.

That's three days of birthday terror -- Charles, Whoopi, Sexy.

Nature is cruel.
Ugh!

Here is another Scorpio, two days after my birthday.
EnjoyTheFacts (http://www.fark.com/users/EnjoyTheFacts) 2009-03-17 06:36:05 PM (http://www.fark.com/comments/4272994/49580254#c49580254)
http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z222/A5204/bo_derek_gallery_main-1.jpg

And born the same day as Derek, but much earlier.
VERONICA HAMELhttp://www.mysticgames.com/famouspeople/pictures/VeronicaHamel.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

Will, are you a Scorpio?

Anyway, Satan sent this to me about an hour ago:

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=7658&stc=1&d=1319417674

Some pic of Drew Barrymore standing on what looks like a beach while Whoopi Goldberg stands menacingly in the background. Interesting, eh?

[will.15]

Will, are you a Scorpio?

Anyway, Satan sent this to me about an hour ago:


You must have the memory of a mop. I told you a while back I was and we had a back and forth about it.

Here is who I share a birthday with, same year also. A lot of them Scorpios are creepy looking with weird ass eyes. Even Veronica Hamel is a bit spooky in an attractive way.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rqF7f1uUVE0/SNMfkeJ-qRI/AAAAAAAACXQ/Qp8pNuK7STY/s320/ALAN_MOORE.jpg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rqF7f1uUVE0/SNMfkeJ-qRI/AAAAAAAACXQ/Qp8pNuK7STY/s1600-h/ALAN_MOORE.jpg)

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't even know who that is.... ???

Your birthday must be November 18th. Four days after me. That's cool. I don't remember that discussion we had at all.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I share my birthday with DexterRiley's favorite guy:

http://images3.cliqueclack.com/tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/patrick_warburton.jpg

[Dog Star Man]

I did what Will said, and summoned a demon, in my mind I heard this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYrkQL1bX4A

Apparently I didn't summon by the book.

[will.15]

That was Alan Moore, America's favorite British comic book writer (The Watchmen).

[TheMightyCelestial]

Hey, I met Alan Moore at a comicbook convention once.
I was there displaying my own artwork,
& here's one of my drawings that he liked:

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj38/themightycelestial/MyArtwork/FotoFlexer_Photo-33.jpg

Coincidence?

[honeykid]

That's three days of birthday terror -- Charles, Whoopi, Sexy.
Only one of those is a day of terror and it ain't you or Charlie boy.

[Deadite]

I did what Will said, and summoned a demon, in my mind I heard this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYrkQL1bX4A

Apparently I didn't summon by the book.

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/195817_211465515540595_5154334_n.jpg

[Brodinski]

Seeing as trolling is appreciated in this thread:

http://www.craized.com/photos/315.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

Adam and Eve had the Devil appearing as a snake.

Today's current generation has...

http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/11887829229/1/tumblr_ltlisiuslz1qcj24d

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lswoo9I5BB1r1g3ldo1_500.jpg

Although, I'm aware that this is the sect of Satanism that doesn't actually worship a being called the Devil. It's still creepy, though.

[will.15]

I love how all these satanist leaders look like Satan.

[ollanik]

I want to comment here,but i dont know what to say. :)

[Sexy Celebrity]

Say... "HAIL SATAN!" :)

[Monkeypunch]

I think that the first step in becoming a devil worshiper is to start worshiping the devil...pretty simple.

http://warriorwriters.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/devil.jpg

Hail Satan!

LOL.

[ollanik]

Heaven is nice,but in hell is a team.

[will.15]

I found another celebrity who belonged to the Church of Satan (maybe)... Sammy Davis Junior!

[Tyler1]

Say... "HAIL SATAN!" :)


Hail Satana.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Tg2NDh71eis/TDjpGn3Co3I/AAAAAAAAAJk/kWPxenNbmWQ/s1600/Altered-States.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTbRQBb7cog

[honeykid]

http://www.boulevardmovies.com/images/P/satan-hates-you.jpg
:yup:

[quint]

Have you tried looking for a "Devil Worshipping For Dummies" book? I bet that'd be useful.

[Deadite]

Thread completed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

[mark f]

I admit that I didn't read the entire thread, and I honestly have no clue why I'm posting this (and you'll hate me now that I did), but the easiest way to become a devil worshipper is to just think you're better than everybody else and deserve every single thing you want. Oh *****, I'm a Devil Worshipper too!

[Tripod]

While we're on the subject, does anyone hate how heavy-metal music is often associated with Devil worshipping? I remember Marilyn Manson was interviewed once regarding the whole Columbine shooting and how he was one of the influences to it because the shooters alledgedly listened to him. He simply said that he makes rock music for a living and raised points regarding the oversea bombing that happened during Bush's presidency. In general, I just hate how heavy-metal/Gothic-esque type of music is associated with being devoted to the Antichrist and how it's shunned for being a bad influence. These musicians have a level of intelligence to them and they aren't all brainwashed bad influences in the rock biz as people make them out to be.

#my2cents

[honeykid]

I admit that I didn't read the entire thread, and I honestly have no clue why I'm posting this (and you'll hate me now that I did), but the easiest way to become a devil worshipper is to just think you're better than everybody else and deserve every single thing you want. Oh *****, I'm a Devil Worshipper too!
I thought that was how to spot an Englishman. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, look, it's Honeykid.

http://www.thoushaltnotcovet.com/want/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/disney-annie10.jpg

[Tripod]

Oh, look, it's Honeykid.

http://www.thoushaltnotcovet.com/want/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/disney-annie10.jpg

I take your Queen Latifah on a cloud, and raise you one Katy Perry on a cloud.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/musicnetwork/assets/2527/katy-perry-video-cloud_normal.jpg

[will.15]

While we're on the subject, does anyone hate how heavy-metal music is often associated with Devil worshipping? I remember Marilyn Manson was interviewed once regarding the whole Columbine shooting and how he was one of the influences to it because the shooters alledgedly listened to him. He simply said that he makes rock music for a living and raised points regarding the oversea bombing that happened during Bush's presidency. In general, I just hate how heavy-metal/Gothic-esque type of music is associated with being devoted to the Antichrist and how it's shunned for being a bad influence. These musicians have a level of intelligence to them and they aren't all brainwashed bad influences in the rock biz as people make them out to be.

#my2cents
All I know is when I was trying to find devil worshipping songs for this thread it is all heavy metal. Those country music people don't seem much interested in singing about the virtues of Satin. It is all boring stuff like God, country, and liquor. Okay, the liquor part is okay.

[mark f]

While we're on the subject, does anyone hate how heavy-metal music is often associated with Devil worshipping? I remember Marilyn Manson was interviewed once regarding the whole Columbine shooting and how he was one of the influences to it because the shooters alledgedly listened to him. He simply said that he makes rock music for a living and raised points regarding the oversea bombing that happened during Bush's presidency. In general, I just hate how heavy-metal/Gothic-esque type of music is associated with being devoted to the Antichrist and how it's shunned for being a bad influence. These musicians have a level of intelligence to them and they aren't all brainwashed bad influences in the rock biz as people make them out to be.

#my2cents

Of course, those bands are society's scapegoat. The average City Council Meeting has far more threats to Society than any Metal Band. The problem with city council meetings is that the council will do whatever they want unless somebody tries to play chess with them and get them in a stalemate. It's just such a pain in the ass that so many destructive things happen automatically "under the radar". I guess that means I should go to my boring city council meetings and get arrested trying to stop them from doing "their duty".

[wintertriangles]

I'm glad that was brought up^^^

Also, just for the record, every metal band I've met has been super nice. Even the actual Satanists, of which there are few.

[DexterRiley]

While we're on the subject, does anyone hate how heavy-metal music is often associated with Devil worshipping? I remember Marilyn Manson was interviewed once regarding the whole Columbine shooting and how he was one of the influences to it because the shooters alledgedly listened to him. He simply said that he makes rock music for a living and raised points regarding the oversea bombing that happened during Bush's presidency. In general, I just hate how heavy-metal/Gothic-esque type of music is associated with being devoted to the Antichrist and how it's shunned for being a bad influence. These musicians have a level of intelligence to them and they aren't all brainwashed bad influences in the rock biz as people make them out to be.

#my2cents

just a small correction, it was Clinton that was in the Whitehouse that bombed teh crap out of somebody during the Columbine thingy.

Also Tripod, this happened before your time, but i think you'll get a kick out of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FbBpvoYKpc&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLAE184D9E67E36AFE

[Sexy Celebrity]

God, those rockers in the 80's sure knew how to look stupid and sexy at the same time. Dee Snider looks like a blonde poodle woman there, yet I totally feel his erotic, masculine presence. WHY don't guys like that exist anymore? Guys in their 20's, 30's, not these guys who are now in their 50's and 60's.

[Godoggo]

All I know is when I was trying to find devil worshipping songs for this thread it is all heavy metal. Those country music people don't seem much interested in singing about the virtues of Satin. It is all boring stuff like God, country, and liquor. Okay, the liquor part is okay.

Well Charlie doesn't actually sing the virtues of Satan but he does make him out to be a mean fiddle player. I don't care how the song goes, Satan kicks Johnny's a**.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrnsiQu2soI&feature=related

[DexterRiley]

sort of a companion tune to ^^

terriffic storyified song by Chris de Burgh (it pains me to no end that he is best known for the craptastic lady in red)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnaUvPoiTfQ

[AdamKane]

You become a devil worshiper by worshiping the devil. It seems pretty simple. :P

[TheMightyCelestial]

Okay okay,
we've had several replies commenting on how easy it is to become a devil-worshipper.
The truth is, it takes alot to become a gosh-honest Fallen Angel Follower.
You can't just do stuff like listen to speed metal music & wear extra skinny emo-jeans.
You really have to commit your whole life to it.
The best way to gage if you're a true devil worshipper or not is try & evaluate how people will remember you after you die.
If most who know you will eulogize your memory with statements like "Oh, sure, he/she was often misunderstood b'cuz of their dabblings into the dark arts, but the truth is, we all know that deep down inside, he/she was a good person.".
For any soul wishing to cross over the river Styx, that kind of remembrancial* prose always converts into tokens with an insufficient value when submitted to the Tartarusical* turnstile located at Hades' gate.
No, if you really want the Lyin' King (Satan) to grant you entry into his realm o' sulfur & brimstone, you have to live the kind of life that will make even the Pope respond to your demise with "Oh good. Now he's/she's roasting in Hell."
Worshipping the devil isn't just idolizing a golden calf or sodomizing the neighbor's cat or reading KISS comicbooks in which each band member's blood was mixed in with the red ink. It's much much more than that. It's a lifestyle.

*Yes, these are terms that do not actually exist in the English language. They are words that I bastardized in order to get my point across. It's just one of things that I do to prove that my membership card as one of Lucifer's Legion is legit.
I'll see y'all in Hell.

[Sexy Celebrity]

If most who know you will eulogize your memory with statements like "Oh, sure, he/she was often misunderstood b'cuz of their dabblings into the dark arts, but the truth is, we all know that deep down inside, he/she was a good person.".
For any soul wishing to cross over the river Styx, that kind of remembrancial* prose always converts into tokens with an insufficient value when submitted to the Tartarusical* turnstile located at Hades' gate.
No, if you really want the Lyin' King (Satan) to grant you entry into his realm o' sulfur & brimstone, you have to live the kind of life that will make even the Pope respond to your demise with "Oh good. Now he's/she's roasting in Hell."
Worshipping the devil isn't just idolizing a golden calf or sodomizing the neighbor's cat or reading KISS comicbooks in which each band member's blood was mixed in with the red ink. It's much much more than that. It's a lifestyle.

I was wondering about this in my first post. I wondered if it was possible that you could be a devil worshipper, but something happens when you die and God takes you to Heaven anyway. The ultimate f**k up.

[will.15]

It coukd happen according to Christianity. If you on your last breath say "I repent for my sins, I accept Jesus Christ as my savior," then you have a ticket to Heaven. But is Hell such a bad place? Sure, it is hot, but all the fun places are hot like Vegas and Palm Springs. Hell is a happening place, it is exciting. Heaven is boring with its winged angels playing the harp. Who wants to listen to the harp? That was the worse thing about those Marx Brothers movies, Harpo and his harp. At least Chico could swing a little with the piano. They have electric guitars in Hell. That hillbilly song shows Satan plays a mean fiddle. If you are a music fan Hell is where its at.

[Sexy Celebrity]

But you're supposed to burn forever in fire in Hell. That's totally different than being out in the heat.

I actually like the harp. Besides, Will, what if the angels are sexy ladies? What if I get a Jake Gyllenhaal playing a harp in Heaven? That's a hell of a lot better than Vegas in Hell.

[will.15]

You know what I think? If you use sun block, you won't burn in Hell, just get a nice tan. There are no sexy ladies in heaven. They all have committed sins. The only women in heaven are nuns and elderly virgins.

[wintertriangles]

The bible NEVER mentions anything about hell other than that there's fire there. No one knows if it's even a bad place. No one even knows if Satan wrote the bible, if he's such a trickster.

[honeykid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRHetRTOD1Q&ob=av3n

[will.15]

Come back to the devil thread, SC. No one gets upset here except that Mutant X guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

With pleasure.

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltpiqlwRm21qc7h37o1_500.jpg

[Godoggo]

I'm fairly certain this chicken worships Satan.

http://i1039.photobucket.com/albums/a476/ashafer_bucket/evilChicken.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltp7f56z2L1qzy9z2o1_500.gif

[honeykid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWwtMrDX2o8&ob=av3n

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltqt9rEeco1r2vomto1_500.png

[will.15]

Satan loves McRibs.

Jesus is a vegetarian.

[DexterRiley]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egDJc1HhiZ4

[honeykid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhTMAT8zhO8

[honeykid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI1RIZlTzdo&feature=related

[honeykid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz2fS2klbQ&feature=related

[Deadite]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cku497rURF8

[will.15]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smOal2eJ5TM&feature=related

[will.15]

Hail, Santa!


The Devil Is In Your Chimney! Is Santa Claus, Satan?
A Special True Christian™ Report Concerning the Origin of Santa Claus

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/satana.jpg
Freehold, Iowa - Satan's evil plan has created jobs for hundreds of thousands of old lecherous pedophiles throughout this Godly country every December. These filthy homeless hobos just lay on their urine-stained cardboard beds 11 months out of the year, dreaming of Christmas when they can drunkenly traipse into the warmth of departments stores and have innocent little Christian children sit on their vermin-infested laps. Unwary parents happily snap pictures while Satan's obesely wheezing drunks ask their children whether they've been "bad" and whisper lewd suggestions in their angelic little ears with their filthy booze-breath and cigarette-discolored lips. How many unsuspecting tots have suffered a quick grope before Satan's little helper moves on to the next hopeful child in line?

People think that Halloween is the time of year that Satan dresses up, but this is just flat-out wrong. See? The Devil will always try to fool you! Halloween is when Satan delights in watching humans dress in ways that will ensure them entry into the Devil's realm. But it is Christmas time that the Devil saves for himself! (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/subjectarchive/christmas.html) It is then when he puts on his most devious costume! And it takes no Sherlock Holmes to see that the Devil's annual disguise is none other than Santa! He even wears his favorite color -- demon red. Even his last name, "Claus," is Olde English for "hoof-claws." Lucifer may be the wiliest of all the deceitful demons that ever drew breath of fire in Hell, but he was pretty sloppy when he decided to try to spoil our Savior's birthday with this disguise. His big devil ego got the better of him when he decided to name his Christmas Anti-Christ after himself. He just moved around the letters in the name, "Satan," into one of them sonograms and got "Santa." Well, this is to put the Prince of Darkness on notice: We are on to you Satan! And we unmask you and heartily rebuke you! Get thee hence from our Christ's birthday party!
Satan once was God's favorite angel. But he tried a heavenly coup and God should have by all rights killed him right then and there. But God, being all that is good, gave him his very own place to rule and called it Hell. And even though God gave Satan free reign to tempt as many people as he wanted (even Christ Himself!) and lots of fabulous stuff to tempt them with (like eternal youth and Lincoln Continentals), Satan was still not satisfied. It made him jealous that Americans have made Christmas the most important retail event of the year, far overshadowing Satan's own holiday, Halloween (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/subjectarchive/halloween.html). So Satan has tried to undermine Christmas by making Santa even more popular than Jesus!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santa4.gif
You don't think so? Even the law of the land forbids a baby Jesus in the town square, but who is there instead? You guessed it! Santa! Every time a so-called Christian child asks Santa for something, he is praying to Satan. With each request fulfilled, parents are unwittingly making a pact with the Devil. They may as well be writing in blood, "Satan please distract our children from Jesus with all these shiny toys!" But you know what? When your little boys and girls have grown up and no longer believe that Santa is real, they will find out just how real Satan is when he comes to collect their souls in exchange for all those presents! And God will turn a deaf ear to their pathetic wails of desperation. God will say, "You were more interested in that fat demon who was giving you presents than my Son who was giving you salvation, so you can all rot in Hell for all I care!" So talk to your children before it is too late! Tell them that Santa is no kindly old man; he is an evil demon. And next time your family sees some propped up gin-soaked vagrant in a Mall wearing a red suit with white furry cuffs, set a good example and witness for the other deluded people waiting in line. Loudly, rebuke him! Announce to all the children in the store "Not only is Santa a lie, he will ravage you sexually, drink your blood and drag your palpating carcasses down to Hell with him!" It is only through setting a good example that we can put the Christ back in Christmas.

[Sir Toose]

After 8 pages this still seems a thread I should avoid :)

So I'll just take this opportunity to say hello to SC and inquire... how goes your journey into darkness?


Edit:

By the by, in light of the holiday season I thought I'd share a tidbit from Disinfo (every Satanists favorite news source). According to Disinfo, if you shop at The Gap, Office Depot, Staples, Radio Shack, Foot Locker (to name a few) this season... you're automatically damned. You don't get a trial like Daniel Webster either, it's just straight down the pipe for you. HERE's (http://disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/christmas.jpg) the proof.

Use it wisely.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Thanks for that info, Master Satan. I'm all ready for Christmas now.