Deadite reviews: [Archive]

Deadite

06-03-11, 01:15 PM

Whiteout

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6d/Whiteout_poster.jpg

Alrighty then. First review (INCLUDES SOME SPOILERS).

So I watched Whiteout. I'd seen the trailer awhile back, thought that it looked like a cool idea (no pun intended), and then forgot about it until recently.

After finishing the film, I must say I'm very disappointed. Visually, the film is nice to look at, with some gorgeous scenery, although too reliant on CGI.

The real problem is the plot. To put it bluntly, it's DOA. Dead on arrival. That may be because the opening scene pretty much sucks most of the mystery out of the movie, and instead of leaving this viewer intrigued, I became bored waiting for the story to unfold past the expected discovery of the plane.

Kate Beckinsale plays a U. S. Marshal stationed at a Antarctic research base. Through the SUBTLE USE OF FLASHBACKS, we gradually discovered she has been traumatized by past betrayal. This naturally leads the viewer to suspect she might, just might probably definitely will be betrayed again at some point in the film.

I don't want to diss on Beckinsale too much here because she has a nice ass and I liked seeing her bent over in her little white panties... but her performance was pretty stiff, stiffer than me during her shower scene.

http://blastr.com/assets_c/2009/09/WhiteoutShowerScene-thumb-550x257-23948.jpg
Pictured: Kate Beckinsale acting.

Sorry bout that last paragraph. :D

All of the performances were stiff, nearly lifeless in fact, and the only relationship in the film that even approached the convincingly human was between Beckinsale and Tom Skerrit (an actor I rather like), who plays the base doctor.

http://0.tqn.com/d/horror/1/0/c/4/0/-/Whiteout11.jpg
"This won't affect my acting career, will it, Doc?"

The best scene in the whole movie involved Beckinsale's frostbitten fingers, but even then she seemed slightly less upset than I think I would have been at losing two of my fingers, and I'm a fairly stoic dude. :eek:

The director, Dominic Sena, strives for a claustrophobic feel, mainly by using too many close-ups from obtuse angles, yet for an isolated research station, this place is jumpin.

Not to tell anyone how to do their job, but I can't help but think the movie would have been better served by the removal of the opening plane scene. In fact, given the hackneyed flashbacks throughout, I don't see why the opening scene was not used only as a flashback during the plane discovery scene. It might have helped preserve some interest earlier on if the beginning had focused more on the characters and had then introduced us to the main plot via their discovery of the first body.

Oh well.

The dialogue is dull as rock, consisting of actors repeating the obvious, for the benefit (one supposes) of the sight-impaired.

The action scenes are limp. Partly because I just didn't care for these cardboard characters, and partly because the whole thing is so darn cliche. Watching the killer try to slice up Beckinsale with his ice axe, I wondered if the movie secretly aspired to be a slasher film.

http://www.alexoloughlinonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/whiteout-exclusive-pic-4.jpg
All your base are belong to us.

Anyways, the whole thing drags on until the unshocking nonrevelation at the end, and not soon enough.

Rating: 3/10

honeykid

06-03-11, 04:07 PM

Deadite

06-03-11, 05:41 PM

Thanks! :)

Yoda

06-03-11, 05:41 PM

I'll echo that; I like the style. We've got plenty of stuffier "formal" reviews from folks like me, so I'm always glad when someone takes a different tack, so we can all different types of reviews. Keep it up! :)

rauldc14

06-03-11, 05:47 PM

Love the review, Deadite. Keep 'em coming. :)

Of course, I could've told you this would suck because it stars Kate Beckinsale and, with few exceptions, her films always do. This also applies to Samuel L. Jackson, post 2000.

With the exception of Click (ok not the best film but at least a fun watch) and Everybody's Fine.

Sexy Celebrity

06-03-11, 06:44 PM

I have been meaning to watch Everybody's Fine. It has my man, Robert De Niro, in it.

honeykid

06-03-11, 07:16 PM

You should take a look at it, SC, though I warn you that the only person that has any chemistry with De Niro is Drew. I know you'd expect that from me, but that's what my friends tell me.

I liked it and I think it's good, but there's not enough Drew, as she (along with De Niro) really kick it up a notch. Even Sam Rockwell seems to be under-par. :(

TheUsualSuspect

06-04-11, 03:14 AM

Whiteout is indeed some terrible terrible garbage.

Harry Lime

06-04-11, 03:31 AM

Pretty stiff...Limp...Kate Beckinsale's ass in little white panties...

This guy's kinda funny. Although, I have been toying with the thought that you're another regular member. Probably not, but still... Anyway, keep it up (get it?) and I'll keep reading and repping your reviews.

Deadite

06-04-11, 05:55 AM

The Prestige

06-04-11, 09:06 AM

That was a funny yet solid review :D. Frankly, I was NEVER planning on seeing this unless I happened to be drunk while it plays on telly, but now I don't even think that could do it for me. Although Beckinsale. In a shower..

Plainview

06-04-11, 12:50 PM

Deadite

06-04-11, 06:22 PM

Glad you enjoyed, guys. If anyone has any review suggestions, I'll consider them. I kind of like flaming bad flicks.

Man oh man, there is no way my next review will live up to this one.

Pressure!

honeykid

06-04-11, 08:39 PM

Thanks, I specialize in c**k metaphors.
C**k Metaphors sounds like a trendy gay nightclub.

Glad you enjoyed, guys. If anyone has any review suggestions, I'll consider them. I kind of like flaming bad flicks.

I recommend Showgirls. :D

mark f

06-04-11, 09:14 PM

Yes, but remember, it's not really bad.

Deadite

06-05-11, 04:10 AM

What, why Showgirls, it is awesome??

Brodinski

06-05-11, 08:52 AM

Deadite

06-06-11, 02:41 AM

Predators

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/Predators_54632_glg.jpg

So, here we have the new film in the Predator series. I have to say, I'm not especially impressed.

However, I'm not exactly disappointed either. The film succeeds modestly well at giving fans what they expect, and there are some nice surprises to keep it from becoming too formulaic.

I'm not much for plot description because readers can find out that stuff just by doing a simple online search themselves (besides, this film's story is well-known anyway), so I will focus on what I consider to be some of the strengths and weaknesses of the film.

My biggest problem with the film is the miscasting of Adrien Brody as Royce, the merc leader of the survivors. He simply does not belong in this movie. Though I respect him as an actor from his work in films like The Pianist, I just could not suspend disbelief and accept him as some badass mercenary type.

http://webchaser.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/AdrienBrodyPredators2010.jpg
"Christ, this thing is heavy."

Perhaps he was meant to bring some added depth and credibility to the film, but I think the part would have been better suited to a more rugged actor, such as Jason Statham. Brody is a fine actor, but he's a bit scrawny and sensitive-looking to pull off this kind of role.

Other performances range from adequate to surprisingly good. In particular, Laurence Fishburne as a soldier suffering from PTSD, which was amusing although slightly over-the-top. The other performance I enjoyed was Topher Grace as a seemingly benign doctor who isn't as out of place amongst these professional killers as he first appears.

http://reelthinker.com/images/posts/2010/07/predators-adrien-brody_01.jpg
"I reckon that's one for the wall."

The film looks decent, although somewhat bland. The director, Nimrod Antal, doesn't really take advantage of the jungle setting or try to differentiate environments within the story. For a supposed alien world, there is nothing memorable whatsoever about the scenery.

The action sequences in the film are fairly well-done if not spectacular or numerous, and I managed to keep interest throughout despite their sparseness. Overall, I'd say the movie took itself a bit too seriously and that definitely hurt it.

http://img.ezinemark.com/imagemanager2/files/30002494/2010/06/2010-06-21-15-55-42-2-a-series-of-the-scariest-predators-has-been-recent.jpeg
Only YOU can prevent laser fires.

The predators themselves looked cool, but there wasn't enough of them. In fact, they hardly felt like part of the movie at all.

The ending was abrupt and unsatisfying, leaving unresolved the fates of two characters we were obviously intended to care for. The music during the credits was retarded and unfitting for what had occurred before it.

Rating: 6/10

Sexy Celebrity

06-06-11, 10:19 AM

Deadite

06-06-11, 10:19 AM

If your definition of awesome is watching a naked chick in a swimming pool acting all spastic when she's actually supposed to fake passionate sex, then yes, it's bloody awesome.

Great film to watch when you're stone-cold drunk though.

Yes, precisely. And when Gina Gershon licks Kyle Maclachlan's nose, he flinches as if from a diseased hobo.

That ***** is priceless.

Deadite

06-06-11, 10:41 AM

I've seen this on TV, but never stayed for the whole thing. I agree that Adrian Brody seems like he's only there for credibility to the thing -- I mean, I keep thinking Predators must be amazing to have him in it. Especially after Alien vs. Predator: Requiem. I'll have to see it all for myself -- not sure about Jason Statham, but that sounds more like the right direction. Would be cool to see Sylvester Stallone battle predators, since Arnold Schwarzenegger already has.

Well, it certainly isn't amazing, but I think for fans it gets the job done. I enjoyed the movie despite its flaws, though I doubt I'll be rewatching it any time soon.

Statham was only one suggestion to point toward what I consider would have been a more appropriate lead for the role, as opposed to Brody. It was interesting to watch Brody try on an action hero persona but ultimately I think it was a failure.

Sexy Celebrity

06-06-11, 10:43 AM

Yeah, Brody looks more like he'd be suited to play one of the supporting characters, one of the other fighters, who may or may not live.

Deadite

06-06-11, 10:50 AM

Yeah, Brody looks more like he'd be suited to play one of the supporting characters, one of the other fighters, who may or may not live.

It would have been even more interesting, to me, to have seen Brody play the doctor. I wonder what he would have done with such a part. If you haven't seen the end of the film, you probably don't get what I'm referring to, though.

Yoda

06-06-11, 11:13 AM

Nice review; I tend to feel the same way overall about the film. I like several of the ideas in it very much, but not enough to give the film higher than 3.

That said, I like Adrien Brody in pretty much everything he's ever done.

Deadite

06-06-11, 11:18 AM

I'm with you on Brody; He's one of my favorite actors. Even though I couldn't fully buy into the movie as it was, I always find him watchable. :)

TheUsualSuspect

06-07-11, 04:09 AM

3 sounds about right. I was digging the flick until Fishburn reared his ugly head.

LuDiNaToR

06-07-11, 07:13 AM

i wasn't a massive fan of predators myself, i had the same problem with Brody.

http://www.fotogramas.es/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/noticias/adrien-brody-vs.-arnold-schwarzenegger/3976717-1-esl-ES/Adrien-Brody-vs.-Arnold-Schwarzenegger_noticia_main.jpg

Sexy Celebrity

06-07-11, 08:00 AM

Well, when you put it that way, Ludinator, I don't see what's so bad about him.

LuDiNaToR

06-07-11, 06:55 PM

Well, when you put it that way, Ludinator, I don't see what's so bad about him.

he just couldnt pull the badass off, tho he did better than i thort he would he still didn't pull it off.

The Prestige

06-08-11, 01:29 PM

Never been much of a fan of Brody, though he does seem talented. I haven't seen this film yet but he looks impressively strong in the picture Ludz has of him. Much more built than I thought he would look.

Deadite

06-21-11, 01:00 PM

The Road

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a7/The_Road_movie_poster.jpg

I doubt I will ever see another film from the post-apocalypse subgenre that so powerfully and realistically captures the atmosphere of futility and despair of existing in a dead end world. The closest I can think of is Time of the Wolf.

The story is deceptively simple: A father and son make their way through the wasteland remains of America, heading for the coast. Out of that premise comes a series of scenes, moments, which are starkly beautiful, at times filled with suspense erupting into sudden terror, all ultimately combining to form a painfully honest picture of human endurance.

Moments such as the Father showing his son how to properly put a pistol in his mouth and kill himself, if it must come to that. Their encounters with other people are seldom pleasant; Many have turned cannibal to survive.

The film is not unrelentingly grim, though the subject matter makes this mostly unavoidable; Nor should it be avoided, if the film is to be true to itself. Still, there are a precious few glimpses of happiness, peace, even joy and wonder.

http://www.joblo.com/images_arrow_reviews/viggoviggo.jpg

The Father is played by Viggo Mortenson, in an impressive, humble performance. Kodi Smit-Mcphee is equally impressive as the Son, believably evincing his character's combination of naive youthfulness and solemn maturity that results from a child who has grown up too fast.

Other players in the film only add to the sense of documentary realism. Robert Duvall's small but key part lends his usual touch of humanity to a film so uncompromising that it borders on alienating the audience. Charlize Theron, in the Father's dreams and recollections, as a wife and mother broken by their harsh new world. Guy Pearce, as another Father, adds his own small contribution near the film's end.

The impact of the film cannot be overstated. It puts the lie to bubblegum sci-fi actioners such as Book of Eli, revealing their superficial charm and excitement as the hollow escapist fantasy it really is.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7b/The_Road_bleak_scenery.jpg

The Road is not an escapist fantasy. It is a work of art, with genuine emotional depth, remarkable cinematography, and great tension. It is not an "easy" film. It is not a "fun" one.

It is honest, and haunting, and for those able and willing to invest in the struggle of these two people, it is an unforgettable experience.

9/10

Deadite

10-26-11, 11:53 AM

Skyline

http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/skyline.jpg
Don't look, period.

Back when I first saw trailers for Skyline, I got the impression it could be a cool sci-fi film. It reminded me of Independence Day, except played straight; a genuine alien invasion thriller, mature and scary.

Never mind all that, though. Skyline sucks, for the most part, and here's the short and sweet reasons why: It has no characters and no plot.

The FX look okay, yet the alien designs are cobbled together from various sources. The action scenes lack real tension or excitement because the people it's all happening to are flat annoying dumb ciphers who act so listlessly that it constantly distances the viewer from the story, making sympathizing with their plight impossible.

Calling it a story is a joke, though. The film literally & figuratively goes nowhere.

So, a joke to sum up: What has flashing blue lights, eats brains, and is boring as *****? This movie.

3/10

TheUsualSuspect

10-26-11, 07:10 PM

Skyline is unoriginal sci/fi trash. Terrible film.

Deadite

10-26-11, 10:39 PM

Skyline is unoriginal sci/fi trash. Terrible film.

I don't think there was a moment in the entire film that wasn't borrowed. The players were all embarassingly amateurish, and that ending had me rolling my eyes.

I pretty much gave up near the middle, switched off, and tried to enjoy the eye candy. Even then, I was pretty glad when it was over because the acting was so obnoxiously bad.

filmgirlinterrupted

10-26-11, 11:37 PM

Skyline was insanely awful. I think I lasted 20 minutes before I turned if off. Ugh.

honeykid

10-27-11, 12:49 AM

You guys saw the trailer for this, right? And you still watched it? You got everything you deserved. :p

TheUsualSuspect

10-27-11, 03:34 AM

I watch EVERYTHING!!!

honeykid

10-27-11, 09:34 AM

Then you've no one to blame but yourself. :D

Yoda

10-27-11, 09:37 AM

Deadite

10-27-11, 06:40 PM

I'm surprised this many people are saying they hate it without any of them adding a caveat about the last 10 minutes. It was definitely a bad movie, but it actually feels like the prelude to a moderately interesting one, given the ending.

I understand where you're coming from, and the idea presented at the end does appeal to me. BUT a last minute spark of interest does not justify all that preceding lameness.

In fact, I didn't hate it as much as it might seem. I felt overall that it was a big meh....but I lowered my score mostly because the actors seemed to be phoning it in, and that movie desperately needed some engaging human drama.

Will I check out the sequel? Probably, if it uses that ending as its storyline basis. I'm a sucker for sci-fi and horror, and willing to give those genres more leeway.

Which is why I sit through stuff like C. Thomas Howell's War of the Worlds. :D

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=c%20thomas%20howell

Deadite

09-15-12, 04:59 AM

The Tree of Life

http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/the_tree_of_life_movie_poster_01.jpg

Great art probably should be a polarizing experience. Reveling in subjectivity is its virtue, not a flaw. The aim of creation shouldn't be to reach a consensus, but to glorify the potentials of interpretation and embrace the fluidity of its manifestations.

Pretentious? This film The Tree of Life makes no pretension of not being pretentious... if by "pretentious" we're referring to the kneejerk label sneeringly placed on a work of art that dares to seriously contemplate big questions. ToL is completely unashamed in its attempt to cohere into something remarkable, to transcend limitations both real and consensual in its quest for the sublime. Does it succeed? I think it does, modestly, but even if I thought otherwise I would still give it the same score because I feel the effort itself is most important, and in that effort ToL is most heartfelt.

10/10

Deadite

01-07-13, 07:21 PM

Bump. I've decided to change up the presentation and try to start adding in some shorter reviews of older faves that I might elaborate on with additional posts as the ideas come. We'll see how it works.

I'm thinking Mulholland Drive for starters... :)

honeykid

01-07-13, 07:27 PM

Bring it on, Deadite. :)

Deadite

01-07-13, 07:52 PM

Mulholland Drive

I find this movie endlessly intriguing. It's a... what? "Neo-noir"? Psychological horror? Surreal crime drama/mystery thiller? It all fits and yet nothing fits. MD is a jumble of events and people with few clear indicators to the viewer as to how they should fit, and that alone will test patience and push some away.

It's a cliche at this point to describe a Lynch film as a dream or dream-like. What is clear for me is that MD is a powerful albeit difficult experience, where characters exist and drift in uneasy confluences of dread and longing, deep anxiety and grim absurdity, both lucidly and nonsensically pursuing and being pursued by their fears and desires.

One scene particularly stood out for me at first: Club Silencio, where Betty's fantasy finally begins unraveling. The song "Crying" was a perfect choice, unleashing and literalizing the torrents of grief and anguish which the film's pseudo-narrative to that point had overlayed and tried to control... To Be Continued...

Deadite

01-07-13, 08:14 PM

Indeed, it can be overlooked by the over-intellectualizing reviewer that Mulholland Drive is primarily an emotional film, not cold and distant, but a desperate negotiation with terrible trauma and the bitter disappointment, self-loathing and guilt that accompanies it.

As in real dreams, characters exist merely to play their part in the personal drama of a damaged psyche: Observe the old couple early on in the film, cheerfully wishing Betty well in her nascent adventure to pursue her dream. These are typical Lynchian figures, ostensibly harmless but any viewer can immediately pick up on the awkwardness, and it's not surprising that some would explain the oddness as poor acting. It is not.

Lynch unsubtly drives his point home as we, the viewers, witness their robotic and somehow ghoulish behavior in the car after Betty has exited the stage, so to speak. These are not real people, but merely bits of fiction invented to serve a small purpose... TBC

Deadite

01-07-13, 08:38 PM

Or take for example the police after the car wreck, their forced dialogue straining to seem authentic, laboriously conversing until they conclude Rita escaped the crash. The viewer can be forgiven for picking up on the stiffness, the drawn-out pauses, and wondering what to make of it. Clearly, Betty/Diane was no detective fiction writer and it shows. Lynch bravely immerses his film so thoroughly in the mind of its main character that her shortcomings are its shortcomings and her ignorance, its ignorance.

MD isn't about the mechanisms of circumstance or banal expositions of motivations; It's purely aftermath, and its central conceit is the manner in which a mind seeks to escape from or cope with reality through symbolic masking of pain. It dances around the truth, trying to whittle & re-shape it into more palatable forms. The tragedy of Diane, in the end, is a variation of self-destructiveness which brings to mind the words of Oscar Wilde: Each man kills the thing he loves.

Or each woman.

Deadite

01-07-13, 08:42 PM

Bring it on, Deadite. :)

Thanks! Hope you enjoyed.

Guaporense

01-07-13, 08:52 PM

This is some very well written stuff. I can excuse myself a little because I am not a native English speaker, but anyway, in my first language I also cannot write that well.

PS. I never understood why the praise for the Tree of Life. Though, not a big fan of Malick's style, none the three films that I have watched from him impressed me.

While I found Mulholland Drive very interesting and a powerful emotional roller-coaster ride.

Deadite

01-07-13, 08:58 PM

Thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read and perhaps even gives an insight into the movie's meaning. I adore Lynch's films, frustratingly impenetrable as they can first seem.

Re: Tree of Life... I think it is somewhat uneven in its individual scenes but ultimately a great film. I can understand how others would be put off by it but for me personally it worked well more often than not and I stand by my review and score. To me, the film's central concern was empathy, how living beings relate in a universe that is strange and dangerous, and the miracle that compassion and love can even exist at all in harsh circumstances. There's a hinting of a profound unity of life that spoke to me as a panentheist. I totally get that such a movie will inevitably receive a backlash of frustrated expectations or eye-rolling impatience, but c'est la vie.

JayDee

01-08-13, 06:39 PM