I love you all. [Archive]

Holden Pike

05-29-02, 07:40 PM

Yes, that's my wonderfully rusty German coming through. I took German for four years in High School with about a solid C- average. I could barely speak it a lick back then, even less now of course. The thing that always tore me up was learning German grammar, which can be tricky for us Yanks (counterintuitive in many instances). I'm sure the second two mini sentences are constructed properly, but I doubt the "naturally" at the end of the first really goes there.

My favorite assignment in that class was writing a movie review. I chose Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid and got to learn cool phrases like "Who are those guys?" and "seemingly the entire Bolivian army is outside" auf Deutch. Don't know them anymore, but it was fun then. The only reason I chose German over the more popular French and Spanish was so that I could watch old WWII movies and understand them Nazi's without benefit of subtitles. I can still understand a little conversationally, but I don't think I could speak it to save meinen butt.

ANYway...

The Silver Bullet

05-29-02, 07:59 PM

Holden Pike in a Nazi concentration camp at the height of the Second World War. I can only imagine...

Holden Pike

05-29-02, 08:21 PM

Awwww, that's such a sweet sentiment!

Not really clear on whether you're comparing me to a Nazi or a victim, but it's a sensitive and welcome analogy either way. Thanks.
:sick:

Do you like to kick puppies too? Or at least kangaroos? Be careful, though, 'cause thems is likely to kick back.

The Silver Bullet

05-29-02, 08:30 PM

I meant as a victim. I can just imagine you talking back to the gaurds in German. Making them look stupid. Your final words would be sarcastic, I'm sure. It wasn't a shot at you, and that's honest.

Meanwhile, I don't kick puppies. I drown them.
And I don't kick kangaroos. That's silly.

I run them over, hoist them onto the back of a ute, slice off their necks and feet and arms and take them to pubs where people pay to have sex with the carcasses.

Get it right.

Holden Pike

05-29-02, 08:44 PM

Hey, here's a sidetrack question: what's the largest animal you've ever hit with a car? I guess some of you don't actually drive yet, but for those who do, what was it?

I've killed a few squirrels in my day, a couple armadillos, but a woodchuck has to reign supreme. They aren't very smart creatures, or very swift either. Waddled right under my front right tire. I still maintain it was comitting suicide, because what other logical explanation is there? That particular woodcuck definitely couldn't chuck wood, in any amount. Couldn't even cross the blinkin' road successfully.

Never hit a deer, thank goodness (you can get injured as much as the woodland creature), but I saw one completely creamed by a big pickup truck in the lane right next to me. We must have been going over 65MPH, but luckily for him (and unluckily for the deer, I guess) his truck was strong enough that he didn't even slow down after the hit. Wasn't a very big deer either - even before the truck hit it, though the collision done made it much smaller. The thing just exploded. Really gross. Had to scrape a little bit of deer off of my windshield later that morning.

I flattened a tire while swerving hard into a curb to avoid hitting a cat. I missed the cat, but completely blew out my tire. I don't know if felines have nine lives, but they're damn more durable than a radial vs. three-inch-high concrete.

Any other charming stories? Let's not bother with vehicular homicides, as I'm sure nobody wants to see this later in a court proceeding (I sometimes wonder if that's what all of those guests viewing printable versions of threads is all about).

sadesdrk

05-29-02, 09:45 PM

Originally posted by Holden Pike
Hey, here's a sidetrack question: what's the largest animal you've ever hit with a car? I guess some of you don't actually drive yet, but for those who do, what was it?

I was minding my own business and a hugantic deer crashed into the side of my car. It busted out my right headlight and dented the wheel well pretty good. Scared the complete sh*t out of me.
I always thought that I would see a deer frozen in the headlights before plowing in to it, (and dad taught all of us girls," Never swerve or break for an animal, I'd rather you cream the ******* and save yourself from a head-on collision or going off the side of the road.") but I never expected the deer to run into ME.
So I get out of the car and the deer is flippin' out on the road about half a mile behind me, my car has this "horror scene" smear of blood on it and what looks like brains. I puked and got back in the car. Needless to say, Dad had to hose the car off before I would drive in it again...he also fixed my headlight.

Yoda

05-29-02, 09:45 PM

Originally posted by Holden Pike
Hey, here's a sidetrack question: what's the largest animal you've ever hit with a car? I guess some of you don't actually drive yet, but for those who do, what was it?
Never hit anything. Nearly hit a person this week, though. Stupid McDonald's employee looking one way and walking the other. :rolleyes: Not exactly an animal, but I doubt it'd be hard to find rabbits of superior intelligence.

patti

05-29-02, 10:17 PM

chris, would that mcdonald's employee have been crossing near the drive thru as you were leaving at about two miles per hour? :laugh:

my neighbor hit a white horse in a snowstorm.........his big pickup truck was completely mutilated nd the horse was shot. horrible story.

i hit a pheasant or a turkey....it flew out from the side of the road even with the height of my hood and went right into my grill.....SMACK!! feathers flew up, the van behind me freaked out wondering what the hell i was doing up in front of him.
and prior to that (my first and heartbroken roadkill story) i was cruising and saw a tiny bird just lifting his head...already hit on the road ......i was just about to cross over him,- i tried to cross with him out of tires path but i guess i just ended his misery. a tiny bump and i just gasped in horror.

:bawling: :bawling:

holden, ein kann sprecken zee deutch unzt mein own fake stylen......zerr shpelling isst offt untz zee verds all whronng, yaa, yet mein fammileee eez vromm deutchland, so een zerr honerr, i sprecken zer gut bullsheet, yah??

:rotfl:

spudracer

05-29-02, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by Holden Pike
Hey, here's a sidetrack question: what's the largest animal you've ever hit with a car? I guess some of you don't actually drive yet, but for those who do, what was it?

Didn't really hit it, but part of my truck scraped the top of an armadillo. I came back the next day and saw that someone else had finished the job.

sadesdrk

05-29-02, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by patti
holden, ein kann sprecken zee deutch unzt mein own fake stylen......zerr shpelling isst offt untz zee verds all whronng, yaa, yet mein fammileee eez vromm deutchland, so een zerr honerr, i sprecken zer gut bullsheet, yah??

:rotfl: Whoa, I totally understood that.:eek:

;D

Yoda

05-29-02, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by patti
chris, would that mcdonald's employee have been crossing near the drive thru as you were leaving at about two miles per hour? :laugh:
Eh, yes and no. Somewhere nearby. She would've been significantly injured if she'd been hit. I can't for the life of me understand how someone could ever, ever, ever walk out into a street while looking in the opposite direction.

Holden Pike

05-29-02, 10:21 PM

Ya, sehr gut, Fraulein!

I could probably do some decent B.S. double-talk, like an old Sid Caesar and Carl Reiner routine, but most of it would only be Germanish-sounding gibberish.

The extra cool/gross thing about hitting armadillos is the *POP* if you hit 'em just right. Ewww, ever been in the car when a box turtle bit it? I wasn't at the wheel (a buddy was driving), but that is a sound you won't soon forget.

sadesdrk

05-29-02, 10:23 PM

Sounds like something for the shoutbox! Entertain us Papa Pike! :p

The Silver Bullet

05-29-02, 11:06 PM

Hitting a kangaroo has to be the closest experience to hitting a person without actually hitting a person. A very stupid person, mind you. A person who, in your headlights, stops and stares dumbly in the middle of the road and waits to be killed.

Heh heh heh.
Killing.

Steve

05-30-02, 12:31 AM

Originally posted by Holden Pike
Hey, here's a sidetrack question: what's the largest animal you've ever hit with a car? I guess some of you don't actually drive yet, but for those who do, what was it?

A snake. Its eyes popped out and made a nasty noise. I wanted to cry at first, but then i realized that i don't like snakes anyway. i've never hit anything else, luckily, but there's this one kid who's always in the street by my house, and if i had the chance, i'd try to pop his eyes out too. then back over him. he'd get what he deserves.

Mary Loquacious

05-31-02, 06:43 PM

I squashed a rabbit on Easter Sunday while driving to church.

And no, the irony did not escape me. ;)

Kahiri

06-02-02, 01:31 AM

I hit a bird once. It slammed into my winshield while Sunny and Cher were singing "I've got you babe." Right after they said "babe." I nearly cried. =)

On another side note, does anyone else get that irritating, flashing "WINNER" banner across the top of the screen? Seizure, anyone?

Yoda

06-02-02, 01:34 AM

:rolleyes: Yes, I get it too, but NO, I am not turning the flashing banner off this time. I've deactived them every other time before and quite frankly, I lose a LOT of money for doing so. I'd like to at least break even someday. :D

The Silver Bullet

06-02-02, 08:27 PM

I hit a bird once. It slammed into my winshield while Sunny and Cher were singing "I've got you babe." Right after they said "babe."

That is damned funny.
:laugh:

Sullivan

06-02-02, 11:58 PM

I have hit and killed one Golden Ground squirrel.

I have swerved and avoided killing one mountain goat.

Originally posted by Mary Loquacious
I squashed a rabbit on Easter Sunday while driving to church.

And no, the irony did not escape me. ;)

HEY. You. I once dated a girl who looked remarkably like your icon.

Holden Pike

06-03-02, 12:11 AM

I once dated a girl who was deaf. Beautiful, met her during Beach Week down at Ocean City, MD on graduation from High School, my first real girlfriend. But it was over when I humorously said (or so I thought), "What are you, deaf or something?!?" when she asked me to repeat something I had mumbled in the car. She had 100% hearing-loss in one ear and about 75% in the other, and used a hearing aide. As I mumble anyway and even folks with full hearing capabilities misunderstand me with regularity, it probably wasn't a good match.

Gorgeous girl though. I ran into her last year. She's happily married now with two kids. Good for her. She's still gorgeous.

Okay, so I'm an insensitive shmuck, are you really surprised?

sadesdrk

06-03-02, 12:21 PM

Originally posted by Holden Pike
... But it was over when I humorously said (or so I thought), "What are you, deaf or something?!?" Oh God...:laugh: I won't recover from that one; too...damn...funny. I could just hear your inner dialouge when she told you she was deaf...
:rotfl:
Holden's Brain: @sshole. @*******. @sshole.

Mary Loquacious

06-03-02, 02:45 PM

HEY. You. I once dated a girl who looked remarkably like your icon.

Was her name Death, by any chance? ;)

The Silver Bullet

06-03-02, 09:15 PM

Oh God... :laugh: I won't recover from that one; too...damn...funny.

I agree.
We so need a standing ovation smilie...

Sullivan

06-03-02, 09:47 PM

Originally posted by Mary Loquacious

Was her name Death, by any chance? ;)

Sheilin.

Hey.......wait. Are you trying to tell me that's actually a picture of Death?

Mary Loquacious

06-03-02, 09:55 PM

Originally posted by Sullivan
Sheilin.

Hey.......wait. Are you trying to tell me that's actually a picture of Death?

Sheilin--that's a cool name.

And it is Death--Death from Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic. :)

Sullivan

06-03-02, 10:21 PM

Originally posted by Mary Loquacious

And it is Death--Death from Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic. :)

I see.

....well, wow. Death is, uh.......Death is lookin' pretty good right now. I wonder if Death is seeing anyone.

Mary Loquacious

06-03-02, 10:43 PM

She is cute, inn't she? Little Goth chickie.

Well, technically she's single, but she's only allowed to be human for one day of the year.

So you'll have to keep your eyes open.
:)

Sullivan

06-03-02, 11:34 PM

Oh, my eyes are wide open.....trust me.

Although it would be so much easier if I could just find someone who knew what day she would be human on. ;)

Fez Wizardo

06-10-02, 05:55 PM

I've never really hit any animals apart from the occassional hedgehog on the motoway which is no biggie, but I did have a few funny incidents with pizza hut delivery boys.

I was once late in braking at a set of traffic light and managed to lightly tap the backwheel of the PH moped, the bloke turned around completely enraged started hurling abuse, got off of his little scooter and started ramming his front wheel into the front of my toyota landcruiser until his mudguard broke and his front wheel bent :confused:

I scratched my head for a bit drove off when the light turned green and caught sight of him in the rear mirror jumping on his front wheel trying to straighten it out :D

Mark

06-24-04, 04:42 PM

I seriously thought I had hit someone crossing the street one evening. I tried to swerve, but I heard the "thud' and everything. I pulled over with my heart pounding. When I looked back in the roadway expecting to see a person dead or badly injured, no one was there. I then saw the person continuing to walk down the sidewalk. I shouted, "Are you okay?" She only looked at me and kept walking. I was then very confused. I knew I had hit her. I felt and heard the "thud." It then donned on me. I had eight gallons of paint in the back of my S-10 Blazer (4 gallons stacked on the other 4). I opened up the hatch and they were scattered across the back. When I had swerved, the top 4 gallons flew off and hit the opposite side of the car. That was the "thud" I had heard and felt. Whew!

Caitlyn

06-25-04, 02:30 PM

I have been hit by a big dog and a doe… the dog just needed an aspirin for his headache… and a commode plunger took the dent out of my car… but I have no idea about the fate of the poor doe… she made a huge dent in the side of my car, then jumped over the hood, denting it in, and kept right on going… with a buck right on her heels… apparently he never read the 'luurve tips' from Dr. Luuuurve in the Upsy Downsy thread… hmm….but then again, maybe he had… :p

Garrett

06-25-04, 02:54 PM

My dad once hit a Turkey Buzzard... the bastard broke the side mirror... another time on the interstate my mom had just put her window up when this bird slams into the window. There was an audible crunch. I have no doubt that if the window was down my mom would have a bird lodged in her brain.

Mark

06-25-04, 06:11 PM

I have no doubt that if the window was down my mom would have a bird lodged in her brain.

Birdbrain! :laugh:

susan

06-25-04, 06:48 PM

let's see

a sea gull landed in front of my car once, i hit a water rat and had to wait for a flock of geese to cross the street

once driving in new hampshire for the first time, a deer almost ran into our car

never mind the numerous bugs that hit the windshield, the hood, the fenders, etc

Revenant

06-25-04, 08:21 PM

Don't drive but was a passenger of a car that got dive bombed by a diarrhoeretic bird.

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

Nearly half the windscreen was covered in sickly, sliding bird s**t.

nebbit

07-01-04, 07:05 AM

I love you all

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/kiss1.gif

Tea Barking

07-01-04, 10:10 AM

Who wouldnt love me?
Answers on a postcard.

7thson

07-01-04, 10:42 AM

No animals, but a sign hit the Humvee I was driving while in the Army. There was an approaching sand storm while we were relocating in the Southern Iraqi desert and just as it hit us from the side so did a street sign. The sign had that toxic waste symbol on it. Needless to say it was a bit disturbing. I tried to save the sign to take back with me, but was not allowed to do so. sniff.