Limit to age difference in partners?

[Pyro Tramp]

When it comes to partners, do you have any moral limits on age or a certain boundary you won't cross? You think people are becoming sexually active younger and younger these days? Would you wait till you were legal or make sure your children are?

Suppose what's prompting the question is i always said i'd never get with a girl younger than my sister but last couple weeks that i've been out, girls that i've got with have been same age as her. And my friend likes a girl but when he found out her age, he lost interest.

[Miss Vicky]

I don't think that there is or should be a limit to the difference in age, as long as both partners are consenting adults.

Personally, I won't date men that are younger than me, but that's because those that I've dealt with are far too psychologically and emotionally immature for me to handle. I'm childish enough for both of us.

[Yoda]

I think there can be differences that are beyond the bounds of propriety, if you believe in propriety (not you, specifically, but anyone reading). Pretty hard to put a number on this sort of thing. Usually we know it when we see it, though.

A big part of it is whether or not the relationship is serious and genuine, of course. I'd say most of the relationships involving massive age differences have a lot more to do with less noble sentiments, like money, pride, etc. That plays a pretty big role in what's shunned.

That said, age difference clearly matters a lot less as we get older. Things even out at a certain age, so it depends not only on the difference, but the cumulative total of the two ages, I think. An eight-year difference when the guy is 23 and the girl is 15 would strike even the most open-minded of us as a little tawdry, I think. But 53 and 45? Nobody would even blink.

So, I'd say it's pretty much always a case-by-case thing, with total age of the participants and likely motivations two of the biggest determining factors. In some abstract way I suppose the "love is love" sentiment has some merit, but that assumes that such relationships are based on love, and I think a lot of them are probably based on other things.

[rufnek]

When it comes to partners, do you have any moral limits on age or a certain boundary you won't cross? You think people are becoming sexually active younger and younger these days? Would you wait till you were legal or make sure your children are?

Suppose what's prompting the question is i always said i'd never get with a girl younger than my sister but last couple weeks that i've been out, girls that i've got with have been same age as her. And my friend likes a girl but when he found out her age, he lost interest.

First, I never ask a lady's age. Either she's interesting or she's not. And only 2 women ever asked mine. One was a lady I met while trawling through the crowd at Gilley's one night. She was sitting alone, and she obviously was an older lady, although how old would be hard to guess. She had looks and style, plus each time I was in her area and looked toward her, she was looking at me (I find one of any woman's greatest charms is an obvious interest in me!) So I went over and asked her to dance. Later we were sitting at her table when one of the waitresses came by with a young 20-something guy in tow--apparently my partner had earlier asked the waitress to find her a dancing partner, but that position was already filled by the time she got back.

Anyway, later that evening my dancing partner asked my age, which at that time was in my late 40's. When I told her, she rolled her eyes and said, "You're way too young for me!" Nevertheless, she gave me her phone number and we went out again. Had a long-distance affair for awhile--she lived in San Antonio with her husband but had a married daughter in Houston and would call me up everytime she came to town. Even took me over to meet her daughter and son-in-law. One day she sent to my office a big box of "adult" cookies shaped like boobs and other sexual things! Some of the other older women (about 5 years older as a rule) that I dated sent me flowers to the office. I never once got flowers from younger women.

If I have an age prejudice, it's against younger women. I found that women younger than about 35 usually were not as much fun. For one thing, the generation gap widens below that point. They never got my jokes and I never knew the singers and movie and TV stars they talked about. For another, really young women in their 20s are usually full of themselves because they're used to bunches of young bucks chasing after them. The world is their oyster and all their attention is on "Me! Me! Me!" Even women in their early 30s are still in transition from that early stage where they had it all. By 35, the field is about cleaned out, because even most older guys are chasing younger women. Plus a lot of the men still on the market by then are losers, boozers, or cheaters. And then there was me, single, sober, good dancer, good income, good humor, and we both share similar memories of music, movies, and big events in the world.

Plus it always seemed tacky to me for a guy to go with a woman as young or younger than his own children. His sister's age? Fine, so long as little sister isn't 20 years younger than you. But dating someone the age of one's own daughter always seemed to me to be on the edge of incest.

[Godoggo]

If we are talking relationships, then ditto what Yoda said.But I gather your talking more about casual sexual encounters. I know a lot of young girls who use sex as a means to feel better about themselves then feel the worse for it. I know a nineteen year old that has had quite a few sexual encounters and seems fine with it. The thing is if these are just hook-ups you don't know these people well enough to know if you're sleeping with the girl who is in to it as much as you, or if you're with the girl who just wants to be validated and is going to hate herself tomorrow. The younger the girl the less likely she is to have enough of a sense of herself not to make bad choices.

I didn't have sex at a young age (comparatively) and I think I am better off for it. I would hope if I had daughters, that I could be very open and non judge mental with them about sex. And refrain from beating the dog snot out of every boy they brought into the house. ;)

[mark f]

I didn't have sex at a young age (comparatively) and I think I am better off for it. I would hope if I had daughters, that I could be very open and non judge mental with them about sex. And refrain from beating the dog snot out of every boy they brought into the house. ;)

Nah, that's Daddy's job. :cool:

[honeykid]

Legal? Pulse? We're good to go. :D

[Holden Pike]

Once both people are over the age of eighteen, it really doesn't matter. At the age of thirty-nine now I can't say there are many nineteen or twenty-year-olds I would naturally gravitate to, but there are plenty of women in their forties and fifties with whom I do. As everybody else has intimated it would be on a case by case basis. I wouldn't reject anyone outright as either too old or too young (again, assuming we are talking at least eighteen), and I certainly don't judge other couples of age difference I meet or see.

This is a question that seems really crucial and thorny when one is young, but by the time you're in your thirties and beyond, as long as you love the person and you're both above the age of consent...who gives a flip about age difference? I'd say as a general rule if you find you're asking yourself the question in an inner dialogue, then you already know the answer and it is already too awkward for you, no matter what anybody else or society at large says. But when you groove to that other of-age person, no matter the difference in birth years, it doesn't even enter your head. I speak from experience on this one. Very, very happy experience.

http://www.whyfame.com/gossip/2009/january/30/ashton_kutcher_and_demi_moores_adoption_plan_main_10059.jpg http://frugalwahmsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/calista_flockhart.jpg

[Tacitus]

One of my best friends is married to a woman who is 19 years older than he is, and they've been together close on 20 years, since he was in his early 20s. Are they happy? They're still married, if that's any indication...

I've never really thought about it when I've been out with them but he's a few years older than me and she's a couple of years younger than my mum. ;)

[downthesun]

As a general rule, my friends and I use 1/2 your age + 7 for the youngest girls we'll go for. Most of us are 20, so that's 17. The rule makes sense, as you get older the age gap can increase. Obviously there are exceptions where you meet some girls who are a lot more mature then they should be at their age.

I do think children are having sex at younger ages. One of my mates says "14 is the new 17" which is true, kids at 14 are acting the way we did when we were 17. If the chance had come up before i was 16 I would have taken it but looking back, it just seems so wrong when i see a year 7 or 8 and think they may be sexually active, they look so small and young.

[The Prestige]

There are no limits with me when it comes to sexual encounters. As long as the girl is legal and as long as she's not over 50, i'd hit it if I were attracted to her.

Relationships are a different thing, though. My relationships have often been with older women. And when I say older I usually mean about 2 - 3 years older. That said, I once went out with a woman who was 32, and whilst she had a slight problem with the age gap, I loved it.

[Brother Blue]

I would say a difference of 60 years is a big no, no. Except for Anna Nicole Smith and that billionaire, you could tell that was real love. ;)

Other than that as long as it's legal, do as you please.

[honeykid]

...That said, I once went out with a woman who was 32, and whilst she had a slight problem with the age gap, I loved it.

Ah yes. If he's lucky, when a man in his late teens/early 20's he'll date a woman in her early 30's. After that relationship, he really should phone up every girl/woman he was with before, plead ignorance and apologise. ;)

[rufnek]

I didn't have sex at a young age (comparatively) and I think I am better off for it. I would hope if I had daughters, that I could be very open and non judge mental with them about sex. And refrain from beating the dog snot out of every boy they brought into the house. ;)

As a father of a daughter, I can testify that the first time a guy comes by the house to pick up your little girl for a date, all the sexual "sins" of your own life flash before your eyes. Doesn't get any better as she gets older, although there's some relief at her wedding before you start worrying whether the "loser" she married can support her like you did. :)

[Classicqueen13]

I think people closer in age would have more in common, but I'm not judgemental on that sort of thing. If the love of my life turns out to be ten years (random number) older than me, I'll love him because he's the one for me regardless of age

[regnif]

Most of the girls i have had relationships with have been 5 to 6 years younger than me..

I am almost 32 now...haven't had a relationship with an older woman yet, but would love to at some point...



I guess age difference doesent really matter...as long there are same interests and mutual understanding...
but I would say that a 10 to 12 year difference upwards/downwards for either men and women is the ideal age for a relationship.

[shapeshifter]

I 've dated a couple of men who were 10 years older than myself & i've also dated younger by about 6yrs, but i do think there can be too young & too old, For reasons already stated, interest & having things in common.
5yrs ago when i was 32, a guy who i knew from the rock club & bikers meets i used to go to, asked me out & i nearly said yes until he told me his age, which was 19yrs old , as much as we had the same interests & he was mature for his age, I could not get past his age.

[Spikez]

That's totally your own choice, I myself, don't want a difference over 3 yrs.