80's Trash from the Future [Archive]

Used Future

08-22-08, 10:34 AM

Warning...This thread was previously banned in over eighty countries around the world for it's graphic images of gore and violence that many people found disturbing...

Now...for the first time on Movie Forums the authorities have seen fit to pass 80's Trash from the Future fully uncut for your viewing pleasure...
If you are easily offended or of a nervous disposition then please proceed with extreme caution...and remember...it's only a movie review...it's only a movie review...it's only a movie review...

80's Trash from the Future
http://www.timboucher.com/journal/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/smashed-video-tape460.jpg

In this thread I'm going to be reviewing low budget horror/sci-fi films mainly from the 1980's. It seems like only yesterday that I was down the video shop mesmerized by those gaudy big box rental tapes, only to be disappointed by the inevitably crappy movies they contained. Still, with that said I have a huge fondness for the genre, some of them remaining favourites to this day. Please also note that I'm not reviewing these films from distorted teenage memory. All the titles reviewed here I either own on dvd/vhs or have seen in the last five years. I will also try and watch them again before each review.

* There is a two tier rating system in place for the films, the first is an objective rating, for serious film fans. Additionally there is my self indulgent trash entertainment rating, based on cult cheese appeal and all round lowbrow cool.

Contents

Page One
Contamination (1980) 2 Trash rating 3.5
Cherry 2000 (1987) 3 Trash rating 3
Forbidden World (1982) 2 Trash rating 3
Street Trash (1987) 3.5 Trash rating 5
Parasite (1982) 1 Trash rating 1.5
The Borrower (1989) 2.5 Trash rating 3
The Kindred (1987) 3 Trash rating 4
Humanoids from the Deep (1980) 4 Trash rating 5
Nightmare City (1980) 1.5 Trash rating 2.5
C.H.U.D. (1984) 2.5 Trash rating 4

Page Two
C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud (1989) 1 Trash rating 1
Neon Maniacs (1986) 1 Trash rating 1
Dead Heat (1988) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
Creepozoids (1987) 1 Trash rating 2
Turkey Shoot (1982) 2 Trash rating 2.5

Page Three
The Blob (1988) 4 Trash rating 4
The Deadly Spawn (1983) 2.5 Trash rating 4
Bronx Warriors (1982) 2 Trash rating 4
Bronx Warriors 2 (1983) 1.5 Trash rating 3
Creature (1985) 2 Trash rating 2.5

Page Four
Brain Damage (1988) 2.5 Trash rating 4
TerrorVision (1986) 2.5 Trash rating 5
Slugs (1988) 2 Trash rating 2.5
Night of the Comet (1984) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
Xtro (1982) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5

Inseminoid (1981) 1.5 Trash rating 2

Page Five
Galaxina (1980) 1 Trash rating 2
Galaxy of Terror (1981) 2.5 Trash rating 5
2019: After the Fall of New York (1983) 2.5+ Trash Rating 5

Page Six
Scarecrows (1988) 2.5 Trash rating 3+
Cannibal Apocalypse (1980) 3+ Trash rating 5
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987) 2.5- Trash rating 3.5

Page 7
Blood Diner (1987) 2 Trash rating 3+
Dead End Drive-In (1986) 3+ Trash rating 4+
The Beast Within (1982) 2 Trash rating 3

Page 8
Rats: Night of Terror (1984) 1.5 Trash rating 3.5+
Night of the Creeps (1986) 3- Trash rating 5

Page 9
Motel Hell (1980) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
Chopping Mall (1986) 2.5 Trash rating 4

Sedai

08-22-08, 11:12 AM

Bring it!

This should be good....

Used Future

08-22-08, 11:42 AM

http://monsterhunter.coldfusionvideo.com/ContaminationCover.jpg http://horrorfreak.freeblog.hu/files/contam.jpg

Contamination (Luigi Cozzi 1980) 2 Trash rating 3.5
Luigi Cozzi is an Italian director probably best known for his 1978 Star Wars knock off Starcrash. Those of you fortunate enough (or unfortunate depending on how you look at it) to have seen that movie, will know that it was laughably camp, and painfully cheap. With that said however, the film was entertaining, all be it in a 'so bad it's good' fashion, and was also notable for David Hasselhoff in one of his first film roles.

Contamination was one of the original video nasties (though it was dropped from the official DPP list in 1985) it has what appears to be an even lower budget than Starcrash, and like Cozzi's former flick, is yet another shameless cash in (no prizes for guessing which movie). The story begins with an unmanned cargo ship drifting into the New York harbor (an opening stolen from Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2). On boarding investigators discover the hold filled with boxes of green eggs oozing slime that if touched, results in a rather nasty chest explosion. Enter cocky New York cop Tony Aris (Marino Mase) and ice maiden Colonel Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau). They recruit washed up alcoholic Commander Ian Hubbard (Italian horror favourite Ian McCulloch), who claims to have seen the eggs before on an ill fated mission to Mars; together they trace the ships origin to South America. Off they go to the jungle where they discover a coffee factory manned by James Bond style henchmen, and a hilarious alien cyclops laying the yucky eggs.

http://www.zuti-titl.com/images/stories/Arminio/contamination/contamination1.jpg http://www.zuti-titl.com/images/stories/Arminio/contamination/contamination4.jpg

http://www.zuti-titl.com/images/stories/Arminio/contamination/contamination5.jpg http://www.zuti-titl.com/images/stories/Arminio/contamination/contamination3.jpg

Contamination is painfully cheap, Cozzi has since admitted that shots of a police helicopter in the films intro were just filmed on the hoof in New York. Yup, that's right he just shot a helicopter flying overhead and over dubbed actors voices for the pilots (pretty clever really). The makeup effects though, aren't half bad, particularly the slow motion exploding chests which are really quite satisfying. Contamination also features a great electronic soundtrack from cult Italian band Goblin (one of their best).

Ultimately though the film suffers from a suspect dubbing track, cheap production values, and a plainly ridiculous plot. Contamination is also a little on the slow side, despite a gore soaked opening fifteen minutes, the majority of the film is relentlessly talky. It does have an entertaining climax, but you'd be forgiven for giving up half way through, unless you like this sort of thing. This is a film best enjoyed with a group of like-minded friends, and lots of beer (that you've already consumed). It's hilariously crappy, but despite my low rating, I have a real soft spot for the film (it's actually one of my all time favourites). I'd definitely recommend this to curious fans of the Alien films looking for some low rent fun spaghetti style; just be prepared to roll your eyes ironically now and again.

Used Future

08-22-08, 02:54 PM

http://www.fox.es/content/fox_films/10965/images/large_packshot_cherry%202000.jpg http://www.sinart.asso.fr/updir/critique/247_0.jpg

Cherry 2000 (Steve De Jarnatt 1987) 3 Trash rating 3
If the sight of Melanie Griffith with bright red hair and a shotgun isn't enough to turn you onto this movie, then let me have a try. On the surface Cherry 2000 looks like some god awful Rambo or Mad Max rip off. Whilst there may be some justification in that comparison, the post apocalyptic setting, big guns, big hair etc etc. The fact is Cherry 2000 plays nothing like those movies, and guess what, it's pretty enjoyable stuff too.

The story concerns Sam Treadwell (David Andrews) a mild mannered office jockey with a robot wife/sex object called a Cherry 2000. When his Cherry breaks (no pun intended), after the washing machine overloads (I'm not kidding), Sam removes her memory/personality disc, and looks for a replacement body. The only problem is Cherry is an obsolete model, and all the replacement bodies are in the middle of a hostile wasteland outside the city. Desperate (Sam is in love with his Cherry), he hires tom boy Edith 'E' Johnson (Melanie Griffith) a tracker who knows the location of the Cherry stash, to lead him there. The rest of the movie is their perilous journey across the desert into Zone 7, where they encounter Lester (a very funny Tim Thomerson) and his odd band of crazies. Naturally Treadwell and Johnson fall for each other, but can he ditch his beloved Cherry?

http://www.sinart.asso.fr/updir/critique/247_3.jpg http://www.sinart.asso.fr/updir/critique/247_2.jpg

Cherry 2000 is pretty offbeat stuff that plays more like a wacky cyberpunk comedy adventure, than an action movie. It's a little slow at times, and the production values are decidedly second rate, but the film is full of ideas, and always entertaining. Griffith is the best thing about the movie though, I've always liked her kooky screen presence, and here she's really sexy and cool (especially if you're fifteen years old). Plus the chemistry between her and David Andrews is quite charming. We also get the late Brion James in a small role as a rival tracker, and Lawrence Fishburn as a futuristic lawyer. All in all this is a weird, quirky little sleeper of a b-movie, ideal as a midnight indulgence, and well worth a look. Just don't expect breath taking action scenes.

mark f

08-22-08, 06:56 PM

Used Future

08-22-08, 08:13 PM

Well, I actually saw Starcrash at the theatre(!!) and Cherry 2000 on cable about 20 years ago, but I've only seen them once, and I missed out on Contamination. From my ratings at the time and my memory, I'd give Starcrash a generous 1.5 and Cherry 2000 a 2.5. I'm just sorry that I can't really add any details about the films. The only thing I distinctly recall about Starcrash was that it seemed like some kid decided to make his own Star Wars film, but he used Tinker Toys. Oh, and it had scantily-clad women.

My dad rented me Starcrash back in the 80's as it only had a PG rating (I guess it still has). I remember thinking it was great at the time, there was a C3PO style sidekick, and even a lightsaber fight between Hasselhoff and two robots. I seem to remember a big space station that was painted in rainbow colors too.

I think your rating of Cherry 2000 is a little on the mean side though. For a cheapo movie it's pretty entertaining stuff, I have a copy on VHS.

Sawman3

08-22-08, 08:36 PM

It's really the kind of thing that you have to be in the mood for though....

Anyway, great thread so far, Future. Looking forward to the rest :)

Used Future

08-23-08, 10:33 AM

http://ia.media-imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/79/30/32m.jpg http://www.monstrula.de/filme/mutant/pic1.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/97/Forbidden_world.jpg/200px-Forbidden_world.jpg http://www.monstrula.de/filme/mutant/pic4.jpg

Forbidden World aka Mutant (Allan Holzman 1982) 2 Trash rating 3
Forbidden World was another product of Roger Corman's New World Pictures (Corman was the producer). It's an unofficial sequel of sorts to the 1981 film Galaxy of Terror (see my top 100), and if you've seen that one, you should have an idea of what to expect here. Yes the film is yet another bargain basement Alien clone, it has an even smaller budget than Bruce D. Clark's effort, and like the aforementioned, also recycles footage from Corman's Battle Beyond the Stars.

Jesse Vint plays Mike Colby an intergalactic troubleshooter called in to sort out a scientific experiment gone wrong on the planet Xarbia. Mike's a likable sort, with an eye for the ladies, and a cute robot sidekick that talks like it's just inhaled the entire world supply of helium. On arriving at the research center, he quickly seduces the female scientists (we get some soft porn), and takes a look at Subject 20, a disastrous attempt to genetically engineer food. Subject 20 looks like something a twelve year old might make for a school science project (i.e. an undefinable mess), but nevertheless all ensemble are terrified of it. Soon the thing evolves into a Giger-esque Alien reject (pictured top) and goes on the rampage. Eventually they isolate the pesky critter in a lab and attempt to communicate with it through a computer (in a feeble attempt to homage Close Encounters), but Subject 20 ain't very friendly. Naturally they then decide on extermination using the well known technique of feeding it a cancerous human liver and watching it vomit to death (I kid you not).

http://www.filmflausen.de/images/mutante1.jpg http://www.filmflausen.de/images/mutante3.jpg

I love cheesy Alien rip offs, there were a whole slew of them back in the early 80's, and after Galaxy of Terror this is one of the best. The cast featuring the likes of Linden Chiles as Dr. Hauser, and June Chadwick as Dr. Glaser, are all delightfully hammy, and provide plenty of ironic laughs. There's also some gore, plenty of goo, and an amusingly hokey monster. Your enjoyment of this movie however, will completely depend on your tolerance for micro budgeted trash, as the direction and effects on show are laughable. That doesn't mean it's boring though, far from it. Forbidden World doesn't try to be anything other than a tongue in cheek b-movie, and with Corman producing (a man who knew the genre inside out) it delivers on its tacky premise. If you like cheapo early 80's sci-fi, and can manage to get hold of a copy chances are you'll enjoy this one.

Used Future

08-23-08, 12:49 PM

http://www.thedigitalbits.com/doogansviews/discart/streettrash.jpg http://www.digitallyobsessed.com/cover_art3/streettrash.jpg http://www.badmovies.org/movies/streettrash/streettrash1.jpg

Street Trash (J. Michael Muro 1987) 3.5 Trash rating 5

Street Trash isn't easily definable by genre, it's neither a straight horror movie, nor is it science fiction. The old 80's vhs cover proudly proclaims that Street Trash is in fact a 'melt movie', hardly a prolific sub genre of film. I can only think of two other examples, namely William Sachs's 1977 crapfest The Incredible Melting Man, and Philip Brophy's yawn worthy 1993 effort Body Melt. Street Trash is certainly better than those films, but that's hardly a stellar recommendation, so let me elaborate.

The plot (what there is of it) concerns a group of bums who live in a scrap yard and their generally depraved day to day activities. These include shop lifting, beating each other up, and of course drinking themselves to death. When Ed the local shopkeeper finds an old crate of liquor called 'Tenafly Viper' behind a wall in his basement, he knocks the stuff out to the bums for one buck a bottle. Only problem is the stuff is incredibly toxic and melts whoever drinks it into a pile of colorful slime. Naturally he doesn't get many repeat customers, and when bums start turning up dead, enter Bill the cop (yup that's his name) to investigate. Bill is nastier than the bums, and makes Dirty Harry look like Snow White. Anyone who gets in his way (including the local mobsters) get beaten up, and in one scene, vomited on in a public toilet. Thing is, Bill isn't the only bad dude on the block, as the bums are led by Bronson, a thoroughly repellent Vietnam Vet with a knife carved from a human femur, and a girlfriend to give you nightmares.

http://www.dvdinmypants.com/reviews/O-V/images/streetmelt3.jpg http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3214/2704977414_3eff81ac21.jpg?v=0

Street Trash is probably the most disgusting, grimy, depraved film I've ever seen, you simply must watch it. It's a real fringe piece, and doesn't pull any punches in the bad taste department. We get everything here from a man playing piggy in the middle after his penis is ripped off, to necrophilia, gang rape, gore, and of course melting bums. All the leads in the movie are terrible, but the support from the likes of Tony Darrow as Nick Duran the local mob boss, Vic Noto as Bronson, and James Lorinz as an obnoxious doorman are all rather good. The makeup effects are above average too, as vagrants by turns melt and explode in vivid rainbows of slimy goo. Jim Muro's camera work verges on the virtuoso at times and is often reminiscent of Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead. It's also worth noting that James Cameron went on to employ him as a cameraman for Terminator 2 and True Lies. Street Trash is an underground favourite amongst gore aficionados and fans of extreme cinema. They simply don't make films like this anymore, so if you like bad taste gore trash and haven't seen it, then I highly recommend picking up the R1 special edition dvd. I guarantee, good or bad, it'll be an experience you wont forget in a hurry. Oh, and the closing credits are hilarious.

Justin

08-23-08, 01:02 PM

Nice thread! I need to see a lot of these...

Used Future

08-23-08, 03:52 PM

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/08/139508.jpg http://www.badmovies.org/movies/parasite/parasite6.jpg

Parasite (Charles Band 1982) 1 Trash rating 1.5
Oh dear, oh dear oh dear oh dear. Parasite is another early 80's Mad Max/Alien rip off originally shown in 3-D, and notable only for Demi Moore in her first starring role. It's a Charles Band flick, the man behind Empire and Full Moon pictures, which in turn made franchises like The Puppet Master and Trancers films. Band has become something of a cult figure over the years, kind of a latter day Roger Corman, his output (mainly as a producer) has been prolific, sometimes fun, but often substandard. Parasite was Band's third directorial effort, and has a microscopic budget, that fact that it's bad goes without saying, every film in this thread is bad. No Parasite is worse than bad, it stinks, it's slow, it's boring, and perhaps most unforgivably for this kind of movie, contains very little gore, and no nudity.

Set in post nuke America circa 1992, the story starts off in a scientific laboratory (possibly Charles Band's garage) where Dr. Paul Dean (Robert Glaudini) sets about fleeing evil government officials. Paul's been busy breeding parasites for biological warfare, and realizing the error of his ways, escapes with one growing inside him, and another in a canister. Off he goes to hide in the best place imaginable, yup a small California desert town. There he sets about trying to remove his parasite, but manages to fall out with the local gang of mullet wearing punks instead. Before you can say Parasite city, said punks open the canister, unleashing one of the critters. There's also a 'merchant' (government agent) on Paul's ass, who not only wants the parasites, but also drives a Lamborghini Countach (what a badass) and has a rather duff looking lightsabre that he likes to wave around. Luckily Paul has befriended Patricia Wells (Demi Moore) a cute farmer who doesn't take any crap. She helps him find a cure for his unwelcome guest, and deals with the thugs.

http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1982_Parasite/Thumb/982PRS_Vivian_Blaine_009.jpg http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1982_Parasite/Thumb/982PRS_Tom_Villard_003.jpg http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1982_Parasite/Thumb/982PRS_Luca_Bercovici_004.jpg

On its release Parasite's main selling point was the 3-D, and a scene in which a parasite bursts through Vivian Blaine's face leaping off the screen. Seen as that's lost on video, then there's really nothing to recommend this movie. Unless you're a Demi Moore/Charles Band completist, or just a masochist who gets off on boredom then I'd steer well clear. I usually love post apocalyptic trash, but here it's rendered so unconvincingly (not a matte painting or model in sight) that you'd swear they didn't even try. Stan Winston was apparently head of the makeup department for the film, but his influence is nowhere to be seen, because the makeups are rubbish. The fact that Parasite is played completely straight is just the final nail in the coffin. Avoid.

Used Future

08-24-08, 09:46 AM

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/section/movies/amg/video/cov120/drv000/v021/v02189uayrq.jpg http://www.filmbrutti.com/images/imdirect.php?load=459

The Borrower (John McNaughton 1989) 2.5 Trash rating 3
This was McNaughton's follow up to his now infamous Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. The film was completed in 1989 but due to distribution issues, wasn't released until 1991. It had a brief theatrical run in the US before hitting the video shelves, and disappearing into obscurity. It's always struck me as strange that after such a powerfully disturbing film, McNaughton went on to make what on the surface appears to be a hokey slice of sci-fi, so is it any good?

The film is about an insectoid alien criminal that gets sentenced to a life on earth in human form as punishment. As if that wasn't bad enough it also turns out his alien biology isn't compatible with homo sapiens, causing his heads to intermittently explode. Naturally this sets him on a constant hunt for new noggins, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. Enter detective Diana Pierce (Rae Dawn Chong) who whilst on the trail of another serial killer, miraculously manages to piece it all together. As expected she has a hard job convincing her colleagues, that is until the two cases collide.

http://www.filmbrutti.com/images/imdirect.php?load=456 http://www.glowria.fr/img/upload/14822.jpeg

Although clearly daft, The Borrower is a surprisingly enjoyable romp, full of black humor, and offbeat characters. The story is derivative of Jack Sholder's 1987 flick The Hidden, but McNaughton injects some visual style and decent twists to keep things interesting. Gore fans wont be left disappointed either, there's certainly plenty of claret flying around, though sometimes Kevin Yagher's makeups are decidedly substandard. This is most apparent when the alien switches heads, as his body seems to change along with them. The cast are interesting though, not least Antonio Fargas (best known for playing Huggy Bear in TV's Starsky and Hutch) who falls victim to the head swapping. The film also has a cracking opening electrofunk style theme tune that really sets the tone. All in all this is a passable b-movie, that suffers from one false climax too many. Genre fans will no doubt enjoy it, but it's certainly not the best of its type.

Used Future

08-24-08, 11:37 AM

http://www.feoamante.com/Movies/K/kindred.jpg http://carlosserrano.blogdiario.com/img/2.jpg

The Kindred (Stephen Carpenter & Jeffrey Obrow 1987) 3 Trash rating 4
The Kindred is Carpenter and Obrow's third directorial feature, the previous two (which I thankfully haven't seen) being the 1984 possession flick The Power, and 1981 generic slasher The Dorm that Dripped Blood. Neither have done anything particularly noteworthy since, unless you count Carpenter's forgettable 2001 teen horror Soul Survivors starring Casey Affleck. The Kindred on the other hand is a rather good homage to old 1950's monster movies, with a decent cast.

The plot kicks off with a body snatching scene, followed by elderly scientist (Kim Hunter) on her hospital death bed, who tells her son John (David Allen Brooks) to destroy her genetic research. Much to John's horror, she also tells him that he has a brother called Anthony, who she kept a secret. John then bumps into the mysterious Melissa (the lovely Amanda Pays) also a scientist, who persuades him to let her join him in examining his mother's research. The two head off to his mother's house with some of John's friends, where Anthony (the slimy result of gene splicing man and fish) lays wait. Hot on their trail is the sinister Dr. Lloyd (Rod Steiger) who wants to capture Anthony and use him to further his own evil experiments.

http://videodetective.com/photos/196/008268_8.jpg http://videodetective.com/photos/014/000615_42.jpg

The Kindred is a lot of fun, and has some pretty good scares, especially the scene in which Dr. Lloyd locks a potential blackmailer in a dark basement with homicidal mutants. The likable cast (most of whom play it completely straight) are all great for this kind of fare, particularly Steiger (though his wig is hilarious). Plus Tammy Grimaldo and Matthew W. Mungle's makeups are often impressive, not least the human to fish transformation sequence. To sum up this is underrated stuff that no doubt plays a lot better now that it did back in the 80's. If you enjoyed Stuart Gordon's From Beyond, or just like monster movies in general, then you could do a lot worse than The Kindred.

mark f

08-25-08, 12:40 AM

By a simple twist of fate, I watched this (http://www.movieforums.com/community/showpost.php?p=456978&postcount=7749) yesterday morning.

Used Future

08-25-08, 10:39 AM

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/section/movies/amg/dvd/cov150/drt000/t029/t02925fccbm.jpg http://subterranean.up.seesaa.net/image/mhfd2.jpg

Humanoids from the Deep aka Monster (Barbara Peters 1980) 4 Trash rating 5

Another product of Roger Corman's New World Pictures, Humanoids from the Deep was part of a wave of Jaws cash-ins stretching from the mid 70's into the early 80's. These included Joe Dante's Piranha (1978), Lewis Teague's Alligator (1980), Jeffrey Bloom's Blood Beach (1981), and most unforgivably, Ovidio Assonitis's (as Oliver Hellman) Tentacles (1976). Humanoids also plays on the psycho sexual horror sub themes explored in Ridley Scott's Alien, though it does this with a complete lack of subtlety (sometimes sickeningly so). Not surprisingly the film sparked a media controversy, as feminist groups voiced their disgust at the films rape scenes. An angle made all the more shocking by the fact the director was a woman. It's since been reported that these sequences were edited into the movie (at the request of Corman himself) after Peters had finished (she went on to publicly denounce the film). So with all this hoo-ha, the key question is, does Humanoids from the Deep cut the mustard? My answer? Oh yes my friends! it most certainly does.

The film is set in a small north California fishing village where a number of beach going young men are brutally murdered, and their girlfriends raped whilst sunbathing. Enter the films hero Jim Hill (monster favourite Doug McClure) we know he's the hero because he sticks up for a Native American, Johny Eagle (Anthony Pena) who's being bullied by the the local rednecks, led by Hank Slattery (Vic Morrow). Jim then sets about solving the mystery of the murders with the help of scientist Dr. Susan Drake (Ann Turkel). She works for the local cannery and fesses up to genetically modifying salmon in order to accelerate growth and improve local fish stocks. It turns out the modified salmon have accidentally been released/escaped into the ocean and mated with a predatory species. The result? you got it, evolved single sex humanoid amphibians that need to mate with young girls to propagate their species. Before Jim and Susan can convince the backward locals however, the randy mutants gatecrash the towns annual Salmon festival wreaking havoc.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2277/2071603230_429e5cca53.jpg?v=0

Humanoids from the Deep is often unintentionally funny, and always hugely entertaining. Rob Bottin's makeups and monster suits are disgustingly good, the creatures themselves looking very similar to The Creature from the Black Lagoon. The film is in essence the same story taken to it's inevitable sickening conclusion, though elements from Alien and Jaws are also clearly evident. When you consider the people involved with this movie, it's not hard to see why it's so much fun. The music was scored by James Horner, Gale Anne Hurd was a production assistant, and of course Bottin and Corman I've already mentioned. Humanoids is an absolute must for Monster and gore fans, the film is a riot from beginning to end, with plenty of splatter (especially the shocking finale) and all round mayhem. The film is one of my all time favourite trash movies, with perhaps the only criticism I could level at it being the rather distasteful rape angle. Still, b-movie lovers need to seek this one out, it's pure gold. Be careful though, the film was remade (extremely badly) as a TV movie in 1996, avoid that one.

Used Future

08-25-08, 12:38 PM

http://www.ravenousmedia.com/images/reviews/28.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images/movie_pix_j-p/nightmare_city01.jpg

Nightmare City aka City of the Walking Dead (Umberto Lenzi 1980) 1.5 Trash rating 2.5
Umberto Lenzi is an Italian director best known for his 1981 vomit worthy, and controversial jungle flick, Cannibal Ferox. Not renowned for his subtlety (or his talent) Lenzi's films are notable for their high gore content, inept direction, and exploitative depiction of women (usually involving lots of sadistic violence and nudity). He's probably one of Italy's worst film makers along with Bruno Mattei (a borderline plagiarist), though Mattei's films are a lot more fun (see his 1990 film Shocking Dark aka Terminator II to see what I mean). After Cannibal Ferox, Nightmare City is Lenzi's best known film (both titles were 'video nasties') it's also violent, bloody, and very very baad.

The film is yet another zombie cash in, one of a bunch of Italian movies from the early 80's that aped Romero's Dawn of the Dead. The plot (there really isn't one) begins with Dean Miller (Hugo Stiglitz) a news reporter waiting at an airport to interview a Scientist due to arrive there. The plane lands, and for no apparent reason a group of zombies run out (yes these zombies run) and proceed to kill assorted airport personnel, even brandishing knifes and shooting machine guns (!?). Miller captures the attack on camera, but is prevented from warning the city by Major Warren Holmes (Francisco Rabal). It turns out the 'zombies' are actually contaminated by radiation, and soon they're running amok through the city streets (and in one crazy sequence a television studio) infecting everyone else. Miller proceeds to locate his wife Dr. Anna Miller (Laura Trotter) and together they attempt to escape to the countryside.

http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images/movie_pix_j-p/nightmare_city03.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images/movie_pix_j-p/nightmare_city11.jpg http://www.juicycerebellum.com/nightmarecity01.jpg

Pretty much everything about Nightmare City is bottom of the barrel stuff. The makeups in many cases are completely awful, a lot of the zombies literally looking as if dirt was merely smeared on their faces. Logic and plot are out of the window too, we're given practically no explanation as to where the creatures have come from, instead we're just supposed to revel in the films mindless slaughter (including a breast amputation and an eyeball impalement). In it's favor the film is non stop action, but it's so ineptly realized as to be completely ridiculous. Perhaps the only interesting thing about Nightmare City is the creatures intelligence, their ability to run and shoot guns (which is often funny). Danny Boyle and Alex Garland must surely have been aware of this before they made the overrated (and plagiarist) 28 Days Later. Clearly many people are fond of this flick though, not least Quentin Tarantino, who claims that along with Zombi 2, Nightmare City is one of his favourite Italian zombie films. So maybe I've got it all wrong, don't say I didn't warn you though. Incidentally I did like Stelvio Cipriani's typically Italian soundtrack.

Used Future

08-26-08, 11:38 AM

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C.H.U.D. (Douglas Cheek 1984) 2.5 Trash rating 4
C.H.U.D. is director Douglas Cheek's (an appropriate surname) only theatrical feature, he's since become a television editor and hasn't returned to the horror genre. The story was written by first timer Shepard Abbott and adapted into a screenplay (that wasn't very popular) by Parnell Hall , neither have written anything else. If this all sounds pretty ominous, and you're thinking, boy, it must be a great movie...not! Well then you'd be right, sort of. You see C.H.U.D. did very well on video back in the 80's, the film built up a cult following, and even spawned a sequel in 1989 (one of the worst films I've ever seen) C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud. A lot of this was probably down the films intriguing title, (which stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers), it's effective poster art, and inevitable reputation. Yes, the film is regarded by many as one of the trashiest of the decade, but it's really not that bad. Underneath all the flaws, C.H.U.D. can actually be pretty enjoyable, and has a great b-movie cast (most of whom were already friends).

The story concerns the mysterious disappearance of a group of bums in New York investigated by police detective Bosch (Christopher Curry) whose own wife ends up going missing. Bosch makes inquiries at the local soup kitchen after an old acquaintance, A.J. Shepherd nicknamed 'Reverend' (Daniel Stern who looks like he's been sweeping chimneys) files a report of missing 'undergrounders'. A.J. trusted by the homeless community, helps Bosch out, their investigation leading them into the city sewer system. Whilst all this is going on we also follow photo journalist George Cooper (John Heard),who's doing an article on homeless people living in the sewers. After further investigation A.J. and Bosch discover a cover up by city officials, as it turns out they've been dumping radioactive waste in the sewers. Naturally this has been turning the derelicts into C.H.U.D.'s, who feed on human flesh, regularly making trips topside for food. With the situation out of control, the city big wigs gas the sewers in an attempt the exterminate the C.H.U.D.s. Only problem is, some of our plucky heroes are still down there...

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C.H.U.D.'s main problem is the editing which is often muddled (the film has apparently been re-cut for it's dvd release). Characters like Heard (although introduced at the beginning) only become involved with the main plot halfway through, and as such feel tacked on slowing down the narrative. Where the film does succeed is with the cast, many of them playing offbeat roles (especially Stern). They all seem to be having a good time, and as such the film (despite the slow pace) is always watchable. We also get Kim Greist as Cooper's girlfriend, and look out for John Goodman, who briefly appears as an unlucky cop. John Caglione Jr's makeup effects are the films highlight though (they were overseen by Ed French who worked on Terminator 2 amongst other things), the glow eyed monsters look very cool and creepy, even if we don't get to see that much of them. C.H.U.D. also has an effective 1980's minimal electronic score, and some nice murky sewer photography, giving it a gleefully grimy, trashy feel. Overall though C.H.U.D. is merely passable fare, a bit of a missed opportunity really, because the premise is rather good. A remake has been rumored, though it's yet to be confirmed.

Sedai

08-26-08, 11:54 AM

This is becoming one of my favorite threads on MoFo...

The Kindred scared the **** out of me when I was a boy... I have yet to watch it again!

Used Future

08-26-08, 12:09 PM

This is becoming one of my favorite threads on MoFo...

The Kindred scared the **** out of me when I was a boy... I have yet to watch it again!

Thanks Sedai,

glad someone is enjoying this, I've not had much feedback, and was considering knocking it on the head. Sadly it seems no-one wants to know about these films anymore, which is a shame because some of them really are a lot of fun. Maybe my title is a little unclear, I probably should have called it something like 'Gory 80's Horror films', you know...for kids.

Sedai

08-26-08, 12:15 PM

Swedish Chef

08-26-08, 12:26 PM

Used Future

08-26-08, 12:39 PM

Hudsucker! ;)

Well, the thread does get traffic, and I think some of the folks have already dug some of these up and watched (see Mark's post).

That said, these films are probably only of interest to a certain type of viewer, and, just where is our favorite post-apoc film?? ;)

I presume Parsifal et al. will be making an appearance?

Yeah 2019 (which I've just realized is also the year Blade Runner was set in)will be in here somewhere. I've not done it yet because we've mentioned it recently and I want to start with films people may not be familiar with.

I totally appreciate that many of these movies are on the fringe, and therefore not for general consumption. I decided to do it because there seem to be a lot of young horror fans on MoFo, and I thought they might find it interesting. Still, what with CGI mega budget flicks being the choice of today, these titles probably aren't that appealing to teenagers now. I certainly wasn't interested in 60's horror when I was fifteen. What the kids don't seem to realize though, is that the horror films made in the 80's were often bloodier than their contemporary counterparts.

Nevertheless I enjoy writing these reviews, and will continue to post them. Hopefully the thread will become a grower.

Used Future

08-26-08, 01:05 PM

Yeah, don't knock it on the head, UF. I've been reading and enjoying these write ups since you started. Top notch stuff, really. The only one of these flicks I've seen is CHUD, which I think is a pretty kickass movie. The fact that you only gave it a 2.5 makes me wanna check out some of this other trash all the more.

And the thread title is perfect, sir. Keep up the good work :up:

Thanks for the kind words Chef, I honestly thought Mark f was the only one reading this. I'm definitely going to continue the thread now, there's a lot more where these came from. ;)

Used Future

08-26-08, 02:45 PM

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C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud (David Irving 1989) 1 Trash rating 1
This is an in name only, comedy sequel to C.H.U.D. directed by David Irving, who thankfully went on to do very little else (I wonder why?). The story (which stinks) was written by Ed Naha, whose only other notable contribution to cinema was co scripting another lousy sequel, namely the 1992 turkey Honey I Blew Up the Kid. Both have gone on to work in US television on programs, which being British, I thankfully haven't had to sit through. What do I think should be done with these men? Well to paraphrase Dean Wormer in Animal House, 'They should string em' up by the balls, that's what they should do!!!'. Why UF? because C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud is irredeemable crap unworthy of a chimpanzee.

The story is about two high school morons, Steve (Brian Robbins from US TV show Head of the Class) and Kevin (Bill Calvert). Steve and Kevin steal a corpse (a criminally wasted Gerrit Graham pictured above) from a government science lab. The corpse turns out to be the last of the C.H.U.D.s, (even though it looks nothing like them) and proceeds to go on a slapstick rampage after the idiots thaw it out. Before you can press the dvd eject button there's a whole legion of the things on the loose. We also get Robert Vaughn (really slumming it here) as Colonel Masters, a hammy army bod who wants Bud (surely a nod to Bub) back. *Groan*

http://www.port.hu/picture/instance_2/70207_2.jpg http://www.radioactivereviews.com/chud2_pic5.jpg

Gerrit Graham (a gifted comedian) is the only decent thing about this movie. I have to concede that his portrayal of Bud is often funny, but nothing else about the film is. The fact that Graham isn't on screen most of the time just serves as a further reminder of how bad this thing is. The makeup effects are the real joke though, the C.H.U.D.s literally look like rejects from Romero's Night of the Living Dead, or better still, drug addicts. I mean take a look at the creatures in the original film, then look at Graham in this. The whole thing is labored and forced as to be excruciating, and the likes of Vaughn clearly look embarrassed. The film does have one good scene involving a swimming pool at the end, but you'll probably have given up long beforehand. Apparently some people do like this garbage...I wasn't aware they had a rental service at the local nut house.

Powdered Water

08-26-08, 09:00 PM

I like the thread just fine UF. I hesitate to post much in here though because I don't really get the feeling you like to debate or exchange thoughts on some of these flicks. Especially the ones you don't like. I've seen several of these and will definitely be on the lookout for several of the other titles you've mentioned.

So keep on writing them up, or don't. I happen to love most of these movies in one way or another. I have hundreds of them here at home and I watch them quite a bit.

I will say this about C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D., the theme song was bangin'.

Used Future

08-26-08, 09:23 PM

I like the thread just fine UF. I hesitate to post much in here though because I don't really get the feeling you like to debate or exchange thoughts on some of these flicks. Especially the ones you don't like.

So keep on writing them up, or don't.

Ouch!!!

whatever gave you that idea? You're not still smarting over my Doomsday review are you? Or was it my comments in my 100 Favourites thread? The only reason I didn't want to get drawn into debate there was because I was busy writing the thread (which took me a while) and didn't want to get sidetracked.

The Prestige

08-26-08, 09:38 PM

Can't say i'm a big fan of these types of films, but you have definitely encouraged me to give a couple of them a go. Man, you do love your cult flicks though..

Used Future

08-27-08, 08:34 AM

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Neon Maniacs (Joseph Mangine 1986) 1 Trash rating 1
*Sigh* Joseph Mangine's only other notable feature was his 1991 disaster Alligator II: The Mutation, and if you rented that one, then you have my condolences. The film (I'm back to Neon Maniacs now) was scripted by Mark Patric Carducci who also wrote 1988's Pumpkinhead aka Vengeance: The Demon, which was actually pretty good. So hey! Neon Maniacs might actually be pretty good too, right? Wrong! I mean just take a look at the two guys pictured. No, Neon Maniacs is a classic case of nice title, shame about the movie.

The film opens with a fisherman near the Golden Gate bridge who finds what looks like some kind of role playing card. Before you can say 'Top Trumps' the poor fellow gets decapitated by some lunatic (we don't get any gore though). It turns out a group of particularly rubbery monsters (all of whom look like they went hog wild in a fancy dress shop) live beneath said bridge, coming out at night to murder unsuspecting teens. We're then introduced to your usual bunch of high schoolers including the hero Steven (Allan Hayes) and his crush Natalie (Leilani Sarelle). Natalie's in with the jocks though, and off they go to the park to drink beer and get in each others pants. Out come the Neon Maniacs who proceed to slaughter all of them (minimal gore again) in a variety of ways. One of the monsters is a samurai, one's a caveman, another is a one eyed blob etc etc. Only Natalie survives, and naturally she's traumatized, so along comes Steven to provide moral support. She's also hounded by plucky horror buff Paula (Donna Locke) who starts piecing it all together, all whilst wearing an over sized Nostromo cap. Together they foil the monsters at a battle of the bands contest, when the realization dawns that they can be destroyed by water.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/neonmaniacs/neonmaniacs6.jpg

Neon Maniacs looks like a lot of fun, but don't be fooled as in reality it's incredibly boring and dumb. Where the monsters come from, and why they all dress in such ridiculous outfits is never explained. They're never referred to as Neon Maniacs by any of the characters either, the only mention of the name comes in an extremely naff voice over at the beginning of the film. The movie has very little to offer horror fans, it's too daft to be scary, and please allow me to reiterate, there's hardly any gore on offer. I mean are we really supposed to be afraid of a group of ghouls that turn tail at the first sight of rain? What a bunch of sissies. The film doesn't really work as an unintentional comedy either. Yes the monsters look stupid, but you never get the feeling from Mangine or the cast that it's all for laughs. There isn't even a cool 80's soundtrack on offer, as most of the incidental music is horribly slushy. I suspect that Mangine was trying to create a Nightmare on Elm Street style franchise, with colorful monsters, and a story left open for a sequel. Thank god no-one bought into it. Oh and just in case I forgot to mention it, there's hardly any gore.

Used Future

08-27-08, 06:49 PM

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Dead Heat (Mark Goldblatt 1988) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
Mark Goldblatt has only ever directed two feature films, Dead Heat being the first of them. He followed it up with The Punisher starring Dolph Lundgren in 1989, and well, that was the end of that. Most of Goldblatt's work has been as an editor working on successful high profile movies, such as Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Pearl Harbor, Hollow Man, and Starship Troopers. The story for Dead Heat was written by a guy called Terry Black who also scripted some episodes for the Tales from the Crypt television series. Though other than that, he's been pretty quiet since. With Dead Heat they clearly set out to make a fun tongue in cheek buddy/horror movie, and you know what? they almost pulled it off.

In the film we follow cop duo Roger Mortis (geddit?) played by Treat Williams, and Doug Bigelow, an over the top Joe Piscopo. The opening scene has them foil a couple of jewelry store robbers who've committed a string of robberies, and seem invulnerable to bullets. Finally they manage to kill them, but on taking the bodies to the morgue, learn that they were already dead. The pair play connect the dots with the clues and visit a sinister research lab where they meet Randi James (Lindsay Frost) who isn't all she seems. They also discover a machine that brings the dead back to life, and before you know it, Mortis gets whacked (suffocated to be exact). Yup, in the machine he goes, and bingo, one invincible zombie cop. The rest of the movie has the pair (aided by Randi) uncover the conspiracy behind the machine and its real purpose. A trail that eventually leads them to millionaire Arthur P. Loudermilk played by none other than Vincent Price. Only problem is Mortis is steadily rotting away...

http://analogmedium.com/blog/2007/06/deadheat1.jpg

Dead Heat may be cheap and ridiculous, but it sure is a lot of fun. Imagine Lethal Weapon meets Death Becomes Her by way of Re-Animator, and you've pretty much got this movie. There are flaws aplenty though, not least the performance from Piscopo, which has to be the worst case of mugging I've ever seen. He's amusing at first, but soon becomes like an annoying smirking kid, that has to drop wise cracks (mainly misses) into every scene. Treat Williams is good though, I always find him highly watchable, and Dead Heat is no exception. The addition (although brief) of Price in one of his last roles, is another plus, the old master showing he still had it right into old age. The effects on the other hand are rather uneven. There's one knockout sequence in a Chinese restaurant involving some nifty creatures, but the zombie makeups (particularly Mortis) aren't that impressive. One minute he's starting to decay, the next he looks right as rain, definitely a few continuity issues there. Overall though Dead Heat is fun disposable trash that zips along nicely providing plenty of cheesy action. Definitely worth picking up cheap, even if only to marvel at Piscopo's mugging tour de force.

mark f

08-27-08, 08:08 PM

I'd agree with your rating of Dead Heat. That's another film I watched at the theatre 20 years ago, but I don't recall ever watching it again. I also agree that Williams is his usual good self, even in what amounts to a gross-out action comedy. Terry Black is obviously not as successful or as well-paid as his brother Shane, but this film would seem to be up the alley of our member The Gnat. In fact, this whole thread seems to be up his alley. :cool:

Used Future

08-28-08, 01:28 PM

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Creepozoids (David DeCoteau 1987) 1 Trash rating 2
David DeCoteau is a prolific film maker who stays mainly within the horror genre. He's probably best known for giving the world Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge (1991), but also delivered the likes of Voodoo Academy (2000), Speed Demon (2003) and let's not forget the classic, Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island (1998). What a guy! he sure does churn em' out does Dave. Oh! and let's not forget his buddy, Buford Hauser, who helped him write this (Creepozoids) garbage. Unsurprisingly Buford hasn't had much work since, I can't think why. Yes Creepozoids stinks, but hey! you already knew that right.

The story is about some army lunkheads who 'after a nuclear war' *groan* (which according to this movie took place in 1992) shelter from acid rain in an abandoned government research facilty. (When I say research facility I actually mean the nearest warehouse DeCoteau could find). These army types are really tough, we know this because they haven't had a bath in years, and have names like Butch, Jesse, and Jake. There are also female soldiers called Bianca (Linnea Quigley), and Kate who also need a good wash. Of course the facility turns out to be full of experimental mutants that pick them off one by one. These include giant rats, a beast with huge tusks, and a mutated baby that wont stay dead.

http://www.ehf.cz/foto/ukazky2/ae/creepozoids87b.jpg http://www.ehf.cz/foto/ukazky2/ae/creepozoids87a.jpg

Creepozoids is one of those films that looks and sounds like it was shot on home video. Everything about the film is bad, the location, the acting, the story, and especially the effects. For most of the movie the characters do nothing but scream, run down corridors, and crawl around in ventilation shafts. When we do get some action, it's inept to point of hilarity, especially the giant rat sequence. The rodents are so static that characters literally have to wave them around in a desperate attempt to fake a struggle. The films showstopper though, has to be the climactic mutant baby fight (surely a nod to Larry Cohen's It's Alive 1974). Cue lots more doll shaking and falling over in a scene that if it wasn't played so straight, you'd swear was meant as slapstick farce. Creepozoids is only really noteworthy for 80's scream queen Linnea Quigley, (best known for her graveyard strip in Dan O'Bannon's The Return of the Living Dead 1985). She gets her kit off here in a soapy shower scene near the beginning of the film, but doesn't do much else. All told Creepozoids is boring gutter trash that looks like it was made in an afternoon. Unless you're a Quigley obsessive, or simply a glutton for punishment then steer well clear.

Used Future

08-28-08, 04:53 PM

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Turkey Shoot aka Blood Camp Thatcher aka Escape 2000 (Brian Trenchard-Smith 1982) 2 Trash rating 2.5
Since the early 90's most of British director Trenchard-Smith's work has been in TV movies. His last foray into film was Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) which thankfully went straight to video, and can probably be found in any number of pound shop bargain bins. He's not really done anything else of note unless you count BMX Bandits (1983) memorable only for the fact that it was Nicole Kidman's first film. Turkey Shoot was an Australian production filmed in north Queensland, and has a cult following amongst trash lovers. The film features a mixture of American, British and Australian actors, including a couple who appeared in George Miller's Mad Max (1979). It's had a nasty reputation ever since the BBFC (British Board of Film Clasification) hacked it to bits due to scenes of sadistic torture and gore. So let's give it the once over...

Set in a totalitarian near future (we don't know exactly when), Turkey Shoot has a nice opening credits sequence showing real footage of riots and marches. We then pick up with activist Paul Anders (Steve Railsback) who gets arrested whilst inciting riots over a radio. Next he's in a van being taking to a correctional facility, along with fellow prisoners, sensitive Chris Walters (the lovely Olivia Hussey) and Rita Daniels (Lynda Stoner). Once there they feel the full wrath of the guards, who regularly rape, torture, and kill prisoners, all supervised by Camp leader Charles Thatcher (Michael Craig) . It soon becomes apparent that Thatcher has an ulterior motive for running the camp, namely the hunting of select prisoners (ala The Most Dangerous Game 1932). Naturally Anders and co get picked, and off they go into the jungle with a three hour headstart, and a promise of freedom if they survive. On their trail are Thatcher with a sniper rifle, Jennifer (Carmen Duncan) a dominatrix with a crossbow, Secretary Mallory (Noel Ferrier) armed with poison dart gun, and Tito (Michael Petrovich) a luatic who drives a JCB, and has a pet werewolf freak (don't ask).

http://www.dvdcritiques.com/Backoffice/upload/3474/Capt_film.jpg http://www.jabootu.com/acolytes/bnotes/images/escape2kh.jpg

Turkey Shoot is pretty awful stuff that falls completely flat for a number of reasons. First off are the heroic characters, all of whom (with the exception of Hussey) are thouroughly unlikable and uninteresting. Railsback is supposed to be the hero, but he comes off like a one dimensional contrary school boy devoid of charm. The only good guy of any interest, (Bill Young as Griff) is underused and gets killed off early on. Carmen Duncan is the best thing about the film, she's delightfully nasty as Jennifer, kind of like a poor man's Joan Collins, and certainly brightens things up. The rest of the villains however, are just steriotypically sadistic in such a way as to make sure you don't forget who you're rooting for. I cared about Hussey's character, but the rest of them might just as well have been mincemeat. So all that left was the films reputation and action scenes. Yes it's bloody, but the effects on show are second rate at best. We get a man cut in half after having his eye poked out, another gets shot up with arrows, there's an impaling, a man explodes, another is burned alive, and most laughably Chief Guard Ritter (Roger Ward from Mad Max) who has both hands chopped off. The fact that he can be clearly seen hiding his hands up his sleeves just says it all really. Most of the films action involves hunters shooting at Railsback and co with such poor accuracy, you might as well be watching The A Team. It's watchable forgettable stuff with some nice scenery that passes the time, but nothing more. My advice? stick with Battle Royale.

Pyro Tramp

08-28-08, 06:21 PM

Mate, if these were readily available- i'd lap it up. I'm still flicking through though :)

Used Future

08-28-08, 06:59 PM

Mate, if these were readily available- i'd lap it up. I'm still flicking through though :)

They are readily available! With the exception of Humanoids from the Deep (which I own as Monster on vhs, the original warner home video no less) all these films can be easily acquired on ebay. I'm lucky though, as they have a film fair here in Manchester held in Sacha's hotel every two to three months. It's great because they have stalls with loads of import dvds from all over the world. I've been going for years and have managed to get most of the stuff I want (though Galaxy of Terror still eludes me on dvd, have to make do with my vhs).

Pyro Tramp

08-28-08, 07:06 PM

Used Future

08-28-08, 07:19 PM

Really? I meant HMV readily available, don't know if i'd pay over the odds for a film of eBay that only gets 2 lol. May have a look for the higher rated ones, after i got all the ones from your Top 100. Quite fancy The Hidden

I'm being very cagey with my ratings, trying to stay objective and fair. Don't want to mislead people into thinking these films are fantastic, they're an acquired taste to be sure. I'll usually hint in my reviews if the film is worth buying. Take Forbidden World for example, I only gave that one a two, but said in the review that it's enjoyable. I was also very hard on Contamination, but the fact is that movie is really cool, and one of my favourite trash movies. If I went and gave it three stars instead of one and a half, I'd be fooling people though. In essence it's mere junk, but very funny with it. Rating these movies is the hardest thing about doing these reviews, I'm constantly having to mark them down, which often hurts.

With that said however, hopefully it's just fun to read about them, without feeling the need to buy. I didn't create this thread to recommend movies to people, it's meant more as a bit of fun. Though horror fans looking to get into these types of films will hopefully find my reviews useful.

mark f

08-28-08, 07:58 PM

You could always list a "Trash rating" along with the other rating. The trash rating would obviously be higher than the other one. :cool:

Powdered Water

08-28-08, 08:23 PM

I like to call it; eek factor :eek:. Because I'm so witty that way.

Used Future

08-28-08, 08:56 PM

You could always list a "Trash rating" along with the other rating. The trash rating would obviously be higher than the other one. :cool:

Thanks Mark that's a great idea.

I'd been considering doing something similar, but felt it might detract from the validity of the reviews in some way. I'm going to use this idea though, it is indeed cool.

DeathDealer

08-28-08, 09:11 PM

And you didn't even mention Troll. The second one was good but the first one was just so stupid..
As for Chud, it will always be a classic, along with its sequel

Used Future

08-29-08, 10:23 AM

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The Blob (Chuck Russell 1988) 4 Trash rating 4
Chuck Russell made his directorial debut with A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) the most imaginative, and best of the series. He's made a total of six films in all, most successfully The Mask (1994) starring Jim Carey, but also the Schwarzenegger vehicle Eraser (1996), and The Scorpion King (2002) starring 'The Rock'. He followed up his Krueger installment with The Blob, a remake of the 1958 cult (but hardly classic) film of the same title directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr. A film that besides its hokey premise, was only notable for the fact that it was Steve McQueen's first starring role. Russell wrote the screenplay for his remake along with Frank Darabont who has since scripted The Shawshank Redemption (1994) and The Green Mile (1999) no less. The film loosley sticks to Theodore Simpson and Kay Linaker's original screenplay, all be it with added 1980's gusto and splatter.

The Blob begins with a tramp who on witnessing a meteorite landing in woodland, investigates the crater with his dog. Foolishly he decides to prod what's left of the rock with a stick, and before you know it, the slimey gunk has lept onto his hand. Enter Brian Flagg (Kevin Dillon) our motorbike riding antihero, who also saw the landing, and tries to help the old timer. When the stuff (which is growing) wont come off, he takes him to the hospital aided by love interest Meg (Shawnee Smith) and Paul (Donovan Leitch). Naturally the doctors prove useless, and soon the blob has quadrupled in size consuming everything in sight (including Paul). Off go Brian and Meg to warn the townsfolk who of course don't listen (Brian's none too popular with the local law enforcement) until the goo is the size of a house. Next thing you know, there's a bunch of sinister army scientists on the scene led by evil Dr. Meddows (Joe Senaca) complete with biohazard suits and machine guns. Far from being saviours, the military once again turn out to have their own morally dubious agenda. It's left to Brian and Meg to save the day before the blob eats everything in sight, a task aided by their discovery that it doesn't like the cold.

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The Blob is bafflingly underrated stuff, that's been largely overlooked and sadly forgotten by many. Certainly better than the original film, Russell's remake has a great sense of fun, is well paced, and has some eye popping special effects. The b-movie cast is great too, with the likes of Art LaFleur as Mr. Penny, Candy Clark as Fran, and Jeffrey DeMunn as Sherriff Geller. Russell clearly knows what the audience wants from this type of fare, and provides it in spades. The film has some neat in jokes, not the least the sequence with a couple in a car stalked by a masked killer. Before you can scratch your head in puzzlement, the camera pans out revealing everyone in a cinema. Other highlights include the sink plunging sequence, a kid (anyone is fair game in this movie) devoured in the sewers, and said cinema audience who get the full horror treatment. Perhaps my only criticism would be the casting of Kevin Dillon (brother of Matt, best known for cracking Vietnamese heads in Oliver Stone's Platoon 1986) who's way too obnoxious, and not at all convincing as a hero. Overall though The Blob is a well made entertaining nod to 50's monster movies well worth rediscovering.

Used Future

08-29-08, 02:39 PM

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The Deadly Spawn aka Return of the Aliens: The Deadly Spawn (Douglas McKeown 1983) 2.5 Trash rating 4
The Deadly Spawn is a poverty row minor gore classic from one time director Douglas McKeown (who shot the film mostly at weekends on 16mm film for a budget of $20,000). He wrote the script along with his buddies John Dods and Ted A. Bohus, the former also acting as director of special effects. Dods has indeed been busy since the film, working in makeup and special effects on the likes of Ghostbusters II (1989), Alien: Resurrection (1997), and The X Files (1998). On its initial release The Deadly Spawn was retitled Return of the Aliens: The Deadly Spawn in order to cash in on rumors of a sequel to Alien. The film took over $300,000 on it's opening weekend, and has since built up a loyal cult following, putting profits to date in the millions.

After a meteorite crashes near a a small town (sounds familiar) a couple of inquisitive campers decide to investigate. This turns out to be a big mistake as the rock is home to a very hungry alien (that looks like a phalic version of Audry from The Little Shop of Horrors). After munching on the campers, the yucky alien takes shelter from a storm in the cellar of a nearby town house, and starts spawning babies (these look like large tadpoles with oversized teeth). Most of the rest of the film takes place in said cellar as unwitting family members become dinner for the critter. The family's son, an obnoxious horror obsessed kid in therapy (who is actually very entertaining) figures out that the beast is blind and hunts by sound. He subsequntly inlists the help of his older brother and two friends, who together formulate a clever plan to kill the thing.

http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/deadly_spawn06.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/deadly_spawn03.jpg

The Deadly Spawn is a charming little splatter film, despite it's painfully low budget. The acting although amateur, is surprisingly natural, as characters go about their normal day to day activities. We're given scenes of them having breakfast, reading the paper and making chit chat, all of it coming across as surprisingly realistic. The imaginative creatures are the most impressive thing about the movie though, and we see plenty of them. The fact that they look so good on what was a shoestring budget is nothing short of miraculous. Shots of the tadpole babies swimming through the flooded basement look incredibly convincing, amazing to think they were puppets. The Deadly Spawn was one of the now infamous 'video nasties', and it's not hard to see why, as the film is filled with splatter. Characters by turns have their faces ripped off, limbs bitten off, and in one hilarious scene, an old folks (who fight back valiantly) home is gorily attacked by the baby aliens. Much of the film is reminiscent in atmosphere (particularly the basement scenes) to Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead (1981). Though The Deadly Spawn isn't as technically accomplished as Raimi's film, it most certainly appeals to the same audience. To sum up, this is a must see for fans of low budget monster splatter, indeed if you liked The Evil Dead then you will definitely like this. It's highly entertaining, often funny, cult, bloody fun all the way, and the final twist scene is a riot.

Earl Gray

08-29-08, 02:47 PM

These sort of films are great, I'm always on the look out for this type of retro. People always remember Nightmare on Elm Street but don't appreciate it anymore, besides if were not for for these films where do they think that some of movie stars of today started? Example - Nighmare on Elm street = Johnny Depp!

Pyro Tramp

08-29-08, 02:50 PM

Love the new 'trash' rating.

I can't remember if it was you who mentioned having reviews saved on HD? Are these some of them because if not you're turning out a lot of work! Kudos

Used Future

08-29-08, 03:03 PM

Love the new 'trash' rating.

I can't remember if it was you who mentioned having reviews saved on HD? Are these some of them because if not you're turning out a lot of work! Kudos

Yes that was me, but most of the reviews in this thread are new. I'm unemployed at the moment (start new job on Monday:)) so have a lot of free time on my hands. So far I've been knocking out two reviews a day, but this will no doubt change from next week.

Pyro Tramp

08-29-08, 03:24 PM

Heh, thought that or something similar would be the alternate reason, i had similar abundance of time on my hands when i was unemployed. Not had anytime at all to finish my Top Movies List now.

Powdered Water

09-01-08, 03:36 PM

Ouch!!!

whatever gave you that idea? You're not still smarting over my Doomsday review are you? Or was it my comments in my 100 Favourites thread? The only reason I didn't want to get drawn into debate there was because I was busy writing the thread (which took me a while) and didn't want to get sidetracked.

All right, fair enough. To honest though when you do write up a review and post it here, sometimes people are going to want to discuss things with you. And as yet you still haven't replied to what I said in your review of the film. You just think its trash and apparently that's all your going to say about it. So, am I smarting over your review? No. But like I said earlier I just didn't get the feeling you were really interested in chatting up these reviews. Especially the movies you don't like. And that's cool. In a thread like this one you're preaching to the choir most of the time anyway. I really love this genre as I know you do. So by all means please continue.

Sawman3

09-01-08, 03:43 PM

My god, this has to be my favorite thread on MoFo at the moment. I am a massive fan of cult/trash/exploitation cinema, so this thread is like a godsend. Add to that fact that there are many titles on here that I have yet to see and I'm basically shivering with joy :rotfl:

Thanks, UF, keep it going!

Used Future

09-01-08, 07:24 PM

http://www.superstrangevideo.com/prodImages/BronxWarriorsPoster.jpg http://www.b-movies.gr/UserFiles/Image/bronx%20warriors/bronx%202.jpg

Bronx Warriors aka 1990: The Bronx Warriors (Enzo G. Castellari 1982) 2 Trash rating 4

Spaghetti western fans in particular may already be aware of Enzo G. Castellari after seeing his cult flick Keoma (1976) starring Franco Nero. No stranger to the western Castellari also directed a string of crime thrillers and war movies back in the 60's and 70's, including Battle Command (1969), The Sting of the West (1972 starring Jack Palance), Street Law (1974) and most famously Inglorious Bastards (1978). In 1981 he ripped off Jaws with his film Great White, and in 1982 turned his attention to Mad Max 2 with his cheapo effort The New Barbarians. In short Castellari's b-movie output has been prolific, and often highly entertaining. Tarantino himself has long been an admirer making no secret of his desire to remake Inglorius Bastards, a project sadly yet to materialize.

Bronx Warriors saw Castellari continue his foray into the post apocalyptic genre, whilst nodding heavily in the direction of Walter Hill's The Warriors (1979). He co wrote the story with Elisa Briganti who'd already written the cult Lucio Fulci flick Zombi 2 (1979), and would go on to write further post nuke junk throughout the 80's. The story was in turn scripted by Dardando Sacchetti, whose impressive resume to date includes Cannibal Apocalypse (1980), The Gates of Hell (1980), The Beyond (1981), The House by the Cemetery (1981), Demons (1985) and Demons 2 (1986). All the b-movie Italian pedigree had been set in place to make Bronx Warriors a cheesy trash classic...

The story is set in a crime ridden future New York where the Bronx has become a desolate no go area patrolled by a biker gang known as 'The Riders'. The gang are led by Trash a likable lunkhead (who even cries in two memorable scenes), played by pretty boy Mark Gergory who looks like he's in a hair metal band. The police are too terrified to enter, much to the frustration of their owners, the evil 'Manhattan Corporation'. Further rage ensues when the company president's daughter Ann runs off. Naturally she (Stefania Girolami) hooks up with the riders and falls in love with Trash, forcing the Manhattan Corp to take drastic measures. They employ badass renegade cop Hammer (Vic Morrow) to go in, take out the gang and snatch her back. Hammer is one tough nasty dude who sets about turning the riders against each other aided by traitorous gang member Ice (Joshua Sinclair). Not stopping there, he then tries to spark off a turf war, framing Trash for the murder of a rival gang (The Tigers) member. Desperate to prevent a war Trash visits Tigers leader The Ogre (Fred Williamson) to form a truce, a journey that takes him through rival turf, and that's not the half of it...

http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/bronx_warriors08.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/bronx_warriors10.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/bronx_warriors11.jpg

http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/bronx_warriors06.jpg http://www.eccentric-cinema.com/images2004/movie_pix_a-i/bronx_warriors05.jpg

Bronx Warriors suffers from a slow build up of twenty minutes up as Castellari sets the scene, but it's to his credit that he makes it so emminently watchable. Naturally the acting is appalling, and as a result hilarious, but what with lines like 'shut up or I'll knock ya block off!' being the main staple, you can't help but chuckle. The film is full of colorful characters like The Ogre (Italian regular Fred Williamson best known for From Dusk Till Dawn 1996) and Golan (fellow Italian favourite George Eastman) leader of the ridiculous rollerskating 'Zombies' gang. We also get Betty Dessy as Witch, a caped chick with a whip and razor fingers, plus Hot Dog (Christopher Connelly) a truck driving cripple out to make a buck. Best though, is the late Vic Morrow (a great b-movie character actor) as Hammer, who's so tough he could crack rocks with his teeth. Seriously, he steals this movie with ease, becoming an in joke between myself and friends. When life throws up a tough situation, well, 'we'll just have to put Hammer on it' (said in that gravelly video trailer voice). The fight scenes are equally colorful and amusing, characters all seem to come from the William Shatner school of martial arts, utilizing a dazzling array of four moves each. Marvel as they block with a stick, hit back with the stick, punch, and if you're lucky, kung fu kick. Of course this is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but Castellari knows what he's doing keeping it highly entertaining and sometimes visually impressive. To sum up Bronx Warriors is a fun companion piece to The Warriors, watch Hill's film first, then slap this in and revel in it's endearing crapness. Followed by a sequel...

Pyro Tramp

09-02-08, 05:54 AM

Fred Williamson! Sold

Powdered Water

09-02-08, 10:10 AM

Love Bronx Warriors. :D

Used Future

09-02-08, 07:27 PM

http://i18.ebayimg.com/03/c/03/0d/b1/ed_8.JPG http://www.bronxwarriors.co.uk/enjoy_trip.jpg

Bronx Warriors 2 aka Escape From the Bronx (Enzo G. Castellari 1983) 1.5 Trash rating 3 Never one to hang around, Castellari quickly churned out a sequel to his cheese fest Bronx Warriors the following year. This time he drafted in long time collaborator Tito Carpi to write the screenplay (probably in half an hour) whom he'd worked with on the likes of Battle Command (1969), The Sting of the West (1972) and The New Barbarians (1982). A veteran of spaghetti b-westerns Carpi also co wrote Ruggero Deodato's The Last Cannibal World (1977), and his fun actioner The Atlantis Interceptors (1983). Bronx Warriors 2 would prove to be even more slapdash than the original, but that didn't stop both movies becoming huge hits on home video.

Set ten years after the events of Bronx Warriors, we rejoin Trash (Mark Gregory who still looks like a Motley Crue roadie) this time fighting the evil 'TC Corporation' who plan to demolish the Bronx in order to redevelop the entire area. They tell the media that housing in Mexico will be provided for the residents, but in reality send in silver suited 'Disinfectors' headed by Floyd Wrangler (Henry Silva) who burn alive anyone refusing to leave. When Trash's parents are killed in their home all hell breaks loose as he attempts to resemble his old gang (most of whom were killed in the original film). He's joined by Toblerone (Antonio Sabato), demolition expert Strike (Giancarlo Prete), his son junior (Alessandro Prete) and crusading reporter Moon Grey (Valeria D'Obici). Together they kidnap TC Corp president Clark (Ennio Girolami) not realizing that vice president Hoffman (Paolo Malco) wants him dead anyway...

http://monsterhunter.coldfusionvideo.com/BronxWarriorsTwo2.jpg http://monsterhunter.coldfusionvideo.com/BronxWarriorsTwo3.jpg

Bronx Warriors 2 is grimmer, nastier and ultimately dumber than the original. The likes of Morrow and Williamson are missed in a film that Castellari clearly threw together quickly to cash in on his initial hit. The presence of Silva is welcome, but he's given little to do as most of his scenes involve him talking on the phone or merely ordering his minions around. The rest of the cast are all pretty forgettable, as the acting once again takes a backseat. Indeed Bronx Warriors 2 lacks the charm of the original, but Castellari more than makes up for it with non stop action. Gregory as Trash is much more convincing this time round, and really looks mean as he offs countless bad guys. Infact the second half of the film is just that, silver suited 'disinfectors' being shot, bashed with crash helmets, and blown up in a sequence to rival the length (not quality) of John Woo's Hard Boiled (1992). Besides said film and Stallone's latest Rambo offering, I don't think I've ever seen a higher body count in a movie. Make no mistake though, the action here is grade D stuff, we often see the same shot of bad guys biting the dust, as all of them look alike, and well, Enzo was in a hurry. Overall Bronx Warriors 2 is a passable, badly dubbed, violent follow up, I enjoyed it, but would only recommend the film to fans of the original with low expectations. The kitsch Italo soundtrack by Francesco De Massi is a highlight.

[LEFT]* The Bronx Warriors films were known as The Riffs 1&2 in Germany.

Sawman3

09-02-08, 08:05 PM

Used Future

09-02-08, 08:19 PM

Great review, as always.

I'm currently in the process of trying to find a lot of the films listed in here, with absolutely zero success. Of course, I can easily find them available to buy, but I don't want to buy anything until I know I like it (even though I'm pretty damn certain that I'll love the ones I've been looking for). I've looked through my local (A.K.A. New England/Northeast) library network, and all over the internet (not searching for downloads, just online players to watch them on [although none of the usual oddball download links have shown up either]).

So basically I was wondering whether anyone had any suggestions as to where to find a lot of these, especially you Used.

Hi there,

if you're not wanting to buy them outright (all of them are on ebay) then checking Youtube is worth a try (search with film title and 'part 1' after it, someone may have posted the whole movie). You could also try and find out if there are any film fairs/conventions in your area, or just check thrift shops, boot sales and flea markets for cheap videos and dvds. Sadly many of these titles are hard to get hold of, as some of them are deleted and hence rare, you certainly wont find them in hmv. Other than that I can't really help, sorry,

UF.

Sawman3

09-02-08, 08:22 PM

No problem man, and yes I've already checked YouTube several times, in the format you've suggested and in several others. I suppose I may have to buy them.

Used Future

09-03-08, 07:30 AM

A. And as yet you still haven't replied to what I said in your review of the film. You just think its trash and apparently that's all your going to say about it. So, am I smarting over your review? No. But like I said earlier I just didn't get the feeling you were really interested in chatting up these reviews. Especially the movies you don't like. And that's cool. In a thread like this one you're preaching to the choir most of the time anyway. I really love this genre as I know you do. So by all means please continue.

Re Doomsday : -

Well this is perhaps a cultural thing as the film is British and you are American (Americans seem to like it more than the Brits). The general consensus in Britain is that the film is crap, a second rate rip off of better films, and major disapointment from Marshall.

To me the film is disjointed, has a bullsh*t third act involving medevel knights, and a thoroughly (with the exception of Hoskins) unlikable cast. Marshall doesn't just homage cult movies he rips them off, especially John Carpenter's map of New York sequence (here Scotland). The action scenes are poorly shot, with an annoying lack of wide shots letting you see what's happening. The soundtrack is intrusive thus detracting from the film, and his choice of 1980's pop songs is embarrasingly inapropiate. I love cheesy trash and Italian rips for sure, but Doomsday isn't cheap, just embarrassing, and downright shameful that such a promising director wasted millions on self indulgent twaddle.

Used Future

09-03-08, 04:32 PM

No problem man, and yes I've already checked YouTube several times, in the format you've suggested and in several others. I suppose I may have to buy them.

Hi again,

I've heard that Netflix is very good for renting movies, Sedai rented 2019 After the Fall of New York (my favourite Italian post nuke flick) from there. It might be worth you getting an account as they may have some of the films I've reviewed here. Alternatively if you live in the UK and have a Cash Generator outlet nearby, check there too. They often have loads of pawned dvds going for two pounds each, including special editions, and foreign films. I've bought lots of great stuff in that shop. Good luck.:)

Sawman3

09-03-08, 06:51 PM

Argh! I had Netflix up until a couple of months ago, before I started on this cult binge. Now I regret canceling, though I suppose it won't be any trouble to start up again :)

As to the Cash Generator point... no go, as I'm in the U.S.

Used Future

09-05-08, 08:17 PM

http://www.horroria.com/i/nposters/00/02/204-G9.jpg http://www.nanarland.com/Chroniques/creature/creature033.jpg

Creature aka The Titan Find(William Malone 1985) 2 Trash rating 2.5
William Malone is another director with most of his fingers in the science fiction/horror pie. A lot of his work has been in television directing episodes for series such as Freddy's Nightmares, Tales from the Crypt, and Masters of Horror. Though in 1999 he gave us the passable House on Haunted Hill remake, and in 2002 further plumbed the depths with his abysmal FeardotCom. Things started for Malone back in 1981 when he enjoyed minor success with his drive in hit Scared to Death, another bargain basement Alien clone featuring a monster in the L.A. sewers. The film was buoyed by a likable cast, and a good looking monster that Malone designed himself (it's actually not that bad). Scared to Death even spawned a sequel of sorts, 1990's Syngenor (Malone recieved a special effects credit) which borrowed the monster's name and design.

Creature was Malone's second film, a story he co wrote with one time writer Alan Reed. It's set in deep space and there's a monster on the prowl, I can't think where they got the idea for this one...

The film begins with two astronauts (one of whom is called Ted!!!?) on a Titan mining expedition who discover the remains of an intergalactic zoo. Ted's buddy decides he wants a photo of him sitting on a pod housing an alien in suspended animation (cue lots of screaming and jam on the lense). Of course, all this is setting up the inevitable mission to Titan to find out what happened to Ted and his pal (who clearly never saw a monster flick in his life). We join said mission, a group of astronauts who work for an American conglomerate called NIT. On reaching Titan they discover a rival German company called Rhicter has beaten them to it, and foolishly rush the landing scuppering their ship. Naturally our heroes visit the Rhicter ship looking for help, but instead encounter Ted's toothy alien friend who's eaten everyone and still feels hungry. After beating a hasty retreat, they then bump into Hofner (Klaus Kinski) the sole survivor of the German mission who likes groping security officer Bryce (Diane Salinger). He casually tells them, 'this creature is sly', whilst standing around eating and looking cheeky. The alien then proceeds to pick them off one by one, attaching mind controlling parasites to the dead turning them into devious zombies.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0717/24.jpg http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0717/12.jpg

Besides the obvious hammy acting, cheap monster suit and overlong script, Creature also suffers from dim interior lighting that often makes it hard to see what's happening. It's a real shame because the exterior sets are fantastically atmospheric with eerie mist and blue gel lighting. Once the action moves inside however, it becomes clear that Malone was trying to hide the films meager budgetary constraints. Plus the plot is nothing more than generic garbage that moves way too slowly borrowing everything from Mario Bava's Planet of the Vampires (1965) to Howard Hawks's The Thing from Another World (1951). There's the obligatory nudity (a bare breasted zombie seduction) and token gore (face ripping and an exploding head) but for the most part characters just run back and forth between ships. Kinski livens things up (his introduction is brilliant) standing around munching sandwiches in supposedly tense scenes, but his appearance is way too brief leaving you wishing he had a starring role. The only other character of any interest is Bryce, who likes guns and wears a shiny black retro outfit. Sadly she mysteriously disappears halfway through, only to reappear in the films climactic scene announcing that she got lost (duh).

After having wanted to see this film for years my enthusiasm on viewing was sadly met with disappointment. It's not totally irredeemable, the space suits look good, plus you get to see Kinski acting randy and turned into a zombie. In the end though, the film is just too murky and uneventful for me to call it entertaining. Worth a look for Kinski completists and hardcore fans of space trash, but that's about it.

Powdered Water

09-05-08, 09:08 PM

Man, that beast or alien or whatever it was supposed to be was just so bad wasn't it? :laugh: I don't remember what rating I gave it when I went through a whole mess of these sci-fi flicks awhile back but I would definitely agree with your "trash" rating.

Used Future

09-11-08, 10:38 AM

http://www.horror.cz/ilustracni_fotky/thumb2.php?image=393.jpg http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eYuo6c8W4wo/ScaudWBxodI/AAAAAAAAABg/UO9BhhhnAKE/s400/bdcover.jpg http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t90/jazzdracula/BrainDamageAylmer00.jpg

Brain Damage (Frank Henenlotter 1988) 2.5 Trash rating 4

Frank Henenlotter is best known for his 1982 no budget offbeat horror flick Basket Case, the story of a boy who keeps his deformed siamese twin in a picnic hamper. Since then he's stuck firmly to the horror genre, with (my personal favourite) the hilarious Frankenhooker (1990), and two duff sequels, Basket Case 2 (1990), and Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1992). Brain Damage was Henenlotter's belated follow up to his original cult hit, and like most of his movies he wrote the screenplay, and edited the film himself.

In the film we follow Brian (Rick Hearst) whose eccentric elderly neighbours Morris and Martha (Theo Barnes & Lucille Saint-Peter) keep a strange unseen pet called Elmer in their bath. We know he's strange because they like to feed him brains (complete with sprigs of parsley) from the local butchers. Naturally Elmer goes missing, much to the dismay of Martha who has Morris turn the apartment upside down looking for him. Enter Brian who whilst lying on his bed experiences (in the words of Rimmer from Red Dwarf) what can only be described as a voyage to trip out city. The next day he awakens to find that Elmer (a parasitic over sized truffle voiced by John Zacherle) has taken up residence on his person. Elmer (or Aylmer) is able to deliver 'Juice' a powerful psychotropic drug directly to Brian's brain, resulting in euphoric halucinations. Brian quickly discovers however that the drug doesn't come free, as Elmer needs human brains as sustenance, and regularly offs unsuspecting members of the public whilst Brian is stoned. Horrified Brian tries to take control of Elmer, but soon realizes he's desperately addicted to the 'juice', and nothing more than a junkie chasing his next fix...

http://www.mad-movies.com/imgdata/BrainDamage4.jpg http://www.canardvexe.com/img/articles/71_86161311_3.jpg http://www.mad-movies.com/imgdata/BrainDamage3.jpg

Brain Damage is easily Henenlotter's best film (which probably isn't saying much), certainly more interesting and technically proficient than Basket Case. The cast are all good here, in particular Hearst who really convinces as the strung out addict losing his mind. There's also a rather nice 80's electronic soundtrack giving the film a dreamy ambient atmosphere, plus a decent nightclub sequence featuring The Swimming Pool Cues playing their song 'Corrosion'. Henenlotter himself described the film as a cross between Roger Corman's The Trip (1967), and William Castle's The Tingler (1959), which is certainly a fair comparison. In reality though you could be forgiven for viewing the film as a second rate cross between David Cronenberg's Shivers (1975) and Videodrome (1983).

Where Brain Damage falls down is in the hallucination sequences which are disappointingly underwhelming. Whether due to lack of budget, or simply imagination, what are supposed to be the films crowning glory never rise above generic 80's pop video imagery. It's a shame that Henenlotter seemingly put most of his energy into the films gore sequences, the nastiest of which were heavily censored on the films initial release (most notably a scene involving felacio, now restored to the Synapse dvd). With that said however, Brain Damage still effectively conveys its anti drugs message, and remains watchable (if uneven in tone) throughout. I'd even go as far as to recommend this film to fans of the genre looking for something a little different. Look out for Kevin Van Hentenryck (Dwayne from the Basket Case films) who cameos with his basket in the subway sequence.

Sedai

09-11-08, 11:01 AM

I know I have seen The Creature, but many, many moons ago. I remember that goofy German dude.

Used Future

09-13-08, 02:12 PM

http://midnightdvd.net/images/dvd_covers/terrorvision.jpg http://i1.sell.com/9/69/641649/47/82/3071302-m.jpg http://videodetective.com/photos/053/002237_25.jpg

TerrorVision (Ted Nicolaou 1986) 2.5 Trash rating 5
Ted Nicolaou is a director who cut his teeth with Charles Band's* Empire Pictures, later to become Full Moon Pictures. He's made over twenty movies to date most notably the popular Subspecies series (of which there are four), but also children's films like Leapin' Leprechauns! (1995), and Spellbreaker: The Secret of the Leprechauns aka Leapin' Leprechauns! 2 (1996). He wrote the screenplay for TerrorVision along with Band (who's tantamount to god in underground circles, just ask Powdered Water), and I can happily say that it's one of the most enjoyable films in the Empire Pictures cannon.

The film begins on the planet Pluton (represented by a laughable but quaint model) with an alien called Pluthar trying to vapourize a mutated monster in a garbage disposal chamber. Before you can say 'gorgonzola!' the monster (which looks like a giant turd with with teeth) is somehow transformed into radio waves and proceeds to bounce around space (another quirky model). Meanwhile on planet Earth Stanley Putterman (Gerrit Graham) is busy trying to install his 'Do it yourself 100' satellite dish, whilst trying to reign in survivalist army nut grampa (Burt Remsen) and gun crazy son Sherman (Chad Allen). We're also introduced to his nymphomaniac wife Raquel (Mary Woronov), valley girl daughter Suzy (Diane Franklin) and her heavy metal loving boyfriend O.D. (Jon Gries). With the dish up and running Stanley and Racquel head out 'swinging' (!!!), only for said monster to beam into the TV set and start chowing down on various family members. It's left to son Sherman (the only normal character) to try and save the day, as he tries to inlist the help of TV horror host Medusa (Jennifer Richards), but not before mum and dad return with with fellow swingers Cherry (Randi Brooks) and Spiro (veteran actor Alejandro Rey) a hilarious Greek homosexual!!!

http://m.blog.hu/be/betonpanda/image/terrorvision2.jpg

TerrorVision sets out it's kooky stall right from the opening credit sequence complete with super catchy theme tune performed by the Fibonaccis (a kitsch mixture of sixties lounge music and punk). The rest of the movie plays like some long lost 50's/60's sitcom on magic mushrooms, as the entire cast (with the exception of Chad Allen) ham it up delightfully. It's hard to pick out a favourite character as we're given seasoned talent like Graham, and Mary Woronov (from cult classics Death Race 2000 1975, and Eating Raoul 1982). Standout however has to be Jon Gries (uncle Rico in Napolean Dynamite 2004) as O.D. the lunkheaded Metalhead who makes Bill and Ted look like world class geniuses. Alejandro Rey as Spiro is equally hilarious delivering his lines like some latin ham doing Shakespeare. Plus Jennifer Richards as Medusa (a trashy nod to Vampira) is equally amusing. Everything about TerrorVision is way over the top, crappy, and purile, but in the most charming way imaginable. The whole film takes place on a garishly decorated studio set complete with neon lighting, mock Roman sculptures, and tacky erotic wall art that sets the tone perfectly. Not to mention the monster which looks ludicrous but manages to come off as lovable, as if Nicolaou crossed E.T. with Jabba the Hutt, but forgot to pay the makeup team.

In all TerrorVision finds the perfect balance of 'so bad it's good' largely because everyone involved is clearly in on the joke and goes for it full throttle. It's a film that comes together to form more than the sum of its parts, despite the lowbrow dialogue, duff effects, and general sillyness. TerrorVision opitimizes low budget 80's comedy horror, and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a genuinely entertaining example of the genre. Gorehounds on the other hand won't find what they're looking for here as the film has no blood whatsoever helping to keep the tone lighthearted and fun.

* See my review of Parasite.

Powdered Water

09-13-08, 02:56 PM

Used Future

09-13-08, 03:45 PM

It's a shame that the Subspecies flicks didn't start until the 90's. They deserve a write up too. At least the first one anyway. I enjoy them all (Shocker!) but the first one is probably the best of the four. It came out in 1991, perhaps Mr Future you could make an exception? Hmmm?

I've only seen the first one (Subspecies), and can't really remember it that well (I don't own a copy) except that I found it boring (sorry). For those reasons I won't be reviewing it here, though there will be exceptions to the 80's rule such as Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 (1979) and possibly Luigi Cozzi's Starcrash (1978) which I recently purchased on dvd. :)

Powdered Water

09-14-08, 12:14 PM

I've only seen the first one (Subspecies), and can't really remember it that well (I don't own a copy) except that I found it boring (sorry). For those reasons I won't be reviewing it here...

No problemo, I'm sure the world will continue to spin if you don't review the flick. I'm so biased when it comes to these flicks anyway. I actually think most of the flicks you've reviewed are pretty great. I need to track down a few that I haven't seen but they look really good too.

Keep em' coming. :)

Used Future

09-28-08, 01:53 PM

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b2/Slugs.JPG http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/3892/ecinexin09499medcp0.jpg

Slugs (Juan Piquer Simon 1988) 2 Trash rating 2.5
Loosely adapted from Shaun Hutson's cult horror novel of the same title, Slugs was one of the ickiest splatter films of the 80's. A US/Spanish co production the film was Directed by Juan Piquer Simon, a shameless hack best known for his laughable 1983 slasher Pieces, and substandard 1989 Abyss rip off, Endless Descent aka The Rift. Slugs is no doubt the kind of film Hutson is embarrassingly reminded of by sneering chat show hosts, and gore geek fans fishing for a scathing sound byte. On asking someone whether they've seen it you'll most likely receive a reply along the lines of 'Slugs? oh hehe yeah, hehehehe yeah Slugs hehehe'.

Set in a leafy upstate New York town, a horde of the yucky creatures mutated by toxic waste (is there any other way?) suddenly develop a taste for human flesh. After a string of gruesome deaths, enter local health inspector Mike Brady (Michael Garfield) who hopelessly tries to convince the snooty locals that it's all the work of 'Slugs'. Naturally everyone just thinks he's a nut, which is good news for us, because we get to see lots more people die in ridiculous ways. These include an old codger in the greenhouse who hacks off his hand after the slimy critters get inside one of his gardening gloves (not content there, the numbskull proceeds to spill chemicals everywhere, before accidentally setting the place alight, an all too common horticultural accident). We then get an obnoxious yuppie type who eats one of the pests after the thing pops up in his salad, big mistake, cue exploding eyeballs and lots of baby slugs. There's nude oversexed teens getting it on, and wishing they'd packed slug pellets instead of contraceptive pills. Plus the obligatory fool that manages to fall headfirst into the slug infested sewers (where else), which also serve as the climactic location for the film involving electricity.

http://www.animalattack.info/bibliotheque/slugs07.jpg http://www.animalattack.info/bibliotheque/slugs04.jpg

You could easily be forgiven for thinking Slugs looks like alot of fun as all the the ingredients are there, daft plot, slimy creatures, over the top gore, Mediterranean director etc etc. In reality though, the film falls into the trashy no mans land of too bad to be good, but not quite bad enough to be...well...good. We get badly synched dubbing, wooden acting, cliched plot, and hokey slug closeups (most memorably a slug biting a finger) but it just comes off as irritating rather than amusing. Instead of treating the silly material with tongue firmly in cheek, director Simon goes for the serious approach, complete with one dimensional solemn faced (and thoroughly unlikable) characters, grating musical score, and sickening rather than funny gore sequences. In the face of a credible monster this might be ok, but we're talking tiny slow moving killer slugs here, an enemy nobody ever thinks to run away from, and believe me it's annoying.

The bottom line is Slugs just isn't cool despite the 80's credentials, high gore content, and cult reputation. If you're looking for some effective nature runs-amok thrills, you'd be better off sticking with Jeff Leiberman's fun 1976 b-movie Squirm. That one got the tone just right, had good early makeup work from Rick Baker, and delivered some genuine scares.

Powdered Water

09-29-08, 09:30 PM

Hmmmm. I wonder if PW loves Slugs... Yes he does and theres nothing you can say to stop me! :p

The Prestige

09-29-08, 09:43 PM

Well one things for sure...this is definitely the most cultish of all the list on MoFos.

Used Future

09-30-08, 11:58 AM

http://www.barelycool.com/zombie/night_comet.jpg http://www.horror-fanatics.com/sitebuilder/images/Night_of_the_Comet_DVD_Cover-256x377.jpg http://videodetective.com/photos/103/004346_7.jpg

Night of the Comet (Thom Eberhardt 1984) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
Tom Eberhardt made a name for himself making 'social-issue' documentaries for public TV, before moving into feature films in 1983 with the slow but suspenseful horror Sole Survivor. He's since made just a handful of films most notably the amusing Sherlock Holmes parody Without A Clue (1988), and the fun, but hardly classic Captain Ron (1992). Night of the Comet was his second directorial effort (he also wrote the screenplay), a satirical sci-fi/horror with nods to old 1950's and 1970's dystopian sci-fi films all be it with a more lighthearted tone. Over the years the film has acquired an army of loyal fans who swear it's a forgotten 80's gem, so does Night of the Comet live up to expectations?

The film begins with a voice over describing the coming of a comet that on it's last appearance, wiped out the dinosaurs. We then pick up with Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart) an usher girl working in an old cinema showing cult b-movies. Whilst everyone else is gearing up to watch the comet however, Regina is busy doing the hokey-kokey with her boyfriend in the projection room. Meanwhile back at home her 'valley girl' sister Samantha (Kelli Maroney) is busy having a cat fight with her step mom and as a result doesn't go out to see the comet either. Yup you got it, the comet reduces everyone that sees it to either red dust, or flesh eating zombies (one of whom dispatches Regina's boyfriend with a monkey wrench). Left alone the plucky sisters roam L.A. looking for other survivors and soon encounter an easy going young truck driver called Hector (Robert Beltran) at the local radio station. Observing all this from their top secret bunker are a group of think tank scientists headed by Carter (Geoffrey Lewis) and Audrey (Mary Woronov). Far from being saviors however, the scientists merely want to fatally harvest our heroes blood in order to develop a vaccine for the zombifying effects of the comet...

http://www.horror-fanatics.com/images/Night_of_the_Comet-_02.jpg

Night of the Comet is a lot of fun for the first twenty minutes, the film is laced with snappy one liners, 80's pop culture references, and savvy nods to genre classics that really hit the spot. Both Stewart and Maroney are likable (if not exactly outstanding) leads, and the idea of dropping materialistic boy obsessed girls into the plot from Boris Segal's 1971 classic The Omega Man (not to mention a whole host of similarly grim post apocalyptic films) is a hoot. Eberhardt gives us some effective shots of a deserted L.A. complete with red filters and minimal electronic score, helping to create a believable (all be it humorous) impression of desolation. Sadly however, what starts out as smart satire quickly runs out of ideas becoming sluggish and uneventful during the second act. The girls do little more than hang around the radio station aimlessly, argue over the affections of Hector, and play mostly bad (with the exception of Girls Just Want to Have Fun) 80's pop music. Plus After Regina's initial encounter with one of the zombies the creatures are rarely seen (we get about six in the entire movie) and as a result the film feels like it's constantly stuck in second gear. Things finally pick up during a cool mall shootout with undead store clerks who look like they've walked straight out of a Depeche Mode video. The inclusion of b-movie regular Woronov and Geofrey Lewis cast against type is also welcome, but after such a promising start it's all too little too late.

With a bit more comic book action to complement the sometimes witty dialogue Night of the Comet could have been a genre classic. Instead it's merely passable fare, worth a look for 80's b-movie fanatics like myself, but strict zombie fans needn't bother.

Uncle Jay

09-30-08, 01:26 PM

Phenomenal thread! Used Future, an excellent job!

I'm a huge horror/sci-fi/exploitation nut myself. This is great stuff! I'm glad that there are people here that share interest of the "flip side" of cinema. I have most of these gems in my personal collection (VHS/DVD/LASERDISC) and will also share some of it with you guys!

Once again, great stuff!

-UJ

Uncle Jay

09-30-08, 02:06 PM

Used Future

09-30-08, 02:28 PM

I was in love with Catherine Mary Stewart back then. She was gorgeous. Who could forget her as Maggie in The Last Starfighter.

Another sci-fi b-flick she did was a film called Nightflyers, which I enjoyed as well, but it's nothing spectacular being yet another alien/spaceship movie that delivers nothing in the amount of Alien, Aliens or Event Horizon, in comparison. It's slow-moving and anti-climatic. I haven't seen it in 15 years, so I can't reaally give you an in-depth review, but that's what I remembered of it. I'll have to spin my laserdisc of it one of these days.

Hehe yes I saw Nightflyers a couple of years back after picking up a vhs copy for 50p in a charity shop. It's got some pretty neat production design, and I seem to remember uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince getting his fingers cut off. Not much else about the film impressed me though, it was pretty dull for the most part, still as you say, Catherine Mary Stewart was certainly hot back then.

Thanks for the kind words, glad you like the thread, there's plenty more to come so stay tuned;)

Sedai

09-30-08, 02:39 PM

Great stuff, as usual! I think I need to get my hands on another Trash film for this coming weekend! Too bad I had to hold my Netflix account. :(

Used Future

10-02-08, 11:55 AM

http://chud.com/nextraimages/xtro_guilty.jpg http://movies.ee/pildid/xtro.jpg

Xtro (Harry Bromley Davenport 1982) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5
There is a common (and understandable) misconception surrounding Xtro that the film was one of the original video nasties. In truth however Xtro never featured on any of the official DPP (Director of Public Prosecutions) lists, and was in fact passed uncut with an 'X' rating by the BBFC.

The movie was directed Harry Bromley Davenport, a British filmmaker who has done little else of note besides his 1992 satirical comedy Life Amongst the Cannibals. Though horror buffs will also be familiar with his two in-name-only (and very poor) sequels to Xtro, namely Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990), and Xtro 3: Watch the Skies (1995). Davenport co wrote the story and scripted his original along with Iain Cassie, Michel Parry and Robert Smith, the latter having since written for UK television on crime dramas like The Ruth Rendell Mysteries, Taggart, and A Touch of Frost. Yes this is a very British affair which was no doubt designed to cash in on Alien, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It has a reputation for being weird and extremely nasty, so lets have a look...

We pick things up with young Tony (Simon Nash) and his dad Sam (Philip Sayer) playing in the garden of their country house. Before you can say 'phone home', a high wind kicks up, everything goes dark, there's a bright light in the sky and Sam vanishes (what a rotten stroke of luck). Fast forward three years with Tony and his mum Rachel (Bernice Steigers) now living in London along with the new American man in her life Joe (Danny Brainin) and sexy au pair Analise (the lovely Maryam d'Arbo). Tony is in therapy having suppressed the memory of his father's abduction, and naturally hates his new step dad. Meanwhile the bright light returns to the countryside dropping off a nasty alien that runs around on all fours before killing a couple of passing motorists, and raping a young woman in her kitchen. Said woman quickly gives birth to a fully grown man!? who turns out to be none other than Tony's missing dad complete with new alien powers (we know this because he melts a phone). Sam returns to his estranged family and an inevitable tug of love over delighted son Tony ensues. Things become even stranger however, when Sam passes his powers on to Tony (who has a field day making his toys come to life), before making his sinister intentions clear and gradually reverting back to alien form...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/mvalente/2008/xtro1.jpg

Xtro is one of those films that completely lives up to it's bizarre and violent reputation. The early rape and subsequent birth scenes are truly sickening (especially the shot of Sayer biting through his umbilical cord), but also so incredibly baffling as to be completely ridiculous, thus setting the tone for the rest of the film. Xtro is indeed dumb, completely lacking in logic, moderately acted (though Steigers is good) and at best has merely second rate makeup effects. It's never dull though, this is mainly thanks to Davenport who keeps things moving at a fair pace injecting lots of imaginative (all be it daft) ideas. Indeed we get a life size Action Man/G.I. Joe wreaking havoc on an elderly neighbour, an impish clown, a toy tank with a penchant for shooting people, and Maryam d'Arbo prancing around in the nude a lot (not such a daft idea). Offset all this with what appears as an attempt at serious family drama laced with elements of psycho sexual horror, and you're left with a genuinely whacked out movie (just check out what happens to d'Arbo!!!???).

Ultimately though Xtro is nothing more than a mildly enjoyable exploitation curio tripped up by it's own stupidity. It's by no means terrible, just weird for weirds sake. Trash fans looking for something a little more offbeat should definitely give it a watch, if only to gawp at the sheer absurdity of it all.

Used Future

10-03-08, 11:27 AM

http://films.psychovision.net/critique/inseminoid-046/jak.jpg http://www.badmovies.org/movies/horrorplanet/horrorplanet7.jpg

Inseminoid aka Horror Planet (Norman J. Warren 1981) 1.5 Trash rating 2
Inseminoid saw British filmmaker Norman J. Warren continue in his tradition of sexploitation/horror flicks. These include his 1976 (and best known) film Satan's Slave, the story of a young girl abused by a Satanic cult. But also witchcraft vengeance flick Terror (1978), lesbian themed alien horror Prey aka Alien Prey (1978), and soft porn sci-fi comedy Spaced Out aka Outer Touch (1979). The story was penned by one time writing duo Nick and Gloria Maley, the former having worked as a makeup artist on a number of high profile films including The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Krull (1983).

Inseminoid would form part of a wave of low budget films from the early 80's seemingly designed to cash in on the success of Ridley Scott's Alien (1979), though Warren and co have always vehemently denied this. It's also worth noting that during its theatrical run, the film was picketed by feminist groups opposed to the now notorious (but decidedly tame) alien rape sequence.

Set on the Jupiter moon of Xeno (where we're told the temperature is over a hundred below, but the space suits are wafer thin) the story follows a group of research scientists exploring an uncharted subterranean cave system. Naturally they're not alone down there, so when Sandy (Judy Geeson) discovers a partially sealed off chamber, enter one horny alien who proceeds to get jiggy with her interstellar style (should have packed your mace spray Sandy). On taking her to med bay Sandy's horrified colleagues discover that she's two months pregnant with said alien's offspring. Naturally this doesn't go down too well, as compelled to protect and feed her young, Sandy proceeds to go mad bumping off her friends and drinking their blood. Far from living up to the intelligence their profession would seemingly require, our decidedly unheroic heroes (who include British A list beauties Stephanie Beacham and Victoria Tennant) manage to laughably bungle every attempt to eliminate Sandy. With cast members (thankfully) dwindling the situation eventually worsens when the murderous mum-to-be gives birth to equally homicidal alien twins...

http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/9260/insf3po.png

Despite the apparent cult following, there's really very little reason to recommend Inseminoid. Shot in chalk caves just outside London, Warren makes effective use of his location, but the rest of the production design is painfully cheap. Modified crash helmets with torches glued to the side, sweatshirts, and most unforgivably jeans completely fail to convince as futuristic attire. The research facility sets are passable, but the inclusion of milk crates as seating in one scene most certainly isn't. As a result the film looks no more impressive than any number of laughable TV sci-fi shows from the period. Then there's the acting, Geeson puts in an impressive performance as the demented Sandy, but the rest of the uncomfortable looking cast phone theirs in. Combine this with poorly choreographed fight sequences, lots of running down corridors whilst screaming, not to mention braindead character decisions, and you're merely left with the gore. Warren does keep the red stuff flowing (the alien birth scene is satisfyingly yucky) and the pace brisk enough, but ultimately Inseminoid is nothing more than a poorly executed slasher/possession flick devoid of humour (intentional or otherwise) and charm.

Pyro Tramp

10-03-08, 05:36 PM

Out of interest, where do you get the pics? For such obscure films, seems strange google would have such decent snaps.

mark f

10-03-08, 05:50 PM

I don't know where he gets them, but there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of fans of all these cult films. There are publications, many of them archived online, which wrote about them at the time of release, and now, I'd imagine there are various websites where they can be discussed. Most of these films came out after I was really into B- and Z-movies, so I never got around to most of them, but my brother is really into anything horror and sci-fi, the gorier the better, so I know about the rabidness of some fans.

Used Future

10-03-08, 06:34 PM

Well I'm sorry to disappoint you both, but I do indeed get them from Google and Yahoo image searches. If anyone can tell me of a better image source then please do because I often have to sift through dozens of pages before I find what I want.

Mark is right though, there are hordes of fans out there who are into this junk. In fact I don't even look upon these movies as being all that obscure.

Though if anyone can tell me how to get hold of a copy of Ciro Ippolito's 1980 junkathon Sulla Terra (Italy) aka Alien 2: On Earth (US) aka Alien Terror (UK) I'd like to hear about it, because that one really is hard to find:yup:.

http://www.dvdfuture.com/images/upload/ALIEN_TERROR.jpg
The last guy who went looking for Sulla Terra

nebbit

10-03-08, 10:35 PM

Interesting Thread Used :yup: Not the kind of movies I like :nope: to much latex and fake blood for me http://bestsmileys.com/violent/20.gif

The only one i have seen is Brain Damage :eek: a friend brought it over one night, we :laughed: so much :goof:

Used Future

10-07-08, 04:28 PM

http://www.scifi-universe.com/upload/medias/films/galaxina_aff.jpg http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x242/TRandCompany_cartoonist/galaxinachair.jpg

Galaxina (William Sachs 1980) 1 Trash rating 2
Galaxina achieved cult status after it's star (and former Playmate of the year) Dorothy Stratten was murdered by possessive husband Paul Snider. Stratten was rumoured to have become close with filmmaker Peter Bogdanovich on the set of his 1981 comedy They All Laughed. In turn Snider, overcome with jealousy, tied her up sexually assaulted and shot her, before turning the gun on himself. Up until then Stratten's career had been on the rise thanks to her Playboy appearances. She'd found small roles in a number of films in 1979, and even appeared in episodes of television shows like Fantasy Island and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

Written and directed by William Sachs, Galaxina was a spoof designed to cash in on the global demand for 'space operas' following the success of Star Wars in 1977. Though whilst Lucas was busy labouring over his masterpiece, Sachs had been lazily throwing together his 1977 crapfest The Incredible Melting Man. Still, that film was a moderate success thanks to its goofy title and impressive Rick Baker makeups. It was also an indication of the kind of quality to expect with Galaxina.

In the film we follow the Infinity, an interstellar police cruiser and its oddball crew who are sent to recover a crystal called the Blue Star (dramatic music). After a rolling credits sequence (ala Star Wars) that goes on forever, we meet Captain Cornelius Butt (Avery Schreiber), the Sarg (Stephen Macht) and some other dude in a cowboy hat. We also get lots of shots of Galaxina (Stratten) a sexy mute robot who sits in a white chair, and electrocutes anyone who touches her. Fast forward through some decidedly unfunny dialogue, to a duff space battle with an alien who wants the Blue Star (dramatic music) and looks like a messed up Klytus from Flash Gordon. We also meet the other Infinity crew members, a black Mr. Spock ripoff with batwings, an old Chinese guy who spouts proverbs like Charlie Chan, and a rock eating alien prisoner. Add to that subplots involving the Sarg falling in love with Galaxina (who eventually stops electrocuting him and learns to talk), plus Captain Butt who eats a weird egg and gives birth to an alien that thinks he's it's mother. Oh and let's not forget the space bikers who worship the god of Har Lee David Son *groan*

http://www.wicked-vision.com/images_rv/g/Galaxina_pic8.jpg http://www.wicked-vision.com/images_rv/g/Galaxina_pic4.jpg http://www.wicked-vision.com/images_rv/g/Galaxina_pic7.jpg

Clearly a vehicle for Stratten to showcase her voluptuous talents, Galaxina ultimately falls completely flat due to its boring script, and cheap production values. The opening credits that go on forever are an early indication that Sachs was padding out running time wherever possible. Indeed this film is at least twenty minutes too long, as nearly all the scenes in the first two acts of the movie feel tediously dragged out. Not only are they slow, but also painfully unfunny as most of the gags completely miss the mark. The supporting cast are all extremely wooden, appart from Schreiber who at least tries to inject some comedic gusto into his performance. Though sadly he's left hopelessly flogging a dead horse as the material on offer is so poor. As a result you're merely left ogling Stratten who strangely for this type of fare, does nothing more than silently stand around in lycra looking pretty. Yup that's right, not only is there no nudity from the former Playmate, but for the first half of the film there's no dialogue either. Perhaps that's the greatest joke of all, that faced with Stratten's dubious acting ability, Sachs saw fit to limit her lines to practically zero.

In it's favour the film does pick up half way through when Stratten is given more to do and the narrative takes on some focus. There are a couple of colourfully amusing tavern scenes (the second of which is a shot for shot rip of Star Wars), and the running joke involving Captain Butt's alien baby is rather cute. Galaxina even borders on likable for the final act, coming off like some half baked mixture of Roger Vadim's Barbarella (1968) and an original episode of Star Trek. You almost begin to forgive the second rate battle scenes (involving static spaceships that shoot each other from opposite sides of the screen), poor makeup, and purile script...but not quite. Then it ends abruptly and the realization dawns that you've just wasted ninety minutes of your life on pointless un-exploitative exploitation.

nebbit

10-21-08, 04:38 AM

Thanks Future :yup: another one to give a miss :goof:

Used Future

10-23-08, 07:10 AM

Powdered Water

10-23-08, 10:08 PM

To bad UF, I hope to see you soon.

linespalsy

10-23-08, 10:19 PM

Hope to read you agin. Best wishes until then.

honeykid

10-23-08, 10:38 PM

Bad luck UF. Like the others, I hope that it's not too long until you're back. Best of luck finding a new job!

Sedai

10-24-08, 10:54 AM

Bad News...

last night my computer crashed and I was unable to reboot i.e. turn it back on. Unfortunately it looks like the insides are completely fried and the machine bricked for good. As I'm currently unemployed I can't even afford repairs let alone a replacement (I'm writing this message from my local library).

Sadly I'm going to have to bid farewell to MoFo until I can sort it out. I'm not sure how long this will take, possibly months.

Just like to say it's been fun and I'll try to get back asap,

UF.

Well, bummer. That's for sure. This thread has been a welcome addition to MoFo; one I look forward to reading. Hopefully, you get back on track soon with a new machine, or a repair to the old one. I went through the same problem a couple of months ago, and was limited to logging in at work.

See you when you get back!

For now, I will just keep oogling that toe-tastic picture of D Strattan you posted...

_M

honeykid

10-25-08, 01:02 AM

For now, I will just keep oogling that toe-tastic picture of D Strattan you posted...

_M

I was watching an episode of Buck Rogers the other day and she was playing the part of Miss Cosmos, the most genetically perfect woman in the quadrant. :D

An obvious plothole I thought, as Pamela Hensey (Princess Ardala) is, by far, the most attractive woman in the Buck Rogers universe. ;)

Used Future

10-25-08, 11:14 AM

Thanks folks,

I'll sign in on a library computer a couple of times a week just to say hello and see what's happening (don't want to miss anything). Hopefully I shouldn't be away for more than a couple of months, missing the place already.

nebbit

11-09-08, 04:49 PM

I miss you already :bawling:

Used Future

12-12-08, 04:50 PM

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b6/Galaxy_of_terror.jpg/200px-Galaxy_of_terror.jpg http://www.indefinite-articles.com/images/nyetflix/galaxyterror02.jpg

Galaxy of Terror (Bruce D. Clark 1981) 2.5 Trash rating 5

Galaxy of Terror was the first of Roger Corman's New World Alien knock offs (Forbidden World reviewed on page 1 was a semi-sequel). The film was directed and co scripted by Bruce D. Clark who hasn't done much else since, but this being Corman produced meant there was plenty of fresh young talent involved behind the scenes. The most famous of these was James Cameron, who worked as a production designer on the film, and would later retread similar territory with his classic sequel to Alien. Also noteworthy was the young Bill Paxton who worked as a set decorator, and would later team up with Cameron on Aliens for his memorable role as Private Hudson. At the time however, they were unknowns, and Galaxy of Terror was nothing more than a bargain basement B movie cash in. But Corman had experienced success (again) as executive producer of Battle Beyond the Stars the previous year, and the space movie was still hot in the wake of Star Wars. Galaxy of Terror has taken a lot of stick over the years for being a grade D, badly edited, cheaply made, gory, sleazy knockoff, and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

After some very moody synth music we realize the film is set in a distant future where astronauts all dress in beige like they're auditioning for the original Space 1999 TV series. The film begins with a guy on a crashed space ship being chased and presumably killed off by an unseen foe. We then meet the crew of another space craft on it's way to the planet Organthus to find out what happened to the previous mission (but of course we already know). They're your usual bunch of space crusaders, unless you count the silly names like Cabren (Edward Albert) the strong leader type, Quuhod (Sid Haig) the hippy dippy warrior, Ranger (Robert Englund) the sissie, Dameia (Taaffe O'Connell) the eye candy, Alluma (Erin Moran) Cabren's squeeze and Trantor (Grace Zabriskie) the miserable one. Soon after arriving some of them start seeing monsters, there's a splattery death, and a sinister energy force in the air. The group send a search party onto the planet surface and discover a large pyramid structure emitting the energy force. It turns out said force makes their darkest fears a reality and once inside the structure the astronauts start getting killed off one by one in a variety of imaginative ways...

http://www.filmsquish.com/guts/files/images/galaxyofterror01.jpg

Although referred to as an Alien clone Galaxy of Terror actually plays a lot more like Mario Bava's 1965 sci-fi/horror Planet of the Vampires. The films central premise of an evil force that makes people hallucinate their worst fears has since been borrowed for films like Paul W.S. Anderson's 1997 horror Event Horizon, and to a lesser extent Barry Levinson's 1998 sci-fi flick Sphere. Galaxy of Terror's reputation as being irredeemable rubbish is also unwarranted, the film is trashy and badly acted, but also highly entertaining. Although cheaply produced Galaxy has bucket loads of 80's retro style, sports a delightfully weird atmosphere and some impressive original looking low budget sets. Undoubtedly the films main draw however has to be seeing the great b-movie cast die in jaw dropingly gory and ridiculous ways. These include Sid Haig (from House of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects) offed by his own severed arm. Erin Moran (Joni from Happy Days) strangled until her head explodes, Taaffe O'Connell (nothing much at all) raped to death by a giant maggot, and Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger himself) in a punch up with his evil twin. This has everything, even a climactic kung fu fight with space zombies, and a fittingly silly twist ending that somehow just works. For me Galaxy of Terror is the absolute cream of 1980's space trash, and if it must be labeled an Alien clone then it's by far the best one. As junky exploitation this film delivers on all levels, and I highly recommend fans of the genre try and hunt down a copy. Copies of the film are rather thin on the ground, there's no official US dvd release (come on Blue Underground) and the UK dvd release is deleted and hence very expensive (not to mention poor quality). There is an Italian dvd with a nice anamorphic transfer and removable subtitles, but again it's very sought after, so my advice is try and pick up a cheap vhs copy.

Vertical Gunn

12-12-08, 06:06 PM

Nice thread. :yup:

Pyro Tramp

12-12-08, 09:14 PM

Thanks for bringing another gem, i'd otherwise have never heard of, to my attention.

Swedish Chef

12-12-08, 09:18 PM

They don't make movies with gigantic, Grace Zabriskie-raping maggots anymore, that's for sure.

Powdered Water

12-13-08, 11:00 AM

More's the pity.

Used Future

12-13-08, 12:03 PM

They don't make movies with gigantic, Grace Zabriskie-raping maggots anymore, that's for sure.

My apologies, it's actually a Taaffe O'Connell-raping giant maggot, I really must get my giant maggot raping facts straight.:goof:

mikeython1

12-13-08, 01:49 PM

How about Krull.Loved as a little kid,watched it recently and it is pretty bad.

Used Future

12-14-08, 02:13 PM

http://www.arkitera.com/UserFiles/Image/news/2008/01/09/after.jpg http://www.gotterdammerung.org/film/reviews/digit/2019-after-the-fall-of-new-york/2019-after-the-fall-of-new-york-06.jpghttp://10kbullets.com/images/2006/04/apocalypsetriplefeature-02.jpg

2019: After the Fall of New York (Sergio Martino 1983) 2.5+ Trash rating 5

In true Italian B-movie style (and if the title isn't indication enough) 2019: After the Fall of New York was an unashamed cash in riding on the coat tails of Mad Max, Escape From New York, and Blade Runner. The film was co scripted and directed by Sergio Martino (billed as Martin Dolman for the benefit of an American audience); a talented and prolific filmmaker who'd worked in a variety genres throughout the 70's including horror, westerns and comedies. Initially Martino had enjoyed success in Italy with a series of well received Giallo thrillers like Case of the Scorpion's Tail (1971), Blade of the Ripper (1971), Eye of the Black Cat (1972), and Torso (1973). Though he's arguably best known in Britain and America for his fun 1978 jungle adventure flick The Mountain of the Cannibal God starring Ursula Andress. 2019 was Martino's low budget stab at the post apocalyptic action genre and was an early video rental hit. With such a microscopic budget and comically derivative title you'd expect this to be unwatchable garbage...wouldn't you?

The film begins with a black guy playing a trumpet!? whist the camera pans across a model (possibly the worst I've ever seen) of a bombed out New York. A voice over tells us that there's been a nuclear war and mankind has split into two warring factions; the evil Euraks and the Pan-American Federation. Just so we know they're the baddies we see the Euraks murderously clean out a mutant ghetto with flame throwers and guns that make strange noises. We then skip to a Mad Max type gladiatorial car sequence in which we're introduced to our hero Parsifal (Michael Sopkiw who looks like David Beckham after ten pints). Parsifal offs his rival stock car racers in gory style and wins the contest only to be given a rather unattractive young lady as a prize. So we know he's the hero Parsifal sets her free, but is captured by the Pan-American Federation who fly him (in a laughable space ship) to the North Pole!!!? (another duff model). It's there that he's given a mission to rescue the last fertile woman on Earth from New York before the Euraks get hold of her. To aide him on his quest Parsifal is given two allies, Ratchet (Romano Puppo) a big dude with an eye patch and a metal hand, and Bronx (Paolo Maria Scalondro) a dude with no special skills. Off they go on motorbikes to New York, where all kinds of mutants, cyborgs, midgets, ape men, and sadistic female Eurak commanders lay wait...

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Of all the early 80's Italian post nuke junk out there (which include films like Giuliano Carnimeo's Exterminators of the Year 3000, Enzo G. Castellari's The New Barbarians, and Joe D'Amato's 2020 Texas Gladiators) 2019: After the Fall of New York is by far the best. This is largely down to the inventive way in which Martino approaches the material which is full of silly but imaginatively fun ideas. Such touches often stretch the budget well beyond it's means, but far from being a turn off I found the amateurish models, recycled props (including guns from Barbarella) and tacky costumes rather endearing. Martino throws everything but the kitchen sink at this movie, and it just works. We get a Planet of the Apes type mutant character called Big Ape (Italian regular George Eastman), Eye gouging, flame throwers, lazers, babes, and a climactic car chase (in a station wagon) through a mined tunnel. The pace moves along nicely never meandering, and there's also a terrific moody synth score from Guido & Maurizio De Angelis (billed as Oliver Onions) that perfectly complements the non-stop action. It's still an awful movie by most people's standards with dubbed wooden acting, laughable production values, and a stupid unoriginal plot. But I challenge you to have this much fun with a bad b-movie anywhere else.

Pyro Tramp

12-14-08, 03:10 PM

Is this on DVD? Seems every film you recommend that catches my eye, isn't lol.

Used Future

12-14-08, 03:26 PM

Is this on DVD? Seems every film you recommend that catches my eye, isn't lol.

I'm happy to say that you can pick up a region 0 version (23rd Century label) of this film quite cheap on Amazon and Ebay (the last time I looked). Other than that check the dvd bins in pound shops; I kid you not, that's where I found my first copy before I upgraded. The transfer on the uk version flickers a bit, and there's no scene selection or extras though. I recommend getting the region 1 Shriek Show edition which has a trailer, scene selection and an interview with Martino.

Pyro Tramp

12-14-08, 03:50 PM

Kewl :)

TheUsualSuspect

12-14-08, 07:43 PM

Brain Damage (Frank Henenlotter 1988)

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Frank Henenlotter is best known for his 1982 no budget offbeat horror flick Basket Case, the story of a boy who keeps his deformed siamese twin in a picnic hamper. Since then he's stuck firmly to the horror genre, with (my personal favourite) the hilarious Frankenhooker (1990), and two duff sequels, Basket Case 2 (1990), and Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1992). Brain Damage was Henenlotter's belated follow up to his original cult hit, and like most of his movies he wrote the screenplay, and edited the film himself.

In the film we follow Brian (Rick Hearst) whose eccentric elderly neighbours Morris and Martha (Theo Barnes & Lucille Saint-Peter) keep a strange unseen pet called Elmer in their bath. We know he's strange because they like to feed him brains (complete with sprigs of parsley) from the local butchers. Naturally Elmer goes missing, much to the dismay of Martha who has Morris turn the apartment upside down looking for him. Enter Brian who whilst lying on his bed experiences (in the words of Rimmer from Red Dwarf) what can only be described as a voyage to trip out city. The next day he awakens to find that Elmer (a parasitic over sized truffle voiced by John Zacherle) has taken up residence on his person. Elmer (or Aylmer) is able to deliver 'Juice' a powerful psychotropic drug directly to Brian's brain, resulting in euphoric halucinations. Brian quickly discovers however that the drug doesn't come free, as Elmer needs human brains as sustenance, and regularly offs unsuspecting members of the public whilst Brian is stoned. Horrified Brian tries to take control of Elmer, but soon realizes he's desperately addicted to the 'juice', and nothing more than a junkie chasing his next fix...

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Brain Damage is easily Henenlotter's best film (which probably isn't saying much), certainly more interesting and technically proficient than Basket Case. The cast are all good here, in particular Hearst who really convinces as the strung out addict losing his mind. There's also a rather nice 80's electronic soundtrack giving the film a dreamy ambient atmosphere, plus a decent nightclub sequence featuring The Swimming Pool Cues playing their song 'Corrosion'. Henenlotter himself described the film as a cross between Roger Corman's The Trip (1967), and William Castle's The Tingler (1959), which is certainly a fair comparison. In reality though you could be forgiven for viewing the film as a second rate cross between David Cronenberg's Shivers (1975) and Videodrome (1983).

Where Brain Damage falls down is in the hallucination sequences which are disappointingly underwhelming. Whether due to lack of budget, or simply imagination, what are supposed to be the films crowning glory never rise above generic 80's pop video imagery. It's a shame that Henenlotter seemingly put most of his energy into the films gore sequences, the nastiest of which were heavily censored on the films initial release (most notably a scene involving felacio, now restored to the Synapse dvd). With that said however, Brain Damage still effectively conveys its anti drugs message, and remains watchable (if uneven in tone) throughout. I'd even go as far as to recommend this film to fans of the genre looking for something a little different. Look out for Kevin Van Hentenryck (Dwayne from the Basket Case films) who cameos with his basket in the subway sequence.
2.5

Trash rating 4

I own this on DVD, but never finished it.

Used Future

12-14-08, 08:05 PM

I own this on DVD, but never finished it.

Sorry you didn't like it, but was it really necessary to quote the entire review just to tell me that?

TheUsualSuspect

12-15-08, 01:41 AM

Yes....yes it was.

Powdered Water

02-22-09, 01:16 AM

I know you've got some more of these gems for us UF. I have been digging on a few of these in the last few weeks.

We've caught Cherry 2000 (which was an absolute hoot!), Galaxy of Terror and Humanoids From the Deep. We really enjoyed all three. Don't keep me hanging dude I need more of these.

Used Future

02-22-09, 02:30 PM

Your wish is my command;)

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Scarecrows (William Wesley 1988) 2.5 Trash rating 3+
Written directed and edited by first timer William Wesley, Scarecrows flew under pretty much everyone's radar on its initial release back in 1988. Unsurprisingly Wesley has since made just one other film, the forgettable 2001 horror Route 666 starring Lou Diamond Phillips and Lori Petty. Scarecrows on the other hand has slowly attracted a small but loyal cult following over the years amongst fans of low budget horror. The film has a reputation for having an incredibly tense atmosphere, creepy sense of visual style, and very graphic but sparingly used gore effects. Perhaps most intriguing however is the claim by many that Scarecrows is the best of the (hardly prolific) 'killer scarecrow' horror sub-genre. I'd certainly go along with that, but seen as it's the only 'killer scarecrow' movie I've ever seen then 'that' isn't really saying much.

My first encounter with Scarecrows was on video back in the mid nineties. I vaguely remember being hung over at a friends flat one Sunday afternoon and us renting it out as a double bill with J.S. Cardone's Shadowzone. My memory of the film is equally vague; there wasn't any gore (usually important when you're nineteen years old), and the picture was extremely dark making it hard to see the action. I do remember preferring Shadowzone, but I digress; what I'm pertaining to is that it was almost certainly a censored version of the film. Although never officially trimmed by the BBFC the print submitted to them would most likely have been a pre-cut R rated version. As a result my interest in Scarecrows was only recently reignited after reading of an unrated Region 1 dvd release (shown above) with an excellent (lightened) picture transfer.

Set entirely at night, the film's plot concerns a group of ex-military criminals who, after a robbery, take an aircraft pilot and his daughter hostage forcing him to fly them to Mexico. En route however the gang are double crossed by one of their number who bails out with the money over remote farmland. Forced to give chase the heavily armed bunch land nearby deciding to head through the fields to a deserted farmhouse. Along the way they notice sinister looking scarecrows littering the landscape but casually think nothing of it. Eventually they catch up to the traitor but he seems oddly detached and unconcerned despite their threats of retribution. Only when team members begin to go missing do they speculate on what could be hunting them in such an isolated area...

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With such a great premise for an action/horror film, and considering some of the favorable reviews Scarecrows has garnered from horror buffs over the years; I was quite prepared to discount my initial viewing experience and embrace it as a forgotten classic. Unfortunately whilst I enjoyed the movie on a basic aesthetic level, I found the overall execution often painfully dumb (especially the dialogue) and uneventful. This instantly became apparent in the opening fifteen minutes which are taken up entirely by the gang's plane circling over fields looking for their escaped colleague. I just couldn't bring myself to overlook stupid details like them able to spot a man dressed in black from a speeding plane hundreds of feet up in the air...at night! Once the action hit terra firma things picked up slightly, the misty rural setting looked particularly creepy, and the (rarely glimpsed) scarecrows themselves appropriately intimidating. Still, I was left admiring the cool costume design and heavy artillery wondering when the action would eventually kick off. I had a similar impatient feeling when I first saw those huge guns in Aliens, but unlike Cameron's masterpiece Scarecrows only partially delivers on it's premise. Seemingly like Cameron, Wesley was also going for the same savvy mixture of suspense and balls-to-the-wall shoot em' up action; unfortunately it just doesn't work as well with bland stock characters, moderate acting, and an idiotic script that goes nowhere. When the action does finally come half way through it's extremely tense and satisfying with excellent makeup effects, and a real sense of danger. Sadly it's all too fleeting as Wesley settles into familiar stalk and slash territory for the final act, content to let his cast get picked off in all too familiar fashion.

Perhaps I'm being a little hard on a low budget film made twenty years ago with a cast of no name actors. Much of my disappointment no doubt comes as a result of reading such glowing write ups before viewing. To be fair Scarecrows is really rather good when compared with other cheap films of it's type from the period. Plus that sequence mid way through really did knock my socks off, and the scarecrows frankly, looked wicked. It just wasn't enough though. You see I know less is more, that not showing the monster is supposedly more suspenseful, but this is just one of those films that should have broken the rules.

Powdered Water

02-22-09, 04:39 PM

Never heard of it. Sounds pretty good to me. I'm going to see if I can track this down. Thanks buddy.

nebbit

02-22-09, 04:40 PM

Thanks Used, nice review of trash :yup:

Powdered Water

02-22-09, 04:46 PM

Btw, I watched an absolutely terribly wonderful flick last night by the name of: Revanche des mortes vivantes, La or Revenge of the Living Dead Girls. Whoooo boy! Man this was something alright. I mean, it was a dubbed and edited version so overall it was quite terrible but I will definitely be on the lookout for a DVD version.

You've seen this one haven't you?

Used Future

02-22-09, 04:53 PM

Powdered Water

02-22-09, 04:58 PM

Yeah, I want to see that. This is the sequel. I need to get a box set or something. The only one I can find online is the terrible edited version I saw last night. I may just have to plunk down some change and buy it off Amazon or something.

honeykid

02-26-09, 10:04 PM

No I've heard the title before but never seen it, sounds like my cup of tea...
...I have seen Jean Rollin's La Morte Vivanti aka The Living Dead Girl (1982) though. By the sounds of it you'll probably like that one too.:)

The words "Jean Rollin" in association with any film should be enough to interest any lover of trash film. :cool:

martian leader

02-26-09, 10:08 PM

Very nice. May need to see some of these films. :yup:

I might own a few of them. :yup:

Powdered Water

03-01-09, 09:21 PM

I just finished up Dead Heat UF, my god that was great! Piscopo... what a guy.

"This could be the end of a beautiful friendship."

Pyro Tramp

03-01-09, 10:14 PM

Wow, finally a review of a film of a film i actually own (Scarecrows)- never thought i'd see the day. Unfortunately i've seen Route 666 as well and that blew quite hard. Thought Scarecrows was a nicely self contained little film, in that it didn't get any ideas above it's station or undermine itself by emphasising the low-budget-ness of itself. Though it still was a pretty average film, i'd agree with your ratings on that one.

Used Future

03-17-09, 03:55 PM

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Cannibal Apocalypse aka Apocalypse Domani, Cannibals in the Streets, Invasion of the Flesh Hunters etc etc (Antonio Margheriti 1980) 3+ Trash rating 5
By virtue of it's title alone Cannibal Apocalypse falls into the dreaded Italian sub-genre of 'cannibal movies'. This incredibly graphic cycle arguably began in 1972 with Umberto Lenzi's Deep River Savages, and would gain worldwide notoriety and condemnation in 1980 with Ruggero Deodato's now infamous Cannibal Holocaust - a film the director nearly went to prison for on obscenity charges. The same year Umberto Lenzi had given the world Eaten Alive! but not content to be outdone by Deodato, would subsequently deliver one of the most violent movies ever made, 1981's Cannibal Ferox aka Make them Die Slowly. What nearly all these films had in common was their sickening scenes of animal violence, and graphic depiction of torture, rape and mutilation; all offset by often cheap production values and hammy acting. Not surprisingly many Cannibal films were banned in numerous countries throughout the world, not least the UK where initially as many as ten titles - including Cannibal Apocalypse - were named as video nasties - in-fact only three were ever officially branded obscene. Yup the 70's Cannibal genre has to be one of the most reviled in cinematic history and it's not hard to see why; I'm certainly not a fan. I am a fan of Cannibal Apocalypse though, because despite the title, it has nothing in common with it's namesakes other than the fact that cannibals are involved...

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Directed and co written (with Dardano Sacchetti) by Anotonio Margheriti, Cannibal Apocalypse was clearly trying to cash in on the late seventies/early eighties zombie boom made popular by George Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Lucio Fulci's even more lucrative Zombi 2 aka Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979). Marghariti, - often billed as Anthony Dawson for the US market - an experienced Italian director with a number of action and horror B-movies under his belt would place his own spin on the genre by adding a Vietnam war back story. Subsequently the film is often labeled a cross/cash-in of Francis Ford Coppola's seminal war movie Apocalypse Now (1979) and Dawn of the Dead. In reality however, Cannibal Apocalypse bears little resemblance to either and actually plays a lot more like David Cronenberg's Rabid (1977);all be it with a greater emphasis on the comic book action.

The film begins in Vietnam with Lieutenant Norman Hopper (B-movie favourite John Saxon) leading a strike force against a Viet-Cong cave system holding American P.O.W.'s. Everything looks normal until we see an injured Viet-Cong woman fall into a pit containing the prisoners who proceed to tear her apart for dinner. Finally Hopper shows up, and despite his initial revulsion, reaches into the pit regardless to drag his buddies out. Big mistake, cue closeup of Saxon's agonized expression as his buddy Charlie Bukowski - named after the American author/poet and played by Italian horror regular Giovani Lombardo Radice - takes a bite. Fast forward to post Vietnam America with Hopper complaining to his doctor of urges to bite people; followed by a visit from his insane buddy Bukowski who proceeds to wreak havok, infecting others and dragging Hopper down with him...

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Despite the Vietnam themed plot Cannibal Apocalypse never makes any attempt at social commentary whatsoever. Margheriti simply set out to deliver a cheap, entertaining action/horror film, and in that much he succeeded admirably. In-fact even without the depth I found the basic premise of Vietnam veterans infected by a cannibal virus intriguingly silly fun perfectly complemented by Margheriti's comic book approach. Not only is Cannibal Apocalypse good fun, but it's overlooked and underrated good fun to boot. Margheriti is no hack having cut his teeth on Spaghetti westerns, crime thrillers and horror films in the seventies, and it pays off here with some well choreographed (and very bloody) action scenes. Even the cast are good with Saxon effortlessly portraying Hopper as someone with a gritty levelheaded humanity who can't help but slide into depravity. Radice (billed as John Morghen) an old hand at this sort of thing steals the film though. He's by turns intense, manic and comical as the crazed Bukowski; who of all the characters I've seen him play in numerous Italian exploiters is easily my favourite. Most importantly Cannibal Apocalypse is perfectly paced and hence never dull - the nail in the coffin of many a cheap B-movie - it was made by an an experienced director and it shows. There's even a satisfyingly downbeat ending to cap off the gory action, and a great disco-funk soundtrack from Alexander Blonksteiner, making this one of my favourite B-movies. In an era where the 'Grindhouse' is back in vogue, Cannibal Apocalypse is essential viewing and shouldn't be disregarded just because of it's rather suspect title.

* UK horror fans can pick up the dvd easily and at a reasonable price, although the film is cut by two seconds (a shot of a burning rat). I have the R1 edition, but can't imagine the cut affects the viewing experience.

Powdered Water

03-17-09, 09:12 PM

Cool, I'm all over this bad boy. I tried to watch a couple of those "cannibal" flicks with the animal torture and I just couldn't do it. I thought I could watch anything, and I can but it was not enjoyable in the least so I turned it off. This one here sounds excellent however. Thanks again.

Used Future

03-17-09, 09:48 PM

Don't worry PW I don't like Cannibal films either for exactly the same reason, and would never recommend one. The ones I've seen are awfully sadistic, gratuitous and just thoroughly unpleasant to watch. I often wish Cannibal Apocalypse was called something else because although violent and gory, it's really nothing like those films at all. I hope you get to see it soon as I'm confident you'll really enjoy it;)

Used Future

03-19-09, 02:39 PM

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Hell Comes To Frogtown (Donald G. Jackson & R.J. Kizer 1987) 2.5- Trash rating 3.5
Being British I don't really know that much about Rowdy Roddy Piper except that he was a big time wrestler who went on to make a few action movies - most famously John Carpenter's minor cult classic They Live (1988). Hell Comes To Frogtown was one of his first forays into what we might loosely call 'acting'. The film was directed by Donald G. Jackson & R.J. Kizer, the former having since delivered some of the worst B-movies ever made - including three awful Frogtown sequels and the imaginatively titled Lingerie Kickboxer (1998). Kizer has mainly worked as a sound editor since, though back in 1982 he was associaste producer and editing supervisor on Arron Lipstadt's underrated Sci-Fi flick Android, and in 1981 worked on special effects for John Carpenter's Escape From New York - Let's hope he wasn't responsible for that paper wall. Frogtown was written by one Randall Frakes who also worked on Jackson's 'other franchise', his Rollerblade movies. Looking at the picture above you might think this was a parody of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, though whilst the frogs may vaguely resemble Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird's creations, Hell Comes To Frogtown as whole is quite different.

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After an amusing opening sequence involving a masked croaking gunman, we're once again told how there's been a nuclear war and the world has been ravaged leaving women in charge. Not only is there nothing left but california desert and dusty warehouses, but radiation has caused evolved mutations, and the population has been rendered infertile; all except Sam Hell (Piper looking like Steve Irwin) that is. No sooner are we introduced to our hero than he's captured by the female government who need him as a stud service. Poor Sam (or lucky depending on your outlook) is fitted with a male chastity belt doubling as a bomb set to go off should he stray more than a hundred yards from his captors. Yup Sam's crown jewels are government property and he's given a mission to locate and impregante a hareem of fertile women being held captive by mutant frogs. To help and keep him in check along the way are two female body guards, love interest Spangles (Sandahl Bergman) and tough chick Sentinella (Cec Verell) who looks like a Lara Croft prototype...

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Hell Comes To Frogtown is one of those ludicrously titled 'aiming for cult status' B-movies played entirely with tongue firmly in cheek. It's incredibly cheap looking, with what appears to be a pink Morris Minor (or it's American equivalent) with an M60 mounted on top serving as Sam's main mode of transport. Locations consist of one abandoned industrial estate out in the California desert, as most of the miniscule budget was undoubtedly spent on the better than average frog makeups. But for all it's budgetary shortcomings Hell Comes to Frogtown manages to be highly watchable and charming thanks to Piper's likable on screen persona, and some witty interplay with Bergman's sexy Spangles (did I really just say that?). I loved the exploding chastity belt idea and couldn't help laughing at the thought of Hell's unmentionables orbiting the nearest planet should his mission fail. It's lowbrow stuff indeed that often verges on soft porn - there's actually no nudity save for a pair of briefly glimpsed breasts - but carried off with such verve that it's hard not to go along with the fun. The film does drag in places with action scenes a little too few and far between, but such is the chemistry between Piper, Bergman and Verrell that the somewhat uneventful story is forgivable. What action scenes there are are slapdash and amateurish at best, this is most evident when an air bag can clearly been seen in shot towards the end of the film. Overall Hell Comes to Frogtown is really only recommended for goofy B-movie enthusiasts and Piper fans. It's not a gore movie, and there's hardly any real violence on offer if that's your thing. But if you like B-movies and think this looks like fun, chances are you'll enjoy it.

Justin

03-19-09, 03:23 PM

That one looks hilarious. Good reviews, keep them coming.

Used Future

03-19-09, 03:54 PM

Thanks! I thought I'd do a funny one after my last review.

honeykid

03-19-09, 10:43 PM

I love Hell Comes To Frogtown. It's just great, stupid B-movie fun. I had it on a tape which had a GnR concert before it. So, some friends, much alcohol and a Guns N Roses/Frogtown double feature made a great Saturday night more than once.

Used Future

03-23-09, 07:32 PM

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Blood Diner (Jackie Kong 1987) 2 Trash Rating 3+
This is Jackie Kong's tribute to Herschell Gordon Lewis's Blood Feast (1963) - probably the first splatter film ever made. Kong had already delivered a trio of forgettable turkeys including two comedies, 1984's Night Patrol starring Linda Blair, and the more appropriately titled The Underachievers in 1987. Trash lovers however will no doubt be more interested in his 1983 debut The Being; a schlocky creature feature involving toxic waste, and starring Martin Landau (a film I've sadly yet to see). Blood Diner would be Kong's first (and last) attempt at combining horror with comedy. It was written by Michael Sonye, who penned three other films the same year, but would mostly make a semi-living appearing in Z-movie dreck like Surf Nazis Must Die (1987) and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988). With such an inauspicious pedigree Blood Diner comes as something of a whacked out surprise and even has a minor cult reputation amongst splattter fans, so lets take a look....

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Sticking only loosely to Lewis's film which had a lone protagonist played by Mal Arnold; Blood Diner follows the Tutmans, homicidal Michael (Rick Burks) and his loon of a brother George (Carl Crew). The film begins with the childhood siblings receiving an impromptu visit from their deranged uncle Anwar (Drew Godderis who steals the movie). After knife wielding (but seemingly friendly) unc is gunned down by police; we skip forward twenty years to a scene with the adult brothers digging up his corpse and removing the brain for something or other. One murdered cop later and Anwar's talking disembodied brain is languishing in a jar (pictured) at the Brother's vegetarian diner. It's here that we learn of Anwar and the brothers dastardly plot to resurrect an ancient Egyptian goddess (ala Lewis's flick) by committing a series of dismemberment murders to use the parts in a black magic ritual, and serving the leftovers in the diner (in Lewis's flick Arnold served them at social functions). Throw in a a trio of inept, wooden cops investigating the murders (most notably Sheba played by the lovely LaNette Le France); some sacrificial love interest for Michael, not to mention a rival vegetarian diner owner and his talking dummy, and you have one of the craziest movies I've ever seen...

http://www.mutantreviewers.com/rblooddiner3.jpg http://www.mutantreviewers.com/rblooddiner4.jpg http://www.mutantreviewers.com/rblooddiner2.jpg

Blood Diner is a mixed bag in that much of the comedy feels forced and heavy handed thus missing the mark by light years. Perhaps it's just me but it took at least twenty minutes before I got to grips with the film's manic pace, crazed ultra-hammy performances and muddled narrative. Once I did I found Kong's overall sense of the absurd, colourful characters and imaginative touches ample compensation for the often clunky dialogue on offer. There's always something outlandishly kooky going on in Blood Diner, and whilst it might not be belly laugh material, some of the cast are mildly amusing; especially Godderis as the voice of Anwar and Max Morris as a demanding police chief. The film delivers everything you might expect from the genre, including a large amount of naked female flesh; not to mention frequent gore effects, which are clearly intended to be rubbery and cartoonish. It's puerile nonsense but energetic and enthusiastic, like a markedly less funny mixture of John Hughes's Weird Science (1985), Frank Henenlotter's Frankenhooker (1990), and Paul Bartel's Eating Raoul (1982). I should probably grow up and stop watching garbage like this, but found it impossible to hate a movie in which a naked woman Kung-Fu's a would-be murderer only to suffer death from a falling stalactite to the head. Plus the climactic zombie nightclub sequence complete with live musical act is an absolute riot, and may well have had a partial influence on Peter Jackson's Braindead (1992) and Robert Rodriguez's From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). Worth watching.

honeykid

03-23-09, 09:56 PM

Good review, as always, UF. :up:

I'd also like to add that, for anyone who hasn't seen Blood Feast, please do yourself a huge favour and rectify that ASAP. It really is one of the finest pieces of B- movie trash that you'll ever have the fortune of seeing. I'd also recommend Two Thousand Maniacs, remade a few years ago as 2001 Maniacs with Robert Englund.

Without wishing to hijack your thread UF, today I watched this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtHDUbRPs4c

It was ok and it did have its moments. I did like that it ended, almost, exactly as I wanted it to. That is to say that the leader of the gang died in the manner I hoped.

nebbit

03-25-09, 06:00 AM

Thanks Used, not my kind of movie :nope:

Used Future

04-20-09, 05:56 PM

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/24/214524.jpg http://i40.tinypic.com/2cifek7.jpg

Dead End Drive-In (Brian Trenchard-Smith 1986) 3+ Trash rating 4+
It's Brian Trenchard-Smith time again, he's the guy who gave us the ultraviolent manhunt flick Turkey Shoot (http://www.movieforums.com/community/showpost.php?p=457724&postcount=32), so you'd be forgiven for thinking this wallows in the same trough of gore and sleeze. The title would suggest another generic slasher variant, and the poster some weird Adam Ant vehicle (that would be Lee H. Katzin's World Gone Wild) but Dead End Drive-In is something else. Adapted from a story by Peter Carey (who wrote Oscar and Lucinda no less) the film is actually a rather fun and surprisingly intelligent science fiction yarn with more than a savvy hint of social commentary...

Ned Manning stars as Crabs (I'll let you think up the jokes) a young guy who borrows his brother's flash car so he can take his girlfriend (Carmen played by Natalie McCurry) to the drive-in. Nothing wrong with that right? Except it's the near future and Crabs lives in Australia, so you know what that means. Yup society is on the verge of collapse as gangs of leather clad punks wreak havoc on the highways. To make matters worse for Crabs the people at the drive-in lock the gates and steal his tires making making him a prisoner along with Carmen. Looking around they see everyone else is a prisoner there too, but strangely no-one seems to mind...

http://i39.tinypic.com/k180v8.jpg

Dead End Drive-In cleverly satirizes materialism and totalitarianism with it's amusing depiction of teens imprisoned without trial, subsequently pacified by free drugs, alcohol, and movies. The film isn't easily definable by genre, falling into that cult offbeat category somewhere between Science fiction, thriller, black comedy and horror. It's clearly a low budget affair but nevertheless looks fairly impressive thanks to Paul Murphy's dramatic cinematography, and Nicholas McCallum's ultra-cool art direction. The film has that familiar eighties post-punk aesthetic but it perfectly compliments the material, and should delight fans of eighties B-movies. Naturally we're not talking Kubrick here, but Dead End Drive-In has likable leads, (though some of the supporting cast are terrible) and a well paced narrative that doesn't play all it's cards too soon. The end result is a Kooky gem of a film, a little short on action and gore maybe, but undeniably fun, and a must for cult film fans.

Footnote: the film you see playing at the drive-in is Trenchard-Smith's Turkey Shoot.

nebbit

04-21-09, 05:31 AM

Thanks Future I have added it to my bigpond movie list :yup: I love a good trashy film :goof:

Used Future

04-21-09, 06:34 AM

It's well worth watching Nebbit, I'd recommend it to just about anyone on this site. Just out of interest though, what is your Big Pond movie list?

Used Future

04-21-09, 06:50 PM

Without wishing to hijack your thread UF, today I watched this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtHDUbRPs4c

I can imagine some art-house-loving Polanski fan renting this out by accident and not being best pleased;)

honeykid

04-21-09, 08:42 PM

And I'd love to be there when/if that happened. :laugh:

nebbit

04-22-09, 07:46 AM

It's well worth watching Nebbit, I'd recommend it to just about anyone on this site. Just out of interest though, what is your Big Pond movie list?
It is the Australian version of Ummm Netflicks is that the name of it :blush:

Used Future

04-22-09, 01:09 PM

It is the Australian version of Ummm Netflicks is that the name of it :blush:

Ahhh OK thanks Nebs.

Powdered Water

04-25-09, 05:51 PM

I just tracked down Street Trash. I can't wait to see it.

Powdered Water

05-16-09, 03:47 PM

Sorry I didn't get back to you UF, I caught Street Trash and one other. The name escapes me right now... Crap now its going to bug me all day. Anyway, I did enjoy them both. I saw them several weeks ago. I'm still trying to find several of the others. This is such a great thread.

Got anymore for me?

EDIT: Oh yeah! It was Blood Diner. Good stuff man!

Used Future

05-16-09, 04:57 PM

Glad you saw Street Trash PW, did you enjoy the melt effects and the end credits sequence? It's a depraved movie, but in a good way.

Actually, something tells me you probably preferred Blood Diner, it's got that goofy sense of humor you seem to like. Would love to see you tab them re your thoughts sometime:)

Anyways thanks for the kind words, I'll try and get some more reviews up soon (I have plenty of flicks lined up), it's just that I'm extremely lazy:blush:

Powdered Water

05-16-09, 05:04 PM

Yeah, I think you've pegged me pretty well, I did like Diner a little more.I've been watching so many flicks lately and haven't tabbed a thing. I too am lazy... :D

I'll give it a re-watch some day and try to check back in here at some point.

Used Future

06-01-09, 09:06 PM

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_APOTJWw25Hs/R-4FXUWl6_I/AAAAAAAAAEI/I0TfB8rZwiw/s320/BeastWithinPoster.jpghttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/_APOTJWw25Hs/R-3-hkWl6-I/AAAAAAAAAEA/y3ihwrrDF6I/s320/sss.jpg

The Beast Within (Philippe Mora 1982) 2 Trash rating 3
Adapted from Edward Levy's novel by Tom Holland (who would go on to write and direct the hugely entertaining Fright Night released in 1985); The Beast Within is a largely forgotten drive-in curio notable for Tom Burman's early 'air bladder' makeup work (a process involving the inflation of small balloons under prosthetic skin/masks) used so widely in eighties horror films. It's merely these two factors and the film's supposedly impressive 'final transformation sequence' that made this essential viewing for me. Indeed, director Philippe Mora has also delivered films of note since, but for all the wrong reasons. Anyone who's seen his may-cause-extreme-drowsiness turdfest Howling II...Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985) will surely attest to that; Oh and the less said about his 1989 alien abduction disaster Communion, the better...

The Beast Within kicks off with Eli and Caroline MacCleary (Ronny Cox in his pre Robocop 'good guy' days, and Bibi Besch) breaking down in misty remote back woods. As expected something nasty lurks in the bushes and once they get separated (as you know they will), Besch is subjected to a spot of interspecies hanky-panky with a slimy mutant half breed. Fast forward seventeen years with the MacCleary's now proud parents to a teenage son; Michael (Paul Clemens) who sweats profusely, and dresses like he's auditioning for Michael J Fox's part in Teen Wolf. By coincidence the MacCearys have returned to the same town where the rape took place, prompting smelly Michael (who's clearly not Eli's) to go on a blood drinking murder spree, before changing into whatever molested his mum and starting the cycle off again...

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4446/thebeastwithin2gp0.jpg
Oh God please, not Howling II!!!

Unsurprisingly everything about The Beast Within is merely second rate forgettable fodder and a bit of a missed opportunity. It's sometimes fun to watch, but evidence of Holland's subsequent talent is pretty much non existent as most of the film is extremely muddled, with poorly drawn characters, and a plot that rarely makes any sense (considering the simple premise). Worst of all, it's so under lit most of Tom Burman's makeup effects go completely unseen apart from 'the final transformation sequence' which thankfully takes place in a bright hospital. Said sequence is certainly memorable, but I found it laughably inept as opposed to sickeningly effective. Air bladder effects were clearly still an unperfected art back then (if you've seen the behind the scenes featurette re Rob Bottin's excellent work on The Howling then you'll know what I mean) and unfortunately Burman's attempt at a facial metamorphosis merely resembles a knobbly green party balloon covered in phlegm. Elsewhere there's a surprising amount of gore; Cox is good, and the creaky supporting cast are nowhere near as bad as some reviews make out (namely Don Gorden, R.G. Armstrong, and L.Q. Jones as Judge Curwin, Doc Schoonmaker and Sheriff Pool respectively). Throw into the mix one unintentionally hammy performance from Besch who never convinces as the mother, and a nonsensical middle act comprised almost entirely of murderous Michael looking about as intimidating as a Pokemon, and you have a film for afficionados of disappointment only.

Powdered Water

06-01-09, 09:48 PM

Good stuff. I'm about 95% certain that I've seen this and yet, like you mentioned, it may have been so forgettable that I can't really remember it. Oh well, I will watch it again at some point. The more I get into these 80's flicks the more I realize how daunting of a task it will be to try and watch, like... all of them, if possible. :laugh:

Anyway, are you a Troma team fan at all? A lot of them are more on the goofy horror side, (which is why I like them) but are there any that you've enjoyed?

Used Future

06-01-09, 09:56 PM

Anyway, are you a Troma team fan at all? A lot of them are more on the goofy horror side, (which is why I like them) but are there any that you've enjoyed?

I'm not really a fan of Troma; I didn't even like The Toxic Avenger that much (except for the classic bathroom mutation scene). I've also seen Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town which was pretty awful (one good bit on a school bus involving blind kids). The only one I actually like is Class Of Nuke-Em High, which I find hilariously funny.

Powdered Water

06-01-09, 10:05 PM

Yeah, I didn't think you would be. I also really like Nuke'Em High. I bet you never would have guessed that. :p

Edenvegan

06-02-09, 01:36 AM

Okay, I've been looking at this thread and I wonder number one, how on earth did you find/hear about all of these movies, and number two, with the exception of Demi Moore, what happened to all of the other actors in these pics? Are any of them on imdb.com? Where are they now? (I have a soft spot for the victims in horror films.)

nebbit

06-03-09, 08:36 AM

Great Trash :yup:

Used Future

06-04-09, 03:57 PM

Thanks for reading again Nebs:)

Okay, I've been looking at this thread and I wonder number one, how on earth did you find/hear about all of these movies, and number two, with the exception of Demi Moore, what happened to all of the other actors in these pics? Are any of them on imdb.com? Where are they now? (I have a soft spot for the victims in horror films.)

All of these films were available to rent on video (many of them censored) in the 80's and can be tracked down on dvd should you so desire. Re the cast members and IMDB, again you should be able to track all of them down.:)

Sedai

06-04-09, 04:54 PM

Good stuff, as usual! You are right about Howling II, as well. Quite the turd-fest. I did like the first one, though. Have you seen the wonderful Class of 1984? ;)

Used Future

06-04-09, 05:07 PM

Good stuff, as usual! You are right about Howling II, as well. Quite the turd-fest. I did like the first one, though. Have you seen the wonderful Class of 1984? ;)

Oh yeah I love that film, it's a cult classic, Timothy Van Patten was so awesome in it; he should have been a big star. Infact I think I'll do a review soon, I have it on dvd along with the semi-sequel (and even more trashy) Class of 1999, have you seen that one?

http://www.dvdinmypants.com/reviews/A-G/images/class84/PDVD_006.jpg
Stegman gives Chuck Palahniuk a few ideas in Class of 1984

kevbrownuk

06-04-09, 07:58 PM

i dont get the point

Yoda

06-04-09, 08:24 PM

i dont get the point
I don't get the point of this post.

nebbit

06-04-09, 09:08 PM

i dont get the point
Not sure what you mean :confused: if you mean why does Future write these reviews! can't he just do it for fun :yup: i like reading his reviews :yup:

Used Future

06-05-09, 07:29 PM

honeykid

06-05-09, 09:42 PM

lol... Don't you hate that UF? You think you've been clever and, maybe, even a little bit witty, but then you think of something that would completely ruin your joke and leave you looking an idiot.

FTR, I both liked your joke and not read the book. So, if I'd come up with the comment, I'd have fallen into the same trap. :D

Edenvegan

06-07-09, 01:47 AM

I suspect he may be referring to my somewhat obscure comment below the Timothy Van Patten picture. In that scene Van Patten's character Stegman smashes his head into the mirror so can accuse Mr. Norris (his teacher and arch nemesis played by Perry King) of assault. The scene is comparable to the one in Fight Club where Ed Norton's character beats himself up in his bosses office. Chuck Palahniuk wrote Fight Club, but I've not read the book so maybe I'm wrong and that scene only appeared in the film; in which case I look like a complete fool, Doh!

I saw this movie!!!--a few years back...crazy, but totally believable because of the directing and the acting. I remember now what the kids did at the highschool and didn't one of them play the piano really well and another one did something to King's wife? Sorry--I don't mean to spoil anything for anyone. :p

(Thanks for refreshing my memory.) P.S. I heard this movie was based on a true story...any truth to that?

honeykid

06-07-09, 03:03 AM

...I remember now what the kids did at the highschool and didn't one of them play the piano really well and another one did something to King's wife?

(Thanks for refreshing my memory.) P.S. I heard this movie was based on a true story...any truth to that?

It's Stegman that does both of those things. No idea if it was based on a true story or not.

I love Class Of '84. I spent over 20 years trying to find that film.

Powdered Water

06-07-09, 10:48 AM

Pretty sure its not based on true story. Although I used to run with dozens of kids just like Stegman. There was a lot of sh*t heads like Stegman around back then.

Used Future

07-06-09, 07:28 PM

http://www.blue-underground.com/boxcovers/BU1112DVD_m.jpg http://www.horrorexpress.com/images/rats2-390.jpg

Rats: Night of Terror (Bruno Mattei 1984) 1.5 Trash rating 3.5+
No trash cinema thread would be complete without a neck straining nod in the direction of the late Bruno Mattei. A sort of poor man's Lucio Fulci; Mattei was an Italian exploitation director responsible for some of the cheapest, trashiest pieces of Z-movie dreck this side of Ed Wood. Spanning a thirty year period from 1970 to 2007 he churned out over fifty films in numerous genres including nazi-sploitation like the infamous SS Extermination Love Camp (1977); women-in-prison-sploitation like Violence in a Women's Prison (1982) and Women's Prison Massacre (1983); zombie-sploitation like Hell of the Living Dead aka Zombie Creeping Flesh (1980) and Zombi 3 (1988); not to mention rip-off-sploitation like his scandalously titled 1995 TV movie Cruel Jaws (US title Jaws 5), and my favourite, Terminator II (1990). Yes you read that right, Terminator II. For many of these films Mattei was billed under numerous pseudonyms, the most well known of which is Vincent Dawn. This was to makes his films appear as American productions, but I can't help but jokingly imagine it was to avoid the wrath of certain Hollywood studios and directors. Indeed how Mattei and co were never sued over the plagiaristic content of some of his movies is beyond me...

http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats11.jpg http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats13.jpg http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats14.jpg

Co written with long time collaborator Claudio Fragasso, Rats: Night of Terror was no doubt heavily influenced by James Herbert's classic horror novel The Rats. In reality however the film bears more resemblance to the third novel in Herbert's trilogy (also released in 1984), Domain.

Set two hundred and twenty five years after a nuclear holocaust (or 'A.B. - after the bomb' as it's called here) Rats: Night of Terror begins with a grubby group of bikers called 'New Primitives' scavenging a familiar limestone quarry wasteland looking for food and shelter. With names like Kurt (the neckscarf wearing leader), Chocolate (the whiny blaxploitation wannabe), Video (the curly headed unfathomably stupid one), and Duke (the power hungry traitor who dresses like Napoleon Bonaparte); they're your usual bunch of childish posturing soon-to-be-deadsters complete with army surplus punk rocker wardrobes, and a clapped out armored van with wispy camouflage curtains. As the opening credits roll we see them arrive in an abandoned town where they proceed to take shelter in an old science lab (that reuses the same props from Luigi Cozzi's Contamination, and Umberto Lenzi's Nightmare City). But this is no ordinary science lab, oh no, this one was headed by researchers who were fiddling with rats and calling themselves the Total Elimination Group. Naturally this isn't good new for our grimy heroes...

http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats9.jpg http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats10.jpg http://www.cult-cinema.ru/pictures/screenshots/rats/t100/rats15.jpg

Rats: Night of Terror is an absolute hoot that would get a much higher rating if it wasn't so inept. Filled with priceless dialogue like 'If you must copulate, do it outside' to which one of the offending gang members replies 'awww but I'm just about to blast off'. This is juvenile fun that doesn't just deliver a man-eating-rat-movie, but a post apocalyptic man-eating-rat-movie to boot. Naturally the acting is all way over the top almost to the point of self parody, and the rat action? well, the rat action is perhaps the funniest (did I say funniest? I meant lamest) thing of all about this movie. Most of the time rat attack sequences involve one of the cast having a bucket of live domesticated rats poured over their heads before writhing around on the floor in agony. But in one choice sequence, Mattei needs the beasties to form a swarming attack and so resorts to using plastic rats on a conveyor belt. The resultant footage has to be seen to be believed and is well worth the rental fee alone. Unfortunately though much of Rats: Night of Terror is bogged down with inane talky sequences and the film is a little short in the gore department (though there is one memorable chest burrowing sequence). Where the film redeems itself is with Mattei's audaciously ludicrous ending - a sort of semi-homage to Planet of the Apes, except better and funnier; I kid you not. Overall I'd recommend checking this one out if you can pick it up cheap. Mattei's films may be bottom of the barrel guttertrash, but I've yet to see one I didn't find entertaining and Rats: Night of Terror was no exception.

Powdered Water

07-08-09, 12:55 AM

Looks fantastic UF. By the way I love the new disclaimer at the beginning of your thread. Very funny and worth a read for anyone who hasn't read it.

Used Future

07-18-09, 02:06 PM

http://classic-horror.com/images/nightofthecreepsposter.jpg http://www.joblo.com/images_arrownews/tom%20atkins%202.jpg

Night of the Creeps (Fred Dekker 1986) 3- Trash rating 5
A reject of both the USC and UCLA film schools Fred Dekker broke into the business when he wrote the story for the successful comedy horror flick House released in 1986. He would go on to co write (with Shane Black) and direct the hugely popular The Monster Squad the following year, but just as things were looking up; he ruined it all by delivering the less than satisfactory sequel Robocop 3. Since then Dekker has stuck to writing and producing on things like Tales from the Crypt (writer only) and most recently on the ill fated Star Trek: Enterprise television series. Night of the Creeps was his debut feature, a labour of love seemingly born of a lifelong passion for monster movies and comic books. It's become a firm cult favourite over the years, and it's not hard to see why...

Beginning with a group of pudgy alien dwarfs jettisoning a sinister cannister from their spaceship; Night of the Creeps quickly transfers the action to a 1950's sorority row on a nameless college campus. In a sequence with dialogue lifted straight from John Landis' Animal House, said cannister crashes to earth releasing a horde of giant slugs that like to invade people's brains turning them into zombies (ala David Cronenberg's Shivers). Fast forward to the eighties and we pick things up with Chris Romero (Jason Lively) and James 'J.C.' Carpenter (Steve Marshall); two hormonal college nerds who need a cadaver for a fraternity prank. After breaking into the college medical school they're soon thawing out a slug infected corpse that was put into cryo sleep after the initial invasion back in the fifties. Naturally the critters get loose infecting the students (and cats and dogs), and terrorising sorority row, including Romero's love interest Cindy Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow). Enter laconic police detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins on top form) looking for some serious payback after his teenage sweetheart was murdered during the initial invasion...

http://www.filmjunk.com/images/weblog/2009/04/nightofthecreeps.jpg

If the character names alone aren't enough it should be pretty obvious that Night of the Creeps is one great big in joke of a movie. Clearly a horror movie fanatic, Dekker took his favourite ingredients from similarly low budgeted cult favourites and blended them together into his own tongue-in-cheek romp. It succeeds not only because of the savvy in jokes, but because the dialogue is reasonably well written, and the the fast paced narrative is focused rather than merely self indulgent. Dekker pulls off a seamless genre blend between 1950's alien invasion flicks, 80's frathouse comedies, and action orientated zombie movies. Not only that but the cast are all extremely likable, be it Steve Marshall as the fast talking J.C., or Tom Atkins as the wisecracking detective Cameron (who sarcastically introduces himself as Bullwinkle Moose in one scene, and for some unexplained reason, likes to call Jason Lively's character Spanky). The film has it's fair share of gory comic book violence (including exploding heads, zombie cats, axe murders, and flamethrower death) but it's always integral to the plot, and as a result, never feels gratuitous or uneven in tone. My favourite scene has Roger Corman regular Dick Miller issue Tom Atkins with a flamethrower in a nod to his role in Joe Dante's The Howling. The film is littered with knowing references like this making it a treat for B-movie fans. I mean how could you fail to love a movie that begins in outer space with cool looking, lazer toting aliens, and ends in a sorority house with a battle against slug infected zombies? How indeed? Clearly a low budget trashy affair Night of the Creeps comes together to form more than the sum of it's parts. It's one of my favourite films and has since influenced countless cult favourites such as Peter Jackson's Braindead, and most obviously James Gunn's 2006 horror comedy Slither. Seek this one out, you'll love it. Thrill me!

* Sadly Night of the Creeps has never had an official dvd release, but don't despair horror fans. Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are said to be bringing out a dvd complete with extras in October.

Brother Blue

07-18-09, 02:41 PM

^^^ I have to see that. :D

honeykid

07-18-09, 03:43 PM

I really want to see this too. After all, if the words "a group of pudgy alien dwarfs jettisoning a sinister cannister from their spaceship" doesn't get me to see a film, nothing will.

BTW, as UF alluded to, there is a dvd release coming (October 20th 2009) and these are the extras.

ALL the special features to be included on the disc! Here it is:

Audio Commentary with Members of the Cast
Audio Commentary with Writer/Director Fred Dekker
Deleted Scenes
Alternate Ending – Theatrical Version
Original Theatrical Trailer
Trivia Track
6 Behind-the-Scenes Featurettes:
Birth of the Creeps - Writer/Director Fred Dekker discusses his influences and early filmmaking experiences and how NIGHT OF THE CREEPS evolved into his debut feature film.
Cast of the Creeps - Actors Jason Lively, Tom Atkins, Steve Marshall, and Actress Jill Whitlow talk about their experiences on the film, and how they have dealt with the film's enduring cult success over the past 25 years.
Creating the Creeps - Make-Up FX Creators David B. Miller, Robert Kurtzman and others discuss the extensive make-up creations in the film, and how they brought the slithering sluglike "creeps" to life.
Escape of the Creeps - A detailed look into the film's post-production and why the film was barely released to theatres with Writer/Director Fred Dekker, Composer Barry DeVorzon, and Producer Charles Gordon.
Legend of the Creeps - Final words from the cast & crew on the film's enduring cult popularity plus interviews with the film’s biggest fans.
Tom Atkins: Man of Action – A detailed look at the career of Tom Atkins with testimonials from filmmakers he’s worked with over the past thirty years.
Footage from the June 2009 cast reunion screening at The Original Alamo Drafthouse Cinema.

Used Future

07-18-09, 03:54 PM

Thanks for that HK. I really can't wait for the dvd because my old Fox ex-rental vhs is on it's last legs. I watched the film again this afternoon before posting the review and the sound was really crackly; not to mention the fuzzy picture:(

honeykid

07-18-09, 08:58 PM

No problem, UF.

Night Of The Creeps is one of those films that I've never been sure if I'd seen or not. It was on the videoshelves so much and I saw so many of that type of film, that many of them have blurred into one. But, from your review, I don't think I ever did. Surely I'd remember it, if only because I like Shivers so much. I'm looking forward to seeing it.

nebbit

07-19-09, 07:08 AM

Again great Trash :yup:

Powdered Water

07-30-09, 08:58 PM

Sadly this isn't an 80's movie but boy, does it ever seem like one. Have you seen Mindwarp UF?

http://i43.tinypic.com/ux542.jpg

Bruce Campbell cashing in on his Evil Dead fame in an altogether strange little movie. It also stars Angus Scrimm from the Phantasm movies.

http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/m/mindwarp-e.jpg

Pyro Tramp

07-30-09, 09:09 PM

Bruce + Campbell = sold

SoulInside

07-31-09, 03:34 PM

http://i874.photobucket.com/albums/ab302/MexicanStandoff_2009/lawnmower.jpg

Okay, it`s not exactly from the 80`s but it`s absolut Trash Deluxe:

The Lawnmover Man

Iroquois

08-01-09, 02:03 PM

Hey, Future, do you do requests?

Used Future

08-09-09, 09:15 PM

Sadly this isn't an 80's movie but boy, does it ever seem like one. Have you seen Mindwarp UF?

Bruce Campbell cashing in on his Evil Dead fame in an altogether strange little movie. It also stars Angus Scrimm from the Phantasm movies.

I know it as Brain Slasher, but haven't seen it all the way through. I started watching it on Youtube once but fell asleep - it was late.
Hey, Future, do you do requests?

I'll have to politely decline; kinda already got a list of flicks I want to put in the thread - sorry.

Iroquois

08-09-09, 11:42 PM

That's cool, not much of a point in asking because I'd only ever name movies I'd already seen or was going to see anyway.

CrippledYouth

08-22-09, 05:18 PM

I have to say, I really like these reviews! Good job! I love these kind of movies, and I've seen alot of the ones you reviewed so far, but there's also a couple I have to check out now! So thank you, and keep posting! (Sorry for the crappy English, I'm from Denmark) :D

CrippledYouth

08-29-09, 03:41 PM

When will we get a new review? :cool:

Used Future

08-29-09, 04:55 PM

Patience dragonfly ;)

Sedai

10-14-09, 02:44 PM

How about a nice Trash Review (Copyright: Used Future Productions) for Metalstorm:The Destruction of Jared-Syn?

This thing is pure garbage first frame to last...and yet.... ;)

Used Future

10-14-09, 04:02 PM

Sadly I've only ever seen the opening ten minutes of Metalstorm (it was awful and I just wasn't in the mood for it) but there are dozens more films I want to cover here.

I've been neglecting this thread recently and will try and get some new reviews up soon:)

Sedai

10-14-09, 05:52 PM

I watched the first 10 minutes today at lunch. It really is bottom of the barrel...and yet...

Used Future

10-14-09, 06:14 PM

Cyprus Corners by any chance? I've been a subscriber since last year; cool channel. There's a Cyprus Corners 2 now in HD.

Used Future

10-22-09, 09:23 AM

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BApUSasZ2nU/SqlwG8tJwvI/AAAAAAAAA5w/a06DtEdyhfQ/s400/motel+hell+poster.jpg http://i733.photobucket.com/albums/ww335/GialloFunk/3833936885_9b3fe64a51.jpg?t=1256205479

Motel Hell (Kevin Connor, 1980) 2.5 Trash rating 3.5

Meat's meat and a man's gotta eat!

Written by brothers Robert and Steven-Charles Jaffe (the latter of whom produced cult 70's robot flick Demon Seed, with subsequent production credits including cult favourites such as Near Dark and Strange Days); Motel Hell was clearly conceived as a send up of the Ed Gein mythos which in turn inspired films like Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, Jeff Gillen and Alan Ormsby's Deranged, and Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The film was directed by Brit filmmaker Kevin Connor who debuted with the Amicus horror compendium From Beyond the Grave and delivered a series of highly entertaining fantasy adventure films throughout the 70's; namely The Land that Time Forgot, At the Earth's Core, The People that Time Forgot, and Warlords of Atlantis (all of which were childhood favourites of mine). Motel Hell would signify something of a coming trend of 80's horror films that aped the slasher, cannibal and zombie themed films of the seventies whilst introducing a distinctly tongue-in-cheek 'comedy' element...

In a now familiar back country locale; farmer Vincent Smith (a grinning Roy Calhoun) and his overweight sister Ida (Nancy Parsons) run the Motel Hell'o' as a friendy rest stop for weary travellers. They're an amiable pair with a famous sideline in smoked meats, and a relaxed attitude when it comes to signing the guest register. People often travel for miles just to sample 'farmer Vincents fritters', and his brother, the local sheriff (Paul Linke) swears Vincent's 'ham' is the best in the country. Only trouble is Vincent and Ida are a couple of cannibals who regularly butcher guests and passers by for meat to use in his products. After all it takes all kinds of critters to make farmer Vincent's fritters...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PPgU44tBL8E/SgrVNzwVy5I/AAAAAAAABNg/Hnf-dBvxFvs/s400/motel+hell+2.jpg

It doesn't take a genius to work out that Motel Hell plays primarily as a parody of Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both Calhoun and particularly Parsons as his volatile sister are amusing (if a little too dead pan) as they attempt to come off as sinister and menacing whilst delivering a subtle blend of gallows humour. The film is very uneven in this respect; not helped by an unfathomably silly plot device involving the planting of victims in a cabbage patch, where they sever vocal chords and nurture them with fertilizer. Rather than maintaining a consistent knowing tone, Motel Hell veers rather awkwardly between horror and comedy with only partial success. When the film gets it right the results are fantastic, with a particular highlight a scene in which a couple of kinky sadomasochistic swingers (hilariously played by Elaine Joyce and E. Hampton Beagle) check in for some fun, and end up as dinner. Similarly effective is a chilling sequence in which a coupe of city girls are captured after falling foul of a trap involving fake cows in the road; resulting in a frantic car chase. These are merely brief high points in an otherwise average film though. All too often Motel Hell comes off as silly rather than funny; with baffling story turns like pretty young motel 'guest' Terry (Nina Axelrod) falling in love and agreeing to marry (the clearly ancient) Vincent, and a nosy veterinarian who wears his best suit to go sneaking around the Smith's slaughterhouse in the middle of the night. The film is well made though, and remains highly watchable, even charming - the scene where Sheriff Smith and Terry watch a drive-in movie through binoculars with the sound pumped through his police radio is another highlight. It's the climactic 'chainsaw fight' ending which no doubt cemented Motel Hell as a minor cult classic however. This final set piece in which Vincent wears a pig's head whilst doing battle is genuinely exciting, looks iconic, and finally delivers on the gore. Overall no comedy masterpiece, but well worth a look for fans of kooky, silly horror comedies.

Sedai

10-22-09, 11:19 AM

Actually, I have been watching the stuff on YouTube, in 10 minute chunks. I will check out the site you mentioned. The latest piece of **** that I watched was 1978's made-for-TV crap fest, Doctor Strange. Loved every second of it! ;)

mark f

10-22-09, 12:03 PM

I'm a fan of Motel Hell. I can see how it could bother a lot of people because things like the vocal cord slicing sent some people out of the theatre back in the day. I don't know if they made it back in time to see the tractor pop a wheelie. I'll also admit that if they didn't have the chainsaw duel that I wouldn't be nearly as big a fan. I can give it 3 without feeling guilty about it. Oh, by the way, I just checked the grocery ads and I'm buying a pound of Farmer John ham later on today.

Used Future

10-24-09, 01:37 PM

http://i733.photobucket.com/albums/ww335/GialloFunk/2552__x400_chopping_mall_poster_01.jpg?t=1256429064 http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iCDag7rZLqw/Sl0ncNB3biI/AAAAAAAAA2g/tetI_ycsg0E/s400/Violence.jpg

Chopping Mall aka Killbots (Jim Wynorski, 1986) 2.5 Trash rating 4
Chopping Mall was the first film produced by Roger Corman's Concord Pictures; the company he formed after selling New World to a group of investors back in 1983. The film was produced by his wife Julie and directed by prolific trash filmmaker Jim Wynorski who also co-scripted along with with TV writer Steve Mitchell. Wynorski would go on to write and direct a glut of ultra low budget slasher, monster and action films throughout the 80's and 90's, but is probably best known for Chopping Mall; his sequel to Steve Carver's 1974 success Big Bad Mamma, and the barbarian cheapie Deathstalker II. It's clear that with Chopping Mall Wynorski and Concord were attempting to cash in on the 80's slasher boom that took hold in the wake of films like Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980). What sets the film apart and makes it infinitely more interesting however is the science fiction robot slant most likely inspired by the huge success of James Cameron's The Terminator...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iCDag7rZLqw/Sl0oAFTNLCI/AAAAAAAAA4o/tG49VorMJ4k/s400/Headsplosion.jpg

In a possible nod to Romero's Dawn of the Dead the entire film takes place (as the title amusingly suggests) inside a huge inner city shopping mall. The story begins with a commercial for a robot security system in which a would be robber is electrocuted by a droid that looks suspiciously like Number 5 from Short Circuit (released the same year). After the mall bosses agree to buy three of the robots, we skip forward to a group of teens (most notably Kelly Maroney from Night of the Comet, and Barbara Crampton from Re-Animator) planning an illicit party in the mall after they finish work. They're your usual bunch of hormonal college types with big hair and an insatiable appetite for sex and cliched dialogue. There's the cocky gum-chewing jock type (John Terlesky) dating Crampton's character, and the nice guy nerd in glasses who looks like Rick Moranis (Tony O'Dell). Of course things don't go to plan when a storm kicks up, and lightening strikes the robot control room resulting in a 'short circuit' (hehe) that turns them into laser firing kill-bots. The rest of the film has the dwindling bunch turn guerilla after getting locked in by the automated security doors, and raiding Peckinpah's (geddit) sporting goods for some guns...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iCDag7rZLqw/Sl0nwI2ul7I/AAAAAAAAA3g/9N8IDcRX9Wc/s400/LittleFriends.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iCDag7rZLqw/Sl0oRkygqCI/AAAAAAAAA5A/LVWDNyU_l-4/s400/Zap.jpg

Chopping Mall is no long lost classic despite the flashy special effects and tight running time. It has a great central premise of teens trapped in a mall by killer security robots, but the script just isn't witty or clever enough to fully capitalise on the idea. The film is action packed with plenty of chases, explosions, and laser firing robot action, but none of it is particularly inventive or remarkable, and besides the infamous (and excellent) Suzee Slater exploding head sequence; there's precious little gore and violence on offer. Where Chopping Mall redeems it's self is with the knowing in-joke film references sprinkled throughout the film. First off we get a neat little cameo from Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel (of Death Race 2000, and Eating Raoul fame) who pop up making sarcastic quips during the robot demonstration sequence. Corman regular Dick Miller also puts in an all too brief appearance as a grumbling janitor, and just check out the posters in the burger bar; it's like a New World Pictures run down. Elsewhere Geritt Graham (Used Cars, TerrorVision) is sadly underused as a doomed computer technician, and we visit more amusingly named shops (Roger's Little Shop of Pets anyone?). So there you have it, Chopping Mall will probably only appeal to Corman fans and aficionados of low budget 80's horror. It's good, if undemanding fun that could have used a sharper script and a lot more gore. But Suzee Slater and Barbara Crampton both 'get em' out' as it were, and at a mere 77 minutes it doesn't outstay it's welcome. In my opinion it's films like Chopping Mall with their cool ideas that should be getting the glossy remake treatment, if only to improve on such a missed opportunity.

Powdered Water

11-21-09, 12:30 PM

Haven't seen Chopping Mall yet. Plan to though. Is that Johnny 5 in that picture?

Used Future

11-21-09, 12:55 PM

Haven't seen Chopping Mall yet. Plan to though. Is that Johnny 5 in that picture?

Hehe. Unfortunately the original masters of the film have been lost, so all the dvd releases are derived from a vhs source and look pretty awful. In other words it's not worth spending any money on. ;)

1badgmc

11-21-09, 01:33 PM

Hehe. Unfortunately the original masters of the film have been lost, so all the dvd releases are derived from a vhs source and look pretty awful. In other words it's not worth spending any money on. ;)

The picture is terrible, but if you can find it cheap enough, it is worth it. I got my copy for next to nothing.

CrippledYouth

11-25-09, 04:03 PM

Cool new reviews Future! I recently watched Chopping Mall, and also another "mall-horror" called Intruder from 1989. Great fun! :)

Red Ribbon

01-30-10, 09:47 AM

I think the BAD TASTE would be great in this list. LOL

Powdered Water

06-28-10, 08:25 PM

I miss UF, I sure hope he comes back and gives us some more of these. I just got my hands on several more of these. I can not wait to watch them.

honeykid

06-28-10, 09:52 PM

Yeah, UF betrayed us and went and got himself a life. :D

Seriously though, we do miss you mate. Get your arse back round here. :)

Used Future

07-22-10, 06:59 PM

Sorry, I missed this.

Well I'm touched...thanks guys :bashful: but I don't know when I'll post in this thread again; certainly no immediate plans. This has more to do with the movies I'm watching at the moment rather than a desire to shake my thang on MoFo...

Tis no secret I met someone special at the start of the year and have been spending lots of time with her...

Kathy and I moved in together recently, and she's been nagging at me to get back on this site because she knows the desire is there; just not always the energy.

Safe to say I have really missed posting here and comments like those mean a lot:)

Powdered Water

07-22-10, 10:06 PM

Congrats buddy. I actually didn't know you had gone and gotten yourself a life. Take your time, but please, don't completely disappear. We'll be here anytime.

LostboY

05-19-11, 12:33 AM

Well, I just got started around these parts, and I absolutely love this thread.

I will throw out a few- what about 976-evil. You win the secret toy surprise if you know who directed that without looking...

honeykid

05-19-11, 02:59 PM

I know, what's the prize?

UF's thread is superb. Sadly, he's not around too much anymore.

Sedai

05-19-11, 03:10 PM

He still pops on from time to time, and yes, I have a soft spot for his posts and for some of the films, too! I was able to slide a trash 80s sci-fi into my schedule last week!

Vert

07-18-11, 02:08 AM

Great review on The Blob. I used to be terrified of that movie when I was a kid from the trailer alone. Saw it again recently and it held up pretty well after all these years.

Used Future

07-20-11, 05:26 PM

Great review on The Blob. I used to be terrified of that movie when I was a kid from the trailer alone. Saw it again recently and it held up pretty well after all these years.

Thanks.

It's funny because I watched the film again a couple of months ago and completely changed my mind about Kevin Dillon in the lead.

Vert

07-26-11, 12:37 PM

I think the movie was ahead of it's time although the acting was average. Instead of being a remake with better technology it added a lot of elements to the story. I went back and watched Blob 2. It was like a partial comedy/horror flick which didn't excel in either area.

filmknight

07-26-11, 01:02 PM

Melanie Griffith never looked so good!

dvdmoviereviews

11-28-11, 02:49 PM

I'm stunned to say I've only seen one or two of these movie gems. I wonder if I might find them in a bargain bin somewhere?

RhiannonJP

12-05-11, 10:30 AM

I really enjoyed reading this thread! I'm a big fan of gore and I love anything where the effort has been put in to handmake monsters and animatronics etc. However I haven't seen any of the b-movies listed here... I've mostly seen the classics- Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm St, Evil Dead etc.
I think it's a real shame that we only really get CGI gore from most western films these days- the Japanese do prosthetics insanely well! I recommend the likes of Tokyo Gore Police and Meatball Machine for some extreme, insane and very well-made modern gore movies (with beautiful asian women to boot!)

HazeShmaze

12-09-11, 08:33 PM

Those pictures are gross lol.
If nobody has seen the movies in the list, you can watch them all here:

asalerno89

12-16-11, 09:20 PM

Why was this banned? I love horror movies and all of its gory scenes. Its the beauty of HolyWood.

akatemple

03-29-12, 02:51 PM

Such an awesome thread, I have seen most of these and the ones I haven't seen are really hard to get a copy of it seems, I love these types of movies, the type that are so bad they are good.

Sedai

03-29-12, 03:16 PM

Yeah, this thread is super fun to read, and I also enjoy some trash film here and there.

dadgumblah

04-16-12, 09:31 PM

Being relatively new here, I just checked out this thread, and I must say, UF, that this is a super thread! I have a weakness for movie cheese, and all of your picks certainly seem to fit the bill.

I only own one of them, Night of the Comet, which I love, but have seen a few, such as The Blob (loved it), Cherry 2000 (liked it a lot), and Night of the Creeps (which I desperately need to spring for). Ever since I saw the latter years ago, I've used the line "Thrill me!" many a time, sometimes inappropriately. :)

But, weak as I am, I have to see some of these. The pics of exploding heads and shellacked monster puppets have me laughing, along with your great reviews. Come back soon. In the interim, I'll try and hunt some of these down.

Used Future

04-24-12, 10:03 AM

Welcome to the forum dadgumblah and thanks for the kind comments.

That goes for you too akatemple.

It's always nice to know someone is reading the results of my hobby despite the clunky writing style, and over enthusiasm for what are essentially crap films.

dadgumblah you might also be interested in my Reviews from the Future thread - lots of trash in there too. :)

Sedai

05-21-14, 03:51 PM

Still love this thread...

honeykid

05-21-14, 11:37 PM

I know. I've pointed a good few members to this thread over the years. His other review thread, too.

Powdered Water

04-08-21, 02:04 AM

Just wanted to revive one of the better threads on mofo. Theres a bunch of these free to watch on Amazon prime. A lot of these flicks are great. Check em out.

Sedai

04-08-21, 09:41 AM

Just wanted to revive one of the better threads on mofo. Theres a bunch of theses free to watch on Amazon prime. A lot of these flicks are great. Check em out.

UF was a really cool fellow. I wish he would return!

Iroquois

04-08-21, 11:36 AM

Nah, we should be glad someone got out while they still could.

Man, I've seen too many of these movies...

skizzerflake

04-08-21, 02:41 PM

My favorite junk decade. They've been mentioned before, although not in this context, but two all time favorite junk movies from that time would be CHUD and Humanoids From the Deep. They're special because, on that night, my wife and I were trapped in a beachfront hotel in Virginia Beach, surrounded by the ocean, concrete building shaking, roads flooded, with hundred MPH winds, during a nor'easter that unexpectedly exploded in a matter of hours. My wife managed to sleep but I watched a double-monster feature with these two masterpieces. The next morning, it was all over and, after emptying the water out of our flooded car, we started for home.

CHUD was my favorite of the two, especially with ham actor John Hurd and scream queen Kim Geist. It's also a great New York movie. It's before the subway was cleaned up, when urban myth did have monsters in the sewers in the Big Apple. CHUDs are not allowed in the subway tunnels anymore, except in The Bronx, and most of them retired to Staten Island a while back although they're not allowed on the Ferry.

Humanoids From the Deep added to the CHUD experience. Yeah, the monster rape scene is pretty notorious, but what else would you expect? Plenty of movies have done that, just without the nudity. Just what did you think was happening in those 50's movies where the scream queen screamed and the movie faded out?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqDToaLuJ7I

Powdered Water

04-09-21, 03:41 AM

That was a really good post. Thank you.

skizzerflake

04-09-21, 11:55 PM

I'm back again from the 80's with another one - The Re-Animator. It bills itself as being from H P Lovecraft, but trust me, that prudish guy would never have come up with trash like this; even Cthulhu would be horrified. An evil, ambitious student comes up with a glowing green goo that brings dead animals back to life. Then it's time to try it on a human, but you need a fresh corpse to be sure it will works, so we have to get one of those. It sorta works, but, as you might expect, being an 80's gore fest, it's not a smooth reanimation and nothing goes according to plan.

The movie features blood, gore, severed heads, disembowelments and bloody murder. The scream queen is sexually assaulted by the severed head after its severing. This is all in the trailer (beware, it's quite a trailer) and it gets even worse in the parts that are not in the trailer. I recall it being referred to as a "pie fight in a slaughterhouse". It's definitely one of the high points or low points or whatever you call this, in the long history of trash, even horror-trash. When I first saw it, it was presented as midnight feature/comic relief in an otherwise rather staid film festival.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLJ8Z3PDEGU

skizzerflake

04-10-21, 02:50 AM

"The more you drive, the less intelligent you are" - One of many taglines from Repo Man, the 1984 punk-sci-fi-junk classic. People chase a car around in the desert. The car has some sort of ET that can dis-integrate you. Emilio Estevez has a bad attitude about canned food. What more do you need, except the trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLGrXGEMOSo

JayDee

04-10-21, 09:31 PM

One of my favourite threads and posters on here. When I saw this was active again I hoped he had returned

skizzerflake

04-14-21, 02:07 PM

So, how 'bout some Humanoids From the Deep. It's 1980, the best of decades for bad movies since the 1930's and monsters come to the beach. Not only are they monsters, but they are horny monsters, who see all that female flesh and go on a rampage. I think there area some cuts of this movie that are tamer than others, but you should see the untamed one for the full effect of movie trash and scaly humanoids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agKmgOf_HMQ

Kronos

04-23-21, 05:11 PM

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but i actually liked Rats: Night of Terror (1984) :D

skizzerflake

04-27-21, 10:59 PM

I don't know if this is quite horror, but it is fairly horrifying - Polyester (1981), by the infamous John Waters. Francine Fishpaw (Divine) lives in a squeaky clean suburb but "her" family is anything but but squeaky clean. Porn, drugs, alcohol abuse, abortions and abortion protestors, shoplifting and, of course, a son who is arrested as the Baltimore Foot Stomper, a guy who runs around stomping on feet of well dressed suburban women. When Lu-Lu attempts to get an illegal abortion, she is abducted in the trunk of a car by radical nuns who are going to take her, under duress, to a home for unwed girls, who are about to become mothers.

Things go really bad when the dog commits suicide by hanging and one daughter is about to sell her children into prostitution. As you can guess, all of this ends in an orgy of violence but Francine and her kids and newlyweds Cuddles and Heinz fade back into suburbia.

All of this mayhem was filmed on a budget that would not buy a BMW today. At the time, I knew about half of the cast and hence was invited to the world premiere in a small auditorium at the University of Baltimore. As usual for Waters early films, Divine (Glenn Milstead) was nowhere to be seen, although at the time, we would not have have recognized Milstead without his Divine personna.

When it was over, one of the attendees left the building an threw up on the sidewalk. It was remarked that Waters' latest triumph had just gotten its first review.

Important Note - It was the first film shot in "Odorama". When you entered the theater, you were given a scratch off card. On screen cues prompted you to scratch areas on the card that released vile odors cued to plot events, such as Divine's farts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrAkQ923Wk0