Op Ed: Text Messaging

[Sedai]

Oh text, how I loathe thee:
How is this more convenient than talking?



Let's get this right out there; I hate text messaging. No, hate isn't a strong enough word. I abhor text messaging. Somehow, over the last few years, this ridiculously annoying medium has insidiously permeated our society. As if people didn't have enough problems communicating with one another, now it seems society is embracing a mode of communication that removes all subtle inflection, tone, and body language, creating a frustrating and confusing arena for discourse.

Just this past week, I have run into multiple instances in which text messaging has been directly responsible for silly misunderstandings, missed communication, and foiled plans. Each time a text comes in, I ponder the motivation behind it. Is this person in a silly mood, and joking around? Are they mad? Did I say something in text that annoyed them but have no indication at all because all my friends have been reduced to little boxes of text on my cell phone? It's amazing how many statements can be misconstrued in their intent when you don't have any other indicators to reinforce the communication. I find myself constantly placing smilies at the end of my texts to make sure I don't accidentally piss someone off, because they don't know I am being coy, or daft or playing devils advocate.

I have a couple of friends who have fallen so deeply into the text world that they will actually answer questions or comments, in person, by texting back to you, WHILE THEY ARE SITTING NEXT TO YOU TALKING TO YOU.

Give.Me.A.Break.

Most conversations are turned into monosyllabic small talk because any attempt to go any deeper becomes frustrating because it takes so long and so much effort just to get a few sentences across without losing the flow of the discourse. Try talking to someone about anything beyond small talk, and it immediately becomes clear that the conversation is impossible, because you can't ponder the mysteries of life with someone that keeps responding "Ya," or "Word," or "Coo, u dwn r smthin?"

No, I am not down, I am just trying to have a conversation that goes beyond 2nd grade level.

I, for one, am realizing just how much I rely on body language and voice inflection when having a conversation. I am adrift in insecurity and confusion when attempting to text with people. If I am texting with a person, and they have to go the bathroom or they run out to the store, I grow more and more uneasy that i said something wrong, and they just bailed out of the conversation, so I sit and fret and worry because I have no CLUE what sort of climate the conversation has moved into.

I met a stunning girl a bit ago. She has a lot going for her. She owns a business, a home, and has a good group of friends I am starting to get to know. Sad thing is, I am pretty much ready to tell her to get lost, because she is a text FIEND. She can't hold a regular conversation for any length of time. Try to get into ANY subject that is a little bit heavy, and she lapses into a catatonic state and just completely ignores the fact that something was said, as if ignoring a random text message. When we go out, the entire evening is littered with her looking down into her lap, typing away at texts that come in every minute or so. NO FUN.

I see what is happening here. Any problem, any issue that is slightly unsettling, can be erased and ignored, quickly and easily. It's a false buffer zone for life, and for having to actually interact with people. Now, not everyone does this, but, it's happening to me enough that I am considering dropping the service from my phone, in an attempt to re-connect with some of my friends, with whom communications has deteriorated due to text.

I don't get it. We have all these supposedly convenient ways to communicate with people these days, but no one seems to actually talk to one another any more. I have friends I used to see regularly that I just never see or even hear from any more, because they will "Just see ya around MySpace" or something. Sorry, but, no thanks. I just don't want pages on a website for friends. Well, unless it's MoFo, but I have never actually met any of you in person, so, that's just fine. Also, none of you text me with annoying, useless goon talk on my cell phone...

Thoughts? Am I crazy? Old Fashioned? Is the world passing me by?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I was just thinking about my cell phone. It's too expensive and I'm not a chit-chatty person who's always on it. I wish I could get rid of it.

Text messages annoy me. Currently, I don't have a plan to receive unlimited text messages at a price, so everytime I get one from somebody it costs me. If they were free, maybe I wouldn't mind if it was someone I didn't wanna talk to - "well, at least they didn't call me!" - but when it costs me money, grrr, is it irritating...

[Pyro Tramp]

Well Sedai, i couldn't read more than two paragraphs of your ludicrous rant. Sometimes i can't be bothered to text so just call but with the internet and all these different forms of communication, even on here, surely they lack the human interaction you desire?

Don't normally have text conversations except when getting to know a lady friend, in which case it's an invaluable way to get into their pants.... i mean, get to know them. Most texts are general updates when its not always convenient to call or if it's not worth it, like "be there in 5 minutes". As for my texting, i religiously use preemptive and really dislike 'text language' which can be indecipherable and annoying. The only dislike i have for text is when you don't get a reply, which could be mistaken for being ignored when it's normally lack of credit or signal.

I think your problem is more with your friends than texting. Personally i've never had it or seen it interfere with friendships or socialising.

[Pyro Tramp]

It costs your to receive texts? Crazy.

[Sedai]

Don't normally have text conversations except when getting to know a lady friend, in which case it's an invaluable way to get into their pants.... i mean, get to know them.

Zuh? I can't disagree more. I think it just isn't possible to get to know someone well, their sense of humor etc. through minimal text on a cell phone. Something like MoFo is different, where you can wax on in paragraph form, or do an entire thesis if you want. This is the very reason I posted all this, because it seems extremely difficult to get to really know someone without actually interacting with them. It is for me, anyway.

It's odd too, because, I am sort of considered a social hub in my circle of friends; we meet at my house to go out etc.. I get along with almost everyone, and I am extremely personable, and I like to think, well liked in my social circles. That is why it is doubly frustrating to me. I usually handle any social situation with flying colors.

As for you never meeting anyone that had social issues because of text, I beg to differ, because here I am! ;)

[Sir Toose]

I'm with you Sedai. I think text messages can be a handy mode of communication when used judiciously... certainly NOT as a replacement for most other forms of communication though.

Well, unless it's MoFo, but I have never actually met any of you in person, so, that's just fine. Also, none of you text me with annoying, useless goon talk on my cell phone...
This is different though. In most cases people think out what they will post in response to an ongoing conversation.

Any 733t h4x0rz that would dare show up in here would get pwned in seconds. :D

[Sedai]

Agreed. I actually like to be able to think through rants etc. here on MoFo, to make sure I am ridiculing the person properly. Oh, I mean, to make sure I don;t just blurt out some angry nonsense or something.

I do concede that text CAN be useful, in the right sitch, but, I see people becoming overly reliant on it, and it is getting to me.

[Pyro Tramp]

Zuh? I can't disagree more. I think it just isn't possible to get to know someone well, their sense of humor etc. through minimal text on a cell phone. Something like MoFo is different, where you can wax on in paragraph form, or do an entire thesis if you want. This is the very reason I posted all this, because it seems extremely difficult to get to really know someone without actually interacting with them. It is for me, anyway.


Well, get to know maybe a bad term but i think now there is a phase in relationships after you meet a girl and get chatting to her, then to have some extended correspondence via text, or maybe email, msn etc. I can tell a lot about a girl from texting, if they have coherent punctuated texts and if they can maintain the flow of the conversation. I think all my relationships, mini relationships to one night stands have had some form of communication in mentioned manners.

Think this communication is in an in evasive way to insert yourself to someones life and leads to better things and can ironically, more often than not, be the way things are ended by.

[Sedai]

Yeah, I guess it's all how you look at it. I find my self constantly frustrated with trying to express myself in this ridiculously stunted fashion. Might just be me...

[Pyro Tramp]

But how much expression do you need in a text message?

"Hey, good day?" > "Yeah, not bad, was late for lecture. Grr"

"wHat You up to to tonight, i''m drunkk can.come over? x" > "Yeah, msee you in outside in 5 mins. xxx"

[Sedai]

Right, but, what if you were unable to get beyond that point in communication? I can't really get to know someone with drivel like that... Our lives are clearly very different, and, I think we look for different things in our women. I can get some ass if I want, I have never had issue with that, but, it really isn't my priority right at this point in time. I am looking for social chemistry and a connection that goes beyond a romp in the sack.

But, I'm old, so.... ;)

[Pyro Tramp]

Right, but, what if you were unable to get beyond that point in communication? I can't really get to know someone with drivel like that... Our lives are clearly very different, and, I think we look for different things in our women. I can get some ass if I want, I have never had issue with that, but, it really isn't my priority right at this point in time. I am looking for social chemistry and a connection that goes beyond a romp in the sack.

But, I'm old, so.... ;)

Oh, that wasn't meant to be 'getting to know' someone like i was saying about earlier. I was just trying to point out how texts don't need to be used to express much expression, they were just general texts try to illuminate the nature, in my eyes, of what texts are for. I really wasn't trying to make any suggestion on women but i think that texting is an in evasive way to insert yourself into someones life, not in a stalker way, but it's an easy way to show that you're interested in their life and opening point for discussion and way to arrange to meet up. No more than that, i don't see why social chemistry and connections are limited by or defined by text. If anything it's additional form of communication more than a replacement and i've never encountered it altering real social interactions in any form except enhancing, like if you loose your friends in a club or want to meet up with people. The only instance i've ever known a proper conversation to occur via text is with a female counter part; reading my texts from my girlfriend, most are regarding when we're meeting up and a couple of arguments/break ups and in the case of the latter i've not had trouble reading or expressing much emotion in and text format has been a plus because it's easier to process thoughts and get what you mean across. Secondly, reading texts from girl i had a one night with recently, they concern the whereabouts of my top and criticising MySpace and it's users so not exactly building social bridges but just a bit of banter, which inevitably lead into conversation when next saw her. Sometimes i can't be bothered to text and just ring because it's easier and you can actually have a conversation to discuss most often, going out. But anyway, to conclude i find personally that more often than not texting is a precursor to meeting with someone to have the things you criticise texts for loosing.

[Mrs. Darcy]

I agree with your initial post, Sedai. Text messaging is the bane of society! I know folks that can't spell or string together a grammatically correct sentence anymore because they write and speak like the abbreviated text they type.

I have never sent nor received a text message, and I rarely use the cell phone. Honestly, I don't care for any type of phone conversation if I can speak to someone in person. I need to see body language and demeanor to get to know someone. It takes more effort, but it's well worth it in my book.

[John McClane]

Zuh? I can't disagree more. I think it just isn't possible to get to know someone well, their sense of humor etc. through minimal text on a cell phone. Something like MoFo is different, where you can wax on in paragraph form, or do an entire thesis if you want. This is the very reason I posted all this, because it seems extremely difficult to get to really know someone without actually interacting with them. It is for me, anyway.Woah! Totally disagree. One of my absolute best friends (the one I took to prom) and I got to know each other through text messaging one summer. We texted all summer and then one day we decided to actually hang out in person. The first few minutes were a little awkward, but then we were in deep conversation because we already knew a lot about each other from texting. I haven't seen a negative side effect from texting, except for getting caught doing it in class. ;)

[Sedai]

Haven't seen a negative side effect? I think the one Darcy listed above is a real and present problem. Clearly a negative side effect.

[John McClane]

Haven't seen a negative side effect? I think the one Darcy listed above is a real and present problem. Clearly a negative side effect.I never said there weren't negative side effects. What I meant was that I haven't seen any negative side effects in my own usage.

[Sedai]

Oh, for sure. Hence my point. I think a lot of people are becoming so comfortable in text, that the value of actual interaction becomes minimized or awkward even. For the record, I don't think you are one of these people.

[Yoda]

I don't loathe texting, but I think Sedai's opinion has a bit more merit than you guys are giving it credit for. It is, in general, a poor way to communicate. As he points out, it lacks inflection. You could say that computers have the same problem, but with a keyboard ready you can at least provide the necessary context for a given thought. You can discern a good deal of my tone and feeling from reading this, even. But if I were to type "helo evry1 wutzup r u ther?" you'd have no idea what I was thinking, or feeling. If posting a message on a board is talking, then text-messaging is more like a monotone grunt.

It has its uses, to be sure. I'm the kind of person who likes phone calls to have a certain formality to them; a hello, a goodbye, and enough to say to justify making the call. I feel that's polite. Texting is good for little bits of information that don't really warrant the pleasantries of a phone call, which might take up more time than the relaying of the information itself. Messages like "running a few minutes late" or "can we move to 8:30?" are ideal for text-messaging. But the medium, as a whole, isn't good for prolonged communication in my mind.

Of course, I hate most internet abbreviations, so that might color my views a tad. Anything which encourages "r" and "u" instead of "are" and "you" is bound to raise my ire. It fits with the idea of most text messages, though: conveying information without elegance or regard for method. The common thread seems to be people who wish to convey a thought, but don't really give a damn whether or not it's grammatically correct. As long as the other person understands the basic idea, they're content.

So, as someone who finds the form and cadence of communication to be an important (and even enjoyable) part of the process, I can't really think too highly of texting.

[Yoda]

It costs your to receive texts? Crazy.
It costs me 10 cents to send a message, and 10 cents to receive one. I don't know if it's "crazy," however, because I don't have any plans related to text-messaging. I can buy a bundle of them for a few dollars a month, but find I use it rarely enough that it still costs less to pay as I go.

I'm sure some plans don't charge you for receiving messages, but I would imagine those plans have a higher base price than they would otherwise as a result.

[Pyro Tramp]

Haven't seen a negative side effect? I think the one Darcy listed above is a real and present problem. Clearly a negative side effect.

About not seeing body language to assess someone when getting to know them? Seems that the argument against texting is being placed in the context of getting to someone, either way, still don't see it as such a negative, sure it is a fact that Darcy notes but texting isn't the sole form of communication used when getting to know someone. I think it's almost absurd that such emphasis is being placed on text as a form of social communication; it's a quick-fire form to pass information between friends. And in the instance of getting to know someone i still don't see it as a problem, obviously the inherent problems remain but i still see it as an additional manner to get to know someone that doesn't interfere with the person to person moments.

The poor grammar as a consequence of texting just reflects the person, not the medium.

[Holden Pike]

I don't even own a cell phone, much less one with texting capabilities. Oh sure, I do feel like I'm missing out on "American Idol" voting, but somehow I've survived.

But honestly, I'm a bit of a Luddite [he typed on his computer into the internets]. If it isn't movie-related, I'm pretty much stuck in the '70s, technology wise. And yes, I am wearing bell-bottom corduroys right now.

[Yoda]

The poor grammar as a consequence of texting just reflects the person, not the medium.
I have to disagree with this. I'm a total stickler for grammar and spelling and all that, and even I find myself tempted to abbreviate more when texting. How could anyone not? It's slow and cumbersome on all but the best smart phones, even with practice.

[Pyro Tramp]

It costs me 10 cents to send a message, and 10 cents to receive one. I don't know if it's "crazy," however, because I don't have any plans related to text-messaging. I can buy a bundle of them for a few dollars a month, but find I use it rarely enough that it still costs less to pay as I go.

I'm sure some plans don't charge you for receiving messages, but I would imagine those plans have a higher base price than they would otherwise as a result.

The only instance i've heard of being charged to receive texts is when you're abroad. I'm guessing 'plan' translates over to 'contract' but even as pay as you go you still don't get charged to receive, in my contract i have unlimited texts and 500 minutes a month for £35.

[Yoda]

My plan is 450 minutes and 10 cents either way for text messaging, but it's only about $50, which comes out to less than £25. In other words, I don't think anything's really free here; if it doesn't cost anything to receive messages, that's probably reflected in a higher base charge. It's not free for the company, regardless, so it makes sense that the cost has to be made up somewhere.

[Pyro Tramp]

I have to disagree with this. I'm a total stickler for grammar and spelling and all that, and even I find myself tempted to abbreviate more when texting. How could anyone not? It's slow and cumbersome on all but the best smart phones, even with practice.

Well, i think if a person is lazy enough to not spell correctly in texts then it's that laziness that effects their grammar outside of texting. And i find preemptive text a HECK of a lot easier than shorthand texting, and even on basic preemptive i'd say there's no need to abbreviate, my current phone even preempts the entire sentences but it's the standard word preempting that is best and comes as standard on most phones. To press a a button say 2/3 times for one letter in a four letter word so 8-12 presses opposed to just four and maybe one scroll to get the right word, don't see how that's not easier or how texting is slow and cumbersome especially when preemptive is available on most standard phones.

[Sedai]

Agreed. If only others I know approached it in such a way. I mean, I find text useful when running late, etc., but I am running into very discouraging issues with moving beyond cutsie texts and into rewarding interactive discourse. Not all the time, mind you. Plenty of hang out sessions with friends or without that lead into quite pleasant evenings. Alas, the pleasant evenings are all the more reason our communication should be better. And, it is, at these times, but even stuff as simple as making plans to hang out is rife with misunderstood comments and lulls in the texting that make one or both of us think the other said something wrong...

Oi, this is a reply to Pyro's last post on the previous page. I managed to not see page two as I answered...

[voneil7]

You bring up some very good points Sedai. I personally only text when I am in a situation where it is easier. I take the train to work every day and it can be loud and hard to hear a person on the phone (mostly thanks to others who are very inconsiderate or do not have the ability to use their inside voice, but that's another thread altogether). I find that the perfect opportunity to text friends to see how they are or what plans are without annoying the people around me.

[jrs]

To me I think texting is an unncecessary addition. Just call the person. I don't get the big fascination with texting teenagers have these days. It's sooo odd.

[Ðèstîñy]

Oh text, how I loathe thee:
How is this more convenient than talking?



Let's get this right out there; I hate text messaging. No, hate isn't a strong enough word. I abhor text messaging. Somehow, over the last few years, this ridiculously annoying medium has insidiously permeated our society. As if people didn't have enough problems communicating with one another, now it seems society is embracing a mode of communication that removes all subtle inflection, tone, and body language, creating a frustrating and confusing arena for discourse.

I don't know how to text. I suppose you get a cell, which is something I don't have, and then order email service on it. If I have to use someone's cell, they usually have to show me how to use it just to make a call. I assume you use the number keys to type those annoying mini-words. Words like L8r, C, Ur, etc . . . (I think those are wrong!) hehe I do believe you can get to know someone on-line, but I prefer phone, or in person. I'm not a shy person, am known for being loud, and forward, so that doesn't bother me any. For my first few years on-line, I was mostly on long enough to meet people, then we talked on the phone. Then came the message boards, and it doesn't seem to go any farther than that. I've only talked to one My-Spacer on the phone, El-Tipo-Malo. All in all I have talked directly to 5-6, maybe 7 on-line people so far. Maybe eight. I can't remember. I have only met one . . . so far! This I'm sure of.

Zuh? I can't disagree more. I think it just isn't possible to get to know someone well, their sense of humor etc. through minimal text on a cell phone. Something like MoFo is different, where you can wax on in paragraph form, or do an entire thesis if you want. This is the very reason I posted all this, because it seems extremely difficult to get to really know someone without actually interacting with them. It is for me, anyway.

I think this works. I think it's pretty obvious that 7thson's a nut. :p


But, I'm old, so.... ;)

Didn't I say this in the video game thread?!? Hmmmm . . .

[Sexy Celebrity]

Since my last post here, I got unlimited text messaging on my phone, as well as a new phone -- I think my old phone falling into a toilet had something to do with that.

^^ Which made me enraged, by the way, because with a simple house phone, that never happened. Why must we all have to carry our phones on us everywhere? It's nice but at the same time it's annoying. I grew up in a house that had 20 phones in it - if not more. Everywhere you went in my house you could reach out and touch someone. Now, the house line has been disconnected and my parents just have cell phones. It's WEIRD.

Texting isn't bad. I have grown to enjoy it, actually.