Oh Crap....Help

[John McClane]

I'm going out on my first, actual date tomorrow. Please, please give me any and all advice. Thank you!

[gummo]

Assuming it's a girl you are dating:
Just be yourself. Also, humor is always good, it losens you both up. If you are going to a restaurant, DO NOT order for her, but let her order first! Reach for her hand when you are walking, or sitting at a movie. Most of all, be yourself! Don't put on a show for her to impress her. She chose to go out with the real you, not some phony wannabe.

[shirble]

I think you're a bit too young for my usual suggestion of a nice dinner followed by cloroform

[Yoda]

The most important thing, in my experience, is being relaxed, and you're more likely to be relaxed if you don't inflate the importance of the event. It's a date. There'll almost certainly be more, with her or someone else. That may sound somewhat cynical, but I think the worst thing you can do is build it up as some sort of life-altering event. It's significant that it's your first, but I think you'll be better off if you play it down a bit in your mind.

[John McClane]

I'm more, or less, just nervous about it all. Like when you stand up to give a speech to your classroom or such. You're just hoping you don't make a fool of yourself. That's all. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

My advice is, if it gets physical...

http://www.keystonehighways.com/files/81olivia.jpg

"PHYSICAL!"

Wear a condom. Each time.

Otherwise, in nine months...

http://www.fol.org/leap/leap2004/photo_album1/crying_baby.jpg

Or, for the rest of your life...

http://www.manbir-online.com/grafics/herpes_s.jpg

The latter is definitely not sexy.

Personally, I recommend abstinence. Please, take her to see Happy Feet, and make sure that's all that stays happy. Be home by 9 (PM!)

[Austruck]

Yeah, don't overthink it. My first date was with a guy before either of us could drive, so his mom took us to the movie theater. I made several mistakes on my first date:

-- Letting his mom pick us up in her station wagon full of Rottweilers. They were in the back and we were in the second seat, so I had Rottweiler slobber all over the back of my shirt by the time we got to the theater.

-- We saw "Blazing Saddles." I was in ninth grade, and although I'd seen it before, my date hadn't. For anyone who's seen that movie, you can probably understand why seeing it with a first date in ninth grade probably wasn't a good idea. Do you *laugh* at Lili Von Schtupp or not?

But it was a nice, innocuous date. And I look back on it fondly. :)

First date with current hubby (at age 37) was quite a different matter. Met on the internet and were finally meeting in person. I went home in my car afterwards (we had dinner, that's all) crying my eyes out (tough to drive like that!), saying I'd never go on another blind-type date again. Married him a little over a year later. SO, although first impressions might mean something, don't put too much stock in 'em. :)

Oh, and I definitely agree. No hanky panky. Sheesh. It's a shame we have to even say this. I agree with the "Happy Feet" idea too. No date movies. Too much pressure. Go for a fun comedy like that. Remember: You can't unsay something, and you can't go backwards. Slow and steady wins the race in dating. Don't try to impress her. Just be you. If you falsely impress her now, she'll just figure out who you are that much later anyway. Better she gets to know you right up front.

:)

And have fun!! And don't post all about it on your blog when you get home. ;)

[Sexy Celebrity]

-- Letting his mom pick us up in her station wagon full of Rottweilers. They were in the back and we were in the second seat, so I had Rottweiler slobber all over the back of my shirt by the time we got to the theater.

What the.... ? Did the mom think you might be a bad girl and she wanted the dogs to scare you and bite if you tried anything? Your date must have died of embarrassment.

http://www.colossalrottweilers.com/images/witpups15wks.jpg

Time capsule moment, above: Austruck's past. Rottweilers everywhere. From left to right: Michelle, David, Cookie, Bunyan, Grover & King.

[John McClane]

We're going to see The Pursuit of Happyness. I'll be leaving here in half an hour. Not nearly as nervous when I asked her but, still just a wee bit nervous. :yup:

[Yoda]

Good luck, man. Let us know how it goes. You know we live vicariously.

[Othelo]

I think you're a bit too young for my usual suggestion of a nice dinner followed by cloroform

Dammit woman! you stole my reply.

[Othelo]

-- We saw "Blazing Saddles." I was in ninth grade, and although I'd seen it before, my date hadn't. For anyone who's seen that movie, you can probably understand why seeing it with a first date in ninth grade probably wasn't a good idea. Do you *laugh* at Lili Von Schtupp or not?

But it was a nice, innocuous date. And I look back on it fondly. :)


Oh, and I definitely agree. No hanky panky. Sheesh. It's a shame we have to even say this. I agree with the "Happy Feet" idea too. No date movies. Too much pressure. Go for a fun comedy like that. Remember: You can't unsay something, and you can't go backwards. Slow and steady wins the race in dating. Don't try to impress her. Just be you. If you falsely impress her now, she'll just figure out who you are that much later anyway. Better she gets to know you right up front.

:)

And have fun!! And don't post all about it on your blog when you get home. ;)

See, I'm a big putz. I have dragged every single first date I have ever had to some art film or some wacky pythonesque comedy.

I guess it all depends on where and how you meet. Most of the people I have dated I knew in some fashion before the actual "date" the few I didn't I would always "test the mettle" by shocking or horrifying them with my filmic choices. Only with one had I never gotten a second date.

Well also a lot of the time for me the "hanky panky" was the first date. What can I say, I'm a slut.

The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of my "dates" have been friendships first, add a dash of "mm-mm" and there you have my entire dating history.

I hope it turns out well for you, definitely do not follow my pattern especially with someone who hasn't seen you naked yet. (skinny dipping and pool hoping were also a ready weapon in my dating arsenal, ahhh youth)

[Austruck]

SC, I think the mom was just running errands and took the dogs. We were one of the errands. I have a feeling that people who own dogs like that don't actually realize their effect on other people who, well, don't have dogs like that. ;)

He wasn't embarrassed. He got slobbered on too, and not by me. :)

We didn't date very long. We were only 14 and couldn't go anywhere anyway. Plus, well, he thought I was very funny but he was kinda, well, little more than a good audience. :)

[John McClane]

I'm happy to report that I'm still alive and that I survived the date. :)

It went well. About 3/4 fourths of the way into the film I got daring and moved my hand towards hers. Very slowly of course, didn't want to be found out to quick. ;) Long story short I held her hand through the last quarter of the film. It was rather uncomfortable at first but then, I lost feeling in my hand. ;)

[Othelo]

I'm happy to report that I'm still alive and that I survived the date. :)

It went well. About 3/4 fourths of the way into the film I got daring and moved my hand towards hers. Very slowly of course, didn't want to be found out to quick. ;) Long story short I held her hand through the last quarter of the film. It was rather uncomfortable at first but then, I lost feeling in my hand. ;)

That is the absolutely sweetest, coolest thing I have heard in the last week. Cheers!

[John McClane]

Just so you all are more informed, I've liked this chick for quite a while. I met her last year in Spanish and "dated" her, if you want to call it that, but broke it off after two weeks. Now a year later, since I can drive, I got daring enough to ask her out. Let's just see where things go.

[Pyro Tramp]

Now a year later, since I can drive, I got daring enough to ask her out. Let's just see where things go.


Ahhh, driving, the key to a womans heart. Definitely a big help. Unless you crash, with her with you.

[PimpDaShizzle V2.0]

GET HER DRUNK! Or even better, don't get her drunk and instead get yourself drunk. Act like a fool and be all grabby on her. "Treat a girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud." - Slackers Actually, it sounds like you're a pretty smooth operator. DaShiz salutes you! May you get this chick and be blessed with major poon-tang. Like SexyCeleb' said, wear a raincoat cause there's bound to be some acid rain in them panties.

[Othelo]

GET HER DRUNK! Or even better, don't get her drunk and instead get yourself drunk. Act like a fool and be all grabby on her. "Treat a girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud." - Slackers Actually, it sounds like you're a pretty smooth operator. DaShiz salutes you! May you get this chick and be blessed with major poon-tang. Like SexyCeleb' said, wear a raincoat cause there's bound to be some acid rain in them panties.

Thanks Pimp, I feel so much less like a slut now :)

[John McClane]

Ahhh, driving, the key to a womans heart. Definitely a big help. Unless you crash, with her with you.
Well, I can drive like a perfectionist when I want to so that's not a problem. As long as no one hits me. :)

[gummo]

Pimp, you are too funny!

[John McClane]

There has always been one thing about this girl that I've been worried about since I met her, she's a devout Baptist. However, I really do think I am a lot more mature then when I first met her. Like I said earlier, we will just have to see what happens. :yup:

[nebbit]

GTlad your date went well johnny :kiss:

[John McClane]

Question, I've talked to her a little bit since yesterday and I know I should be giving her some space, but the question is how much space?

[Zeiken]

Question, I've talked to her a little bit since yesterday and I know I should be giving her some space, but the question is how much space?

Hey- she bit the hook- now you have to reel her in. Its true that you have to be cautious; reel too fast and the hook will drop out. Reel too slow and you'll never get your fish.

I usually let them run with the line a bit, till im sure they have swallowed the bait, then i yank the line so hard the hook goes straight through their lip. Then you'll have it; then you'll know what it is to love. :D



but in all honesty i wouldnt give her too much space. Dont overwhelm her, but let her know that you're sitll there and you're still interested. Does she know that you enjoyed yourself? Did you set up the second date?

[John McClane]

but in all honesty i wouldnt give her too much space. Dont overwhelm her, but let her know that you're sitll there and you're still interested. Does she know that you enjoyed yourself? Did you set up the second date?Yes, I told her I had a lot of fun when I dropped her off but, we didn't set anything else up. I'm going to be giving her a call her soon and let her know that I do hope we can go out again sometime. Would it be obsessive to say I couldn't stop thinking about her? Because in all honesty, I haven't been able to since we when out. :yup:

[Zeiken]

[QUOTE=John McClaneWould it be obsessive to say I couldn't stop thinking about her? Because in all honesty, I haven't been able to since we when out. :yup:[/QUOTE]


thats sweet and all- but in my experience most women are easily scared in the early stages. That little gem can win you points down the line, but i would be careful using it this soon.

[John McClane]

Quick question, would saying I hope there's something more between us then just friendship be a good idea or a bad one? In place of the I couldn't stop thinking of you statement. Thanks. :)

[Austruck]

I think at this point just asking her out on a second date "says" what you need to say at this stage. My husband is a very quiet guy by nature, and I'm very talkative ... and trust me when I say this: He's a man of few words, and that's part of his appeal. He didn't say a word about how he felt about me for months and months. He would just quietly ask me out somewhere else. Then he'd ask me to a work-related event to meet his coworkers. Then later he asked me to attend church with him, where I met his aunt and uncle and other friends.

That sort of slow, welcome-to-my-world-and-family stuff -- just doing things together -- told me all I needed to know when I needed to know it.

You can't un-say something, so taking it slow doesn't hurt. Don't wait TOO long to ask her out again, but don't escalate it beyond just saying, "I had a nice time. Would you like to go to ... [a movie, dinner, whatever] on ... [day of week]?"

That tells her you're still interested. At this point that's all either of you need to know.

My two cents. :)

P.S. Glad it seems to have gone so well. Enjoy the happy feeling. Adds to the holidays to have someone to think of fondly, doesn't it? (I'm missing my hubby, who's out of town this holiday, and warm fuzzy thoughts are keeping me from getting lonely.)

[John McClane]

Austruck, I can honestly say you talked me out of something I might have regretted. Thanks a lot. Everything you said made perfect sense.

As for the fondly part, yea it really is a great thing. I haven't been able to get her out of my mind for the past 2 days now. I just wanna talk with her but, I don't want to suffocate her either! :eek: Gosh, this dating stuff is complicated sometimes.

[gummo]

Gosh, this dating stuff is complicated sometimes.

I am so glad I am not hunting anymore.

[John McClane]

Well, I just left a voice mail wishing her a Merry Christmas and asking her to grab a pretzel with me this Tuesday. The ball is in her court now. Let's see what happens. :)

[gummo]

Well, I just left a voice mail wishing her a Merry Christmas and asking her to grab a pretzel with me this Tuesday. The ball is in her court now. Let's see what happens. :)

Good luck buddy!

[nebbit]

Listen to Austruck she is very wise little http://smilies.vidahost.com/otn/animals/ride.gif even more so as she said exactly what i was going to say ;D

[John McClane]

Well, we just have to wait and see what she says. :nervous:

[John McClane]

Alright. I'll admit today was rather nerve racking but, as soon as I finally found a way to relax she got online. Now, just to make sure she got my message I casually asked if she had received it and she told me yes. Honestly, the next 15 minutes were unbearable. We were having a casual conversation, as casual as it can be between me and her, and she hadn't mentioned anything about the message. I thought I was about to explode at certain points. However, I knew I should just be calm and relax. So I tired my best and eventually she stated that she got my message and didn't know if she'd be able to go tomorrow. She thought she might have to do some cleaning. I, very much relieved, told her my entire day was free and that if she got time I'd be glad to take her. So however tomorrow pans out depends on her, her parents, and the grace of God. Haha. But really, this is great news. :yup:

[nebbit]

Nice to hear you have survived your anxiety :D

[John McClane]

Nice to hear you have survived your anxiety :DYes, so was I. But I have tomorrow's anxiety to look forward too. :)

[7thson]

Yes, so was I. But I have tomorrow's anxiety to look forward too. :)

I have a feeling she knows how deeply you feel and she feels the same thing, just in a different way, "the female way" to be exact. I have tried my whole life to try and figure women out and unlike most of my ambitions, I have failed in this area. I know why though; because they have not figured themselves out either :) . So I say take the advice from the women on the forum here, 'cause us guys are clueless when it comes to this field. Woman are wonderful and mysterious and they like confidence, but hate egomaniacs (that much I do know, at least this is the case for most woman anyway), and yes it is a fine line. Best advice I can give is to be yourself and be male, because if you try to win her by being someone you are not it just leads to sadness. Well good luck and keep us updated John.:)

[John McClane]

No problem. I will keep you updated.

Tonight, I was talking to her about a friend that asked me out tomorrow but, that was also the day we might go out. I said that the guy that asked was an ass, which he is, and that I wanted to keep the day free just in case she could go. She told me to go because she has seen "one to many people lose friends over a girl." I told her they were just acquaintances. I've never really hung out with people though, not a lot anyways. I personally can only count one person as a friend, but I didn't want to tell her that. I dunno why, but I didn't want to say that I spend most of my nights at home. Right now, she's the second best friend I have. Perhaps I should have told her that. I dunno really but, I don't see anything wrong with keeping a day open to see if a date can go through or not. I dunno, maybe I'm thinking too much on it. Someone wanna slap me? :)

[MovieMaker5087]

I won't.

Keep me posted.

Good luck, soldier.

[PimpDaShizzle V2.0]

No problem. I will keep you updated.

Tonight, I was talking to her about a friend that asked me out tomorrow but, that was also the day we might go out. I said that the guy that asked was an ass, which he is, and that I wanted to keep the day free just in case she could go. She told me to go because she has seen "one to many people lose friends over a girl." I told her they were just acquaintances. I've never really hung out with people though, not a lot anyways. I personally can only count one person as a friend, but I didn't want to tell her that. I dunno why, but I didn't want to say that I spend most of my nights at home. Right now, she's the second best friend I have. Perhaps I should have told her that. I dunno really but, I don't see anything wrong with keeping a day open to see if a date can go through or not. I dunno, maybe I'm thinking too much on it. Someone wanna slap me? :)
Look toward yourself for the answers to your questions. You're gonna' eventually have to make some decisions on your own. Might as well start now. If you want to talk to her every night, do it. If she likes that sort of thing she's obviously the right chicky-do for you. If she thinks that's a little much, then, oh well, move right along. Don't be offended or think you did something wrong. The only wrong thing you can do is not be yourself. If you're confident in being you, flaws and all, when a sexy senorita puts the dumps on you you'll know that it's no biggy, cause you're a playa... playa for real.

You can't listen to the radio and watch TV at the same time. Ricky Bobby taught me that.

[nebbit]

Someone wanna slap me? :)
ok http://bestsmileys.com/hitting/23.gif

[John McClane]

Yea Pimp, I think this has more or less just turned into my rant to figure things out thread. :yup:

Thanks nebbit. ;)

[Equilibrium]

Lol, glad to know someone is having luck with the woman they want!

Sorry if that sounded bitter.

My advice: be as relaxed about this as you can, you lose control and power when you get too high strung about anything. Not to mention you're young, really young, enjoy yourself.

[Zeiken]

I just thought i'd return for a last bit of advice. (also for all the folk still living the majesty of the highschool or middleschool years, or anyone, for that matter)

In my experience regret is the worst possible outcome of any situation, and that is precisely the outcome of most of my high school years. I will tell you right out that it is better to be rejected, brutally horribly rejected, than to sit back in the comfort zone and wonder 'what if.' Especially with girls.

chances are you're not going to find the girl of your dreams in high school. Those relationships arent destined to last more than a few months, perhaps, but that doesnt mean they arent important. You have to jump in at every opportunity, or for the rest of your life you'll be wondering what you could have learned from that one girl you never took a chance with.

So, john m'boy, you've taken the chance. In my opinion you've already avoided the worst possibbly outcome. Bravo! From here on out, no matter what happens, its only wisdom to be gained. Good luck.

[John McClane]

So, john m'boy, you've taken the chance. In my opinion you've already avoided the worst possibbly outcome. Bravo! From here on out, no matter what happens, its only wisdom to be gained. Good luck.Wisdom? Don't you mean new tricks? ;)

[Zeiken]

Don't you mean new tricks? ;)


Well, in the end- any pursuit of any woman really only comes down to tricks; simple tricks and nonsense. ;)

[nebbit]

Well, in the end- any pursuit of any woman really only comes down to tricks; simple tricks and nonsense. ;)
Oh really :p

[John McClane]

Oh really :p
Of course. You of all women here should know that. ;)

BTW, that girl really didn't seem that interested in me after the first date. When I make rules for my date life, I need to stick by them. Only atheist, Asian women. Or as I like to say, the AAW. ;)

[John McClane]

*Bump*

God, I was a stupid teenager. :D

[Monkeypunch]

*Bump*

God, I was a stupid teenager.

We all were, man. every last one of us. Some of us are even stupid adults. :D

[mark f]

Obviously, but :shrug:

[John McClane]

We all were, man. every last one of us. Some of us are even stupid adults. :DAre you trying to imply something?! :p

[Monkeypunch]

Are you trying to imply something?! :p

that I myself am a fairly stupid adult, yes. :D

[nebbit]

God, I was a stupid teenager. :D

Me too :yup:

[thebest]

I'm still rockin it adolescent style!

:D