Got turned down [Archive]

VeronicaJ

10-10-06, 01:20 PM

You know what irony really is? I told Randal to hook up with the girl because it was worth a shot, and after taking my own advise i got dumped and now i feel horrible :(

This is what happend:
we had a party at school and always before i go, my girls and i spend some time together to dress up and drink something. After a few hours i was (although it wasnt my first intention ;) ) pretty drunk. Ive been attracted to my best friend for about 3 years now with some big pauses between it, but lately the pauses were only a day big and i kinda felt we connected not only because hes just my best friend but also because there was some sexual chemestry.
Because of all the alcohol i kinda blurted out i loved him and he told me the following: 'You know you are my best friend and i like you better than all the other girls and more than a normal friend, but i just dont want a relationship. I really like you and youre the best friend ill ever have but i just dont want a girlfriend because it looks like making a statement more than declaring love or something.'
So i told him: 'Yeah... im sorry'
He: 'It's ok, i kinda already knew it. I just want to be friends.'
I was silent for a while, realizing he just turned me down and knew it. The ****ty thing was that IF i werent drunk i wouldnt have said it.
'Youre still gonna talk to me?'
'Yeah, you are my best friend remember?'
He hugged me. And since ive been down. And he avoided me for one day, he talked a little to me today. :(

Sedai

10-10-06, 01:47 PM

We haven't talked at all, but I can offer some advice here. I am just now trying to extricate myself from a 10 year relationship with a girl that started out as a close friend of 5+ years. So, I have known this girl for over 15 years, and we were together for 10. For the longest time, we held the belief that because we started off as great (best?) friends, we had an advantage over most couples. We understood (and still understand) one another on many, many levels. BUT... We are having a really, really rough time of dealing with this separation. It is looking like she will have to go into counselling, and I am not far behind. The fire isn't there for us anymore, but we have a ridiculous number of connections and bonds we can't seem to break. What do you do when the only person you feel like you understand, and that understands you, as much as another human can understand another, is doing damage to you, possibly on the irrepairable level? We still love one another, and always will, but the preservation of our friendship, which was there first, seems to be crushing the life out of both of us. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, and it consumes our lives.

My advice. Tread very lightly when considering taking a friendship beyond friendship. We talked long and hard, way, way back when we started considering getting into something serious with one another, and we knew the vast, friendship destroying danger that loomed if we took such steps. We are both in SERIOUS trouble. Our friendship will probably not survive, and Michelle is an absolute disaster at this point. That said, the way she went about leaving was quite possibly the worst way possible, so that is a BIG factor as well. This was in June, and each and every day is a trial for us, up to and including today. Why, just last night I cried myself to sleep...

Think about this.

VeronicaJ

10-11-06, 06:50 AM

B-card

10-11-06, 01:56 PM

im sorry for you.

Im so shy when it comes to love and he is even more. He still avoids me, while i told him on msn he could forget what i said, he said: do you want me to? And i said yes,. but he still avoids me.

It feels so weird, i used to hang out with him every day and we'd go off together just to spend some time alone and talk to each other, and now everywhere he sees me in school he turns his face down and avoids me.

We've got a big sportsday coming up, and as coincidence wants it, i have a danceclass with him.. damn, i wish i could talk to him

I know it's hard to forget someone but you have to do it.Forget him,don't torture yourself(the fact that you've spend so much together as friends and now he is acting like he doesn't know you,means that he wasn't your friend after all-all I'm saying is that friendship is above everithing) I'm sure that there are a lot of other boys in your school that you can go out with;)