View Full Version : Pickup Lines
Post the most Stupidest, Corniest, and/or Lamest pickup lines you have ever heard.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away! :rotfl:
I think there is an old thread similar to this, somewhere, I did a search but couldn't find it. :rolleyes:
I've got a pick up line that is guranteed to work:
"So...what's your friends name?"
How sleezy is this one:
You must be good at the flute cause you sure charm my snake.
"Your eyes are so pretty, can I see your ****?"
I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty
Woman.
Lance McCool
03-20-05, 12:26 AM
"If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
If I could rearrange your face I would put it in my lap.
LordSlaytan
03-20-05, 01:52 AM
"Get me a beer, bitch!"
SamsoniteDelilah
03-20-05, 01:53 AM
I think there is an old thread similar to this, somewhere, I did a search but couldn't find it. :rolleyes:
I remember that one...
The funniest I've heard begins with the words "Nice shoes..."
Was it: "Nice shoes, now show me your ****!"..? If not..should be.
SamsoniteDelilah
03-20-05, 01:58 AM
Was it: "Nice shoes, now show me your ****!"..? If not..should be.
It was less subtle than that.
Hmmmmmmmmmm..Maybe..."Nice shoes..and your eyes are pretty, and I like the way you smell, and I love the way your skin feels, and your knees are sexy, and I love the way the light reflects off of your cheeks, and my oh my your hair is so soft, and my goodness you have such wonderful hips, and..hey baby I like your toes, they are sexy, and...Darling if you were a pile of rocks I would love to grind you ..and I like the way your voice tingles my spine..oh yeah ....................and "SHOW ME YOUR ****!!!.."
heh heh sry am a bit drunk....luv ya all.... I think.
"SHOW ME YOUR ****!!!..".
Oh ok http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/boobies.gif
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!
Oh ok http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/boobies.gif
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
LordSlaytan
03-20-05, 03:02 AM
"Hey baby, wanna avoid gettin' your ass whuped?"
"Are your parents retarded, because you special!"
LordSlaytan
03-20-05, 03:15 AM
"Are your parents retarded, because you special!":laugh:
"Hey! The circus must be in town!"
"Hey baby, wanna avoid gettin' your ass whuped?"
:nope:
http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage03/1.gif http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/whipg.gif http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage03/1.gif
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes :randy:
Are those moon pants, because that ass is out of this world!
If this doesn't reek of desperation than I don't know what does.
391 reasons to date Dale (http://www.skirtman.org/newreasons.html) :rotfl:
undercoverlover
03-20-05, 03:17 PM
'You're ugly, I'm drunk. You do the math.'
I find "hi, what's your name?" works fairly well, believe it or not.
MovieMaker5087
03-20-05, 03:36 PM
"The sun must be jealous, cuz you're so hot".
I get this feeling that there is something between us. Maybe we should take our clothes off and see if thats it.
I think the sleaziest one I've come across is:
Did you know the word of the day is legs? So what do you say we go back to my place and spread the word?
Who says something like that to a stranger and not as a joke?
A friend of mine was being lectured by his minister father one day. To make a point his father pointed to some 'questionable' girls on the corner and said "Now see, those are the type of girls I don't want you associating with". My friend, without batting an eye, rolls down the window and says:
"Hey baby, wanna breed?"
Keep in mind we were 13 or 14 years old... Classic :)
MovieMaker5087
03-20-05, 05:32 PM
Here's a good joke to play on her (guranteed a response) :
In a way, sex is like Math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don't mulitply.
"My wife doesn't understand me"
I think the sleaziest one I've come across is:
Did you know the word of the day is legs? So what do you say we go back to my place and spread the word?
Who says something like that to a stranger and not as a joke?
That has to be the sleaziest one so far! :eek:
Tacitus
03-20-05, 07:40 PM
An old friend, a blunt (is there any other kind?) Yorkshireman had alarming success walking up to women in clubs and shouting "Do ye shag?"
I was, of course, much more polite - "Would you mind awfully if we had sex?"
This is one is pretty decent, I might accept it:
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
chicagofrog
03-22-05, 08:51 AM
Hi, you prefer French style or Spanish style?
"Hey is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants" :eek:
I'm a fotune teller and i predict that in about two minutes your going to be snogging me
undead_bunny
03-27-05, 07:27 PM
Hey baybeh, hows bouts yous and mes go bang a chang chang beind that ol' pickup truck. What'd ya say, toots?
"So... wanna fump?"
*"Fump" - (adj.) To **** and hump at the same time.
Go up to a woman and ask her if she would check if your tongue tastes fuuny.
Report back to me if it worked
The Sarge
04-04-05, 08:43 PM
So you're pretty goog looking. What's your mom like? Is she a go'er?
Went to Passion on saturday night.... told this woman she "absoluteley fu**ing ruled the dancefloor". Cue her being all over me for the next 30mins after she replied with " thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me". Clubbers, you just gotta love them.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you.
blibblobblib
04-07-05, 09:47 PM
"Will you touch my willy and make it big?"
blibblobblib
04-07-05, 09:47 PM
"I'm so lonely."
"Tell ya what, if I fail to get you off then you wont have to ever see me again"
Sexy Celebrity
04-20-05, 09:26 PM
Sly, cool, and absolutely the best corny pickup lines. They always work. Try these out for yourself:
"I'm your UPS delivery man. Will you please sign for a naughty spanking?"
"Those breasts of yours are way too small. But at least they'll fit in my hands."
"Do you ever fantasize about playing bumper cars with your clothes off? I know I do."
"Charming is a three letter word... S-E-X. There, I've finally said it, now let's do it!"
"Can I ask you something? Will you **** me?"
"That butt of yours is mighty fine. Even an X-ray of it would drive me crazy."
"I'm thinking about something sexy that the two of us could do together... ooooh. It's so good, Salma Hayek is translating your part in spanish. Si! Si! Si!"
"I heard that you went to the zoo yesterday. Did any of the animals try to jump on you?"
"I've left the oven on my house... but I don't care if everything burns down. You've got a bed at your place, don't ya?"
"The government is trying to make it so that everyday will be everyone's birthday... Why? Because so many men want the chance to spank you."
"Hey, I've maxed out all of my credit cards. Can I max you out now?"
"Something about me feels furry... oh, yes, of course. I have a feather boa on hand. Let me put it on you, babe. I wanna see a show."
"What a typical day. The weather has not changed a bit, either. But did you hear that they're calling for snow? I hope you don't get too cold when we're doing it outdoors."
EDIT: "HELLLPPPP!!!! I've gotten up and I can't fall down!"
blibblobblib
04-20-05, 09:53 PM
Some of those are just odd...and maybe a little creepy.
"Salma Hayek is translating your part in spanish. Si! Si! Si!" :eek:
Sexy Celebrity
04-20-05, 09:58 PM
Well, use at your discretion.
Godsend
04-20-05, 11:03 PM
"I bet you have a beautiful smile"
Most likely she'll smile, and then take it from there Romeo.
If not...say guess not.
edit: It's not stupid or corny...it works :eek:
"I bet you have a beautiful smile"
Most likely she'll smile, and then take it from there Romeo.
If not...say guess not.
edit: It's not stupid or corny...it works :eek:Thats cool, unless when she smiles you only see one tooth, then ...well your kinda stuck aintya?
Medieval Pick Up Lines
- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"
- "Been there, slain that."
- "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"
- "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
- "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."
- "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."
- Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."
- "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"
- "Your hovel or mine?"
- "Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"
- "Dost thou practice safe hex?"
- "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."
- "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."
- "You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."
- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"
- "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"
- "You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!"
- "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"
- "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."
- "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?"
- "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."
- "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."
- "C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."
- "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"
blibblobblib
04-22-05, 04:53 PM
Caveman Pick up lines
"You. Me. Sex. Now."
*Thump...Drag*
"I eat. You. Later."
Medieval Pick Up Lines
- "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
- "Your hovel or mine?"
- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"
:laugh:
Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your head.
Did you order the Soap Drop soup?
That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your freshly- healed knife wound.
Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?
You're new here... let me debrief you and introduce you to the penal system.
You look even better in person than you did on America's Most Wanted.
If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life.
Is your name 'Escape Tunnel'? Because I've been digging you all night.
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