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Movie Forums :: Reviews :: Stay Away from Stuck on You |
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Posted on 12/22/03
Stay Away from Stuck on You
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Words can scarcely describe how disappointing I found the new Farrelly brothers' film, Stuck On You, to be. It's not that the brothers' work has always been good, but that even their lesser efforts have been funny enough to keep them from being total wastes of time. The same cannot be said, however, about Stuck On You; it's quite simply a disaster.
Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear play conjoined twins, Bob and Walt, who are connected at the hip, and share a liver. The brothers run a lively fast food hamburger joint in Martha's Vineyard, but Kinnear's Walt has dreams of Hollywood stardom and he drags Bob - who suffers from acute panic attacks when he's onstage with Walt - along to L.A. to give acting a shot.
Although it would seem that this premise has some pretty good comedic possibilities it becomes quickly apparent that it's really just a one-joke gimmick. Every gag revolves around the inseparability of the brothers, and this fact is so completely obvious that none of the jokes about it are ever funny. There is not one single belly laugh to be had in the whole film, and, at best, there are four or five chuckles scattered about the film's seemingly interminable two-hour running length.
When the brothers arrive in California things start to look more promising, but it's really little more than a comedic mirage. Bob has a date with an e-mail girlfriend he's corresponded with for three years, but he's failed to disclose the fact that he's a conjoined twin, and Walt gets a part on a TV series with Cher. There should be enough comedic meat in those set-ups to construct some hilarious shenanigans, but the Farrelly's stick to the painfully obvious, one-note humor that they opened with, and at this point it's not only unfunny; it's annoying, and things only manage to get worse.
Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear give the roles their best shots, but it just isn't enough. They aren't great comedic actors to begin with, and there is no way they could be expected to make this material work. It's a stale, unfunny, uninspired script. Better comedy actors might have been able to make the movie funnier, but they certainly wouldn't have been able to make it work.
The Farrellys are known for their politically incorrect style, but there is a surprising lack of that style in Stuck On You. In fact, towards the end of the film the Farrelly's even sink to cloying sentimentality in an effort to fill the comedic void with buckets of sap in place of the missing laughs. However, it comes off as forced and desperate rather than honest and heartfelt, and it succeeded only in making my eyes roll.
The only scene in the whole film that I honestly found enjoyable was the musical number that closes movie, but I don't know whether this was because it was entertaining or because I knew that the movie was finally going to be over. It was probably a combination of the two. And no matter how entertaining the final scene was, it wasn't enough to erase the painful memories of the two previous hours, and when I left theater I was mad at myself for watching the entire movie.
In short, Stuck On You is a boring, unfunny, tiresome piece of cinematic garbage with better than even odds at making my list of the ten worst films of the year. You'll be doing yourself a big favor by staying far, far away from this one.
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