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Who's That Girl


WHO'S THAT GIRL



Directed by James Foley
Released in 1987
Starring Madonna as Nikki Finn, Griffin Dunne as Louden Trott, Haviland Morris as Wendy Worthington, John McMartin as Mr. Worthington, Coati Mundi as Raoul, Dennis Burkley as Benny, Robert Swan as Detective Bellson, Drew Pillsbury as Detective Doyle, John Mills as Montgomery Bell, James Dietz as Buck and Faith Minton as Donovan

Move over, Mannequin -- the IN movie this year from 1987 is Who's That Girl, the box office bomb from Madonna that spawned its own Who's That Girl Madonna World Tour in the '80s.

Considered by many to be one of the worst movies ever made (among thousands - millions? - more that share the same reputation), Who's That Girl features an almost unrecognizable Madonna as Nicole "Nikki" Finn, a street smart gal from Philadelphia who's been in jail for four years for a crime she did NOT commit. Madonna here is so unlike the Madonna we've known her as in real life that you (or at least I) kinda hate her for not being more Nikki Finn-like in person. I actually kinda miss whatever happened to this crazy woman. It's almost as if she's an actress we either never saw again or she died from the Sexy Curse or something.



It's the day before Louden Trott's (Griffin Dunne of American Werewolf in London, After Hours and Dallas Buyers Club) wedding. He's an attorney working under Mr. Worthington... and he's marrying Mr. Worthington's daughter, played by that bimbo everyone knows as the rich girl who took a nude shower in front of Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles.

Mr. Worthington, however, has a dirty little secret -- four years ago, he hired two goons to murder Nikki Finn's boyfriend, who then stuffed the body in the trunk of Nikki's car, framing her for murder. Somehow - AFTER ONLY FOUR YEARS - Nikki is getting out of jail due to good behavior (pretty shocking how she was able to get out on "good behavior" considering the things she does during the rest of the film, but she has her ways). Wrapped around Nikki's neck, however, on a necklace -- is a key. The key to a safe deposit box at a bank. Her boyfriend gave her the key, and the safe deposit box contains evidence that will point to the real murderer of her boyfriend. But she needs to find out which bank the box is at, and what the box number is. Yes, her boyfriend probably should have just told her, but according to the cartoon that plays during the opening credits which tells us the backstory (while Madonna's "Causing a Commotion" plays on the soundtrack), her boyfriend was on the run, ran by her, dropped the key in her hand and then continued running away, from the bad guys, presumably, who soon shot him to death.



SO.... (are you still with me?) ..... Mr. Worthington wants to make sure that Madonna/Nikki Finn gets on the bus to Philadelphia, so she won't stay in New York and go do some business of finding the real bad guys. He sends out Louden to go pick her up from jail. Louden already has a tight, busy schedule since he is getting married the next day. This should go smoothly, right? WRONG. Nikki Finn gets into the driver's seat of his family's luxury car, turns on the ignition, and off they go, zigzagging down the road and stopping at malls and Harlem to purchase guns, McDonald's, you name it. It's an adventure through New York with Madonna, full of violence and grand theft. She is a Bad Girl and she will not be denied. She will know vengeance!

The film is zany and funny and truly one of a kind. There's even a rare tiger in the backseat of Louden's car that rides along with them, whom he is supposed to deliver. Nikki names the tiger Murray. If you've ever seen the old Katharine Hepburn film, Bringing Up Baby -- this film is kinda like that. It was inspired by it.



Nothing in the film is really realistic. It's like a cartoon. The film begins with a cartoon in the opening credits and it pretty much stays a cartoon even in live action. Near the end of the movie, Madonna finally boards that bus to Philadelphia, but then she realizes that she needs to turn around and head back to stop Louden's wedding. The bus turns around for her. The passengers (mostly black women) even exit the bus and crash the wedding, immediately heading towards the tables with food on them. All while a major Madonna soundtrack plays practically continuously.

Basically, it's a crazy love story. Nikki and Louden do fall in love. She breaks up the marriage. But that's okay because the bride's father is a murderer and the bride herself has slept with every disgusting looking taxi cab driver in New York (in their cabs!) She and Louden eventually head back to Philadelphia with two rare tigers (Murray finds himself a mate, too).



Madonna seems to have been inspired by the rebels and bad boy films of the 1950's here. Besides a nod to Marlon Brando when she kisses a poster of him from The Wild One in her jail cell, she herself is dressed almost like a member of that movie. Intriguing androgynous sexuality is played with via the character of Donovan, Nikki Finn's lesbian-ish prison warden, a tall, glamorously mannish actress who seems to have a love/hate relationship with Nikki. And the casting choice of Liz Sheridan (Jerry's mom on Seinfeld) as a nurse is interesting, too, since I know for a fact that Liz Sheridan is an old girlfriend of James Dean (she wrote a book about their relationship, dizzy & jimmy). Madonna seems to be exploring old Hollywood legends here in this movie. Not long after this movie came out, she made "Vogue", the song where she reads off a list of old glamorous Hollywood actors and actresses, like Marlon Brando and James Dean.

Who's That Girl has a notorious reputation as a bad movie, but frankly, I think it's great for what it is. The style is over the top and ridiculous, but why should every movie have to be serious? It's good to watch once. IN FACT, as I was mentioning to SilentVamp just a moment ago.... remember when I said I was gonna nominate a bad movie for the current Hall of Fame? Who's That Girl was gonna be it. Yes. You all would have been watching Who's That Girl if I had joined that Hall of Fame.