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Ted 2
Hello fellow MoFos! It is once again time for another addition of At the Theater with The Gunslinger45! I remember the summer of 2012. It was one of the better summer movie seasons of recent memory. Some crap aside (Snow White and the Huntsman among others), there were some kick ass flicks released that year. The Avengers was released and set all kinds of box office records, Expendables 2 was awesome, Paranorman was pretty damn creative, Rock of Ages was a very surprising guilty pleasure, and the Dark Knight Rises was okay. But the other movie to stand out that summer was Ted. A movie where a teddy bear comes to life, grows up, and starts swearing and smoking lots of pot. And despite it being a Seth MacFarlene project (who is VERY hit and miss for me) I really loved that movie. Saw it multiple times in the theater with coworkers and friends. It had a unique premise, excellent jokes, perfect timing, a great cast, and was just a damn good time. So when I heard a sequel was in the works I got excited. Then I saw the trailer and was not excited. I mean you went from a story where a guy has to give up living with his teddy bear to take his relationship with his long time girlfriend to the next level to what is essentially a movie trying to draw parallels with gay marriage, slavery and the Civil Rights movement. Don’t take my word for it; the movie draws that ham fisted comparison on its own. Now as someone who supports the gays getting married, while the spirit of the movie is in the right place it makes me wonder if the foul mouthed teddy bear movie is the right venue for this message? I mean Trey Parker and Matt Stone have made political points in their shows and movies with crazier execution (Team America), but they have talent. And Seth MacFarlene is the poster child for mediocrity. So… how was this movie in relation to Ted? In short, it was funny, but far inferior to the original. The long version? Well grab your bong and grab a hit of a hilariously named strain of weed as we look at Ted 2.
So it has been about a year since the events of the first movie and Ted and Tammy Lyne have finally tied the knot. And after some shaky times, they realize they want to have a baby. Kinda hard to get man chowder from a teddy bear though, so they go the route of invetro-fertilization. But due to health issues, Tammy can’t get pregnant. So they try to adopt. Their adoption application is denied however since in the eyes of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts; Ted is not considered a person. He is considered a teddy bear and is deemed property. As a result, Ted’s marriage is annulled, he loses his job and his bank account is shut down. Ted and John (Mark Wahlberg) now have to fight to get Ted’s civil rights back. They enlist the aid of a bright young attorney named Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to take the issue to the Massachusetts Supreme Court. The rest of the movie deals with the Ted’s legal battles as well as a sub plot where the main antagonist from the first movie Donny returns to make an underhanded deal with Hasbro.
Okay let’s start with negatives. The premise of the movie is a giant plot hole. The movie states that Ted has flown under the radar and has gotten by without any issues since he was pretty much an unemployed celebrity figure for years. It was only when Ted applied to become a foster parent that someone decided he was not a person. So the issue is; why was this never an issue for him when he was getting a job? Last I checked in order get a job you have to supply some info proving citizenship, residency, and a Social Security Number. The man has been having money taken out of his checks for whatever state taxes are automatically deducted (so that I don’t pay taxes line is BS). But most notably why was Ted even allowed to get married? I mean a teddy bear and a model quality blonde step into the offices to register their marriage and whatever other paper work there is to get hitched and NO ONE noticed this? Now the film tries to say “it was an oversight” but it is really just lazy writing. Either that or MacFarlene is trying way too hard to tie this to gay marriage. And why the hell would the bank close his account? Pretty sure Chase is not going to care enough about someone’s personal legal battles unless that person is laundering money through the bank. Also they knew he was a bear walking when he opened the account, so what changed things? And why is Ted still a cashier? He got promoted to store manager. So many questions not answered. Another HUGE issue I had with this movie was what they did to John’s wife Lori. Mila Kunis was pregnant at the time of this film’s production. So either she could not or would not be in the film. So instead of writing Lori out of the film meta style by saying “she popped out a kid and went to Philly to visit he family” they instead say she and John got a divorce. I mean really? This is the second time this year the marriage of a previous film was ended by this lazy deus ex crappina. Not only is it resorting to Paul Blart 2 levels of writing, but it too also made the first movie kinda pointless. All that growing up Johnny did was for nothing. All so now they can make way for the new hot lawyer love interest in Sam. I mean was it that hard to get Mila to do either a quick cameo to let people know she and John are still together, even if it is literally a phoned in part? Was Sam really needed to be John’s new squeeze? Can’t she just be their lawyer? Then again maybe I am expecting too much from Seth MacFarlene. Also the humor is not as consistent as the first one which had perfect timing. This movie is more typical Seth MacFarlene. And by that I mean some jokes really work, while others really suck. Liam Neeson makes a pointless cameo, there is a running gag about candy being left out on lawyer’s desk that was dull, and Seth tries to be clever is some of his political satire but fails there as well. And then other jokes that were set up really well go on for way too long. There is a really funny scene concerning John’s computer and the degree and nature of his porn. The premise was great but Seth drags it on for way too long. Same goes for a running gag concerning Google and a certain member of the anatomy always showing up in searches. It was funny the first few times, but is brought up so many times it stopped being funny. There is also another REALLY well set up gag in one scene where Seth makes a damn good parody of a big reveal from a certain classic summer blockbuster (which may or may not have a sequel out this year). Right down to the reactions and the music. But then he kills the gag with one line that was a quote from the film, but it just did not make any sense at all in that context. Seth also does more then a few call back jokes from the first movie. Most of which do fall flat.
But that being said, there are still positives to the film. While this movie is not as consistently funny as the first one, over all it is still pretty funny. Even with some of the comedic fails and some of the horrible writing decisions, I still walked away overall amused. Some of the high points of the film’s comedy include when John and Ted try to get sperm for Tammy Lyne from Sam Jones, Tom Brady, and a fertility clinic; and Patrick Warburton’s return as Guy and his new boyfriend (played by Michael Dorn). But the best comedy comes from the banter and gags between Ted and John. A great deal of that is because of the great chemistry between Seth and Mark, and the fact that Mark Wahlberg is really freaking funny. Also despite Mila Kunis not being in the movie, Amanda Seyfried was a really good replacement. She had excellent timing, was very funny, and felt like she fit in with these two delinquent stoners. And while she and Mark are not lighting up the screen like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, they do have good chemistry together. There are also a few gags that do push the boundaries of what is acceptable, but they do work in the end.
Overall this was not a bad experience. I laughed, and really that is all that is needed from a comedy. But there are just too many elements to the film that are too bad to ignore. While I won’t say it is a bad movie it is hard to say this was a good movie or even recommend it. If you liked the first Ted I would say see it, but unless you are a diehard fan of the first movie, you can wait until this shows up on Red Box.
Ted 2
Hello fellow MoFos! It is once again time for another addition of At the Theater with The Gunslinger45! I remember the summer of 2012. It was one of the better summer movie seasons of recent memory. Some crap aside (Snow White and the Huntsman among others), there were some kick ass flicks released that year. The Avengers was released and set all kinds of box office records, Expendables 2 was awesome, Paranorman was pretty damn creative, Rock of Ages was a very surprising guilty pleasure, and the Dark Knight Rises was okay. But the other movie to stand out that summer was Ted. A movie where a teddy bear comes to life, grows up, and starts swearing and smoking lots of pot. And despite it being a Seth MacFarlene project (who is VERY hit and miss for me) I really loved that movie. Saw it multiple times in the theater with coworkers and friends. It had a unique premise, excellent jokes, perfect timing, a great cast, and was just a damn good time. So when I heard a sequel was in the works I got excited. Then I saw the trailer and was not excited. I mean you went from a story where a guy has to give up living with his teddy bear to take his relationship with his long time girlfriend to the next level to what is essentially a movie trying to draw parallels with gay marriage, slavery and the Civil Rights movement. Don’t take my word for it; the movie draws that ham fisted comparison on its own. Now as someone who supports the gays getting married, while the spirit of the movie is in the right place it makes me wonder if the foul mouthed teddy bear movie is the right venue for this message? I mean Trey Parker and Matt Stone have made political points in their shows and movies with crazier execution (Team America), but they have talent. And Seth MacFarlene is the poster child for mediocrity. So… how was this movie in relation to Ted? In short, it was funny, but far inferior to the original. The long version? Well grab your bong and grab a hit of a hilariously named strain of weed as we look at Ted 2.
So it has been about a year since the events of the first movie and Ted and Tammy Lyne have finally tied the knot. And after some shaky times, they realize they want to have a baby. Kinda hard to get man chowder from a teddy bear though, so they go the route of invetro-fertilization. But due to health issues, Tammy can’t get pregnant. So they try to adopt. Their adoption application is denied however since in the eyes of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts; Ted is not considered a person. He is considered a teddy bear and is deemed property. As a result, Ted’s marriage is annulled, he loses his job and his bank account is shut down. Ted and John (Mark Wahlberg) now have to fight to get Ted’s civil rights back. They enlist the aid of a bright young attorney named Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to take the issue to the Massachusetts Supreme Court. The rest of the movie deals with the Ted’s legal battles as well as a sub plot where the main antagonist from the first movie Donny returns to make an underhanded deal with Hasbro.
Okay let’s start with negatives. The premise of the movie is a giant plot hole. The movie states that Ted has flown under the radar and has gotten by without any issues since he was pretty much an unemployed celebrity figure for years. It was only when Ted applied to become a foster parent that someone decided he was not a person. So the issue is; why was this never an issue for him when he was getting a job? Last I checked in order get a job you have to supply some info proving citizenship, residency, and a Social Security Number. The man has been having money taken out of his checks for whatever state taxes are automatically deducted (so that I don’t pay taxes line is BS). But most notably why was Ted even allowed to get married? I mean a teddy bear and a model quality blonde step into the offices to register their marriage and whatever other paper work there is to get hitched and NO ONE noticed this? Now the film tries to say “it was an oversight” but it is really just lazy writing. Either that or MacFarlene is trying way too hard to tie this to gay marriage. And why the hell would the bank close his account? Pretty sure Chase is not going to care enough about someone’s personal legal battles unless that person is laundering money through the bank. Also they knew he was a bear walking when he opened the account, so what changed things? And why is Ted still a cashier? He got promoted to store manager. So many questions not answered. Another HUGE issue I had with this movie was what they did to John’s wife Lori. Mila Kunis was pregnant at the time of this film’s production. So either she could not or would not be in the film. So instead of writing Lori out of the film meta style by saying “she popped out a kid and went to Philly to visit he family” they instead say she and John got a divorce. I mean really? This is the second time this year the marriage of a previous film was ended by this lazy deus ex crappina. Not only is it resorting to Paul Blart 2 levels of writing, but it too also made the first movie kinda pointless. All that growing up Johnny did was for nothing. All so now they can make way for the new hot lawyer love interest in Sam. I mean was it that hard to get Mila to do either a quick cameo to let people know she and John are still together, even if it is literally a phoned in part? Was Sam really needed to be John’s new squeeze? Can’t she just be their lawyer? Then again maybe I am expecting too much from Seth MacFarlene. Also the humor is not as consistent as the first one which had perfect timing. This movie is more typical Seth MacFarlene. And by that I mean some jokes really work, while others really suck. Liam Neeson makes a pointless cameo, there is a running gag about candy being left out on lawyer’s desk that was dull, and Seth tries to be clever is some of his political satire but fails there as well. And then other jokes that were set up really well go on for way too long. There is a really funny scene concerning John’s computer and the degree and nature of his porn. The premise was great but Seth drags it on for way too long. Same goes for a running gag concerning Google and a certain member of the anatomy always showing up in searches. It was funny the first few times, but is brought up so many times it stopped being funny. There is also another REALLY well set up gag in one scene where Seth makes a damn good parody of a big reveal from a certain classic summer blockbuster (which may or may not have a sequel out this year). Right down to the reactions and the music. But then he kills the gag with one line that was a quote from the film, but it just did not make any sense at all in that context. Seth also does more then a few call back jokes from the first movie. Most of which do fall flat.
But that being said, there are still positives to the film. While this movie is not as consistently funny as the first one, over all it is still pretty funny. Even with some of the comedic fails and some of the horrible writing decisions, I still walked away overall amused. Some of the high points of the film’s comedy include when John and Ted try to get sperm for Tammy Lyne from Sam Jones, Tom Brady, and a fertility clinic; and Patrick Warburton’s return as Guy and his new boyfriend (played by Michael Dorn). But the best comedy comes from the banter and gags between Ted and John. A great deal of that is because of the great chemistry between Seth and Mark, and the fact that Mark Wahlberg is really freaking funny. Also despite Mila Kunis not being in the movie, Amanda Seyfried was a really good replacement. She had excellent timing, was very funny, and felt like she fit in with these two delinquent stoners. And while she and Mark are not lighting up the screen like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, they do have good chemistry together. There are also a few gags that do push the boundaries of what is acceptable, but they do work in the end.
Overall this was not a bad experience. I laughed, and really that is all that is needed from a comedy. But there are just too many elements to the film that are too bad to ignore. While I won’t say it is a bad movie it is hard to say this was a good movie or even recommend it. If you liked the first Ted I would say see it, but unless you are a diehard fan of the first movie, you can wait until this shows up on Red Box.