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Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss
(directed by Tommy O'Haver, 1998)
I've known of this movie forever, but never had any interest in watching it until now. I'm glad I waited -- the purpose of this gay romantic comedy is to tear your soul to shreds. It goes from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert to Hellraiser in 90 minutes. You'd think I'd really like that, but I don't. Those two things do not mix well.
This is the story of a gay man (Sean Hayes, who else?) who meets a handsome guy working in a coffee shop, named Gabriel. Sean Hayes is a photographer who takes pictures using a Polaroid camera that his mother gave him as a birthday present after she found out he was gay. Sean Hayes wants to take pictures of Gabriel.
Let me just warn you now that the rest of the review is going to be SPOILERS because discussing the ending of the film is crucial, as I want to warn you before you see this movie, if you see it. In a way, I'm glad the movie didn't turn out to be as simple and cutesy as I expected. But -- big BUT -- I also didn't expect the movie to end with emotional murder, which made the whole movie really, really horrible, which is sad because it actually was a good movie until the very end.
The story of Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss revolves around the relationship of Sean Hayes' character -- Billy -- and Gabriel. Is Gabriel gay? We don't know. Billy suspects something, but maybe he's just "projecting." We learn that Gabriel has a girlfriend back in San Francisco, but it doesn't seem to be going well between them.
After about an hour, Gabriel gets into bed with Billy and they fool around -- but Gabriel stops it before it goes too far. So, now we know that Gabriel is at least open to the idea of gay love.
Gabriel ends up going to Catalina for a photo shoot he's modeling for. Billy follows him there.
The knife in the heart moment comes when Billy discovers that Gabriel appears to be going FULL ON GAY -- but with SOMEONE ELSE. A sexy male model he must have met in Catalina. We see Gabriel ditch Billy and run off with the sexy model, putting their hands around each other and disappearing to go do gay sexual adventures, while Billy is now alone and destroyed.
The movie ends with a completely brand new character entering the picture and essentially being introduced as a replacement for Billy, who's been devastated about Gabriel. The new guy, named Joshua, seems more interested in Billy. He's also a photographer into taking pictures with a Polaroid. FADE TO BLACK.
In real life, that's great. In a movie, IT TOTALLY SUCKS. Hello?! You can't just put characters like that in front of us and then get a stick of dynamite and blow up everything and destroy them. That's what they do in Saw movies. Yes -- in real life, situations like this happen all the time, I'm sure. It's very "realistic." But is this really what you should do in a movie?
And then we get a "things will get better for Billy!" tacked on ending when he meets another guy who seems more like him. The camera pans far away from Billy and this new guy, Joshua, as they meet for the first time, leaving us feeling like we're abandoning Billy ourselves. This is a horrible, horrible example of gay romantic cinema. I wasn't even rooting for Billy and Gabriel to get together in the end, but I didn't expect the Gabriel character to suddenly turn into an ice cold, bitchy, vain little whore. And yes, it really does come across like that.
I can see hints now during the movie that a disappointing ending was coming, if you really think about it, but I didn't think that ending should have happened. As someone on IMDB.com said about this movie, when they watch a romantic comedy, they want to be comforted. And I can understand that. And Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss plays out like it's going to be a comforting movie, which is why I despise its ending. If you're going to be that dark, you should at least set the tone early on that darkness is coming, even in romance movies. I don't think the tone was really there. Hints in the story were there, but not in the tone. The tone of the whole movie ended up being pathetic -- that Billy was pathetic and that being gay is miserable. And while I don't see anything wrong with making a statement like that in a film... the whole film needs to warn you that it's coming. Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss doesn't do this. It's like watching E.T. and E.T. gets gunned down and shot to death in front of little Drew Barrymore and that kid who played Elliott at the very end. E.T. going home is sad, yes, but it feels right. E.T. dying, though, is a whole other thing, and not right. That's the problem with Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss -- it exchanges a sad ending for a hopeless ending. Because even though this new guy, Joshua, is waiting in the wings for Billy -- the viewers at home don't give a damn about Billy's future love life. They give a damn about Billy and what they've just seen him go through. Joshua is a cheap last minute attempt at happiness after the movie's just destroyed all the happiness we already had. There were other options it could have taken. Instead, they went for the more shocking "truth."
Another reviewer called this movie, "CUTE! CUTE! CUTE!"
Suffering is not my idea of cute.
(directed by Tommy O'Haver, 1998)
I've known of this movie forever, but never had any interest in watching it until now. I'm glad I waited -- the purpose of this gay romantic comedy is to tear your soul to shreds. It goes from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert to Hellraiser in 90 minutes. You'd think I'd really like that, but I don't. Those two things do not mix well.
This is the story of a gay man (Sean Hayes, who else?) who meets a handsome guy working in a coffee shop, named Gabriel. Sean Hayes is a photographer who takes pictures using a Polaroid camera that his mother gave him as a birthday present after she found out he was gay. Sean Hayes wants to take pictures of Gabriel.
Let me just warn you now that the rest of the review is going to be SPOILERS because discussing the ending of the film is crucial, as I want to warn you before you see this movie, if you see it. In a way, I'm glad the movie didn't turn out to be as simple and cutesy as I expected. But -- big BUT -- I also didn't expect the movie to end with emotional murder, which made the whole movie really, really horrible, which is sad because it actually was a good movie until the very end.
The story of Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss revolves around the relationship of Sean Hayes' character -- Billy -- and Gabriel. Is Gabriel gay? We don't know. Billy suspects something, but maybe he's just "projecting." We learn that Gabriel has a girlfriend back in San Francisco, but it doesn't seem to be going well between them.
After about an hour, Gabriel gets into bed with Billy and they fool around -- but Gabriel stops it before it goes too far. So, now we know that Gabriel is at least open to the idea of gay love.
Gabriel ends up going to Catalina for a photo shoot he's modeling for. Billy follows him there.
The knife in the heart moment comes when Billy discovers that Gabriel appears to be going FULL ON GAY -- but with SOMEONE ELSE. A sexy male model he must have met in Catalina. We see Gabriel ditch Billy and run off with the sexy model, putting their hands around each other and disappearing to go do gay sexual adventures, while Billy is now alone and destroyed.
The movie ends with a completely brand new character entering the picture and essentially being introduced as a replacement for Billy, who's been devastated about Gabriel. The new guy, named Joshua, seems more interested in Billy. He's also a photographer into taking pictures with a Polaroid. FADE TO BLACK.
In real life, that's great. In a movie, IT TOTALLY SUCKS. Hello?! You can't just put characters like that in front of us and then get a stick of dynamite and blow up everything and destroy them. That's what they do in Saw movies. Yes -- in real life, situations like this happen all the time, I'm sure. It's very "realistic." But is this really what you should do in a movie?
And then we get a "things will get better for Billy!" tacked on ending when he meets another guy who seems more like him. The camera pans far away from Billy and this new guy, Joshua, as they meet for the first time, leaving us feeling like we're abandoning Billy ourselves. This is a horrible, horrible example of gay romantic cinema. I wasn't even rooting for Billy and Gabriel to get together in the end, but I didn't expect the Gabriel character to suddenly turn into an ice cold, bitchy, vain little whore. And yes, it really does come across like that.
I can see hints now during the movie that a disappointing ending was coming, if you really think about it, but I didn't think that ending should have happened. As someone on IMDB.com said about this movie, when they watch a romantic comedy, they want to be comforted. And I can understand that. And Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss plays out like it's going to be a comforting movie, which is why I despise its ending. If you're going to be that dark, you should at least set the tone early on that darkness is coming, even in romance movies. I don't think the tone was really there. Hints in the story were there, but not in the tone. The tone of the whole movie ended up being pathetic -- that Billy was pathetic and that being gay is miserable. And while I don't see anything wrong with making a statement like that in a film... the whole film needs to warn you that it's coming. Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss doesn't do this. It's like watching E.T. and E.T. gets gunned down and shot to death in front of little Drew Barrymore and that kid who played Elliott at the very end. E.T. going home is sad, yes, but it feels right. E.T. dying, though, is a whole other thing, and not right. That's the problem with Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss -- it exchanges a sad ending for a hopeless ending. Because even though this new guy, Joshua, is waiting in the wings for Billy -- the viewers at home don't give a damn about Billy's future love life. They give a damn about Billy and what they've just seen him go through. Joshua is a cheap last minute attempt at happiness after the movie's just destroyed all the happiness we already had. There were other options it could have taken. Instead, they went for the more shocking "truth."
Another reviewer called this movie, "CUTE! CUTE! CUTE!"
Suffering is not my idea of cute.