I am getting real, and yes, The Phantom Menace is one of the worst films ever made, IMO. No one can argue that point with me. Battlefield Earth didn't have Jar Jar binks ruining every scene in the film. BE was terrible, but I think Phantom outdoes it.
"I'm a person, and my name is Anakin."
People say "But Menace had Darth Maul!!!"
Darth Maul, while he has a cool style to his character design, is a terrible character, that says one line in the film, and then gets smoked. Total waste of energy. He is terrible because he could have been so cool, but he just looks cool. That's it.
Queen Amidala is played like a slack-jawed yak on thorizine. As Portman slurs and drools through her lines, I wonder if she was slamming valium to deal with all the goofy **** that was going on around her.
"Here Natalie, put this horsehair tire on your head. Now, sit there and look around, like your important, even though if we had to pick anyone out of this room to be the court jester, it would be you, and your 4th grade make-up job."
What about when the Jedi have to take the quickest route to Naboo from Jar-Jar land? "Go through the planets core, it's the fastest way". WHAT?? The only time it would be faster to go through the planets core (which is impossible on any solid mass planet) would be if they were diametrically opposed to the place they wanted to go. So, if he droids are harassing Naboo, why would they drop their attack vehicles (which is what Jar Jar is running from) on the other side of the planet, as far away from the city they are attacking as possible? Maybe they saw Jar-Jar and knew he would eventually knock over a wagon full of christmas ornaments and "accidentally" take out their entire droid army.
Midichlorians - Stupidest.Idea.Ever. - and sayyyyyyyyy...Just how did Qui-Gon send that blood sample to Obi-wan, and WHY? One of two things could have happened. Qui-gons device either analyzed the blood and sent the analysis to Obi-wan (meaning it was already analyzed, so why not just look yourself), or it somehow sent the actual blood over to Obi-wan. Last time I checked, matter transporters were in Star Trek, not Star Wars.
At one point, there is a fart joke in the film. In a Star Wars film!!!
In Episode II, Sidious hints that Anakin was created by a powerful sit-lord that could create life. This means his whole destiny was planned by the Sith all along. SO why does Darth Maul try to run Anakin over on his hover scooter? And it IS a scooter. Like one of the lame ones from the 80s, remember those? Also, that kid is nine, some Sith Apprentice you turned out to be Maul, can't even take out a nine year old who isn't looking at you when you attack.
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