Lance's Reviews

Okay, maybe Rodriguez will surprise me. It's just that his last few projects (Once Upon A time In Mexico, Spy Kids Trilogy) haven't been too fantastic...

La Vita è Bella

Directed and Written By: Roberto Benigni

Produced By: Gianluigi Braschi

Scored By: Nicola Piovani

Starring: Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi, and Giorgio Cantarini


When I first saw this film, it blew me away. Holocaust movies before this always focused on the horrors of death camps and inhuman Nazis. But this one almpst poked fun at the whole ordeal. The story revolves around a Jewish father named Guido (Roberto Benigni with an incredible performance) in 1930's Germany. He is torn from his life and his wife as he is taken with his son to a concentration camp.

His son, however, doesn't seem to grasp the severity of situation. Guido, playing on his son's innocence, proceeds to make light of the terrible place they are in. Guido manages to hide his child and convince the boy that they are all contestants in an elaborate game. And thusly, and surely for the first time in holocaust film history, hilarity ensues.

But I don't want to give you the wrong idea, Benigni recognizes the humor can only be stretched so far in this sort of movie. At its heart, this is a story of the binding love a family shares with each other. It shows that that this love can conquer any foe. And Roberto Benigni was just... perfect.

MY FINAL GRADE: A+

I thought this film was real cool!! The storyline may need help....but
I just loved Johnny Depp in this one! Real Funny/Real Cool!!

Thanks for reading, but in the future please do not quote the entire review in your reply.

Sorry.....still getting the hang of posting.

Directed and Written By: James Cameron

Produced By: Gale Ann Hurd

Scored By: James Horner

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Paul Reiser, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, and Bill Paxton


In this hit sequel to the classic Alien (1979), Cameron took the helm and gave the franchise a new look. He turned a confined horror film into a Vietnam-esque science fiction war movie.

The movie has Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) returning to the planet where the original Alien manifested itself to help stranded colonists. She and a group of gung-ho soldiers arrive on the cold terrain, only to find the colony deserted. When they finally do find the source of the settlers' disapearance, all hell breaks loose.

I actually liked this movie slightly more than the original. Cameron and co. managed to make the most out of a somewhat limited budget, and you can clearly see his talent as a filmmaker and screenwriter. Weaver was nominated for an oscar, justly, and the rest of the cast backed her up marvelously (especially Paxton). If you are a fan of the genre, check this flick out. Because it is easily one of the best.

MY FINAL GRADE: A

Thanks for the steller MDB review, I haven't actually seen it I've been meaning to for ages but it's still showing down in AUS so maybe this weekend. Hope it lives up to the hype.

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Concert Tab!! MOFO poetry Been Dreaming Lately?

History of the World Part 1 (1981, Mel Brooks)
Nice review, Lance. Personally, I would rate this as his third best film, only being beaten by Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. I laughed much more throughout the film than you did, apparently, which makes me sad…okay, not really. And I agree; you don’t have to be a huge Mel Brooks fan to appreciate the comedy in this film.

King Arthur (2004, Antoine Fuqua)
I had a screening pass for it, but I used it to get a dog turd unstuck from the bottom of my shoe. I really have no idea how bad it was except from reading reviews and hearing people talk about it, but it seems that it did have an audience. I like Clive Owen quite a bit, and absolutely love Stellan Skarsgård, but their involvement didn’t assure me that the film would be any good. Tell the truth…the poster turned me off to this film more than anything else. Seeing Keira Knightley’s Guinevere wear a leather thong while knocking an arrow drove me away…though it turned me on a little. I mean, c’mon! That is not the Guinevere I grew up with.

Million Dollar Baby (2004, Clint Eastwood)
Stop gushing…Clint will never sleep with you. I have only known a couple of people to not like this movie, and I’m sure it’s a lock for most of the Oscars its been nominated for. With the exception of Best Actor; that puppy’s going to Jamie Foxx, as we all know…even though Don Cheadle deserves it hands down for his work in Hotel Rwanda.

The Count of Monte Cristo (2002, Kevin Reynolds)
Perfect way to present this film, bro. I too was amazed by how well I wound up liking it. It’s nice to be more than pleasantly surprised sometimes, isn’t it?

Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003, Robert Rodriguez)
This film was mainly pizzazz without any real substance. A great beer movie. Good review.

La Vita è Bella (Life is Beautiful) (1997, Roberto Benigni)
I still haven’t seen this film. I don’t know why. I’ve had it rented twice in the past and still didn’t get around to it. I know it’s not because it’s a foreign film (my review thread attests to that), so it’s beyond me. When I check it out I’ll try to comment more…until then…nice review, again.

Aliens (1986, James Cameron)
You’re ‘voice’ is getting more refined. Do you notice? This is one of my favorite action films ever…it just kicks plain ol’ ass. The original was a thriller, this one wasn’t…they are complete opposites as far as I’m concerned…so it’s almost impossible for me to compare them. The rest of the series are pale shadows to these two cinematic giants. Best review yet, man. May I make one request for a review? I’d like to see your take on Papillon, if you ever have the mind to watch it.

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"Today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

Thanks to the both of you for reading these. Slaytan, I have not seen Papillon, but I hope to rent it and review it sometime soon.

Upcoming Reviews

• Adaptation (Spike Jonez - 2002)
• 28 Days Later (Danny Boyle - 2002)
• Road to Perdition (Sam Mendes - 2002)
• Pleasantville (Gary Ross - 1998)

Thanks Lance, nice reviews…. even though I disagree with you about King Arthur…

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That is weird, I purchased Life is Beautiful and I still haven't watched it, I am not sure either but every time I look for something to watch I give it a miss, I also know I will one day.

Thanks for the reviews Lance

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

You people are all nuts! I can't say how disappointed I am that nebs and Slay have yet to see Life is Beautiful... Heck, just look at the crap I review and even I have seen it! Sheesh, and I thought ya'll were some movie mofos

BTW, great reviews Lance... As Slay said, you're really starting to find your voice!

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Toefuzz.com - Movie reviews and quotes for those of us fortunate enough to not have our heads shoved up overly critical rectums!

My Top 100 favorite movies.

Great reviews!
Love your screen name.

erm... I haven't seen it either.
:: presents hands for slapping ::

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

Adaptation

Directed By: Spike Jonez

Written By: Charlie Kaufman and "Donald Kaufman"

Scored By: Carter Burwell

Cinematography By: Lance Acord

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Meryl Streep, and Chris Cooper


Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind) has to be the most talented screenwriter in Hollywood. Every one of his screenplays has been a masterpiece IMO, and they've all been very well received. Kaufman's third film, Adaption, is broken into two parts that intertwine magnificently at the end.

One half of the story centers around hapless Charlie (the character is based on real-life Kaufman, and played by Cage perfectly). Charlie is a screenwriter, currently adapting a novel called The Orchid Thief. But he is having a little trouble with both writing the screenplay and with his sex life. As Charlie struggles to adapt the novel, his idiot twin brother Donald (also Cage) manages to sell his crappy screenplay that he wrote after attending one writing seminar. The hilarious exchanges between Donald and Charlie easily become the highlights of the movie.

The other half of the film takes place three years earlier and focuses on the author of The Orchid Thief, Susan Orlean (Streep). She has traveled to interview eccentric John Laroche (Chris Cooper), an actual orchid thief. I enjoyed the Charlie segments more, but the ones involving Laroche and Orlean were well-written and well acted too.

Kaufman's writing carries the film, but it helps that Chris Cooper turns in his best performance to date. Cage didn't fare too poorly either as the twin brothers and Streep is always good. Overall, this was a solid movie and a definite improvement over the last Jonez-Kaufman effort (Being John Malkovich)

MY FINAL GRADE: A-

Sorry Mose I haven't watched it because my hsb doesn't want to see anything to do with persecution of Jews, he is jewish, has worked with Holocaust survivors, he finds it all to sad, so i have to pick a time when he isn't home, and then I have to be in a certain mood.....I'm babbling

Nice review Lance

28 Days Later

Directed and Scored By: Danny Boyle

Written By: Alex Garland

Produced By: Andrew MacDonald

Starring: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, and Megan Burns


Director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland set out to make a different kind of zombie movie. The monsters are decidedly quicker and more intelligent than in previous incarnations. But the film is still Night of the Living Dead set in present day Europe. And it's not that scary, to boot.

A Londoner named Jim (Cillian Murphy) awakes from a month-long coma only to find a trashed and deserted city. He soon learns that it isn't quite as deserted as he thought. London has been overrun by mindless and hostile zombies (by-products of a freak lab accident) that spread their horrible disease through human blood. After our main character learns of his predicament, much of the rest of the movie focuses on Jim and a handful of other survivors as they make their way to a military compound in Manchester. But once they reach the encampment, their situation does not improve...

I hate this movie because it's such a waste of Danny Boyle's time. Filmmakers of his caliber shouldn't be allowed to make genric horror flicks. And the actors don't do anything special to set this apart from the recent slew of zombie movies released in the past five years, either. Stupid characters, a cobbled together script, long stretches of tedium, bad acting and a handful of "boo moments" add up to make an average movie I really didn't need to see.

MY FINAL GRADE: C-

Trust me, Life is Beautiful is not a depressing Holocaust flick. The majority of the film is simply Guido (Roberto Benigni) wooing his future wife and bonding with his son. The fact that the movie occurs in Nazi Germany is not really relevant. You truly have to see this, one of the greatest of all time IMHO.

Was just signing on to say the same thing Lance... I expected a depressing holocaust movie and was shocked to find it one of the most inspiring and uplifting films I've ever seen.

Pleasantville

Directed and Written By: Gary Ross

Scored By: Randy Newman

Cinematography By: John Lindley

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Reese Witherspoon, William H. Macy, Joan Allen, Jeff Daniels, and Don Knotts


This Gary Ross entry revolves around nerdy David (Maguire) and his sister Jennifer (Witherspoon) as they are sucked into a 50's-esque, B/W T.V. show called Pleasantville. The residents of Pleasantville have never known violence or harsh conditions. They have lead an eerily perfect life with absolutely no conflicts. But all this changes when Jennifer shows her classmates what Lover's Lane is really for. Soon, the entire universe is thrown askew with sex, violence, prejudice, and technicolor.

Somehow, Ross managed to take a light-hearted comedy and created an in-depth social commentary. He made that transition seamlessly (although I enjoyed the parody parts at the beginning slightly more than the drama bits in the second half). As for the acting, all the perormances were superb, most notably Allen and Macy. And the late character actor J.T. Walsh does a great job as well. The color-B/W scenes were brilliantly shot, even Newman's score stuck with me for a while.

If you can't already tell, I really thought this was a great film. Ross' best effort foshur, I'd even go as far as to say this is the greatest directorial debuts of all time... okay maybe I'm exaggerating. But nevertheless, you really ought to check this often overlooked film out.

MY FINAL GRADE: A-