MoFo Fantasy Football 2023 - The Season

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A system of cells interlinked
A damned close game, Holden! I was sweating, for sure. Pretty sure it call comes crumbling down for me this week, but we shall see...
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“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” ― Thomas Sowell



If anyone needs a running back, I've somehow (despite the record) got three top 20 guys (Robinson, Montgomery, Conner) and another three just outside of that range (Singletary, Ford, Hunt) I'd be willing to move one to upgrade at TE or WR or whatever.

That group averaged almost 14 points last week and most of them seem to have an abnormally high floor, but I can't start 'em all.



The trick is not minding
Pretty much a must win for me this week. And I’m taking on one of the top teams. Add to the fact our history head to head is pretty bad (he’s 3-0 against me) and some rough matchups for my players, it seems like a daunting matchup.



Well, it’s official. Burrow is out for the rest of the season.
Brutal. I'm sorry Wylde. I guess this explains why Tyler Boyd crapped the bed.



Yeah, that's a bummer. At least you got a 10 spot out of him before he left. I have an uncanny knack of playing guys that go out in the first quarter. Watson, earlier in the season as a matter of fact. So, hopefully my quota has been filled for the year.. Goodtimes!
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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...



Well, put up another good total, but yet again I've been paired with someone possibly having a slightly better one. Sedai's on pace for his best total of the year, in fact.



Well, put up another good total, but yet again I've been paired with someone possibly having a slightly better one. Sedai's on pace for his best total of the year, in fact.
Just look at yourself as a good luck charm.



Well, your human good luck charm worked like gangbusters again: faced the highest scoring team this week. I've got the highest Points Against now by a wide margin. In fact the gap between me and 2nd is larger than the gap between 2nd and 7th.

The really bonkers thing is how consistent it's been: I went back and checked, and since week 3 I've faced scores ABOVE the league average in every week but one. And in the majority of those weeks (five out of nine), my opponent's scored over 120. Over 135 a third of the time.

Been playing 16 years and can't say I've ever seen anything like this. That'll about do it, though. I think 7-7 would've gotten it done but it'd be pretty bizarre if 6-8 did, even with a really high points total.



A system of cells interlinked
Yep - Good game, Yoda.

My team has been terribly inconsistent, but this just happened to be one of the weeks where my players actually performed well for the most part. Aside from the TE and Flex positions, and oddly my first round guy, everyone overperformed. Dallas D has been a boon, as they tend to go off more often than not. I have my RB2 back next week, so I will try to keep it going to see if I can squeak into the playoffs this season. The other 5-5 matches are predicted to be in my favor - we will see where everyone lands after this evening.



I need 53.21 fps to win tonight against Parrotheads. Thankfully it's all on my Chiefs - Mahomes, Pacheco, and Rice. So, there's a chance. Theyre playing the Eagles in Arrowhead so KC has home field, and Mahomes most likely will be in a shootout with Hurts. Sounds like a good game.



I need 53.21 fps to win tonight against Parrotheads. Thankfully it's all on my Chiefs - Mahomes, Pacheco, and Rice. So, there's a chance. Theyre playing the Eagles in Arrowhead so KC has home field, and Mahomes most likely will be in a shootout with Hurts. Sounds like a good game.
I need 16 from Swift. Certainly not optimistic. In fact odds are probably better he gets injured on first possession and I get yet another 0 point game.
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Letterboxd



2022 Mofo Fantasy Football Champ
Good chance I can't even field a legit team next week. So whenever you feel bad about your season, look at mine and it will certainly make you laugh hysterically.



Good chance I can't even field a legit team next week. So whenever you feel bad about your season, look at mine and it will certainly make you laugh hysterically.

Yeah it's brutal. Whenever I think I got a bad batch of players, I can look at what you've been saddled with and I go silent. If I ever think I have bad luck, I look at Yodas (well documented) weekly statistics of his opponents scoring trends, and know there's a difference between having bad luck and being outright cursed.


I dont know if just a newfound lucidity, or that this has been a rough season in many ways for most of us. Then I look at Old Faithful, aka Yoda 2.0, aka Censored Clowns and am reminded how the same people keep showing up at the finals table in the World Championship of Poker. It's just a simple fact, I suck at Fantasy Football. Fantasy Baseball too. Do I enjoy it? Yknow, once I come to grips to expect nothing, I then appreciate everything. Best to not obsess, and never absolutely never ever ever bet money on it.


Then the delusion breathes life again and I wonder what the best of our league would say if someone middle of the pack presently ends up winning it all?!
Sigh. Hope is a double edged sword lol





There really wasn't much hope left for my season being salvaged, but entering Week Eleven there was still a little. But we're quite done with that, now. I cobbled together just over a hundred points, but it wasn't enough leading predictably to my fifth straight loss and the effective end of my season. Winning out the final four games was a heck of a lot to ask, but stumbling on the very first one drained any residual drama out of the situation.

My only hope was tied to the return of one or both of my injured superstars. Justin Jefferson has been eligible to return from the IL for a few weeks, but once again he was not activated, which isn't an encouraging sign that he is going to play at all again this year, either because his injury is lingering or because he has only one more year on his Minnesota contract and doesn't want to risk missing hefty time next season and jeopardizing his chances of a big-time extension or landing somewhere else via trade.

However, my other ailing star, Miami rookie RB De'Von Achane, was indeed tracking for return. With his gaudy 12 yards-per-carry average and a less than stalwart Vegas Raiders opponent, if he was activated I was surely going to be playing him. With BYEs the only other option on my bench beside Achane was Chuba Hubbard, whose 4.90 showing last week helped me to a loss. De'Von did suit up and go!....but after just three plays he seemed to re-aggravate the same knee that landed him on the IL and he was pulled and did not return. He had a single yard rushing and one short pass completion for four yards for a grand total of exactly 1.00 Fantasy point. Ouch. He isn't yet back on the IL nor shut down for the rest of the season, officially he is listed as day-to-day. But whether or not he returns at some point and can get back to the dynamic player he had been earlier in the season, it no longer matters to me.

Of course lowly Chuba Hubbard on the 1-9 Panthers ended his week with 7.50 points, which is hardly anything to crow about but in a close week a significantly better score than 1.00 and would have made the difference. *sigh*

Achane's teammate Tua Tagovailoa had a pretty good if unspectacular game numbers-wise in the win over Las Vegas with 325 yards passing and a pair of TDs, though again mitigated by his two turnovers, ending with 21.60 points in a week where had he gotten closer to his ceiling I would have cruised to victory. And while Achane stumbled my other two backs carried the load. Commander Brian Robinson had another good game, once again buoyed by some big pass plays for 131 total yards, but no TDs in the embarrassing loss to the Giants, for 16.60. The Jets continued their laughably lackluster campaign, though Breece Hall managed their only score of the day versus Buffalo, a receiving TD and 73 total yards for 15.80, which was a rather miraculous fantasy accomplishment in a game where the final score was 32-6.

My top score of the week came from Brandon Aiyuk, who for the second straight week scored a TD and had his best game of the year with 156 yards on only five catches for 24.10! Unfortunately the struggles for Washington's Terry McLaurin continued and by contrast his five catches were good for only 43 yards and no scores and 6.80 points, the third straight week where he couldn't even get to double digit fantasy points. Ugh. Doubly painful as a Commanders fan, watching their season implode right along with mine.

On a week where a nice little surge from my kicker or defense might have put me over the top I got just 3.00 from Detroit's Riley Patterson (three PATs!) and 6.00 from their DEF in what I hoped would be an epic, butt-kicking rout of The Bears but instead turned into a shootout they only pulled out in the closing minutes. As for my TE, Arizona's Trey McBride continues to be my best option, and he had seven targets in the loss to Houston, but only five catches for 43 scoreless yards and a ho-hum 6.80, far from the 17 and 20 point scores of recent weeks. Conswarnit!

After all of that, I did crest a hundred points (101.70), and Sean's team was behind me at the end of Sunday's play by 15.76 points. He had but one player going on MNF, Philly's D'Andre Swift. Swift hadn't topped fourteen points since week four and had only scored more than 15.76 twice all year. Which meant, obviously, he was going to have a big night. When I saw in the pregame it was raining in Kansas City I knew I was fu*ked. Sure enough, Swift scored the first TD of the game in The Eagles' second drive, only his fourth score of the year, just about guaranteeing that minus injury or a couple fumbles he was going to best fifteen points. He ended with 18.20 on 107 total yards, giving Wide Right a 2.50 margin of victory. So one stinking field goal or a modest 4.00 from Achane instead of a 1.00 and I am 5-6 and still have a mathematical chance. Instead 4-7 insures I am done. Even if Jefferson were to come back and Achane's knee was fine and they both averaged 30.00 points a week the rest of the way I no longer have a path.

Justin Jefferson and De'Von Achane both went down in Week Five. I managed a win in Week Six without them to go to 4-2 and I was in fourth place. Have. Not. Won. Since. Now I am 4-7 and in tenth place.

Yeah.
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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra



I'm wondering being the second lowest scoring team in the league if I would even make the playoffs by winning these last 3 games, making me 8-6. Hm. Math hard.



The trick is not minding
Losing my third game in a row and losing Burrow for the year was a hit punch. Totally took the wind out of my sails. I need to win my last 3 but I don’t have the confidence to pull that off. Not unless my team suddenly goes off.

At least I have Yoda to end the season. Should have my best scoring game of the year against him, again.