Alien vs Predator
Alien vs Predator: Requiem
Alone in the Dark
Transformers 1 and 2
Ninja Warrior
__________________ If at his council I should turn aside, Into that ominous tract which all agree, Hides the Dark Tower. Yet aquiescingly I did turn as he pointed, neither pride nor hope at the end descried, so much as gladness that some end might be.
Robert Browning 'Childe Roland to The Dark Tower Came'
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"Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot."
--D.H. Lawrence
The worst one in my collection could be "Brotherhood of Evil". It's supposed to be a thriller, but it's probably not even scary enough to frighten a 5 year old.
It may not be the worst movie in my collection, but certainly way up (or is it down) there: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990).
I actually popped it in and watched it last night at about 2:00AM. Hadn't seen more than thirty seconds of it in a long, long time, including when I bought it a decade or so ago. It was the $2 bin at Best Buy, as I recall...and yeah, I got shafted on the deal (not even worth 25¢). I knew it was horrid, but I forgot just HOW horrid. Some of the cinematography is nice, I suppose, and I spotted a young and not yet bald (though definitely balding) Willie Garson in a very small role, eight years before "Sex and the City" (though the first time he ever made an impression on me was a recurring role on "NYPD Blue", starting in 1996). Beyond the obvious horror show that is Andrew Dice Clay attempting to "act", it is such a threadbare excuse for a story, piss-poor editing, and a wildly inconsistent tone, adding up to a excruciating exercise in noise. I had even blocked out the obviously-puppet Koala bear. The best acting in the flick may actually be by Gilbert Gottfried, which should tell you all you need to know. It may be Renny Harlin's worst movie, though that's a fugly contest you don't want to judge.
Bad, bad movie.
Why do I own it? I couldn't say, honestly. I had a really fun "MST3K" kind of theatre-going experience with a friend of mine when it was first released as a bomb back in 1990. I think there were only four or five other people there, and we may have collectively accounted for almost half of its box office total. So perhaps it was an impulse to capture some nostalgia for that day? Also, the detective genre is one of my favorites, and maybe I was just thinking I should get a full representation on my shelf, even the worst examples? Here's The Maltese Falcon and Chinatown and Who Framed Roger Rabbit...oh, and The January Man and The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, too!
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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra
Oh, dear, and I just picked up a movie with Andrew Dice Clay in it the other day -- Making the Grade -- with Judd Nelson. 1980's comedy. I haven't watched it yet and I've never seen it before.
Really? Because Batman Returns is the best Batman film made. Also, Drew's in Batman Forever, but that's why I would watch it. Hell, that's why I did watch it.
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