The Gunslinger45's top 12 Biggest Film Disappointments

I had heard multiple times given for this very infamous rape scene. I heard 15, 25, to some even said 50 minutes. So when I watched it I used a stop watch. Needless to say it was the most uncomfortable 25 minutes I had watching a movie.

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

7. The Crow

When I was but a wee lad, there were four movies that I tried to rent as a kid but were denied by my parents. They were all rated R and I was under 18 so I still needed parental approval to rent them. I was given reasons for not seeing the movies ranging from subject matter I was too young to handle to the films being too violent. One of those movies was The Crow. These four movies I so wanted to see eventually developed a veil of forbidden mysticism around them. These movies had something about them that was forbidden, something my parents did not want me to see and by God my teenage self wanted to see them. So the day finally came when my older brother turned 18. He could rent the movies we were not allowed to see. We were no longer contained by parental mandate! We could go to Blockbuster Video and rent whatever we damn well pleased! And I finally saw the movie and it was a bore.

Now looking back I think the main reason for my parents not wanting to let me see the movie was because Brandon Lee dies while making the movie and for the rape scene in the beginning. While sad as it was that Lee died, after seeing the movie and judging it on its own merit I just did not see what was so controversial about the flick. I saw no reason I could not handle it as a teenager just a few years prior. I mean I saw Ninja Scroll and other early 90's anime before I saw this movie and they were WAY more violent and some of them had rape scenes. As such it simply did not leave up to my expectations.

That being said, two of the other 4 forbidden films I really like. I love Chasing Amy. And while I did not see much in that movie either that was so offensive I could not be expected to handle it at the age of 14, then when I finally saw it around 16 or 17; I could still see how the folks might have thought it was a bit much. Also it was still a great movie in its own right, and because I am a whore for Kevin Smith flicks (save for Cop Out). The other was South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut. That I totally get why the folks did not want me to see. Language was not the issue, but the movie does have a talking clitoris in it. I can see why they did not want me to see it. Then again Trey Parker and Matt Stone are brilliant and so was this movie. The fourth movie? We will get to that. The Crow on the other hand just did not hold up for me. And after seeing it I was left very disappointed.

Wow somehow I skipped number 9.

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I am no stranger to slasher movies. When I was a teenager I watched everything from Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween to Leprechaun. And I heard that this was supposed to be one of the very best. I heard this movie was supposed to be scary, disturbing and violent. I also heard that this was based off a true story but after The Blair Witch Project I grew jaded to that. But still the prospect of a new slasher franchise to explore was enticing and I finally rented the movie from Blockbuster Video. What a let down that was.

Okay I never really expected this movie to be scary. Slashers never scared me as a teenager. They were however were a lot of fun to watch. Plus boobs were pretty much a guarantee and I grew up without easy access to internet porn. So I was not expecting this thing to scare the pants off me. But I was let down by how not disturbing it was. Yeah it was violent and all but they hype that was built up around this flick by my peers just did not hold up. As such I never saw another Texas Chainsaw film until I came to Movie Forums. And it was Sexy who made be want to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. And you know what? I liked it better then the original. At least that movie had Dennis Hopper.

In my opinion, you won't truly love a hyped up movie people tell you to watch. This is one reason why I can't do the Hall of Fames and watch stuff just to "see more movies."

You love movies you're drawn to because you took it upon yourself to see them. Films you had to see and you're not entirely sure why. There's a reason there's movie trailers. To help you get a feel if the movie is something you need to see. If "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was pressured into you, of course you won't like it.

Awesome. So far I love every movie on your list.

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I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.

I like how all this is coming from someone who gave Yoga Hosers four out of five. He's effectively guaranteed that it would make a list like this if I ever get around to watching it.

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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

I really like Texas Chainsaw, but not as much as I had always hoped. I would consider it slightly disappointing for me.

I love The Crow and Straw Dogs though.

Couldn't agree with you more. The film is very slow-moving for one. It drags out with no enthusiasm to keep your attention. Not a single interesting thing really happens. And your right, Dustin's character is a total wimp. After he does find out they raped his wife, he simply walks outside and tells them in a calm, soothing voice "You're fired..etc.". That's his reaction. And the funniest, most pathetic part of the movie is when the guys start break into his house to terrorize them, and Dustin pulls a shotgun on the guy in the window, saying "You..You get out of here" in a completely mild and unemotional way.

Big disagreement here. I can understand the hype affecting your viewing, but it was still good to me nonetheless. The majority of the film isn't that scary until just the one girl is left. When you put yourself in her shoes, from the moment she runs into the gas station for help and beyond, it's pretty frightening.

8 1/2 is one of my favourite films Understand why you didn't get into it though.

We agree on 8 1/2 Gunslinger. One of the most overrated films I've seen. And yes I did like other Fellini films.

BOOOOOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I haven't seen Straw Dogs and really don't remember The Crow at all.
I hated The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I was expecting to so it wasn't a disappointment.

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I was really sharpening my pitchfork when I saw Fight Club, but after reading why it was on there I put it away. Yeah I could imagine how much of a killjoy it would be for that twist to be given away before seeing it, I was 11 when I first watched it and that twist is still the most memorable movie moment for me.

I'm actually a fan of Straw Dogs and The Crow, so will have to disagree with you on them. It's been so long since I saw Texas Chainsaw that I can't really comment on it.

I do agree with Suicide Squad, the marketing for it was insane, and then the film was just so mediocre. I will cut Ayer some slack if he really did only have 6 weeks to write the entire thing, that must have been a lot of pressure to write such a big film in such a short time, and on top of that had to worry about directing the whole thing.

Neat thread and I'm looking forward to the rest!

Your just saying that because you hate women in movies.

6. The Pirates of the Caribbean Sequels

I remember first hearing about Pirates of the Caribbean when it was first announced. I had to ask myself the same question I asked when I heard rumors of a Ridley Scott movie based on the Monopoly board game. Has Hollywood run out of damn ideas? I mean movies have been adapted from other forms of media before: books, TV shows, video games, comic books, plays, and epic poems. But a movie based off a f***king Disney theme park ride? Was Disney thinking backwards? Last I checked you made a movie, sold the merchandise, made dump trucks of money, THEN you can sell the rights to a theme park and make a badass ride. See Back to the Future the Ride, Star Tours, And Jaws the Ride.

Needless to say I was skeptical of it being a good movie. Then I saw it, admitted I was wrong, and offered Disney an apology. I LOVED Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. It was a gripping, fun, swashbuckling adventure movie with Johnny Depp as one of my favorite movie characters; Captain Jack Sparrow. And it also made a butt load of cash. So naturally sequels were in the works. I was very excited. Then I saw the sequels and that faded fast.

What the hell Disney? You had such a good movie then came up with three steaming piles of mediocrity. I can’t call them bad really. There are positives. Jack Sparrow returns, Barbossa returns, the set design and new locations are bad ass, and I have to admit the idea for the villains are actually pretty damn awesome. And Bill Nighy and Davy Jones was really cool. Problems however came in some pretty stupid ideas for the flicks. Betrayal and secrets revealed were kind of big things in the first flick. Will Turner’s Dad, Barbossa’s backstabbing, and making it look like Jack was going to sell out Will to get the Black Pearl back made for an additional layer if intrigue. Thing was, I was able to follow the misdirection laid out by the players in the flick. They tried to ramp up this aspect of the movie in the sequels, only now they made half the movie seem convoluted and confusing. And the biggest sin of all was the flicks still focused on Will and Elizabeth more than they did on Jack Sparrow. Why? They were fine characters and all, but let’s face it they are not the reason people go to see these movies. The audience came for Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, who was still kept in as a supporting character. The first sequels had a better plot and a way better villain, but the fourth Pirates movie was at least a step in the right direction. Cut out Will And Elizabeth and focus on Jack. Will and Elizabeth were no longer interesting characters in the sequels and never should have been in them. They felt like filler until we got to Jack and more swashbuckling.

Again, I can’t call the films bad, but they certainly dropped the ball enough to be major disappointments for me.

I don't have much a recollection of the Pirates films, but I don't think I liked them all too much. Especially bad was the fourth.

Loved Curse of the Black Pearl as a kid and hated the sequels for the most part so definitely get that one. And i forgot to say earlier Fight Club as well as SE7EN were both spoiled for me, still loved them though. Oldboy wasn't thankfully.

I like the Pirates sequels but they're not great. I don't know if I'd call them disappointing though as I never expect sequels to live up to the original.

5. Machete

Not going to lie people. This one hurt. I LOVE Robert Rodriguez. El Mariachi, Desperado, Sin City, Dusk til Dawn, hell I even liked Once Upon a Time in Mexico and his segment of Four Rooms. Robert makes some badass movies. And a repeated supporting actor for his movies is Danny Trejo. Who aside from being a damn good tough guy actor; is himself actually one of the more interesting people in Hollywood. After decades in prison on drug charges, found his way into the movie business and eventually found his early niche as the bad guy who gets killed in Robert’s flicks. In fact he wants his bad guy characters to die in the movies to try and tell troubled youth “don’t try to be like me or that will happen for real.” Top it off; he is a sobriety coach after dealing for years with his own addiction to cocaine. So when I heard Danny was getting to be the lead actor in his own movie based off one of the fake trailers from Grindhouse I was excited! Danny sure as hell deserved his shot at a franchise. So I saw the movie… and sadly I was disappointed.

Let’s say this first off. Danny Trejo was one of the best things about this movie. Danny was great as Machete. He was tough, he was sullen, he hacks people with machetes, and he even got a few funny bits like with the texting gag. And Danny with two topless babes in a pool? Epic. And I refuse to call a movie bad that involves Trejo gutting a guy and then using said sh!tbag’s intestines to swing John McClain style down from one story of a building to a lower one. That my friends; is over the top, fun, and absolutely metal! And that would be great if it stuck to being this over the top action fest of blood and t!ts. But this flick decided it wanted to take itself WAY too seriously with a political message. When Machete was not going around trying to get revenge on the guys trying to kill him, we had a bunch of forced “open boarder’s good, enforcing immigration laws bad” speeches. Leading to the biggest issue of the flick; this uber serious political lecturing mixed with fantastic action set pieces just do not mix.

Now I take a moderate view on immigration. It is a complicated issue. And I could spend half this review telling my political point of view on the subject, but I will keep it simple. I am not in “keep the borders open and if you disagree you’re a racist” crowd but I am not in the “build the wall and deport all illegal aliens” camp either. I tend to like my middle ground on the subject. But that itself is not the issue. So this flick has a political opinion different from mine. I like a lot of movies that express political viewpoints not shared by me. See my gushing review for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That was a lament of the fall of the hippie counterculture in the late 60’s and early 70’s and the supposed death of the American Dream. I’m certainly no hippie and won't shed a tear that the free love crowd ended hard; and I won't subscribe that the American Dream is dead. But Thompson’s writing style and execution were so pitch perfect and infused with talent that even I have to appreciate Thompson’s prose and artistic work. As such I love both Fear and Loathing the book and the Terry Gilliam film adaptation. And even films I might agree with politically have pissed me off. Hell I am against the death penalty and I still hated Dead Man Walking. You know you’re doing an anti death penalty movie wrong when all I can hear in my head while watching Sean Penn in that crap fest was the first few riffs to Metallica’s ode to the electric chair, Ride the Lightning. It ain’t the politics of Machete that that bother me; it is how it goes about it.

The actors chosen to deliver these empowered speeches include Michelle Rodriguez (a fine action hero but lousy with monologues) and Jessica Alba who can’t act her way out of a paper bag. I am willing to try and find compromise on a very complex political issue, but just thinking about Alba delivering her “We didn’t cross the border! The border crossed us!” abomination of delivery (and writing) and I am willing to saunter over to the “build the wall” crowd and don a MAGA hat just so I don’t have to hear her try to act. And the addition of these bits derail what was a great action flick. It jars me out of the action pieces and flat out disrupts the flow of the movie. It is like trying to add a socio political college lecture into Commando. Just don't do it!

Unless the politics are trying to be as over the top and ridiculous as the action and violence then it would be par for the course; but the movie goes out of its way to take itself seriously. It tries to mix a kick ass action movie with a bad ass action hero with the dialogue that would be laughed out of Oscar Bait. The action scenes are a glorious success and any movie where Trejo fights Steven Segal in a sword fight should be one of the best action movies ever in my book. But the preachy political drama with no subtly was so unneeded and the final product becomes pure mediocrity. If they cut out the preaching, recast Jessica Alba, and kept the entire tone as over the top; I would have loved the flick. Which made me very sad since I SO wanted this to be good. But ultimately, I was let down.