Things movies have taught me

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We've gone on holiday by mistake
In the movies when you get shot you will be able to carry on as normal and will most likely survive.



Movies thought me how to think about life differently and motivated me to explore and visit exotoic lands. What they didn't teach me is how to fight, gamble, and be a better lover. I got that all on my own



1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.
14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
20. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: "Enter Password Now."
21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
Great! When I make my movie, I'm hiring you as a consultant. In the mean time Saturday Night Live may not be a bad gig for you.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Did film girl miss the very first post?

People who are homeless or in medieval times, have perfect teeth.

The more a woman and a man hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from.

Photos, no matter how grainy, can always be enlarged and made more clear.

The only people who use bathrooms, are the ones who are about to die.
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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews



Learned that women are always dressed when getting out of bed after sex or that they are covering their breast when speaking with the guy they just had sext with.



With very rare exceptions, all movies carry a message of some sort or other, and they're open to various interpretations by various people.
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"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)



1. Always check the back seat before getting in a car - especially at night.

2. If you hear a strange noise, never, ever go looking for the source.

3. In the future, especially if you live/work in space, it will be necessary to have a giant spanner.

Oh, I just thought of another one. When you run out of bullets, throw the gun.



Point one - Never say you'll be right back, whether they die or not, they wont be straight back.

Point 2 - DONT RUN UP THE STAIRS FFS!!

Point 3 - The guy always gets the girl (with the exception of Die Hard where he just loses the girl everytime haha)

Point 4 - Token black guy always dies.

Point 5 - Its usually the person who isnt a main character to begin with, but usually the first person someone seems to trust.

Point 6 - The girl will screw you over, but hey, you'll forgive her, shes hot.

Point 7 - If theres a bath scene, you know something bad is coming.

Point 8 - Double tap! Always always get the double tap when killing, those F**kers always stay alive after being shot or stabbed.
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"Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?"
Steven Spielberg




\m/ Fade To Black \m/
Something I thought of last night was in america, when people dial a telephone number they always dial 555 first.
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~In the event of a Zombie Uprising, remember to sever the head or destroy the brain!~



If you are in a vehicle and chasing someone who's on foot, you will always run them down because they run straight down the middle of the street. They never think to go behind parked cars or run into a rocky field or jump into a nearby body of water (applicable where available) to evade you. Fear not, the victim is yours!
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"Miss Jean Louise, Mr. Arthur Radley."



In any movie containing car chases, there will be, be some point, a villain who makes his getaway in a multi-storey carpark.
The hero will inevitably have to, at some point, jump out of the way of the villain's speeding car and land between some parked vehicals, and will then be able to make it to the ground floor on foot, before the villain gets there in their car.

The villain will still though make his getaway, after all the exhausting running down stairs the hero has just done.



There's a pretty good list here that has some things we haven't covered yet!
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There's a pretty good list here that has some things we haven't covered yet!

I love number 9: If extra-terrestrials ever come to Earth, they will already speak perfect English and know all about human culture. But there will be something basic and obvious — like the custom of handshakes, or the use of sarcasm — that they won’t have heard of and will be totally baffled by.



Different coloured liquids in various glass bottles = Sciencey stuff. Coloured lights can also mean science is happening.

Forensic labs, despite needing prescition and accuracy will be as dark as possible, with the exception of a blue hue and/or an exceptionally strong hallogen bulb lamp.

When squirted with Luminol any and all substances fluores, regardless of the light level.

In a hospital, any level of security can be breached by someone wearing white coat or carrying a clipboard.



Also, any liquid that has anything to do with science, will inevitably have something living thrown into it.
What's weirder, is that when this happens, a strange ground-hugging smoke will come out of it and green and red lights will flash from within the liquid.



One thing's for sure, this has got to be one of the funniest threads ever.
To put myself in a better mood, I try to read a few posts from it almost daily.




In a hospital, any level of security can be breached by someone wearing white coat or carrying a clipboard.
As scary as this may sound, this one is actually true in real life. I was a courier for a while and I could walk into every part of a hospital with nothing more than a red cooler with biohazardous material stickers on it. Trust me, hospitals in the US are not secure.