Hotseat! Grill a MoFo: Yoda

Wow, my 3rd shift brain is fried with the NHL thing, time for bed.

Pardon me if any of these questions have already been asked.

If you could change your appearance to look like WHATEVER you wanted... how would you look, if you decided to change? Your own body and its limits doesn't matter -- this is fantasy. You can look like ANYTHING.

If you could be an actor, who would you be?

If you could be a singer or a member of a famous band, who or what would that be?

If you could have any telephone number you wanted, what would it be? I will not accept, "I'm not giving it out" as an answer.

If God could appear to you as anybody you wanted to see God as, who would that be? They could be exactly the same person or just look like him/her, doesn't matter, they're just God. God could even appear as an animal or an inanimate object or whatever. But God has to be something -- you can't let God make up His own mind here on who He should be.

If you were trapped on a desert island and starving, and you had to resort to cannibalism to eat -- for just one time -- and you had the power to eat ANYBODY so you could live -- who would you choose to eat?

If you could have an unlimited supply of something to eat or drink -- or smoke or whatever, if you did those things, though I know you don't -- you could have it forever, as long as you're alive, you'd never run out, it was always on demand -- what would that be? AND -- what one thing would you make disappear from your menu forever if you had to choose something?

Make up new words for the following words. They will become universal words spoken by everybody on Earth, no matter what language you already speak: tongue, hair, popular, business, hat, night, money, disease, leader, happy, cool, television, cigarette, monkey.

What song would you like to be listening to as you lay dying? The very last song.

If you were forced to watch an episode of a game show every day for the rest of your life, what game show would that be?

I think it's important to be content with this sort of thing, so I don't think I'd want to allow myself to do it. But if I had to, I'd make myself a little taller and my nose a little smaller. Beyond that, just things like making my face a little more symmetrical. I don't have any major issues with how I look (IE: wishing I had a different hair color or a totally different type of face).

I'm gonna assume in all these questions I have to pick, even though they're phrased as options and I can genuinely say I wouldn't want to be any of these people, no matter how famous.

That said, I guess I'd be Jon Hamm.

I'm gonna hijack this question and say I'd wanna be a female singer, because even though this isn't what you were going for, it'd be fascinating to experience life as the other gender.

What wouldn't I give out? I wouldn't give out my real number, but why wouldn't I want to list one I'd wish for?

Assuming there's nothing weird about my number being called all the time, I'd just want the same digit over and over. 222-2222. Might as well make my number as easy to remember as possible.

I would prefer God to appear in a very non-threatening form. Because I don't think the idea of meeting God would be this happy, pleasant thing. I think it would be very scary and difficult to deal with on every level, and while intellectually I think this is good and necessary and inevitable, in the moment I think I'd very much want to be able to mitigate that, even if only a little.

But barring that...well, it's gotta be Aslan, right?

Well, in that case, somebody really evil, at least. Kim Jong Un.

WEIRD QUESTIONS DUDE.

Very important that you didn't specify anything about effects, IE: you can eat this forever and not get fat, or something.

Has to be beef. Probably just steak. Nice and simple. No matter what I'm eating--high protein or not--I'll always have room in the diet for steak. Chicken is probably a close second, for the same reason.

Man, I thought the cannibal question was weird. Okay, new words.

Tongue = Fleb
Hair = Toft
Popular = Cremulous
Business = Producation
Hat = Hep
Night = Glont
Money = Tem

Oh man I can't even do this any more. Unless you meant you wanted me to pick existing words to sub for them. Otherwise I'm already tapped. I'd be at this all glont.



Easiest question yet. Jeopardy.

I'll be at this all glant had me laughing out loud for a good thirty seconds. I'm glad no one walked past my office they would have thought I was nuts.

Question: Seeing how you can view the IP address of members, is Sexy Celebrity and The Duchess one in the same?

Aww yeah

Normally I'd let people have a little fun/mystery, but since I've seen several people say this, I'll clear things up: I see no similarities in their IPs. I'm pretty much positive they're not the same person.

I'm glad you said that. I have been avoiding talking to The Duchess because I figured it was just a joke account and I didn't want to fall for a joke. Maybe now The Duchess will be grilled

Tough follow up question:
Let's say that happened and you were a hot female singer for a month and single too. Would you have sex with anyone? If so which gender? What else would you do or not do?

What is your all-time favourite video game?

If you were stranded on a desert island, which Mofo would you most like to be with?

What's the worst film you've ever seen?

What was the last film you watched at the cinema?

Are you really good at a certain sport?

How many prime numbers are there between 1 & 100?

Any plans big for the future?

There is already a grill thread for The Duchess. I made it.

YODA:

Which female singer would you be? If you were a female singer already existing and famous.

Proxy?

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Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.

Oh, I ask weird questions, but then he goes and asks these.

If this is all happening in my actual life, I wouldn't sleep with anyone, no. If it were some sort of moral vacuum, then I suppose I would out of sheer curiosity. But other than that I think I'd just live out a few normal days to see how things were different.

Probably Fallout 3. I really got wrapped up in that game.

Well, my wife's technically a member, so that makes this question a whole lot easier.

It'd definitely depend on how I defined worst. I've seen home movies with terrible cinematography. But I suppose the best way to answer this is to include the caveat that the film had to be made with some modicum of funding, with some reasonable expectation that it could've been good. And in that case it's probably one of the MST3K classics, like Manos: The Hands of Fate.

Interstellar.

I'm pretty good at baseball/softball, yeah.

Well, I count 8 in the first 20, so I'm just gonna guess the rest and say something like 30-ish.

Launch a couple big MoFo features this year, start working on another site or two. Maybe get expanded responsibilities at work. And take a trip to Seattle for PAX Prime in August. Should be fun.

Since I'd be doing it just to know what it's like, I don't think it matters. But the first I thought of was Florence from Florence + the Machine.

Tracing the IP doesn't show it as a proxy, at least, though I admit that doesn't completely rule everything out.

I can definitely see why someone would assume it's an alt at first, but I'm really certain it isn't.

I'm not The Duchess. I have told people this already. It's weird because it seems like I should be Duchess, but I'm not. This place just attracts weirdos. That's all it is.

Besides, The Duchess isn't even my kind of style. I would be a Queen, not a mere duchess.

If you were a rapper, what would you MC name be?
Which film do you think you've seen the most times?
Which artistic medium would like to be proficient at?
Can you or have you ever been able to do the splits?
Would you like to go into space?
Have you started to see/hear things which are making you feel your age?
Have you ever walked out of a restaurant because of the meal/service?
Do you have the same thing for breakfast every day?
Do you have an interest in the UK election?
Who's your favourite comedian? What's you favourite routine of theirs?

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5-time MoFo Award winner.

What if you accidentally became pregnant because of this?

If the only way to turn back into your man self was to have an abortion and forget about raising the baby, would you do it? Or would you stay a woman for at least 18 years and raise the baby?

Would you marry the father?

Hey, you started this. I just wanted to know what famous singer you'd be or which band you'd join.

Also, would the child affect your music career and the world tour?